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The Ocean first draft mentor text
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The Ocean

I don’t know how to swim. Even though I live right next to the ocean and go to the beach often, I get afraid of going too far in the water. I have a reason though. It happened when I was eight.

The palm trees rustled as the ocean breeze blew my hair into my face. My family and I were at the beach surrounded by a wall of rock and the weather was perfect.  My dad decided that since we were near water, I might as well learn how to swim.

        “Eve! Come on! I’m going to teach you how to swim!” he said excitingly with a grin on his face. He was an amazing swimmer and my mom trusted he could teach me.

        “But I don’t want to! I’m scared!” I said as I looked at the ocean. The big waves crashed down on the sand threatening  to swallow me up. “I’m okay with playing in the sand Dad!” I said as I wiggled my toes in the warm sand. I didn’t like the water.

        “Haha! You’re going to learn whether you like it or not little missy,” he smirked and held my hand walking to the ocean.

The ocean was definitively beautiful with it’s light blue color with a mix of green like paint on a canvas. I looked out beyond at the jagged rocks sticking out of the water like sharp teeth. I didn’t want to but I guess I had no choice.

        He held onto me as he swam a little out to the ocean. The water was cold and I tasted salt as it splashed in my face. I grabbed on tightly as I wrapped my arms around him. I didn’t want to ever let go, I was so scared.

        “Okay! You ready?” he said looking back at me who was on his back.

        “No I don-” but before I could finish he pulled me off his back and put me in a position like I was laying on my stomach only supporting me with his arms under me. I started splashing wildly afraid I would fall into the water.

        “Stop splashing!” he shouted as I tried to grab onto him. The waves were strong and splashing on both of us. Soon a big wave hit us and knocked my dad over. The waves kept coming and even though my dad was a great swimmer, he couldn’t quite swim since I didn’t let go of him.. We were dragged away with the waves further into the sea

“Help!” I cried over the loud sound of the waves. I was afraid I might drown and I held on tighter to my dad.

“Eve! Let go of my neck! I can’t swim!” he yelled as he tried to keep us above the water for as long as he could. I was too scared and I didn’t let go. The waves brought us closer to the dangerous rocks ahead. He finally was able to pull me off of him and he held me in one of his arms. We were still being pulled into the ocean but slowly he was able to paddle back to the beach with one arm.

We were able to reach the beach in which felt like eternity. He held me in his arms as I cried from the overwhelming fear that we might have not made it back to the sand. As he carried me in, we saw the lifeguard who finally seemed to be coming to the rescue. If my dad hadn’t been able to bring us in, then we would have been gone for sure.

“Are you two okay?!?” he asked as he ran over to check if we were okay.

“Yes we’re fine now, thank you,” my dad said with a weak smile, “but did you just notice we were in trouble?”

“Yes I’m very sorry for that!” the lifeguard said worriedly.

“Don’t worry about it, thank you anyways,” he said as he held onto my hand and walked to my mom who was running towards me with a scared face.

“Oh my god! I’m so glad you too are okay!” she said with tears in her as she embraced me tightly. “Is there anything wrong? Are you fine?”

“Yes mom, I’m okay,” I whimpered as she wiped the tears from my face. She turned to my dad and hugged him too.

“I thought you too wouldn’t be able to make it onto the beach,” she cried and my dad hugged her.

“Don’t worry, we’re fine!” he smiled and hugged her back. After we calmed down, we went home glad that we were still together.

I remember this moment a lot whenever I look at the ocean. I’m afraid of learning to swim because of that. But as long as I have my family, I’m sure I’ll be fine.