SPRING IN HIERON 31: A HANDFUL OF PEOPLE
Transcriber: Cole
Austin: A few evenings after your encounter with the Solarch, Hella, Lem, and Adaire, you each receive a note, carefully written, that you are requested for a brief breakfast under the southern oak in the Last University. The next morning, when you get there, Callowkeen and Maria Velasina, the two members of the Golden Lance have laid out a blanket, have arrived with a couple of large picnic baskets, and tell you that they are about to leave on a journey to continue to create this manual sur- for surviving in the new Hieron. And you kind of just have a nice breakfast. You know, I don’t know what- what a nice picnic breakfast looks like in Hieron. I- I suspect some smoked meats. I suspect some eggs. Um, but what’s there? What is good? What’s good to eat at this breakfast?
Ali: Some nice jams.
Austin: Oh, definitely some jams.
Janine: I was gonna say jam, yeah.
Austin: Oh, I bet you they figured out-
Janine: Big jam culture.
Austin: Yeah, they probably like already started doing this book, and so they’ve probably found some sort of local berry that’s safe to eat from the new Spring. But that has some sort of really like, weird quality. Like, it makes your mouth tingle. But it’s like, ‘it’s ok. It’s fine. I promise. It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt you at all. It’s kind of like a gimmick jam.’
Ali: Ooo. [Keith laughs]
Jack: Oooh. [Austin and Jack laugh]
Austin: [laughing] What? People paid us money for- [everyone is laughing]
Jack: [overlapped] Welcome to these two cops-
Austin: For me to sit in a fuckin’ room and come up with the phrase gimmick jam. Eh, life’s alright.
Jack: Welcome to these two cops’ gimmick picnic. Um, I think there's also like, really good bread.
Austin: Yes.
Jack: When I was in Iceland, there was a bread cooked by the temperature of volcanic earth. Like, you’d put the bread in a container, and then-
Austin: Right.
Jack: -put the container, and then the heat of the earth would cook the bread. And I wonder if there’s something similar with the new Spring. Where it’s like, there’s some property that they can use to like, cook bread really well.
Austin: Do you think the person who figured that out was really smart or really desperate?
Jack: I think like all bits of history, it was a combination of both. [Austin laughs]
Austin: I just think it would be the best to bury some bread in the ground and be like, ‘I hope this fuckin’ works. This better work.’ [Ali and Jack laugh]
Jack: And then being like, ‘It did!’
Austin: [enthusiastically] ‘It did! It is- this is great!’
Keith: I did, and it worked really well.
Austin: ‘We put some gimmick jam on it.’ [Jack laughs]
Jack: What is it- Hang on. I feel like we can’t just say gimmick jam.
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: Beyond it being tingly, what are the gimmicks?
Austin: I think that’s pretty- I think a-
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: -a tingly jam is already a good gimmick.
Janine: I mean, look. That works for the-
Keith: Tingly visually?
[crosstalking]
Janine: There are- there are lip products that sell themselves purely on being kind of tingly-
Jack: Yeah. That’s what I’m saying.
Ali: Right.
Janine: So like that’s- you know.
Austin: Yeah, I had- I was thinking about those mints that I had during the Waypoint, Savepoint stream a couple of weeks ago now, which like, made my entire mouth light up. I don’t remember what they’re called. You’ll have- Look up tingly mints on the internet. Maybe you’ll find them. But they were the weirdest physical sensation I’ve had in a long time. So, that’s what I was thinking of when I said tingly jam.
Keith: Also, it bounces when you throw it.
Austin: No, we can’t just have Jelly Juice again.
Keith: Does jel- Jelly Juice, did that bounce?
Austin: No one threw it. And it bounces. No one threw it. [Keith and Janine laugh] I’m so upset.
Art: Flubber?
Keith: Hey, you knew- you knew that, and we didn’t?
Austin: [laughs] Yes.
Keith: [laughs] Well, here’s- it’s the perfect time to- to reprise it.
Austin: Oh, finally. You know what? Yeah.
[crosstalking]
Keith: Yeah. Finally there’s a jam that bounces.
Austin: Didn’t happen. It didn’t happen on a recording in Twilight Mirage, so here’s what I’ll say. This jam, [laughs] it bounces.
Keith: Do you want to know why no one threw it, by the way? Cause it’s so fucking good. [Austin laughs]
Sylvia: Yeah.
Janine: I don’t know that we get to say we play to find out what happens when you know if all our- all our food bounces or not before we actually [everyone laughs] eat it or throw it.
Austin: No! You play to find out what happens, and what happens is the fuckin’ jelly bounces.
Janine: Great.
Keith: It’s the- [laughs] it’s the spreadsheet right next to the faction spreadsheet, [Austin and Janine laugh] and it’s all the food that we might eat and whether or not it bounces.
Austin: Ughhh, alright.
Sylvia: Quick, somebody throw the eggs and find out. [Austin, Jack, and Keith laugh]
Austin: Here’s the other reason no one does it, cause once you bounce it on the ground, you don’t want to eat it again because it’s already been on the ground.
Keith: Right, yeah. No, it’s good jelly juice.
Janine: Yeah. No one’s gonna like, football spike a nice drink someone gave them. [Austin and Janine laugh] Why would you even decide that was like property?
Austin: You know, when you describe it that way, I badly want to do it.
Ali: You can do like, a cool mixed drink where you drop it in a cup, and it bounces, [Austin gasps] and then you pour more stuff over it.
Austin: Yessss. Yeah, like a little bouncy ball?
Janine: A jager bounce? [Ali laughs]
Austin: Jager bounce. Wooooow.
[Jack de Quidt’s “Something” begins playing in the background]
Austin (continued): Woooow. Wow, we’re- we’re kil- We gotta- You know what? Ali, delete all this. This is ours. [Keith and Ali laugh] We’re totally makin’ these products.
Art: Yeah, we’re opening a restaurant. The podcast is over. [Austin laughs]
Austin: Friends at- We’ll call it Friends at the Table. [Keith laughs]
Keith: Wow, what a- what a smooth parley.
[Jack de Quidt’s “Something” plays out to end]
Austin: Welcome to Friends at the Table, an actual play podcast focused on critical world-building, smart characterization, and fun interaction between good friends. I am your host, Austin. Joining me today, Janine Hawkins.
Janine: I’m Janine Hawkins. I’m at @bleatingheart on Twitter.
Austin: Sylvia[1] Clare.
Sylvia: Hey, I’m Sylvia. You can find me on Twitter @captaintrash and listen to my other show, Emojidrome on your podcast app of choice.
Austin: Andrew Lee Swan.
Dre: Hey, you can find me on Twitter @swandre3000.
Austin: Jack de Quidt.
Jack: Hi. You can find me on Twitter @notquitereal and buy any of the music featured on the show at notquitereal.bandcamp.com.
Austin: Keith Carberry.
Keith: Hi, My name is Keith J Carberry. You can find me on Twitter @keithjcarberry. You can find the Let’s Plays that I do at youtube.com/runbutton.
Austin: Alicia Acampora.
Ali: Um, hey. You can find me @ali_west on Twitter.com. And you can also find the show over @friends_table
Austin: And Art Martinez-Tebbel.
Art: Hey, you can find me on Twitter @atebbel. You can buy our line of merchandise at fangamer. And I believe that because Sylvia mentioned other- mentioned podcast apps, we are contractually obligated to mention that you can find our show on Pandora. [Austin laughs] We don’t get paid for this, but we signed a contract with this obligation anyway.
Austin: We sure did. Uh, as always you support the show- You know what? Pandora-
Keith: Wait, hold on. What?
Austin: Pandora doesn’t- doesn’t pay us for being on their service, but you know who does? You. [Ali and Jack aughs] You can go to friendsatthetable.cash to do what Pandora don’t. [laughs] Support us for as little as a buck a month which gives you access to clapcasts. Let me tell you, if you liked the intro to this episode, [Janine laughs] you would fuckin’ love a clapcast. Let me tell you-
Jack: We gave you a little bonus one.
Austin: We basically did.
Jack: We gave a little bonus clapcast.
Austin: About ten minutes before that little intro we recorded, we talked for- I guess more than ten minutes ago- like, we sort of talked for like, twenty minutes about things like temperature and volume as concepts.
Janine: [overlapped] That we don’t understand.
Austin: And if you want to hear that- Uh huh.
Keith: I just think we- we all as people have about one hour each of clapcast in us at any given time. [Janine laughs]
Austin: At any time. Each!
Keith: Accumulatively that’s eight hours.
Austin: No, cause it’s at any time. By the time you get to the end of that- that thing, we just go back around. It’s infinite clapcast material.
Keith: Yeah, yeah. Right, right. Oh, yeah. Really doesn’t end.
Austin: It doe- it’s a wheel. It’s great. Um, and for a dollar, you can listen to us talk about all sorts of things. For five bucks, you get access also to bonus campaigns, to live games, to all sorts of other- or I guess the live- Yeah, the live game you actually get also for five bucks a month. And there’s a bunch of different tiers. Go to friendsatthetable.cash. I don’t do a- like a hard sell on that that often, but we’re getting to the end of this season, and I think this season has been pretty good. And if you think it’s been pretty good, maybe go give us a buck or five bucks or whatever you think uh- Look- look at those options and be like, ‘oh yeah. That one. That’s the one that fits my budget.’
Keith: Also, there’s no better time to listen to Bluff City cause it- we- there’s a whole season of it.
Austin: There’s a whole season of it. We’re gettin’ ready to go back into Bluff City, season two now. I think I know what the first game is. It’s a good one. [light laugh] I think I figured out exactly what it is today based on our Bluff City chat where Janine sent a video, and I was like ‘oh’- or no, it wasn’t that- It was that- It was actually that plus a previous thing we talked about yesterday, I think. We’ll talk about it off mic. We don’t- Yeah, I’m not gonna spoil it. You’ll have to listen. You’ll have to go to friendsatthetable.cash and spend a couple bucks.
[crosstalking throughout]
Keith: Pay to find out what happens.
Jack: The video Janine just posted?
Austin: It’s- Yes, she posted a video today, but then also- I’m not gonna spoil it on this call. We’re gonna do a game.
Janine: Is the next season, we’re just all gonna be muscly horse men? [Keith laughs]
Austin: Nooo.
Ali: What?
Austin: What?
Sylvia: Could be-
Austin: I posted that. Y- I’m talkin’ about-
Janine: Oh.
Austin: -the [laughing] thing you posted.
Jack: Where’s the muscly-?
Keith: Was it the watch that said ‘fuck’?
Janine: There was the muscly, but also a thing from before that, so I was saying-
Austin: Oh. Oh. Oh, no. It was-
Janine: What if we did a season of buff horse men and squatting frog people?
Austin: That’s this season. [Keith laughs] We’re doing that season now.
Keith: Yeah.
Jack: Oh, there’s the horse.
Janine: Well, just more though.
Keith: I- I created some buff horse men out whole cloth.
Austin: And then also you had the weird frog thing this last-
Janine: No, I- I meant more like, Battletoads, or- Biker Mice from Mars.
Keith: And the frog- Yeah, we- I literally both of- [laughing] I did both of these mascots.
Art: Are we doing Bojack Horseman?
Sylvia: Your- your buff horse men are- are just buff men on horses together, connected.
Keith: Buff horse men. It’s just a different- slightly different emphasis.
Austin: It’s- Yeah.
Sylvia: It’s just- it’s fundamentally different than the one we’re talking about.
Austin: People should google search Kentucky Thoroughblades to understand what we are talking about. They’re- they’re great honestly. Honestly, they’re great.
Janine: Maybe the best team name I’ve ever heard, to be honest. Normally I find them very uninspired. But Thoroughblades for Kentucky is just like-
Austin: For Kentucky ice hockey.
Janine: It’s- [Austin does a chef’s kiss noise] Yeah, it’s just visionary really.
Austin: It really is. Um, alright. So, you have this breakfast. I think, you know, we don’t need to- we don’t need to linger here. We have a lot to get through, I suspect. Because a lot has happened. And it will be a couple of weeks of travel time from the alpha- the Alcyon party. And I want to kind of just montage through that, but before we do that, a lot happened in the last- in both of the last games honestly. And I wanted to have like a brief moment before they get back- before there’s you know, a full party here for the home game, Hella, Lem, and Adaire to like, talk through what happened.
And so I imagine this is- Again, it’s been a couple of days. People have been- people have recovered. I guess, to help like, make sure everyone’s in their right place. Uklan Tel at this point is probably still in recovery from the wounds he suffered. Everyone else kind of made it back ok. And this is I think probably the first moment the three of you have been in the same place for more than a second, you know? More than passing. So, if y’all want to debrief each other on this, and Hella especially who maybe knows stuff the other two don’t, now might be a good time, under this- this whatever type of tree I said it was. An oak tree I think I said.
Janine: I have an important question first.
Austin: Sure.
Janine: Is Barbelo here at our picnic?
Austin: Barbelo is also here. [Ali laughs] Do you have-
Janine: Good.
Austin: Is- are you- do you- Is Barbelo just stuck with you at this point, you think?
Janine: I don- I would like that, but I’m not gonna presume that’s what’s happened. Barbelo is his own person.
Austin: I think- Babelo- Barbelo- You’re right. Ok, well, Barbelo’s a dog. Uh, which is an important distinction to make only because uh, no one’s taken a move-
Janine: Dogs are people on this show. Kodiak.
Austin: Right, but Kodiak is a special animal.
Janine: Ok. [overlapped] He’s the dog.
Austin: And I’m saying if you want to take a move- [laughing] He’s the dog. Exactly. [Ali laughs] If you want to take a move that makes Barbelo ‘you’re the dog,’ you- [laughs] you can do that.
Dre: You’re the dog now, man.
[crosstalking]
Austin: Thank you.
Janine: Mmm. I think I need to take-
Austin: Thanks, Dre. I needed that.
Dre: You’re welcome.
Ali: Aw, rest in peace.
Austin: [laughs] Yeah, right? Um- so yeah, so- so yeah. I think Barbelo is maybe around for this moment, but I actually think Barbelo just kind of lives in the university. Do you know what I mean? Like, neighborhood dog.
Janine: Yeah, I’m gonna be honest. The thing I want- Well, I…
Austin: What’s up?
Janine: [laughing] I don’t know.
Austin: I-
Janine: I had- I hadn’t cons- I’m sorry. I hadn’t considered having Barbelo-
Austin: Uh huh.
Janine: -and it’s really thrown a lot of things [Ali laughs] into like-
Austin: You can still change that move you took. That move you took is great, but having Barbelo could be sick.
Janine: Having Barbelo is way more useful to me than having a d4. [Janine and Austin laugh] Like, tactically.
Austin: Hey, that also pushes that- that 1d6 up to a d8, so it’s not nothin’.
Janine: [sighing] Yeahhh…
Austin: Um, well-
Keith: Those are a great sounding two words. Having Barbelo. [light laugh] [Ali laughs]
Janine: I’m not fightin any- we’re not fighting today probably, so I’m- let’s just not. Let’s put a pin in that for now. Yeah.
Austin: Let’s put a pin in it. We’’l look at- we’ll look at some moves you could theoretically take.
Janine: I just wanted to give him some smoked meat.
Austin: Definitely. Just like, take some meat and just like, runs around to the other side of the tree so that he can like, eat it at a pace that he likes to eat.
Janine: Hell yeah.
Austin: Um, he wants some privacy. Uh, so yes. That answers that question. [Janine laughs] That important question that we sidelined [laughs] things for. Um, Hella, do you lead this or do you just kind of like- do you wait for an opportunity? What’s the deal here?
Ali: Yeah, I don’t know how you bring it up? [laughs]
Austin: Me either. Don’t look at me.
Ali: I feel like- I feel like it’s one of those situations where it’s like, up until now, Hella has sort of tried to just stay normal.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Because I think in her head, she’s like, ‘ok, I have to wait for Hadrian to get back, and then I have to like, talk to the gods and stuff. We have to make a big decision about this.’ So-
Austin: Right.
Ali: ‘I’m just not gonna tell anybody.’ But I think that like, if there’s a part in the conversation where like, you know, Adaire and Lem are just like, casually you know, talking about plans two weeks from now or like, [laughs] talking about the- the fight or whatever, where Hella’s just like,
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: -‘Oh by the way-’ [laughs]
Austin: Yeah, let’s come in there.
Ali: Yeah.
Keith: Just like, slip it in really cas? [short for casually] [Ali laughs-Keith imitates Hella] ‘F.Y.I.’
Austin: Is the thing that- The reason I bring this up is only because I know the other party knows this already because you told-
Ali: Right.
Austin: -Hadrian, who was like- who told- who told everyone there.
Ali: Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, so I think that it’s just Hella like, stopping in the middle of a conversation like, putting her cup down and being like,
Ali (as Hella): Um, I actually have something to tell both of you. Um, now that we’re alone. Um, the- the fight with the Solarch did not go the way that it seemed.
Jack (as Lem): What- what do you mean ‘not the way that it seemed’?
Ali (as Hella): [exhales] We lost.
Jack (as Lem): Uh… no. We- we beat him.
Janine (as Adaire): I killed like, three people. We fuckin’ mowed them into the ground.
Jack (as Lem): I’m really worried about the Advocate, but like, I think we’re-
Janine (as Adaire): Yeah, that one- that was not a- that’s- Yeah. That one- that part was- So, we did lose in that sense, yes.
Austin: I love that Adaire underestimated how many people she killed, and Lem said ‘we’ as if he were there. [Ali and Jack laugh] As if he had done more than one damage.
Ali: Towards me! [giggling] To me!
Janine: Adaire killed two people in the timeline where Hella died-
Austin: Hmm.
Janine: -and three in the one that she came out of, right?
Austin: I- You know, we’d have to go back and check the- check the notes.
Janine: And then- and then like, indirectly Isaac Addelton in a way. [laughs]
Austin: Uh huh. [Ali and Austin laugh] Isaac activated your trap card [Janine laughs] and just got aced.
Janine: Oh that was good. Yeah. [Austin laughs]
Ali (as Hella): Um, what’s different is that I didn’t… The Solarch killed me. And Samot changed it. But no-
Jack (as Lem): What?
Ali (as Hella): Nobody knows that. Um… so yeah. We won. That was great.
Jack (as Lem): No, wait. Go back.
Janine (as Adaire): Yeah, sorry?
Ali (as Hella): I was stabbed…. I remember being stabbed.
Jack (as Lem): By who?
Janine (as Adaire): No you… stabbed. You were the stabber. [Keith and Sylvia laugh]
Ali (as Hella): No, I wasn’t. And I’m gonna die, so I thought the two of you should know. Um… there’s some stuff in the works. [Ali laughs]
Janine (as Adaire): What? [Austin laughs]
Jack (as Lem): What do you mean ‘there’s some stuff in the works’? Are you going to- You seem fine.
Ali (as Hella): I do seem fine.
Jack (as Lem): Are you wounded?
Ali (as Hella): I ha- [exhales] There’s like- [Ali laughs lightly]
Ali: She can’t say the word heart gem, but it’s so- when I say it like that it makes so much sense. Um, [exhales]
Ali (as Hella): When I got hurt, some of that weird black stuff is in there now.
Jack (as Lem): The Dark?
Ali (as Hella): Yeah, that one.
Jack (as Lem): It’s in you?
Ali (as Hella): Uh huh.
Jack (as Lem): Oh, Jesus. Are you ok? I mean like, are you like, in pain?
Ali (as Hella): No… well, am I?
Janine (as Adaire): I don’t- if-
Austin: I don’t know. You tell me. I was gonna ask that. I was actually gonna ask what does this look like.
Jack: Hella being like, ‘Hey, am I in pain?’ is a very Hella move. [Ali and Austin laugh]
Austin: It is.
Keith: ‘Which one is pain?’ [Austin and Keith laugh]
Austin: ‘Is this pain?’ I love this. Um, Hella, I just want to shout out your recurring bit of not knowing the Heat and the Dark. [Ali and Jack laugh] I love it so much. It’s so good.
Keith: [laughs] Wait, is this a recurring thing? I don’t know if I’ve heard that.
Austin: Yeah, uh huh. It’s a recurring thing.
Keith: I did not pick up on this.
Austin: ‘You know, the black fire stuff,’ she’ll say. [Keith laughs hard] [Ali and Austin laugh] It’s really good.
Keith: Heart- heart jam. [everyone laughs]
Austin: Oh, it’s great. Anyway, we’re punchy today cause we know what comes next, I think. [Ali laughs]
Jack (as Lem): Ok, so there’s stuff in the- we can fix this, right?
Janine (as Adaire): Well, it’s already fixed, right? She said that Samot did a thing, and now Hella’s here, so…
Jack (as Lem): Yeah, ok. Ok. So, we’re- we’re good? It was like a close-call.
Janine (as Adaire): It was like a footnote. This is like a- this is like a rough footnote.
Jack (as Lem): Jesus.
Ali: I think- uh, like Adaire and Lem being like, ‘oh, this is fine. This is fine.’ Like, Hella’s just like, drinking her cup again. [Austin laughs and groans] Like and being like, letting them be like, ‘oh, it’s cool.’ [Austin sighs and Ali laughs]
Keith: What stage of grief is the next one after denial?
Austin: Yeah.
Jack (as Lem): Did it like, fix it when… when Samot did the-? Ok, so Samot like- um, it’s called reconfiguration, right? LIke, when he makes it go differently.
Ali (as Hella): Oh, right. Yeah. That one.
Jack (as Lem): And did that fix your-
Ali (as Hella): No.
Janine (as Adaire): Well, what the fuck’s the point then?
Ali (as Hella): Well, everything else.
Janine (as Adaire): Ok.
Jack (as Lem): Couldn’t he fix it so that everything went good and you didn’t-
Janine (as Adaire): Yeah, why not just like…
Janine: Uh, I was [laughing] gonna say scrobble, and Adaire doesn’t- That’s not a word in Hieron. Scrobbling isn’t a thing. [Ali and Austin laugh]
Janine (as Adaire): Why not- why wouldn’t he just like, do it more?
Ali (as Hella): You’re gonna have to ask him. Um, I haven’t yet.
Janine (as Adaire): I’d rather not, honestly.
Ali (as Hella): Yeah, I would also rather not, but I think that I should.
Jack (as Lem): Ok, so we’re gonna have to… Ok. We’re gonna have to tell everyone when they get back.
Ali (as Hella): Well, oh fuck. [laughs] [Keith laughs] Uh, they already-
Janine: Adaire’s eyebrows all the way up. [Austin and Ali laugh] Peaking all the way out.
Ali (as Hella): I think they already know.
Jack (as Lem): What?
Ali (as Hella): I spoke to Hadrian.
Jack (as Lem): What?! Is- is he here?
Ali (as Hella): No. [Ali laughs lightly] Um… I-
Jack: Like, awful dawning in Lem’s face.
Jack (as Lem): Where did you speak to Hadrian?
Ali (as Hella): He’s literally fine. But it was in Adularia.
Janine: Hundred percent not worried about Hadrian’s fineness.
Austin: Wow.
Keith: Damn.
Austin: Wow.
Ali: Well, you should be a little.
Janine: Look! Hella just said ‘Hey, I’m dying.’ [laughs] Fuck Hadrian. [Ali laughs] Sorry.
Art: I’m sitting over here writing my nice Adaire bond, and [Austin and Janine laugh] I feel so attacked right now. [laughs]
Jack (as Lem): Is Hadrian dying?
Ali (as Hella): No. No, no, no. Um, there was something with Ben. Throndir som- did some shit. Uh, we should wait to talk about that later. But they’re both fine. And me and Hadrian just have to figure out a solution, which we’re- we can obviously. And um, I’ll be fine.
Jack (as Lem): What can I do to help?
Ali (as Hella): Um… I don’t know yet.
Janine (as Adaire): What could Hadrian do to help?
Ali (as Hella): Well-
Janine (as Adaire): I mean, if Adelaide couldn’t and Samot couldn’t.
Ali (as Hella): I- You know- we’re- [laughs] We’re not at the plan stage yet, Adaire. [Austin and Janine laugh] But when we are, I’ll reach out.
Janine (as Adaire): When will-
Austin: [Ali laughs] When your crush has a useless partner is- [Jack laughs]
Janine (as Adaire): When are-
Austin: When your crush deserves better.
Janine (as Adaire): [Janine laughing] When are we not at the plan stage on something like this? When is there a non-planning stage at this kind of point?
Ali (as Hella): Well, I just thought we’d wait for them to come back.
Janine (as Adaire): [urgently] We have books and stuff.
Ali (as Hella): [resigned] Yeah. Yeah, I- Yeah. I don’t want to talk to Samot unless Hadrian’s here, so I just kind of want to wait to do that.
Janine (as Adaire): I mean, that part I get, but like, I could’ve looked at some books.
Ali (as Hella): [sighs] Yeah. If you know what books to look at, um I would appreciate that.
Janine (as Adaire): [quietly] I’m gonna find them. I don’t really… I don’t like, know-know. But…
Ali (as Hella): Well, yeah. I mean the library’s right over there, right? We’ll uh… [Ali laughs] it’ll be fine. We’ll look into it. I just wanted you both to know cause it’s weird that you didn’t…
Janine (as Adaire): Yeah.
Austin: And uh, I think Barbelo comes back around and like, [dog foley] ‘roof’. Asks for seconds.
Janine: I think Adaire just gives Barbelo whatever was on her plate. [Ali laughs]
Austin: Uh huh. [laughs] Barbelo just like, pulls the whole plate back around the tree. [Janine laughs] Um, alr-
Jack (as Lem): So, Callowkeen, you’re leaving?
Austin: Oh, Callowkeen’s gone at this point. [Ali, Jack, Janine, and Keith laugh] That was- They were not here for this part of the conversation.
Jack: I didn't know if they were just sitting there like, looking at each other like- [overlapped] ‘oh, geez. Should we like-’
Austin: Yeah, no, no, no. I imagine they had left. They’re- they’re like, exploring the- they’re exploring the wilderness and cataloging the new plants and figuring out ways to like, cook ‘em. Like, to get gimmick jam.
Jack: We’re starting in that way that people who have to leave a community that they’ve you know, gotten comfortable in are like, ‘well, we’re just gonna start with the field down there.’
Austin: [laughs] Yeah, exactly.
Jack: Starting off like, working in the field. Then they're like, ‘we’re gonna spend another night here.’ And then they get like, a little further away.
Austin: ‘I just think it would be best if-’ [light laugh] Yeah, exactly. Um, so yeah, I think the next couple of weeks pass without too much um, incident. Um, Alcyon party, is there anything that is like, super pressing for y’all that you’re like, ‘we need to- we need to like, have this conversation or do this thing’ on the way back or before we get back? It seemed like, no from when I kind of pinged y’all about this before.
Sylvia: Yeah, I don’t- I don’t think I have anything.
Art: Yeah, I mean, we could- we could do- we could’ve done a whole episode on the way back, but I feel like-
Austin: Right. Right.
Art: -we benefit a lot from just having it when everyone’s around.
Austin: Yeah. Totally. Um, one thing I will note is, I think on the way back, um, you do definitely see the moon that has landed in the north. Which- which you somehow missed on the way, and the reason you missed it is cause it wasn’t on the right layer in Roll20, uh- But now you do, and it is- it is uh, pretty well like, wedged in to the ground north of the Isles of Flight. Um, and you don’t get close enough to see any movement or anything like that, but um, but we know that people you know, are starting to actually move there, and parts of the Grand Tour have actually- Maybe you even pass some people who are like, getting into a boat to go that way when you get to like, this curve in the road to come back south.
And so like, you see that some people are moving up to what is like, what is left of the moon, which has become one potential new place to live. Um, and then back on the- in the university like, I think those weeks pass pretty uneventfully. If you want to- if you want to like, read some books during this little bit of downtime, you definitely can. But everyone should heal up all the way. Everyone should get rid of any debilities. One note is I think uh, like you definitely see that Uklan Tel at some point is moved from like, the infirmary back to um, his quarters, but he is not allowed into his- he’s not allowed into his laboratory. Any sort of- any sort of magical implements or books are removed from his quarters.
And he’s effectively under a sort of really broad house arrest. He’s allowed to go places, but he is like, kept under watch at this point. And they are- Corsica is basically like, we have to wait for Ephrim to kind of work out what our decision is about this. But that is what she is deciding to do at this point before making any other- taking any other action here. And then I think everyone gets back- Oh, one- [light laugh] hmm- One other thing is um, at night everyone can see like, something that looks like heat lightning. Red heat lightning to the northwest, towards Velas, towards Twinbrook and Rosemerrow and all that. Like, the clouds at night light up pretty regularly. So, that’s good.
Jack: Towards Velas?
Austin: Towards- in that general direction, right? Baron’s Gate, I guess, is the closest thing to you, but like, the northwest of the continent. Other things, I guess, happen during this montage is like, more homes get built. Um, I know Hella, that was like a big priority of yours. I’m guessing you get back to that?
Ali: Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah that should be finished.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Um, yeah, I think it-
Austin: Well, it might not be finished.
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: It’s a lot of people. But it’s- it’s yeah. Um, the biggest thing right now is like, I think you probably get this told to you pretty like, early on is just like, ‘we don’t have enough food or supplies.’
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: Like, housing is being solved. But-
Janine: We have more food now, right? From the...
Austin: Yes. Totally. Yeah, from the- right, right, right.
Ali: Oh, we took all the like-
Austin: From the um- So, in fact, actually, Sylvia, you should erase that. One of the things you have is like, problem or need or whatever, for food. So, yes. You actually extended that. You solved that problem-
Sylvia: Ok, cool.
Austin: -by getting access to all of these stores that the Dark Son had, which- which will lead through at least this season. I think then maybe the actual problem is this other thing that you still do have which is this like, general lack of resources, right?
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: Which is just like, you come up short on stuff, right? Like, ‘hey, you know, we need- we need some like, rubbing alcohol.’ Like, ‘oo, you know what? It’s really- we don’t have enough right now.’ Or like, ‘oh, there’s like a lack of salt.’ Like, there’s enough at any given moment, but sometimes you go for it, and it’s just not- you don’t have it. Um, everything is just a little bit- like, in a little bit of short supply all the time, which is not doing great things for morale. Um, and then everyone gets back. And everyone’s here at the Last University again. And I think… you know, we get shots of um, Blue J and Benjamin reuniting, and uh, you know, Benjamin like, immediately going into telling them all about the adventure that- that y’all had in Alcyon. And-
Keith: So like, Benjamin’s doing ok with-?
Austin: Yeah, I mean we had that scene at the end of the last session, right? Um, and it’s been a long trip. And I’m sure it’s weird, but… and we’ll get into more of this when Benjamin’s like, actually on screen. I don’t want to be like, ‘here’s what’s going on in Benjamin’s head.’ But I don’t know.
Benjamin- Benjamin loves his dad, who is an adventurer. Benjamin is a nerd and has read about this shit his whole life. And there’s part of him that is leaning in and maybe that’s- maybe it’s just what you’ve picked up on on this trip back, maybe that is protective like, maybe that is a defense mechanism to some degree, but like, ‘hey, I’m doing the cool shit my dad used to do when he went away’ is not an unthinkable response to this, you know?
Art: We probably just shouldn’t even engage with it.
Austin: Yeah, it’s probably totally cool. [Austin, Keith, and Ali laugh] Quick-
Dre: Best thing for a parent to do really.
Keith: Uh, you know what they say about sleeping dogs is um- [Ali laughs, Austin laughs and groans]
Austin: Is- is- Real quick question. Who has Arrell’s spellbook and also his staff?
Dre: Oh shit.
Austin: And also his letter to Alyosha. And also the crown he made for Samot.
Sylvia: Uh…
Art: I think Hadrian obviously has the crown he made for Samot.
Austin: Uh huh. Yeah, uh huh.
Keith: I can do some spells. Maybe I have the spellbook.
Dre: I think Throndir would go for the staff.
Sylvia: I’ll take the letter then.
Austin: Alright. Um, on-
Art: Be super careful with that spellbook though. [light laugh]
Austin: On the trip home, Benjamin is definitely like, asking you every day to read from the spellbook for a little while, Fero. Like, a library. Um, and he never like, goes away with it or anything, but he definitely like, is just like, trying to read more magic shit. Anyway, you’re all back. Um, I think Rosana heads like, right to the temple to like, make sure everything is good there. Asks you to drop off ever- just like,
Austin (as Rosana): Can you drop off our stuff at home? I just need to check in.
Austin: Basically. Um, Hadrian and then… yeah. I think everybody else gets a day to recover and then- and then what happens? Is there a big team meeting? Is there a big team dinner? Who goes about setting something like that up? Cause I know we need to have one, you know?
Ali: Yeah, I mean, I feel like Corsica and Ephrim have to talk to everybody.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Ali: And also as like, a group.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Like… I’m throwing a party later, but I don’t know that that’s this. [laughs]
Austin: No, this doesn’t seem like a party. This seems like a- this seems like a- like a war table chat.
Sylvia: I think-
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: A debrief.
Sylvia: I think Corsica and I could like, send out guards to bring every- like, just to- Not totally be like, ‘hey, come with me.’ [Austin laughs] But to be like, ‘hey, you- you’re...’
Austin: [trying to assist] ‘-presence-’ Yeah.
Sylvia: ‘-requested at like, here’. Yeah.
Austin: Gotcha ya. Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that’s true. Um, do you have any words with Corsica before people show up as your the only two in the kind of war room?
Sylvia: I think I fill her in a bit on the like, one, what happened when we were away. That goes without saying.
Austin: Yeah.
Sylvia: But mostly on the fact that like, the plan that we had for getting a military through building pala-din is not gonna work out.
Austin: Uh hm.
Sylvia: And that like, we need to- I think it’s a lot of just business talk.
Austin: Yeah, yeah.
Sylvia: It’s a lot of just like, ‘we need to strengthen this. Like, the housing is going well, but we need to also be aware that we’re not gonna be as strong and like-’
Austin: Yeah, she’s bummed about the- the pala-din, but also not that surprised. I think she’s- She even comes out and says like,
Austin (as Corsica): I’ve known a lot of people who… This isn’t the first time that someone with good intentions has thought ‘what if I can have an unthinking army?’
Austin: And doesn’t push it. You know, like, she isn’t like, ‘but we should still do it’ because it was not that long ago that her army was specifically people who were being unclassified as people or being classified as non-people. So, this is- this is a pretty clear thing for her where she stands. So, even though she can be kind of hostile and aggressive at times, she ain’t here trying to have slaves. So-
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: Um, and also understands that like, even the- even you- if you wanted to do it quote-unquote the right way where you had pala-din, but also had a plan to like, let them be people and part of your society, like we don’t have the resources for that, you know?
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: We don’t have enough salt, so…
Sylvia: I feel like the big like, good take away that we have is like, ‘well, we built a relationship with Alcyon, at least.’
Austin: Totally. Totally. Alright.
Keith: And we- you know, we killed Arrell.
Austin: Right, so that is the-
Sylvia: That one, too. That’s the big one.
Austin: Yeah. At this point, we can all be here. Everyone can be here, and I think in terms of NPCs who show up, Rosana, Sunder, um Red Jack, Victoria and Gloria are probably both here for this. Um, [exhales] Chatterchin as probably like, a representative from the civilian population again. And probably Uklan Tel in mannacles, though maybe not- Maybe- Hmm. Probably not.
Ali: I don’t think he should be.
Sylvia: No.
Austin: No, I don’t think he’s allowed to hear any of this. He could be called for.
Jack: It’s like, a da- it’s like a point of danger, right?
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jack: Like, we can bring him in as a kind of like-
Austin: Yes.
Jack: -’we have questions for you.’ But-
Austin: Uh hm. Yeah, but I don’t think he’s- I don’t think that Corsica wants him here. And I think that that’s it. Is there anyone else who would be here? I don’t think so. I think that’s the- that’s the crew. And then all of you. Um, I think Corsica opens by saying,
Austin (as Corsica): First and foremost, I want to thank all of you for the difficult work over the past few weeks. And I want to take a moment to say how thankful I am that we’ve all made it back ok. These are trying times. And not every victory is necessarily as clear as [exhales] the one that Adaire and Hella and Sunder achieved- and Red Jack, of course-
Austin: And Red Jack goes,
Austin (as Red Jack): Mmm.
Austin (as Corsica): -over- over the Solarch, but to those of you who went to Alcyon, the relationship that we built there, I’m sure will be a boon for the time to come. But also, it seems like we still have lots of work to do. [exhales] Does anyone have any business to raise before we talk about what we do next?
Janine (as Adaire): Um, I have this list of members of the cult that I feel like I should probably mention.
Austin: You think you probably handed that to her by now previously?
Janine: I don’t know because-
Austin: You think you sat on it?
Janine: -I don’t think I trust her. [light laugh]
Austin: Ok, fair, fair, fair.
Janine: I don’t think I trust her alone the way I trust her in a group, in terms of accountability.
Austin: Right. Yeah, fair.
Janine: And I think- I think- Well, I mean, I’ll just say it, um-
Janine (as Adaire): I don’t think it’s a good time- I don’t think it’s helpful or constructive to go after these people in the way we might have a few weeks ago.
Austin (as Corsica): Those who still remain are probably the ones who are the least of our worries. Anyone who we had to fear from, was probably fled the moment their weekly check-in didn’t occur.
Janine (as Adaire): And if people start seeing people disappearing, that’s not gonna- that's not gonna drive people away from that cause.
Austin (as Corsica): Still a useful thing to have though. Thank you.
Keith: Who’s on it? Anyone good?
Austin: It’s a list of people- uh, it’s- it’s not any- I mean, the people who are dead, right? So, it’s like two of the- two members of the orc leadership. It’s the Lardwulf. It’s Espanarde- is it Espanarde or it is Elan? It’s Espanarde the Great and Eclectic.
Janine: I think it’s Espanarde.
Austin: Yeah. And then a bunch of people whose names you don’t know, right? People who just live here. There’s no like, big twist left. Uklan Tel was the big one, right? Uklan Tel was the one who was like, ‘we have business with him,’ you know?
Janine: Lots of people who just wanted to be taken care of. Like-
Austin: Yes. Yes. Yes. Um, Alcyon folks, anything else you want to bring to the attention of the table? [someone exhales] Uh, Fero, was that Arrell comment in character before or out of character cause we hadn’t really transitioned yet.
Keith: Um, I think it was- I think it was out of character.
Austin: Ok.
Keith: Let’s do that now.
Austin: Sure.
Keith (as Fero): Oh, we killed Arrell. He’s dead.
Jack (as Lem): Wait, dead?
Keith (as Fero): Dead. Well…
Austin: Sunder’s eyebrows go all the way up.
Keith (as Fero): Almost definitely all the way dead.
Art (as Hadrian): Definitely all the way dead.
Keith (as Fero): It was-
Ali (as Hella): He’s definitely dead.
Keith (as Fero): Obviously it was an ordeal, and it was a very tense situation, but it wasn’t so bad, all said, right?
Jack (as Lem): How did- how did you kill him?
Keith (as Fero): Uh, which time?
Jack (as Lem): What?
Sylvia (as Ephrim): There were a few times.
Keith (as Fero): We killed him like five times. That dude’s resilient.
Jack (as Lem): One wasn’t enough?
Keith (as Fero): No. Um, Hadrian, do you want to take this part?
Art: Woah. [laughs]
Austin: Red Jack crosses his arms slowly. Just to note.
Art (as Hadrian): Um, yeah, thank- thank you, Fero. Um, Throndir uh, shot and killed my son-
Jack (as Lem): What?
Janine (as Adaire): [incredulous] What?!
Ali (as Hella): [quietly] I just told you guys that.
Art (as Hadrian): -who was the um- What’s the lich word?
Austin: Phylactery.
Keith: Phylactery.
Art (as Hadrian): It was-
Austin (as Red Jack): Phylactery-
Austin: Er what’s the- Does he know the name? Uh, yeah, he knows. Yeah,
Austin (as Red Jack): Phylactery.
Art (as Hadrian): Phylactery. It turns out Benjamin was the phylactery, and don’t worry. I- I’ve negotiated Benjamin’s return from the Queen of Death.
Jack (as Lem): Oh Jesus, Hella. Is this what you were- Oh god. [Austin laughs]
Janine (as Adaire): Ok.
Ali (as Hella): Yeah. See, it’s a win-win.
Jack (as Lem): So, your plan is- Hadrian, how have you negotiated Benjamin’s return?
Art (as Hadrian): Oh, um, I need to fix Hella’s-
Jack (as Lem): Right.
Art (as Hadrian): -Heat and the Dark problem.
Jack (as Lem): Oh Jesus. Ok.
Art (as Hadrian): Or I have to replace her.
Austin (as Red Jack): Hella’s Heat and the Dark problem?
Jack (as Lem): Or you have to what? [Janine groans]
Austin: Asks Red Jack.
Ali (as Hella): It’s not gonna come to that. And uh-
Art (as Hadrian): Yeah, we’re working on it.
Jack (as Lem): It’s not gonna come to what?
Keith: [jokingly] Hella has got some heart jam. [Ali and Jack laugh]
Austin: Right. Yeah. It’s the worst gimmick jam. Sunder’s- Sunder also is like-
Austin (as Sunder): What is- what? What is the problem here? The Heat and the Dark? Hella?
Ali (as Hella): Uh, yeah. Um, yeah, uh…. So, during the fight I died… But Samot reconfigured it.
Ali: And I think she’s like, looking at Lem like, ‘I remembered.’ [laughs]
Austin: Um-
Jack: And Lem’s like, nodding like- [Ali laughs]
Ali (as Hella): Samot reconfigured it and-
Austin (as Red Jack): That’s impossible.
Austin: Says Red Jack.
Ali (as Hella): You should talk to him. [Austin exhales a small laugh]
Art: Weird that we didn’t invite him.
Austin: Yeah, I guess, that’s a good- that’s a good point. Did anyone invite him?
Janine: Someone must have, right?
Keith: Oh my god, did we forget to invite Samot?!
Austin: And Severea. Neither of them- neither of them are around is what I will just say.
Ali: Ok.
Janine: Mm.
Ali: Oh.
Austin: We haven’t seen them in a couple of days.
Ali: He usually doesn’t come to these anyway.
Austin: Yeah, that’s true.
Jack: Thinks he’s above them.
Janine: Givin’ into that gimmick wine. [Keith laughs]
Austin: Red Jack says again, like doubles down. He goes,
Austin (as Red Jack): It is impossible that… Samot reconfigured anything.
Ali (as Hella): Well, I fucking saw it, and I was there being stabbed. And then all of you were moving around differently, but I wasn’t. And you won. You know, all of that good stuff that you thought that you did, you didn’t only do.
Austin (as Red Jack): [gravely] We need to find him now.
Jack (as Lem): Is he in danger?
Austin (as Red Jack): Is he in danger?
Jack (as Lem): Wait, why- why… why did we need to find him?
Keith (as Fero): Are we gonna be in trouble?
Austin (as Red Jack): The world that we have is [exhales] a precarious thing when [exhales again] the narcissistic can rewrite it. We’ve been blessed by a period of eons in which they couldn’t. [Jack/Lem false starts and sighs]
Janine (as Adaire): Yeah, it would definitely be an improvement if the Solarch was still alive and Hella was like, real dead instead of just whatever- [sighs] this-
Austin (as Red Jack): That is not what I mean. In fact, it is a good example. The Solarch is dead, but what she has told us is that there was a cost. What cost will he say is worth it for whatever his next vision is? Maybe you or I.
Jack (as Lem): Well…
Ali (as Hella): There’s worse compromises.
Austin (as Red Jack): Hm.
Jack (as Lem): Are there? Um, what’s the- Ok. Ok. Right, so we got Arrell, and he’s done, right? Like, we don’t need to worry about Arrell?
Keith (as Fero): Oh, yeah. We poisoned him and burned him alive and beat him to death and shot him. Yeah, he’s dead.
[crosstalking]
Art (as Hadrian): He’s already entered the kingdom of the dead.
Janine (as Adaire): This is all really just making me more worried that it isn’t enough.
[crosstalking]
Ali (as Hella): No, we saw him die.
Art (as Hadrian): I- I saw him. Yeah.
Ali (as Hella): Yeah.
Art (as Hadrian): Hella and I saw him all the way actually die.
Ali (as Hella): Yeah.
Jack (as Lem): Ok. So, perhaps now we should talk about the dragon.
Austin: Sun- Sunder- uh, yeah, we can do that. Uh, or no, I think in this moment, Sunder says,
Austin (as Sunder): What about Velas- Has anyone- has anyone checked in?
Art (as Hadrian): No, we were the other way.
Austin (as Sunder): No, but I- Has anyone heard word? Has anyone-
Austin: Uh, and Corsica-
Keith (as Fero): No, we were the other way. [Austin and Dre laugh]
Austin: I think Corsica says,
Austin (as Corsica): Scouts have seen an increased number of um- of refugees coming from that direction.
Jack (as Lem): There was the lightning.
Austin (as Corsica): Yeah.
Jack (as Lem): We saw lightning. Um, [overlapped] do we have any-
Austin (as Corsica): And I suspect-
Austin: Says Corsica,
Austin (as Corsica): -that that lightning was the dragon which got away.
Ali (as Hella): You think that’s dragon lightning?
Austin (as Corsica): I have suspicions.
Austin: She says.
Keith (as Fero): Is that the bone one that I heard about?
Jack (as Lem): So-
Janine (as Adaire): It got all goopy, and it’s bad.
Jack (as Lem): Fero, I have some bad news.
Keith (as Fero): Yeah?
Jack (as Lem): The cult of the Dark Son performed some kind of ritual on the bones of Samol. And they created from those bones a… a beast. A- a dragon. Um, but it’s not him. We know that it’s not him. And- and we didn’t know that they were going to- It was kind of like a pair with the Solarch. I think they worked together.
Keith (as Fero): P-E-A-R?
Jack (as Lem): Yeah. Uh, no. Like, P-A-I-R. Not like a P-E-A-R.
Janine (as Adaire): Glad you’re taking this well.
Jack (as Lem): Um, the Sol- They call it the Acolyte, this dragon.They don’t- It’s like they don’t even describe it as Samol.
Austin: The Advocate. The Advocate. The Advocate. [Jack laughs] The acolyte is a different-
Jack: No, no, no. They call it the acolyte. [Austin and Keith laugh]
Austin: Great. Good.
Keith (as Fero): Wait, so he’s someone’s like, peon? Like a minion?
Jack: No, sorry. Ok.
Jack (as Lem): They call it the Advocate. It’s- it works with the Solarch. But somehow without the Solarch, it’s- it’s goin’ off, and it’s kind of continuing to do it’s own stuff. But I- I wanted to tell you because I didn’t want you to learn from somewhere else that that thing used to be Samol, if that makes sense.
Keith (as Fero): It’s borrowing- it’s borrowing Samol’s big- big bones.
Jack (as Lem): Right. That’s it. That’s it exactly. It’s borrowing them. It’s like, not- it’s-
Keith (as Fero): Or stealing them really. Stole- They stole his big, big bones.
Austin (as Victoria): It’s unlikely that- that it will give it- give them back,
Austin: Says Victoria.
Keith (as Fero): Right.
Austin (as Victoria): People have fought-
Keith (as Fero): Have you tried asking?
Janine (as Adaire): Oh yeah.
Austin: She looks at Red Jack, and she says like,
Austin (as Victoria): Yeah.
Keith (as Fero): Damn.
Austin (as Victoria): We’ve- we’ve tried asking.
Jack (as Lem): We fought this thing um, the Advocate, and it was like, really-
Jack: Like, Lem is looking at Adaire and Hella.
Keith (as Fero): You fought a dragon? [Austin laughs lightly]
Jack (as Lem): Yeah.
Ali (as Hella): We did pretty good up until uh…
Janine (as Adaire): Uh…
Ali (as Hella): -we didn’t.
Janine (as Adaire): -sure.
Jack (as Lem): It, like, took all day. It was like- it was intense. We fought it kind of twice, right? Did we try and fight- did you guys try and fight it in the-?
Ali (as Hella): Sure fought me.
Janine (as Adaire): I- I’d almost call it one and a half more than twice, but…
Austin (as Victoria): It’s very dangerous.
Austin: Says Victoria Solomon.
Janine (as Adaire): Very hard to climb.
Austin (as Victoria): And even harder now that it’s flying everywhere.
Janine (as Adaire): And goopy.
Austin (as Victoria): It probably solidified by now, is my guess. When we-
Keith (as Fero): Wait, so what was the goop from?
Jack (as Lem): Like a body. I think they’re building it a body. I don’t even- Like, there was… like a lot happened.
Austin: Doctor- doctor-
Janine (as Adaire); Did you see that sun blood egg?
Keith (as Fero): If I stole someone’s gigantic bones to make a dragon, I would keep it bone. But that’s just me.
Austin: Um, the- Rosana says,
Austin (as Rosana): We did see the big blood egg. We did. Yes.
Keith (as Fero): Oh yeah. That sucked.
Austin (as Rosana): We figured it was y’all working on something.
Jack (as Lem): No.
Art (as Hadrian): And I miss when we said goopy less. [Austin, Jack, and Keith laugh]
Austin: Doctor Gloria Lake says, um,
Austin (as Gloria): It’s less goopy-
Keith (as Fero): The blood egg was also kind of goopy.
Austin (as Gloria): It’s more gel-y. It- it was using the- the gel that Uklan Tel made. The Uklan Gel.
Keith (as Fero): Uklan Gel.
Austin (as Gloria): -is I believe what we’ve all decided to call it.
Keith (as Fero): Jinx.
Austin (as Gloria): Yes. Jinx. At this point, it’s probably solidified. And it… I… I don’t know how to stop it yet. And normally that’s my thing. I do some research. I figure out how to stop it.
Austin: And Red Jack says,
Austin (as Red Jack): We hit it hard enough.
Austin (as Gloria): Ok, but it’s flying.
Keith (as Fero): Wait, did you say Uklan Tel?!
Dre (as Throndir): Yeah.
Jack (as Lem): He’s a traitor.
Ali (as Hella): Can he make a counter-gel?
Austin (as Gloria): A counter-gel.
Ali (as Hella): Yeah, he-
Janine (as Adaire): I think that’s boiling water.
Keith (as Fero): Like a table gel?
[crosstalking]
Austin (as Gloria): Like a- like a-
Keith (as Fero): Sorry, I’m misunderstanding things.
Ali (as Hella): Well, yeah, like a hot, boiling counter- gel to break down-
Austin (as Gloria): Like a dissolving agent.
Ali (as Hella): Yeah.
Austin (as Gloria): Maybe. Maybe.
Ali (as Hella): He should be good for fucking something after all this.
Jack (as Lem): I’m gonna go and talk to him. I- I-
Keith (as Fero): I can’t believe it. He seems like such- like a- like a nerd.
Janine (as Adaire): Yeah, that’s how- that’s how they get ya. [Austin laughs lighty]
Jack (as Lem): Ok, so-
Austin: So, dragon. Uh-
Jack (as Lem): We don’t-
Austin: Let me put the stakes- I think- I think Victoria puts the stakes very clearly actually. Cause I always want to be a hundred percent clear on what the various stakes at play are here. So, she says,
Austin (as Victoria): Whatever we do, we gotta figure it out quick because every day that that thing’s alive is a decade that the Heat and the Dark gets closer. I don’t-
Ali (as Hella): Wait.
Austin (as Victoria): I don’t-
Keith (as Fero): You don’t think we can go just kill it now? I’ll just go now.
Austin (as Victoria): We can- [Janine sighs and laughs] [Jack laughs] You can try, Fero, but I- I- [exhales]
Ali (as Hella): Fero, can you turn into a dragon?
Keith (as Fero): If you gave me a couple weeks maybe?
Art (as Hadrian): That’s a hundred and forty years.
Ali (as Hella): Maybe like a- Can you take a week? Can you just dedicate-?
[crosstalking]
Keith (as Fero): I could- I could- I could maybe do something that was like, half-dragon maybe.
Janine (as Adaire): We could bring you the gel. You wouldn’t have to make the gel yourself.
Keith (as Fero): I could do half dragon really fast, I think.
Austin: The rules are weird. The rules have a bunch of loopholes. [Ali laughs]
Keith: Yeah. [laughs] With a lot of loopholes.
Austin: I could do a half red dragon, half silver dragon, but I couldn’t do a red dragon or a silver dragon. [laughs]
Ali (as Hella): Oh, if you did half of a dragon, what would the other half be?
Keith (as Fero): Uh, um… I did a bear-scorpion.
Ali (as Hella): That would work.
Keith (as Fero): And- Right. So, I could do maybe scorpion-dragon or bear-dragon. Or I could do bear-scorpion-dragon. Or I could-
Janine (as Adaire): Could you make a dragon that’s like, three head ends, but no tail?
Ali (as Hella): Ooo.
Janine (as Adaire): Like a throwing star dragon? Does that count?
Ali: Wait.
Keith: Three heads, but no tail.
Sylvia: Would that be a-
Austin: That’s not a dragon; that’s a snake.
Keith (as Fero): That I think would take me a while. I think that would take me a while.
Austin: That’s- You’re describing a snake-ish-ken. A ninja snake.
Janine: [laughing throughout] Three- I’m actually- I’m describing a fidget spinner. Thank you.
Austin: Ok. [Sylvia laughs]
Keith: I- So- So, I think I could do that, but it would run- it would run the risk that I might make a- like a bunch of those by accident. [Austin laughs]
Janine: [laughs] Ok.
Keith: [laughing] And we don’t want to do that. We don’t want to-
Austin: Not so much.
Janine: No.
Keith: We don’t want to fill the world with some fidget spinner dragons. [Austin laughs]
Art: Yeah, I’m comfortable with zero of those rather than a chance of one or a lot.
Austin: Um, so that’s the dragon. If it lives for- if it lives, the Summer will get here is me, the GM, being clear on this. It is- it is- You know, it is not the Heat and the Dark, but it is an Advocate for the Dark. It is- it is something that will be able to burst the things that we think keep us safe now. The Spring and the star stuff. It will push those fights in the direction of the Heat and the Dark. It will terrorize people in such a way- and I think maybe actually, we already get some of this. I think maybe even um, Corsica can speak about this, and say like,
Austin (as Corsica): Some of those refugees from Velas, they’re not coming here. They’re either going south- they’re passing through to go south to Marielda where Ordenna is or they’re going east to the Shredded Steppe, to the stars. And they think- They’re thinking that those places might be safer because those star shield that Arrell left behind did not keep the Advocate from getting them.
Austin: [still in Corsica’s voice] This is information I had, but didn’t say moments ago because Austin didn’t look at the sheet to remember that I was the one who had it. [Jack and Sylvia laugh]
Jack (as Lem): Hm. Do we know- If we take it down, do we know how much of a threat the Dark will continue to be?
Austin: Um, I think Victoria says um,
Austin (as Victoria): The Heat and the Dark will be a problem for as long as it’s the thing. You know, I don’t know. The stars. The Spring. One of those maybe uh, becomes the new thing. But um, it’s always gonna be there. Background. It’s always there. But I know as long as that dragon’s in the air- You know, this continent used to be bigger. Just... all the way down. It burned. The last time there was an Advocate. Just whole chunk gone. And uh, I don’t know what’ll stop it this time, but I guess it’ll be us. Anyway, Ordenna, you said. That’s a good topic. Um, does anyone have any updates about Marielda? Didn’t come up. Ok.
Ali (as Hella): No.
Jack (as Lem): There’s money starting to show up.
Keith (as Fero): Have I heard something? I don’t think-
Austin: Money is starting to show up more and more. Yeah, I think that’s- that’s true.
Jack: Oh.
Austin: There’s a lot of gold moving through here with-
Jack: Are we taking it as currency?
Austin: Yeah, of course.
Jack: We’re just like, ‘oh, that’s real money.’
Austin: I mean who’s ‘we,’ right? Are people taking it?
Jack: Uh, the university. Yeah, like- like-
Austin: Do you want to tell someone- When a refugee shows up with fifty gold coins that just have the emp- the uh, the Impetor Fela Malle’s face on it, do you want to tell that person they’re not allowed to buy food.
Jack: No, not at all.
Austin: Right?
Jack: No, I’m just- I’m saying that like, it feels like a-
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: It- it’s an interesting narrative decision either way. Whether it’s like, ‘ok, fine. We’ll take that money.’ That’s- you know.
Austin: I think Corsica did not make the decision not to take that money.
Jack: Yeah.
Austin: Corsica did not put out a law that was like, ‘you’re not allowed to take their- their money.’
Jack: ‘No- No, none of Malle’s money.’
Austin: Yeah. Yeah.
Jack: Yeah.
Janine: I mean, also it makes sense because people who are coming from Velas down- who are going through-
Austin: Right.
Janine: -going down to Marielda might pass through here and want that money, so there is still a like-
Austin: Totally.
Janine: It’s not like, we just have to throw it in a pile and burn it. Like-
Austin: [light laugh] Right. Right. Yeah, no. Totally. And also, you know, people are using moth coins here probably, too. And people are using, you know, old Rosemerrow money. Like, it’s a fuckin’ mess, and they’re probably worth weird amounts, you know?
Jack: It’s like, ‘I’ll take three of those or I’ll take forty of these.’
Austin: Yes, exactly. There is probably like, a very strange fluctuating um, exchange rate-
Keith: I uh-
Austin: -but not like, daily. Probably like, weekly of something.
Jack: It’s the-
Keith: I already brought this up today in the Bluff City thing, but that reminds me of the David Lynch quinoa recipe.
Austin: Wait, what the David- What?
Jack: The David Lynch quinoa recipe?
Keith: The David Lynch quin- Yeah, where he tells a story about the train while it’s cooking. I definitely know that we’ve all seen this.
Jack: I’ve seen the video. I don’t remember a- a-
Keith: Oh, he buys a soda with a- with a coin, and they give him back change. And then he goes to a different stop and buys something with the change that he got. And they just kept- He just like- They kept handing me coins. Like handfuls of coins. [Jack laughs]
Austin: Oh. [laughs] Weird.
Keith: It was- Yeah, really weird.
Austin: Um, so yeah. That is- that is I think the situation here.
Ali: Um, did Jerod have any spies still with Marielda?
Austin: [exhales] That’s a thing you can roll for. To look through that book again.
Ali: Ok. Yeah.
Austin: When- During- during this downtime.
Ali: Ok, yeah. I was gonna offer to do that roll to Corsica now. Cool.
Austin: Uh, [exhales] I think Corsica is probably the one who is like,
Austin (as Corsica): It’s not a dragon, but if there’s anything left after the Advocate is dealt with, I’m sure Ordenna will be poised to rule it all with an iron fist. So, something else to think about. The last thing we want is more of our people going there. Not just because they’ll end up conscripted into a- an army meant to die, but because frankly, I just... I think... I think- We should… we should-
Austin: There is something like, very imperial in the way she is- She is struggling not to say ‘we should be the ones’ to figure out-
Jack: Oh, to rule?
Austin: To rule, right?
Jack: Hmmm. Does she say like, ‘not them’? Does she flip it into a negative?
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jack: Like, ‘it shouldn’t be them.’
Austin: She just- I think- Yeah, she just stumbles until she just says,
Austin (as Corsica): Not them.
Jack (as Lem): Huh. And then Hella.
Austin (as Corsica): And then Hella.
Ali (as Hella): Yeah.
Jack (as Lem): So, what’s the plan there? [Ali sighs] Really? Wait, really?
Janine (as Adaire): Still not the planning phase?
Jack (as Lem): We don’t have anything?
Keith (as Fero): We could put Hella in the dragon.
Jack (as Lem):, No, Fero-
Janine (as Adaire): No.
Ali (as Hella): Excuse me?
Jack (as Lem): Fero, oh Jesus christ. [laughs]
Keith (as Fero): Did I miss anything?
Ali (as Hella): I would- I would prefer not to be a dragon. [laughs]
Janine: [laughs] I just thought of a thing I can’t say. Continue. [Sylvia laughs]
Austin: Great. Good.
Jack (as Lem): I mean, we could see if we could use Tel. I don’t know. I’m just spitballing here. Um, how long do you have?
Ali: Uh- [laughs] I think she just kind of looks at Hadrian confused like-
Ali (as Hella): A couple weeks, probably?
Dre (as Throndir): And what exactly do you need?
Austin: Yeah, so I think the Alcyon party. Y’all brought back like, pala-din plans, right?
Art: We did, yes.
Austin: And like, specifically you- Was it just generic plans or was it specifically to make a Tabard style body? I’m pretty sure the goal as spoken was a Tabard style body that could only be made in- in the Mark of the Erasure and Samot’s old tower or somewhere in Marielda.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Art (as Hadrian): Yeah. The goal of which is to put Hella in that.
Austin: Right.
Jack (as Lem): What? We’re gonna-
Art (as Hadrian): To make that the new Hella.
Janine (as Adaire): Why? Mmm.
Jack (as Lem): Ok, will she still be- Will it be like, the same- Will it be you?
Art (as Hadrian): That’s really a question for philosophers. [Austin and Keith] I think we all agree does not apply to myself or Hella. The people spearheading this plan.
Austin: Yeah, uh hm.
Jack (as Lem): That’s why I asked it.
Janine (as Adaire): Have we ever had one of those that isn’t like, a monstrous, horrible murder robot?
Art (as Hadrian): Yeah, we met Tabard.
Sylvia (as Ephrim): Like, a lot of ‘em, actually.
Janine (as Adaire): Oh, ok.
Sylvia (as Ephrim): Yeah. They’re pretty nice.
Janine: Have I met those?
Austin: Um…
Art: No.
Keith: Probably not.
Austin: Probably not. Have you ever met a good- like, a person? I don’t think you’ve met a person pala-din yet. No.
Janine: Adaire’s met like, cool star people. LIke-
Austin: Yes.
Janine: But I don’t- Yeah, I don’t know that she has that experience.
Austin: No, I don’t- I don’t even think there were any- Were there any pala-din in Aubade? I don’t think so. How is there not?
Janine: Yeah, I think Adaire’s only experience-
Austin: Yeah.
Janine: -with pala-din is like, the forest shit.
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just fought them a bunch.
Janine: And controlled them with plates and stuff. [laughs]
Austin: Uh huh.
Janine: Like, that’s- that’s not like, a good… That doesn’t seem good to me.
Ali (as Hella): Wait, so you- you brought back like a- a vessel for me to just…?
Austin: No, I don’t think that’s true. I don’t think anyone-
Art (as Hadrian): No, we brought back like a diagram.
Ali (as Hella): Oh. Thanks. [Austin laughs]
Art (as Hadrian): They didn’t like, have ‘em.
Austin: Quick question. Does Hella know what a diagram is? [Ali laughs throughout] Cause that was like, the sound of someone who [Keith laughs] was told- was told ‘oh, I got some macaroons for us later,’ and has no idea what a macaroon is.
Jack: They’re like, ‘Oh, damn. Ok.’
Jack (as Lem): Um, ok, so we have to get- aw, Jesus. So, we have to get Hella to the Mark of the Erasure?
Art (as Hadrian): Or to the City of First Light.
Jack (as Lem): Ok, or to the City of First Light?
Keith (as Fero): Or to the Mark of the Erasure.
Jack (as Lem): Ok. Or to the Mark of the Erasure.
Janine (as Adaire): Well, we’re going to one of them already.
Keith (as Fero): I’m very familiar with that place.
Ali (as Hella): Wait, which one?
Keith (as Fero): And it’s not filled with a- with jerks. The Mark of the Erasure.
Ali (as Hella): Well, if we have to go to Marielda anyway.
Jack (as Lem): Do you have enough time?
Art (as Hadrian): Great question. I think so.
Austin: It’s been a couple weeks. Hella, I’m curious. Is there a- What does this feel like?
Ali: I don’t know. I- I bet she feels a little weaker, right?
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Or like-
Austin: Fatigue?
Ali: Yeah. Yeah, fatigue is probably the thing. Where it’s just like-
Austin: Like, that part of the flu that you can have where you’re just like, ‘ugh, I- I’m not- like, my head cold is gone-’
Ali: Right.
Austin: ‘-but I’m just a little sore and like, tired.’
Ali: Yeah. Or it’s just like, I- you know, tomorrow- If I drink a bunch of orange tonight, I’m not gonna be sneezing tomorrow, but I just have to live through the rest of this day.
Austin: Uh hm.
Ali: But that’s just like, the experience that her life is now.
Austin: Uh huh. [Ali laughs] Yeah. And maybe it’ll get worse as the days continue.
Ali: We shall see.
Keith (as Fero): Did we- did we hammer out a plan for the dragon thing though?
Ali (as Hella): We gotta go there, right?
Keith (as Fero): We gotta just go do it.
Jack (as Lem): I mean, Fero, if there’s anything that like- any advice we can give you here, it’s that that thing really means business. Like it super means business. That-
Austin (as Rosana): Wait.
Austin: Rosana says,
Austin (as Rosana): We can’t just move- we’ll talk about the dragon in a minute, but Hella, are you… Are you sure you want this? That’s the only question that matters right this moment.
Ali (as Hella): Which- which part?
Austin (as Rosana): A pala-din body. I- I- [exhales]
Keith (as Fero): Or a dragon body.
Austin (as Rosana): I don’t think that’s on the- in the cards. [Ali laughs]
Janine: Didn’t you hear me? I said that thing was hard to climb. I wrote it in the chat. [everyone laughs extremely hard, Ali claps] I said that I’d have a good time.
Ali: Good, I’m glad.
Austin: [groans] Ali, thank you for clapping. [Ali and Janine laugh]
Ali: I’m glad.
Austin: [laughing] Yeah. Sorry. Just imagining- uh, I [laughs] was just imagining Victoria Solomon raising her eyebrows and crossing her arms like, ‘Hm. Ok. [Ali laughs] Oh, it’s like that. Ok.’
Ali: Um, [exhales]
Ali (as Hella): It’s better than the alternative, I guess. Um, I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to be ok with it.
Austin: Alright.
Art (as Hadrian): I mean, I don’t want to- I don’t want to undermine my own plan; the thing we’ve talked about together. We could talk to smarter people about this.
Ali (as Hella): Yeah.
Austin: Rosana crosses her arms, and she goes,
Austin (as Rosana): Smarter people, huh?
Art (as Hadrian): Smarter people than… than- Not than you. [Austin and Keith laugh hard] Than- than us.
Art: Gestures to Hella and I.
Keith: Yeah, find some more people as smart as you. [Austin amusedly groans]
Janine (as Adaire): So, wait the- the pala-din body thing, that wasn’t Adelaide’s plan. That was like, just one you figured out?
Art (as Hadrian): Well, I was at the- I was at the place with the pala-din at the time, and it felt like a very available solution because time was short and I wasn’t here.
Ali (as Hella): Adelaide said that I either need someone to sacrifice themselves in my place, or I need a new body. And a pala-din one seems um… like a good one.
Janine (as Adaire): But we do also have a plan ‘B’.
Austin: Room is very quiet. Yeah.
Keith (as Fero): What’s the plan ‘B’? Sorry, what’s the plan “B’?
Janine (as Adaire): The plan ‘B’ is convince someone to die for Hella.
Keith (as Fero): Oh. Oh, ok.
Austin (as Red Jack): Oh, is that all?
Austin: Says Red Jack.
Keith: I put my finger on my nose. [Janine laughs]
Austin: [Austin and Ali laugh] Yeah, great.
Janine (as Adaire): I didn’t say it was a good plan, but it’s a plan ‘B’. I’m not gonna throw out a plan ‘B’ just cause it’s-
Austin (as Red Jack): Of course.
Janine (as Adaire): Very hard.
Art (as Hadrian): I mean, I guess in that way, plan ‘C’ is I told Adelaide that if no other solutions presented themselves that I would do it.
Ali (as Hella): That’s plan ‘Z’.
Dre (as Throndir): Yeah.
Art (as Hadrian): We don’t have- we don’t have twenty-six plans.
Dre (as Throndir): Yeah, but I’ll be plan ‘B’.
Janine (as Adaire): No- uh-
Ali (as Hella): That was-
Austin (as Red Jack): No.
Austin: Says Red Jack.
Keith: I really expected everyone to reach for their noses.
Ali (as Hella): We’re just gonna- Listen, we’ll just go to Marielda. We’ll see if this works, and if it doesn’t- if it ends there, it makes sense. It’s fine. We’ll figure it out. We still have to talk to Samot. Maybe he has an idea.
Austin (as Chatterchin): Is there really no-
Austin: This is Chatterchin- [changing voice] ‘Is there-’ [changes again] ‘Is there-’ I was doing Isaac Addleton for a second. [several people laugh] Which is- who is not here.
Dre: And like, Gilbert Gottfried?
Austin: [imitating Gilbert Gottfried] And Gilbert Gottfried. Uh, [laughs] who is here now. What’s Chatterchin? He does like a- he does like a- like a, a little laugh and like, ok yeah.
Keith: I think you should spend some more time doing… Gottfried.
Austin: Some Gottfried. Yeah, no.
Austin (as Chatterchin): [breathes] I- I- I think I’m [exhales] a little- [exhales] Do we not have a [exhales] any way to cure the Heat and the Dark yet? [exhales] How- how- [exhales] It’s been with us a long time. Nothing.
Keith: I don’t know if Chatterchin is this breathy.
Austin: He’s laughing, but it’s coming over as breathy cause we’re on an app.
Sylvia (as Ephrim): Yeah, I thought Uklan was getting close with something, but clearly…
Jack (as Lem): Uklan was fucking getting close with-
Austin (as Chatterchin): Yeah. yeah.
Jack (as Lem): -with the cult.
Sylvia (as Ephrim): Yeah. Clearly-
Jack (as Lem): Anytime that he spent where he could have been working on this, he was- he was… he was working on something else.
Keith (as Fero): What was he doing for the cult exactly?
Jack (as Lem): He was giving them the- the jelly.
Ali (as Hella): Yeah, he was making goop-
Keith (as Fero): He was giving them the jelly?
Ali (as Hella): Yeah. He made a goop to put on a dragon to turn it into a real dragon. And now that real dragon is fucking everything up.
Austin (as Sunder): Not to- not change the subject,
Austin: Says Sunder,
Austin (as Sunder): But speaking of that, actually, Ephrim, is the- has the gel been holding up for you?
Sylvia (as Ephrim): Uh, [sighs] it was for some time.
Austin (as Sunder): Oh no. Is it not- the efficacy can’t be counted on?
Sylvia (as Ephrim): It’s… I had to…
Sylvia: This is Ephrim very like, owning up very awkwardly to what he did with the fire earlier.
Sylvia (as Ephrim): I had to use the Heat and the Dark when we fought with Arrell, and it undid a lot of the good. But I don’t- We can try with Hella and see if it helps her in any way. It might not have- I don’t think she’s gonna have the same issue. [overlapped] These look bad.
Austin (as Victoria): Her wounds aren’t physical.
Austin: Says Victoria.
Sylvia: Oh.
Austin (as Victoria): At least I don’t see any.
Sylvia: Out of character, I must have misinterpreted the heart gem thing. [Ali laughs] I thought it was like a- Yeah.
Austin: It’s fine. It’s good. Uh huh. [laughs]
Keith: Wait, heart- It’s heart jam.
Austin: It’s not.
Ali: It’s heart, but a gem.
Keith: Is it not jam?
Austin: It’s not jam.
Ali: Gem. G-E-M.
Keith: Is it not a different- cause it’s not- G-E-M.
Austin: Oh my god.
Ali: Yeah. It’s a heart gem.
Keith: But it was- I thought it had to do with the goop.
Austin: No. Well-
Ali: No.
Austin: -not this part, no.
Keith: So, you need some heart jam for your heart gem.
Ali: You can replace the gem with the goop I think is what’s on the table right now. But-
Austin: I’m saying you probably cannot.
Ali: Right.
Austin: Victoria is saying probably not.
Ali: Right. Um…
[crosstalking]
Austin: You would need some sort of-
Ali: And we need the- [light laugh]
Austin: -soul version. Like ghost jam.
Ali: Ooo.
Keith: Mm, now that’s a gimmick.
Austin: That’s a gimmick I can get behind. [laughs] Did you ever eat a ghost jam before?
Keith: Super spicy.
Austin: Yeah, it’s su- [laughs] Yeah, uh huh.
Keith: [laughs] Spiciest jam in the world. The ghost jam.
Austin (as Corsica): [exhales] So, dragon, Ordenna, Hella’s body… Is there anything else?
Keith (as Fero): No. I’m- I mean I’m- Let’s-
Austin: Uh, Dr. Gloria Lake says,
Austin (as Gloria): Uh, mm. I have um, noticed an uptick of people not only going south to the City of First Light, but also east to the stars, And I don’t know yet what’s going on there, so I just thought um, maybe it’s not a priority right now. Dragon, Ordenna, Hella’s body. But I would love to know what’s going on there also because I- is it good?
Keith (as Fero): Sorry, which place was that?
Austin (as Gloria): The- the stars. The star citadel to the east. The Shredded Steppe.
Keith (as Fero): Oh yeah. I really wanted to go there. But there’s just so much other- there’s so much other stuff.
Austin (as Gloria): Yeah. There’s so much- Yeah, I know. I know.
Ali (as Hella): [quietly] So much. [Keith groans]
Austin (as Gloria): Yeah, um, just puttin’ out on the table. Just cause- and also Samot and Severa. Whatever they’re doing. And I guess Galenica’s around, too, from what I hear. So, um, just there’s a lot.
Keith (as Fero): Can we replace your black gem with a star gem?
Ali (as Hella): That’d be great.
Keith (as Fero): Is that something?
Austin (as Gloria): Maybe that’s something.
Keith (as Fero): Just spitballing. Is that something? [Austin false starts] Shredded Steppe star gem.
Austin (as Gloria): We could look into it. I don’t know.
Sylvia: Do we know if that’s had- if incorporating the stars into him has had any effect on Samot that we might want to avoid that could happen to Hella?
Austin: Uh, it’s made him have sick star powers.
Ali: I’ll take that please.
Austin: And cool eyes. [Keith laughs]
Sylvia: Ok. Well-
Dre: [intrigued] Ohhh.
Ali: That one please.
Austin: Uh huh. But I don’t- But that’s again a physical healing. I mean he did have-
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: Ordennan steel in him which is like adjacent to Heat and Dark obviously. But this is not the same wound. But maybe there is some way to do it. Like, there could be. You’d have to- You’d have to spend some time studying it.
Keith: We’d have to figure it out.
Austin: Yes.
Jack: I would-
Austin: But that’s- I’m not gonna turn- I’m not gonna close the book there and say there’s nothing there for you.
Keith: Well, let’s go do the dragon thing right now. I’ll pack. [Austin exhales a small laugh] I mean I guess I’m still packed probably. Yeah, I’m still packed. [Ali laughs]
Jack (as Lem): I have a- I have a question, Hella.
Ali (as Hella): Uh hm?
Jack (as Lem): Can’t Adelaide- Doesn’t- Can’t Adelaide just say that you won’t die?
Ali (as Hella): It’s- it’s not that easy. I can’t even- because it’s the Heat and the Dark I can’t even like, just stay there. Or else that’ll get consumed by it, too.
Jack (as Lem): It would des- it would destroy her place?
Ali (as Hella): Yeah.
Art (as Hadrian): It’s honestly weird being there.
Jack (as Lem): What’s it- what’s it like Hadrian?
Art (as Hadrian): Just specifically the Heat and the Dark part?
Jack (as Lem): Adularia.
Jack: I don’t actually even know if Lem’s knows that it’s called Adularia-
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: Would we know this? Like-
Austin: Hella just used that term before offhandedly.
Jack: Oh, yeah. Ok. Sure.
Ali: Yeah.
Jack (as Lem): Like, I think Lem would continue to call it like, Adelaide’s place.
Ali (as Hella): Well, Lem you went there that one time.
Jack (as Lem): Did I go there?
Austin: Yes.
Ali (as Hella): You like, were in a bubble version of it.
Austin: Yeah, when the corpse sword happened.
Ali: Yeah.
Jack: Oh, that was there?
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: [laughing] Ok.
Ali: It was like, both places, but you were there.
Jack: Oh.
Ali: Also, I’m supposed to be like, campaigning.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Everybody should know about it. [laughs]
Austin: I mean that’s a question, too is like, have you been doing that?
Jack: Like, have you been campaigning to your friends? Is this like, trying to sell tupperware to your…? [Austin and Ali laugh] Like, is Hella like, ‘and now, let me spread the good word.’
Keith: Just handing out a little card that says, ‘Don’t embrace nothingness: Adularia!’ [Jack and Austin laugh]
Ali: Yeah, I mean it’s probably an easy sell to the PCs.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: I mean I would hope so. I don’t know. Maybe I don’t know. But I feel like- [inaudible]
[crosstalking]
Jack: I think Lem-
Austin: Uh, you know Hadrian’s seen it now, right? So, Hadrian’s like, ‘yeah it’s a place.’
Jack: I think Lem thinks of it as like, Hella’s weird thing.
Austin: I just love actually Hadrian in like, a testimonial ad for Adularia. [Austin and Ali laugh]
Jack: [imitating the fake ad] ‘I’ve been to Adularia, and let me tell you, my son’s there.’
Art: [imitating the fake ad] ‘I thought it wasn’t a place, and then it was a place. Also, there’s a weird like, pool of Heat and the Dark there. It’s awkward.’
Jack: Aw, geez. Ok. Ok.
Jack (as Lem): So- so we can’t just kind of hope that Adelaide will like, come through at the last moment?
Ali (as Hella): Her… her coming through was making a deal with Hadrian.
Jack (as Lem): Ok. Ok. Well, thanks Adelaide. [Austin laughs lightly]
Ali (as Hella): We’ve explored the options. Trust me.
Jack (as Lem): I’m sorry. I’m sorry I destroyed your city. [Austin and Ali laugh lightly]
Ali (as Hella): Oh, it’s water under the bridge. [Austin exhales two small laughs]
Austin: How different this game would be if not for Nacre. [Ali and Jack laugh] God, is that it? That might be it. So, Corsica I think says it,
Austin (as Corsica): I need to know what everyone’s doing. Do I need to raise an army? Are we going to the City of First Light to fight Ordenna? Are we- Am I putting together a campaign to fight a dragon? What is happening? Are we-
Keith (as Fero): Dragon! The dragon thing, right? Like right away, right?
Austin (as Corsica): Seems important.
Keith (as Fero): I don’t know if we need to do a campaign. We could just like, go kick its ass, right?
Ali (as Hella): We have to find it, and it’s kinda… gonna be hard.
Keith (as Fero): It’s big, and it’s got lightning around it.
Art (as Hadrian): It killed Hella.
Ali (as Hella): No.
Art (as Hadrian): The least killable one of us.
Janine (as Adaire): Even when it was just bones, it basically killed Hella.
Austin: [laughs] Fuck.
Ali (as Hella): I’ve had a bad week. [Dre laughs]
Jack (as Lem): It’s- I think it’s fair to say that it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever fought-
Keith (as Fero): How did the- how did the least killable one die and the most killable one didn’t?
Art (as Hadrian): Who’s the most killable?
Ali (as Hella): Wait, who’s most?
Sylvia (as Ephrim): Lem.
Keith (as Fero): It’s Lem. [Austin laughs] We all know it’s Lem.
Sylvia (as Ephrim): Yeah.
Austin (as Red Jack): It’s Lem. [everyone laughs]
Jack (as Lem): Uh, well… Uh, about that. I was…
Ali (as Hella): Asleep.
Jack (as Lem): Researching.
Keith (as Fero): Researching how to kill the dragon?
Jack (as Lem): Researching how to kill the Solarch.
Keith (as Fero): Ok. I guess they’re a pair, right?
Austin (as Gloria): The Solarch is dead though. Did you learn how to- Is that how they beat him?
Jack (as Lem): No.
Keith (as Fero): So, you must have done a good- [hearing Lem’s answer] Oh.
Jack (as Lem): No. Um… I learned a lot of history. [everyone laughs]
Keith (as Fero): Aright. Uh, bye.
Austin: Ohhh [everyone still laughing extremely hard]
Keith: Can I- [laughing continues] can I say something? ‘Lem King is as clueless now as he was when I last saw him.’ [more laughing and someone claps]
Austin: Oh, is that your bond with Lem King?
Keith: That’s my bond with Lem.
Austin: You want to- Let’s go through bonds real quick before we wrap this meeting up. What’s uh- what- what are the rest of your bonds, Fero Feritas?
Keith: Sure, so I’ve got a new alignment. I’m ‘Good.’ I’m ‘Good’ for the first time.
Austin: Oh, you’re good!
Keith: I’m ‘Good’ for the first time.
Austin: Wow.
Keith: ‘Everyone is trying to carve out a space for themselves in this new world. Take XP when the space you carve accounts for others’-
Austin: Hmm. Uh hm.
Keith: -is my bond. Er- is my alignment. With Ephrim, ‘Lord Ephrim thinks helping means being in charge.’
Austin: Uh huh.
Keith: Lem, ‘Lem King is as clueless now as he was when I last saw him.’ Hella, ‘Hella is trying to be a friend, maybe she can also be an ally.’ Hadrian, ‘Hadrian’s commitment to those close to him is admirable. What is different about us?’
Austin: [laughs] Ok. Wow.
Ali: I haven’t been an ally this whole time? What are you t- [laughs]
Keith: Remember I was mad at everybody?
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: And so you were being friendly and trying to include me-
Austin: Right.
Keith: -but also we were still disagreeing about what to do.
Austin: Yeah, that’s true. [Ali laughs]
Keith: That’s what that was from.
Ali: Ok.
Austin: Uh, Lord Ephrim, how about you?
Sylvia: Alright. Um, could we actually- I’m actually like, just finishing one.
Austin: You want to come last? Yeah, it’s fine.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: Let’s go up to Hadrian then in my list.
Art: Hey, um where- uh where'd I put that? Um-
Austin: Your character sheet.
Art: Yeah. Uh, just the new ones or all of ‘em?
Austin: Give me ‘em all.
Art: Alright. This Hella one maybe should shift, but we’ll get to that. ‘I trust Hella to carry me through troubled times. I don’t trust her sense of direction.’
Austin: Probably should shift.
Art: Yeah. Uh, ‘Fero is a frivolous sort, but not unkind. I should teach him to be serious. Maybe he can teach me the opposite.’
Austin: Aww. Wow. Fero and Hadrian are friends. It’s- wow, it’s good.
Keith: Those line up really well. They lined up well last time, too.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: ‘Throndir needs to figure out where he stands. He needs to do it far away from me.’ [Austin laughs] ‘Adaire is a trusted friend, but I need her to look less in the shadows and more toward the skies. Also, maybe she could be less rude. Some people are just trying to help.’ [everyone laughs]
Austin: Uhhh, for the record, your alignment is still the same, but…
Art: It’s still ‘Good. Suffer or endure hardship so that someone else does not have to.’
Austin: Maybe your suffering Adaire’s rudeness for that others may not.
Jack: [laughs] So that others- No, other- I think others still have to.
Austin: Mm, right. True. Uh, Throndir and Kodiak, can I get your alignment and your bonds?
Dre: Uh, my alignment is still ‘Good. Put yourself at risk to help improve someone else’s life.’ My bonds- ‘At this point, Ephrim might be the only person I can still salvage my friendship with. I have to rebuild our trust and make up for my betrayal.’
Austin: Uh hm.
Dre: Fero, ‘We are running out of options. It’s time to put grudges and pettiness aside and stand with Fero against the end of the world.’ Hadrian, ‘The best way I can help Hadrian is to stay away from him and his family. I only make things worse for them.’
Austin: [light laugh] Fuck.
Jack: Jesus.
Dre: And Hella, ‘I wanted to be important and to change the world for the better. Hella was always more capable of that than me, even when she didn’t want to. I’m prepared to do anything to bring her back.’
Austin: Wow. Damn. This is fuckin’ emo time with Throndir and Kodiak. [Ali laughs] I’m with you.
Dre: Yep.
Austin: Hella Varal, Death’s Servant.
Keith: [quietly in the background] Sad dog bark.
Ali: Ah, yes. My alignment is still ‘Neutral. Increase your reputation while working to fulfill Death’s task to you which is help the dead or the dying pass on to Adularia.’ My bond with Hadrian is ‘I believe Hadrian and I are capable of anything, and I don’t fear my life in his hands. However, I won’t let him take his life for mine.’
Austin: Hm.
Ali: Um, Throndir is, ‘Throndir is too important to make stupid risky decisions. Since I’ve made enough of my own, I’ll make an effort to reach out to him.’ And then Adaire is- maybe needs to be workshopped cause the ball is definitely in Adaire’s court, but-
Austin: Uh huh.
Ali: ‘Adaire, if I’m in the last- [laughs] If I’m in the last hours of my life, I cannot close the distance Adaire’s kept between us, but I do want her to know how much she’s meant to me.’
Austin: Aww. These are all very good. [Ali laughs] Uh, so you have three right now. Ok.
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: And Adaire?
Janine: Uh, my alignment is still ‘Chaotic. There’s a line between self interest and selfishness. Some people just need my help finding it. Intervene when someone’s making life worth- worse for other survivors.’ My bonds really need some workshopping. So, Hadrian and Lem, especially. But Hadrian, ‘Hadrian is not an immovable rock. Do not use him as a foothold.’ I need to do something there.
Austin: Uh hm.
Janine: Lem, ‘Lem is a river in need of a dam. Give him shape and guidance.’ Also really need something more active and doable at this point there. Um, Ephrim, ‘Ephrim carries a heavy load and bears it better than most. I don’t need to help him with that load, but I won’t add to it either.’
Austin: Mm.
Janine: And Hella is the bond I just changed. [Austin laughs] ‘Hella has seen me at my best and at my worst. I will not let her doubt my devotion.’
Ali: Aww.
Austin: Ok. And back around to Ephrim.
Sylvia: Ok. Um, [clears throat] I need to like, fix the wording on this first one, but my bonds are- These are all new.
Austin: Uh hm.
Sylvia: With Hella it’s, ‘Hella and I are both in danger of being consumed by the Dark. I should work with her for both of our survival.’ I think I need to make that a little more direct, but-
Austin: Yeah.
Sylvia: -generally speaking-
Austin: Yeah, that’s good.
Sylvia: -that one’s ok. Uh, ‘Throndir has been a steady companion, but some- but lately something’s been off. I should ask less of him.’ Fero-
Austin: I mean you know explicitly what happened, right at this point, Ephrim?
Sylvia: Uh, did he tell me?
Art: I think-
Austin: I think you in-
Art: It was part of los- it was part of a seven to nine, wasn’t it?
Austin: Yeah-
Sylvia: Right.
Austin: -it was part of a seven to nine that you learned what the fuck was up.
Sylvia: Right.
Austin: Yeah.
Sylvia: Yeah. Ok, I’ll change the wording on that.
Austin: Yeah.
Sylvia: But it’s still the general thing is- ‘I’m gonna ask less of him.’
Keith: Wait, learned what was up with what? Oh, with the- with the vampire stuff.
Austin: Yeah.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Keith: Got it.
Austin: And specifically that- that Throndir had fed on Ephrim.
Keith: Right, yeah.
Austin: Which reopened the wound.
Sylvia: Um… my bond for Fero is ‘Fero’s talents shouldn’t be ignored. I should at least try to get along with him.’ And then Adaire is ‘Adaire has shown a commitment to the university I didn’t expect. I should put some more trust in her.’
Austin: And then your alignment?
Sylvia: My alignment is still the same. ‘Neutral. Increase the prestige of yourself or your stronghold.’ Though I’m… eyeing that for a change, too maybe.
Austin: Yeah, we’re gettin’ there. We are- we are so close to-
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: Final bonds and alignments, you know? Not there yet, but we’re gettin’ there. Um-
Art: Did we do Lem? Did we- did Lem-?
Jack: [quietly] No.
Austin: Oh, did we skip Lem somehow? I’m sorry Lem.
Jack: [softly] Yes.
Austin: My bad. [Ali and Keith laugh]
Jack: Uh-
Austin: Sorry~ [laughs] That’s your punishment for having learned history. [Keith laughs]
Jack: [laughing] For having- Uh, I’m ‘Neutral’. I have to ‘avoid conflict or diffuse a tense situation.’
Austin: Uh huh.
Jack: And like, I’m not sure whether or not- cause I think I can fire all three of my bonds given this war table.
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: But I need to know whether or not to either play as though they’re about to be resolved or resolve them right now and work on thinking what the next ones are.
Austin: I’m good with whatever. You can only res- You can change as many as you want, but you can only resolve and get XP for one of them. And that’s supposed to be-
Jack: Oh, one per time?
Austin: Yeah, it’s supposed to be the end of the session.
Jack: I can’t be like-
Austin: You can- you can change them all. You can be like, ‘eh, these don’t fit anymore.’ But per session, you can resolve one and take XP for it.
Jack: OK. Ok. Ok. Cool. So, I have ‘Aubade changed Hella. I will look to her to find the ways that it changed me.’
Austin: Uh hm.
Jack: And I want to resolve that in the sense that like, Lem has realized that with Hella’s- The way in which it has changed Lem is that he doesn’t want Hella to die.
Austin: Mmm.
Jack: And is very actively going to seek out ways to prevent that from being the case.
Austin: Ok, cool. So, take an XP for that which- which you just won’t do that at the end of the session like, normal.
Jack: Sure, ok.
Austin: This will be that.
Janine: I’m realizing I should have also done that properly instead of just doing it.
Austin: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jack: Obviously all of these need- need punching up, as Janine put it. Um, ‘Fero is part of what we have made, whether he likes it or not. I will not let him turn away.’ Lem is secretly like, super stoked about the fact that Fero showed up-
Austin: yeah.
Jack: -and was just like, ‘I want to go kill a dragon.’ Um, which is a real- That’s very different to like, ‘I live outside in a tent.’
Austin: Uh huh.
Jack: ’And I don’t know what y’all are doing.’ Um, Lem also doesn’t know that Fero has become ‘Good’.
Austin: Right.
Jack: But I think if he did, [laughing] he’d be like-
Austin: You spend some time, you know-
Jack: Hell yeah.
Austin: -with each other, it would come through.
Jack: Yeah, and I think that’s what I mean about like, working towards-
Austin: Yeah. Yeah.
Jack: -addressing these. And I have Ephrim, ‘I draw strength from the fact that Ephrim has built something.’ And I think that’s like, this growing sense of like, I spent a lot of the last two episodes trying to defend a place-
Austin: Right.
Jack: -from an external threat. And there’s nothing like defending a pl- recognizing that a pl- the way- recognizing the ways in which a place is worth defending that makes you think of the- the methods by which it was built.
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: And so I think those just need some slight alterations to address the fact that like, Lem is no longer like, in process of those bonds.
Austin: Sure.
Jack: And is reaching like, slightly different places with them.
Austin: Yeah, I think the Fero one specifically is a good one to maybe carry into the next arc, if you are in the same place with him.
Jack: Uh hm.
Austin: Because resolution does not need to be, ‘and we had a big conversation about it.’
Jack: No. No.
Austin: It can be ‘wow, he acted in a way that I didn’t know. I’m resolving this bond, and we’re gonna write a new one.’ You know what I mean? Like, it doesn’t have to be the center point in that way. So, yeah. Good.
Jack: Yeah, absolutely.
Austin: Alright. Those are bonds. Is there anything else that we need in this war table scene? Let me look at my notes to make sure I’m not skipping anything. No. I think I’m good. I think we got kind of all the big stuff. And I- I’m just gonna repeat them right now for everyone listening and everyone at the table in terms of like, what are the stakes at the table. I know I’ve done it once already, but I just want to be super clear.
Keith: Steaks at the Table. Alternate name for our restaurant.
Ali: Ooo.
Austin: Oo, hell yeah. I could use a stea- I can’t ‘cause I have a toothache.
Art: We just got classed up.
Austin: We did. We got a steakhouse now. If the dragon lives through another arc, things are gonna get super bad for most of Hieron. For basically the far north, the northwest, like, everything that isn’t the Shredded Steppe or Alcyon or like, the jungles that the Spring have totally taken over. Immediately it’s gonna get bad for everything. It’s already bad for Velas. It’s already bad for the northwest. Um, but like, no one can resist the Advocate en masse. Like, y’all are heros. Maybe you can go fight it. If you don’t or if someone doesn’t kill it, it will do serious harm to so much of Hieron that there will be like, the sort of harm that is you know, um- you can’t turn back the clock on it.
Art: Ok.
Austin: There’s a word I’m looking for.
Art: Um-
Austin: Uh huh.
Art: I don’t want to like, really like, damage that- that moment that we just had because that was like- putting those stakes into context like that was great, but if-
Austin: Still the first stake. There’s still more, but continue. [Ali laughs]
Art: But if anyone has drawn this dragon with the head or face of The Advocate Paul Hayman-
Austin: Ok.
Art: -you @ me on Twitter with that drawing. [Sylvia laughs hard] [Jack, Keith, and Austin laugh] You make sure I see it.
Austin: Oh, we should have left the Solarch alive [laughing] so that the dragon could say, ‘My client!’
Sylvia: Could I- could I get tagged on that one, too.
Austin: Yeah, of course. Yeah, definitely. [Ali laughs]
Sylvia: Thanks.
Keith: This is- I don’t get- I don’t- I don’t know exactly what this is about-
Austin: [overlapped] Uh, don’t worry about it. It’s a wrestling-
Keith: -but I do think it’s funny.
Austin: It’s- yeah. If you knew Paul Hayman, you would love Paul Hayman’s character, Keith.
Keith: I’m- I can tell that it’s really good.
Austin: He’s- he’s had his moments. He isn’t- you know, not- Anyway. Uh, two, if Ordenna continues to go unchecked, whatever is left of the world, whether that is near term or short- or long term, will be colonized and taken over by an imperial force that is militaristic, that has no problem conscripting people into service, that is- that does not understand or have interest in understanding anything. Um, Hella, do you remember what your very first- er not your very first, but your- your evil alignment was in season one- the second half of season one?
Ali: Um, yeah. It was to destroy something rather than understand it.
Austin: And that is Ordenna like, to a ‘T’.
Ali: Uh hm.
Austin: Is to destroy something rather than understand it. And let me tell you, there is a lot of things that Ordenna does not understand right now. There are a lot of things that they don’t get. And so, they are very interested in continuing to destroy. And you can imagine what building society is around destroying something rather than understanding it because it is the society we live in today. [light laugh] And they would- they would continue to push for that. Third stake, um, the resources here still aren’t great, and people are leaving here because of it. It’s not as bad as it would be if you hadn’t secured that food, but it is still a concern. People are- are going to the east, to the Shredded Steppe to where the star citadel is. They’re going south to the City of First Light.
This also includes the people from Velas who are leaving because the star shields are not able to stand up to the Advocate’s attacks. Hella needs a body. And she, like the Advocate, that needs to be dealt with in the next arc. Or someone needs to commit to sacrificing themselves in you know- for her. Um, Samot question mark, question mark, question mark. The stars question mark, question mark, question mark, question mark. That’s what I have written here. So. Those are- that’s everything on the table. It sounds like dragon is a sure thing. It sounds like Hella’s body is a sure thing? Or is there another- or do we want to spend the rest of this game looking into it? Maybe that’s the play.
Ali: I- yeah.
Janine: Hella’s body slash Ordenna because of City of First Light.
Ali: Right.
Austin: It could be City of First Light. It can be Mark of Erasure. It sounds like there’s maybe a chance to do something with the stars. I don’t want to make that decision for y’all.
Keith: We’re do- we’re doing downtime, so like, I was kind of-
Austin: Yeah, we got plenty of time right now.
Keith: Yeah, uh, but I was- I was kind of being facetious in the ‘let’s go get the dragon right now.’ I assume we can’t do that cause we’re doing- it’s a downtime episode. Um-
Austin: I would- If you- if y’all were like, ‘let’s do the rest of the session and go hunt a dragon together,’ [Ali laughs] I would not say no to that. Do you know what I mean? But I- but I-
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: You know. I am- I’m just a humble GM. A humble country game master. [Dre laughs] Like, for real, for real. So- so, but I- but I don’t want to take away a downtime that people have been looking forward to. Do you know what I mean? That’s what-
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: I could be that GM. I could be like, ‘No, if you don’t fuckin’ deal with the Advocate right now.’
Keith: Right.
Austin: But also- but also, here’s what I will say. If you did decide as a group, like, ‘actually let’s just all seven of us roll up on that dragon right now’ I would- that would be something I would have to reward. Which is to say, there would be negative things that the dragon will be doing that you would be able to stop if you acted with this sort of speed.
Keith: Yeah. And you know, who knows? Maybe we can do the second half of a downtime after we kill that dragon next time we record.
Ali: How-
Austin: Right. You’re just like- ‘oh, then we do a party.’
Keith: Two halves of a downtime. [Ali laughs] Yeah.
Ali: How far is-?
Art: If anything, it’s fun- it’s getting all seven of us- eight of us together.
Austin: That’s a good question. There is a good question which is where is the dragon, right?
Keith: Near Velas, right? That the- that’s the direction where that thing is.
Austin: Uh, the northwest. Yeah.
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: I don’t know- Did we- did I give a very specific thing? Let me- let me take a peek at the transcript.
Keith: You said that there was the thunder-
Austin: I did do that.
Keith: -and then you said that the dragon was causing the thunder.
Austin: Oh, I meant in the last-
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: I meant in the last- Cause I know where the dragon is. I know where the dragon is staying. I’m trying to think if there’s any for other people to just know. Um, let’s see.
Keith: I’m looking through stuff. I should stop clicking stuff.
Ali: Can we look at the world map, by the way?
Austin: Are you not there now? You’re back at the thing? I’m sorry.
Keith: Yeah. We’ve-
Austin: I’ve been looking at the world map this whole time. I’m sorry.
Keith: Oh, we’ve- we’ve been there that whole time.
Austin: Um, yeah. My bad.
Keith: Look at that big ass moon. That’s dope.
Austin: It’s a cool moon, right?
Keith: I’m so glad that we went there and didn’t do anything. [Austin laughs]
Keith (cont.): That was- Honestly I think one of the coolest things I’ve ever done in a role-playing game was go to a place with a mission, not do anything, [Ali laughs] just watch. Hella killed a cop, I guess. That’s something.
Austin: That did happen. That did happen.
Keith: But it was mostly [laughs] by accident.
Austin: Uh huh.
Ali: We did steal a book. Yeah, we were book thieves.
Austin: I can tell you where- I- [exhales] This is one of those things that’s like, you spend a day- you- We can spend a day here, basically. At the end of tomorrow, scouts can arrive. Or like, if this is a thing you’re genuinely interested in, there could be a knock at the door. Corsica’s scouts could be like, ‘we know where the dragon is.’
Keith: I mean-
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: Can we take, like, a temperature check on this?
Austin: Let me just do this. There’s a knock on the door, and Corsica has scouts who come in. Or like, [foley] ‘bah-bah-bah-bah-bah Whisper, whisper, whisper. And she’s like,
Austin (as Corsica): Alright-
[crosstalking]
Keith: This sounds like someone’s knocking and whispering.
Jack: It’s like the sound of people like, pushing their chairs back.
Austin: Oh, what was his name? What was the-? We have a Corsica lieutenant. What was his name? It was very funny. Remember? We always got it wrong.
Sylvia: I remember that she always forgot it. [laughs]
Ali: Ohhhh, oh my god. Yeah. Oh… fuck.
Sylvia: Uh hm.
Austin: Is she-
Ali: Was it with an ‘f’?
Keith: Was it with a ‘p’?
Austin: It was- it was- his name is Fentil. She would call him Lentil.
Ali: Fentil.
Austin: She would call him Lentil.
Ali: I was gonna say- [laughs]
Austin: Like the bean.
Keith: I thought I was calling him Lentil.
Ali: I was gonna say F- [inaudible]
Austin: Lots of people were calling him Lentil.
Keith: OK. Alright, great. As long- yeah.
Austin: Um, Fentil-
Keith: That’s fun for everyone but Lentil.
Austin: Fentil Orenia shows up who is- who is a tall halfling, about the same height as you, Fero. He a decade ago had- had a bowl cut which was bad. He now has a ponytail. It is also- doesn’t work for him. It’s not- I’m not anti-ponytail. [Sylvia laughs] It’s just not doing it for him. He has big, round glasses and he comes in-
Keith: How do those work for him?
Austin: Those work. He-
Keith: OK.
Austin: That he pulls off. Uh, and he comes and whisper, whisper, whisper.
Austin (as Fentil): Hey everybody. It’s me, Fentil. If you remember me from like a decade ago?
[crosstalking]
Jack (as Lem): Hi.
Sylvia (as Ephrim): Yes. Hello, Fentil.
Keith (as Fero): Yeah. Hey, Lentil.
Jack (as Lem): We’re kind of in the middle of something. Um-
Austin (as Fentil): Yeah, we’ve- Um, whisper- I- I whispered already-
Austin: Corsica’s like,
Austin (as Corsica): Fentil, why would you whisper if you’re gonna-
Austin (as Fentil): The dragon um, they tracked it to-
Austin (as Corsica): Gentil, can you-? [exhales]
Austin (as Fentil): I just want to say cause I haven’t seen anybody in a while.
Art: I don’t if- think I’ve ever seen this person before.
Austin (as Fentil): He’s- Uh, the dragon. The big dragon. Uh, we saw him flying- I didn’t see him. I wasn’t there. But I heard from a messenger who came back from the northwest-
Jack (as Lem): Can we just skip to where the dragon is?
Austin (as Fentil): The Advocate, you mean. The dragon.
Jack (as Lem): Yeah, where is he?
Austin (as Fentil): Uh, to the northwest is where we sent scouts. And they followed him, um for a while. They- He was in Velas. We-
Jack (as Lem): Ok.
Austin (as Fentil): He burned a lot of Velas.
Jack (as Lem): Ok.
Austin (as Fentil): But he’s not there anymore though.
Ali (as Hella): Where?
Jack (as Lem): What’s your name?
Austin (as Fentil): My name is Fentil.
Jack (as Lem): Where?
Keith (as Fero): We’re doing this fun thing, Fentil, where we start at the end of a story and go backwards. Can you do that?
Jack (as Lem): Don’t help him.
Austin (as Fentil): Yes. Uh, so I came in here to tell you where the dragon was. [Keith, Sylvia, and Jack laugh] And before that, I had a soup because I was tired from-
[crosstalking]
Ali (as Hella): Oh my god.
Janine (as Adaire): I have knives that are very, very frightening-
Jack (as Lem): Where?
Keith (as Fero): That’s not part of this story.
Janine (as Adaire): -when they land near you. Could you really just speed this up?
Austin (as Fentil): Do you think those work on a dragon?
Janine (as Adaire): Um...
Ali (as Hella): Yeah, can you tell us where the dragon is?
Austin (as Fentil): The Mark of the Erasure, we think.
Ali (as Hella): Oh.
Keith (as Fero): Oh, that’s two birds with one stone.
Austin (as Fentil): We think the Mark of the Erasure.
Keith (as Fero): We think two birds with one stone then.
Austin (as Fentil): We think- Wait. Two birds with one- What’s the other bird?
Keith (as Fero): We’ve got another thing-
Austin (as Fentil): It’s a dragon? Is it two dragons? Is there another dragon at the Mark?
Keith (as Fero): We’ve been calling the dragon bird, and that’s all you need to know.
Jack (as Lem): Thank you, Fenton.
Keith (as Fero): Thank you, Fenton.
Austin (as Fentil): It’s- [light laugh]
Sylvia (as Ephrim): Bye, Grendel.
Austin (as Fentil): It’s- [Keith laughs] Bye everybody.
Ali (as Hella): Nice meeting you.
Austin: God, I should have been using a Fenton Mulley voice this whole time. [Keith and Jack laugh as Janine groans] I should not have.
Jack: Bren-Bren
Austin: I like him too much. [imitating Fenton Mulley] ‘Hey, Bren-Bren!’ Uh, alright. He’s leaving. Everyone should watch Home Movies. Um-
Art: Oh, is it ‘Hey, Lem-Lem’? [Austin and Sylvia laugh]
Janine: I was just- I was thinking the exact same thing. It’s gotta be ‘Hey, Lem-Lem.’
Austin: Oh, it’s really good. [imitating Fenton Mulley] ‘Hey, Lem-Lem!’ God, we should use more Fentil.
Jack: A complete pick up on this entire scene. [Ali laughs]
Austin: [laughing] In which-
Jack: Where we just replace him.
Austin: It’s tough to do. So, yeah. So, uh, the Advocate is- the Advocate, I- you know, who could say why, is back at the Mark of the Erasure. At Samot’s fallen tower. Is making it’s roost there. So, yeah. One of the places a body might be able to be made. [Jack exhales and laughs]
Keith: I’m fuckin’ ready to go. I’m into it.
Jack: I mean, could we take like, a five minute break?
Austin: Let’s take a break.
Sylvia: Yeah.
Jack: I like, have- I- Yeah. Let’s think this over and take a break cause like- [Ali laughs] [crossatalking begins] maybe we just roll up on this dragon.
Art: We haven’t all ever- [inaudible]
Austin: Here’s the- You know what the trick to fighting this fucking dragon might be? Seven people.
Keith: Yeah. Yeah! That’s what I’m sayin’!!
Janine: Yeah.
Keith: We gotta roll up on it!
Ali: Mmm.
Jack: Let’s take five minutes. We’ll-
Ali: Ok.
Austin: God, there’s a specific thing- there’s a specific thing that I have planned that go- And I’m not- I am not advocating to go fight the Advocate, but I do want to say that there is a specific thing that was like, a complication to that that would have existed in the full- in the thing where it’s its own separate arc. But- but moving quickly would-
Jack: That would just pose no problem at all for seven people.
Austin: -would- It would- There would be a- No, the thing that would be the complication would be a little icing on the cake if you pulled this off is what I will say instead.
Jack: Huh.
Keith: Ok, cool.
Janine: Hmm.
Austin: But let’s take a break.
[crosstalking]
Keith: I love some icing.
Austin: I know exactly what the- The reward is extremely good.
Keith: I mean, imagine a cake with i- an ic-
Austin: It’s extremely good.
Keith: An icingless cake is not what I want, so-
Austin: No. Right, true. True. [Ali laughs] Alright.
Janine: I kind of would prefer an icingless cake to an icing cake.
Keith: I like some icing. It’s very easy to over-ice a cake. That’s why I’m-
Austin: I’m taking a break.
Janine: Everyone take a break. Everyone go.
Austin: Alright. We’re back. So… how’s everyone feeling?
Janine: If we go do this, can we have moments like, on the road to it or something?
Austin: Yeah. Total- We’re gonna have to do a- a fuckin’ uh, the roll. The travel roll. People he- You will have time- I’m not gonna like, ‘and now you’re fighting the dragon immediately.’ Cause I have to describe what’s goin’ on up there, for sure. And there's like, gonna be cool stuff as you walk up there, you know? You travel up there. Um, and there will be- I will not take away your time to have conversations before like, whatever comes next either. Or- who- like, I will if someone is like, ‘I’m gonna go do this right now.’ And that will be the thing, but like, I’m happy to have another dowtime episode, if this downtime episode turns into ‘then we kill the dragon’ you know?
Keith: Um-
Janine: That makes me feel a little better.
Austin: Um, cause I know people had stuff that they wanted to go do. Like, I- I a hundred percent get that. I will tell you, the reward for doing this right now [Ali laughs] is incredible. [Janine laughs] And I don’t have to change shit. Like, it is- it is- I don’t have to change shit! [Sylvia, Janine, and Ali laugh]
Dre: Yeah.
Jack: So, when you say the reward is incredible, Austin, what you also mean is the reward is great for you-
Austin: I love it!
Jack: [laughing] -cause it means no bonus prep.
Austin: I mean well- It means- There was like, a throwaway thing that was not gonna come up probably. But I mean, you’ll see. You’ll see. [Ali laughs]
Keith: We- I think we will see.
Ali: Will we see?
Keith: I think it sounds like we’re gonna do it.
Austin: I mean-
Jack: I mean, do we actually- Do we actually- We’re in a war room, do we have a vote?
Austin: Yeah. Yeah, you do. [light laugh]
Jack: Who proposes the vote? Is it Corsica?
Austin: I don’t think Corsica’s someone who’d ev- who’s ever proposed a vote in her life. [Jack laughs]
Sylvia: Alright. I’ll propose the vote.
Sylvia (as Ephrim): We need to- we need to make a decision here. And so, if the majority of us don’t want to go do this now, we won’t, but if we have a chance, we should take it.
Austin: [overlapping Sylvia] Alright, I’m gonna start a tally. [Ali laughs] I’m gonna start a tally.
Ali: I’m gonna say quickly-
Keith: Do we want to go around the horn?
Austin: Yeah, we gotta go around the horn, right?
Ali: Do we want to talk out of character first so people who can-
Austin: Yes.
Ali: -want to do that can?
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: No. [Ali laughs] Yes.
Ali: Cause I just want to say straight out, I think that we should absolutely go fight this dragon as seven people cause that’s amazing. But I’m super on the fence about the Hella’s body thing still.
Austin: Uh hm.
Ali: And if that becomes like, a combo- if that just happens as part of this, I don’t want to do that.
Austin: [overlapping Ali] I can imagine a world in which we are able to pause before that decision gets made.
Ali: Ok.
Austin: Do you know what I mean? Like, we can deal with- If you can secure this shit, that will be a thing that’s on the table as a decision. Do you know what I mean? Um, and instead of having to go to Marielda- the City of First Light, you would have it here. Like, not at the university, but like-
Jack: Like a caravan journey away.
Austin: Yeah, and I wouldn’t even make you roll for it. Do you know what I mean?
Ali: Oh, so I would have that option available without having to- [overlapped] I would still be able to explore-
Austin: R- Without it being the next arc. Do you know what I mean? Yes.
Ali: Yeah. Ok. yeah. Alright. Ok.
Austin: I know it’s a big decision. And also, [laughing] who knows who lives through any of this fucking dragon.
Keith: Sorry, is-- is the- is the question-
Austin: The question- the question is are we moving into a situation where it’s like, we- we the players want an extra week to sleep on what happens with Hella and Hella’s body. Which we- which I think most of us do, those of us who are involved. Me and Hella- me and Ali, specifically. [Ali laughs] Just specifically like, ‘hmm, I don’t know about this.’
Ali: Hella and Austin have to think about it for a little while. [laughs]
Austin: For a little while. I’ll let you know how it goes, Ali. [Austin and Ali laugh] And the question is is that so that we can do a pick up where it’s like, and this is Hella making that decision or is that where you have- once you have control of that space, it’s available to revisit? And I think there is probably something cleaner in going knowing. In which case, that’s about- that’s about this game ending after you successfully dealt with the dragon if you do. Or ending with us ready to do a pick up in a week, where like, ‘and then this scene happens before the end.’ Ya know? Um, but I can go either way with that. Like, I- I guess I’m not- I’m not as sold as ‘then the characters get there, and then they do the process.’
Ali: Ok, yeah.
Austin: Only because- only because what- this fight is not, we have to get Hella into this new body and the dragon is here trying to stop us from doing that. Do you know what I mean?
Ali: Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’re going there for the dragon, so yeah.
Austin: Right. That’s a cool fight, too. The idea- That’s what the Ordenna thing probably would have been. The go to Marielda thing would not have been this four people beats Mariel- or beats Ordenna singlehanded. It would have probably been we have to get in and do this procedure. Like, this ritual or whatever without getting caught or while holding off Ordenna for long enough for Hella to like, get into a sick- like, to break the cast on her arm and to say, ‘Mommy’s got to go to work.’ [Ali laughs] Ya know?
Art: Yeah, more like three people do the ritual, and one person, Hadrian, fights Ordenna all by himself.
Austin: Uh huh.
Art: That would have been what it would have been.
Austin: Uh huh Right. Yeah.
Art: That’s- that’s what that would have been like.
Austin: Great. So-
Janine: I’m a very good fighter now, actually.
Austin: You are. So, out of character again, let’s finish the out of the character stuff before a vote happens. Is anyone like, ‘I really want this downtime before we fight a dragon?’ Which is again, I would rather have that on the table than have anyone be uncomfortable or feel like, ‘shit, I’m not gonna get to do the thing I want to do.’ And also, let me know the thing that you want to do, either via DM or just right now because that way I will know not to make decisions that take it off the table. You know what I mean?
Jack: I want to talk to Tel, but I think I know a fairly easy way to kill two birds with one stone.
Austin: Ok.
Jack: Which is I want to bring Tel if we go and kill the dragon.
Austin: Ooo.
Art: When did we start calling him Tel?
Austin: I don’t fuckin’-
Jack: I think when he betrayed us.
Austin: Yeah, when he became a snitch.
Ali: Yeah.
Janine: He lost first name privileges.
Keith: Yeah. [Austin laughs]
Janine: Um, I want to rebuild the house for my orphan thief children.
Jack: Oh yeah.
Austin: Yeah.
Janine: That’s important to me.
Austin: I think that’s probably a thing that we- we probably already did, but we can zoom in there. After and like, the finishing touches when you get back or something.
Janine: Yeah.
Austin: I mean like, that’s certainly a thing that I think, if this vote goes well and there is a montage of like, final steps, seeing you with those kids would be good, you know? But I want that scene.
Janine: I also-
Austin: I also want-
Janine: I also took the- I took the Bareblo move when it looked like, ‘ok, we might actually be fighting in this session.’
Austin: Wait, what’s- Wait, so wha-
Janine: I was like-
Austin: What move did you take?
Janine: I took Animal Companion.
Austin: Ok, cool. You think that’s Barbelo? You think Barbelo is Animal Companion. Probably, right?
Janine: What's the alternative? I thought you needed Animal Companion to have an animal.
Austin: You- I guess you do, right? There’s nothing in the-
Janine: Everything else is like attached to that.
Austin: The only other thing that I think it could be is from this Dragon Rider class. Uh, in the-
Janine: [laughing] Well, I don’t have that in my fuckin’ Dungeon Menu, so-
Austin: Well, no. It’s cause it’s from the other thing.
Janine: Uh hm.
Austin: And I know Barbelo’s not a dragon, but Barbelo is technically a monster. [light laugh] Um, so it might be… You know what? Here’s- I think just take that move, but if you level up again and want to take the monster move, you can do that. The-
Janine: Is this just like, a move about having a monster?
Austin: There’s a level up Ranger ability that is like, also you have a- it’s also a monster, which means it gets better stats.
Janine: Oh.
Austin: It’s a- it’s one of the advanced moves. So, if you level up again, and you’re like, I actually- Yes, the blink dog, Barbelo, already has these abilities, but I don’t know how to fuckin’ like, get the best out of him.’
Janine: What move is that? Oh, A Natural Ally. Ok.
Austin: You see it. A Natural Ally.
Janine: So, that is specifically a thing that builds on Animal Companion.
Austin: Yeah, that builds on Animal Companion. You can’t just take that. Yes.
Janine: Ok.
Austin: Um, alright. Cool. You put the stats in and all that? And strengths?
Janine: I- I like, guessed at what they seemed like they would be. I don’t know if you have preset ones for Barbelo that fit in this kind of like-
Austin: What- what did you pick?
Janine: Uh, I picked ferocity two, cunning two, zero armor, um, one instinct.
Austin: Yeah, that looks right, from these- from this list.
Janine: And adaptable, stealthy, fight, perform, and flighty.
Austin: Yeah, that seems right. Cool. Not- not hunt or search huh?
Janine: I mean, I’m trying to be honest to what we’ve seen of Barbelo and like-
Austin: Yeah.
Janine: -the number one things that he seems to do are like, get in the fray-
Austin: Right.
Janine: -and make people invisible.
Austin: That’s fair. And that's- yeah.
Janine: I mean also, we did give him a thing to like, smell around and stuff, but that kind of seems like a thing that dogs- he does like a normal dog. So, maybe he wouldn’t like, get a bonus for it, but like, it’s a-
Austin: Mm.
Janine: Like-
Austin: If it’s not trained, it means- So, that’s- that’s why I'm saying- It’s like, I’ve seen you do it. Cause I don’t know that we’ve seen- Have we seen Barbelo perform?
Janine: Perform is what I- Is the way I’m describing the invisibility trick.
Austin: I think that that comes from stealthy. Or I think that like, I’m gonna give you that from stealthy.
Janine: Ok.
Austin: As its strength. Perform is like a dancing dog or bear or like, a monkey that plays an instrument.
Janine: It just kind of felt like a trick, so that was why-
Austin: It does feel like a trick, but I feel like it would be hard to do for money. It would be hard to be like, ‘Barbelo, you’re gonna become-’
Janine: I dis- [laughs] I disagree. I don’t know.
Austin: I don’t think Barbelo would want-
Janine: Like I could build an act around that.
Austin: Right, well-
Ali: Also, just have the dog steal money. You get money. [Austin, Ali, and Janine laugh] It’s a simple one.
Austin: Damn.
Janine: Yeah, we have a lot of options going for it.
Austin: We do.
Janine: It’s true. I’m gonna-
Austin: I will take-
Janine: I’ll switch perform out with uh, search, I guess.
Austin: Hunt, search, or scout which is all so overlapping that I don’t know.
Janine: Yeah, I mean I could argue that hunt is different than search or scout, but search and scout seem…
Austin: Yeah. Yeah. Alright. Um, alright. Should we do a vote? What’s the vote look like? I guess Ephrim, you already called for it.
Sylvia: Yeah, I think-
Austin: Do you want to recall for it now that we’re-
Sylvia: Yeah.
Austin: -more in agreement?
Sylvia (as Ephrim): An opportunity like this isn’t gonna- isn’t gonna stay. This thing could leave at any moment. I think we need to move now, so if you’re in agreement with that… I guess we’ll do a show of hands and whoever wants to go can come.
Keith (as Fero): Ok, everyone either raise your hands or don’t.
Austin: We have to go around.
Keith: [jokingly] Ok, count ‘em.
Austin: We have to say ‘aye’. It’s not- No. [Keith and Janine laugh] Corsica says,
Austin (as Corsica): Aye.
Keith (as Fero): Aye.
Dre (as Throndir): Aye.
Ali (as Hella): Aye.
Janine (as Adaire): Aye. [Janine laughs lightly]
Ali: Aww. [laughs]
Austin: Um, Victoria says,
Austin (as Victoria): Aye.
Austin: Gloria Lake says,
Austin (as Gloria): No, I think we need more information.
Jack (as Lem): Aye.
Austin: Chatterchin says,
Austin (as Chatterchin): I’m not going, but I also think you’re all rushing into this.
Austin: So, no. Red Jack sighs and says,
Austin (as Red Jack): Aye.
Austin: Um, Sunder says,
Austin (as Sunder): The numbers are against us, but for the record, ‘no.’
Austin: Rosana I think looks at you, Hadrian.
Art: Oh, Hadrian’s lookin’ at her.
Austin (as Rosana): What are- [exhales]
Keith (as Fero): Do you want to do ‘three, two, one’?
Austin (as Rosana): Yeah, let’s do three, two, one.
Keith (as Fero): Alright. Three-
Art (as Hadrian): Wait. Let’s not- Woah, woah, let’s- [Sylvia and Austin laugh lightly]
Ali: Fero, who has never been married. [Austin laughs hard] [Janine and Sylvia laugh]
Dre: Oh yeah, all good marriages are built on three, two, one. [Janine laughs again]
Jack: Fero’s married to the earth.
Austin: Right.
Keith: I mean isn’t it really nice to know what two people think independently of each other? And then to make-
[crosstalking]
Jack: Simultaneously? In front of-
Keith: And then to make it-
Dre: What more could you want?
Jack: -thirteen people?
Keith: Well, and then to make a decision together?
Art: Yeah, we- A lot of people don’t know this, but at my actual wedding, Jess and I had agreed that we would just do three, two, one while we were up there [Austin laughs] as to if we wanted to get married.
Austin: Ok.
Art: We hadn’t talked about it at all.
Austin: Play it by ear.
Ali: Mm.
Art: Yeah.
Austin: You were like, ‘let’s just have a good party.’
Keith: Well, but you both agreed to get up there, so that’s like- you’re mostly on your way, right?
Art: Yeah, I guess for the purposes of this bit, the elaborate wedding ceremony does work against it. [Jack laughs]
Austin: [laughs] A little bit.
Austin (as Rosana): You’re gonna go. And I would, too.
Art (as Hadrian): You can- you could come.
Austin (as Rosana): [incredulous] No! [Keith laughs] No, I’m not gonna go fight that dragon. I’m-
Art (as Hadrian): No, you shouldn’t fight the dragon, but you could like, come most of the way.
Austin (as Rosana): I’m gonna stay here. We just got back. I’m gonna make sure Benjamin is… settling.
Art (as Hadrian): Yeah, don’t tell him.
Austin (as Rosana): Don’t tell him?
Art (as Hadrian): Until we’re gone.
Austin (as Rosana): No! Hadrian. Hadrian.
Art (as Hadrian): He’s gonna come. He’s gonna try to come!
Austin (as Rosana): And you’re his father, and you’re gonna say no. And you’re gonna explain to him why.
Art (as Hadrian): He can turn invisible. [Ali, Austin, Jack, and Dre laugh]
Keith (as Fero): That complicates things.
Art (as Hadrian): He could get all the way there, and I’ll have no idea!
Art: I think. I don’t really know how long invisibility lasts.
Austin: It’s a while, right?
Janine: Not as long as you want.
Austin: Well, depends apparently on different types of people. Uh, invisibility spells. [exhales]
Austin (as Rosana): We can’t be afr-
Art (as Hadrian): Ok, we’ll tell him, but you keep him- you keep him in your eyesight for a good whi- till we’re-
Austin (as Rosana): How do you know he can’t do some sort of spell that makes him illusorily appear in front of me while secretly being invisible?
Keith (as Fero): Did you call him a loser?
Austin (as Rosana): No, I didn’t call my son a loser. I love him.
Art (as Hadrian): Alright. Grab on. Like- like- [Ali laughs]
Keith (as Fero): What did you say?
Austin (as Rosana): Illusorily.
Keith (as Fero): Alright, well you see the confusion though, at least.
Austin (as Rosana): We can’t-
Art (as Hadrian): What about just like a- like a two hour hug? Just like, you grab that-
Ali (as Hella): What? [Ali, Austin, and Keith laugh]
Art (as Hadrian): You grab that kid, and you hold him.
Keith: Benjamin, give me your two hour hug. Don’t ask why.
Austin: He’s eighteen or nineteen.
Art: No, no. I’ve- I’ve changed my-
Austin: We don’t really know. We’ve lost track.
Austin (as Rosana): You can’t be afraid of our son.
Art (as Hadrian): That’s ridiculous.
Austin (as Rosana): [sighs] He-
Art (as Hadrian): I can be afraid for our son. [Austin laughs]
Austin: Of course I can be afraid of the wind. Um-
Art: Yo, no one here has never been afraid of the wind.
Austin: [laughing] Yeah, the wind is scary.
Art: Yeah.
Austin: It just comes from nowhere. No one knows.
Art: Sometimes it blows over houses.
Austin: I know.
Jack: Trees. Trees.
Art: And sometimes it’s very pleasant.
Jack: Comes from trees.
Austin: And sometimes it’s nice. Sometimes you’re like, ‘ah, a nice wind.’ Um,
Austin (as Rosana): You’re gonna tell him or I’m gonna tell him.
Art (as Hadrian): I’ll tell him, but-
Austin (as Rosana): I’m gonna tell him that-
Art (as Hadrian): We can both tell him.
Austin (as Rosana): We’re gonna tell him that you’re going to do this thing because you are one of a handful of people who can do this thing. And that he needs to stay here because he can do incredible things, too. And one day-
Art (as Hadrian): Better things, honestly.
Austin (as Rosana): Ok, well- We’re not sending him.
Art (as Hadrian): No, but I’m- I’m- All I- All I do is- is… Alright. Ok. We’ll tell- We can do this later.
Austin (as Rosana): We’ll do it later.
Art (as Hadrian): Yeah.
Austin (as Rosana): Yes.
Art (as Hadrian): I’m going.
Austin: Two more votes, yes. Is that everyone? Uh, have I skipped anybody? Victoria says yes also. I don’t remember if I said her or not. I definitely said Gloria said no. But I think she did. I think they both did.
Austin (as Corsica): The ‘ayes’ have it,
Austin: Says Corsica. Love it when a vote goes the way I agree. [exhales] Daylight? Or today? Say your goodbyes? Get your stuff ready.
Art: What time is it?
Austin: Um, afternoon?
Art: Dinner or lunch?
Austin: Lunch. It was a good lunch war table.
Ali: [quietly] Brunch war table.
Austin: Yeah. Mimosas, definitely. [Ali laughs]
Keith: Benedicts.
Austin: Bene- Bennies. Yeah.
Keith: Get some bennies-
Jack: Two mimosas with the brunch.
Austin: Get some waffs. Aright. Um-
Keith: Do they have waffs in Indianapolis?
Austin: They gotta. We can finally get some waffs, Keiff.
Keith: I know.
Austin: Keith.
Dre: Wait, what?
Keith: Waffs!
Austin: I said Keiff. [Janine laughs] Uh, no one has ever-
Keith: Ok, that makes sense. My nickname for the first like, fifteen years of my life was Keifer. [Jack laughs]
Austin: Was Keifer?
Ali: What?
Keith: Keifer, yeah. My parents-
Dre: Like Kiefer Sutherland?
Keith: My par- Yeah. My parents would call me Keifer all the time. Well, my dad’s name is Keith, so they would call me Keifer.
Ali: Oh.
Austin: Oh, they could’ve named you that.
Keith: Um…
Austin: They didn’t.
Keith: But they didn’t.
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: [laughs] But- I mean, they did technically. They called me Keifer for fifteen years.
Austin: Right, true. That’s a long time.
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: That’s fifteen whole years. Alright. So, final preparations for this. I have a- one good question.
Dre: Uh hm.
Austin: How do you fight a dragon? Have you ever fought a dragon before? Yes, you have.
Ali: Right.
Austin: How do you fight a dragon?
Ali: Well, there’s seven of us now.
Austin: Ok.
Dre: Yeah.
Ali: Seven ropes.
Dre: What did and didn’t work last time?
Keith: You hurt it until it stops, right? [Janine sighs]
Austin: That’s what Red Jack said.
Dre: Alright, so first, uh, you gotta go to the really strong cat, and you gotta eat the food that gives you the stamina and the health buff. [Jack laughs]
Austin: Yeah. Uh huh.
Ali: Mm.
Jack: Uh hm. Uh hm. And then there’s like an unbelievably confusing match-making process.
Austin: Right. [laughs] Yes.
Dre: Yeah. Um, you also want to make sure you’re bringing lots of flash bombs.
Austin: Right.
Ali: Well, we already had the confusing match-making process [Austin laughs] with Hadrian and Rosana a second ago. [everyone laughs]
Austin: Oh, I thought with Adelaide, Adaire, and Hella. [Austin, Sylvia, Jack, Janine and Ali laugh again] Um-
Ali: Um-
Dre: Uh, I know before we go, I want to give this staff to Sunder.
Austin: Ok.
Ali (as Hella): You don’t want to take that to the dragon?
Dre (as Throndir): Uh, if I do, I definitely want to ask the person who could probably tell us how to use it.
Ali (as Hella): Good call.
Austin: Um, God, could anyone-
Art: We’re all too comfortable using lich stuff.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: I just wanna get that out.
Dre: No, I mean I’m not. [laughing] That’s why I’m asking her.
Austin: She says, um,
Austin (as Sunder): This is a new staff. I haven’t seen this one before.
Austin: And tells you that it um- it was made with a mixture of a very powerful metal, a very like, sturdy metal and a very like- like a metal that has like, a high enchantment rate. You know what I mean? You can put a lot of points of spells into this metal, but also a core of some sort of like, ironwood from the new Spring. And that it’s just like- She can hold onto it and do cool stuff. I don’t know that you can- I don’t think anyone in this- in this party knows how to use a staff in that way. Like, maybe Lem could do some shit, but y’all aren’t a very magical crew at this point- in that way. In the wizard-y way. Benjamin could.
Keith (as Fero): Um, can I get some input on my book as well maybe? Just in case.
Austin: Yeah, it’s a- it’s every spell that Arrell knew, which is like, every spell in the book. Um, it’s a great spellbook. It’s also some shit that’s like, people shouldn’t-
Austin (as Sunder): This is too dangerous. Some of this stuff. We should keep that book in the safest place.
Austin: And Sunder’s like,
Austin (as Sunder): Honestly? Safer than me. Somewhere under guard. Somewhere where like, looking at it requires-
Keith (as Fero): How ‘bout we just tear out- Can we like, tear out some of the pages and rip ‘em up?
Austin (as Sunder): We should not-
Keith (as Fero): I’m fine with that.
Austin (as Sunder): One, we don’t know what will happen if we try to destroy any part of this book. We could all go up in flames.
Keith (as Fero): Ugh.
Austin (as Sunder): Wizards are very protective of their spells.
Keith (as Fero): Magic is so annoying.
Austin (as Sunder): That’s-
Keith (as Fero): I hate that it’s what I do. [Austin and Jack laugh]
Art (as Hadrian): What if we trick the dragon into tearing some pages out of the book?
Austin (as Sunder): [quietly] Ok. Hadrian-
Keith (as Fero): Oh, this is a book mission now.
Austin (as Sunder): I- Hm. We don’t know for sure that that’s how that works.
Janine (as Adaire): Or that the dragon can’t read.
Art (as Hadrian): Well, the dragon can’t use it.
Janine (as Adaire): We don’t know that either.
Austin (as Sunder): Well, we don’t know that.
Ali (as Hella): Oh my god. If any- the dragon learned any of these spells, we’re keeping the book home.
Janine (as Adaire): What if it got the staff, too? That’d be hilarious and terrible. [laughs]
Austin (as Sunder): We should keep all of the magic stuff here.
Keith: Is there something- Out of character, is there something that I can learn from this book right now?
Austin: Nah.
Keith: No?
Austin: It’s a different type of magic, dude. It’s just like-
Keith: I have those cleric spells.
Austin: Uh, yeah, but that’s a third, different type of magic. [laughs]
Keith: Oh, ok.
Austin: It’s like, druid shit is nature magic.
Keith: Uh huh.
Austin: Cleric and Paladin stuff is divine magic. And wizard stuff is arcane magic. The closest thing to it is Bard magic, which is a different type of thing. Which is like the irony of the pattern magicians and the wizards having a rivalry is like, they basically do the same type of thing. It’s just a different way of getting there.
Jack: And they probably know it.
Austin: Oh yeah.
Jack: They just would refuse to admit it.
Austin: As Fantasmo did.
Jack: Yep. [laughs] And I think as Lem has done in the past, as well.
Austin: Yep. Totally. But in terms of-
Art: What about the crown? Could someone now look at the crown?
Austin: Yeah. It’s worth a lot Um, I don’t know if it does anything special. I don’t know if it would do anything special for y’all. Um, especially now that Arrell is dead. Like, maybe it was a beacon. Like, maybe it was like an enchantment type thing. But Arrell is dead, so I don’t know what it does yet. But was a crown made for Sam- Also, it might just be a nice crown. Sunder will investigate, if you leave it with her.
Art: I don’t want to bring it, so-
Austin: Right. It was worth a lot. It was worth like, a grand.
Art: Yeah, I remember that part. I want to- I want- If it’s nothing, I want it back.
Austin: Right, she agrees. [laughs lightly] Alright. Any other- So, yeah. I think we get like, a last shot for everybody here in this- before we go out. So, that’s probably Adaire, you with Rix and Rowe, I’m guessing.
Janine: Yeah. And probably Barbelo now.
Austin: And Barbelo. They’re like, ‘You got a dog!’
Janine: Can I- um, have- get- Did Barbelo have like, a collar or anything?
Austin: I don’t think so.
Janine: Can I give Barbelo like, a little scarf with Sol’s pocket watch on it.
Austin: Yes.
Janine: Like as a little like- cause Adaire doesn’t have like, a proper like, name tag or anything.
Austin: Yes.
Janine: But she’s like, ‘this is shiny and cool.’
Austin: Uh huh. Totally.
Janine: This- [Austin barks lightly as Barbelo] This looks like my dog now, for sure.
Austin (as Barbelo): Roof! Rrr-rr.
Jack: ‘Hey, is that dog called Sol?’ [Janine laughs]
Austin: Oh my god.
Janine: Only when I’m mad at it. [Austin and Jack laugh]
Austin: ‘Sol Barbelo Ducarte, you get over here right now.’ [Dre and Ali laugh]
Jack: I think I poisoned you- Wait, did you- Which one? [Janine and Austin laugh] Did Sol get poisoned?
Austin: Sol’s dead. Sol’s the one who got dead, yeah.
Janine: He didn’t die from the poison though. That was the whole thing.
Austin: No. Yeah. I think?
Jack: I would like to… I want to get Uklan Tel-
Austin: Uh hm.
Jack: -and I want to say goodbye to Emmanuel.
Austin: Ok. Um, let’s do the Emmanuel one, and then Uklan Tel will be there, you know, with you.
Jack: But like, I want to be clear. He is coming as like a-
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: I’m thinking of like the image of like, the… the posse riding out with their captive-
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: -who they’ve got, who’s just like, on the back of a horse and is like, ‘god, I don’t know where we’re going.’
Austin: Uh huh. ‘I swear I’m not part of that gang.’ Yeah.
Jack: Yeah, exactly.
Austin: Um, [exhales] you find Emmanuel- you actually find Emmanuel at work, you know, cooking at the big like, mess, but on a break talking to Devar. Devar van der Dawes, who is like, getting his stuff ready to go. Um, when you come in, you hear Devar’s like- like,
Austin (as Devar): Yeah, uh, right now I’m calling it ‘The Last Days The We Had: A Narrative Catalogue of Hieron, End Apparent,’ but I think it’s like, wordy. So, I’m gonna think on it for a little bit. But I’m workin’- Oh! Lem, how you been?
Austin: And-
Jack (as Lem): That sounds amazing. I don’t-
Austin: Emmanuel looks up to you and is like,
Austin (as Emmanuel): He’s writing a book.
Jack (as Lem): I heard. I- I… You’ve written it? Are you just working on the title now?
Austin (as Devar): I’m in the process. No, no- uh, it’s comin’ toge- It’s like, draft seven. It’s big, and so I want to make sure everything’s right. And you know, um… But yeah. It’s like, about, you know, everything that has happened so far. So, not every- [laughs] not everything, but like, since- since I’ve been involved in any way. Stuff I put together from hearing about it. Um, good job on the Solarch. That’s in there now… also.
Jack (as Lem): [small laugh] Huh. Well… yeah.
Austin (as Devar) I mean [pause] Sor- I… I guess you weren’t there for that, now that I think about it. [Ali laughs] So, you’re not actually… Um…
Austin: And Emmanuel reaches over and puts his hand on the small of your back, from the seat where he’s at, and he stands up. [exhales] Um, and so- And Devar is like,
Austin (as Devar) Uh, I’m gonna go actually, and um, I got some other stuff to do. But good seeing you. Um, both of you. I’ll catch you soon. Peace.
Austin: And he heads out. And Emmanuel turns to look at you, and says,
Austin (as Emmanuel): You have that look in your eye.
Jack (as Lem): [pauses] Yeah… We had a meeting. [pause] Um… and do you remember the dragon?
Austin (as Emmanuel): Do I remember the-? Yes, I remember the dragon.
Jack (as Lem): So, we all sat down, and we were like- we were working out what we were gonna do next, right?
Austin (as Emmanuel): Mmm.
Jack (as Lem): And- and there was the dragon. And we’re all worried about Ordenna.
Austin (as Emmanuel): And you’re going… to fight a dragon. The dragon.
Jack (as Lem): Yeah, I’m going to fight the dragon. But like- [quieter] Yeah, I’m going to fight the dragon.
Austin (as Emmanuel): It’s fine. It- Lem, it’s fine. [pauses] I’ll be here. I’ll be very scared. But I know you’re trying. I know you stayed when you could have left. I know you want to be here.
Jack (as Lem): Is Devar-
Austin (as Emmanuel): And this dragon seems bad.
Jack (as Lem): It is. It is. Is Devar leaving-leaving? Or is he just-
Austin (as Emmanuel): They’ll be around. He’s leaving the room.
Jack (as Lem): He was just going? You were just having like, lunch?
Austin (as Emmanuel): Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jack (as Lem): He’s not going forever?
Austin (as Emmanuel): No.
Jack (as Lem): Ok, so-
Keith: Try to get Devar to come. That would be funny.
Jack: It’s a bit like that, I guess.
Austin: He could.
Jack: I mean I could try and-
Jack (as Lem): He’s- I won’t try and make him come and kill the dragon with me, right? That would be bad, right?
Austin: Emmanuel?!
Jack: No, Devar. [laughs]
Austin: Oh [laughs] my god.
Jack: I’m asking Devar- I’m asking Emmanuel if like-
Jack (as Lem): I shouldn’t try and bring Devar with me, should I?
Austin (as Emmanuel): No, that seems- No, that seems… dangerous.
Jack (as Lem): And you don’t want to come?
Austin (as Emmanuel): [exhales] Oh, sweetheart…. No.
Jack (as Lem): Ok, I just thought- But if I went, and you were like, ‘why didn’t he ask?’
Austin (as Emmanuel): I know. No, it’s fine. I’ll be here, and I’ll do my best to keep everyone here safe and well-fed. And I’ll tell them that my boyfriend is going to kill a dragon. The dragon. And they’ll be very impressed. And then they’ll give me a good tip because I’ve told them a good story.
Jack (as Lem): I am going to try not to get killed by a dragon. And if I do, I will keep in mind that you are here doing that.
Austin: Um, and he starts to cry, and like, rests his head on your shoulder.
Jack: Are there just the- There’s like the sound of like horse-
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: -like tack being put on horses outside.
Austin: Uh huh.
Jack: And like, feet in the square.
Austin: Yeah. People calling for things. Like, you hear someone shout like, ‘Thirty-two arrows’-
Jack: ‘I need my dragon killing armor!’
Austin: Right. Exactly that. Yeah, exactly that.
Ali: It’s Red Jack who says that.
Austin: It’s Red- [laughs] Yes, it is. [Jack laughs] Oh, Red Jack’s comin’, for sure.
Jack: Oh god. Ok. Yeah, I don’t want to [laughs] defuse the sadness of-
Austin: [overlapping] The oni children run through- [laughing] Yeah, exactly.
Jack: But like, does Red Jack have unique dragon killing armor?
Austin: God, he must, right?
Jack: Like, does Red Jack just emerge from a doorway just like, decked out in a new suit of armor? [light laugh]
Austin: Oh yeah. Absolutely. Scale mail that’s just like, covering him from head to toe that has a- It’s like a Monster Hunter thing, right? Like, he has the armor that’s good against fire on, and so [laughs] it’s like, from some sort of other- It’s probably from the first time he fought this. The Advocate.
Ali: Oh, that’s sick.
Austin: Right?
Janine: Oh, this is why Throndir wasn’t able to romance Red Jack. You can only start the romance after you defeat [Jack laughs] one of the dragons in the Hinterlands.
Austin: Right. Yes.
Ali: Ooo Throndir. [laughs]
Janine: And then-
Austin: Right. So, you better get this win.
Janine: Then you can romance Red Jack.
Austin: Then you can romance Red Jack, exactly.
Jack: Like, Emmanuel’s head is on Lem’s shoulder, and like-
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: -Lem puts his hands in Emmanuel’s hair and goes like,
Jack (as Lem): [awestruck] Holy shit. Look at Red Jack. [everyone laughs extremely hard throughout]
Austin: He turns.
Jack (as Lem): He’s like, dressed like a fucking dragon.
Austin (as Emmanuel): He looks sick. [Keith laughs]
Jack (as Lem): He looks- Look, I’m gonna be fine.
Austin (as Emmanuel): You’re gonna be ok. [laughs] We’re all gonna be ok. [Keith and Jack laugh]
Jack (as Lem): I’m gonna like, bring you back dragon meat.
Austin (as Emmanuel): I wonder how that tastes.
Jack (as Lem): Don't get your hope- like, you know, I- I mean-
Austin (as Emmanuel): No, I’m gonna go look up recipes. [Jack laughs] Bring me back dragon meat. Also, I have the litte-
Keith: Full of pink slime.
Austin: And he like-
Austin (as Emmanuel): The pockets. The little cube. The thing that sends the things. The messages.
Jack (as Lem): Amazing. I’ll- I mean… Keep it?
Austin (as Emmanuel): Yes.
Jack (as Lem): Keep an eye on it. I was just worried that you were gonna give it back to me cause that’s not how it works.
Austin (as Emmanuel): No.
Jack (as Lem): You have to hold it.
Austin (as Emmanuel): I will- I’ll hold it. I’ll send you messages every day. I’ll let you know how everything is.
Jack (as Lem): Alright. Great. Thank you. This is gonna go really well. [Austin laughs]
Jack: Um, and Lem just hustles off [overlapped] towards the Archives.
Art: Oh my god. Why’d you say that?
Austin: Why would you say it?! Out loud!! Alright. [laughs] Throndir, in the chat-
Keith: How else could it go? You all saw Red Jack. [Austin laughs]
Jack: Yeah, look at him.
Austin: He looks great. Uh, Dre in the chat says, ‘God, Red Jack ran the raid so many times.’ [Austin and Ali laugh] It’s true!
Jack: Red Jack is the-
Austin: He’s-
Jack: You know when you’re playing an MMO and like, around the like, fast travel gates, you see other player characters-
Austin: Yes.
Dre: Uh hm.
Jack: -and you’re just like, ‘how the fuck did they get that?’
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: ‘I don’t even think- I didn’t even think like, scarecrow vampires were in the game.’ [Austin laughs]
Austin: That is Red Jack and Corsica, literally.
Jack: Yeah.
Austin: They’re just- That’s them. Yeah. Um, great. [exhales] Any other final things here?
Dre: [sighs] Oh, should I talk to Blue J?
Austin: Mm. Probably.
Dre: Probably.
Austin: [sighs] Um, what’s that look like?
Dre: Oh man, I don’t know. How much has Benjamin told Blue J? [laughs]
Austin: Oh, ever- everything. Everything! Everything, everything, everything. Everything! Blue J like, I think is already- I think Blue J just sees you getting ready and is like,
Austin (as Blue J): So, you’re gonna go kill the dragon.
Dre (as Throndir): I hope.
Austin (as Blue J): I saw my dad was doin’ that, so I figured you were gonna go, too. Um… also you shot Benjamin?
Dre (as Throndir): [pause] Yeah.
Austin (as Blue J): You like, knew what was gonna happen, right? Like, it was ok?
Dre (as Throndir): That he- Yes.
Austin (as Blue J): Alright.
Dre (as Throndir): I mean, I knew as much as I could, but yeah.
Austin (as Blue J): How… How were you sure? Like, are there signs? Is it like, a trust your gut thing? Like-
Dre (as Throndir): [light laugh] Honestly uh-
Austin (as Blue J): It’s like a big risk, Throndir.
Dre (as Throndir): Yeah, no. Uh huh.
Austin (as Blue J): I- Like, Benjamin is the most important person in the world to me, so-
Dre (as Throndir): I know.
Austin (as Blue J): If you- [exhales and pauses] Yeah. Um… [exhales] I’m tryin’ to work through it, and like, I know… [exhales] Don’t get hurt fighting this stupid dragon. Kick the shit out of it, and then like, bring me back like, a big tooth that I could wear as like, a necklace or a hat.
Dre (as Throndir): What- what am I gonna wear then?
Austin (as Blue J): Get its tongue, and like, wear it like a cape or something. I don’t know. [Keith laughs]
Art: [disgusted] Ughh.
Dre (as Throndir): That’d be really gross.
Keith: That is gross. [Austin laughs]
Austin (as Blue J): I was- I’m comin’ up with- top of my dome. I’m just- I’m tryin’ to think of things I hadn’t-
Dre (as Throndir): What… what if we both just got like, armor like your dad.
Austin: [jokingly as Blue J] No, you have to run the raid like, thirty times. [Austin and Dre laugh]
Dre: I’ve been saving up lots of DKP.
Austin: [laughs] Um, they’re like,
Austin (as Blue J): Yeah. Yeah, I like- It seems like, heavy for me. I’m gonna go lighter. I want like, a… Yeah, I don’t know. Like, just a cool necklace. Anyway, good luck.
Dre (as Throndir): Yeah, you, too. Just… just stay close with- with Benjamin.
Austin (as Blue J): I will. Of course. What? Yeah. You don’t need to tell-
Dre (as Throndir): I know.
Austin (as Blue J): [stutters briefly] I just said Benjamin’s the most important person in the world to me. You don’t need to be like, ‘stay close.’ It’s fine.
Dre (as Throndir): Yeah, but like… I’ve messed everything up with all the people who are closest to me, and I don’t want that to happen to you.
Austin (as Blue J): No, you didn’t. Uklan Tel messed up everything to everyone who was close to him. Right? Like, you didn’t sell anything to the Heat and the Dark cult. You didn't like…
Dre (as Throndir): Yeah, I- Yeah, but I-
Austin (as Blue J): Ordenna messed up everything. The dragon is the one who- We buried those bones cause we loved that dude, I guess. I don’t really know him, but now it’s like, there’s a dragon in the sky, and it’s bad. You didn’t do that.
Dre (as Throndir): I mean, when you put it that way.
Austin (as Blue J): It’s fine. People will… It’s fine. But don’t just like, do it again… without getting permission… I guess.
Dre (as Throndir): Yeah.
Austin (as Blue J): I don’t know. I’m-
Dre (as Throndir): Fair.
Austin: There’s like, a little yip as like, the little grass fox runs up. And they turn around and like, kneel down, and they- they pet the fox. And they’re like,
Austin (as Blue J): Alright. Um… I’m gonna go deal with some stuff. Um, be safe.
Austin: These kids just keep- I keep wanting to say Uncle Throndir or Aunt Hella or- like, I keep wanting to do it. [Dre laughs] Maybe they just say ‘Unc.’
Austin (as Blue J): Stay safe Unc.
Austin: [laughing lightly] Which is extremely good. Um, alright. Rosana and Hadrian, how do you tell Benjamin this? What’s the- what’s the final step here? Do we even see it?
Art: I think like, carefully, you know?
Austin: Yeah.
Art: Like,
Art (as Hadrian): Hey. [Austin/Benjamin exhales] How you doin’?
Austin (as Benjamin): I’m beat.
Art (as Hadrian): I bet. It’s been a long couple-
Austin (as Benjamin): It’s like a month. Cause like, we left like, a month ago. And a month ago there was like, the whole conduit thing, and like- fwoof.
Art (as Hadrian): Yeah, honestly, who can even remember?
Austin (as Benjamin): I have a pretty good memory. I mean- [Keith laughs quietly] So-
Art (as Hadrian): You’ve probably noticed…
Austin (as Benjamin): Yeah.
Art (as Hadrian): A lot of stuff goin’ on.
Austin (as Benjamin): Yeah, so we goin’ again?
Art (as Hadrian): N- no. We are not… You and your mother sh- are gonna stay here.
Austin (as Rosana): And we’re gonna make sure everything here is good.
Austin: Says Rosana. Um,
Austin (as Rosana): There’s a lot of work to-
Art: I thought that was Benjamin. I thought we were gonna get out of this so easy.
Austin: [laughs] Rosana is like,
Austin (as Rosana): There’s a lot to do here. You have to pick up your studies. We have that book now which you can read under observation. And with- Sunder is gonna watch everything and help more. Um, help you study more.
Austin: And- and Benjamin is like,
Austin (as Benjamin): You’re gonna go fight the dragon without me.
Art (as Hadrian): Yeah. Uh huh.
Austin (as Benjamin): But I-
Art (as Hadrian): Definitely.
Austin (as Benjamin): [sighs] How are you gonna get it on the ground without magic? You think about that?
Art (as Hadrian): Uh… I bet Fero does something just like, bizarrely irresponsible that turns out just fine for him. [Keith laughs]
Austin (as Benjamin): Fero’s gonna be there. Yeah, that’ll work out. Um, ok. Well, what happens if you don’t have like- Magic has to hurt a dragon. Dragons resist regular… like, weapons all the time. And I have magic.
Art (as Hadrian): Well, we-
Austin (as Benjamin): I could even make your weapons magic. That’s a thing I can do. But not from here.
Art (as Hadrian): I have a magic weapon right now.
Austin (as Benjamin): Um… sure… but what happens if… what happens if you’re really hurt and… What happens if you’re really hurt and I need you be invisible? And that way nothing can hurt you. And I’m not there to do that.
Art (as Hadrian): Then the rest of those people are there to protect me.
Art: And I know we just said we weren’t gonna do this, but I’m absolutely saying,
Art (as Hadrian): Your Aunt Hella will be there. [Austin exhales a laugh] And… and I’m- I can’t- I can’t tell you- I can’t tell you I’m definitely gonna come back. But I want to.
Austin (as Benjamin): It would-
Art (as Hadrian): And I’m- I’m good at it.
Austin (as Benjamin): I’m good at it. I’m getting better. You weren’t always… If… If this dragon kills you… fwoo
Austin: And like sits down. Like, he hears him- he hears himself say it. [pause]
Austin (as Benjamin): Yeah… [exhales]
Art (as Hadrian): If this dragon-
Art: Oh sorry.
Austin: And he, like, rests his head on your- on your like, belly, basically from sitting down.
Art: Yeah, and- and Hadrian hugs him and says,
Art (as Hadrian): [slowly] If- if this dragon kills me, then you’re gonna need to be here for the rest of the world. For your mother. For the university. For everyone.
Austin (as Benjamin): [exhales and pauses] I just want to be there for you.
Art (as Hadrian): [slowly] I know. And I spent so long just wanting to be there for you, but the horrible thing about being exceptional is that sometimes you have to be there for others.
Austin (as Benjamin): Yeah. [pauses and exhales]
Austin: Rosana like, kneels down and puts a hand on his back and says,
Austin (as Rosana): You’re so young. And you have so much… to learn still. And I don’t mean that as an insult.
Austin: And he goes,
Austin (as Benjamin): [quietly] I know.
Austin (as Rosana): And you’re going- The things you’re going to be able to do to help people
Austin (as Benjamin): I know.
Austin: And she just like, leans forward and rests her head on his. [pauses] I think we cut there- here. Um, Adaire, I feel bad that I didn’t give you your Rix and Rowe scene, cause then I did thirteen other scenes with other people. [Janine laughs lightly] Um, do you want to wrap back around to that?
Janine: I mean, I- I didn’t push for it cause I- I don’t know how much there is there.
Austin: Ok.
Janine: Um, I think it’s- it’s worth like, seeing if something comes up, but- Yeah.
Austin: Yeah. I think it’s mostly them wanting to know- Like, they don’t need to be convinced that you have to go kill a dragon. They’re like- they’re like,
Austin (as Rix): We heard Red Jack calls you the tactician now. And that you killed- you killed a king. Like, an evil king who had armor on. Um, and where’d that armor go? Did you get that armor?
Janine (as Adaire): I don’t think I really was that involved in that second one. I killed other people. Um-
Austin (as Rix): Cool.
Janine (as Adaire): I killed the person that had a lot of badges on. [laughs] Uh, that broke. Um-
Austin (as Rowe): [laughs] I don’t know how to take that one. [Keith laughs]
Austin: [laughing] Says Rowe.
Austin (as Rowe): I don’t know what to do with that. It’s cool.
Austin (as Rix): Sh.
Janine (as Adaire): There were some- some magicians and stuff, too.
Austin (as Rowe): Wow. And you’re gonna fight a dragon now? LIke the- the red one? The big one? The bad one.
Janine (as Adaire): Yeah, the one that fucked up your house, but plus other stuff.
Austin (as Rowe): Alright. Cool. Um, if it gets past you, we’re gonna get people ready to fight it. That way no one’s house gets messed up again.
Austin: And Rix looks down at her younger brother and is like,
Austin (as Rix): Yeah, we’re gonna… Yeah. [stronger] Yeah, we’re gonna do that, Adaire.
Janine (as Adaire): Listen. If that thing gets past me, we’re honestly if that thing gets past the people I’m going with, um, [exhales a sigh] there’s no cool way to- You need to like, steal a horse or something.
Austin (as Rix): Oh, I know a horse we can steal.
Janine (as Adaire): Like a good horse?
Austin (as Rix): It’s- it’s- for our size? It’s a good horse.
Janine (as Adaire): Whose horse is it?
Austin (as Rix): I can’t tell you that. Protect your-
Janine (as Adaire): I’m the one telling you to steal it.
Austin (as Rix): Well, I already- Ok. [pauses] [whispering] It’s Red Jack’s horse.
Janine (as Adaire): That one’s not going to be here. [laughs]
Austin (as Rix): Shit! It was the best horse we know about.
Janine (as Adaire): Also, that horse, I do not think would let anyone [laughs] steal it. [Austin laughs]
Austin (as Rix): Alright, plan two. We will steal… a horse. [Ali, Art, Keith , and Sylvia laugh] So there. [Janine laughs] We’ll find one, and we’ll take it.
Janine (as Adaire): Uh hm.
Austin (as Rix): From the stables where they keep-
Austin: And she looks down at Rowe, and Rowe crosses his arms and goes,
Austin (as Rowe): -the horses. [Sylvia laughs]
Janine (as Adaire): Ok, don’t take one that’s like, bigger than you need. Just take- you know, take one of those ones that looks like it couldn’t really pull a wagon or anything. Cause that’s all you- you know- It’s like when you- it’s like when you go to the mess hall or whatever, you don’t need to take the whole- the whole side of lamb. You just take the- the slice.
Austin (as Rix): Take- Yeah. I gotcha.
Janine (as Adaire): You know?
Austin (as Rix): Yeah.
Janine (as Adaire): Don’t cut up the horse. I just mean take a smaller horse.
Austin (as Rix): I- I like horses the way they are.
Janine (as Adaire): Me, too.
Austin (as Rix): I like your dog, by the way.
Janine (as Adaire): Yeah.
Austin (as Rix): Saul. It’s a weird name for a dog.
Janine (as Adaire): It’s- His other name was weirder to be honest.
Austin (as Rix): Can I pet him?
Janine (as Adaire): Um…
Austin (as Barbelo): Rrr.
Janine: I think Adaire like, looks-
Austin (as Barbelo): Rrrp. Rrp. Rrrp. Rrp.
Janine: [laughing] I don’t know what that means! What does that mean?
Austin: You gotta use that move more. You’ll get there.
Janine: What move?
Austin: The one that lets you have a dog. [laughs] Over time you’ll start to understand what the way the dog sounds means.
Janine: [laughs] Ok. Um-
Austin: Ask Throndir. Throndir gets it.
Dre: Uh hm.
Austin: See?
Keith: This is a neighborhood dog. This dog goes around gettin’ pets from everyone, right?
Austin: Yeah, true.
Keith: That’s what neighborhood dogs do.
Janine: That’s- that’s like, the thing is that like, putting a collar on Barbelo feels like such a weird thing, you know, in its way. Because like, Barbelo is so much just like, this-
Austin: [laughs lightly] That’s why you didn’t put a collar on it- on him. You put a scarf or whatever, bandana.
Janine: I’m imagining-
Austin: [laughing] Like, he was like a cool Pepsi dog. [Keith laughs]
Janine: [laughs] I- Have you ever seen a picture of like, a shiba inu puppy-
Austin: Yes.
Janine: -with like, the little green band- I’m imagining it like that, but it’s got a little pocket watch in the front.
Austin: Love it. Perfect.
Janine: To make him feel fancy. I think it’s more of a confidence thing. Like a token.
Austin: Uh hm.
Keith: It also is sipping Pepsi from a straw. [Janine laughs]
Austin: Right. Of course.
Keith: Through a straw from a glass bottle.
Janine: I think it’s-
Austin: [laughing] Also, it’s on a skateboard. [Keith laughs] [overlapped] We are just describing Poochie.
Janine: I think-
Keith: Is it giving the middle finger?
Austin: [laughing] Yes. Weird. So much attitude. [Keith laughs]
Janine: I think Adaire is still very tentative about having- having Barbelo.
Austin: [laughing] I can’t believe they redesigned Sonic to look like Barbelo. [Keith laughs] Um, yeah. That’s fair.
Keith: You took until 2020 for this? [Austin laughs lightly]
Austin: Uh, I think that’s fair. I think that’s fair, Adaire.
Janine: Um…
Janine (as Adaire): Yeah, if he doesn’t snap at you, you can pet him.
Austin: They’re like,
Austin (as Rix/Rowe): Yeah!
Austin: And they like, sit down and- and start pettin’ Barbelo and playin’ with him. Um, cool. Hella, you’ve written in the chat, ‘Oh, can me and Adaire make an elaborate dragon lasso?’
Ali: Uh hm.
Austin: Out of what?
Ali: Rope.
Austin: Just like, rope? Yeah, that’s adventuring gear. Sure, take some adventuring gear.
Janine: I- I mean, I already have-
Austin: You have the old one.
Janine: My adventuring is ninety percent rope.
Austin: Right. [laughs]
Ali: Oh. Well.
Janine: We’ve established that it’s ninety percent rope.
Austin: That’s true. Um-
Ali: We could use some of Adaire’s rope.
Austin: There you go. Uh, any other conversations here that are not road conversations?
Keith: I’m ready to go.
Ali: No, I think that’s it. I think there’s like, Hella like, looking up at the tower that Samot sits in-
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: -while she’s putting her bags together, but like that’s it.
Austin: Do you- do you go looking for him at all?
Ali: No, not now.
Austin: ok.
Ali: We have to fight a dragon.
Austin: Alright. Cool. Um-
Janine: I’m also gonna clarify Adaire is fully sleeves down again. I think I mentioned that before, but like, I want it-
Austin: Good to know.
Janine: -to be known. Yeah.
Austin: Yeah. Um, have you considered instead of rolling up your sleeves, having cool weighted sleeves so that when you take them off, you drop them, and they go like, [foley] ‘pfwoo’ revealing that you have like, taken off your weighted clothing, and now you’re even more powerful. Like-
Janine: That’s very hard on the fabric. That’s why you’re not supposed to have a weighted blanket that overhangs the edges of your bed cause it’ll pull the stitching.
Austin: Mm. That makes sense. That makes sense, Yeah.
Janine: Yeah.
Art: Have you thought of having like, breakaway sleeves like, the pants of a basketball player?
Ali: Mm.
Janine: I don’t need to rip them off that often. It was kind of just a- [laughs] It’s…
Art: I think most breakaway pants are not broken away that often.
Keith: Speak for yourself. [Austin laughs lightly]
Janine: So, you’re just saying I should have like snaps up my sleeves?
Art: Uh huh. Fashion snaps.
Janine: Gimmick snaps. [Austin laughs]
Keith: They tingle when you eat them. [Keith, Janine, and Austin laugh lightly]
Austin: How does everyone sleep the night before this? Or do you leave at night? Do you get one last night of sleep?
Keith: I vote no. I vote we go that day.
Austin: This doesn’t make any difference except for flavor.
Art: I mean, it’s best to just like, fight a dragon just ex- just tired as you can- Just-
Austin: I mean it’s not- You’re not gonna go fight it in the middle of the night. You have a trip to make still. But like, are we setting off under torchlight or under the rising sun?
Keith: [whispers] Torchlight.
Art: I think torchlight. Torchlight sounds cool.
Austin: Yeah, torchlight.
Jack: Torchlight’s cool as hell.
Janine: Yeah, I’m kind of-
Keith: Yeah, it’s like- it’s like, ‘Yeah, let’s do this now. Let’s go now.’
[Jack de Quidt’s “Something” begins playing in the background]
Austin: Um, alright everyone gets together. And there’s like, torchlight, and there’s like, uh- You know there’s probably- Corsica has like, arranged for the blowing of trumpets. Like, you’re going off to do an amazing thing. And she is wise enough to be like, ‘and people are gonna fuckin’ hear about it.’
[Jack de Quidt’s “Something” plays out to end]
[1] The name in the audio recording is no longer in use, hence the audio/transcript discrepancy.