Coronavirus Bereavement Support Handbook

Information about what to do & support services


Join the Whatsapp Chat to share latest updates about end-of-life care and bereavement support:

https://chat.whatsapp.com/J5W8OWnVDibCX93PHhEIJf

We're on a mission to make sure that everybody feels supported through grief.

 

We're still in the early stages of creating this support system, so would love to hear your story and what would be useful for you, as well as any information or services you think may be helpful to add to this guide. Please get in touch and help us on our mission at  untangle.info@gmail.com, or feel free to add to and edit this working document.✏️

This document aims to create an easily accessible guide that brings you the latest information about:

  • Support and bereavement  services you can access and emotional guidance to help you cope with grief
  • Practical help and information regarding what to do when someone dies during lockdown and self-isolation
  • The latest government updates regarding funerals, and suggestions on how to celebrate the life of a loved one from afar
  • Information and support for medical professionals and funeral directors
  • Books, podcasts and television programs you may find helpful at this time

Public support and helplines

Join a digital peer support group by filling out this form:

https://untangleonline.typeform.com/to/DVrA9C 

Virtual bereavement meetups are running here:

https://www.meetup.com/bereavement-support-group/

https://www.meetup.com/Widows-and-Widowers-Group/

Cruse Coronavirus bereavement helpline (UK): 0808 808 1677

The Loss Foundation for cancer and coronavirus bereavement (UK)

www.thelossfoundation.org

Sign up form at: https://thelossfoundation.org/contact-us/

  • Online bereavement support groups
  • 1-2-1 peer matching support
  • Support telephone line

At a Loss https://www.ataloss.org/ - a signposting website for the bereaved

The Institute of Professional Grief Coaching is offering a no-cost chat with a certified grief coach at www.fromgrieftogratitude.com (USA)

Other Support:

Headspace for Grief: https://www.headspace.com/blog/2018/03/14/grief-and-meditation/

Talking Death - blog from Funeral Director Poppy’s - https://talking-death.com/

Your loved one is dying - here are the practical steps to do before, during and after:

(UK specific links currently, please add USA)

These documents below contain a comprehensive guide to each of the following areas, and are regularly updated when new information is circulated by the government regarding practical advice and changes to registering deaths, faith leaders and new information regarding funerals, as well as information and advice on bereavement support and different ways to celebrate the life of a loved on during lockdown.

  1. Things everyone should do now to prepare for end-of-life

  1. Final weeks / saying farewell (for you or a loved one)

  1. When someone dies & immediately after

  1. A few weeks later

Key points and information regarding Coronavirus:

  • Organisations such as Farewill (https://farewill.com/) will allow you to create a will online and get advice over the phone. The signature of the will can be watched by two witnesses through a window and be passed through a postbox with sanitized hands for the two witnesses to sign and add their details.
  • Applying for a grant of probate and registering a death can be completed over the phone, and documents can be transmitted electronically. In most cases an estimation or online valuation of an estate will be accepted.
  • In most cases funerals can still go ahead, but with only a small number of immediate family members attending. There may be the option to live-stream a funeral online for other family and friends of the deceased to pay their respects and celebrate the life of the loved one who has died. Those attending must observe social distancing guidelines.
  • Private cremations can be arranged, with the option of holding an end-of-life celebration and memorial service with family and friends when the lockdown restrictions are relaxed.

Advice and help for Medical Professionals

Bereavement support for healthcare professionals chat:https://chat.whatsapp.com/KSjCQZ82NEFImpkSx2CRgs

Advice and Help

Advice and Latest Government Updates for Funeral Directors

Government Updates

19/04/2020 - COVID-19: Guidance for managing a funeral during the coronavirus pandemic - https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-managing-a-funeral-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic/covid-19-guidance-for-managing-a-funeral-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic

  • Those with symptoms of COVID-19 must not attend
  • The number of mourners allowed to attend will depend on the size of the venue, and those who attend must stay at least 2m away from each other at all times
  • People who are very clinically vulnerable to the virus can attend with measures put in place to reduce their personal risk
  • People who are self-isolating due to someone in their household having symptoms may attend so long as they themselves are not showing any symptoms
  • Funerals must not be delayed if possible for public health and safety
  • Overlapping of mourners should be managed, as well as ensuring adequate time between services to thoroughly clean the venue

17/04/2020 - Letter to local authorities from Simon Clarke MP, Minister for Regional Growth and Local Government 

  • ‘Families should have the opportunity to pay their final respects to those they love, and it is important that people can be laid to rest with dignity and that their final wishes are respected.’
  • ‘ At this time, it is important to strike a careful balance between enabling families and mourners to witness the funeral, and ensuring the health and safety of mourners and crematorium and funeral staff’
  • If family are unable to attend, close friends are allowed to attend
  • Schedule 28 of the Coronavirus Act - sets out powers that can be delegated to local councils in the case of the system becoming overwhelmed, and in expectional circumstances when/how this will be used - read this here - https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-local-death-management

16/04/2020 UK Government Update

  • Some councils have banned funeral ceremonies due to the coronavirus. Bradford, Leeds and Kirklees councils have said families will no longer be able to attend services at crematoria. Instead the councils will offer “direct cremations”, in which there is no ceremony and mourners are not present; and burial services at gravesides, with a maximum of 10 mourners observing physical distancing guidelines.
  • The Church of England has banned Church Funeral Services saying immediate family only may attend at gravesides, and that burials can be livestreamed to other relatives and friends.
  • Only members of the deceased person’s household or close family members should attend funerals, and all attendees should stay at least 2m away from each other
  • Mourners should also refrain from taking part in any rituals or practices that bring them into close contact with the body of a person who has died from or with symptoms of COVID-19. Any contact made with the body of a person who has died from or with symptoms of coronavirus should be done using personal protective equipment (PPE), but as always treated with care, sensitivity, dignity and respect.

Guidance for the care of the deceased published 31/03/2020 - https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-for-care-of-the-deceased/guidance-for-care-of-the-deceased-with-suspected-or-confirmed-coronavirus-covid-19

Funeral Directors: Guidance on Cremation Regulations and Forms (last updated 03/04/2020) https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/funeral-directors-guidance-on-cremation-regulations-and-forms

National Association of Funeral Directors COVID-19 advice:  https://nafdcovid19.org.uk/advice-for-funeral-directors/

17/03/2020 UK Government Update - Update to the law in the Coronavirus Bill

  • Local government will have the ability to take control of a component or components of the death management process in their area. For example, local authorities may choose to direct local actors such as funeral directors, mortuaries owners, crematoriums owners and others, to streamline the death management process. This may include an increase in the operating times of crematoriums, directing companies to use their vehicles to move bodies, or directing others not directly involved in the funeral sector, to provide necessary support.
  • Only in the most extreme situations where there is a risk to public health would the powers of direction be used and only be used when scientific evidence and operational advice suggests that it is necessary. Activating the powers will ensure the local death management system continues to work effectively to protect public health and the dignity of the deceased. Personal choice will be respected as far as possible, especially in regard to how we handle loved ones after they have passed.

Advice, Support and Information

OneRoom offers remote funeral streaming  https://oneroomstreaming.com/

US funerals move to live-streaming: https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-51935266 

Sources (date newest to oldest):

https://www.gov.uk/government/news/new-advice-for-safe-funerals-after-discussions-with-faith-leaders

https://www.salisburyjournal.co.uk/news/18344814.covid-19-crisis-sees-temporary-morgue-built-salisbury-hospital-site/

https://onezero.medium.com/coronavirus-is-spurring-a-new-era-of-digital-funerals-45e728899eaf

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/mar/24/britons-saying-final-goodbyes-to-dying-relatives-by-videolink-covid-19?fbclid=IwAR3Pb0-evklZGHZSfJxb8-lxikNd5PZUGRNSSDlbovtFOYLGhitdPRMC3ek

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-bill-what-it-will-do/what-the-coronavirus-bill-will-do?fbclid=IwAR3v8x7-CGK3QfI9ERaj1AUC9cKZx7txcq64Y2dAFuwzIVxwoftzvVkjKN4

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-51935266

Funeral News:

https://news.trust.org/item/20200319120338-jiw6e

Television, books and podcasts

During the coronavirus pandemic, you may find yourself with more free time on your hands than usual. You may find television shows, books or podcasts relaxing, a way to pass the time or a chance to offer a bit of respite from how you may be feeling at the moment. If you feel that you could benefit from media that centers around grief or shares a story you may find relatable, here is a collection of television shows, books and podcasts that you may find useful.

TV and Film

  • Dark Tourist (Netflix)
  • After Life (Netflix)
  • Manchester by the Sea (Film)
  • Dead to Me (Netflix)
  • The Leftovers (TV)
  • Rio and Kate documentary (BBC iPlayer)
  • Onwards https://www.imdb.com/title/tt7146812/ 

Books

  • Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End, Atul Gawande
  • Man’s Search For Meaning, Viktor E. Frank
  • Everybody Dies, David Ury and Ken Tanaka
  • Not That Kind of Love, Claire and Greg Wise
  • Everybody Died,So I Got A Dog, Emily Dean
  • Chase the Rainbow and In Search of Silence, Poorna Bell
  • Grief is the Thing with Feathers, Max Porter
  • Languages of Loss: a psychotherapist’s journey through grief, Sasha Bates

Podcasts