Defining bisexuality
- 70s -
- "Explaining her bisexuality, she said, “I believe you fall in love with the person and not the sex.” "
– JoAnne Mitchell, “An Advance of Sisterhood,” in The Lesbian Tide, Volume 2, Issue 5, December, 1972 (p. 11, p. 31)
- “Kate Millet concluded her December, 1974 talk: by lauding "the very wealth and humanity of bisexuality itself: for to exclude from one's love any entire group of human beings because of class, age, or race or religion, or sex, is surely to be poorer - deeply and systematically poorer.”
- "The Bisexual Movement's Beginnings in the 70s", Stephen Donaldson, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995 (this in particular refers to 1974)
- “Historian Martin Duberman (now head of the Center for Lesbian and Gay Studies at the City University of New York) took note in 1974 of the new visibility of bisexuality (he said that in 1973 he had written in his personal journal, "Bisexuals seem to be popping up all over.") and insightfully declared, "It's easier, I believe, for exclusive heterosexuals to tolerate (and that's the word) exclusive homosexuals than those who, rejecting exclusivity, sleep with people not genders ....
To suggest, as practicing bisexuals do, that each of us may contain within ourselves all those supposed diametric opposites we've been taught to divide humanity into is to suggest that we might not know ourselves as well as we like to pretend.”
- "The Bisexual Movement's Beginnings in the 70s", Stephen Donaldson, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995 (this in particular refers to 1974)
- “Margaret Mead in her Redbook magazine column wrote an article titled ‘Bisexuality: What’s It All About?’ in which she cited examples of bisexuality from the distant past as well as recent times, commenting that writers, artists, and musicians especially ‘cultivated bisexuality out of a delight with personality, regardless of race or class or sex.’ ”
- Janet Bode, “From Myth to Maturation,” part of the book View From Another Closet: Exploring Bisexuality in Women, 1976
- “Being bisexual does not mean they have sexual relations with both sexes but that they are capable of meaningful and intimate involvement with a person regardless of gender.”
- Janet Bode, “The Pressure Cooker,” part of the book View From Another Closet: Exploring Bisexuality in Women, 1976
- “[John] reacted emotionally to both sexes with equal intensity. ‘I love people, regardless of their gender,’ he told me.”
- Charlotte Wolff, “Early Influences,” Bisexuality, a Study, 1979
- 80s -
- “Bisexuality, however, is a valid sexual experience. While many gays have experienced bisexuality as a stage in reaching their present identity, this should not invalidate the experience of people for whom sexual & affectional desire is not limited by gender. For in fact many bisexuals experience lesbianism or homosexuality as a stage in reaching their sexual identification.”
- Megan Morrison, “What We Are Doing,” Bi Women: the newsletter of the Boston Bisexual Women's Network, 1984
- “In the midst of whatever hardships we [bisexuals] had encountered, this day we worked with each other to preserve our gift of loving people for who they are regardless of gender.”
- Elissa M., “Bi Conference,” Bi Women: the newsletter of the Boston Bisexual Women’s Network, 1985
- "I believe most of us will end up acknowledging that we love certain people or, perhaps, certain kinds of people, and that gender need not to be a significant category, though for some of us it may be"
- Ruth Hubbard, “There Is No ‘Natural’ Human Sexuality, Bi Women: the Newsletter of Boston Bisexual Women's Network, 1986
- "I am bisexual because I am drawn to particular people regardless of gender"
- Lani Ka'ahumanu, "The Bisexual Community: Are We Visible Yet?", 1987
- “To be bisexual is to have the potential to be open emotionally and sexually to people as people, regardless of their gender.”
- Office Pink Publishing, “Introduction,” Bisexual Lives, 1988
- “We made signs and slashes. My favorite read, ‘When it’s love in all its splendor, it doesn’t matter what the gender.’”
- Beth Reba Weise, “Being There and Being Bi: The National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights,” Bi Women: the Newsletter of Boston Bisexual Women's Network, 1988
- 90s -
- 1990 to 1994 -
- “Do not assume that bisexuality is binary or duogamous in nature [...] In fact, don’t assume that there are only two genders.”
- The Bisexual Manifesto, 1990
- “Bisexual usually also implies that relations with gender minorities are possible.”
- “Many objections have been raised to the use of [“bisexual”], the most common being that it emphasizes two things that, paradoxically, bisexuals are the least likely to be involved with: the dualistic separation of male and female in society, and the physical implications of the suffix ‘-sexual’.”
- Bisexuality: a Reader and Sourcebook, Thomas Geller, 1990
- “Bisexuality works to subvert the gender system and everything it upholds because it is not based on gender… Bisexuality subverts gender; bisexual liberation also depends on the subversion of gender categories.”
- Karin Baker and Helen Harrison, “Letters,” Bi Women: the Newsletter of Boston Bisexual Women's Network, 1990
- “I tell them, whether or not I use the word ‘bisexual,’ that I am proud of being able to express my feelings toward a person, regardless of gender, in whatever way I desire.”
- Naomi Tucker, “What’s in a Name?”, part of the book Bi Any Other Name, 1991
- “In the late sixties and early seventies I was awakening to all the possibilities of my life. I fell in love with people, not genders.”
- Loraine Hutchins, part of the book Bi Any Other Name, 1991
- “Bisexual? My vocabulary had never included that word. Not knowing what bisexual was, I put the ad aside for several months. When I happened to notice the ad again, something told me to check it out. My life was changed forever — I finally found a description for those old feelings deep down inside me. Perhaps if I had had a gay experience earlier in life I would
have gone in a different direction, but I'll never know.
I do know that after I began discovering others who felt loving and erotic feelings for people rather than a specific gender, I could never go back.”
- Nate Brown, “A Gift to Myself”, part of the book Bi Any Other Name, 1991
- “Some women who call themselves ‘bisexual’ insist that the gender of their lover is irrelevant to them, that they do not choose lovers on the basis of gender.”
- Marilyn Murphy, “Thinking About Bisexuality,” Bi Women: the Newsletter of Boston Bisexual Women's Network, 1991
- “Results supported the hypothesis that gender is not a critical variable in sexual attraction in bisexual individuals. Personality or physical dimensions not related to gender and interaction style were the salient characteristics on which preferred sexual partners were chosen, and there was minimal grid distance between preferred male and preferred female partners. These data support the argument that, for some bisexual individuals, sexual attraction is not gender-linked. […] …the dimensions which maximally separate most preferred sexual partners are not gender-based in seven of the nine grids”
- M. W. Ross, J. P. Paul, “Beyond Gender: The Basis of Sexual Attraction in Bisexual Men and Women”, 1992
- “Bisexuals fall in love with a person, not a gender”
- A bisexual’s survey response in Closer to Home: Bisexuality and Feminism, Weise, 1992
- “[S]ome bisexuals say they are blind to the gender of their potential lovers and that they love people as people… For the first group, a dichotomy of genders between which to choose doesn’t seem to exist[.]”
- Kathleen Bennett, “Feminist Bisexuality, a Both/And Option for an Either/Or World,” Closer to Home: Bisexuality and Feminism, 1992
- “To be bisexual is to have the potential to be open emotionally and sexually to people as people, regardless of their gender”
- Sex and Sexuality: A Thematic Dictionary of Quotations, 1993
- “The expressed desires of [female bisexual] respondents differed in many cases from their experience. 37 respondents preferred women as sexual partners; 9 preferred men. 21 women had no preference, and 35 said they preferred sex with particular individuals, regardless of gender.”
- Sue George, “Living as bisexual,” Women and Bisexuality, 1993
- 1995 -
- “The bisexual community should be a place where lines are erased. Bisexuality dismisses, disproves, and defies dichotomies. It connotes a loss of rigidity and absolutes. It is an inclusive term.”
- “Essay for the Inclusion of Transsexuals”, Martin-Damon, K., part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- “Part of the transgressivity of bisexuality is that it says love knows no gender. Such gender subversion is something many people find threatening about bisexuality.”
- “Fluid Desire: Race, HIV / AIDS, and Bisexual Politics”, Elias Farajajé-Jones, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- “As bisexuals, we are necessarily prompted to come up with non-binary ways of thinking about sexual orientation. For many of us, this has also prompted a move toward non-binary ways of thinking about sex and gender.”
- “Your Fence Is Sitting on Me: The Hazards of Binary Thinking”, Rebecca Kaplan, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- "Some of us are bisexual because we do not pay much attention to the gender of our attractions"
- “The Natural Next Step”, Naomi Tucket, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- “If anything, being bi has made me hyper-aware of the sexual differences between [men and women]. And I still get hot for both. But I do experience something that is similar to gender blindness. It’s this: being bisexual means I could potentially find myself sexually attracted to anybody. Therefore, as a bisexual, I don’t make the distinction that monosexuals do between the gender you fuck and the gender you don’t.”
- “Bi Sexuality”, Greta Christina, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- “And all the while, busy bisexuals are having sex: with women, with men, with both at once; with partners whose gender is unclear, fluid, or mixed…”
- “ "Sexual preference" has become a synonym for "sexual orientation" and refers to the genders of desired sexual partners, but there is a great deal more to sexual desire than gender, a fact bisexuals probably know better than anyone.”
- “Sexual Diversity and Bisexual Identity”, Carol Queen, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- “Many bisexuals, myself included, feel we are attracted to people for qualities other than biological equipment. So, as a bisexual, when I am considering someone a possible partner for erotic interaction, their gender is not necessarily first priority.”
- “Bisexuality and S/M: The Bi Switch Revolution”, Cecilia Tan, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- “And so we love each other and wish love for each other, regardless (to the extent possible) of gender and sex.”
- “If Half of You Dodges a Bullet, All of You Ends Up Dead,”, Oma Izakson, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- “Similarly, the modern bisexual movement has dissolved the strict dichotomy between “gay” and “straight” (without invalidating our homosexual or heterosexual friends and lovers.) We have insisted on our desire and freedom to love people of all genders.”
- “Pansies Against Patriarchy,” Sunfrog, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- “Is bisexuality even about gender at all? ‘I don’t desire a gender,’ 25[-]year-old Matthew Ehrlich says.”
- Deborah Block-Schwenk, “Newsweek Comes Out as Supportive,” Bi Women: the Newsletter of Boston Bisexual Women's Network, 1995
- “Some bisexual respondents bypass the issue of ‘degrees’ of attraction to women and men by defining bisexuals as a humanistic, gender-blind way of relating to others. They see bisexuality as a way of loving the person, not their sex, or being nondiscriminatory in their attractions to others. For example, Ludwica wrote, 'I feel as if I’m open to respond to the person, not just the gender.’ ”
- “Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics: Sex, Loyalty, and Revolution” by Paula C. Rust, 1995
- 1996 to 1998 -
- “Most conceptual models of bisexuality explain it in terms of conflictual or confused identity development, [r-slur] sexual development, or a defence against ‘true’ heterosexuality or homosexuality. It has been suggested, however, that some individuals can eroticize more than one love object regardless of gender, that sexual patterns could be more variable and fluid than theoretical notions tend to allow, and that sexual desire may not be as fixed and static in individuals as is assumed by ‘essential’ sexual categories and identities.”
- E.Antonio de Moya and Rafael García, “AIDS and the Enigma of Bisexuality in the Dominican Republic,” Bisexualities and AIDS: International Perspectives, 1996
- “I’m bi. That simply means I can be attracted to a person without consideration of their gender.”
- E. Grace Noonan, “Out on the Job: DEC Open to Bi Concerns,” Bi Women: the Newsletter of Boston Bisexual Women's Network, 1996
- "Bisexual - being emotionally and physically attracted to all genders.”
- GLSEN, Out Of The Past guidebook, 1998
- "The probability is that your relationship is based on, or has nestled itself into something based more on the relationship between two identities than on the relationship between two people. That's what we're taught: man/man, woman/woman, woman/man, top/bottom, butch/femme, man/woman/man, etc. We're never taught person/person. That's what the bisexual community has been trying to teach us."
- My Gender Workbook, Kate Bornstein, 1998
- “A large group of bisexual women reported in a Ms. magazine article that when they fell in love it was with a person rather than a gender…”
- Betty Fairchild and Nancy Hayward, “What is Gay?”, Now that You Know: A Parents’ Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesbian Children, 1998
- “Over the past fifteen years, however, [one Caucasian man] has realized that he is ‘attracted to people — not their sexual identity’ and no longer cares whether his partners are male or female. He has kept his Bi identity and now uses it to refer to his attraction to people regardless of their gender.”
- Paula C. Rust, “Sexual Identity and Bisexual Identities,” Queer Studies: A Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Anthology, 1998
- 2000s -
- “Respondent #658 said that both are irrelevant; ‘who I am sexually attracted to has nothing to do with their sex/gender,’ whereas Respondent #418 focuses specifically on the irrelevance of sex: I find myself attracted to either men or women. The outside appendages are rather immaterial, as it is the inner being I am attracted to. […] Respondent #495 recalled that “the best definition I’ve ever heard is someone who is attracted to people & gender/sex is not an issue or factor in that attraction.” […] As Respondent #269 put it, “I do not exclude a person from consideration as a possible love interest on the basis of sex/gender.” […] For most individuals who call themselves bisexual, bisexual identity reflects feelings of attraction, sexual and otherwise, toward women and men or toward other people regardless of their gender.”
- Paula C. Rust, “Two Many and Not Enough: The Meanings of Bisexual Identities”, Journal of Bisexuality, 2000
- “Giovanni’s distinction between what he wants and who he wants resonates with the language of many of today’s bisexuals, who insist that they fall in love with a person, not a gender.”
- Marjorie Garber, Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life (2000)
- “The message of bisexuality — that people are more than their gender; that we accept all people, regardless of Kinsey scale rating; that we embrace people regardless of age, weight, clothing, hair style, gender expression, race, religion and actually celebrate our diversity — that message is my gospel. I travel, write, do web sites — all to let people know that the bisexual community will accept you, will let you be who you are, and will not expect you to fit in a neat little gender/sexuality box.”
- Wendy Curry, “Celebrating Bisexuality,” Bi Women: the Newsletter of Boston Bisexual Women's Network, 2000
- “But really, just like I can’t believe in the heterosexist binary gender system, I have difficulty accepting wholeheartedly any one spiritual tradition.”
- Anonymous, “A Methodical Awakening,” Bi Women: the Newsletter of Boston Bisexual Women's Network, 2002
- “But there are also many bis, such as myself, for whom gender has no place in the list of things that attract them to a person. For instance, I like people who are good listeners, who understand me and have interests similar to mine, and I am attracted to people with a little padding here and there, who have fair skin and dark hair (although I’m pretty flexible when it comes to looks). ‘Male’ or ‘female’ are not anywhere to be found in the list of qualities I find attractive.”
- Bisexual Basis, Karin Baker, 2002
- “Bisexual people are those for whom gender is not the first criteria in determining attraction.”
- Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and Youth Suicide, Illinois Department of Public Health, 2003
- “Bisexual: A person who is attracted to people regardless of gender (a person does not have to have a relationship to be bisexual!)”
- Bowling Green State University, “Queer Glossary”, 2003
- “The bisexual community seems to be disappearing. Not that there won’t always be people around who like to have sex with people of all genders, the community, as I’ve discussed in this book, is a different matter altogether.”
- William Burleson, Bi America: Myths, Truths, and Struggles of an Invisible Community, 2005
- 2009 -
- “I introduce myself as bisexual, because I am attracted to people, across gender lines, and ‘bisexual’ comes closest to explaining that.”
- B.J. Epstein, “Bye Bi Labels,” Bi Women Quarterly vol 27 no.3, 2009
- “Amy: […] But my friend’s question got me thinking: given the fact that so many bisexual friends and community members reject the idea that gender has to have a relation to attraction and behavior, why should I reject the bi label? Why did her question even come up? How relevant is gender to the concept of bisexuality? If bisexuals like me don’t care about gender the way monosexuals do, why would my identity label exclude my lovers’ gender variations?
Kim:…Like you, I’m a bi person who sees gender as fluid rather than fixed or dichotomous… I’ve also felt outside pressure to reject my bi identity based on the idea that it perpetuates the gender binary: woman/man.
However, this idea reduces bisexual to “bi” and “sexual” and disregards the fact that it represents a history, a community, a substantial body of writing, and the right of the bi community to define “bisexuality” on its own terms. Most importantly, this idea disregards how vital these things are for countless bi people.
Identifying as bi doesn’t inherently mean anything, and it definitely doesn’t inherently mean a person only recognizes two genders.
However, to assume that bi-identified people exclude transgender, gender nonconforming (GNC), and genderqueer people also assumes they are not trans, GNC, or genderqueer themselves, when in fact, many are.
Of course, there are plenty of cisgender [those whose gender identity matches the behavior or role considered appropriate for their sex] bi people who are transphobic or assume there is little variation in gender expression, just as many gay, lesbian, queer, and straight people do.
This is a prevalent and problematic attitude we should all be working against, but not by abandoning the word bisexual and all the good things it represents.”
- Kim Westrick and Amy Andre, “Semantic Wars”, Bi Women Quarterly vol. 27 no. 4, Fall 2009
- “Bisexuality is not some kind of middle-ground between heterosexuality and homosexuality; rather I imagine it as a way to erode the fixed systems of gender and sexual identity which always result in guilt, fear, lies[,] and discrimination.”
- Carlos Iván Suárez García, “What Is Bisexuality?”, Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition, 2009
- “To me, bisexuality is a matter of loving and accepting everyone equally — seeing the beauty in the human soul, rather than in the shell that houses it. Being transgender, I know firsthand that love between two people can transcend — even embrace — what society regards as taboo. Bisexuality is a mindset of revolution, a mindset of change. We’re creating a brave new world of acceptance and love for all people, of all the myriad genders and methods of sexual expression that this world contains.”
- Jessica, “What Is Bisexuality?”, Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition, 2009
- “Bisexuality (whatever that means) for me is about the ability to relate to all people at a deep emotional level. It is an openness of the heart. It is the absence of limits, especially those that are defined by the other person’s sex.”
- Andrea Toselli, “Coming Out Bisexual,” Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition, 2009
- “Considering my personal preferences, calling myself ‘bisexual’ covers a wider territory regarding my capacity to fall in love and to share the life of a couple with another person without taking into consideration questions of gender.”
- Aida, “Why Bi?”, Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition, 2009
- “I’m sure I’m bisexual because I can’t ignore the allure and loveliness of a wide spectrum of people — differentiating by gender never seemed attractive or even logical to me. […] For me bisexuality means I don’t stop attraction, caring or relationship potential based on gender; I can have sex, flirtation or warm ongoing love with anyone (not everyone, okay? That part’s a myth). […] And we have enough trouble splitting the human race into two halves, assigning mandatory characteristics, and then torturing people to fill arbitrary roles — I consider that a wrong and inaccurate way to understand human potential, and that’s also why I’m bi. Men and women are different? Honey, everyone I’ve ever met has been different. I think being bisexual lets me see each person as an individual.”
- Carol Queen, “Why Bi?”, Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition, 2009
- “But to hell with respectability: the real point about being bisexual, a friend pointed out, is that you’re asking someone other than ‘What sex is this person?’”
- Tom Robinson, “Bisexual Community,” Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition, 2009
- “Being bisexual… allows us to love each other regardless of our gender…”
- Jorge Pérez Castiñeira, “Bisexual Community,” Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition, 2009
- “‘Hello, my name is Jaqueline Applebee… if you want to see me later, or just want a kiss, let me know as I’m bisexual, and you’re all gorgeous!’ […] I have loved men, women, and those who don’t identify with any gender.”
- Jaqueline Applebee, “Bisexual Community,” Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition, 2009
- “[T]here’s nothing binary about bisexuals. Bi is just a provisional term reminding us, however awkwardly, that when it comes to loving, family and tribe, margins and middle intertwine.”
- Loraine Hutchins, “Bisexual Politics,” Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition, 2009
- “My bi identity is not about who I am having sex with; it is not about the genitals of my past, current, or future lovers; it is not about choosing potential partners or excluding partners based on what is between their legs. It is about potential — the potential to love, to be attracted to, to be intimate with, share a life with a person because of who they are. I see a person, not a gender… I demand to be free to legally marry anyone without regard to their gender.”
- Rifka Reichler, “Bisexual Politics,” Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition, 2009
- 2010s -
- “To me, being bisexual means having a sexuality that isn’t limited by the sex or gender of the people you are attracted to. You just recognize that you can be attracted to a person for very individual reasons.”
- Deb Morley, “Bi of the Month: An Interview with Ellyn Ruthstorm,” Bi Women: the Newsletter of Boston Bisexual Women's Network, 2010
- “Q: Which gender person does a bisexual love?
A: Any gender she wants.”
- Marcia Deihl, “Do Clothes Make the Woman?”, Bi Women, : the Newsletter of Boston Bisexual Women's Network, 2010
- “While the bisexual manifesto being written following a workshop at London BiCon is still being worked on, the tweeters set to work on a shorter, snappier alternative… ‘Love is about what’s in your hearts, not your underwear.’ […] ‘We aren’t more confused, greedy, indecisive or lustful than anyone else. We like people based on personality not gender.’ ‘[W]e believe that lust is more important than anatomy.’ ‘What you have between your legs doesn’t matter. What you have between your ears does[.]’”
- Jen Yockney, “#bisexualmanifesto,” Bi Community News, 2010
- "Thus “bisexuality” became a new political identity, rather than, as gay liberationists had believed, a normal human ability to be sexually attracted to other humans irrespective of gender."
- Dennis Altman, "Homosexual: Oppression and Liberation" (this was written in the introduction to the 2012 edition - the first edition was published in 1971)
- “As briefly mentioned above and interlinked with the notion of ‘importance of individuality’, the binary concepts of gender and the stereotypes surrounding these is a notion which each of the [bisexual] women interviewed fundamentally reject. The participants here were keen to distance themselves and their experiences of romantic relationships from any notion of heteronormative gender boundaries, although they did agree that unfortunately these gender boundaries still exist in contemporary society. Most participants do not link gender boundaries with concepts of romantic love; it was stated that although sometimes gender boundaries can be seen in romantic relationships this is primarily down to socialisation and the unnecessary importance that heteronormative society places on gender roles. Therefore, gender boundaries seen in romantic relationships are not constrained by gender but instead are a product of gendered socialisation. For these women, claiming their bisexual identity and their romantic relationships illustrates the futility of binary concepts of gender as it is about individual preference or style rather than gendered norms values and expectations.”
- Emma Smith, “Bisexuality, Gender & Romantic Relationships,” Bi Community News, 2012
- “And anyway, I’m generally not sexually attracted to men or women. I’m into all sorts of things, but a person being a man or a woman isn’t a turn-on. Certainly not in the same way it’s a turn off to a gay or straight person. I’m never going to think “Wow, Zie is really sexy, shame they’re a ____” because what turns me off isn’t gender.”
- Marcus, “What makes a bisexual?”, Bi Community News, 2012
- “I am bisexual. That does not depend on my dating experience or my attraction specifications. It is not affected by my dislike for genitals (of any shape). All it describes is how gender affects attraction for me: it doesn’t. I am attracted to people regardless of gender, and I am bisexual.”
- Emma Jones, “Not Like the Others,” Bi Women Quarterly vol 31 no.4, 2013
- “I’m generally okay with ‘attraction to more than one gender’ [as a definition of ‘bisexuality’]. I think that the ‘more than’ part is important because there are definitely more than two genders. Some people like the definition ‘attraction regardless of gender’ and I like that too because it suggests that things other than gender can be equally, or more, important in who we are attracted to. I like to question why our idea of sexuality is so bound up with gender of partners. Why not encompass other aspects such as the roles we like to take sexually, or how active or passive we like to be, or what practices we enjoy? Why is our gender, and the gender of our partners, seen as such a vital part of who we are?”
- Robyn Ochs, “Around the World: Meg Barker,” Bi Women Quarterly vol 31 no.4, 2013
- “It may sound crazy but I’d never thought that carefully about the ‘bi’ part of the word meaning ‘two’. I’d always understood bisexuality to mean what Bobbie Petford reports as the preferred definition from within the UK bi communities: changeable ‘sexual and emotional attraction to people of any sex, where gender may not be a defining factor’. […] Participants in the BiCon discussion rejected the ‘you are a boy or you are a girl…binary’ (Lanei), all arguing that they were not straightforwardly ‘masculine’ or ‘feminine’.
- […] Because they discarded the dichotomous understanding of gender, participants rejected the ideas that they were attracted to ‘both’ men and women, arguing that they did not perceive gender as the defining feature in their attraction. Kim said: I don’t think actually gender is that relevant…gender is like eye colour, and I notice it sometimes, and sometimes it can be a bit of a feature it’s like “oo, that’s nice” and I have some sorts of gender types, but it’s about as important as something like eye colour.
- […] As I came to realise that you can actually be bisexual…your desires and your attractions can wax and wane as time goes on, I realised that there was a parallel to gender: you don’t have to clearly define, you don’t have to cast off the male to be female and vice versa. Despite the fact that the conventional definition of the word ‘bisexual’ could be seen as perpetuating a dichotomous concept of gender, being attracted to both sexes, Georgina concluded that it could challenge conventional understandings of gender…”
- “Bisexuality & Gender,” Bi Community News, 2014
- “It is the job of those of us with links to children to continue to promote the language of bisexuality and validity of attraction to all genders — especially when that attraction changes over time.”
- Bethan, “Practical Bi Awareness: Teaching and LGBT,” Bi Community News, 2016
- “I call myself bisexual because it includes attraction to all genders (same as mine; different from mine). I call myself bisexual because it’s a label with a long, honorable history. Bisexual people have been at the forefront of LGBTQ liberation movements from their earliest days. I don’t want to negate that history or dishonor my foremothers and forefathers by claiming some new, trendy label for myself.”
- Rev. Francesca Bongiorno Fortunato, Bi Women Quarterly vol.34 no. 3, Summer 2016
- “The persistent use of the Kinsey Scale is another issue. Originally asking about the genders of people you have had sex with, more recently it gets deployed in more sophisticated ways which distinguish between sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and sexual activity. Nonetheless it is woefully inadequate in accounting for attraction to genders other than male and female — a key part of many bisexual people’s experience.”
- Milena Popova, “Scrap the Kinsey Scale!”, Bi Community News, 2016
- “Robyn Ochs states where the EuroBiCon also stands for: bisexuality goes beyond the binary gender thinking. There are more genders than the obsolete idea of two: male and female.”
- Erwin, “Robyn Ochs: ‘Bisexuality goes beyond the binary gender thinking’,” European Bisexual Conference, 2016
- “Loving a person rather than a man or a woman: this is Runa Wehrli’s philosophy. At 18, she defines herself as bisexual and speaks about it openly. […] She believes that love should not be confined by the barriers put up by society. ‘I fall in love with a person and not a gender,’ she says. […] Now single and just out of high school, she is leaving the door open to love, while still refusing to give it a gender.”
- Katy Romy, “‘I fall in love with a person and not a gender’,” Swissinfo, 2017
- “I’m bisexual so I can’t really come out as gay. When I’m gay I’m very gay. And when I’m with men then, you know, I’m with men. I don’t fall in love with people because of their gender.”
- Nan Goldin for Sleek Magazine, 2017
- “I use the word bisexual — a lot
I’ve marched in the Pride parade with the Toronto Bisexual Network
I post Bi pride & Bi awareness articles all over social media
I’m seeking out dates of any and all genders
(not to prove anything to anyone, but simply because I want to)
- D’Arcy L. J. White, “Coming Out as Bisexual,” Bi Women Quarterly vol. 35 no. 4, 2017
- “Being bisexual does not assume people are only attracted to just two genders. Bisexuality can be limitless for many and pay no regard to the sex or gender of a person.”
- The Bi+ Manifesto, 2018
- “In the heat of July [2009], and finally equipped with a word for “attracted to people regardless of gender”, I bounded out of Brighton station with that same best friend. At the time, I didn’t know that we bisexuals have our own flag…”
- Lois Shearing, “Why London Pride’s first bi pride float was so important,” The Queerness, 2018
- “I realized I was bisexual at age fifteen, but although I am attracted to folks of any gender, I’ve always had a preference for men.”
- Mark Mulligan, “Fight and Flight: ‘Butch Flight,’ Trans Men, and the Elusive Question of Authenticity,” Nursing Clio, 2018
- “I tend to define my sexuality as ‘attraction regardless of gender’ ”
- “It means gender is not a limiting factor when considering who I might want to be in a sexual relationship with. It’s that simple, yet it’s also highly political/intellectual; it’s about making up my own mind about people, taking into account everything that is important to me and not ruling people in or out arbitrarily on the basis of one characteristic”
- “In essence it means that not everyone I am attracted to is the same gender. It also means that gender isn’t the primary determining factor in whether I am likely to be attracted to someone. That’s not to say that I’m never attracted to people’s gender. I tend to find it attractive when people have given some thought to gender-related things or when they do their gender in interesting or non-standard ways - but other factors are way more important. I also identify as queer.”
- “Theoretically, my bisexuality means that I am sexually and romantically attracted to people across the gender spectrum. In real life it means no, I’m not a lesbian, as is generally assumed”
- Claiming the B in LGBT: Illuminating the Bisexual Narrative, Harrad, Kate, Williams, H. Sharif, 2018
- “Bisexuality just became, to me, about that openness — that openness to anything, and any potential to any type of relationship, regardless of gender. Gender is no longer a disqualifier for me. It’s about the person.”
- Rob Cohen, “Where Are All the Bi Guys?,” Two Bi Guys, 2019
- “Oh no, Mom. I’m not a lesbian. Actually, I’m bisexual. That means that gender doesn’t determine whom I’m attracted to.”
- Annie Bliss, “Older and Younger,” Bi Women Quarterly vol. 37 no. 4, 2019
- 2020 -
- “It’s OK to be attracted to multiple genders and even people outside of gender. It’s more than OK, it’s beautiful. Being bisexual is not something to hide because I am in a place where I can safely say, I am an out bisexual man and I will never go back in that closet again.”
- David Kaye, writer and musician, on the article “12 People Share How They Knew They Were Bisexual” by Brittany Wong, Huffpost.com, 2020
- Date Unknown -
- "Bisexuality is not limited by sex nor, by extension, by gender. Imposing gender limitations upon bisexuality is, in itself, a form of bi erasure."
- “Bisexuality is an identity for which sex and gender are not a boundary to attraction. Heterosexuality and homosexuality, on the other hand, are defined by the boundary of two sexes/genders. Given those fundamental facts, any talk of bisexuality reinforcing a gender binary is misplaced. Over time, our society’s concept of human sex and gender may well change. For bisexuals, people for whom sex/gender is already not a boundary, any such change would have little effect. Why then, would bisexuality be even remotely to blame for reinforcing a “false gender binary?”
- Bi.org (date unknown)
- “Please also note that attraction to both same and different means attraction to all. Bisexuality is inherently inclusive of everyone, regardless of sex or gender.
In everyday language, depending on the speaker’s culture, background, and politics, that translates into a variety of everyday definitions such as:
Attraction to men and women
Attraction to all sexes or genders
Attraction to same and other genders
Love beyond gender
Attraction regardless of sex or gender”
- “What Is Bisexuality?,” Bi.org (date unknown)
- “Assuming that all bisexuals are never attracted to trans or genderqueer folk is harmful, not only to bi individuals, but to trans and genderqueer individuals who choose to label themselves as bi.”
- BiResource (date unknown)
- “My own understanding of bisexuality has changed dramatically over the years. I used to define bisexuality as ‘the potential to be attracted to people regardless of their gender.’ […] Alberto is attracted to the poles, to super-masculine guys and super-feminine girls. Others are attracted to masculinity and/or femininity, regardless of a person’s sex. Some of us who identify as bisexual are in fact ‘gender-blind.’ For others — in fact for me — it’s androgyny or the blending of genders that compels.”
- Robyn Ochs, “What Does It Mean to Be Bi+?”, Bisexual Resource Center, (date unknown)
The inclusion of transgender and nonbinary people in bisexual spaces
- “There were a lot of transvestites and transsexuals who came to [the San Francisco Bisexual Center in the 1970s], because they were not going to be turned away because of the way they dressed.”
- David Lourea in “Bisexual Histories in San Francisco in the 1970s and Early 1980s,” Dworkin, 2000, Journal of Bisexuality
- “The Bisexual Center is united in struggling for the rights of all women and men to develop as whole, androgynous beings.”
- Bisexual Center Philosophy and Objectives Statement, 1977
- “On Saturday, February 9, San Francisco’s Bisexual Center will conduct a Gender/Sexuality Workshop. ‘We will explore the interrelationships of gender feelings and sexual preference… We will discuss sexuality and whether we choose to play out the gender role assigned to us by society or whether we can shift to attitudes supposedly held by the opposite gender, if those feel good to us. We will deal with the issue of the TV/TS [transvestite/transsexual] in transition and how sexuality evolves as gender role changes. We will attempt to present a summary of the fragmented and confusing information on gender and sexuality.’”
- The Gateway, 1980
- “The actual lived non-binary history of the bisexual community and movement and the inclusive culture and community spirit of bisexuals are eradicated when a binary interpretation of our name for ourselves is arbitrarily assumed.”
-“Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out” by Lani Ka’ahumanu
- “Despite how we choose to identify ourselves, the bisexual community still seems a logical place for transsexuals to find a home and a voice. Bisexuals need to educate themselves on transgender issues. At the same time, bisexuals should be doing education and outreach to the transsexual community, offering transsexuals an arena to further explore their sexualities and choices. Such outreach would also help break down gender barriers and misconceptions within the bisexual community itself. […] If the bisexual community turns its back on transsexuals, it is essentially turning its back on itself.”
- “Essay for the Inclusion of Transsexuals”, Martin-Damon, K., part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- “With respect to our integrity as bisexuals, it is our responsibility to include transgendered people in our language, in our communities, in our politics, and in our lives.”
- “The Natural Next Step”, Naomi Tucket, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- “Many bisexuals minimize the emphasis on sex and gender, and bisexual spaces may be more welcoming to people of nontraditional, indeterminate, or uncertain gender identity than are strictly heterosexual or strictly homosexual spaces (which are often segregated by sex).
Many transgendered people cannot be unambiguously classified in traditional sexual orientation terms because such terms presuppose a fixed binary notion of sex and gender.
Even if they do not identify as bisexual (many feel that the very term is too binary!) they may feel more comfortable in a bi community in which attraction to all sexes and genders is accepted.
Bi spaces tend to be among the few contexts in which people of varied sexual and gender identities can interact with one another socially, sexually, and politically.”
- “Many bisexuals share with some transgendered people the desire to de-emphasize binary gender categories and to deconstruct inflexible gender roles.”
- “Bisexuals who base their attractions on individual characteristics other than sex/gender may feel that the sex/gender of one's desired partner(s) is a bizarre foundation upon which to build an identity, a community, or a movement. For some bisexuals, the real goal is to move beyond dichotomies such as gay/straight and male/female, not simply to add a third box labelled "bisexual" or to re-Iabel one box as "LesBiGay(Trans)." This rejection of the dichotomy between sexualities and genders is the most radical potential of bi- sexuality.”
- “Identities and Ideas: Strategies for Bisexuals”, Liz A. Highleyman, part of the book Bisexual Politics: Theories, Queries and Visions, edited by Naomi Tucket, 1995
- “In the bisexual movement as a whole, transgendered individuals are celebrated not only as an aspect of the diversity of the bisexual community, but, because like bisexuals, they do not fit neatly into dichotomous categories.”
- “Bisexuality and the Challenge to Lesbian Politics” by Paula C. Rust, 1995
- “Bisexuality is here defined as the capacity , regardless of the sexual identity label one chooses , to love and sexually desire both same - and other - gendered individuals. The term other-gendered is used here deliberately and is preferable to the term opposite - gendered , because other - gendered encompasses a recognition of the existence of transgendered and transsexual individuals, who may embrace gender identities other than [male and female]”
-“Bisexuality: The Psychology and Politics of an Invisible Minority” by Beth A. Firestein and Dallas Denny, 1996
- “From the earliest years of the bi community, significant numbers of TV/TS and transgender people have always been involved in it. The bi community served as a kind of refuge for people who felt excluded from the established lesbian and gay communities.”
- Kevin Lano, “Bisexuality and Transgenderism”, Anything That Moves, 1998
- “BiCon should accept transgender people as being on their chosen gender, this includes any single gender events.”
- BiCon Guidelines, 1998
- “Transsexuality and bisexuality both occupy heretical thresholds of human experience. We confound, illuminate and explore border regions. We challenge because we appear to break inviolable laws. Laws that feel ‘natural.’ And quite possibly, since we are not the norm or even average, it is likely that one function we have is to subvert those norms or laws; to break down the sleepy and unimaginative law of averages.”
- Max Wolf Valerio, “The Joker Is Wild: Changing Sex + Other Crimes of Passion,” Anything That Moves, 1998
- “Although bisexuals in general may or may not be more enlightened about gender issues, there has been, and continues to be, in most places around the country a strong connection between the transgender and the bisexual communities. Indeed, the two communities have been strong allies. Why is this? One reason certainly is, as I mentioned earlier, the significant number of people who are both bisexual and transgender.”
- William Burleson, Bi America: Myths, Truths, and Struggles of an Invisible Community, 2005
- “The [intracommunity biphobia] problem is very serious, because bisexuals, along with trans folks, are the rejects among rejects, that is to say, those who suffer from discrimination (gays and lesbians) discriminate against bis and trans folks. It is for this reason, at least here in Mexico City, that Opción Bi allies itself with transsexuals, transgender people and transvestites, and works together with them whenever possible. It seems to me we are closer to the trans communities than to the lesbian and gay ones.”
- Robyn Ochs, “Bis Around the World: Myriam Brito, Mexican City,” Bi Women (2009)
Other relevant quotes
- “J: Are we ever going to be able to define what bisexuality is?
S: Never completely. That’s just it – the variety of lifestyles that we see between us defies definition.”
- Boston Bisexual Women’s Network Newsletter, January 1984
- “When homophobia hits, we don’t get just half fired from our jobs (put on half time, perhaps?). We don’t get just half gaybashed when we are out with our same sex lovers (“Oh please, only hit me on my left side. You see, I’m bisexual!”)”
- “Gay Liberation…Is Our Liberation” by Robyn Ochs, Boston Bisexual Women’s Network Newsletter, September 1987
- "An androgynous person need not be bisexual, and a bisexual need not be androgynous. But androgyny is nevertheless a word to reckon with when considering the future of bisexuality, first because it has become a more familiar (and less frightening) archetype in popular consciousness and culture, and second because, conjoined with androgyny, bisexuality becomes the unification of dual attractions. Obviously the more we recognize the androgynous aspects of our being, the better we understand and more intimately we can relate to each other, within and across gender boundaries."
- Fritz Klein, The Bisexual Option, second edition, 1993
- "By challenging this heterosexual/homosexual split and the construction of the 'sexual other', the bisexual movement provides a theoretical framework to resist all dualisms and constructions of ‘otherness’ - constructions which fracture our selves and society, and enable hatred and violence of all kinds to continue.
That bisexuality resists these splits is hinted at in the anxieties bisexuals create for both heterosexuals and lesbians and gays. Biphobia is often articulated around fears of contamination, vividly demonstrated in the conflation of biphobia and AIDS phobia. Heterosexuals accuse bisexual men of spreading AIDS to them, while some lesbians accuse bisexual women of carrying AIDS into the lesbian community.
The assumption on the part of both heterosexuals and lesbians here is that they exist in a world apart from each other.
The destruction bisexuals are accused of wreaking is sometimes metaphorical: some lesbians and gay men, embracing the straight / queer split as a source of personal and community identity, accuse bisexuals of destroying the 'purity’ of their movement and community through a presence which they biphobically view as confused, confusing, and straight-tainted.
Much to the anxiety of those who imagine themselves on one or the other ‘side’, bisexual existence brings the straight and gay worlds together, attesting to the existence of a sexual continuum, rather than two separate worlds separated by an impenetrable fence."
- Bisexual Horizons: Politics, Histories, Lives, Off Pink Collective, Lawrence and Wishart, 1996
- “The word bisexual makes me cringe at times, but saying I’m heterosexual or a lesbian feels inaccurate - regardless of who I am in a relationship with. So, cringing all the while, I use the label. Because of my relationship to the term feminist, I have learned that cringing is often a sign of unfinished political business: the label bi sounds bad because, at least in some ways, bisexuals are an unliberated, invisible, and disparaged social group.”
- Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics, Jennifer Baumgardner, 2007
- “Five Simple Reasons Why the “Binary” Argument Holds No Water:
1.) Historical context is important, so it's critical to note that, similar to “homosexuality” and “lesbianism,” “bisexuality” is a word reclaimed by the bisexual movement from the medical institution (specifically the DSM III which pronounced it a mental disease). The bi community itself had little to no influence over the formation and structure of the word, and simply did what gays and lesbians did: empowered their communities by claiming the word for themselves. Of course, no one would say that miserable people can't be "gay" because they're not happy or upbeat all the time. Nor are lesbians restricted to women who hail from the Greek island of Lesbos.
2.) For many bisexuals, the "bi" in "bisexual" refers not to male plus female, but to attraction to genders like our own, plus attraction to genders different from our own. In other words, it's the ability to move in two directions along a continuum of multiple genders.
3.) The bisexual movement emerged around the same time as the transgender movement. Thus, in its early stages, no language was available for the description of attraction to non-binary sexes and genders.
4.) The bisexual community cannot oppress the trans community (which is part of what these misconceptions claim) because we are not privileged among queers. In other words, we ourselves are being erased, just as is the trans community.
5.) Historically (and very much currently), the bisexual community has been one of the most accepting places toward transgender and genderqueer people. Our communities have always shared a very strong alliance.”
- "Way Beyond the Binary" ,Biresource.net, 2013
- “Bisexual movements don't get enough credit for breaking the either/or of sexual orientation. And they did it long before gender scholars, activists and radicals came on the scene.”
- "My new Gender Workbook", Kate Bornstein, 2013
Relevant articles
- Why I Claim Bisexuality by ELIEL CRUZ, Advocate.com, 2015
Articles written on Medium by Kravitz M., a “black, bisexual, nonbinary transgender man writing things under a fake name”:
Useful links