Clapcast 10: A Clapcast of Ghosts

Transcriber: Cy @vlasdygoth

DRE: "Anthony Curcio, former armored car robber who now speaks to students about choices, joins David and discusses incredible robbery of an armored car that led to a six year prison sentence and how he became an activist who speaks to students around the country."

KEITH: Don't get caught!

AUSTIN: Yeah, don't get caught, that's my lesson.

JANINE: [cross] Six years isn't that bad.

AUSTIN: My lesson is don't get caught.

DRE: Yeah, for like, 400k?

AUSTIN: I'm sure he had to give that back; I'm sure they found that, right?

DRE: I mean, probably.

JANINE: Well yeah, six years isn't that bad if you're good at hiding things.

[Austin laughs]

KEITH: I can't believe they fined that guy who didn't go to work 30,000 dollars.

AUSTIN: Oh, I'm so mad about that, that poor guy.

KEITH: Isn't that- doesn't that suck?

AUSTIN: [cross] Yeah…

KEITH: Like, it was someone's job to fire him for not showing up!

AUSTIN: Right. He should get fired, that's fine, that's fine.

JANINE: Yeah…

KEITH: He should get fire— Yeah, of course he— he stopped going! He should get fired!

AUSTIN: [cross] He should've gotten fired—

KEITH: But, he should keep all the money that they were paying him!

DRE: 29 years ago!

AUSTIN: [cross] Yeah, whatever.

JANINE: [cross] If it wasn't okay,why did you keep paying me?

AUSTIN: Exactly!

JANINE: Why did no one talk to me about it?

KEITH: [cross] Oh, man.

AUSTIN: Also—

JANINE: I assumed my behavior as a worker was totally acceptable as it never came up.

AUSTIN: Also, why did I get an award?

KEITH: [laughing] Yeah! They gave an award— !

JANINE: [cross] God.

KEITH: Yeah, like—

SYLVIA: Hey, wait!

KEITH: They were so bad at knowing that he wasn't supposed to be still working there, they were giving him an award!

AUSTIN: We should— we should set this up, man skipped work for six years, and no one noticed until he won an award. Which is just an incredible headline—

KEITH: [cross] Yeah.

AUSTIN: Shoutouts to whoever wrote that headline, um, I won— quote, this is the, the deck, the- the subhead: "I wondered whether he was still working there. Had he retired? Had he died? But the payroll showed he was still receiving a salary."

KEITH: And then I, I like this part too. It's kinda sad, but it's "Garcia's attorney speaking on his behalf reportedly blamed bullying in his workplace for his absence. He also said there was no work to do."

[Austin and Keith laugh]

DRE: [cross] Big mood.

KEITH: "People— people close to Garcia told El Mundo that he had dedicated himself to reading philosophy instead, and that he did not report the bullying out of fear that he could be fired."

AUSTIN: Oh my god…

DRE: Big fuckin' mood.

[Keith sighs]

AUSTIN: Yeah, right?

KEITH: I know, right?

AUSTIN: God. Ugh. The, the thing here is he did basically like, 30— 37,000 euros was what he was fined. Or wait no, 27,000 is what he was fined, but that amounts to less than one year of his annual 37,000 salary?

KEITH: 40— 47,000 salary?

AUSTIN: This is saying 37,000 euros.

KEITH: Oh, ok.

AUSTIN: So maybe it was 47,000 USD or something.

KEITH: US— yeah, yeah.

JANINE: I mean he's not still getting that salary though, so….

AUSTIN: No, but he got it for the last six years!

KEITH: He got it for six years in a row without doing work.

JANINE: He lived on it, I'm sure.

KEITH: Yeah.

JANINE: I'm sure—

AUSTIN: Oh, right. I guess he wasn’t-

JANINE: What I'm saying is I'm sure he doesn't have like a ton of money sitting around, and also now who the fuck is gonna hire him?

KEITH: Yeah.

AUSTIN: Well, he's read a lot of philosophy, so take it from me, he's gonna be golden.

JANINE: [sarcastic] Oh, yeah, that's how that works.

[Keith laughs]

AUSTIN: Start an actual play podcast! Fuckin'--

JANINE: Join Giant Bomb.

AUSTIN: Join Giant— yeah, that's all. NBD.

KEITH: Giant Bomb Spain.

AUSTIN: [laughs] Alright, we should uh, we should start playing—

KEITH: Giant Bomb, Giant Bomb East, Giant Bomb Further East.

AUSTIN: Further— so far east we call it the west. Um, alright, we should play.

SYLVIA: Just really quickly before we start I wanna confirm that the Elvis impersonator in that Big Daddy's picture is not the guy, the Elvis impersonator who runs for office here every time he can—

AUSTIN: You know, I appreciate it.

SYLVIA: With a picture of him in his Elvis impersonation costume as his uh, campaign poster.

DRE: Oh.

AUSTIN: Good. Great, I'm glad that we have that clear—

SYLVIA: [cross] I just wanted to make sure.

KEITH: [cross] Is he getting any closer to winning, by the way?

SYLVIA: Uh, no? No, it seems to be the opposite, usually.

KEITH: Really, people are getting, so people aren't like, ‘Man, we should probably give this Elvis guy a shot, at least!’

AUSTIN: Give him a— let him try, y'know?

KEITH: Yeah.

SYLVIA: I think he's a reverend, so like, he's fine. He can do that.

JANINE: He's not on drugs, probably, so that's…

SYLVIA: Mm.

AUSTIN: [cross] Is— is he a—

KEITH: [cross] He's an Elvis impersonation that can like, do— perform the sacrament of communion?

SYLVIA: Yeah.

KEITH: Cool.

AUSTIN: Does he work out of the strip club on Sundays?

SYLVIA: Fuck, I wish.

[Keith laughs] 

AUSTIN: Is that not- that's not the whole thing?

JANINE: No one commutes from that area to Guelph; it's the other way around a hundred percent.

SYLVIA: [cross] Yeah.

AUSTIN: Okay! I didn't know! Good to know! Alright.

SYLVIA: Alright.

AUSTIN: Um, let's time.is.

JANINE: Annie's in here, by the way, but she's napping, so it should be okay.

AUSTIN: Aw, Annie.

DRE: Yeah, I've got, I've got two dogs here, 'cause I'm dog sitting.

AUSTIN: [cross] Hell yeah.

JANINE: [cross] I didn't wanna like— I didn't wanna like, wake her up and then like, shove her out. It just seemed mean.

DRE: Oh, what's our time?

AUSTIN: Let's do uh… five after? Does that work?

DRE: Okay.

SYLVIA: Mhm.

AUSTIN: Okay.

[clap]

AUSTIN: Okay. [sighs]

KEITH: No comment.

AUSTIN: Yeah, y'know, it was close enough, y'know? I don't really have much there. Much to add.

[transition music]

[4:32]

AUSTIN: We'll take a break. We'll take a five minute break, and then we'll come back.

SYLVIA: I'm gonna look and see how bad this WWE show's been.

AUSTIN: Oh, I bet it's been bad.

SYLVIA: [cross] Well, Randy Orton won the US title, so yeah.

KEITH: [cross] I've never heard anyone say anything good about it, so…

AUSTIN: Wait, what was that about Orton?

SYLVIA: Randy Orton won the US title. So yeah, it's been pretty bad!

AUSTIN: Oh my god.

[Sylvia sighs]

KEITH: I just, I feel like everybody that I know loves wrestling and, just like spends all of their day being mad that they watched WWE.

SYLVIA: I stopped watching WWE. I just keep up with it 'cause my friends talk about it. But I don't watch it anymore 'cause it's been so bad.

AUSTIN: Yeah.

DRE: I don't think I've— yeah, I don't think I've watched any WWE in like… eight months or something?

SYLVIA: Like, it's- it's… really weird because this is usually the time of the year where they at least make an effort.

AUSTIN: Right, 'cause they're pushing for the…

SYLVIA: Wrestlemania!

AUSTIN: Wresltemania, yeah.

SYLVIA: But it's- it's been dead…

KEITH: It- I- Is the—

DRE: Oh yeah, you gotta point at that sign.

AUSTIN: Gotta point at the sign.

SYLVIA: Oh my god.

KEITH: Is it— now people don't like Wresltemania, right?

SYLVIA: Well…

AUSTIN: No, it's an event.

KEITH: Or like, it's not the best show; there's a different show that's the best one?

DRE: Hm…

KEITH: What am I thinking of?

SYLVIA: It depends on who you ask. Twitter really likes Wrestle Kingdom. I'm part of that. I like that one! But that's a different company.

DRE: So, like, I think Wrestlemania is…  I mean it is like the Superbowl of wrestling? So like, the Superbowl is usually…, I would say it's rarely the best like, game of professional football that has happened the whole season.

AUSTIN: [cross] Yeah.

DRE: But it just- because it feels bigger…

AUSTIN: You feel like you have to watch it? Or like, it's an event on its own.

SYLVIA: It also has— It has way more company PR happening on the actual show.

AUSTIN: [cross] Yes, yes.

KEITH: I just- I heard- I don't know when or where I heard this, but I heard someone say, it might've been- Sylvia^[1], it might've been you and Art talking…

SYLVIA: Maybe.

KEITH: Someone say that um, like there was an event that was like, usually the best WWE event of the year, and that it wasn't Wrestlemania, it was some other event. The specifics—

SYLVIA: Uh, SummerSlam is usually more interesting—

KEITH: [cross] That's what it was, was SummerSlam.

DRE: [cross] Yeah.

SYLVIA: 'Cause they actually book that for wrestling fans.

AUSTIN: Yeah.

SYLVIA: That's usually when like, the big stuff happens. That people don't expect. Like, that's like Daniel Bryan won the world title there the first time.

DRE: Mm.

AUSTIN: Right, right. Right.

KEITH: Is there enough wrestling to watch when it— without watching WWE?

AUSTIN: Yeah.

SYLVIA: Oh, dude—

KEITH: Okay.

AUSTIN: There's a ton.

SYLVIA: There's still too much! [laughs]

DRE: I mean, you could go watch Billy Corgan wrestling.

AUSTIN: No, you couldn't. You're not allowed, if you wanna be part of this show.

DRE: [laughs] What's the name of his company now? Is it not—

SYLVIA: He owns the NWA!

DRE: Okay.

SYLVIA: Which is like the, that's—

DRE: Which is not T and A? That's different?

SYLVIA: No, that's like the original fuckin' like- that was like, Ric Flair was the NWA champion.

AUSTIN: [cross] Ric Flair's— yeah. Like, the Four Horsemen, that like...

SYLVIA: Yeah.

DRE: Fuckin' also, I can't believe they're- Yeah, okay. When did—

KEITH: Wait. Hold on.

DRE: When did NWA the wrestling group start?

AUSTIN: Oh, before, before—

SYLVIA: Oh, you mean the DDT idol group? Or do you mean a different…?

AUSTIN: Before the, before, before, before the rap group. Well before the rap group.

DRE: Okay.

KEITH: I'm sorry, I—

SYLVIA: Before the rap group, yeah.

KEITH: Are we talking about the same Billy Corgan?

AUSTIN: Yes.

SYLVIA: Yes!

AUSTIN: A hundred percent.

DRE: Yes! Oh, god, yeah, Keith. Uh huh!

AUSTIN: We don't have time.

SYLVIA: We don't have time at all, we don't!

AUSTIN: It's bad. It is bad. You should google Billy Corgan.

SYLVIA: [laughing] We'll save this for the next Bluff City.

KEITH: [cross] Holy shit. Bi— "William Patrick Corgan Jr. is an American musician, songwriter, producer, poet, and professional wrestling magnate!"

AUSTIN: Mhm!

DRE: Yeah, he also like, goes on Infowars every once in a while now.

SYLVIA: [cross] Fuckin' piece of shit.

AUSTIN: [cross] Yeah, he's also just a piece of shit, yeah.

KEITH: Really?

SYLVIA: He's the fuckin' scum of the Earth.

AUSTIN: Yeah, he got- he got real bad, dude.

KEITH: That sucks. Man…

AUSTIN: It got real bad. It's a bummer.

KEITH: What am I gonna do with the— three quarters of one Smashing Pumpkins album that I really like!?

AUSTIN: I- yeah.

[transition music]

[8:21]

KEITH: [cross]  Um… [babbles]

SYLVIA: [sighs] I'm so glad I got a good roll.

AUSTIN: Yeah, a six on that study, that ain't bad.

KEITH: [hums] This sounds bad. Ali, you're not gonna be able to hear why this sounds so bad. Uh… I'm trying… The echo is all wrong in my ears? I need to fix the echo in my head…

AUSTIN: According to some quick back of the envelope math, Jeff, Jeff Bezos, Bee-zos? Bezos? Bee-zos. Jeff Bezos'—

JANINE: Bezus.

AUSTIN: Bee-zoos, Bezus. Jeff Bezos' fortune has been—

DRE: Beezlegoose.

AUSTIN: Has been— Beezlegoose! Fortune has been increasing by roughly 231,000 dollars—

KEITH: Jeff Beezer!

AUSTIN: 231,000 dollars per minute in 2018. So, every minute Bezos has made roughly four times what the average American worker makes in a year.

DRE: Cool.

[Keith sings a short tune]

SYLVIA: So, we've gotta stop time, then?

KEITH: Hey, hello.

AUSTIN: That'd be great.

SYLVIA: Oh god, honestly though, fuck that guy.

KEITH: Hello… He- he—

AUSTIN: Billionaires should be illegal.

SYLVIA: Yep!

AUSTIN: Okay.

[Keith continues making short noises]

AUSTIN: How's it going, Keith?

[Keith sings another short tune, clicks his tongue]

JANINE: Bad?

AUSTIN: I guess bad.

KEITH: Hey, no, I'm back. Hello.

AUSTIN: Okay, welcome back!

KEITH: Uh, the- my voice in my head was slightly off? Like, it was slightly- slightly delayed?

AUSTIN: Oh, that's bad.

KEITH: So, everything I was saying was like, sort of echo-y? And I-

AUSTIN: Yeah, that sucks.

KEITH: -think that the thing I needed to fix it is a different audio driver, so I'm just gonna do it later.

AUSTIN: Okay!

KEITH: I shut it off.

AUSTIN: Okay. So what's the one thing Gig wants to do?

[transition music]

[10:00]

AUSTIN: Alright. It sounds like that's at least the first start of the play.

KEITH: Yeah. Whatcha eatin'?

AUSTIN: I got a donut. It's nice.

SYLVIA: Oh fuck, nice.

KEITH: What kinda donut?

AUSTIN: Just a glazed, y'know?

KEITH: Glazed?

AUSTIN: Keepin' it- keepin' it simple.

JANINE: Like, old fashioned glaze or is it like, yeasty?

AUSTIN: No, it's like- it's just like, a regular one.

JANINE: Is it cakey or yeasty?

AUSTIN: It's yeasty. I guess. I don't know that that's how I've ever hard a donut be described.

DRE: [cross] Oh, it's yeasty season!

KEITH: Yeasty…

JANINE: No like- like, a yeast- I think this is the case- a yeast donut is like one of those like- a big puffy one, but a cake donut is like more of an old fashioned.

AUSTIN: [cross] Yeah, it's puffy. Yeah, no, yes. It is yeast— it is a yeast donut.

KEITH: Okay, so this is like a- like a Dunkin' Donuts glazed donut.

AUSTIN: This is a Dunkin' Donuts glazed donut; that's what I'm having.

KEITH: It literally is Dunkin' Donuts glazed donut?

AUSTIN: It literally is, yeah. I like a cake— I like an old fashioned glazed cake donut a lot, but that's not what they had.

KEITH: I even like a regular old fashioned. I know a lot of people that are like, ‘A plain donut, what?’

AUSTIN: [cross] Me too! Regular old fashioned—

JANINE: [cross] I like a sour cream, yeah.

KEITH: Sour cream, what? Donut?

AUSTIN: That's not a thing we have here. That's not…

KEITH: Yeah, we don't… I've never even heard of that.

JANINE: [cross] Sour cream donut. It's like, it's- it's sort of like a donut that looks kind of like it's split around the middle.

SYLVIA: [sighs] Sour cream donuts rule.

KEITH: [cross] I’m lookin’ and I still- I still don't know what you mean.

JANINE: Yeah, sour cream— they're very, they're very sweet and dense and moist.

AUSTIN: What do you mean they're split in the middle?

KEITH: Yeah, I don't know what that means.

JANINE: Like, they're a ring, but they look like there is um, sort of a valley and two raised edges around that ring.

AUSTIN: Oh, I see it, this just is like an old fashioned glazed, right?

JANINE: Yeah.

AUSTIN: What's the, what's…

KEITH: Oh, I have— this looks like a…

AUSTIN: This looks great!

JANINE: Yeah.

KEITH: I"ve seen these called um… french glazed? Is what I've seen this called? I think?

JANINE: Huh.

AUSTIN: This looks good. Anyway.

KEITH: This does look… yeah.

AUSTIN: I finished my donut.

KEITH: Nice. These are good, I've had these before. They have these at Dunkin' Donuts.

AUSTIN: Do they? Not mine.

KEITH: They do. Yeah, yeah.

AUSTIN: Anyway, you live in Boston. You get the good ones.

KEITH: I live in Rhode Island now.

AUSTIN: Oh, well. I don't know.

KEITH: It's the same area, but Rhode Island is basically a suburb of Boston.

AUSTIN: Oh my god. Don't— okay.

KEITH: No, it's super- I mean it's like— it's literally like, a forty minute train ride away from.

AUSTIN: Mhm. So, who's doing what during this, this… leg work situation? Leg work period.

[transition music]

[12:02]

JACK: I hate audio so much.

ALI: [laughs] We should all write books.

JACK: We should all write books? Yeah, exactly! [laughs] We should just…

AUSTIN: Yeah. Open the first page, welcome to Friends at the Table! [laughter] An actual— an actual play book.

ALI: Actual play books…

JACK: Oh, god.

AUSTIN: Mhm.

JACK: Actual play books are… oh god.

ALI: They already do that- don't they do that with…

JACK: Like choose your own adventure?

ALI: They do that with like, Warhammer stuff, right? I remember being at like, a PAX with [Shawn/Sean]--

AUSTIN: Yeah.

ALI: And he was reading one of the Warhammer magazines, and it was like "Turn one, this guy moved to the south."

AUSTIN: [cross] Oh, really?

JACK: [cross] Wait, really?  Oh my god.

AUSTIN: [cross] Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah- like after actual report style. Yeah totally, totally.

ALI: Yeah.

JACK: [cross] That's great.

AUSTIN: Because like, actual play has like, a very similar— The history of actual play, like the history of let's play used to be text based, right?

ALI: Yeah.

AUSTIN: And so like, an actual play post was one that was written up about actual play. And was very much like an after action report, which is what wargaming people did.

ALI: Right.

JACK: This makes—

AUSTIN: Which is the same type of thing, but like, totally like, leaned all the way in to like… Commander So-and-so did such-and-such. HI!

JACK: Hey.

AUSTIN: What was it?

JACK: Oh…

[laughter]

AUSTIN: Wait, what?

ALI: What happened?

AUSTIN: Yes, yeah. There you go. Gotcha. Gotcha gotcha, gotcha gotcha.

JACK: Okay.

AUSTIN: Alright! Well, we're good. We're good to- we're ready to go, I guess.

ART: I think we've pleased the- the demons of computer problems.

AUSTIN: Uh huh! How does your file look?

ART: Do I sound okay? I look— I look right, but if I don't sound right…

AUSTIN: You sound right.

JACK: Yeah, you sound fine to me, yeah.

AUSTIN: You sound good.

ART: Alright.

AUSTIN: You're still like, a little bit quiet for me, but I can just turn you up.

ART: Alright. 'Cause yeah,  I'm well within the fives.

AUSTIN: Ready to clap.

ALI: Oh, we gotta do that.

AUSTIN: We gotta do that.

ALI: [laughs] We haven't even done any of the stuff!

AUSTIN: We've done no stuff yet, it's true. Zero stuff.

[Jack laughs]

ALI: Oh boy.

JACK: We got a mixer working.

ALI: This is true.

AUSTIN: We did— That's true. That's true! That's true. We did get a mixer working.

ALI: Thirty?

AUSTIN: Yeah.

[claps, one later than the rest]

AUSTIN: It is world backup day! Today.

JACK: Yeah, I heard about that.

ART: From somewhere other than time.is, or just like?

AUSTIN: No, on— [laughs] uh, worldbackupday.com says "Don't be an April fool, be prepared! Backup your files on March 31st."

ALI: Oh!

AUSTIN: That's good.

ART: They're- they're workin' it.

AUSTIN: Who do you think runs this? Which hardware company?

JACK: Amazon.

AUSTIN: You think it's Amazon?

ALI: Um… what's the one… C-gate?

AUSTIN: Yeah, you think it's that? Yeah, that makes sense.  Uh… it doesn't seem to be… let me check their FAQ. One of the FAQs should be ‘who the fuck are you?’ ‘Hey, who's payin' for this?’

ALI: About…

AUSTIN: I checked for that, and… I don't, I don't see anything! Check for a legal page.

ALI: Maybe— maybe it's- who's Sam…?

AUSTIN: I don't know who that is— Oh, good question though. I bet if you— that's well- it's like a site design, right?

JACK: Oh, world backup day and the globe and arrow are registered trademarks of 614A Limited.

AUSTIN: Okay.

JACK: What the fuck are they.

AUSTIN: Here we go.

JACK: Let's see.

[Ali laughs]

AUSTIN: This is 6—

JACK: 614…

AUSTIN: Uh huh… this is a weird…

JACK: This is the 614A, they are… brand developers?

AUSTIN: "614A is here. If you're looking to kickstart a new project, research new opportunities, or develop a brand, 614A can help! We help take your projects to the next level from the initial stages of a project, discovery, research, prototyping, all the way to branding and launch." [reading links] Select public projects, world backup day. This is the Countdown, which is an Ubuntu alternate reality game, Master of Math—

JACK: Oh, it's me!

AUSTIN: It's you, the math master. Uh, Yusufco, Study Deck, uh, and then they have one of their— here's one of their- their projects, Net Neutrality! [Jack laughs] I don't think you can just say that's yours!

JACK: Is there wind howling on someone's recording, or like an owl or something?

AUSTIN: Or a cat?

ALI: That might be me?

AUSTIN: Do you have a cat that's howling?

ALI: It's windy. No, it's windy. It's windy out here.

AUSTIN: Oh. It's you.

JACK: It's a good— It's a good atmospheric sound.

AUSTIN: It is!

ALI: If you can hear it, I should probably close…

[transition music]

[16:26]

AUSTIN: One second sorry. I just am looking for a name, and I don't know where it went to… there it is.

[honking]

JANINE: That's a great name.

KEITH: Oh! Roti-matic, the world's first fully automated flatbread maker!

SYLVIA: Mm!

JANINE: Why's it called Roto-matic?

KEITH: I…

JANINE: Is that like a… that's not a kind of bread, right? Like-

KEITH: Don't… I don't know. Roti-matic… Oh, I guess, it is the… a roti is the- is a type of flat- is an Indian flatbread. That makes sense.

JANINE: Oh, okay. Is it, ‘i’?

KEITH: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah.

JANINE: Okay. Okay... That makes sense, then.

KEITH: Mhm.

JANINE: I thought you’d said roto-matic? Like, it was like a rotor?

KEITH: Oh, no, no it's just a…

JANINE: And like I thought they'd named it after the actual like… mechanical components? Which is incredibly appetizing.

KEITH: Roti— pizza, remote control, gluten free, millet flour. Tortilla.

JANINE: [cross] Remote cont— oh. The- the machine is remote control.

SYLVIA: Yeah, I was like, ‘the pizza?’

KEITH: Pita, chickpea flour, be in control.

JANINE: Remote controlled pizza!

KEITH: This is a- this is a time.is ad that I saw.

JANINE: You have ads on time.is?

KEITH: Yeah, I don't remember it. Maybe they decided we finally gotta capitalize on this Friends at the Table traffic.

AUSTIN: Yeah, no that we've— yeah, yeah exactly. Mhm. Alright.

JANINE: Oh, I can share time.is on linkedin.

SYLVIA: Ooh!

DRE: Oh!

[Keith laughs]

AUSTIN: You gotta share something on Linkedin, right? So.

JANINE: Or Pinterest!

KEITH: And Pinterest!

JANINE: Who the fuck- what pinboard? Here's a clock, also here's all these wedding dresses.

KEITH: [laughs] Here's my moodboard of different 7:30s!

AUSTIN: You've found my— you've found my pinboard, finally. People wanted to know. I love clocks that much, y'know?

SYLVIA: Goddammit.

[laughter]

AUSTIN: Um, alright. You wanna clap at… 50?

JANINE: Mhm.

KEITH: Yep.

[claps]

AUSTIN: Okay. I think that was alright.

KEITH: Yeah, sounded sick.

AUSTIN: Like, good sick, though.

KEITH: Yeah, good sick.

AUSTIN: Gotcha.

KEITH: Wicked. It sounded fuckin' wicked.

JANINE: Sick like sick- sync. Synced.

AUSTIN: Mm. That's a stretch. [Keith laughs] I can't knock the hustle, like, I appreciate it, but.

KEITH: Wicked synced.

AUSTIN: Okay. Hm. Drink some water, alright.

[transition music]

[18:54]

AUSTIN: Yeah. We're in it. We're in some shit right now. Let's time.is.

DRE: I'm excited for the axiom of every moment of my personal waking life.

AUSTIN: [laughs] Yeah, it's great! It's so good, isn't it? [Janine groans] It's fantastic. I love it!

[Dre laughs]

SYLVIA: Finally, we've got some personified anxiety!

AUSTIN: Uh huh!

DRE: Yeah!

AUSTIN: Finally, finally something in Friends at the Table is a way for us to think about our own personal crises, it's great!

SYLVIA: [sarcastic] Weird, who would ever do that!

AUSTIN: [sarcastic] I don't know! Uh, 25 seconds?

DRE: Sure.

JANINE: Yeah.

SYLVIA: Yeah.

[clap]

SYLVIA: I was a little early.

DRE: I was—

AUSTIN: I was a little late.

DRE: I was also maybe a little late.

AUSTIN: Let's do 35 just in case.

DRE: Okay.

[clap]

SYLVIA: Much better.

AUSTIN: That was way better, yeah.

KEITH: That did sound a lot better to me.

[transition music]

[19:45]

AUSTIN: Clear.

JACK: Nice!

KEITH: Clear.

JACK: Oh, it was good!

AUSTIN: Oh yeah, it was a good one.

KEITH: Are we doing a second clap?

AUSTIN: Uh…

JACK: Oh, we should right?

AUSTIN: Yeah, we should. We should.

KEITH: 40?

AUSTIN: Yeah, 40.

JACK: Oh wait, I don't have it open. Holy lord let me- no, wait, wait, wait— wait, wait, no, wait, wait, wait, no wait—

KEITH: 45.

[two distinct claps]

JACK: Oh, I didn't clap because I thought it was gonna be told off for doing the joke clap!

AUSTIN: 45.

[claps]

KEITH: That was bad! That was—

AUSTIN: It's still 45 for me, 50!

[three distinct claps]

[Keith laughs]

[Austin sighs]

KEITH: These all seem really bad; someone's off their game today!

ART: How about 05?

KEITH: Okay.

AUSTIN: 05? I already closed it— yeah, 05 is fine.

[clap]

AUSTIN: It sounded good to me.

KEITH: That did, that sounded good. Thank god for reopen close tab.

AUSTIN: Uh huh! Alright everybody, have a good night!

[transition music]

[20:39]

ALI: Like, um… I'm trying not to get distracted by Twitter or whatever, so I… put on a… uh, 8 hour video… of birds chirping.

AUSTIN: Ooh!

ALI: And… [laughs]

JACK: Oh my god.

ALI: Like, it's like, a gar— it's for cats. And— [laughs] It's like a tree stump with birdseed on it and just a recording of the birds, you know, hoppin' around there!

JACK: What's the name of this video?

ALI: It's Entertainment Videos For Cats -dash- Birds Chirping On A Garden Log, 8 Hours! By Paul Dinning on Youtube.com.

JACK: Birds… chirping on a… garden log.

ALI: Garden log, yeah.

JACK: Now, we can't— oh! Now we can't sync up the videos here 'cause otherwise we'll just- a bird will show up and you'll just hear both of us go— [gasps] [Ali laughs] It's 8 hours long…

ALI: Really what's been happening is that I have been having it in a different tab, forgetting it's there and then like, hearing a really loud bird and being like, ‘wait, what?’ [laughs]

JACK: Oh, I have it muted just to look at. Oh, it's—

ALI: Okay, yeah. I have it very low.

JACK: This is such a good idea.

ALI: It works for cats. I don't know! [laughs] If you skip to— no, we don't have to sync this up.

JACK: No, let's just sync it up briefly. While we're on break.

ALI: Okay!

JACK: And then I'll jump ahead. There's eight hours of this.

ALI: Do you wanna— yeah, do you both wanna- we can both go to two hours, exactly.

JACK: Okay, two hours exactly. Uh, right. I'm basically there.

ALI: Okay. Same.

JACK: Oh! That's- that bird has a— oh, it left.

ALI: Yeah, they- they just come and go! And there's the breeze…

JACK: That ivy in the background…

ALI: Uh huh!

JACK: Oh, that's a beautiful bird.

ALI: [laughs] I like how they like, come grab a seed, and then they go. They grab the seed, and then they go.

JACK: Yeah.

ALI: I like that green one.

JACK: I've got flux on, so all these birds… [Ali laughs] are similar sort of colors. [gasps] There's a bit of a chase happening there!

[Ali gasps]

[outro music]