Transcriber: Em (@houseplantfiend)
ALI: Ooh. We're looking live. It says that we have an excellent connection.
JACK: Oh, hell yeah.
KEITH: Kudos.
ALI: Hello.
JACK: Kudos to Keith’s 100 foot long… [ALI and SYLVIA laugh.] ethernet setup.
ALI: I guess we already did the like, “let people come in” thing before we went live. So we could just–
JACK: I suppose. [KEITH: Yeah.] Should we go straight to time dot is and– and get, get this on the road?
ALI: Oh, we have to claaap. We do have to claaap. Time dot is.
KEITH: Oh, hey, recently RunButton started re– started reusing time dot is, because Kylie decided that she liked time dot is, um, again. So we should do “three, two, one, clap” instead of time dot is– [ALI laughs.] ‘Cause I can only– [JACK: Swap round?] I– I just feel I can only handle one show that uses time dot is.
DRE: Hm. Wow.
ALI: Why– why was Kylie off the time dot is game first of all there?
KEITH: I just– I think for a long time we felt that for two people, a “three, two, one, clap” is a better choice.
JACK: Right.
ALI: Oh, sure.
JACK: (very quiet) That makes sense.
KEITH: Um, because it's– it's basically, if she's doing the countdown, then it's just synching my lag to her voice. So one of us will be perfect and one of us will be a little bit off. Versus time dot is where like every– no-one's perfect and everyone's only a little bit off, which makes a lot of sense for a lot of people, doing a show. So that– [ALI: Mm-hm.] And also like, we don't have to go to time dot is when we're sitting on the couch doing “three, two, one” like craning our necks to look at the– the screen.
ALI: Sure.
KEITH: Yeah.
ALI: Well, this is– this is a time dot is company, Keith. I don't know what to tell you. [laughs] We’re not changing it.
SYLVIA: Who do you think funding's this whole operation?
[ALI laughs.]
JACK: That is not the case.
SYLVIA: No, that’s not the case. Not true.
KEITH (overlapping): Well, our obligated quote read: “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. – Albert Einstein.” Thanks, Al. And thank you, time dot is!
[ALI and JACK laugh.]
DRE: You can use our promo code “clap” at time dot is.
ALI: Yeah. Uh-huh.
SYLVIA: [whispering] God.
ALI: They should sell merch. I would buy a– No, I wouldn't. [KEITH laughs.] But I would think about buying a time dot is hat.
JACK: I’ve got a time dot is shirt that fits great.
KEITH (overlapping): I absolutely would buy a time dot is hat. Because it's such an absurd thing to have.
[ALI laughs.]
DRE: Hm-hm.
ALI: I might email time dot is and be like, yo! [laughs]
KEITH: Yeah. It's part of why– It's part of why I got one of the Blaseball hats, ‘cause it's just such an absurd thing, to have a hat that says “Kansas City Breath Mints” on it.
[ALI laughs.]
JACK: Yes, I mean, that is true.
ALI: I've been getting really big into hats lately, ‘cause I– I realized that I hate umbrellas.
JACK: Oh!
KEITH: Oh, yeah.
ALI: So wearing a hat instead has really done me… well.
KEITH: Yeah.
JACK: Yeah.
KEITH: I've liked hats recently more than– I– ‘Cause like, my hair is stupid long, ‘cause I don't wanna get a haircut and I also don't wanna cut my own hair again. [ALI: Sure.] Um… So I've been wearing a lot of hats when I've had to, like, go out, because I don't– also don't want anyone to see what my hair looks like.
ALI: [laughs] Fair.
JACK: Hm. I'm sure it looks great.
ALI: Yeah.
KEITH: Hm, it's– No, it's bad. It's too long.
[ALI and JACK laugh.]
ALI: Do we wanna clap at 38 minutes?
KEITH: Sure.
JACK: Yeah, let's do it at the top of– the very top of the minute.
ALI: Uh-huh.
JACK: That gives us a full–
[Crosstalk.]
JACK: But we are gonna have to stop talking about now.
KEITH: –limber for the clap.
[Brief silence, then disjointed claps.]
JACK: Oh, fuck me, I've fucked it up.
[KEITH, ALI and JACK laugh.]
ALI: Aw, man.
JACK: I w– I– [laughs]
KEITH: Jack, you had time to build your own clock.
JACK: [laughs] I went to clap and then for whatever reason, I lost it. My hands just stopped in mid-air in front of me. Let's do 28.
ALI: Okay.
[Everyone claps.]
JACK: Okay!
[Transition music plays.]
KEITH: We are in the, like, tower that leads to the final boss.
AUSTIN: Okay. Are you sticking with the–
KEITH: And then our disc broke. Our disc broke!
AUSTIN: Oh my God.
KEITH: One screen away from the final boss.
AUSTIN: Oh my God.
KEITH: The disc broke.
AUSTIN: Are you getting a new disc? What are you doing?
KEITH: Yeah, it's gonna be our fourth disc for this Let’s Play
AUSTIN: That's so funny.
KEITH: Yeah. Uh, Art, if you didn't know, Digimon World has famously bad discs? [ART: Hmm.] And so they just break over time?
ART: That's not how I understand discs work.
KEITH: I– That's not how I understand discs work either, but Digimon World works by special rules.
AUSTIN: Oh, I see.
KEITH: Yeah, I don't– Yeah, I don't know what it is, but discs for Digimon World just stop working over time? Um… so I think we're gonna get– we're just gonna like– like rip an ISO of it, and–
AUSTIN: That's the right call.
KEITH: Yeah. 'Cause we're done– we're done buying discs. Uh, for a while we had a disc that was bad and then we got another disc that was worse. And so we had to go back to using the disc that said on it, in sharpie: “bad disc.” [AUSTIN: Mm-hm.] It used to be how we knew it was the bad disc, and then it was how we knew that it was the better disc.
AUSTIN: Mm. Incredible.
KEITH: Yeah, we're really close.
ART: So sometimes before I come in here…
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ART: I'll listen to, like, a song or something on YouTube, 'cause I don't have any music apps on my, uh–
AUSTIN: On this computer.
ART: –work computer.
AUSTIN: Yeah, sure, sure.
ART: And, um, the ad I got from YouTube this time was an ad about transferring into the Spokane Sheriff's department.
AUSTIN: Do they think you're a cop?
ART: So they think I'm a cop!
AUSTIN: They think you're a cop.
ART: Or that I'm willing to pursue a career as a cop, to then transfer to the Spokane Sheriff's department.
AUSTIN (overlapping): But it’s not just joining. Right. You might start, for instance, in LA or in– in Southern California, and then become… Spokane. Spokane cop.
KEITH (overlapping): You–
ART: You get more pay if you transfer in, which seems like a– like they're just trying not to have police who live in their community?
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: Because they're like, if you transfer in, your base pay is higher.
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: Um, but I mean, what do I know about–
KEITH: Why do you think they think you're a cop?
ART: Because it's– it's specifically recruiting people who are already cops.
KEITH: No, I mean, but what– what about your behavior should you be changing? [laughs]
ART: Um…
KEITH: Maybe they just listened to Hieron.
AUSTIN: They're like, yeah, that– that Hadrian, literally a cop, in some ways.
ART: I mean, the last run of songs I was listening to on YouTube on this computer – and I understand that YouTube follows me everywhere.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ART: But–
KEITH: Right.
ART: Was fuckin’ Living Colour. I listened to like–
AUSTIN: Uh-huh.
ART: Cult of Personality's been like my hype up song for a little bit now.
AUSTIN: Yeah. But cops– you know, cops probably listen to that song too.
ART: But then the last song I listened to – and I checked this on here – [AUSTIN: Yeah.] was the, like the– the Living Colour song that's like an open letter to landlords? [AUSTIN chuckles.] And I gotta tell you, that song is anti-landlord, if it– if you can believe that– [KEITH: Yeah.] –about black rock group Living Colour.
AUSTIN: [laughs quietly] It's not like, “You're doing your best. We all need a landlord.”
ART: No, they're like, “stop destroying our communities.”
AUSTIN: Oh, okay. Sure.
ART: Um, so maybe they just heard “destroy our communities” and were like, there we go.
AUSTIN: There– [laughing] There we go!
[KEITH laughs.]
AUSTIN: Oh, that's very funny.
KEITH: Ahh.
ART: Yeah, I don't know what it is.
AUSTIN: That's… that's such a specific ad, too.
KEITH: Yeah.
[Transition music plays.]
SYLVIA: Hello, I'm back.
KEITH: Hey Sylvi, what's up?
SYLVIA: Eh, not much. How are you?
KEITH: Okay.
SYLVIA: Really excited to do more dialogue while I don't have any Compel or Haven stuff. I think that's gonna go great.
KEITH: Ooh. I'm– I'm glad to have Haven and Discern, which are pretty good for conversations.
SYLVIA: Yeah, I feel like I can probably not get another, uh, fallout if I just roll Discern, but, uh, we'll see.
KEITH: Uh, I– I would– It doesn't help. I was like, oh, I have this ma– Discern magnifying glass, but there's no way to magnifying-glass your way through a conversation.
SYLVIA: [laughs softly] You could try.
KEITH: I could try. Maybe, maybe the person that we're gon– we're talking to really respects sort of like a Sherlock Holmes's archetype.
SYLVIA: Really into sorta like, mystery novels and such. I mean, I can hope.
KEITH: Yeah. Fingers crossed. I, uh…
[SYLVIA yawns.]
KEITH: Isaac went and got me some, uh– We live across the street from a Wendy's.
SYLVIA: Oh, hell yeah.
KEITH: He went and got some lunch for me. And they have a Coke freestyle machine.
SYLVIA: Oh, I hate those fuckin’ things.
KEITH: Oh, you do? How come?
SYLVIA: Well, I used to have to clean one when I worked at– Or, not clean one, I used to have to clean five when I worked at a movie theater.
KEITH: Sure, that makes sense.
SYLVIA: Um, I also find–
KEITH: That's why–
SYLVIA: Oh, go ahead.
KEITH: I hate frozen yogurt for the same reason.
SYLVIA: Yeah. Yeah. That… is fair. I never had to do that, thankfully. Um, the frozen yogurt machines that they had, that was someone else's responsibility. But I also find that it's just like, no matter what, there's always just like, a hint of other flavors that you don't want in your drink. [KEITH: Uh, I–] But maybe that's just the ones I've had.
KEITH: I have had pretty good luck with that. I've definitely had it, but, um, but not typically. And also, especially when– So they've always got one in, like, the customer area, but they have a separate one that's like a fountain that's behind… the counter. And so when you get a drink from behind the counter, they, um, they have separate fountains for all of the different kinds, I think. Like, they don't– Instead of having, like, Coke and root beer and Fanta and Sprite all coming from the same nozzle, you know, it's– The different syrups are still coming out of the same nozzle, but at least they have the set, like, Coke comes out of this one, Sprite comes out of this one. And that– I think that helps.
SYLVIA: That– that, yeah, definitely would, because the ones we had were just the one nozzle.
KEITH: And I always– I'm just now realizing that I do this. I always let it run for a second, too. Uh, I just, I sort of like, give it a–
SYLVIA (overlapping): That’s probably for the best.
KEITH: I give it like a second of flush. Um, but anyway, I wanted lime Fanta. [SYLVIA: Hmm.] Which is a really good flavor that you can only get at a place with Coke freestyle.
AUSTIN (overlapping): Hm. Yeah, I would try that.
KEITH: It's– it's really, really good. And it's usually no problem when I get it. I don't drink soda a lot, and I try not to have Wendy's a lot, but it is literally a 40 second walk. Um, but for– I guess it was busy, I don't know. Like, Isaac came back and was like, “they were, like, all freaking out about making the food and then they made your drink wrong four times.” And it's like, it's just a button. Just hit the button. [laughing] I don't know where the– And then they– Oh, and then they ended up actually not even getting it right still. So I came back and it was like, I don't know what it was, it tasted like half orange, half grape? Like, I truly have no idea what the fucking soda they gave me was.
SYLVIA: Yeah. See, that's just– that is what Coke freestyle machines always feel like to me, is like, I guess this is Coke as a base, but I don't know what else is going on here.
KEITH: Yeah, this is– this has never happened to me before. I mean, they're usually– I usually go, do you have lime Fanta? And then they check and say– I know that they do, but they don't know that they do? So I have to say, do you have it? And then they go, let me check. And then they check, and then they say we do have it. And then I say, okay, I'll have that. And then they hand it to me and it's totally fine. I literally did it three days ago, but yeah, today they were not able to– [wheezes] to crack the code on the freestyle machine. I used to know how to mess with the syrups. Um–
AUSTIN: I've seen– You can just look this up on YouTube and find this.
KEITH: Oh, I watched over the shoulder of a Five Guys employee that was doing it. [AUSTIN: Hm, okay.] And they were– They changed the UI, but it used to be that the background had, like, bubbles on it. And it was three bubbles that you hit in the right order. [SYLVIA: Ohh.] And it would open the– the menu where you can adjust the syrups.
AUSTIN (overlapping): Sure, sure. That makes sense.
KEITH: Yeah.
SYLVIA: When– I don't know if this is how they are now, 'cause I don't know how recent– Like, I don't know what the firmware’s like, but when I had to do, like, maintenance and stuff on them, it was just like– you did like a, like, clock– like I guess clockwise triangle starting at the– with like the bottom left corner in the top right corner of the screen. And then it would open, like, the administrator menu.
AUSTIN: That makes sense.
SYLVIA: Yeah.
KEITH: Mess with syrups. Get the fuckin’ syrupiest root beer.
SYLVIA: Replacing all the syrups is fucking annoying.
KEITH: Yeah. I used to have to replace fountain soda syrup bags, um, when I was at California Pizza Kitchen. Um, and that sucked. They're so heavy!
SYLVIA: Yeah, so this has that. And it also has like– they're, like, supposed to be easier, but they just, when I was at– when I worked at the Cineplex, they were like, yeah, it's like changing ink on a printer. And I was like, mm, that's never a good comparison.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
SYLVIA: Um, they're basically like little cartridges. You, like, slide in there. Um, but they're like–
KEITH (overlapping): But they're heavy still, right?
SYLVIA: No, the flavor cartridges aren't really as much
KEITH: Really?
SYLVIA: Yeah. It's like– They have like a basic– 'Cause it's all flavoring getting added, the way it works. So you ha– connect like a big thing of like–
KEITH: Simple syrup or whatever.
SYLVIA: Yeah. I'm pretty sure. Like on the bottom. And then on top of that–
KEITH: Instead of flavored bags of like, this is Sprite water.
SYLVIA: Yeah.
KEITH: Sprite goo. And we just mix the Sprite goo in with the soda water. You have to mix simple syrup with soda water with flavor cartridges.
SYLVIA: Yeah, and– [KEITH: Ohh.] –there's some other shit going on there where– I can't remember if it's Diet Coke or Coke Zero, but one uses the other one when you add flavors to it, because otherwise it would be, like, weird-tasting? Um, and I don't remember which, so like, I think– Again, this could be the other way around, but like, if you got like a Coke Zero with like, um, I don't know, I think it was like raspberry flavoring, was the example I got when I was working there. And it's like, if you do that, it'll actually switch to like Diet Coke or maybe the other way around. So it's not, like, absurdly sweet. It's weird. They're doing a lotta– they're doing a lotta shit in there that people don't know about.
AUSTIN: (quietly) Uh, all right.
ART: It's been 20 years since I worked in a place where I had to change the soda syrup, and I only had to do it a couple times. I don't remember it feeling that difficult. It was at a movie theater and all of it was, like, in the back.
KEITH: Yeah.
ART: And so you just sort of like unhooked the old syrup, [KEITH: Hm.] put the hose into the new syrup or whatever the hell it was, and then– I don't even remember having to pick ‘em up, it was just like–
KEITH: Sylvi's thing was for Coke freestyle machines, specifically.
ART: Hm.
KEITH: But yeah, we had– We had, I think, what you're describing, the exact same thing, but we just kept the boxes of the new syrup, like, across the hall, like– it was only like 10 feet. But it was a 50 pound box of syrup. [ART: Sure.]´] Uh, and it was like– It's water in there. And so there wasn't a lot of rigidity to it when you– so you had to pick it up and be very careful with it so that it didn't, like, pop out of the shitty cardboard and leak everywhere. Um…
ART: So just better logistics at the–
KEITH: Yeah. We need–
ART: Regal Union Square 14.
KEITH: Yeah. More space is also the thing, I bet.
ART: Sure. Yeah. We had a whole back room, a soda room. Probably 'cause we didn't have to cook pizza, I think. That's a lot of space.
KEITH: Yeah. Prep salads. Did you prep salads there?
ART: No. No, I mean, is popcorn a salad?
AUSTIN: Hm.
KEITH: Is popcorn a salad? No.
AUSTIN: All right. That's the end of that conversation. Incredible.
[ART and AUSTIN laugh.]
KEITH: Well, now, hold on.
AUSTIN: No. Nope.
KEITH: Is it a salad when you add M&M’s to it?
AUSTIN: No, absolutely not doing this. This is– this is 2012 shit. We’re past that.
[SYLVIA laughs.]
AUSTIN: 2012. We're not.
SYLVIA: Oh, brutal.
AUSTIN: I don't have time for it. I don't, in my life anymore.
SYLVIA: All right.
AUSTIN: Uhh.
SYLVIA: Do we need to do, like, a clap to come in?
AUSTIN: Let’s just do a three, two, one, clap. Let's do a three, two, one.
SYLVIA: Okay.
AUSTIN: Three, two, one.
[Everyone claps.]
AUSTIN: All right.
[Transition music plays.]
DRE: Yeah. If we're gonna– Yeah, if we're gonna shit on Criss Angel, I'm gonna hit that record button.
AUSTIN: That's how you get cursed. That's how you get a hex on you.
JANINE: I wanted to see what his hair was like now, but if you click on– if you go to the tweet and click on that photo, that's just the photo. They just cut it that way.
AUSTIN: Oh, you should click through to the story. Here, I got you. It's still cut, but… [JANINE: But like, do–] You still don't get the whole situation.
JANINE: Ohhh. Oh.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
JANINE: He looks so much like Jared Leto, but like, less cool somehow, and I don't think Jared Leto is cool.
AUSTIN: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to Criss Angel. Or Jared Leto.
DRE: Oh, Jesus.
JANINE (overlapping): He's, like, Jared Leto’s try-hard cousin. Or like a young uncle? Like an uncle who's your age? A youncle.
AUSTIN: Mm. Don't call him a youncle.
[JANINE laughs.]
DRE: I feel like this is– this is just what Chris Jericho wants to dress like.
AUSTIN: That's true.
JANINE: I heard that Criss Angel’s opening a restaurant called Youncle.
AUSTIN: You know who else he looks like to me… is like a slightly– like one generation removed–
JANINE: Oh, I think I know where you're going with this.
AUSTIN: Where do you think I'm going with it?
JANINE: Um, Henry Cavill. [AUSTIN: No.] Like, like a pop punk Henry Cavill?
AUSTIN: Absolutely not.
SYLVIA: Oh God.
JANINE: Okay. [laughs]
AUSTIN: [laughing] Absolutely not.
[JANINE laughs.]
AUSTIN: Anyone else have any guesses of where I was going with this?
JANINE: The lower half of his face is very Henry Cavill.
AUSTIN: I can see that. I’m not– Let me tell ya–
SYLVIA: Yeah–
JANINE: The second picture, the one where he's kneeling.
AUSTIN (overlapping): I'm not– I’m not paying attention to the lower half of his face. I'm really paying attention–
SYLVIA: Is it–
AUSTIN: Yeah, Sylvi?
SYLVIA: Is it Mylo?
AUSTIN: Oh, no, but true.
JANINE: Oh, [crosstalk].
DRE: Oh, geez.
SYLVIA (overlapping): In the first picture specifically, he looks–
AUSTIN: I’m just gonna post my answer.
DRE: Final answer.
SYLVIA: Oh!
JANINE: Oh…
AUSTIN: He's got a Chris Gaines situation going on here.
DRE: Oh.
ALI: Oh, yeah.
SYLVIA: What if Criss Angel is Mylo’s Chris Gaines?
AUSTIN (overlapping): Is Mylo’s–
[ALI and AUSTIN laugh.]
SYLVIA: Sorry, I bumped my mic on that one.
AUSTIN: No, you’re good.
DRE: Worth it.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Uh-huh. And, uh, appropriate.
JANINE: Criss Gaingel.
AUSTIN: [snorts] Criss Gaingel. Yeah.
DRE: Mm-hm.
[Transition music plays.]
AUSTIN: It's like, do they have a– a medium to move things around, to move– Like, probably, I guess.
JACK: Oh, flatworms, nematodes and cnidarians. Jellyfish, sea anemone and cor– corals don't have a circulatory system.
AUSTIN (overlapping): Jellyfish, sure. [Crosstalk.]
JACK: Interesting.
AUSTIN: Interesting. Do they still have blood, or no?
JACK: No, no blood.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Do they have–
JACK (overlapping): Their body [?] has no lining or fluid within it.
AUSTIN: Wow.
SYLVIA: We’ve found it: the perfect thing to fight a vampire.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Uh-huh.
JACK: [laughs] Yeah, you see these sides–
KEITH: And then– I– I think that I'm right about this, but… insects have blood, but it's like a different thing. It, like– It's a blood analogue, it isn't actually blood. It doesn't work the same way.
AUSTIN: Hemolymph, that's– Yeah. Hemolymph, apparently. A fluid analogous to the blood in vertebrates that circulates in the interior of the orthopod, remaining in direct contact with the animal's tissues. So yeah, it's– it is a plasma, still. But it's not exactly blood.
JACK: It ain't blood.
KEITH: Instead of blood vessels, they have a soup that their organs swim in that is blood.
JACK: Great.
DRE: Yeah, kinda.
JANINE: Did– I- I just need to–
DRE: And we’re back to soup again.
JANINE: I didn't find anything helpful about the blood of Yeti crabs, but I did find out that they farm their own food on their arms and then eat it.
JACK: Wow.
AUSTIN: Sick.
JANINE: Yeah.
DRE: That’s–
AUSTIN: That's why they call them Yeti crabs, after the agricultural, uh, techniques of the Yeti.
DRE: Hm-hm.
[KEITH laughs.]
JANINE: Hm-hm, which is eating their own arms.
DRE: Yeah. I played that Stardew Valley mod.
KEITH: I wonder when the– when the Yeti crabs are going to, uh, have their sort of ligamental industrial revolution. Little leg factories.
AUSTIN: I do hate to look at a Yeti crab, by the way. They're gross looking.
JANINE: They're real– They're worse out of water when all their fluffiness, like, clumps together, like bad mascara.
AUSTIN: Oh, I see. Yeah.
DRE: Oh, this is– I've never seen one of these things. Great.
KEITH (overlapping): Oh, yeah. I've seen these. I've seen these in pictures of, like, “ten weird animals you couldn't even fucking imagine!”
AUSTIN: And they're right. I didn't. I wouldn’t’ve.
KEITH: Oh, hey, here's one as a Sonic character. It's the fifth thing on the image results of– for Yeti crab.
JANINE: Man, that's when you're really– you're really, like, deep diving to be original. It's like, “I can't be another hedgehog, echidna, rabbit, cat. I gotta be something cool. I gotta be a Yeti crab. I gotta be–”
AUSTIN: You're trying to, like, come up with something to make someone–
JANINE (overlapping): Snowy the Yeti crab.
KEITH: Right.
AUSTIN: Someone feel… like, what they first felt when they heard of an echidna. Like, “that's not real.” And they're like, damn, that's real.
JANINE: Oh, that's not where I thought you were going. I thought where you were going with that was, you were tr– you were trying to come up with something that makes someone else feel bad about themselves for not knowing it.
AUSTIN: Oh, no.
JANINE: (amused) That’s–
DRE: Heavy.
JANINE: It can be both though.
KEITH: No, I remember that feeling.
AUSTIN (overlapping): Uh-uh. I’m the other way. I wanna– Like, someone who makes the– the joy of discovering the echidna for the first time.
KEITH: I remember five years– being five years old and being like Knuckles the what?
AUSTIN: The who?
KEITH: The what?
AUSTIN: They make that up?
KEITH: The fuckin’ sick ass animal that flies?
JANINE: Yup, that’s them.
DRE: And then it definitely does not, unfortunately.
AUSTIN: You don't know all them.
KEITH: [laughs] No. But it does lay eggs, which is totally underutilized in the Sonic franchise.
AUSTIN: [chuckles] Yes.
DRE: True.
AUSTIN: I’m sure the fans have solved that problem.
SYLVIA (overlapping): That’s actually gonna be a thing in the Sonic movie.
JANINE (overlapping): Is this the same energy that made Crash Bandicoot happen?
DRE: Yeah. God, fucking Idris Elba talking about eggs.
AUSTIN: Idris Elba…
JANINE: I’m really excited about that.
SYLVIA: Idris Elba laying an egg.
DRE: Uh-huh.
[SYLVIA laughs very quietly.]
KEITH: That's just the next movie. It's Idris Elba laying an egg for 90 minutes.
AUSTIN: For nine– I can't wait.
KEITH (overlapping): It's a really, really big egg.
SYLVIA (overlapping): Exactly.
AUSTIN: Incredible– incredible box office hit.
DRE: There's a– [KEITH laughs.] Mhm. Nevermind. Nevermind.
SYLVIA: Oh my God. Okay. Yeah. You know what? I’m gonna let that one pass.
AUSTIN: I like this Sonic character. This is all right.
KEITH (overlapping): It’s not bad.
SYLVIA (overlapping): Yeah, this is actually really cute.
AUSTIN: Yeah. It's unique.
KEITH: It's very funny that it was the fifth thing on the image results for, uh, DuckDuckGo.
DRE: Oh, I also like this Yeti– I don't like the Yeti crab itself.
JANINE: Aww, the–
DRE: But I like the– I like the little guy.
JANINE: Yeah, this is– this reminds me of a Sandshrew, kind of, and I really like a Sandshrew.
AUSTIN (overlapping): Yeah, a hundred percent. Me too. I love a Sandshrew.
KEITH (overlapping): It does sort of look like a Sandshrew, yeah.
JANINE: Very endearing.
AUSTIN: And there are other– there are other Sonic characters that are in this sort of general space, so it's not so outlandish to me.
JANINE: Yeah, I– And I actually really–
KEITH (overlapping): No, it was clearly recognizable as a Sonic OC to me.
JANINE: I like the lack of nose. I feel like every Sonic character has a weird bean nose and I like the absence of it as a nice change of pace. I don't like this other thing. What is this?
DRE: Yeah.
[Crosstalk.]
JANINE: What is this?
KEITH: –which is also an image result that I saw.
JANINE: That's the one who steals faces.
AUSTIN (overlapping): That's a Doctor Who character for sure.
DRE: A hundred percent.
KEITH (overlapping): It absolutely is Doctor Who, yeah.
JANINE (overlapping): Oh, yeah.
KEITH: Yeah. That's what I was thinking.
AUSTIN: Is it actually? Let’s see.
KEITH: I– I couldn't tell. It's from a website called neurodojo.blogspot.com. And I was like, I don't care to click on that.
AUSTIN: I did.
JANINE: Sexy beasts, season two.
AUSTIN: God.
JANINE: Crab man.
AUSTIN: Oh, we've been here before.
KEITH: What?
AUSTIN: We've been to this place before. Who wants–
KEITH: We’ve been to NeuroDojo?
AUSTIN: No, no, no, no. But to this– where this came from. We can get there. Someone can get to this place.
JANINE: Masked Singer?
AUSTIN: No, but close.
SYLVIA: Oh, it's Face Off.
AUSTIN: It’s Face Off!
JANINE: Oh, yeah, sure.
AUSTIN: It's Face Off. The other ones– the other competing– competeting– competitive– Uh, the other costumes are– are from this– this episode. Are… weird.
JANINE: Cute!
AUSTIN: I’m gonna paste them. That Praying Mantis is cute.
JANINE: Cute!
AUSTIN: I don't love this. This I don't love.
JANINE: Oh, no. What is that? That looks like a squid.
KEITH (overlapping): No, I don't love that. But what is Face Off? I thought that was a Nick Cage movie.
AUSTIN: It’s also– Yeah, that’s this–
ART(overlapping): No, that’s what happens to people checking, uh, television listings being very disappointed.
[AUSTIN laughs.]
JANINE: Naked mole-rat?
AUSTIN: Um, it’s a– No, that’s a– that’s a giant sloth.
SYLVIA (overlapping): It's a pr– like, a practical prosthetic makeup competition show.
JANINE (overlapping): Why is it– Why is it skinless? Or furless.
AUSTIN: I think it's a message.
KEITH: Yeah. [laughing] “Back the fuck off.”
JANINE (overlapping): Are these, like, supposed to be like “animal meets horror movie villain?”
AUSTIN: That is what they do, normally.
JANINE: Okay.
AUSTIN: Um, let's see. What's the name of this challenge?
SYLVIA: Um…
AUSTIN: Uh, I got it here. Um…
SYLVIA: “Creature Carnage” is the name of the episode.
AUSTIN: Wow. Okay. Uh, so we're down to the final four. They head to DC Studios, wander through all kinds of different sets until they come to McKenzie in a courthouse set. Uh, there are newspapers besides her talking about giant creatures that have destroyed cities. So, they basically have to make a Gozilla kind of monster to stomp onto world landmarks. Cig is so excited that he’s about to explode. Dina chooses “Mantis Preys On Paris,” Cig chooses “Yeti Crab Crushes Kremlin,” George chooses “Deadly Squid Destroys Dubai” and Drew picks the last one and goes “Giant Sloth Slashes Shanghai.” There's another one here–
JANINE: I’m gonna say, the mantis does not really fulfill this setup in a way that makes me kind of sad.
AUSTIN: (overlapping) I agree.
JANINE: Like she's– I would love to hang out with her, but I don't think she's– Well, I'm sure there are some people who want her to be giant.
AUSTIN: Yes.
DRE: Mm-hm.
AUSTIN: Uh, you know, with more close up on it, I feel like we get some details that make it less cute. It's still kind of cute–
JANINE: But she's wearing a mini dress. And she has platforms.
SYLVIA (overlapping): Yeah. This is literally like how the judging on this show goes.
AUSTIN: Yeah…
[JANINE laughs.]
KEITH: To me, the squid is the one where it's like, it looks sort of like it's a monster, but it also just looks like a guy in weird pajamas.
JANINE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
JANINE: The rigidity of those– of those, um– Are those the ones that are– What's the– There's tentacles and there’s whatever?
AUSTIN: There’s tentacles and there’s tendrils, there’s–
JANINE: No, it’s not tendrils. Arms.
SYLVIA (overlapping): The squid did lose this episode, apparently.
DRE: Fucked up.
AUSTIN: The squid definitely lost.
SYLVIA: Yeah.
KEITH: Yeah, I– I agree.
JANINE (overlapping): It's tentacles versus arms.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
SYLVIA: I bet it was the extra arms.
KEITH (overlapping): Looking at them all– looking at them all, I kind of feel like the Yeti crab is– is up there in the competition. Like, that's–
AUSTIN: The face is nice. I don't think the body works on the Yeti crab.
JANINE: The Yeti crab is like a– is like a Batman 1960s villain.
AUSTIN: Yeah. They did move on, that person did move on.
KEITH: But the theme is like, 40s Godzilla.
SYLVIA: Well, this was the second– like, the second last episode of this season, apparently.
AUSTIN: Yes. Yes.
JANINE: Oh.
AUSTIN: Uh…
SYLVIA: Which I definitely watched, but don't remember this episode at all.
AUSTIN: Uh, Drew got in, the giant sloth won, so goodbye to the squid. Squid lost.
KEITH: Okay.
JANINE: Yeah, the squid just is– it’s a–-
KEITH: Yeah, the squid is bad.
AUSTIN: It's scary. Like, except for the arms.
JANINE: Why are the arms like that?
AUSTIN: Well, the, like, chest cavity, I hate so much that I like it, it wraps back around to me being like, this is terrifying to me. [JANINE: Yeah.] But everything– It's just bad. It's bad.
KEITH: Yeah. It's– Neither of the kinds of legs work, the fake tentacle legs and the actual leg.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Yeah, the actual leg–
SYLVIA: The pants look really bad.
AUSTIN: The pants look bad.
KEITH: They look like– It looks like a bloody–
JANINE: White pants that had a tomato juice accident.
KEITH: It looks like a pin-striped baseball pant with a little blood on it.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
JANINE: A little?
KEITH: With a ni– With an amount of blood, a good amount of blood.
[SYLVIA and JANINE laugh.]
KEITH: It looks like the pin stripes were drawn in blood. Like if this–
SYLVIA: Oh God.
KEITH: If you take those pants and put them on, like, a haunted… baseball player, I think it works better.
SYLVIA: Okay. Sure.
JANINE: Yeah, okay.
AUSTIN: Um, all right.
KEITH: Giant bloody baseball man destroying a city.
SYLVIA: I can tell that one of these legs was just made with a PVC pipe. Anyway.
AUSTIN: [laughs] All right. Time dot is?
DRE: Sure.
AUSTIN: Uh–
DRE: I'm gonna close [?], ‘cause I forgot it was alt-tabbed.
AUSTIN Good call. Don't break your computer.
DRE: Uh, it wouldn't break the computer. It would just make it very warm in here.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
KEITH: Hey, so, how is my fan? Is this good? Like, am I good?
JANINE: I don't hear anything.
DRE: I can’t hear it.
AUSTIN (overlapping): I don’t hear– I don’t think it’s coming through, so we can’t tell.
KEITH: Yeah, I– I set it up as much as I could to not be audible, so.
JANINE: You did it. What time are we–
AUSTIN (overlapping): Yeah, nice work. Uh, 45?
JANINE: Okay.
[Everyone claps.]
[Outro music plays to end.]