Crucial Conversations Worksheet
Step | Questions | Responses |
Get Unstuck | ||
Conversation Identification | What is the conversation I am not holding or not holding well? | |
Actions | How might I be acting out this situation? | |
Core Concern | What is at the heart of my concern? (One or two sentences) | |
Right Topic | What is the right topic to discuss? | |
Start with Heart | ||
True Wants | What do I want for myself, the other person, and the relationship? | |
Desired Behavior | How would I behave if I did want that? | |
Sucker’s Choice | Am I making a Sucker’s Choice? (A false dilemma or the worst of an either/or situation) | |
Learn to Look | ||
Safety Indicators | Is safety at risk? What are the indicators? | |
Usual Style | What is my usual style with this person in a similar situation (silence or violence)? | |
Mutual Purpose | What is our mutual purpose? (Are we willing to create one?) | |
Mutual Respect | Is there mutual respect? If not, what will it take to create it? | |
Master My Stories | ||
Story Identification | Am I telling a Victim, Villain, or Helpless Story? | |
Role Recognition | What am I pretending not to notice about my role in the situation? | |
Rational Perspective | Why would a reasonable, rational, and decent person do what they are doing? | |
Immediate Action | What should I do right now to move toward what I want? | |
Other's Story | What story might the other person be telling about me? | |
State My Path | ||
Sharing Facts | Share my facts: Start with “I have noticed that…” | |
Telling Story | Tell my story as a story, not as a fact. Use statements like “I am beginning to wonder…” | |
Asking Questions | Did I ask a question—and then ask more to understand their thought process? For example, “How do you see this situation…?” | |
Tentative Talk | Did I remember to talk tentatively and encourage testing (of my story)? | |
Explore Others’ Paths | ||
Observations | What did they see and hear? | |
Self-Dialogue | What did they tell themselves? | |
Actions | What actions did they take? | |
Move to Action | ||
Decision Making | If appropriate, decide in advance how the final decision will be made (Command, Consult, Vote, Consensus) | |
Actions and Follow-up | Document who does what by when. Follow up on actions to ensure accountability. |
You can download more Mental Health worksheets here.
Please note: There may be a more up-to-date and editable version of this worksheet available here which may be more suitable to present to clients if you are a therapist or to use in a classroom as a teacher or guidance counselor.
References
- Som M, Beaman J, Keener A, Stroup J. The impact of Crucial Conversations™ on interpersonal communication and professionalism. Oklahoma State Medical Proceedings. 2021 May 21;5(1).
- Patterson K, Grenny J, McMillan R, Switzler A, Covey SR, Roppé L. Crucial conversations. Brilliance Audio; 2012.
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