PPC HQ Hunger Games: Season 3

Scene: Headquarters’ Really Big Holodeck. The area is set to a Hunger Games-style arena, and in front of the camera are two Asian-looking girls in military fatigues. One is wearing a pink ponytail, while the other has long black hair, glasses and wields a P90 submachine gun. The pink haired one waves at the camera.

AYA: Hi everyone! We’re Aya and Kuroko, your hosts for the third edition of the PPC HQ Hunger Games!

KUROKO: This year, the format will be slightly different. First of all, the holodeck area has been increased in size, and is now allowing forty-eight contestants to take part in the fight.

AYA: The districts are still twelve, though, so the teams will consist of four players.

KUROKO: If we can define them teams. The game will go on until there’s only one surviving player, so we’re likely going to see some betrayals.

AYA: We also managed to find a way to prevent “sponsors” to send in weapons or food, and added a supply cache system instead. Every day, some crates with weapons, food, first aid kits or other supplies will be randomly placed around the arena. Showing your support to your favourite is nice, but we want a fair game!

KUROKO: Speaking of weapons, the arsenal has been expanded greatly. Now the players will be able to find firearms, light sabers, baseball bats and many more! However, hatchets are no longer available. Our producers seem to be wary of them for some reason.

AYA: In order to further even the field, players who don’t have some kind of power are allowed to have a weapon of their own from the start. Also, those starting weapons or powers will be automatically balanced by the Holodeck.

KUROKO: The Arena Event system has also been completely revamped. You won’t be disappointed!

AYA: And, most importantly, this year we’re airing live from inside the arena! Don’t worry, the Holodeck is set to ignore any damage dealt to the two of us, and any player attacking us will also be automatically eliminated from the game.

KUROKO props up her gun against her shoulder.

AYA. By submachine gun fire.

KUROKO: We could just kick out the offending player from the simulation, but where’s the fun in that?

AYA sighs.

AYA: Good thing deaths here are simulated... Anyways, let’s have a look at this year’s contestants! For District One, also known as District Huinesoron, we have Dafydd Illian, Morgan, Selene Windflower and Kaitlyn Jackson.

KUROKO: Agent Huinesoron was to take part in Dafydd’s place, but the elf seems oddly eager to take part in this.

Clips of the players speaking are shown.

DAFYDD: Hi all - I'm sure you're familiar with my name, if not my face. Dafydd Illian, formerly of DOGA. I'm here because I traded favours with the Nutmeg crew - I'll say no more - but I intend to try and win this. Is there anyone in the Games who can stand up to a Son of Feanor? I don't think so.

KAITLYN: This is gonna be so much fun! ^_^ Okay, I admit I only signed up because Selene did (and we all know why she joined - I will say no more), but time away from the RC will do me good - and in a pretty Arena, no less! Sure, there'll be murder and violence everywhere, but on the plus side, there might be mushrooms too…

SELENE: I'll get this out right at the start: my partner thinks I'm here to see Dafydd. That's not true. I may have been in some way... interested... in him in the past, but that was a long time ago. I'm here because I need a break - from missions, and from control. The DIA can't touch me in the Arena, right?

MORGAN: This is a game I can win. I'm an excellent shot, I'm more intelligent than most, and I don't do scared. It's fear that kills in the Arena, and for the next... however long it takes, I intend to be the fear. ... I just hope there's some alcohol on hand.

KUROKO: They sure seem eager. And, aside from Kaitlyn, also very confident in their skills.

AYA: Well, they are all very experienced. Dafydd’s got two Legendaries under his belt, and Morgan was instrumental in taking down Slorp during the Blackout.

KUROKO: Next, for District Newbie, we have Richard Legard, Marina Nicodelli, Henry Asclepe and Aiko Kimura!

RICHARD: I thought it was only a traning event when I signed us in, but I should have known better about HQ... Well, guess you can't live here without going some crazy event. Hope I won't die too soon…

MARINA: That' my partner's fault. He thought it was a good idea, and must admit, me too, since they threw me at the Sues right from the start... Moreover, I have to go through this 'World One' disguise again to not hex the simulation, like we tried in our last mission... Wait, talking about the game. Ha, not telling anything important for my opponents to listen. Just this: Richard, if I get you in the Arena, I won't play nice…

HENRY: This sounds like it will be fun. PPC agents are obviously way smarter and more creative in battle than Warrior Sues, so it should be interesting to see how fighting with other agents will go. Although I do hope that I'm not forced to fight anyone from my district, specially my partner. I have read the whole The Hunger Games series so I know how these things go, but I still would rather not end killing a friend.

AIKO: I joined mostly because Henry has read that series and thus wanted to do this for some reason. I couldn't leave my friend and partner to do this crazy thing alone, though probably much like him, I hope I don't have to fight him. Not only would not like to have to fight a friend, but he's a much better physical fighter and knows how these games go better than I, so he would probably have the upper hand. But still, this sounds like it will be fun, so I hope to do my best in this.

AYA: They might have been recruited only recently, but I’m sure they’ll do well!

KUROKO: Experience helps, but is not everything.

AYA: And now, for District Neshomeh, we have Supernumerary, Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill, Derik and Gall Knutson!

KUROKO: Since Agent Neshomeh doesn’t seem to be on board, we have no idea why the team is called after her.

NUME: Yes, Ilraen talked me into this madness again. I admit, though, since I almost won last year, it might not be a complete waste of time. I may not be a fighter, but I guarantee I can outsmart ninety-nine percent of the competition.

ILRAEN: Well, I did not really get a chance to compete last time. This year, I hope to prove that I am more than a name on a page. I am an Andalite, and that means I have the spirit of a warrior and the mind of a philosopher. I should be able to hold my own, whether through force or cunning.

DERIK: Why did I sign up? It was Gall's idea, of course, but . . . [grins] I'm going to beat her, and if that means I have to beat forty-six other agents first, then that's just fine with me. I've got nothing to lose, and that girl needs to understand she can't just punch her way out of everything.

GALL: Oh yeah, baby, Gall is in the house! Everyone had better stay out of my way, because I am going to beat face all the way to the top! Woo!

KUROKO: Another mixed bag here. Ilraen and Gall are sure looking forwards to the battle, but their partners don’t seem to be so enthusiastic.

AYA: Well, it is a game about killing each other for sport and fun after all.

KUROKO: And now we have District Corolla, featuring Corolla…

AYA: For once, a team called after one of its actual players!

KUROKO: ... Sergio Turbo, Nikki Cherryflower and Rayson Kerman!

COROLLA: This is going to be fun! I was hoping to get in the previous one too, but there were no places left so I got left out. After all, I don't get much action lately. Kinda miss that. But I also love my current job…

SERGIO: Well, I've been out of the action for a while, but I cannot let myself become rusty. This will be good exercise.

NIKKI: I wasn't sure about this, but Sergio insisted. He says that we have to keep ourselves ready for anything.

RAYSON: I... kinda got dragged in by Corolla. Don't hurt me?

AYA: Well, seems that Corolla’s at it again. Our DoSAT test pilot doesn’t seem to be very eager.

KUROKO: The rest of the team is promising, though. While Sergio and Nikki have been retired for a while, them and Corolla have proved their skills both during the Blackout and the Blank Sprite incident.

AYA: The next team is District Scapegrace, composed of Wobbles the Clown, Doktor Trollenfisch, Lola McCandless and Algernon, the 7th Earl Winbourne!

KUROKO: We’re not sure what the team’s name stands for, but it likely has been chosen by Wobbles so I suggest not thinking too much into it.

WOBBLES: Gosh, isn't this exciting? I mean, I know I'm not gonna do super great because there's a whole bunch of experienced agents in here and I don't like killing people who could be my friends one day but it's still super exciting and I hope you guys are making sure that any blood on the screen has the Ketchup Disclaimer if you're even thinking about putting it on or near NutMint.

DOKTOR TROLLENFISCH: Hello mein Freund! I am beink very excited about zer opportunity to test mein self against zer best HQ has to offer in zer ring of combat! Zer honour of zer Department of WhatThe is at stake! Also, vhile I am beink in zer simulation, if somevun could trot along to Responsezentrum 347 und make sure mein partner attends her FicPsych appointments and ist generally improvink in terms of mental health und vellbeink, zat vould be very much appreciated. Echt klasse!

LOLA MCCANDLESS: This is gonna be a really helpful thing. However long I last - and, y'know, I'm quietly confident - I'm an SRO; knowing in this kind of detail what potential partners are capable in a fight to the death is always useful.

ALGERNON: Oh, was that today? D-mn! I have yet to sign up and must away. Good luck to my fellow competitors!

KUROKO: Don’t worry Wobbles, this isn’t going to be aired on NutMint anytime soon. I think?

AYA: Anyways, this was a pretty interesting team.

KUROKO: And now, District Cynic, composed of Laura Dukes, James Pittman, Penelope “Gremlin” Tang and Xericka.

LAURA: Not gonna lie, I was miffed about missing the previous PPC Hunger Games. Consequence-free blood sports sounds like a hell of a party. Not to mention that I've always been curious about who would win in a fight between me and some of the other agents here. Time to find out!

JAMES: Just when I think I have a handle on this place, it throws me another curveball. I get the idea of sparrin' for fun just fine, but fightin' other agents on some sort of holodeck — I don't know about that. Still, it'll be interesting to see how well some of these other folks do, given all the differences in trainin'.

GREMLIN: Who doesn't love a good brawl from time to time? Admittedly, I'm more at home in the city than in this fake nature arena thing, but it should still be fun. At least no one here will try to possess me in here as part of the fight.

XERICKA: I have absolutely no interest in this event. I do not see the point of it. The only reason I elected to join is because my partner begged me.

AYA: Well... We can say that again, some members of the team are eager and some... not so much?

KUROKO: I hope we aren’t going to see many more like Xerixka. We actually want determined fighters here.

AYA: Indeed. Next is District Sea Turtle, and no we have no idea about this name either. Its members are Harris Frost, Tacitus, Gaspard De Grasse and Yakov!

TACITUS: Collecting data on others requires field work. I don't expect to win this at all-- I'm just here for the info. Plus, If I can get to punch a few people while I'm at it, it's all good.

YAKOV: Me? Oh, I don't know. Sittin' 'round the RC and watchin' TV was gettin' borin'. So I sees this murder-hidey-death-survival game and I says to meself: "Eh, why not? Plus, I get to skip a few days of work." That should git Bulldog off my back-- been chasin' me for late reports. Ee's, uh, not 'ere, is 'ee?

HARRIS: I'm here because I wanted Gaspard to get out more. Sure, I kinda lied and told him that the Hunger Games was some culinary thing, but he's out and about and is gonna have fun. I don't expect either of us to win, but I might as well give it a shot. You never know.

I'm doing this for you, buddy. You'd better be thankful.

GASPARD: Harris, your ass is grass and I'm going to mow it.

AYA and Kuroko blink in confusion.

KUROKO: Well... Wasn’t that an interesting badass boast?

AYA: ... Sure.

KUROKO: And now we have District Alleb, composed of Michael Green, Mia, Jesse McKines and obviously Alleb!

MICHAEL: Mia really wanted for us to sign up, so I thought, "Why not?"

MIA: I'm only here to kill Greenie but still have him around to man the console. Kid's a wimp.

JESSE: Well, I read about these here "Hungry Games" on the "interweb" and I thought it was a big 'ole home-style dinner. It isn't. [sighs and spins revolver]

ALLEB: I am rather excited! Cer Fel and I will simply chew up the competition! [laughs, then trails off awkwardly] It-- it's funny, you see, because her name means Blue Bite. Um. Yeah…

AYA: Well, I guess the games should’ve been explained a bit better on those flyers?

KUROKO: Perhaps.

AYA: And now we have the ninth district, which is called... well.. District Nine.

KUROKO: Maybe they’re referencing that movie?

AYA: I don’t know, but the players are The Aviator, Zeb, Alex Dives and Farilan-Haothil-Esthine!

ALEX: Oh man, this is going to be awesome! I've never worked in the field before so I don't know how well I'm gonna do, but I'm definitely going to give it my best shot! I've been practicing with a training light saber so I think I might have an okay chance at winning.

ZEB: From what I've read, it's really not too different from a Pokémon battle... an unstructured, free-for-all, backstabbing Pokémon battle. It should be an interesting experience going up against opponents more intelligent than your average Sue, though, that's for sure.

AVIATOR: I'm only here because my brother and partner made me come. Maybe I'll just step off the plate at the beginning just to **** them off... eh. I dunno. But I spent three hundred years dodging Dalek death rays—hey, alliteration—so if I go out, it's probably because I got bored or the other guy got lucky.

FARILAN: I still think the whole concept is absolutely barbaric, but who am I to pass up a chance to study the primitive killing rituals of other species?

KUROKO: Am I still in time to join? I want to show Farilan how effective my primitive bullets are.

AYA: I’m afraid no, Kuroko. We’re the hosts, besides. We’re needed here, and we should be impartial. So, it would make me happy if you didn’t pick up fights with the contestants, OK?

KUROKO: Ok, ok. Anything for you. By the way, it’s time to introduce District Flame, led by JF and including Colt, Calpurnia Library and Gerry!

LIBRARY: While I know these things tend to... get out of hand rather easily, if the Quiddich league games are any indication, there's nothing wrong with some competition between agents.

COLT: I signed up because... wait, why did I sign up? Right, Gerry said she didn't think I could last since I've never worked in an action department. I'm going to prove her wrong.

GERRY: I plan on proving to certain knuckleheads that just because I haven't worked in the field for years, it doesn't mean I've lost my touch.

JF: [wild bouncing] Ohmanthisisgonnabefunheydowegettowearcostumesforthepre-Gamesthingtheydointhebooksandmovies oh oh oh oh man I can use real fire in this and not get in trouble for torching someone right? Right? Since it's supposed to be on purpose??? Yeeeeeeees.

AYA: Someone please stop JF before she breaks something!

KUROKO: Indeed. She’s either going to bounce through the roof or burn something.

AYA: And now, we have another team composed by randomly throwing contestants together - District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder, composed of Natalie, Za’kiir, Hieronymus Graubart and Androia Avatar!

KUROKO: Unfortunately, we weren’t able to interview Natalie and Za’kiir, as they were on a mission until now.

AYA: In fact, I’m quite surprised we managed to interview so many!

HIERONYMUS: Volunteered? Who told you that I volunteered? I was dragged in by my partner. She just didn’t stop nagging.

ANDROIA: Of course I dragged him in. If we will ever get to doing something here, I must know what the old man actually can do on a mission. As for me, I am so new to this job that I did not actually fully arrive yet. I need the competition with other agents to see whether I am good enough, or whether all this was just a really bad idea.

KUROKO: Last is the Unnamed District, due to the fact that all of its four players actually had signed up solo. Surprisingly, two Flowers joined the battle! They’re the Captain Dandy and the Tiger Lily, who likely are still trying to outdo each other, and the other two players are Luxury and Dr. Fitzgerald!

CAPTAIN DANDY: Well, it's all in fun, isn't it? I admit I've been out of touch with our agents this past decade; it will be excellent to test the new batch's skills in person. And if I demonstrate along the way that the PPC's defenders are a force to be reckoned with, that can only be a good thing, right?

TIGER LILY: This is deadly serious. Agents who display violent tendencies in this simulation may be significant security issues on the outside, as well. I'll need access to all footage after I leave, to run a proper analys- what? No, I'm not just joining because the Weed did! What a ridiculous notion. ... but I'll beat him, you just wait and see.

AYA: We weren’t able to get an interview from Dr. Fitzgerald - he was apparently busy with the aftermath of a nasty DAVD mission - and about Luxury…

KUROKO: We’re not broadcasting that. Besides, she just tried to seduce the two of us for most of the time, so it isn’t going to tell us more that everyone knows about the infamous Bad Slasher.

AYA: And now that the introduction are done, we can start the game!

AYA and KUROKO: Three... Two... One... START!


Day 1

AYA: As would be expected of PPC Agents, most are avoiding the Cornucopia entirely, and... Whoa!

KUROKO: That’s a pretty big fireball over there. Let’s see... Well, JF wants to show she means business, as she’s just incinerated both Mia and Ilraen.

AYA: It seems hers are the only kills for now. Morgan managed to walk away from Gremlin with just a broken nose, and a very scared Corolla just broke the arena’s speed record while running away from Yakov... Wait, Xericka, don’t go that way!

KUROKO: Too late. We forgot to mention that the arena is laden with some traps as well - and Xericka just discovered a Pit of Death. We can say that our Nobody just no-bodied herself.

AYA: That was quite of a lame one, Kuroko.

KUROKO: Anyways, there are some fights for equipment going on, with Supernumerary and Natalie ripping away maces from the Tiger Lily and Aviator respectively, and the Captain Dandy just made clear to Aiko that that bag is his. Luckily, the Floater understood before things got violent.

AYA: With this, I guess we can say that the usual rivalry between the Dandy and the Lily is currently 1-0 for the former. See you later for updates on the battle!

AYA: Welcome back to Nutmeg TV’s live broadcast of the Third PPC HQ Hunger Games!

KUROKO: It seems that having been retired for some years dulled Nikki’s edge, as she was just ambushed and killed by Androia. A quarterstaff can beat even an energy sword, if surprise’s on your side.

AYA: The other two retired veterans, Dafydd and Sergio, are faring better so far. Dafydd seems to have never forgotten how Elves move unseen in the woods, as we already lost sight of him, while Sergio seems happy with... fishing?

KUROKO: That will not last long. As soon as he hears of Nikki’s elimination, he’ll be off looking for revenge.

AYA: Alex Dives, despite being just a technician, is showing incredible courage. He’s chasing JF - despite the fact that she’s currently in the lead, and much more experienced than him.

KUROKO: He’s Aviator’s brother, after all. Speaking of the Time Lady’s partner, Zeb, he seems to have decided to ally with Corolla. Or maybe Corolla is forcing him to be her steed. We don’t know, and haven’t been able to track them at all, being two of the smallest contestants and all.

AYA: And Gaspard just showed why Spies are not to be underestimated - Hieronymus is still quite puzzled as how he got away. Will he strike back from the shadows?

KUROKO: I’m more interested in the fact that, despite this being just a game, it seems to have adverse effect on the minds anyways. Henry and Gremlin are already questioning their sanity, while Alleb and Kaitlyn decided to truce and pick flowers together in the middle of the carnage.

AYA: Well, there haven’t been many kills so far, to be fair. Everyone seems to be playing safe this time - many players are either looking for resources or just following their targets silently.

KUROKO: Waiting for the right moment to strike... exactly what we’re supposed to expect from PPC Agents.

AYA: Even Luxury is playing tactically, and keeping track of her resources..

KUROKO: Aya, I... Am not completely sure that’s what the Automated Event Feed meant by “checks her equipment”. But I hope you are right.

AYA blushes

AYA: Please let it be like I said.

KUROKO: So, the first day is coming to an end. We had a rather slow start, with only four players eliminated today - they are Mia, Ilraen-Aroline-Fothergill, Xericka and Nikki Cherryflower - but this is just the beginning! Don’t miss tomorrow’s report from the PPC HQ Hunger Games, only on Nutmeg TV!

AYA and KUROKO bump their shoulders, and “shoot” the camera with their hands in gun shape.

AYA and KUROKO: See you next death!

Clips of the players speaking are shown.

District Huinesoron

DAFYDD: I hope you can already see my tactic: stealth. There's no point collecting weapons at this point - with 48 (wait, 44 now the cannons have gone) of us in here, anything I collect will be stolen twelve times by morning. No, the right thing to do is stay low, stay out of everyone's way, and wait for the rest of them to wear each other down.

KAITLYN: Wow! This is pretty intense. Did you see all those people attacking each other at the Cornucopia? Obviously I didn't want to get tangled up in that, so while they were all distracted, I slipped away. I found this lovely open field, and this lovely girl - name's Alleb; we've been picking flowers all afternoon. Not, I hasten to add, (just) for fun (or just so's I could practice making daisy crowns for her): I'm not too bad a botanist, and any information I can get on the kind of things growing in here might help me find food in the absence of mushrooms.

SELENE: I've seen agents running around by themselves all day, but I think they've got the wrong idea. Teamwork, that's the way to go. Why does the PPC give us partners? So we have someone to watch our backs, and help us when we get in trouble. Okay, I admit neither of my official partners in here has spared me a second glance, but there's still room for alliances. Wobbles and Jesse have been perfectly helpful - Wobbles reminds me a little of Kaitlyn, actually. And if I get hungr- no, never mind that.

MORGAN: Winnig this thig is dot goig to be as easy as I thought. I dod't have a clue who that girl with do hair was, but she broke by dose with her wild swigig! Dow I'b having to rud away frob levitatig fish - how ebbarassig! At least it should heal edough overdight that I'll be able to talk properly agaid…

District Newbie

RICHARD: To be honest, I hoped with all the savy people I could go to the Cornucopia, but once I saw the Captain, the Aviator, Tiger Lily, I went for savy... From the sound of it, JF proved me right. After that, it was going for food, so I'm ready for the next days, something really hard with a sword. Took me all the day.

MARINA: Avoid the obvious deathtrap? Check. Finding a group ready for backstabbing in order to go for the rests once they're dead? Check, now I found this Black Court Vampire talking about an alliance with someone, so it will be quick... What do you mean, she's a Stokerverse vampire? That's what I said. Seriously, he could have added "How to kill these super-zombies", or a Victorian variant, to Dracula if he had knew his book's true purpose...

HENRY: Of course I ran away from the Cornucopia. If you have seen The Hunger Games in their canon, then you know any supplies there are not worth getting caught in the bloodbath that usually happens. It seems that most of people participating in these Games were smart enough to stay away from, though unfortunately my partnet decided, for some reason, to fight with a Glaurunging Flower over something. Why did they put Flowers in this anyway!? Ugh. You know, having read these things, I though I would be able to handle this better. but I think I'm already starting to lose it ...

AIKO: OK, so ending fighting with Captain Dandy over that bag of ... crystals? Well, whatever those were, that probably was not the best idea. I wish I could have gotten a bow or something similar. I also wish I knew more about these Games. Henry didn't have much time to explain things to me, so it seems that he knows something about this ...Cornucopia that I didn't, since he immediately took off. That probably was smarter, considering people got blown up back there.

At least I found this Colt guy afterwards. He seems nice enough, though I don't know how well he will fare in a fight, since it doesn't serm that he is from an action department. Though can't shake the feeling that we are being watched by someone.

District Neshomeh

ILRAEN: . . . *facepalm*

NUME: So Ilraen got himself blown up right out of the gate again, huh? Damn. I blame Legal. He's the one of us who actually wants to be here, so of course he'd be the first to go.

Oh, that. Look, nobody told me there would be Flowers in this, and it's absurd. I was going to get out of the way, but then I saw the Tiger Lily picking up a frelling mace, and it just p***ed me off. What does a telepathic plant need with a mace? I'm not gonna use it, but I wasn't gonna let her have it, either. Same goes for Captain Dandy. I wasn't able to corner him today, but maybe tomorrow. We'll see what happens.

DERIK: The Cornucopia is never a good idea. My plan was to get away and catch up with my dear partner as quickly as possible, but I wasn't able to find her. It seems she's actually being stealthy. Still, I got a good look at the Arena, which should serve me well.

GALL: Did you see the look on that old guy's face? Priceless!

That Flower is really bugging me, though. If she thinks she's getting my mace, she can forget it.

I didn't attack because you don't go after the weak opponents first. You take out the competition in the beginning, when you're at full strength, then pick off the weak at your leisure.

District Corolla

COROLLA: That guy looked scary, and I'm not so good at close combat so I decided for a tactical retreat. Yes, tactical. Luckily I met Zeb afterwards - we're working together for now. I wonder if he'll let me ride him?

SERGIO: Avoiding the Cornucopia proved to be a good idea, and I found a river rather early so I managed to get myself water and a couple of fishes. All looking good, until I ran into Nikki's mangled body. Damn, why we split up? Apparenly the killer is Androia Avatar, a night elf or something. Doesn't matter, I'm used to fighting magical stuff. It's fu[BLEEEP!] on now.

NIKKI: Well... that hurt. I really see now what Sergio was meaning - I've been beaten like a complete newbye. If that was real life, I would be dead now. Time to start training again?

RAYSON: I managed to run away from the Cornucopia, and then found two other players. I don't think they saw me, but I was afraid to ask them to team up - what if they killed me?

District Scapegrace

DOKTOR TROLLENFISCH: Jawohl! Zer Time Lord known as Morgan ist havink zer leetle problems vizz zer Time Fisch! Hahaha! Ach ja, zis ist beink fun! Gabrielle, if you are vatchink, zen I am hopink you are beink proud of mein Intimidatink nature! Echt klasse!

FIELD COMMANDER LOLA McCANDLESS: Ow ow ow ow ow [CENSORED] thorns ow ow thorns spiky ow ow ow [EXTREMELY CENSORED] thorns. Also found bombs and wished I was a [REALLY, REALLY CENSORED] Engineer class back in the Mountain ow ow OW!

WOBBLES THE CLOWN: Well, the compomatition's been going super well so far! I met a really super nice person called Selene Windflower and we went fishing together and after we talked with someone called Jesse and it was really super fun and nobody was brutally killed by agents we haven't met and we exchanged numbers and it ended up being kinda nice and not at all as covered in the red stuff as I thought it was gonna be. So that's nice! =oD

ALGERNON, 7TH EARL WYMBOURNE: Another agent and I have been searching this place for resources. Alas, it does not appear that the simulated grasses in this place have sworn fealty to the Raven King, and the Holodeck itself is a rather cantankerous fellow. I am thus rather more defenseless than the average agent, and am thankful for the protecting presence of Mr. Green.

District Cynic

LAURA: Kinda wished I had grabbed more from the Cornucopia than just a shovel. It's useful and all, but I'm not out here to dig trenches. I need to think about the long game; you know, food and stuff. This cave I found will do all right for shelter. Somebody might try trapping me in it, sure, but I'm pretty sure that would go badly for them in multiple ways.

JAMES: I need to keep as much distance between me and the other players. Especially the Flowers; I was more than a bit surprised to see a couple of them out there. Got to stake out a few goodspots and use them to my advantage. That's why I skipped the Cornucopia entirely and focused on investigatin' the arena. Know the terrain, and you can control it.

GREMLIN: I don't believe this. I DON'T F***ING BELIEVE THIS!

Things were going pretty well. Got some food, broke that Time Lady's nose — I was getting things done! Then I look around and my partner HAS FALLEN DOWN A F***ING HOLE!Ta ma de! Now I've got no one to watch my back. Ugh, I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I swear, if Xericka deliberately fell down that hole to get out of this, we are going to have some words after this.

XERICKA: I did not deliberately fall down that hole. While I had no desire to participate in the competition, actively sabotaging myself did not seem to be an acceptable way out. I made a promise to Gremlin and had every intention to keep it. I was merely trying to maneuver to a better spot on the outskirts of the Cornucopia when I fell into the trap.

As a note: teleportation by darkness portal is less than effective in the middle of a fall (if the fall is not long enough to allow for it).

Perhaps this is for the best. I will fully admit to not being a strong combatant. Observation and analysis is far more appealing to me.

District Sea Turtle

TACITUS: Found explosives and currently searching for water source. Stalked a few agents from the shadows. All of them seem to be getting their bearings-- the action is only just starting.

Will attempt to set up a trap if time permits. Need to find a safe place to sleep.

YAKOV: Run, little thingy, run. I 'ave no idea who she was, but she ain't gettin' anything from the supply drop at the centre. Grabbed what I can, went into the woods. Gonna build meself a fire for the night-- and hide. As soon one of these guys pops in to investigate, Imma gonna git 'im.

HARRIS: The Cornucopia is for suckers. If anyone reasonably strong finds himself a weapon in there then everyone is dead. Gonna hide in the forest and forage for food. I feel like I'm being watched, though. I don't like this. I think I'll keep moving and try to blend in-- we're Spies for crying out loud. Sneaky-beaky is the name of our game.

GASPARD: I wanna go home. I'm being chased by some madman-- I managed to give him the slip and escaped. I can't be eliminated yet-- I need to find Harris and throttle him.

I should find a weapon or something. There's this nice stick nearby-- I think it could be a decent spear or something.

District Alleb

MICHAEL: Well, that wasn't too bad. I feel a bit sorry for Mia, though. Algeron and I are working together for now, and he seems nice.

MIA: *growls and stomps past the interviewer*

JESSE: What kinda twisted mind thought up this sport!? I met a woman in the woods and I thought about killing her. Killing her!

ALLEB: I met a very nice lady named Kaitlyn, and she and I decided to make flower crowns for a while. She also mentioned something about "botany," but I'm not sure what she meant. Maybe it's a type of poison? *looks up at flower crown and hurriedly knocks it off*

District Nine

ALEX: Oh, man, did you see me out there?! I'm doing pretty good so far!

ZEB: Shame about Ilraen; I was kind of hoping to team up with the guy later. *shrugs* Corolla's been pretty fun so far, though.

THE AVIATOR: Wait, the Tiger Lily is in this?! Do you have any idea what this means? I can't kill her, even if it is self-defense! You heard what she wanted to do to me—if I so much as fight her in here it's going to be seen as a personal attack! Ugh...

FARILAN: Yes, I know, I twisted my hoof. Shut up. I'm used to laboratory floors, not this rocky terrain nonsense.

Oh, the other Andalite? So he went and got himself killed. Why should I care? This is only a simulation.

District Flame

LIBRARY: Hopefully chooosing the prudent path will work out in my favor for the long run- I knew staying near the Cornucopia would be a bad idea, and it's only sensible to learn more information about the other competitors.

GERRY: A shield and spear is pretty good kit. I was lucky nabbing the first, and the spear wasn't too hard to make. I feel pretty prepared.

COLT: I got a lighter and some rope, and I ran into some girl. We didn't fight, but I'll probably have to do that sooner or later. Have no idea what to do with the lighter, but I'm sure it'll come in handy.

JF: Firefirefirefirefirefirefirefire Errr whoo I took on two people at once!

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

ZA'KIIR: Bombs? Bombs are... This one has no idea how to use them. This one has never used them. They do not exist in Nirn. But no matter - patience and stealth, remember; a lesson soon learned is a kill soon earned. Alkosh protect me, and Sangiin guide my paws and path! For I follow Death today!

NATALIE: Ow. Ow. Ow. And more ow. I have no idea how I hurt myself, but this is not good. Got a big mace that I can use a little, but I think someone's following me... I'm secretly panicking.

HIERONYMUS: Well, what would you do if you see a Viking lass armed with a humongous mace walking straight up at you? Try to kiss her? I preferred running away. And then this other guy crossed my way, and he couldn’t just mind his own business. He had to yell some gibberish at me – was this French? or Chinese? – pointing here and there, so I turned around to look what he was pointing at, and when I turned back, he was gone. Well, that’s probably for the best.

ANDROIA: This started quite well. I got a spare weapon that probably fits my secondary weapon skill, and I won a fight. So I learned already something. Those fancy sci-fi people depend too much on their technology and energy weapons. They are no match for a night-elf lurking in the underbrush.

Unnamed District

CAPTAIN DANDY: What's that saying? 'Well begun is half-done'? This game is very well-begun indeed. There wasn't much I needed at the Fertilizer-Horn - sorry, Cornucopia. The only really useful thing was a satchel of food crystals. Why that cheerful agent wanted it, I shan't even begin to guess, but I emerged victorious.

I have had the feeling someone's been following me today, though. I don't recognize their mind, but they have a trace of the Tiger Lily about them - perhaps one of her agents? Or just someone she encountered in the Arena... well, being a Flower in a chamber full of plants has its advantages; I'm certain I can shake them off.

THE TIGER LILY: Field report #1. Physical combat isn't as easy as it feels. Agent Supernumerary has a possible habit of assaulting Flowers - he attacked me, and I noted him stalking the Weed. I have been keeping half my mind on him, while also observing Agent Gall - contact between the two of them has been noted before, and it is possible they share similar proclivities. I will continue to monitor and report.

Corolla & Zeb, Day 1

[Sergio’s comments for the day: I didn’t put that event in with such an usage in mind. Hell, I put that in BEFORE I ever thought about adding Luxury to the roster! RNG is scary. At the end of the document is the full feed from the Generator - I tried to pick out the best, as currently we have too many people to track them all.

P.S. I don’t know what Rina thinks about it, but Corolla riding Zeb in battle as they mow down everything with lightnings and magic darts sounds AWESOME.]

As the tributes stand on their podiums, the horn sounds.

James runs away from the Cornucopia.

Nume rips a mace out of Tiger Lily's hands.

Farilan runs away from the Cornucopia.

Marina runs away from the Cornucopia.

Richard runs away from the Cornucopia.

Nat rips a mace out of Ave's hands.

Gremlin breaks Morgan's nose for a basket of bread.

Library runs away from the Cornucopia.

Gerry grabs a shield leaning on the cornucopia.

The Doktor runs away from the Cornucopia.

Alleb runs away from the Cornucopia.

Za'kiir finds a bag full of explosives.

Zeb runs away from the Cornucopia.

JF, Mia, and Ilraen get into a fight. JF triumphantly kills them both.

Xericka falls into a pit and dies.

Nikki runs away from the Cornucopia.

Lux finds a canteen full of water.

Dafydd runs away from the Cornucopia.

Derik runs away from the Cornucopia.

Michael runs away from the Cornucopia.

Gall scares HG away from the cornucopia.

Jesse runs away from the Cornucopia.

Henry runs away from the Cornucopia.

Rayson runs away from the Cornucopia.

Algie runs away from the Cornucopia.

Sergio runs away from the Cornucopia.

Androia takes a sickle from inside the cornucopia.

Harris runs away from the Cornucopia.

Dr. Fitzgerald runs away from the Cornucopia.

Alex runs away from the Cornucopia.

Tacitus finds a bag full of explosives.

Yakov scares Corolla away from the cornucopia.

Laura grabs a shovel.

Gaspard runs away from the Cornucopia.

Selene grabs a jar of fishing bait while Wobbles gets fishing gear.

Colt runs away with a lighter and some rope.

Kaitlyn runs away from the Cornucopia.

Lola finds a bag full of explosives.

Aiko and Captain Dandy fight for a bag. Aiko gives up and retreats.

Day 1

Tiger Lily stalks Gall.

Nat injures herself.

Androia ambushes Nikki and kills her.

Kaitlyn picks flowers.

Marina overhears Selene and Jesse talking in the distance.

Henry questions his sanity.

Nume stalks Captain Dandy.

Corolla and Zeb work together for the day.

Michael and Algie split up to search for resources.

Harris collects fruit from a tree.

Rayson overhears Aiko and Colt talking in the distance.

Laura discovers a cave.

Dr. Fitzgerald fishes.

Derik explores the arena.

Gremlin questions her sanity.

Morgan diverts The Doktor's attention and runs away.

Dafydd camouflauges himself in the bushes.

Gaspard diverts HG's attention and runs away.

Library stalks Za'kiir.

Gerry makes a wooden spear.

Lux checks her equipment.

Alleb picks flowers.

Ave discovers a cave.

Yakov searches for firewood.

Sergio fishes.

Richard goes hunting.

Tacitus searches for a water source.

Wobbles makes a slingshot.

Farilan injures herself.

Alex chases JF.

Lola is pricked by thorns while picking berries.

James explores the arena.


Day 2

AYA and KUROKO: Welcome back to the PPC HQ Hunger Games, everyone!

AYA: The night was rather uneventful, with the only violent event being Aiko Kimura destroying Luxury’s supplies - did she see something inconvenient in there?

KUROKO: I don’t know, but speaking of supplies... Wobbles found the first of our supply crates! I wonder what she found in it?

AYA: The rest of the players were mainly trying to rest for the night - some cooked some food, while others managed to find some company.

KUROKO: Finding someone to sleep in shift with is a very important tactic. You can’t fight back if you’re asleep, after all.

AYA: The events of the day seem to have hit Sergio hard, though. The former SpecOps Agent just kept having a nightmare after another.

KUROKO: Everyone would, after finding their girlfriend’s mangled body in the woods. Aviator didn’t get a good night sleep, too - she spent quite a bit crying.

AYA: Can’t blame her, though - that Time War was a nasty affair. The Games must be bringing back bad memories to the both of them. Anyways, let’s see how everyone’s faring!

KUROKO: Alex’s courage turned out to be foolhardiness, as Selene proved to be more than he could chew.

AYA: Everyone else seems to be doing rather fine, and…

An alarm sounds three times.

AYA: Already? Well, seems that our producers thought that it was too much of a slow start, as we already have an Arena Event! See you later for updates!

AYA and KUROKO, wearing swimsuits, are sitting on a rock. The whole area around them is flooded.

KUROKO: Welcome back!

AYA: The Arena Event that has been triggered is the Single Tears Flood. What you can see around us isn’t normal water - every single drop of it is a Single Tear of Sue-level potency.

KUROKO: It goes without saying that drinking it or staying in it too long causes a lethal level of despair.

AYA: As some of the players have noticed, as there’s quite a bit of deliberate poisoning going on. Zeb, Luxury, Tacitus, Supernumerary and Selene all took advantage of it, and so we’re saying goodbye to Marina, Yakov, Androia, Gaspard and Aiko.

KUROKO: Looks like Tacitus robbed Sergio of his revenge. However, there are more casualties happening: Dr. Fitzgerald, Colt, Harris and Farilan all drowned.

AYA: Should we count the latter as Rayson’s kill? She was running away from him, after all.

KUROKO: I’m afraid the rules say no. The Kerbal’s choice of a Telus telescopic ladder as his weapon doesn’t sound that stupid now, though.

The camera pans on RAYSON, who waves at it. The Kerbal had pinned his ladder in the ground, and is sitting on it well above the water level.

AYA: A couple mercy-kills happened too. Gremlin found the Tiger Lily writhing in pain, and ended her sufferings.

KUROKO: She likely had absorbed some of the Tears through her roots. We’re not sure how the same happened to Gall - but Morgan was quick to stop her pains. Permanently.

AYA: Oh, right, I was forgetting! There were some umbrellas left around right before the flood, and some Agents tried to use them to avoid Single Tear splashes - too bad they were boobytrapped.

KUROKO: The arena is set to hit every opened umbrella with lightning, something the Captain Dandy, Alleb and Doktor Trollenfisch learned the hard way. I wonder if the producers are becoming trolls?

AYA: I don’t know, but sure they can’t be blamed for Michael and Richard’s demises. Both accidentally ran down a cliff while they were too busy trying to understand what was going on.

KUROKO: And here’s the cannons! Seventeen players have been eliminated today, sixteen of which during the Arena Event.

AYA: So far, not District has been eliminated completely, but several have only one player left. And that’s it for today! The PPC HQ Hunger Games will be back tomorrow, only on Nutmeg TV!

AYA and KUROKO bump their shoulders, and “shoot” the camera with their hands in gun shape.

AYA and KUROKO: See you next death!

Clips of the players speaking are shown.

District Huinesoron

DAFYDD: Stealth is... not working out so well. Turns out that some of the handy camoflaguing plants? Toxic. I'm a Noldo, I'm not supposed to get infected. Ugh. Good thing I remembered a decent healing song.

That still didn't mean I wanted to tangle with a mace-wielding Supernumerary. I had to run (well, stumble) for higher ground - which turned out to be a good thing, since I got to sit out the flood from the comfort of a treetop. I don't think the others were as lucky...

KAITLYN: Some meanie stole my mushrooms. I found some in a cave this morning, and was going to fry them up for dinner, but someone made off with them! I kind of hope whoever it was died in the flooding - is that wrong of me? I'd ask Alleb what she thinks, but I saw her get struck by lightning during the flood.

Wait... lightning? I hope that wasn't Selene at work...

SELENE: You know what would be nice? Not getting lost in the night. I'm a vampire, I should be able to navigate easily!

Since the presenters said before we started that our powers would be 'reduced', and since Wobbles wandered off during the day, I spent today testing my other abilities. Transformation is gone, but I still have my strength: I took out a DoSAT tech pretty easily. (Which gave me flashbacks to the DIA harassing me about Makes-Things, but I digress). And the flooding let me test out my persuasiveness - whoever that girl was, she accepted the water without question.

I wonder if I can find Wobbles again? It was good to have someone to listen to and keep my mind off things.

Not hungry yet.

MORGAN: At least my nose is better. But I haven't slept. The girl with no hair has it out for me, I'm sure - she showed up with (of all people) Dr. Fitzgerald in tow to attack my camp, and I was up half the night fending them off with a stick. Then when I tried to sleep through the morning, some sort of Dark Elf lunatic dual-wielding a sickle and a staff decided to attack me. Do I have a target painted on my collar or something?

Focus, Morgan, focus. But it's so hard when there's all this stuff going on. I had to kill one agent just to shut her up, during the flood.

Ugh. I need a drink.

District Newbie

MARINA: The vampire didn't try anything so I found myself with only me and nightmares about the night the Fomors ruined my life. Soo much fun. Then this Luxray was coming around for me, so I ran away. Lightning are really bad for health. Then there is this strange flood from 'Single Tears' and I manage to steal his canteen while his back is turned...Now I know these tears are, at least. Must be that way Skavis' victims feel. Losing now is a bit disappointing, but at least, I found a perfect ingredient for potions. Seeing Sue killing themselves because of their cheap despair seems a pretty interesting idea, and someone just signed in for being a test subject...

RICHARD: All was going so well. I had a rather remote position where I could wait for the worst of the killing to pass, and where to carry the loot from the crates — Staff played too much Worms in my opinion when this happened. Single Tears everywhere, lightning, mass murder... By the time I collected myself I had dropped from this ducking cliff. Losing like this feels really bad, and Marina is out too, talking about using Single Tears as a basis for potion. And the way she's looking at Zeb gives me chills…

HENRY: By all the authors, that Arena Event was really brutal! I mean, a flood made entirely of Single Tears, really!? That's too brutal and underhanded even for this sort of thing. And it seems that Aiko and the other agents that were part of my District got taken out during that horfible mes, too. When I said that I didn't want to fight them, I didn't quite mean something like that, but I guess that's what I get for tempting the Ironic Overpower like that.

AIKO: What was I thinking!? No really, what was I thinking!? Even from the little I learned about these Games beforehand, I should have know that they wouldn't throw drinkable water in there. I should have been suspicious when that woman offered me that canteen, but she seemed so nice and as it turns out, really persuasive. Oh well. Looks like Henry is alone in there. Let's how he fares next.

District Neshomeh

NUME: God damn, what a day. The Game Makers have gotten a lot more sadistic since last time. *shudder* Still, I made the most of it. Everyone knows my flask is full of Bleepka, so naturally the kid drank from it. Sorry, kid, but them's the breaks.

Hm? Oh, yeah, met the girl my partner's been mooning over last night. Typical Andalite, really. Not surprised she didn't last long.

DERIK: As I said, knowing the Arena proved to be a major asset. I knew exactly where to go when the flooding started.

I was hoping to sleep next to a fire last night, but I picked the wrong person to approach. Lesson learned.

I did briefly run into Gremlin, but she hadn't seen Gall, either. It's a shame she went out before I had a chance to find her, but I hope she's learned something.

GALL: Motherf*****! That was a cheap, dirty trick! Gremlin, you better win this now, and if you see my partner, kick his ass for me!

District Corolla

COROLLA: Poor Harris, I spent all night patching him up and then he died today. Well, luckily I found a rather safe cave while going around with Zeb - it saved our lives during the Arena Event. Zeb's also got a kill - a rather cheaty one, in my opinion, but anything goes here.

SERGIO: Well, I guess that Chinese saying, “If you wait by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by”, has its truth. While I was perched up on a tree to avoid the flood, I saw Androia's body floating in the water. Should thank that Tacitus guy for that. Hopefully, there will be no nightmares tonight.

RAYSON: I'm alive! I managed to get that Andalite on the run with some Telus-fu, then she drowned and I didn't! I love my ladder.

District Scapegrace

WOBBLES THE CLOWN: Soooooo last night was pretty fun! I built a new play house out of mud and leaves and some sculpting balloons from the supply chest near the spot I picked and I got a good night's sleep, which is really super important because you've got to be on your toesies around a bunch of sleep-deprived professional exterminators and that one guy from Building Maintenance who might have died already, I can't remember. But today was... kind of bad from a me-perspective because a whole bunch of people died of being horribly poisoned by Sueness and/or lightning bolts, and that gave me a whole lot of uncomfortable flashbacks, but my new buddy Gremlin was really super-nice about it and we talked about cartoons and stuff and wow do I ever have to get Young Justice syndicated for the show one of these days, prolly in the fall slot when we run out of Steven Multiverse from that weird Time Lord dimension. Gotta go, the playhouse awaits! =oD

DOKTOR TROLLENFISCH: ... I am beink ein fried Trollenfisch at zer moment. However, zer exercise vas interestink in ze extreme, und it ist alvays nice to get out of zer Responsezentrum for zer stretchink of zer fins, ja? Besides, zer important think ist zat I acqwitted myself vell, despite zer strange happeninks last night vherein I grew hands und held zem vizz somevun I have never met. If zhere ist ein Egg, I hope zer IVs vill be perfect for vhatever Hidden Power zer offsprink ends up usink. Und Gabrielle? A Very Potter Sequel ist on zer cards for vhen I am gettink home!

FIELD COMMANDER LOLA McCANDLESS: Well, so far I've been putting stuff to good use, just surviving and working things out as best I can. I set up a watch pattern with Androia, who is... really, really dead now, thanks to the local outbreak of poisoning that happened during the event, but I haven't been able to track him down and blow him up. No kills so far. Saving things for the inevitable bloody showdown.

ALGERNON, 7TH EARL WYMBOURNE: My efforts to appease the spirit of the Holodeck have alas been in vain, leaving me rather more sleep-deprived than I had hoped. This has led me to sustain gashes on my hands while hunting for berries and, well, my request for a steady source of water with which to scry the movements of my opponents was met in a rather less pleasant fashion than expected. One has to wonder if this is the right course of action... but then, what other course do I have? A lingering death, perhaps... or a swift one, spurred on by the Holodeck's seeming-endless depths of spite. One thing's for certain, though; I will seek out any former residents of the so-called "grimdark" canons for perspective on this matter. Their stoicism in the face of such unrelenting hate has much to teach me, and will no doubt be a comfort in my future career as a Special Response Officer.

District Cynic

LAURA: Seventeen deaths in one day? F***ing hell! At that rate, there's not going to be anyone left to fight! I don't think whoever designed that special event with the Single Tears did any proper testing. They gotta nerf that for next year. I also had to abandon that cave I found to avoid drowning. On the plus side, though, I found some food before the Sue-ish flood waters rolled in. Down one shelter, up some sustenance.

JAMES: It was good a thing I've been scouting out the arena. I knew the perfect place to take shelter once that Single Tear flood began. You know, discountin' all the agents trying to hunt me down, the lethal weather, and the fact that the scenery is made in a computer, it's actually pretty nice out here. Reminds me of when I when I was in the Boy Scouts. Once this is over, I think I'll try to organize a non-mission camping trip somewhere.

GREMLIN: Once again, my life is a ta ma de roller coaster. Sure, I didn't manage to swipe any supplies from that Time Lady whose nose I broke, but Wobbles was nice enough to share some stuff with me. We ended up scouting around together for most of the day. Well, I was scouting; she was doing stunts and impressions. I thought the constant high-energy thing was a performance she put on as part of her Nursery program. Nope. She's like that in real life too.

We got separated by the flood, which is when I found the Tiger Lily. She had been poisoned by the Single Tears, that was clear enough. Her petals were turning brown and she kept muttering to herself, talking to people and Flowers who weren't there.

Just leaving her there to suffer felt wrong. So… I did the only thing I could.

And, as a nice little s*** cherry on top of my sundae, I just found out that Gall didn't make it. F***. We had made a deal before this whole thing started. If our partners died before we did, the two of us would team up to clear the board before squaring off in one final showdown. Loser would have paid for the first three rounds at Rudi's. It was gonna be awesome!

Yeah… awesome.

I am rapidly running out of friends.

Maybe I'll go harass that Time Lady again. Seeing her panic and flail about again might cheer me up.

District Sea Turtle

TACITUS: Alas, my collaboration with the good Captain, De Grasse, and this Jesse guy has come to an abrupt end. I lost the first one to a booby-trapped umbrella, the second one was too dumb to live, and I can't find Jesse anymore. Oh well.

Poisoned an agent with the Singe Tear water. You wouldn't believe the face she made when she finally realized what she had just chugged down. Sure, the Tears are diluted with some anti-Glitter medication or something, but it looked like it burnt on the way down.

Before his elimination, Captain Dandy sent me to chase after the Tiger Lily. Grass/Psychic against Dark types? That's a matchup that I can easily win. I decided to scare her away using an Illusion of an Emboar. You should've seen the face she made when she turned on her roots and ran for it. I left her to be-- I believe Agent Gremlin finished her off.

So-- onwards and upwards. Let's see if I can make it through another night.

YAKOV: Aw, shucks. That's the last time I'll accept a drink from Luxury. Y'know, I thought the canteen smelled a little off. That's what I git from drinkin' anythin' right after the showrunners decided to flood the Holodeck with a poision!

Burnt like Firewhiskey on the way down. Bleh. I'll go and rinse out my mouth at Rudi's with Gaspard and Harris-- but after the former has had a swing at Harris. Don't wanna get in between that.

HARRIS: Mother Nature is a force to be reckoned with! I really didn't stand a chance when the flood came in. I tried holding on to a nearby tree but that didn't do me much good, eh? I gotta say-- they really went for the realism angle in this thing. That sharp rock I slammed against was really, really hard. Ow.

...so I hear Gaspard got eliminated as well? Oh, I'll have to find him then. I need to know if he liked playing in the Gam--"

[Offscreen, to the left] "HARRIS!"

Oh, there he is. Hey, Gaspard. How--

[Offscreen, closer] ""You have three seconds to run before I come over there and punch you."

Oh, come on, man. It was a harmless prank. Wait, no, stop right there, don't come into the shot!

[Camera cuts as Gaspard steps into the frame, swinging]

GASPARD: Got him.

District Alleb

MICHAEL: Algeron stayed up all last night and kept mumbling to himself; I didn't get a bit of sleep. We split up, and I went to practice with this bow I found, when whoosh! everything's flooded. This big wave came down a hill behind me, and I started to run away, but... I fell off a cliff. Mia'll never let me hear the end of this.

JESSE: I miss Kansas. I was yoked together with a [censored] plant. A [censored] plant! Leastways the other two was decent. I went off to hunt; wasn't sure how, with a revolver, but I was itchin' for some meat, when a big 'ole rain came a-thunderin' down. I scrambled up a pine and stayed their like a treed coon till I could see the ground again. Don't know where them other three are; don't particularly care, neither. I'm after some possum.

ALLEB: The Doktor seemed nice, although he was... rather hard to understand. I think he liked me...? Anyway, I went to search for some firewood, when the sky dumped practically a full year's worth of water on me! Tears, apparently. How poetic. I opened up an umbrella I'd found, and then I was struck by lightning! What are the chances of that? I am rather sad that I did not survive longer, but at the same time it is good to be out of that game. It isn't a very pleasant sport.

District Nine

ALEX: Aw man... and here I thought I might be able to win this... Ah well. If I can't, Ave had better kick everyone's butts!

FARILAN: Well, I must say, that Supernumerary fellow is actually rather interesting, for a human. Even if he is rude.

I don't care that I was eliminated early—what, me? Swim? You can't be serious!—since I can continue my observations remotely. It's not the same as being in the midst of the action, but you do what you have to do.

ZEB: *grimaces* I still feel kind of bad about giving that guy the Single Tears water... but if I don't start taking people out now, that's just more for me to fight later. Sorry, whoever you were.

THE AVIATOR: *glares* So what if I cried myself to sleep? That's not any news, so [CENSORED] off you [CENSORED].

Single Tear? [CENSORED], please. Considering I was at a twenty percent glitter level last I checked, all that did was cause my tracker shackle to go haywire. It's gonna take a lot more than angst to kill me. Time Lord, remember? If you could harness our angst, you could power the [CENSORED] multiverse with it.

District Flame

COLT: You're kidding me! I mean sure, I got a bit banged up last night, but drowning! That's no fair. Did work with that one Time Lord that crashed into the fountain a bit back to find others before that, though.

LIBRARY: I had an interesting encounter during the night, but... I'm beginning to question how good an idea doing this was. This is terrible.

GERRY: Figures that Colt wouldn't last. They're starting to make this brutal- Single Tears? Eugh. I'm lucky I didn't have an attack.

JF: A-hunting we will go a-huuunting weee will gooooooo~~

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

HIERONYMUS: This Viking girl isn’t too bad, actually. Totally unreasonable, though. Came out she never intended to smash my skull with this mace. She was looking for someone to cover her back, and apparently I’m looking the least backstabbingly dangerous here. So we talked all night, she doing most of the talking. It’s sad that she wanted to go fish then. Without any fishing gear. And not even knowing where’s a river or lake. Quite irrational, really. Had she gone with me, up the hill, where I found my cave ... Nah, it’s probably better so. She would have continued talking my ear off, and I wouldn’t have found any sleep. So I was really lucky there. When I woke up, everything was wet outside. The flood must have gone right up to the threshold. Had I seen it, I would probably have tried to taste the liquid. Now I’m really thirsty. I must find some water soon.

ANDROIA: This had begun so well. I even found a companion, one Field Commander Lola McCandless of the Special Response Division. She reminds me of my partner, so very rational and focused. And then it all went down.

Lesson number two learned: Time Lords lie. I had to scare her off our camp. Alas, I may have been a bit too convincing there. Apparently Lola ran away, too.

Lesson number three learned: Those ‘Sue-things must be even more dangerous than I thought; even their tears are poison.

Am I allowed to curse here? No? Okay then. Lesson number four learned: Do not trust the spies? Do not trust foxes? I will withhold my judgement until I get more experience.

Unnamed District

CAPTAIN DANDY: Now, that just wasn't fair. I did everything right - assembling a team from the Sub Rosa's spies to work together at night, encouraging Tacitus to go after the Tiger Lily (I know she's watching me), gathering limbs to keep my allies warm. And then what happens? A flood of Single Tears. I, of course, stay out of their reach, but the umbrella would have been useful to my allies.

Except for the lightning. That was not so useful.

THE TIGER LILY: Final field report: Agent Supernumerary displayed agressive tendencies towards multiple agents. Agent Gall appears not to be an issue. Agent Tacitus clearly singled out myself for attack. Agent Gremlin a confirmed Flower-killer. I do not approve of the underhanded tactics used by the game designers; they should be monitored. I am leaving now.

Za'kiir & Zeb, Night 1

[Sergio’s comments for the day: Well, I was wondering why there were so little deaths so far, and then the Arena Event kicked in. Everything’s on schedule, folks!]

Night 1

Nat looks at the night sky.

JF tends to her wounds.

Sergio is awoken by nightmares.

Colt tends to his wounds.

Library and Henry tell stories about themselves to each other.

Selene loses sight of where she is.

Morgan fends Dr. Fitzgerald, Derik, and Gremlin away from her fire.

Algie stays awake all night.

Kaitlyn starts a fire.

Marina is awoken by nightmares.

Gall and HG talk about the tributes still alive.

Richard cooks his food before putting his fire out.

Alex is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth.

Farilan and Nume tell stories about themselves to each other.

James looks at the night sky.

Yakov screams for help.

Gaspard, Tacitus, Captain Dandy, and Jesse sleep in shifts.

Alleb and The Doktor hold hands.

Wobbles realizes there's a supply crate near her camp

Dafydd tries to treat his infection.

Gerry cooks his food before putting his fire out.

Laura tries to sing herself to sleep.

Za'kiir and Zeb hold hands.

Ave cries herself to sleep.

Corolla tends to Harris's wounds.

Tiger Lily goes to sleep.

Lola and Androia sleep in shifts.

Michael and Rayson sleep in shifts.

Aiko destroys Lux's supplies while she is asleep.

Day 2

Gremlin and Wobbles work together for the day.

Zeb attacks Marina, but she manages to escape.

Laura collects fruit from a tree.

Algie is pricked by thorns while picking berries.

Yakov steals from Kaitlyn while she isn't looking.

Richard constructs a shack.

Nat makes a wooden spear.

Za'kiir constructs a shack.

The Doktor runs away from Henry.

JF goes hunting.

Farilan runs away from Rayson.

Lola explores the arena.

Ave and Colt hunt for other tributes.

Corolla discovers a cave.

HG discovers a cave.

Library questions her sanity.

Derik sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.

Gaspard makes a slingshot.

Androia scares Morgan off.

Alleb searches for firewood.

Sergio makes a wooden spear.

Nume scares Dafydd off.

Tiger Lily sprains her ankle while running away from Tacitus.

Jesse goes hunting.

Captain Dandy searches for firewood.

Selene severely injures Alex, but puts him out of his misery.

Gall fishes.

Dr. Fitzgerald tries to spear fish with a trident.

Gerry sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.

Lux travels to higher ground.

Aiko sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.

Harris fishes.

James explores the arena.

Michael practices his archery.

Arena Event

The Arena is flooded with water collected from Single Tears.

Zeb gives a canteen full of Single Tears to Marina, who mistakes it for water and drinks it

Dr. Fitzgerald succumbs to the despair and drowns.

Derik survives.

Gremlin finds Tiger Lily curled up in pain and mercy-kills her.

Colt succumbs to the despair and drowns.

Za'kiir survives.

Captain Dandy opens an umbrella, only to be struck by lightning.

Alleb opens an umbrella, only to be struck by lightning.

Kaitlyn survives.

Wobbles survives.

Michael, too distracted by the weird situation, fails to notice a cliff and falls off it.

HG survives.

Lola survives.

Laura survives.

Nume gives a canteen full of Single Tears to Gaspard, who mistakes it for water and drinks it

Lux gives a canteen full of Single Tears to Yakov, who mistakes it for water and drinks it

Jesse survives.

Tacitus gives a canteen full of Single Tears to Androia, who mistakes it for water and drinks it

JF survives.

Rayson survives.

Dafydd survives.

Gerry survives.

Sergio survives.

Nat survives.

Harris succumbs to the despair and drowns.

The Doktor opens an umbrella, only to be struck by lightning.

Ave survives.

Corolla survives.

Farilan succumbs to the despair and drowns.

Morgan finds Gall curled up in pain and mercy-kills her.

James survives.

Selene gives a canteen full of Single Tears to Aiko, who mistakes it for water and drinks it

Algie survives.

Richard, too distracted by the weird situation, fails to notice a cliff and falls off it.

Library survives.

Henry survives.

17 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.


Day 3

AYA: Welcome back to the third edition of the PPC HQ Hunger Games!

KUROKO: This night has been much more eventful than the previous ones. Wobbles’ attempt to take down Library didn’t go so well - Calpurnia had allied with Morgan, who apparently doesn’t find clowns funny at all.

AYA: And Gremlin pinned down Natalie with sais.

KUROKO: Someone must’ve fed the Bad Slasher after midnight.

AYA: There have been two more fights, but in both cases the winner decided to spare the loser.

KUROKO: Aviator didn’t seem too willing to put down Za’kiir for good, and Hieronymus Graubart seemed to be thinking the same about Gerry.

AYA: Selene seemed to be crying before falling asleep - but we aren’t buying that.

KUROKO: She seems to be fond of deceiving her opponents, after all. Luxury, instead seems to be at it as usual.

AYA: The Automated Even Feed says that she convinced Tacitus to “snuggle” with her... we hope it’s just snuggling to share heat.

KUROKO: Anyways, now that the sun is up we’re likely going to see more…

AYA: Whoa! That must’ve hurt.

KUROKO: Indeed. Gremlin’s killing spree comes to an end - thanks to a boobytrapped supply crate.

AYA: The content of the crates is randomized upon opening, and one of the possible results is a triggered explosive satchel. Speaking of killing sprees, JF’s ended too.

KUROKO: James managed to pull an impressive knife throw, taking her out of the game.

AYA: His partner doesn’t seem to have the same luck, though - Laura just found a nice pit.

KUROKO: Seems that District Cynic is pretty fond of those.

AYA: There seems to be also a rather weird partnership going on - Selene received help from Sergio to drown Jesse.

KUROKO: I think he just realized that helping Jesse would’ve gotten him fried by lightning... there is no way to escape those while wading in a river.

KUROKO: The fight between Kaitlyn and Derik ended up with yet another life spared - Derik must’ve felt lucky that Kaitlyn doesn’t seem to have much of a killing instinct.

AYA: Indeed. With this, the deaths of the day are six: Natalie, Wobbles, Laura, JF, Jesse and Gremlin.

KUROKO: Let’s have a look at how the districts are faring: currently leading the “players survived” ladder is District Huinesoron, with five kills and no casualties taken.

AYA: We have three kills for Selene and two for Morgan. Pretty impressive.

KUROKO: Second place is District Corolla. They lost Nikki very early in the game, but the other three are playing well, with Sergio getting a kill today.

AYA: The other districts are pretty close, with one or two players still in the game and zero to one kill to the survivors’ credit.

KUROKO: Last place is confirmed for District Alleb. Its players have all been eliminated, with none of them scoring kills.

AYA: WIth this, today’s report ends. See you tomorrow at the PPC HQ Hunger Games, only on Nutmeg TV!

AYA and KUROKO bump their shoulders, and “shoot” the camera with their hands in gun shape.

AYA and KUROKO: See you next death!

Clips of the players speaking are shown.

District Huinesoron

DAFYDD: Last night I met a girl who was fire. She's dead now, which wasn't my fault. Well... mostly not.

After the flood, I decided stealth wasn't really much of an option any more. I put together a team of the useful skilled survivors I could track down - Supernumerary (well, I know he's dangerous), a fairy-sized woman, an intimidating man with a gun, and the aforementioned girl who was fire.

We slept in shifts - two up, three down, to stop one of us going rogue. I... may have manipulated the schedules to let me stare at talk to the fire. I mean girl. Whatever.

But... well, things didn't go well for her this morning. Turns out the intimidating man? He wasn't really into the whole 'team' thing. He threw a knife into her chest, and bang, down she went. Given that Supernumerary had run off after that Time Lady, the fairy technician and I split up.

I did manage to fend off a cat-person of some description by myself, which was a plus (teeth and claws - yikes), but I think I might go back to stealth mode again...

KAITLYN: Camp last night was lonely. Turns out, Alleb and the Doktor? The flood got both of them. Rubbish, right? So I was all by myself. Good thing I kept hold of my firelighter... oh! Then today I ran into a guy who looked just like the Phantom of the Opera. I had to fight him - that's what the game's about, right? - but I couldn't bring myself to kill him.

Still no more mushrooms. Consoling myself by humming The Music of the Night.

SELENE: Not a good day. Tried to set up camp with Wobbles, but she insisted on going hunting. She attacked a harmless-looking agent (as in, 'easy target'), but then this Time Lady came out of nowhere and killed her.

I cried.

Then as if the Arena wanted to rub it in, Jesse - my other teammate... look, I don't want to talk about it. I had to kill him; that's all.

Alone now.

MORGAN: Today was a good day. Last night I ran into a weird quirk of the Arena - killer clowns. I thought the game-makers were only going to use natural monsters? Ah, well. Rescued Agent Library from it, so that was me safe for the night.

Then after daybreak I teamed up with Tacitus - a Spy. We hunted together, but everyone's gotten fairly canny about staying out of sight. Still, it means one more person who vaguely trusts me.

Still not sure whether I should seek out the Aviator. She's a Council member now - but would I trust any of the rest of them to be allies in here? Mm, no, don't think so. Still, it's worth considering.

District Newbie

HENRY: Today went rather well for me. I'm still in the running and no one has attacked me so far. I meet this wise looking old guy and he seemed pretty nice. Although he did tell me that I shouldn't have signed up for this and he asked something a 'mystical river'. That last part was pretty weurd.

District Neshomeh

NUME: Ran into Dafydd again last night. I don't think much of his choice of companions, but once they'd found me, it was either go along or lose sleep running or fighting. I went along. Lucky for me, that cowboy saved me the trouble of figuring out how to take out the girl who blew up my partner.

After that, the rest of us split up, which is just as well. I caught sight of Rina—the Aviator, whatever—and I'm thinking about resurrecting last year's alliance. She doesn't look too stable at the moment, though, so I'm keeping my distance for now. Wouldn't want to stick my neck out only to have her take my head off.

DERIK: I could wish everyone weren't so obsessed with my face. I was a dragonman and a harper, not some madman in a mask. Maybe, if I can get my hands on a piece of wire, I can make themregret the comparison...

As long as they don't come up on my blind side first. I suppose I'm grateful that my appearance made that girl spare my life. She got that damn song stuck in my head, though. For that alone, I won't spare her if we meet again.

District Corolla

COROLLA: Ive manages to find a nice group to spend the night with, and in the morning I made myself a slingshot. Sure, my Moonlight Dagger spell has a higher rate of fire, but the damage is... meh.

Well, a slingshot isn't that better, but I am nowhere near big enough to wield a bow.

SERGIO: Derik and Lola looked like alright guys, but the latter's wanting to avenge Androia. Sorry girl, I'm having none of it. If you try to blow up the guy who avenged Nikki, you're getting a bullet through the head, understood?

While I was fishing I ran into that Selene girl trying to drown a cowboy. Which one to attack, the lightning-shooting vampire or the dude armed with a revolver? I had no doubts. Electricity hurts, and the other dude had a revolver. Barbarian.

RAYSON: That 7th Earl didn't want to kill me. It's good. I found a nice vantage point, which means it will be harder to people to get to me and kill me.

District Scapegrace

WOBBLES THE CLOWN: Oh, darn. I thought ya hadda have a kill-count in this thing and look where it got me! I went for that nice Library person who was like super nice but I couldn't remember where she worked for so we tussled for a while but then, well, then one of the Time Grump's friends came over and I tried to explain but she ended up garrotting me with my own tightrope wire. Oh well. I hope she got the supplies I'd stored, and, um... Morgan? If you're listening? I made some balloon flowers for Kaitlyn after what we talked about, so, uh, if you could... if you could make sure she gets them I'd really appreciate it.

FIELD COMMANDER LOLA McCANDLESS: Today's been quiet. Scouting operations went well, and with a lot of people being killed during the night it might pay well to monitor any alliances. So I spent time last night telling war stories from my time on the COM with Derik, who used to be -- get this -- the Phantom of the friggin' Opera, and Sergio, who I believe still is Italian. Reminds me of an Assault from back in the Mountain, actually. Might look him up later. Anyway, come the morning, I noticed Henry and HG over by what remained of the lake. I've still got the bombs, but there wasn't really an opportune moment and my throwing arm's still not brilliant from where that Stone Knight of Angarling broke it last month so I left them to it.

ALGERNON, 7TH EARL WYMBOURNE: My attempts to cajole the Holodeck into compliance with my wishes have so far met with total disdain. However, there is a sense of camaraderie that I am finding most conducive to a calm environment, even when we are flooded out with Suvian poisons; for instance, just last night I was sharing stories with a genuine astronaut, one mister Rayson Kerman of the Kerbal Space Program universe. The advances of science and technology are things that interest me immensely, and I only hope my own tales of life at Perenelle as a moderately-skilled practical magician were to his liking.

District Cynic

JAMES: I wasn't sure what to make of that temporary nighttime alliance at first. Didn't really seem to fit the intent of this here game. But I eventually decided to just run with it. I had no idea where Laura was at the time, so having someone watch my back while I slept — even relative strangers — seemed like a decent idea.

Sure went to hell the next morning, though. That burnin' woman tried to follow me, talkin' about teaming up. No way. I had seen the damage she'd done at the Cornucopia. That wasn't exactly conducive to my overall strategy. She insisted. I decided to make my rebuttal sharp and to the point.

Laura's gone now. So's that Bad Slash team that we were grouped with. I'm all on my own. It's time to buckle down and focus.

GREMLIN: You know what? Blowing up was probably for the best. I will totally admit to going a little loopy from stress there. I found some sais — might have been from one of the agents that drowned in the tear flood — then I found that DMS agent, and… well, I got stabby. That didn't improve things

I was just so out of it that I didn't even notice what was up with the supply crate. I could feel some sort of electrical system attached to the inside of it, but I just brushed it off. KABOOM! I'm out of the game.

Ugh. I'm going to Rudi's. Then I'm going to go sleep in my own bed.

LAURA: [Agent Duke's comments about her elimination from play were deemed too explicit to publicize.]

District Sea Turtle

TACITUS: I like my fur. It's a beautiful shade of dark grey and is as soft as a delicate silk cloth.

That is why when one of the PPC's most well-known taxidermists comes up to you and asks to use you as a pillow, you don't question it. You lie down and pretend that you're a pillow. And, when the sun comes back up and she has her back turned, you grab some of her supplies, try to claw out her Achilles tendon (a pity I missed), and run for your life.

Later on I was recruited by Agent Morgan and assisted her on a hunt. We stumbled on Wobbles attacking Library-- I let Morgan do the wetwork. No point in risking my 'life' for nothing.

My chances of winning? Slim, at best. There are too many high-powered agents left on the field. Firstly, the two Time Ladies: Morgan and Dives. Time Lords are inherently physically superior to all present-- I need to convince the other players to gang up on them. McCandless and Pittman are also major threats: their experiences as X-COM operatives makes them nearly as dangerous as the Gallifreyans. Wymbourne is a magic user. I have little to no information on how he weaponizes it-- if at all-- so I need to stay vigilant. And Zeb... suffice to say that if he can maul a Pokémon DIA agent in a one-on-one battle, he can easily win against a normal human.

Hopefully they'll start cutting each other down before they'll turn on me. I don't stand a chance in a head-on confrontation. I need poisons, I need explosives, I need ambushes... and everyone is keeping a close eye on the other. It's impossible to slip away undetected... or is it?

District Alleb

JESSE: *while wringing out shirt* I shoulda never signed up for this fool game.

District Alleb has been eliminated.

District Nine

ZEB: Not too much to say about today, really. Um, I'm still in the running, at least, so that's good, right?

THE AVIATOR: What? Just because I was in a war doesn't mean I'm going to be killing everyone I see. [CENSORED] you and [CENSORED] that idea. I was a glorified mailman, not a [VERYCENSORED] Dalek!

District Flame

LIBRARY: I nearly met my end during the night, though fortunately Agent Wobbles was stopped by Agent Morgan. I did, however, meet up with Zeb for a short period of time before we split up...

GERRY: Close shave with this one guy, though he didn't try to go through with it. Wish I could say the same for Lux's ideas... Ew.

JF: Nooooo ugh! I was having fun! With a lot of fire! Dumb knives.

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

HIERONYMUS: Walking around at night isn’t a good idea. I tripped over a guy who was sleeping under a shield, with a makeshift spear at his side. Fortunately, I managed to grab him before he could spear me, and I fought with teeth, claws and knees, until I realized that “he” is actually a “she”. So I let her get away. Can’t hit a woman, can I?

Near noon, this young Harry Potter healer-wizard approached me, very cautious and nervous, seeking the wise elderman’s advice. I’m afraid that he will lose it soon, but all I could say was that he shouldn’t have entered the game in the first place. He doesn’t know where this mythical river is, either.

NATALIE: I recognized the girl who killed me. Her name is Gremlin. Gremlin! The one character from "Sherlock" who spooked the charges out of me. Ironic Overpower, you must be laughing your head off...

ZA'KIIR: This one has learned a new lesson: Never underestimate a Time Lord. In all seriousness, they are quite strong, wise, and, well, "cheeky." But she is a true and skilled fighter. If she believed in the Nords' Sovngarde, she would most certainly join the Hall of the Ancestors and take her rightful place among the warriors of legend. But Mara cast her light, and the Aviator spared me. Thank Alkosh! But now I follow Sangiin once more. 

Unnamed District

Agent Luxury was not interviewed.

Luxury & Tacitus, Night 2

[Sergio’s comment of the day: Well, the first District bites the dust. I’m actually rather scared of how well Huinesoron’s district is going - five kills and everyone still in the game while the others suffered much more damage.]

Night 2

Jesse goes to sleep.

Zeb thinks about winning.

Dafydd, James, Nume, JF, and Corolla sleep in shifts.

Henry is awoken by nightmares.

Laura tries to treat her infection.

Lola, Derik, and Sergio discuss the games and what might happen in the morning.

Gremlin repeatedly stabs Nat to death with sais.

Lux convinces Tacitus to snuggle with her.

Kaitlyn sets up camp for the night.

Ave defeats Za'kiir in a fight, but spares his life.

HG defeats Gerry in a fight, but spares his life.

Rayson and Algie tell stories about themselves to each other.

Wobbles attacks Library, but Morgan protects her, killing Wobbles.

Selene cries herself to sleep.

Day 3

Nume stalks Ave.

Laura falls into a pit and dies.

James throws a knife into JF's chest.

Library and Zeb split up to search for resources.

Morgan and Tacitus hunt for other tributes.

Algie goes hunting.

Lux scares Gerry off.

Corolla makes a slingshot.

Za'kiir runs away from Dafydd.

Sergio and Selene work together to drown Jesse.

Lola overhears Henry and HG talking in the distance.

Gremlin finds a boobytrapped supply crate and dies in the ensuing explosion.

Rayson travels to higher ground.

Kaitlyn defeats Derik in a fight, but spares his life.


Day 4

AYA: Welcome back to the PPC HQ Hunger Games!

KUROKO: And hunger seems to be indeed a thing here, as James Pittman seems to have neglected eating.

AYA: With this, District Cynic is eliminated too - however, with James’ kill and Gremlin’s two we can say that they didn’t perform that badly.

KUROKO: Especially considering that environmental deaths take up a good chunk of the total.

AYA: Once the sun rose, though, we saw a lot more action: Derik got an impressive triple kill!

KUROKO: A well placed satchel charge can do wonders. Unfortunately, I don’t think Za’kiir, Zeb and Luxury will agree.

AYA: This also means that Corolla’s partnership with Zeb has been brought to an end, but the Unison Device doesn’t seem to have taken the news too badly.

KUROKO: Indeed. She staged a good assault against Tacitus, but he managed to escape. Zoruas aren’t that easy to catch, after all.

AYA: Rumors say that Corolla actually did try to catch him in a Pokeball.

KUROKO: But those aren’t in the weapon list, are they?

AYA: As far as I know, no. That’s why they’re just rumors, I guess.

KUROKO: Algernon is now chasing Hieronymus, but the latter seems to be faster. I don’t think the 7th Earl will actually manage to get the kill.

AYA: And Gerry doesn’t seem to have been able to catch Rayson either - Kerbals are rather small, after all.

KUROKO: The other players seem to be playing more tactically, either seeking new alliances or trying to undermine their opponents’ strengths.

AYA: Kaitlyn and Selene, in particular, stole gear from Dafydd and Morgan.

KUROKO: A very effective tactic, which denies some of your opponent's’ strength while possibly increasing your own.

AYA: And that’s all for today! We’re saying goodbye to James, Za’kiir, Zeb and Luxury, but we still have seventeen players in the game!

KUROKO: Don’t miss tomorrow’s report on the PPC HQ Hunger Games, only on Nutmeg TV!

AYA and KUROKO bump their shoulders, and “shoot” the camera with their hands in gun shape.

AYA and KUROKO: See you next death!

Clips of the players speaking are shown.

District Huinesoron

DAFYDD: Stealth: apparently a pretty common tactic. Last night I kept an eye out for fires, but only saw one. I kept my distance; I actually ran into Agent Derik doing the exact same thing, but I don't think he saw me. Everyone's a spy today.

As was whoever rifled my belongings while I was out on patrol. They moved as quietly as an elf, which makes them... no-one in the Arena? Maybe the producers decided to get funny. I'm just glad I didn't have much worth taking.

KAITLYN: I made new friends... sort of. I ran into Agent Luxury, who was following some kind of fuzzy dog around - I think it was a Pokemon, but I'm not sure. Its name was Tacitus, though, and it was very eager for help in keeping Lux talking - and not, y'know, doing anything else - allll night long.

Yeah, they weren't really company to keep around, is what I'm saying. So I headed out by myself in the morning, and tested my skills by sneaking into that elf's camp. Apparently I am as quiet as a hobbit - good going, me!

I miss Alleb and the Doktor. :(

SELENE: Cold; apparently lightning isn't good for lighting firewood still drenched in Single Tears. Don't work well by myself. Ran into the Time Lady who killed Wobbles around noon; I knowhow dangerous she is, so I settled for rifling her things.

Maybe I'll find Kaitlyn tonight. That would be nice.

MORGAN: Whoever stole my stuff is going to pay.

I didn't get a lot of sleep last night - Gerry from Building Maintenance (met her during the Blackout, I think - good-bad times) needed help, so I added her to my list of 'slightly allies'. That turned out not to be a good idea - she ran off after a spaceman in the morning, and while I tried to get a bit of rest, someone made off with my food supplies.

So now I'm tired and hungry.

I need a drink.

District Newbie

HENRY: I'm not even sure how I managed to get hurt. I don't think I was attacked or anything, but then again, I got pretty lost last night. I think this place is continuing to takes its toll on me...

It was lucky that I ended up meeting Sergio. My healing magic doesn't properly in this place, so it was fortunate that he was around to show me some Muggle first-aid techniques. Probably should try to learn more of those for whenever someone gets hurt on a mission where I can't use magic either.

I think I have actually heard of this guy before. He and his partners seem to have been pretty legendary when they worked in Floaters.

Apparently his girlfriend got horribly killed at the start of this madness and he saw her body afterwards. Ouch!

Anyway, seems pretty safe to hang around him for now. Things seems to be turning out pretty OK for me so, all considering, so lets hope that keeps up.

District Neshomeh

NUME: I caught up with Aviator after that explosion. Even after pulling shrapnel out of her back, though, I don't know if an alliance is the way to go this time. I'm going to have to start getting aggressive to stand a chance at winning, and I don't like my chances against some of these people on my own, but an unstable ally is no better than an enemy. If she can stop swearing at me for five minutes, maybe we can still work together. If not, I'm out of here.

DERIK: This morning I made my way back to the Cornucopia to see if I could find some extra supplies. I found a bomb. It's not my usual approach, but it was certainly effective. *grin* That should teach my opponents to stand too close together from now on.

District Corolla

COROLLA: It was nice meeting Sergio again, he seems to be holding up rather nicely considering he said to have seen Nikki's body during the first day. Ouch. Rayson seems to be doing fine, too. Then during the day, Zeb got blown up - ouch again! I managed to barely escape the explosion, and later I chased a Zorua, but he got away. Not quite my day today.

SERGIO: Corolla seems to be having fun, which is good. During the day I met a guy called Henry, a Potterverse wizard. He's an healer, but the Holodeck seems to have nerfed his healing. I gave him some non-magical first-aid tips I learned in the field - nothing flashy, I'm not a medic, but those are rare on the battlefield.

His partner got taken out too - and, in fact, she's an anime girl like Nikki. In a way, they remind me of us. Only that we didn't get a Bleepfic as a first asignment. Thinking about sticking with him for now, and having a talk with the stupid daisy before going home.

RAYSON: Why is that girl chasing me? I haven't done anything to her! I don't want to die!

District Scapegrace

FIELD COMMANDER LOLA McCANDLESS: Things are getting harder now, but at least I'm not having to do it on an empty stomach. I got lucky; a supply chest had a bunch of untouched MREs and a little camping stove thing that hadn't even been touched, along with a ton of balloons for some damn reason. It worked fine, and I decamped to higher ground once I was well-rested in my previous hiding place. At least it didn't flood this time. We'll see how the remaining contestants get on, but I'm doing okay for myself so far. Luck beats skill, but skill means you make your own luck. That got drilled into me in the Mountain and I'm glad of it. I wonder how His Lordship's doing.

ALGERNON, 7TH EARL WYMBOURNE: Another sleepness night in this electric prison bore only the bitter fruit of failure, but I will succeed. I must. This damnable Holodeck's spirit willaccede to my requests; I need only to find the proper phrasing. My meat remains, though it dwindles, and while I was hunting I espied another contestant. And I chased him. I howled my challenge like a shaman of the far Americas, loosing a cobbled-together tomahawk at his head as I ran after him, blood pumping in my ears, anger at him surging through my veins. This was my hunt! This was my prize! How dare I be denied by any man? I, who am by right of blood the lord of an English estate, wherever that England may now be? I would have chased him to his end if I could... but I could not. And as soon as I sat down, realizing I had wasted another day, that selfsame anger left me. Forgive me, O lord. I know not what I do.

District Cynic

JAMES: So much for buckling down.

District Cynic has been eliminated.

District Sea Turtle

TACITUS: Night was better than the last. A third agent-- Kaitlyn-- acted as a buffer between Luxury and me. And here I was, thinking I was rid of her. Well, she might be of some use to me in the coming days. We discussed tactics throughout the night. Of course, there were some difficulties involved since I'm mute. The amount of paper I have left in my logbook is limited and I have no desire to waste it with idle chatter.

Morning. Detonation in distance. Cautiously investigated. Saw Dives crawling away from the explosion on the far side of the clearing-- if I was closer, I would've finished her off. Zeb, a catman, and Luxury have been vaporized in an apparent trap. What luck! Three down in one fell swoop.

Chased by Corolla later in the afternoon. Gave her the slip, no sweat. Seriously-- how many times do these Action agents have to try before realizing that you simply can't chase down a Spy?

District Alleb

District Nine

ZEB: *shaking like a leaf* Explosions. Why did it have to be explosions. Why...?

THE AVIATOR: [CENSORED] Nume and [CENSORED] injuries I can't reach and [CENSORED, CENSORED, CENSORED] shrapnel and [CENSORED—]

District Flame

LIBRARY: I had no luck at night trying to make a fire. I decided to take a more proactive approach today regarding finding other competitors, but that didn't succeed either. Overall, not very fruitful at all.

GERRY: Had another run-in with Morgan and she helped patch me up, but I split up from her after I started chasing another agent. I'm still in to win.

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

HIERONYMUS: Somebody tried to chase me while I was out looking for food. But he moved like a zombie, probably sleep deprived, so I could escape easily. Had a good night’s sleep myself, back in my cave. And there is actually some water trickling from the rocks deep in. Should really have explored this place earlier. It’s not enough to still my thirst, but it helps me keep going. Alas, I’m quite hungry by now.

Unnamed District

Agent Luxury was not interviewed.

Unnamed District has been eliminated.

The Aviator and Nume, Day 4

[Boarder!Sergio’s comment of the day: Today seems to be a calm day, and surprisingly the Hatchet Sponsor didn’t show up yet (unless you want to believe that Corolla actually had a Pokeball, that is). Aya and Kuroko claimed that there are no hatchets in the arena... but I didn’t remove them. So they might show up.]

Night 3

Ave looks at the night sky.

Henry loses sight of where he is.

Nume thinks about winning.

Za'kiir, Sergio, and Corolla sleep in shifts.

Derik sees a fire, but stays hidden.

Algie stays awake all night.

Selene is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth.

Tacitus, Kaitlyn, and Lux discuss the games and what might happen in the morning.

Morgan tends to Gerry's wounds.

HG goes to sleep.

James dies from hunger.

Lola cooks her food before putting her fire out.

Library attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful.

Zeb and Rayson sleep in shifts.

Dafydd sees a fire, but stays hidden.

Day 4

Sergio tends to Henry's wounds.

Kaitlyn steals from Dafydd while he isn't looking.

Gerry chases Rayson.

Selene steals from Morgan while she isn't looking.

Derik sets an explosive off, killing Za'kiir, Zeb, and Lux.

Nume tends to Ave's wounds.

Library hunts for other tributes.

Algie chases HG.

Lola travels to higher ground.

Corolla attacks Tacitus, but he manages to escape.


Day 5

AYA and KUROKO: Welcome back to the PPC HQ Hunger Games!

AYA: Tonight has been a rather cheerful night for most of the players, with two different groups staying up all night singing.

KUROKO: Did they decide to take it all as the game it is meant to be, or are they snapping under the pressure? Anyways, there was still some violence tonight, as Corolla was eliminated by Henry.

AYA: The sad thing is, her former partner Sergio was just a few meters away, and saw everything. The poor guy can’t catch a breath. He was later seen picking flowers... is he snapping?

KUROKO: I don’t know, he might have some uses for them. Henry, though, seems to have been shaken up quite a bit from the happenings.

AYA: The rest of the day has been rather peaceful, as well. The only eliminated player was Nume - he must’ve ran out of drinkable water, as the Automated Event Feed says he died of thirst.

KUROKO: I don’t quite agree about the day being peaceful - there have been several chases, and Algernon defeated Aviator in a fight, but luckily for her he wasn’t interested in killing her.

AYA: True. Library managed to scare Rayson away from her…

KUROKO: It’s not very hard, actually - I wonder how he was selected as a test pilot.

AYA:... And Selene tried to get hold of Kaitlyn, but that didn’t quite work.

KUROKO: Dafydd too managed to lose his pursuer. Seems that his natural Elven wood-dwelling skills were too much for even a well trained soldier like Lola to be able to follow him.

AYA: And this is all for today - today only Corolla and Supernumerary were eliminated, but there’s still fifteen players left. There can still be plenty of action!

KUROKO: So, don’t miss tomorrow’s report from the PPC HQ Hunger Games, only on Nutmeg TV!

AYA and KUROKO bump their shoulders, and “shoot” the camera with their hands in gun shape.

AYA and KUROKO: See you next death!

Clips of the players speaking are shown.

District Huinesoron

DAFYDD: I figured having company last night was probably a good idea after someone went through my stuff yesterday. I'm... honestly not even sure who that person was. And then a Secondborn tried to stalk me across the Arena. Yeah... good luck with that.

It's all gone a bit quiet. Am I the only one expecting carnivorous squirrels any moment?

KAITLYN: I miss Alleb. :( And the Doktor. :( I think the cold is getting to me, too; I didn't sleep very well for bad dreams. Wish I hadn't lost my firelighter. Then in the morning someone was chasing me, and I had to run. I wish I could find Selene.

Still no mushrooms.

SELENE: I found Kaitlyn! ... but she ran away.

Last night I camped with an Italian and someone from Building Maintenance; I joined in their songs to try and stop myself thinking about their pulses. Then morning came, and I saw Kaitlyn across the Arena! I ran after her, but I don't think she knew it was me.

Or... maybe she did, and she still ran. I know I've been getting more and more messed up as this has gone on. I really hope the Key isn't breaking down...

MORGAN: Things are improving. I think my mood yesterday might've been leftover fumes from the Single Tears. I spent last night with a DIA agent - not my preferred company, but at least she's competent. Then struck out for the high ground.

I've been catching the edge of some pretty severe psychic ripples cutting across the Arena - thinking about who's still here, I think it must be the Aviator. I don't know if she's injured or just angry, but something's going on with her. I should watch out for that - a veteran of the Time War isn't someone I want to see flamethrower-crazy.

District Newbie

HENRY: Oh authors above ... Why did this have to happen!? Everything was doing great, Sergio and I were getting mighty fine ... Then I went to do guard duty during the night and I saw ... something approaching the camp and I instantly went after them and managed to hit them fatally. I don't even know how manage to hit a target that small at the dead of the night! But then ... then I found that I eliminate Sergio's other former partner, right in front of his eyes! Guy has already seen both of his partners being horribly mangled inside this madness ... I don't know how much more he can take after this ... or much more I can take this! Please make this stop! Please! I can't take it anymore!

District Neshomeh

NUME: Well, I gave up on Aviator, but I never should have taken up with those two fruitcakes last night. Thirst my ass—that fekface Derik jabbed me with my own needle! All your cells dehydrating instantaneously, causing cardiac arrest, is not a fun experience. Christ, my skin is still crawling.

DERIK: ♪A-hunting we will go, a-hunting we will go, high-ho the derry-o, a-hunting we will go...♪

District Corolla

COROLLA: Uh, I thought it was a good idea to try to join the camp Sergio was at. However, the one on guard thought I was trying to attack them, and... that didn't end so well. Well, game over. Still, I had a lot of fun, and I am looking forward to the next edition!

SERGIO: Henry and I set up camp with Selene and Gerry, and everything was going smoothly (we were even singing to pass the time!) until Henry noticed some movement in the bushes and went to check. There was an intruder, and he took her down swiftly.

Normally I would commend him on that, but... well, the intruder was Corolla. Well, she's not truly dead beng this just a game, he didn't know who she was, his course of action was proper considering the circumstance so I don't hold it against him.

Still, I picked up some chamomile flowers during the day. I hope a chamomile will help my nerves.

RAYSON: Everyone's trying to kill me! Everyone! AAAAH!

District Scapegrace

FIELD COMMANDER LOLA McCANDLESS: Soooo, last night was pretty interesting. Morgan seems a lot nicer than the Guardsman makes out she would. And Morgan... she seems to make out a lot nicer than the Guardsman would. Hoo boy. That was a lot of fun. Only wish I'd been able to get my hands on the elf, though, he's tricksy hobbitses. Or elfses. Or whatever. Still haven't seen Algie's name on the board, though, so that's a plus too.

I hope I'll see Morgan on the high ground again.

ALGERNON, 7TH EARL WYMBOURNE: It would appear that companionship has come my way again. Though the gilding of my coat has lost all its starlight and the green fades like autumn, our songs bring a newfound vernal potency to the coming morning! And what a morning! I was taking a brief constitutional, and my, what healthful airs this place has! It reminds me of Eastbourne but with more butcher's knives. But yes, I must continue. I walked about and saw a rabbit, a shortish little rabbit, a slip of a thing that bounded about with a peculiar light. Box cutters have the flimsiest blades and it broke off in her shooting hand, but there are several and that vorpal blade went snicker-snack! And the way that the rabbit's blood ran deep crimson across my shoes amused me such that I laughed and laughed and laughed, and when I stopped, my new friend had gone to Fairyland, I suppose. I hope we can see each other again.

District Cynic

District Sea Turtle

TACITUS: Who else but PPC agents decide to break into song at night during a simulated murderfest? I found myself a foxhole and went to sleep.

I partnered up with Graubart for the day. He seems like a reasonable partner, if a little old. At least I have a decent chance of running away if he decides to attack me.

As we were moving through the forest we saw Supernumerary's corpse; it was dry as a bone. Fearing some strange trap-- or worse, Wymbourne's magic-- we stayed clear of the area.

Speaking of Wymbourne, I spotted him cutting Dives down to size before suddenly backing off and leaving her to bleed out. It seemed like a trap: one of the strongest agents in here, ready for someone to deliver the coup de grâce while her crazed attacker hides in the shadows, waiting for the two-for-one combo.

I'm not stupid. I ran from that as fast as I could.

District Alleb

District Nine

THE AVIATOR: He got the drop on me and I'm still injured, alright? Stop looking at me like that, there were plenty of alternate timelines where I didn't survive the war! [CENSORED] off and leave me alone!

District Flame

Agents Library and Gerry were not interviewed.

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

HIERONYMUS: I abandoned my cave. It is not safe anymore. This one-handed elf, Dafydd Illian, sneaked in. Yeah, I would have preferred an elleth, but snuggling to share heat is always better than being murdered in my sleep. Of course I didn't close an eye last night.

When I moved out, that crazy Fox-Pokémon showed up and suggested working together. Does Tacitus not know who I am, or does he believe that I'm not aware who poisoned Androia?

Wait. I wonder whether I should be aware. Can we hear the commentary while we are in the game? The energy sword comment sounded like Aya and Kuroko life-reporting what they had just watched, while Androia was still around, so overhearing this isn't a precedent. Sometimes, being the writer of one's own story can be quite confusing.

Anyway, I have to be careful. Being tired and hungry isn't the best condition for a fight. Are Pokémon edible?

Update: Tacitus ran away. Can he read minds? Did he see something I didn't notice?

Unnamed District

Lola & Morgan, Night 4

[Boarder!Sergio’s comment for the day: Well, and Corolla goes too ;_; Rayson running around scared is very in character - when I fly the CorollaWorks deathtraps prototypes with him in Kerbal Space Program, he usually screams in fear and/or looks around in terror since soon after the takeoff until the landing.]

Night 4

Library sets up camp for the night.

Algie, Derik, and Nume cheerfully sing songs together.

Lola convinces Morgan to snuggle with her.

Ave tends to her wounds.

Dafydd convinces HG to snuggle with him.

Henry severely injures Corolla and leaves her to die.

Rayson tends to his wounds.

Sergio, Selene, and Gerry cheerfully sing songs together.

Kaitlyn is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth.

Tacitus goes to sleep.

Day 5

Henry questions his sanity.

Morgan travels to higher ground.

Tacitus and HG work together for the day.

Nume dies from thirst.

Gerry is pricked by thorns while picking berries.

Library scares Rayson off.

Sergio picks flowers.

Algie defeats Ave in a fight, but spares her life.

Selene chases Kaitlyn.

Derik goes hunting.

Dafydd diverts Lola's attention and runs away.


Day 6

AYA: Welcome back to the PPC HQ Hunger Games!

KUROKO: The players are starting to dwindle - this night, Tacitus lost his head. Literally.

AYA: I wonder how Derik managed to do a decapitating swing with a sledgehammer?

KUROKO: You don’t want to see how. Trust me.

AYA: Anyways, Derik’s glory was just about to end.

KUROKO: The producers called in a Feast, and while looking for supplies he was caught and stabbed by Henry.

AYA: And running didn’t do Hieronymus any good this time, as Selene caught him with the last of her strength.

KUROKO: Really, we don’t understand how she died of hunger right afterwards. There was also a three-way fight between Library, Gerry and Morgan - the latter decided it was time for a tactical retreat when Library managed to take down Gerry.

AYA: And the arena’s pits claim another victim - this time is Rayson who wasn’t looking where he was going!

KUROKO: That ladder isn’t going to do him any good, as the fall is programmed to be an insta-kill.

AYA: Anyways, the day still hasn’t ended yet - and Library, with the help of Lola, claims another kill. This time she took down one of the favourites for the final win - Aviator!

KUROKO: Dafydd made good use of his superior Elven ability of going unnoticed in the woods - this time, is Sergio the one whose gear disappeared from under his own eyes!

AYA: Henry, instead, is silently following Morgan - is he going for another kill?

KUROKO: We’ll know tomorrow, as the cannons just fired. Today we said goodbye to Tacitus, Hieronymus Graubart, Gerry, Derik, Rayson Kerman, Aviator and Selene Windflower. The latter’s death marks the first casualty District Huinesoron takes since the beginning of the game.

AYA: Another interesting thing is that both her and Derik died right after getting their fourth kill - four is death indeed.

KUROKO: For now, Aviator’s record of five from the last season is still safe. But let’s have a look at the top eight players!

AYA: AKA today’s eight survivors.

KUROKO: They’re Dafydd Illian, Morgan, Kaitlyn, Henry Asclepe, Sergio Turbo, Lola McCandless, Algernon and Calpurnia Library!

AYA: Who’s your favourite? Let us know!

KUROKO: The battle is in its final stages now! Don’t miss the next report of the PPC HQ Hunger Games, only on Nutmeg TV!

AYA and KUROKO bump their shoulders, and “shoot” the camera with their hands in gun shape.

AYA and KUROKO: See you next death!

District Huinesoron

DAFYDD: I ran into Selene last night. It's been... a while since we last saw each other. She's... well, honestly she's looking a little scary right now, I don't think the game-makers thought about vampires when they set this up. Maybe that's why she insisted on going to the Feast...? Bad idea, I heard four cannon shots from that. I have a much better resource-acquisition strategy: steal from people.

KAITLYN: My friends keep dying. :( I met this old guy who'd holed up in a cave, and he let me camp with him, but he went to the Feast and got killed. I didn't go - too dangerous for me! - and as it turned out, I didn't need to. I found a crate full of food tucked away in a corner of the cave - I wonder why Hieronymus didn't spot it?

SELENE: So hungry. All the time I was with Dafydd last night I couldn't stop thinking about his blood. Then at the Cornucopia I took down that grey-beard - but no, I couldn't drink from him, the DIA would go nuts.

So I lost. Don't care. I'm going to get something to eat. Get out of my way, or it might be you.

MORGAN: I have a plan. Well... I had a plan. Make slightly-friends with people, so that they hunt each other before they do me. Great. Except the flip-side of that plan is that all my slightly-friends keep killing each other. Library took out Gerry today, and tried to come after me, too. Should I still count her on the list? If not, I'm down to... Lola. That's it.

And to make matters worse, someone's hunting me. I don't know who.

And I have a headache.

District Newbie

HENRY: Today went rather well, all things considered. But I'm still quite ... shaken up

From what happened earlier and causing another death didn't really help matters. I know this is just a game on one of those ... holodeck things, but these simulated deaths are still really brutal.

After all that happened, I ended up splitting up from Sergio and I'm currently following someone. I still can't believe that there only 8 of us left in this thing ...

District Neshomeh

DERIK: *stares blankly at the camera*


I hate this game. If—hm? Well, what do you think happened? I'm half-blind. It does leave one somewhat vulnerable. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go apologize to several people and then get extremely drunk.

District Neshomeh has been eliminated.

District Corolla

SERGIO: Night was terrible. Nightmares again. Didn't went to the Cornucopia yet again, that place is dangerous. Rayson seems to have been eliminated as well - he fell into a pit or something.

Someone stole most of my gear when I was off looking for food - I know only have my Beretta and the Holodeck's replica of Nikki's Device, and that's because I never leave them around.

It happened again - I'm the last survivor of my group, with no supplies and several targets to take down. Time to finish this.

RAYSON: That pit was scary. But... I guess no one will be after me now? I'm not signing up again.

District Scapegrace

FIELD COMMANDER LOLA McCANDLESS: The other night, Morgan mentioned to me that there were ways her people could track each other, kinda like a psychic trail. Time Lords are seriously damn dangerous, though, I know from experience, so I started monitoring them closely. Plus side, though, I've keeping fit and fed, and I met up with Library again! She's still nice, and she's actually a pretty decent tracker. Would've had her sent to Scout training back in the Mountain, no question. And... we got her. Yeah, she was wounded, yeah, it was two on one, but in the early days of the Long War that was how you killed Sectoids and Thin Men without getting a face full of plasma. Partial kill on a Time Lord. I'm... going to go and think for a bit.

ALGERNON, 7TH EARL WYMBOURNE: Yes. Yes! The stars, as certain treatises on the darkest magics of the multiverse say, are indubitably coming right, haha! While I contemplated my inevitable victory over the ragbag of tawdry, gullible beings who have succumbed to archaic notions of sanity, the magic caught! All the truly great magicians have been at least slightly mad, and since I am completely mad that appears to have put me at some considerable advantage! I tested a simple spell to compel a river spirit to fish for me... and lo, this was achieved! Ha! My magic is undeniable now! They shall bow! Bow before me! As is only right!

District Cynic

District Sea Turtle

TACITUS: On one paw, my sleep was interrupted by a maniac who reached into my hole, pulled me out by the tail, threw me against a tree, and smashed my head in with a hammer.

On the other, I survived longer than my colleagues, evaded multiple assassination attempts, scored a kill, and accomplished my original information collection mission. So overall, a success.

Now please excuse me. I need to make Luxury pay for using me as a pillow.

District Sea Turtle has been eliminated.

District Alleb

District Nine

THE AVIATOR: I was still hurt from the explosion and that crazy bloke attacking me--do you really think two against one was doing me any favors?

Whatever. I'm off for a drink. And then I'm going to have some words with my brother and partner.

District Nine has been eliminated.

District Flame

LIBRARY: I spent the last couple nights in preparation, and it paid off fairly well. When I returned to the cornucopia I ended up in a fight with the Time Lady Morgan, and Gerry, and ended up killing Gerry. I hope she won't hold that against me after this is finished. Afterwards, I temporarily joined up with Algie's partner Lola, and we managed to kill the Aviator. There can't very many of us left. I wonder how soon this will end?

GERRY: Okay, okay, maybe I should have laid off on the sodding ghost stories and got some proper rest instead; Denny's girlfriend ended up taking me out when Morgan and I got into a fight with her. Didn't see that one coming, but Cal is a quiet one. Figures. I need to collect the money from the bet I made with Colt. At least I won that. *grumbling*

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

HIERONYMUS: Stupid! Stupid!! Stupid!!! Why didn't I stay with Kaitlyn?! We could have found this crate together.

Crunch. Munch, munch. Gulp. Yeah, the cave. That wasn't actually my cave; Dafydd had driven me out there. I guess it might be the cave Laura found the first day and abandoned for the flood; there were still some puddles of Sue tears. I had only just arrived myself when Kaitlyn showed up, and I made the same mistake again, not exploring the deeper depths of the hole immediately.

Munch. Munch. Gulp. No, I don't blame Kaitlyn for distracting me. Kaitlyn is nice. Dafydd hadn't had anything to share but warmth, having been dispossessed the previous night. Communicating with Tacitus had been difficult; if he possessed anything edible, sharing it was apparently not included in working together. But Kaytlyn shared her last food with me, and I had nothing to give her. I just had to go to get something.

And then the vampire got me.

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder has been eliminated.

Unnamed District

Selene & Dafydd, Night 5

[Boarder!Sergio’s comment for the day: Eight left, we’re in the closing stages! One of my characters actually managed to get in the Top 8, which makes me happy.]

Night 5

Library goes to sleep.

Selene and Dafydd hold hands.

Kaitlyn and HG sleep in shifts.

Algie thinks about winning.

Sergio is awoken by nightmares.

Lola cooks her food before putting her fire out.

Morgan thinks about winning.

Derik decapitates Tacitus with a sword.

Ave, Henry, Rayson, and Gerry tell each other ghost stories to lighten the mood.


The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tributes' families.

Lola decides not to go to The Feast.

Ave decides not to go to The Feast.

Selene kills HG as he tries to run.

Library, Morgan, and Gerry start fighting, but Morgan runs away as Library kills Gerry.

Henry stabs Derik while his back is turned.

Kaitlyn decides not to go to The Feast.

Sergio decides not to go to The Feast.

Algie decides not to go to The Feast.

Dafydd decides not to go to The Feast.

Rayson falls into a pit and dies.

Day 6

Algie fishes.

Dafydd steals from Sergio while he isn't looking.

Selene dies from hunger.

Henry stalks Morgan.

Lola and Library track down and kill Ave.

Kaitlyn finds a supply crate.


Day 7

AYA and KUROKO: Welcome back to the PPC HQ Hunger Games!

AYA: This night has been pretty violent, with a fierce battle between two groups!

KUROKO: Sergio, Dafydd and Morgan tried to ambush Lola, Kaytlyn and Henry, but after a long struggle the second group prevailed without taking even a single casualty.

AYA: Actually, they’re the only survivors of the night at all.

KUROKO: Indeed. Algernon learned the hard way that walking around in the darkness can be dangerous - landmines aren’t there just for show.

AYA: And Library gets a rather unglorified elimination due to an infection.

KUROKO: Battle wounds are never to be underestimated, even considering this is just a simulation.

AYA: Anyways, now the night’s winning team is forced to fight one another: Lola seems rather determined about winning, just like Kaytlin and Henry seems determined about not letting her catch them - both managed to lose her.

KUROKO: Unfortunately, that’s all for today. Today we’ve seen the elimination of Sergio Turbo, Dafydd Illian, Morgan, Algernon and Calpurnia Library. Which one of the three survivors will win?

AYA: Maybe we’ll know in tomorrow’s PPC HQ Hunger Games report, only on Nutmeg TV!

AYA and KUROKO bump their shoulders, and “shoot” the camera with their hands in gun shape.

AYA and KUROKO: See you next death!

Clips of the players speaking are shown.

District Huinesoron

DAFYDD: ... bother.

MORGAN: With everything that's been happening, I decided this was it: do or (heh) die time. My pursuer teamed up with two of - I thought - the easiest people for me to win against: Lola (who I figured was probably still infatuated with me) and that girl who thinks she's a hobbit.

To further stack the odds, I teamed up with two of the other survivors: the two former agents. I mean, they must be good in a fight, right?

Yeah. Didn't go so well. Oh, well.

Can I have that drink now?

KAITLYN: Soooo there's only three of us now? I ran into Lola and Henry last night, but then we got attacked! I guess all the other Tributes were in on the attack, because they're all dead this morning.

I wish that meant it was just me and my friends, but I don't really trust Lola; she's a bit scary. Neither does Henry, I think - he's gone into hiding.

But, I mean, wow - there's only three of us? That must mean it'll be over soon...

District Newbie

HENRY: Ok so, after I ended up losing sight of that girl I was keeping track of, I ended up grouping with Kaitlyn and Lola. Things were going well until we got ambushed by another group of three people, including the person I was following before and ... Sergio. Unfortunately, I was the one who ended up fighting him. Ended up in a swordfight with him. I have to say, guy fought rather well, but I ended up defeating and eliminating him. I'm really sorry about having had to do that, specially after accidently killing his partner earlier. Hope I can make it up to them after this is over.

And then since two other people ended up dying by themselves, it turns that there's only the three of us left in this. So I decided that it would best to run away and hide for now.

District Neshomeh

District Corolla

SERGIO: Well... I guess I really should've kept going with the same strategy that kept me in the game until now. Joined Dafydd and Morgan into staging an ambush - and it didn't work out that well. I ran out of ammo for my gun before we managed to get even one of them ,and had to resort to Nikki's Device - apparently, the holodeck's rendition of it is usable in Saber form by anyone - but Henry is much better experienced as a fencer than I am. The result is obvious.

District Corolla has been eliminated.

District Scapegrace (Scapegrace)

FIELD COMMANDER LOLA McCANDLESS: Never trust a Time Lord. Never. The irony is that I'd invited Morgan to stay. I left a message on some tree bark near where she tends to hang around. I wanted to see her. And look where that got me. At least I've, I've made a podium finish. That's something. I let Kaitlyn run away, too, this afternoon. That's something too.

I think I had a flashback during the ambush. It'd certainly explain some things. I think a few of my perks from the Mountain are still active, too; I managed to get a shot off with Sergio's gun even though it was empty thanks to Lock'n'Load, and Shredder Ammo's still active. Yeah. It, um. It made a bit of a mess of Morgan. Confirmed kill, and then I had to deal with Library dying of an infected [Censored] wound because she wouldn't [cCensored] tell anyone the stupid proud [Really, really censored] --

It's just a game. It's just a game. I'm not going back to the Long War, they're not here.

ALGERNON, 7TH EARL WYMBOURNE: Well then. I did not see that coming. Which, one supposes, is rather the point of a well-placed mine. Ah, but at least I have the tender mercies of FicPsych to look forward too. I hope I haven't made too much of a fool of myself in recent days... and I require a bath. Possibly several.

I shall also be sending my regards to the Aviator. While a game, I fear I may have done something in poor taste while in the grip of my madness. Perhaps involving a rabbit, if I remember right. Hm. Ah! I have it. I know just what to send. If you'll forgive me, I must away!

District Cynic

District Sea Turtle

District Alleb

District Nine

District Flame

LIBRARY: It turns out simulated infections can also cause simulated high temperature fevers. That was unpleasant. I wish luck for the competitors still in the game. Hopefully it won't turn out too traumatic.

District Flame has been eliminated.

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

Unnamed District

Dafydd & Hieronymus, Night 4

Night 6

Sergio, Dafydd, and Morgan unsuccessfully ambush Lola, Kaitlyn, and Henry, who kill them instead.

Algie accidently steps on a landmine.

Library dies from an infection.

Day 7

Henry camouflauges himself in the bushes.

Kaitlyn diverts Lola's attention and runs away.


Day 8

AYA: Welcome back to the PPC HQ Hunger Games!

KUROKO: We’re in the closing stages, with only three players left!

AYA: Lola spent the night treating the wounds from yesterday’s fight. Kaitlyn saw her fire, but decided to not attack her. She was probably already feeling ill, as during the following day the last player from District Huinesoron succumbed to dysentery.

KUROKO: Henry, instead, seems to have gotten lost. Didn’t stop him from running into Lola though. The two had a brief fight, with Lola being on the losing side - however, Henry decided to spare her.

AYA: Maybe he wants her to recover to have a proper fight? I can’t see any other reason.

KUROKO: Normally the cannons would’ve fired by now, but we’re going on overtime as we only have two players left. In fact, Lola seems to be going for a rematch and…

AYA: ... That wasn’t quite what I was expecting.

KUROKO: Indeed. We were expecting them to have another fight - except that Lola decided to just attack Henry from the shadows while the latter was unaware.

AYA: Not quite the way to thank him for before, but... Anything goes here.

KUROKO: With this, the PPC HQ Hunger Games are over, and this season’s champion is Lola McCandless!

AYA: An interesting fact is that both she and Henry managed to duplicate last season’s kill record of five.

KUROKO: However, the title holder for that record remains Aviator, as she achieved it first and with a smaller player roster.

AYA: WIth this, the PPC HQ Hunger Games are over! Tomorrow we’ll be live from Rudi’s for the award ceremony!

AYA and KUROKO bump their shoulders, and “shoot” the camera with their hands in gun shape.

AYA and KUROKO: See you next death!

Clips of the players speaking are shown.

District Huinesoron

KAITLYN: So that's what dysentery is? Huh. Nasty. I guess I should've listened to Lola when she said I looked a bit ill.

Oh well! It was a fun game. Except for the dying part, I could've given that a miss.

District Huinesoron has been eliminated.

District Newbie

HENRY: Well, second place isn't that bad, specially since apparently I got the same number of kills as the winner did, so that's good. Going temporally insane twice and ending up killing people I really didn't want to kill aside, this was a really fun experience. It sure was much more fun than fighting any Sues. Like I said before, agents are much smarter and more strategic, so this was more of a challenge.

Seems that there's going to be a party after this. It will be nice to meet up with Aiko again and I also really want to talk to Sergio and Corolla.

District Newbie has been eliminated.

District Neshomeh

District Corolla

District Scapegrace

FIELD COMMANDER LOLA McCANDLESS: I... I think I ran out of people to kill now. Which means back on the Skyra - er, sorry, back home. To a place that's not the Mountain. It's over. It's all over.

And I won.

And I'm... not sure how to feel about that. I mean, yeah, great, victory over a bunch of really hardcore agents, but I wanted to learn more about them and I'm terrified about how much I learned about myself. And, from what people have said, my partner. It's intimidating.

You've almost got to feel sorry for any Suvians that come our way for a bit. But right now? I am going to have a drink. They're on me, everyone, and all the contestants are invited. Even the Pokémon. Especially the Pokémon. The thought of that little pink guy off his tits just makes me laugh, and we could all do with a bit of that right now. Sorry if I'm not being especially coherent, but I've just come out of the second-worst camping holiday I've ever been on.

XCOM out. =]

District Cynic

District Sea Turtle

District Alleb

District Nine

District Flame

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

Unnamed District

Tacitus, Luxury, & Kaitlyn, Night 3

Night 7

Lola tends to her wounds.

Kaitlyn sees a fire, but stays hidden.

Henry loses sight of where he is.

Day 8

Henry defeats Lola in a fight, but spares her life.

Kaitlyn dies of dysentery.

Night 8

Lola ambushes Henry and kills him.


Final Standings

Field Commander Lola McCandless


District Scapegrace

5 Kills

Henry Asclepe

Second Place

District Newbie

5 Kills

Kaitlyn Jackson

Third Place

District Huinesoron

3 Kills

Calpurnia Library

Fourth Place

District Flame

2 Kills

Algernon, 7th Earl Wymbourne

5th Place

District Scapegrace


6th Place

District Huinesoron

2 Kills

Dafydd Illian

7th Place

District Huinesoron

Sergio Turbo

8th Place

District Corolla

1 Kill

The Aviator

9th Place

District Nine

Selene Windflower

10th Place

District Huinesoron

4 Kills

Rayson Kerman

11th Place

District Corolla


12th Place

District Neshomeh

4 Kills


13th Place

District Flame

Hyeronimus Graubart

14th Place

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder


15th Place

District Sea Turtle

1 Kill


16th Place

District Neshomeh

1 Kill


17th Place

District Corolla


18th Place

Unnamed District

1 Kill


19th Place

District Nine

1 Kill


20th Place

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

James Pittman

21st Place

District Cynic

1 Kill


22nd Place

District Cynic

2 Kills

Jesse McKines

23rd Place

District Alleb


24th Place

District Flame

2 Kills

Laura Dukes

25th Place

District Cynic

Wobbles the Clown

26th Place

District Scapegrace


27th Place

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

Richard Legard

28th Place

District Newbie

Aiko Kimura

29th Place

District Newbie

Gall Knutson

30th Place

District Neshomeh

Farilan Haothil Esthine

31st Place

District Nine

Doktor Trollenfish

32nd Place

District Scapegrace

Harris Frost

33rd Place

District Sea Turtle

Androia Avatar

34th Place

District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

1 Kill


35th Place

District Sea Turtle

Gaspard De Grasse

36th Place

District Sea Turtle

Michael Green

37th Place

District Alleb


38th Place

District Alleb

Captain Dandy

39th Place

Unnamed District


40th Place

District Flame

The Tiger Lily

41st Place

Unnamed District

Dr. Fitzgerald

42nd Place

Unnamed District

Marina Nicodelli

43rd Place

District Newbie

Alex Dives

44th Place

District Nine

Nikki Cherryflower

45th Place

District Corolla


46th Place

District Cynic

Ilraen Aroline Fothergill

47th Place

District Neshomeh


48th Place

District Alleb

District Placements

1. District Scapegrace

2. District Newbie

3. District Huinesoron

4. District Flame

5. District Corolla

6. District Nine

7. District Neshomeh

8. District Anonymus Silent Gray Thunder

9. District Sea Turtle

10. Unnamed District

11. District Cynic

12. District Alleb

Kills Made

5: Henry

5: Lola

4: Derik

4: Selene

3: Kaitlyn

2: Morgan

2: JF

2: Library

2: Gremlin

1: Lux

1: Zeb

1: Sergio

1: James

1: Tacitus

1: Androia

1: Nume