Thank you all for the beautiful labor and engagement on this document. It has been closed for further additions, but will remain for engagement, growth, and learning. Love to all our communities of parenting peoples. - Evelyn Hunter, Jan 2022
Mothers (and Aunts, Grands, Play Cousins, Fathers, Villages) of Color: Please include your visions for anti-racist education - what do you hope your neighbors, co-workers, friends will teach their kids to make the world better for the kids you love? I thank you for your labor here.
White Mothers (and Fathers & Parents): Please take some time to choose a strategy or two or twenty and engage this in your homes and places of influence. We thank you for fighting this fight with us.
Raising a (White) Anti-Racist Kid
Wisdom, Hopes, Dreams, & Wishes
from Mothers (and those that love like mothers) of Color
You asked for words of wisdom to engage anti-racist education with your kids, and this is labor that I am so happy to give - but it is also a long and enduring labor, so I would like to give my major thoughts about teaching anti-racism and I hope that this will provide a framework for you to pick up the labor from here for the long haul.
a) Be honest. It is of course important to teach your kids the historical reference of slavery and Jim Crow, but it often creates White adults that imagine racism is a 400 year old problem that no longer exists. So, when tragedy sparks you to engage a conversation, be honest with your kid about why it is on your mind - because yet another Black person was killed - today, this week, x# this month. This is important, because when Black parents have "the talk" with our kids about how to survive police encounters and avoid White supremacists, we can not afford to root those conversations in history - they are the Now, so we need your honesty so your kids know that anti-racism is relevant even today.
b) Be consistent. Anti-racism is most likely fresh on your mind because in the last 5 weeks we have had 4 viral deaths of unarmed Black folx at the hands of White people. Please please please talk about racism when something horrifically racist happens. Every time. BUT ALSO, talk about anti-racist ideas in other times. Perhaps set a reminder on your phone (maybe once a month, every other week?) to engage in dialogue, a lesson, book reading, movie watching with your kid. Make anti-racism as important in their education as kindness or brushing their teeth. If you only bring it up the few times you become aware, again, the message is it is not a big problem. But it is a HUGE problem and Black parents are constantly reminded every day.
c) Be prepared. This is where resources come in. There is no way you will be able to describe the experience of racism to your kids - you don't live it. But no worries - tons of folx have described it and prepared lessons and ideas. So, when it comes time for your monthly anti-racism talk with your kids check out a few of the resources at the end of this collected by me and others.
- See Additional resources as they collect below
d) Walk the walk. This is probably the most difficult one. Most White folx don't say openly racist things to Black people. The racist things are said in circles of other White folx - we are not usually there. And many times I imagine, it is easiest to keep the peace and not say anything. But, this teaches your child that racism is not their problem, that they should not intervene, or that they only need to be anti-racist when someone who is a target of racism is around. This is no good. Your kids need to see you creating environments that are anti-racist, challenging friends and family - making it clear that racism has no place. I believe that without this - you can educate to your hearts content - but if you are not actively anti-racist your kids won't be either.
e) Diversify your life. Fill your home with books, movies, dolls, action figures, video games, and the like that are by and about People of Color. Make sure your kids see a world (in their homes) in which folx different from them are humanized, celebrated, included, etc. Who is at your dinner table, in your close friend circle, at birthday parties with your kids? If everyone is White, take a small step back and consider why that is for you and your family, and then try to engage in authentic relationships with others that don't share your background, beliefs, experiences.
f) Be authentic. Mess up, have word vomit, say the wrong words, be upset, be uncomfortable. There is room for all of this when you talk to your kids. These conversations are difficult - always. You are struggling because racism is ugly, and we never want to replace the joy in our kids lives with anything ugly. But please struggle through, even though it is a choice for you and you don't have to introduce the ugliness of racism to your kid - I do - and I am so grateful to have you in this fight with me.
That's all I have - I am always available if you want to talk through any of this - and again, as a mama of two beautifully brilliant Black boys, thank you. They deserve more than what this world is giving right now.
- Added by Evelyn Hunter
*added from Andrea Holman*
g) Say something. So much of how bias and prejudice manifest is because of implicit reactions and issues gone unspoken/unchecked. I think it is important to realize that culturally, race/racism are not issues that we are conditioned to discuss explicitly. There will be discomfort and it will feel strange and unnatural to explicitly dialogue or acknowledge certain things. Some white individuals may not even be comfortable naming racial groups out loud (i.e. “Black people”). I think to truly be counter cultural you have to challenge the instinct to verbally suppress and ignore all things race related. Say something, acknowledge something-when you see overt racism, when you hear a microaggression, when you learn of institutional or systemic injustice. Say what you know, you don’t have to know all the things about all the things. Simply acknowledge the oppressive and unjust nature of racism, acknowledge the heartbreak and anger that must be experienced by people of color, acknowledge your privilege or ignorance out loud. Say something not only to people of color in your life but to OTHER white individuals when no one in the room lacks racial privilege. This is where true culture shifts are made. I think explicit dialogue can also go a long way to help people hear and acknowledge the bias they did not realize they held about certain groups or people. Silence speaks volumes. Don’t let it have that power here.
Soo La Kim
When white parents talk about "white privilege," in addition to talking about the unearned advantages it confers, please also talk about how it limits your vision, creates blind spots, lulls you into comfort and ignorance about the inequities and oppressions BIPOC suffer. I have found that being anti-racist as a non-Black POC is to actively relearn how to see and listen.
Words of Wisdom from another Mama of Color: “If you do look to educational materials or books, please review the content first. Some sources still promote older "colorblind" philosophies instead of recognizing and respecting racial and cultural differences which is critical to understanding the diverse world we live in.”
Your Kids Aren't Too Young to Talk About Race: Resource Roundup
BHIAH: Black History Is American History
Raising White Children to be Anti-Racist Allies
Build your awareness and skills related to anti-racism. Register by Tuesday, June 30 to attend our workshop, "Cultivating an Antiracist Mindset.” Open to anyone. Educators can earn four professional development hours (EILA approved).
Workshop: Cultivating An Antiracist Mindset – UK College of Education
Enhance and elevate your skills this summer. Select among 20 online workshops.
- Book: Raising White Kids: Bringing Up Children in a Racially Unjust America (Jennifer Harvey)
- Parents must teach their children to oppose racism (this is an important one because the racism that is most likely to impact Black Americans is from well-meaning "non-racist" White folx that have never realized they are racist (or have at minimum prejudice views)
- Google anti-racism education; diversity education; talk to your kids about racism
75 Things White People Can Do for Racial Justice
https://outschool.com/classes/know-your-rights-summer-camp-miranda-civil-and-kaepernick-5zJ0KWrL
Anti-racism resources for white people
hi friend. i see you and your work. i have found this list helpful in selecting books to read with my 5 yo.
37 Children's Books to help talk about Racism & Discrimination
Read How to be an Anti-Racist How To Be An Antiracist — Ibram X. Kendi
A Kids Book About Racism, by Jelani Memory, read by the author:
A Kids Book About Racism by Jelani Memory
Just wanted to share these resources with you from UIC: https://counseling.uic.edu/news-stories/in-response-to-race-related-violence/
Working
Book List
DiAngelo, Robin. 2018.
White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism
.
Beacon Press.
Kendi, Ibram X. 2019 How to be an Antiracist.
One World
Tatum, Beverly Daniel. (1997) new edition 2017. Why are all the Black Kids Sitting Together in
the Cafeteria? And other conversations about race. Basic Books
Coates, Ta
-
Nehisi. Between the World and Me. Spiegel & Grau.
Arnold, Jenna. 2020.
Raising Our Hands: How White Women Can Stop Avoiding Hard
Conversations,
Start Accepting Responsibility, and Find Our Place on the New Frontlines
.
BenBella Books.
Websites:
Raising Race Conscious Children
https://theness.com/neurologicablog/index.php/indigenous-ways-of-knowing/
https://newdiscourses.com/2020/03/critical-theories-virus-liberal-body-politic/
Uses the month of September to form classroom community. Heroes to room 201.
WHat does activism look like?
What does it mean to be an ally?
Culture-
Heritage-
Ethnicity-
Agency-
Prejudice-
Racism-
Black doll experiment
La Tosha Brown
Cliff Albright
Dr. Carter Woodson-Black history month
Critical Race Theory
Caroline is remembered by her students as caring, making them feel worthy, and having a place where they belong. Students felt heard and understood in her classes. Her small ways of humor and big enthusiasm made learning fun.
Caroline wanted what was best for all of her students. She showed up with critical thinking and asking questions to gain personal understanding. She was a team player, yet questioned when things were not in sync to her process of thinking. She showed up not to be right but to get it right by continuously looking and listening for ways to improve academics and the equity of her students.
She had an intense desire to get students to learn the love of reading. She worked endlessly to ensure each student received the learning needed to move them forward. She saw the big picture of where gaps could be closed within her school and continuums could be made so students received the interventions and learning they needed to move forward.
I want to see assets instead of deficits this year!
https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1491-a6uI644oMkI58ypv8V7LOyGC7edW (student leaders)