Dear Skye,

A few years ago when we started seriously considering getting married, we sat down and had a 'meeting'. We talked about why we should get married and what marriage means to us. That has been one of the most important conversations of my life, as you may imagine. This is what I got from that Meeting:

Marriage is a way to pronounce to the world that we were going steady. That we were very very very serious about how steady we were going and in fact would do all that it takes to have this always be the case.

Marriage is a way that our families would be able to get together to annoy each other, be in each others business, support and love each other and throw awesome parties.

Marriage is a way that we make a commitment to ourselves and our community that we were choosing to navigate the world as a team for the rest of our lives

I am glad we had that conversation (and all the others that have followed since). I am mostly glad that after 7 years and numerous dramatic life episodes, that conversation has lead to this day.

Skye, You don't fit the prescribed labels for me: Nigerian-Igbo, Catholic, Rich Doctor, Swaggerific. But you fit the ones that matter: Honest, Patient, Kind, Strong & Creative.

These are virtues that I and other people struggle with daily, but you somehow manage to embody so easily and effortlessly. I am not hinting at perfection or any such thing but I appreciate the starting point. There are so many adjectives that I could use, but for the sake of brevity and decency I would like to focus on these

Skye Bender-deMoll

It is possible that you are the most Honest person I know, sometimes a little too honest for this Nigerian. You are honest because that is just how you know how to be. You are honest without being disparaging, or rude, or aggressive or hurtful. You speak your truth with Kindness, openness and frankness and I really have just been in awe since the first time .

I don't know if you are the most Patient person I know, but I do know this: That the patience that you exercise regularly when it comes to dealing with me and all the friends and family I come with is stellar. Actually, I would go as far in fact to say that, it is possibly award winning, and maybe we should in fact put up a trophy for you on our nonexistent mantle.

You are Strong. Yes like lifting heavy boxes strong. But more importantly emotionally strong. You cry. You listen. You deal. You forgive.

You are Kind-hearted. You care about me, your child and everyone else attached to us without hesitation or questions. You go all the way to show love, without judgment or a need to receive anything in return.

I must say that I am slightly envious, but mostly inspired and proud by how naturally Creative, Intelligent and Resourceful you are. From your approach to solving problems and conflicts to creating beautiful and functional things from wood, wire, fabric, air, dysfunctional disco balls. If we ever get lost in the wild, I know we'd be able to work together to create shelter, food, all the while planning and then throwing an earth shattering party with 300 of our closest animal friends.

There's one more very important one, I almost forgot

You're damn Sexy when you're not trying to be, or maybe you are. I don't know. But it works. For me. You are sensual, sweet and sometimes even smooth with it. I am really excited at where this could go with this as we get older.

I am happy we had that conversation and have decided to do this. The possibilities are endless...

I am excited to join our various worlds to fight, love and play together. I am delighted to raise children with you in collaboration with our families and the world. I am looking forward to exploring various places with you whether by traveling, seeing art or meeting new people. I am juiced about creating art, music, food, experiences and whatever else we conjure. Grudgingly and secretly, I look forward to sleeping under the stars, walking and talking in the woods or on the beach and jumping locked gates at 2am in the morning while conquering two of my biggest fears: the fear of heights and the fear of peeing myself because I am afraid. Also curling up on the couch and watching marathons of internet television shows. I am psyched about arguing, I mean, discussing the complexities of race, culture, gender, sex, age, the earth, God and not giving up when it feels hard but working together to live as we would like the world to be. I build spirituality and God in us so that we can prioritize the virtues that keep our souls alive

These are the things I have a hard time expressing to you daily, amidst work, family and friends, our child, the evil internet. But these are things that I want you to know are always true about how I feel about you.

Skye Bender-deMoll

I have chosen you to be the first human being in my life, my co-everything as I navigate the world;

to have your back when you need me to, to listen to you without judgment, to talk to you with honesty and kindness at the forefront, to care for you when you well and unwell, to roll my eyes at your corny jokes, to make even more possibly amazing children with. And I hope this will be the case for a very long time, because as of today, I can not imagine it being any different.

I want to say this in front of everyone that I am committing to continuing this journey that we have already begun.

I love you and I am over the moon to be your wife