Clapcast 04: A Train To Trollhättan
Transcriber: Cole
Austin: Cool. Alright.
Keith: I just bought- I just bought more.That’s why I’m talking about them.
Austin: I gotcha.
Art: So, like 40?
Austin: Alright, let’s time- Yeah, 40.
Keith: I might not be there on time.
Austin: You’re not gonna be there on time.
Art: Alright, nope.
Dre: Nope.
Keith: Got it.
Austin: Alright.
[someone claps]
Art: Nope.
Austin: Hmm.
Dre: That was 41 anyway.
Austin: Yeah. 50?
Keith: God damnit.
[5 separate claps are heard]
Austin: That was good.
Keith: I- I felt uh- I felt maybe like 20 milliseconds early on that one.
Austin: I think- I think it probably evened out. It was so much better than the last- the live ones we did last- last week for the skeletons game we played. Woof. That was bad.
Dre: Bad times?
Austin: Those were bad. Those were not good ones. --- Uh, ok. Uh, let me know once we’re all in here.
Art: Oh, roll20, huh. We’re not just gonna do this on my wikipedia page of the current members of the Senate? We could just edit them into-
Austin: No. We could. We could. I bet we could figure out how to roll dice on that page. Ok, let’s clap at uh- 30?
Sylvia: Sounds good.
Dre: Ugh.
[4 separate claps]
Austin: I bought a new chair, and I’m getting used to it, but it’s good.
Sylvia: I need to get a new chair. Mine’s really squeaky, so it’s a pain in the ass.
Dre: Same. Me, too.
Austin: Mine was squeaky, and it was tall- or no, it was short. And it was also falling. Like it did the thing that was like, once every three days, it was just go like, ‘boo-boo-boo-boo-boh’. And like lower me down to the ground. And now I got a big one, and it’s brown, and it feels good. It’s good. Alright, we should stop this recording in the stream. --- You know what’s another pleasant surprise is this response I got to Jack’s amazing Yelp review.
Jack: Uh huh?
Ali: Hmm?
Austin: I’m gonna link this here really- I’m gonna link this up here in Bluff City. It is very important. This comes in from Katie, aka: I’m not gonna say Katie’s- Katie’s Twitter handle. So, Jack, the background here is that Jack wrote- writes these fake Yelp reviews for the Bluff City episodes. This one was a really great one about Greysand Paranormal, the ghost hunting group that was in the Inspectors game that we ran in October and November. Um, and I just posted it because I think it’s really good. And Katie on Twitter, whose bio is ‘add me to- add me to list, you are blocked #immigrant #presidenttrump #pride #american #educated #medical’ and then twenty different emoji ranging from the American flag to a computer to a horse to the sunshine to the Santa Claus.
Ali: No, we have to say this outloud. I’m gonna- It’s-
Austin: Ok, you’re gonna say it-
Ali: American flag. Horse. Flower. Sunglasses. Cop. Santa. Eyes. Fork and knife. Soup?
Austin: Soup, yeah.
Ali: Boat. Uh-
Jack: Swimming.
Austin: Swimming. Swimming. Swimming. Skier.
Ali: Swimming. Skiing. Metal. Masks. Headphones. Hospital. Laptop. Printer. Joystick?
Austin: I think it’s a joystick. Yeah. Joystick.
Ali: Um, key? That’s not a major key.
Jack: Hourglass?
Ali: No, no, no. Hourglass. Hourglass. It’s not a major key. [laughs]
Austin: It’s not a major key. No, nothing about this is a major key.
Ali: Camera. Syringe. Uh [laughs]
Austin: Telescope.
Ali: Telescope. Umbrella and beach. Frame.
Austin: No, TV. That’s like an old fashion CRT TV, right?
Ali: That’s a- Oh.
Austin: You’re right. You’re right. You’re right. You’re right.
Ali: I think it’s a picture in a frame.
Austin: It’s a- it’s a picture frame.
Ali: Helmet with a white cro- [laughs] cross. Briefcase. Graduation hat. Bikini. Horse. Sun.
Austin: Yeah. Yep. Uh, and then the text of this tweet in response to Jack’s Yelp review is, #yelp #fakeyelp #takeyelpout #jeremystoppelman is a #thief
Janine: What?
Austin: #mafia #yelphschmelp.
Jack: Yelpschmelp.
Austin: Yelpschmelp [Ali laughs] #yelpschmelp
Ali: Yelpschmelp
Austin: #yelpschmelp
Janine: I’m sorry Yelp H Schmelp is a character name we need to use. [everyone laughs]
Jack: [using a different voice] Why hello. Please call me-
Austin: Hashtag- [laughs]
Jack: [using a different voice] -Call me Yelp.
Austin: #oldnews #smallbiz100 #enemy #novalue Thanks, Katie. That’s-
Jack: [overlapped] Oh my god.
Ali: I just want to point out that she responded to you, quote-tweeted you, and then also retweeted the tweet.
Austin: Oh my god. Did she quote-tweet me?
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: What did she say in the quote-tweet?
Ali: It says #fapeyelp #jeremystoppelman is a #thief #takeyelpout
Janine: Who the fuck is Jeremy Stoppelman?
Ali: Cause he’s the creator of Yelp.com #idiotic #fakeyelp #gtfooh Unless those are zeros, cause I-
Austin: ‘Get the fuck out of here’ is what that means.
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: Uhm what’s really funny- what I love about this is that she’s misspelled Stoppelman in every instance. [Ali laughs] He’s never gonna see this. If he’s name-searchin’ he’s not even gonna see Jeremy Stoppleman.
Janine: It’s cause he’s gotta stop-elman.
Austin: I see.
Ali: Oh.
Austin: I’m diggin’ into this hashtag, and let me tell you, y’all, she’s the only one usin’ it. No one else is at hash- but let me tell this other thing. She uses it a lot. [Jack laughs] So-
Ali: She sure does.
Jack: Oh wow, She really does.
Janine: Do you think he stole Yelp from her?
Austin: Is that what she says?
Jack: What is happening here?
Janine: I don’t know.
Ali: I- who could know?
Austin: I think she’s a small business person.
Ali: I was gonna say that exact thing, yeah.
Jack: Oh, she’s an ex-employee, actually.
Janine: Oh, oh.
Jack: Like, f you look at the first tweet- [Ali gasps] ex-employee #exemployee #extortion #businesstravel #takeyelpout #thieftrackers And then she tags in the FDA, the CNN-
Janine: Does she think hashtags are how you explain your argument?
Austin: Yes.
Jack: And the ADC.
Ali: Well, they are.
Janine: You just like, point form use the hashtag like you’re listing out grievances.
Austin: Ugh. Uh, her-
Ali: I mean, is she wrong?
Austin: Her image is also, by the way, of- and this is confused. I believe- Hmm. I believe that this is the cover of Weekend at Bernie’s
Jack: Yep.
Austin: Except the- instead of the two like, young, cool dude, it is former president Bill Clinton.
Jack: Oh, I see what the problem with this is, Austin.
Austin: And it is Bernie Sanders. And then the person who is playing Bernie, the dead guy from Bern- from Weekend at Bernie is Hillary Clinton. It’s Hillary Clinton’s face posted onto Bernie. Now, I know what you’re thinking which is if you did a Weekend at Bernie’s joke, and Bernie Sanders is in the photo, he should probably be the Bernie in question. But Katie is on another level. Uh-
Ali: Yeah.
Jack: No, this is the Weekend Next to Bernie. It’s a spin-off
Austin: I see. So, next weekend, the Weekend Near Bernie’s. Gotcha. [Ali laughs] Uh, also just scrolling through this timeline. This person is bad. This person is racist.
Ali: Not great. Hm.
Austin: And bad in general.
Ali: Not great.
Austin: Um, so- that’s- that’s good. Also, she’s boycotting the NFL. Ok, moving on.
Janine: Wow.
Austin: Welcome to Friends at the Table, an actual play podcast focused on critical world building, smart character- Op! Fuck.
Janine: We didn’t clap.
Austin: We need to clap.
Ali: Yeah, we didn’t anything.
Jack: Oh no. We were so distracted.
Austin: We have to clap. Uh, let’s clap-
Jack: We were so distracted.
Austin: Are we at Time.is?
Jack: Yep.
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: Let’s clap at-
Janine: It’s world vegetarian day.
Ali: 6:12.
Jack: Oh.
Austin: Let’s- Yeah. Let’s clap at 6:12.
Ali: International Day of Older Persons.
Janine: Wait, what time are we clapping at?
Jack: 6:12. 6:12.
[3 claps can be heard]
Austin: No. Bad. Ten. Ten seconds. [Ali and Janine laugh]
[3 claps can be heard]
Jack: Off to a great start.
Austin: Are we?
Ali: [laughs] We really are.
Jack: No. no. [Austin sighs]
---
Ali: Yeah.
Jack: Hey.
Ali: Hi.
Keith: Hi.
Janine: Hi.
Jack: Hey, Austin.
Austin: How’s it goin’?
Jack: You’re alive.
Ali: Tryin’ to be.
Janine: I don’t think the concern was that New York internet killed him.
Austin: It might.
Ali: I might have been.
Jack: I mean, look-
Janine: I mean, yeah, it might still, but-
Jack: I would say 85% of my experience with Austin has been as a sort of- as an entity transmitted by the internet.
Austin: Uh huh. [Janine laughs]
Jack: So you know, in a sort of Black Mirror sense, you know? The realest Austin was the internet all along.
Austin: Uh huh.
Jack: [whispers] That’s not true. I know- I know that’s not true.
Janine: I acci- I accidentally- I tried to open a tab for Roll20, but I think I hit the wrong key, so I ended up just searching the word ‘troll’ on time.is.
Austin: Oh, that’s sucks-
Janine: And there are- There are a lot of towns that start with the word troll.
Austin: Wait what? Wait.
Ali: You can search on time.is?
Janine: There’s a place called Trollhättan. Like Manhattan, but with troll.
Austin: Wait. What are you talking about? What?
Janine: On time.is.
Austin: Oh, there’s a search bar. You typed it in the search bar.
Janine: Yeah.
Ali: Oh.
Janine: Yeah.
Austin: I see.
Jack: Wait. For troll? Typing in troll?
Austin: Yeah. Yeah.
Jack: Hey, why- real talk- real-
Janine: Trollhättan.
Jack: Real quick question here.
Austin: Uh huh.
Jack: Does Bluff City have a twin city that’s in Sweden or somewhere? We can tell stories about trolls.
Austin: No, sadly. Sorry Trollton. Trollhättan.
Jack: Not- not-
Janine: Trollhättan wouldn’t be- wouldn’t be like a Bluff City place. That’d be like if we ever wanted to do some sort of fantasy meets Mad Men setting.
Austin: Right.
Janine: That’s what Trollhättan’s for.
Austin: Trollhättan looks ok.
Jack: Trollhättan- Trollhättan is kind- oh really. We’re looking at Trollhättan now? Let’s see.
Austin: I am.
Janine: It looks nice.
Austin: “Trollhättan was founded on the river Göta älv”- I don’t know how to pronounce that-at the Trollhättan Falls.
Janine: Ok.
Ali: Oh, this looks cute.
Jack: Oh, Trollhättan looks nice as hell. I wonder how cheap it is for me to fly to Trollhättan.
Austin: Let’s find out.
Jack: I bet they don’t have an airport.
Austin: Oh, do you know what the word Trollhättan means?
Jack: What does it mean?
Austin: It means troll’s bonnet. Like a great big ol’ hat.
Janine: That’s good.
Ali: Are you seeing this ‘Made in Trollhättan by Trolls’ sticker? Cause it’s fantastic.
Jack: I could get to Trollhättan-
Ali: I like how the troll doesn’t have a body. It’s just a face with little legs.
Austin: Little legs. Keep Trollhättan trolls. That’s what I always say.
Janine: This is very 70’s.
Ali: Uh huh.
Janine: It’s good that this place exists in the world.
Austin: Uh, Trollhättan- Trollhättan- “As of 2011 Trollhättan hosts a film production complex known as Trollywood” [pronouncing like troll]- Trollywood [like Hollywood]
Ali: Oh boy.
Jack: Oh no. Actually, Trollhättan is bad actually.
Austin: Uh huh.
Jack: Well, so- I could get there for like, 200 pounds, but I bet I could get there much, much cheaper if I flew to a nearer airport and took some sort of cool Swedish train.
Ali: “Movies shot there include Show Me Love, Dancer in the Dark, [laughing] Melanch- “
Austin: [overlapping] Well, hmm. No, no, no, no, no. No, what is Show Me Love actually called?
Ali: I’m not saying that. [laughs]
Austin: Why not?
Janine: You have to.
Ali: Fucking Åmål?
Austin: I think it’s ama- amal?
Ali: Is that a person or like a-?
Austin: I think it’s a person. I think it’s a- Uh, no. It’s a place. It’s a small town.
Ali: Oh. This isn’t like-
Janine: Oh, it’s- is fucking in that?
Jack: What is-
Janine: Or was that you editorializing?
Jack: What is happening?
Austin: No, fucking is in that.
Janine: Oh.
Austin: The name of Show Me Love in Swedish is ‘Fucking Åmål’.
Janine: Huh. I think that’s name.
Austin; It’s a place.
Janine: It’s also a name.
Ali: Uh- “The film follows the lives of two seemingly disparate teenage girls who begin a tentative romantic relationship.” Maybe this isn't bad.
Austin: That sounds ok.
Janine: Huh.
Jack: 21 pounds.
Austin: Even before the film was completed, it created controversy in the town of Åmål. Yeah, I bet. What happened? What’s 21 pounds?
Jack: That’s how- that’s how much it would cost me to get to Trollhättan.
Austin: What? 21 pounds? What?
Jack: Well, Europe is very close.
Austin: There are parts- I can’t get anywhere for- I can’t get into Long Island for 21 pounds.
Jack: So, I could fly to Gothenburg-
Janine: I can get to Toronto.
Jack: I can fly into Gothenburg for 20 pounds, but- and then I probably have to get a train to Trollhättan, but it would be a train through Sweden.
Janine: Is that on that airline that- um, what’s that?
Jack: The illegal one? The oine-
Janine: Ryanair.
Austin: Wait, Ryan-air?
Jack: Yeah. Ryanair.
Austin: It’s just a guy named Ryan with a plane?
Janine: Ryanair is like the British JetBlue, but more.
Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Janine: I think is the-
Jack: They- they’ll basically send us anywhere very cheaply and in a manner that makes everyone feel ill.
Janine: I watched a documentary about Ryanair, and they had this whole problem where like- they had these former employees speaking, and they were like, ‘Yeah, some- once someone like, threw up and we didn’t have time’ because their-
Austin: Oh, I don’t like this.
Janine: -their like, turnaround time is so tight on those planes. They don’t have time to clean them between flights.
Austin: This is gonna go bad.
Janine: So, they just like, sprayed air-freshener on- on it.
Austin: No, no.
Ali: No, no.
Janine: Yeah.
Jack: That sounds a lot like Ryanair, but luckily I’ve never had an experience that bad. I’ve just- The flight-
Janine: I mean, I imagine after that documentary, they maybe tightened the shit up a little bit.
Jack: Yeah, but- the thing that I-
Ali: Yeah, like clean up time is something you account for.
Jack: Uh huh. The thing that I- that I always think about with Ryanair is that um, so that- it costs me 20 pounds 68. And that is- let me check when that-
Austin: It’s the 68 that’ll get ya. You can get to the 20.
Jack: That would be- Yeah, that would be on- around the 26th of October.
Janine: That’s like 30 bucks.
Jack: And that flight is-is just under 2 hours. So, it’s not like I’m trapped in a tube forever, but I’ve been on some pretty crappy flights, and I have considered my- my bad decision-making at that point.
[crosstalking]
Austin: Is there a way for me to save the cheapest flights? Period.
Janine: But is it crappier than like, a bus? Cause buses are also-
Jack: It’s no crappier than a bus.
Janine: Yeah.
Jack: It’s no crappier than a bus.
Janine: It’s like a bus high up in the sky.
Jack: Um, I use Kiwi which is really good at that. Um-
Austin: What is it?
Janine: Kiwi?
Jack: Kiwi.com, yeah.
Ali: Can you spell that?
Jack: Uh, K-I-W-I dot com.
Janine: Oh. Oh.
Jack: And you- you put in where you-
Austin: Hmm.
Jack: How would you say that? What?
Austin: Kiwi.
Ali: Yeah.
Jack: What did you-?
Janine: I thought you said kiwi.
Austin: Me, too. I thought *he said Q-E. Like the letters.
Janine: Yeah.
Ali: Yeah, there isn’t an [inaudible] in there.
Jack: Oh, ok. Well- [Austin, Ali, and Janine laugh]
Ali: It’s just not there- That’s not your fault that it’s not there. It just isn’t.
Austin: I’m tryin’ to find out the cheapest flight I can get. Ok- these- Ok.
Janine: Anywhere in the world?
Austin: I didn’t know that you could get flights this cheap. Period. Why don’t I go places?
Jack: So- Sort of the thing that’s good about these flights is they’re not like, great-
[crosstalking]
Austin: Sure.
Jack: But they are also not being booked through-
Austin: I could be in New Orleans- for $25. Like, what?
Ali: Oh, what?
Jack: They’re like, not being booked through-
Austin: Right, this is what I’m saying.
Jack: They’re not illegitimate bookings. Kiwi flights are like- it’s not like a- you’re not gonna get scammed out of the money. You might get scammed out of a good time in the air.
Austin: Oh, I’m sure. But like, I could fly United for $100 which is even cheaper.
Jack: Right.
Austin: Cheaper than I even thought.
Jack: Yeah, like I-
Austin: All of my flights are always so expensive.
Jack: No, like-
Austin: I just go to L.A. ever and like-
Jack: I use this all the time.
Janine: And you’re also going like a specific time and for a specific thing.
Austin: Yeah, true.
Jack: Yeah. Well-
Janine: And you’re just- You’re not waiting for a deal.
Jack: I booked my flight home from New York to London about 4 days ahead of flying, and it cost me about 230 pounds.
Austin: Right. That’s still pretty good. Get to Cincinnati for $36. I mean, shit.
Ali: Oh, I thought you said Q-I-W-I, and Qiwi is a publicly traded Russian payment service provider and- [Austin laughs]
Jack: Interesting.
Ali: I was so confused.
Jack: Interesting.
Austin: Kiwi, with a ‘K’.
Ali: With a ‘k’.
Jack: Like the bird. Like the bird.
Ali: Right. Like the fruit. Like the fruit? [laughs]
Jack: Like the fruit and the bird.
Austin: Like the place.
Ali: Ok.
Austin: Like the people? Like the people.
Jack: Where do you think the fruit comes from?
Ali: [laughing] I’m just afraid you don’t know what the fruit is, if you pronounced it wrong the first time.
Jack: Kiwi? I know what the- I know what the kiwi is.
Ali: Ok. It’s out there.
Austin: People know.
Jack: I found out recently that you can eat the skin of the kiwi, and it’s not bad for you.
Ali: Oh.
[crosstalking]
Janine: Yeah, but you- just cause it’s not bad for you doesn’t mean it’s like a good time.
Austin: Hm, yeah. Lots of things are edible. Yeah.
Ali: Yeah, that’s a bad experience.
Janine: Eating a kiwi skin is the $20 flight of a food experience. [Ali, Austin, and Jack laugh]
Ali: Los Angeles for $100.
Austin: Like, let’s just go. What are we doing?
Janine: Yeah, no. I- when- so after we went to L.A., I like, out of curiosity, like subscribed to Air Canada’s like price deals and stuff. And a lot of the stuff they emailed me is not actually that far from this, and it’s just like, ‘Oh, hey. You could just- you could just go to this place this weekend for $150.’
Austin: Right.
Janine: ‘You wanna?’
Jack: So like, a weird thing that I’ve noticed as someone who flies internationally more regularly than I should is that within- within my lifespan, international airfares have dropped, which because it’s 2017, I can only assume to mean is actually a bad thing. Um, because of the price of fuel or because of the like, weird cost cutting that they’re doing elsewhere. But it’s really interesting to like, to notice that what would have cost me 600 pounds-
Austin: Right.
JACK; -3 or 4 years ago is now costing me 200, and is a very like, distinct realization.
Ali: Yeah. [cat heard meowing]
Jack: [quietly] Did the cat-
Austin: Yeah, the thing I’m noticing right now-
Ali: Hey, Annie.
Austin: It- two things I’m noticing-
Janine: [laughs] She’s outside, and you can still hear her.
Austin: One is that would cost me $100 to fly to Toronto, which at the time was not the case at all.
Jack: Uh huh.
Austin: I can even fly directly to London, Ontario for $130 which like, I used to spend $130 for a bus to get back from London.
Ali: Oh wow. You did do that a lot.
Janine: Ugh.
Jack: Yeah.
Austin: Uh huh. I did do that a lot.
Janine: Yeah.
Austin: The second thing I’ve noticed is it would cost me $100 to fly to Atlantic City, which is fair because it feels like that’s a- you shouldn't- you shouldn’t be allowed to do that. [Ali and Jack laugh] I shouldn’t be allowed to fly to Atlantic City, it’s not that- like, it’s a few- it’s like 3 hours away, so like, I get it. If you really wanted to- oh wait. How would I even? Wait, why is this flight 6.5 hours? What?
Ali: Oh, cause it’s gonna- Yeah, that’s gonna-
Jack: So, that’s another thing. Like, a lot of cheapest ones take you through weird stuff.
Austin: Bring you somewhere else. Yeah.
Jack: You can generally actually end up with a pretty- Like the flight that I took back from new York was direct, but it’s a- it’s about what you’re willing to- I guess.
Austin: Right.
Jack: So like, how much would i cost me to fly to Edinburgh? Which is about 7 hours in the car. 7 or 8 hours in the car.
Austin: I’ll find out how close Edinburgh- [Ali laughs]
Jack: So that- that will cost me 40 pounds. 47 pounds.
Austin: Oh wow. It’s costs me 227.
Jack: Hm.
Janine: I think the thing is like, a big part of it is-
Austin: [overlapping] Whole ocean.
Janine: -just how many people are flying and like, how quickly that plane can be turned around and sent back the other way.
Jack: Yeah, yeah.
Austin: Right.
Jack: The other thing of course is like-
Janine: You know, like- like hiring a moving truck to do a short run is cheaper than, you know like,
Jack: Oh yeah.
Janine: -cause they can just turn that truck around real fast and-
Austin: Like, also is there a tourism industry there that’s paying you to make it happen.
Ali: Uh huh.
Austin: Also, the prices went up. My prices went up in the time-
Ali: Just while you were looking at it?
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: Oh yeah, they- they also do that.
Austin: It used to cost me $20 to get to Orlando, and it’s up to 65.
Jack: So, a thing that’s-
Janine: Hm, looks like you’re looking at flights, you must want to really fly somewhere. Maybe you should- [Jack laughs] crank up the old dollarydoos.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Holy man, I could go to Tokyo for $381, but the flight time would be 57 hours. [Austin and Janine laugh]
Jack: Hold on. Hold on. Too long. Too many hours.
Ali: Whooey- Alright.
Janine: How?
Jack: So, I think that the-
Janine: Do they send you backwards?
Ali: Um, so you would go to Chicago-
Austin: There’s like-
Ali: -and arrive there at 8 o'clock.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: And then leave at 3 o’clock the next day, and then you go-
Austin: Right, it’s like you go to a hotel, right?
Ali: Yeah. Uh huh.
Austin; You like- you stay.
Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ali: I would like, I would get a bigger [inaudible]
Janine: But then like, half your vacation is like, spending time in hotels that aren’t even in your destination town.
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: Yeah, what if you-
Jack: So-
Janine: Just like a-
Austin: Yeah, no, you’re not wrong.
Jack: My favorite- My favorite thing about Kiwi is if you click the departure box, you just to see the price spread for flights for the next 6 months.
Ali: Oh.
Janine: Oh. Huh.
Austin: Wait, where is that? Oh, I see. I see. I see what you’re saying.
Ali: Oh, I like websites that do that. Um- Hopper does that.
Jack: This is great. I like this a lot.
Ali: And so does uh- Virgin will do that, too.
Austin: Wait, where do I click? Wait. Oh, I see. I see. I see.
Jack: Just click the box- Yep.
Austin: Boy, It gets expensive to go to Cincinnati in late- in near the holidays.
Ali: Yeah, holidays are not-
Jack: Uh huh. Yeah.
Austin: Geez.
Ali: Um, anyway-
Austin: I should go somewhere for a holiday. I’ve never gone anywhere for a holiday.
Jack: Well, so I’m going-
Janine: Yeah, that’s- You should.
Jack: -on holiday because I found out that I can do this quite cheaply, and because we’re being paid to pretend to be orcs.
Austin: Uh huh. [Ali and Janine laugh]
Jack: I’m gonna go to Switzerland in the new year.
Janine: Ooo-
Jack: For like- for like 4 days. I’m just gonna go on my own to like a nice, winter cabin in Switzerland.
Janine: Nice.
Ali: That sounds good.
Austin: Aw, that sounds very nice.
Jack: And there’ll be wi-fi and everything. So, we’ll be able to like, record if we need to. But it’d just be-
Austin: Have you already found the cabin?
Jack: Yeah, I know where I’m going.
Austin: Ok.
Jack: I’m going to uh- a place called- I’m gonna send you a picture.
Austin: Hey, all of these other places in Switzerland have nice pictures here on Kiwi- uh, what’s it called? Like this nice, waterside little town or this other one that’s like a nice little town by the water or this third one which is like, this really good-looking old town with some water in the middle. Um, they all have water and nice towns. And then the last one is Thal. T-H-A-L. And the picture for Thal is a rocket going off [Ali laughs] and shooting into the sky. And I gotta know what’s going on in Thal.
Janine: Hm.
Ali: Rockets.
Jack: Hm.
Janine: Maybe they have like a- like a planetarium kind of situation.
Austin: Thal.
Janine: Like a space research-
Austin: Thal sounds like a Marvel villain.
Janine: Yeah.
Ali: Hmm, oh Marvel.
Jack: Yeah.
Austin; Yeah, also, hm-
Ali: [laughing] Oh Marvel.
Jack: Oh, yeah. Oh my god. They’re like arms dealers. Um- [Austin and Ali laugh] Here.
Ali: Oh, that’s really cute.
Janine: Yeah.
Ali: Going somewhere alone is so good. When I went to Toronto, and it was just like, ‘I’m here. I have a hotel room. I know some friends here.’
Jack: Yeah.
Ali: Whatever.
Jack: It’s such a luxury.
Ali: It was so good.
Austin: I can find nothing about Thal shooting rockets. So, I don’t understand this photo at all.
Ali: That’s really good.
Jack: Wait, where are you finding this photo, Austin?
Austin: Just do a search for Switzerland on Kiwi, and then the third place is- is Thal, where there is- the whole picture is clouds with then a rocket being shot off into space. Or who knows where. I don’t know.
Ali: Did they like, record a thing there about space? Isn’t there like a lot of movies that- Am I just thinking of Lord of the Rings? [laughs]
Jack: Ah, that’s in New Zealand.
Austin: That’s just-
Ali: [laughing] That’s a different country.
Janine: Also, they don’t go into space in that one.
Jack: I can see what you’re thinking. Kiwi, but-
Austin: Kiwi, yeah, it’s a whole thing.
Jack: But who didn’t know they did not go to space?
Ali: Ok. I just- like, aren’t movies shot like, in places-? I don’t know. I lost it.
Jack: In Europe? [Jack and Ali laugh]
Austin: Maybe- yes, in- in- we’ve been over this. In Trollyland.
Ali: Right. Right.
Jack: It’s- it’s actually called Trollhättan, Austin.
Austin: [laughs] Whatev- whatever. Sorry. I’m sorry to the people of Trollhättan. That was rude. That was rude. I shouldn’t have said that. Oh, this is a stock image.
Jack: Hey, if you’re listening to- if you’re listening to this on the clapcast and you’re from Trollhättan- [Ali and Janine laugh]
Austin: Oh, I figured it out. This is the Thai Rocke se- uh, Rocket Festival.
Jack: Oh wow. So, it misread the-
Austin: And Kiwi is reading- I think maybe the- Hmm. It thinks it’s either- it’s called Thal. It’s definitely called Thal, but it’s reading that as a capital ‘i’ instead of as a lower case ‘L’, which is- that’s interesting.
Ali: Hmm.
Janine: So, that’s just the image they pull for Thai anything? A rocket?
Austin: [laughs] I guess.
Janine: That doesn’t seem right.
Austin: No.
Jack: I’m just looking around google maps now. This is great.
Austin: Ready to be space people?
Ali: Uh huh.
Jack: That’s do it.
Janine: Space-arinos?
Jack: Hmm. Hmm.
Ali: Hmm.
Austin: Aw, I should have been doing OBS, and I’m not.
Ali: Oh. Please.
Austin: I guess you’re doing that, right? You do it.
Ali: Or I’ll do it because your audio is weird. So, if we need to use it, I don’t want to-
Austin: Yeah, fair. I’m also- I’ll also do one just to also do one. But yeah-
Ali: To have one, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Ok. Do not hit- let’s start streaming. Ok.
Austin: Ok. Let’s Time.is.
Ali: Oh, we have still yet to do that.
Austin: Uh huh. [laughs] Let’s do it at uh- 25?
Ali: Uh huh.
[4 claps can be heard]
Ali: [laughs] That was not-
Austin: I was late.
Jack: Hmm.
Ali: I was very early.
Austin: Let’s do at 35.
Ali: Uh huh.
[1 clap can be heard]
Austin: Someone knock someone over?
Ali: Uh, I scared my cat. [Janine laughs]
Austin: Aww. [Ali laughs] Cat. Ok.
Ali: It’s fine. We got it.
Janine: That was your second clap. That shouldn’t have been the one that scared them.
Ali: I- She- The first clap she was like, ‘What’s that?’ and came in here, [Janine and Austin laughs] and then I clapped again, and she was like, ‘Oh.’
Austin: ‘Oh, shit. Ok. Bye!’ [Ali and Jack laugh] Pwoo, ok. Cool.
---
Austin: I’m a little wor- Anyway, we’ll see. Let’s Time.is.
Ali: What time?
Austin: Uh, 5 after?
Sylvia: Ok.
Austin: Thank you for asking cause I was just not gonna say.
[2 or 3 claps can be heard]
Austin: I was early. Let’s do one more.
Ali: Ok.
Austin: At 15?
Ali: 15?
Austin: Yeah.
Art: Mabel hates the claps.
[1 clap]
Austin: Better. Good. Ok.
---
Austin: God. Um, did I have notes for this game? Let’s see.
Ali: Oh, Roll20 is a thing I should be at.
Austin: Uh huh. Yeah, see.
Sylvia: [laughing] Prof- professional operation. [Ali laughs]
Austin: Uh, we- I’ll say it- I’ll say it. We’re recording later than we wanted to by an hour, and also on a day that we don’t normally record on. So, it’s been a long one. It’s been a long one already.
Ali: Yeah. Little bit of a long week, too.
Austin: Yeah. [Ali laughs]
Art: It’s Tuesday.
Austin: It’s Tue- well, it’s Tuesday, August 8th-
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: -and people who follow us on Twitter can probably do math. Uh- [Sylvia laughs] So-
Art: I didn’t think we were supposed to say what day it was.
Ali: Oh, it’s fine. This is for the patreon people. They’re all good.
Austin: Yeah. [laughs] This is that inside scoop. What was the name of your company, by the way, again? Cause I don’t have that written down and I want to.
Sylvia and Art: Greysand Paranormal.
Art: It’s over here under franchise.
Austin: Oh, I see it. I do see it. Thank god. Those are my notes. Ok. [makes relieved noises] Ok. Um, so where did we leave off? We left off with-
----
Ali: I forget the voice I was doing last time, and I’m just gonna go back-
Austin: It was very bubbly and good. There was like bubbly-
Ali: Yeah, it’s hard to do voices.
Austin: It was like a bubbly, office assistant. Like-
Ali: Uh huh.
Austin: Very quick. Like short sentences that were very to the point, but also very open.
Art: I also don’t do voices, but I’ve decided that all my characters are gonna start to sound like Jake. This is gonna be- [Ali laughs]
Austin: Ok.
Art: [using Jake’s voice] You can call me Hadrian. [Austin and Ali laugh] Sword of Samothes. [normal voice] There’s a little too much ma- too much macho man in there.
Austin: Yeah. God. There wa s great line in a piece that will have run by the time this goes live, I fuckin’ hope. We’re starting to run a wrestling column on our site. We picked up Ian Williams’s old sports wrestling column.
Sylvia: Yes. [makes happy noise]
Ali: So good.
Austin: Cause it’s super good. I know. It’s so good. And I’m so mad that it-
Sylvia: I love Bruiseday.
Austin: And in it he- I’m just gonna read you this line. I know we’ve not a lot of time right now, but it’s important to this moment, and I’m stalling so that I can find the link. Apologies. Uh, here it is.
Ali: No, it’s good. Let’s check it out. It’s good.
Austin: Thank you. I appreciate it. [Ali laughs] Um, he’s- it’s a- it’s a column about- It’s called ‘The Will of the Crowd is Wrestling’s Video Game Controller’, and he kind of sets up why are we doing a wrestling column. And as part of it, he talk about why- how wrestling has seeped into popular culture obviously, right? Um, and I’ll just read you this whole- this whole segment because it just gets to the bit that I really love.
[Reading] “The current head of the Small Business Administration is Linda McMahon, former CEO of WWE. Kid Rock is probably going to be Michigan's next senator; his music was used by WWE for wrestlers' entrances, he's played WWE live events, and his entire career as a foul-mouthed everyman rock star despite growing up the scion of an upper-class family is a testament to how far kayfabe takes you these days. Hulk Hogan- The Hulk Hogan-Gawker lawsuit will shape the way the news media in the United States operates for generations, maybe forever. It's not just a conservative thing, much as the center-left would like to comfort themselves that they're the ones in the real world.”
[reading] “Some liberals willingly swallow the hook of wild conspiracies peddled by the likes of Louise Mensch and Eric Garland; in fact, the latter's inexplicable Twitter appeal becomes at least somewhat understandable if read in Randy Savage's voice and interpreted as an old school 1980s promo.” And I just have started reading all of Eric Garland’s Tweets [Sylvia laughs] in a macho-man, Randy Savage voice, and I don’t know what’s on his Twitter today, but I’m gonna check really quick. Uh, let’s just see. [typing] Uh, here we go. [imitating Randy Savage’s voice while reading] “The term Washington insider means a whole lot more - and none of it pejorative - when the nukes come out.” It’s- It’s good. He’s such a fucking- ugh- nightmare. It’s good.
Sylvia: Ugh.
Art: You’re not ending them with an ‘Oh, yeah’? I mean that’s-
Austin: I thought about it, but I can’t do a good ‘Oh yeah.’
Sylvia: Oh yeah.
Austin: Oh yeah. See I can-
Art: Oh yeah.
Austin: Oh yeah. [Ali laughs] There it is. I got there.
Sylvia: God. Fuckin’ World Wide Wrestling RPG is gonna be a time.
Austin: I cannot fucking wait, except I’m waiting for it to be- yeah. [reading Eric Garland tweet using Randy Savage’s voice again] “New ALT-Left expose, popular restaurants infiltrated by syndicate known as Big Cuisine.” Oh yeah.
Sylvia: This is just Jesse Ventura.
Austin: It is.
Art: [using Randy Savage- voice] Big Cuisine, I’m gonna see you on Sunday in a steel cage. [Austin and Sylvia laugh]
Austin: Oh my god.
Art: Sorry I-
Austin: [reading Eric Garland tweet using Randy Savage’s voice again] “A warm welcome to all the coordinated bot accounts that we also see propping up the audience for ALT-Left media. Right on schedule.” Oh yeah.
Sylvia: It’s time for some game theory. [Ali, Austin, and Art laugh]
Austin: Fuck. Alright, good.
Sylvia: [laughing] Oh.
Austin: Good. Good. Alright.
Ali: Oh, we’ve done it. Ok. Sure.
Austin: Oh my god. [Sylvia laughs] Ok. Um-
Sylvia: Alright. [clears throat and laughs]
Austin: Get it out of our systems.
Art: Well, I get to do the voice the whole time. [Austin laughs] But it’s not that voice, it’s a slightly different voice.
Austin: It is a slightly different voice.
Sylvia: Yeah, you’re more Undertaker than Macho-man.