THE FOLLOWING IS THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY OF BRENDAN MCCAFFERY

Parties At the Ivory Tower

I don’t know much about space-time and Einstein

Nor ancient history; and necessarily

Languages have too many rules and exceptions

To learn like everything in life: and these confessions

Of ignorance are meaningless—our every

Act belies some stupidity, wrinkling and unraveling Reality.

Ego, identity, and memories, like hazy weekend nights

Arm-wrestle the future and grapple with the past:

I still can’t recall those girls’ names from Saturday

Night or the number of beers, joints, cigarettes,

lines of blow, xanax bars, and adderalls

I had consumed, or if I even ended

up using a jimmy hat.

Yet, I retain a rough estimate

Of what I have done and failed to do,

And have come to understand

human camaraderie

Drowned in mutual debauchery...

So by incorporating these encounters,

Experienced and borrowed

I may only know now, but not

Yesterday and tomorrow

13 Manly Methods to Modernity (Or; We All Wish We Were Bukowski)

I. Is this life just

Another dream like

the ones in bed: just

physical, fanciful, restless

manifestations?

II. Live, Laugh Love

rosily encapsulates

the bestial truth

of OUR vulgar Fundamental stasis:

Eating, shitting, fucking.

III. Since true self-improvement

Is masturbation, I never know

when I might bust one off, but,

taking a look at society, I have

sold all of my shares in Kleenex.

IV. Relationships between man and woman

Are nothing more than a game

Of words, gestures

And changing degrees

Of plotted sincerity.

V. Love is understanding

With the suspension of judgment:

To sense the other, thoughtlessly and profoundly.

Our bodies--only portals

Into the surrounding reality.

VI. I’ve only encountered true art

In other people; like how that gambling gypsy

holds a cigarette between his pinkie and ring finger

between hands of hold-'em.

VII. Yesterday and tomorrow

Fade into their unreality

When I recognize this…

VIII. Rather than wasting time

worrying, just assume

Every girl wants to

With you.

I’m sure they do.

IX. Opposites come together:

Where there is love is hate

Soon enough: magnetic and

electric, our differences melt

like any two-faced coin in a foundry.

X. Books are just an easy

Way to learn what

You’ll know by experience,

But most people are illiterate

In both ways.

XI. There is more to discover

In silence and space

Than in words and things,

like the sultry vacuum between

our lips and the cold, unsatisfied

afterglow.

XII. I dunno which I prefer:

Cumming or just after? Noisy

Flatulence or the silent farts

I blame on poor fat souls?

XIII. As an egoist and part-time

Plagiarist, at least

I'll pretend to play the role better

Than everyone else.

XIV. Will the eunuch prophets please euthanize

Themselves? We all can comprehend

that ALL is one grand mind-fuck.

Two Haikus:

A Love Story

My sweaty shoulders

Towered above her body

Pitying the others.

Plan B

I saw my white stuff

ooze down her orchid lips.

Fuck, now I’m the cunt.