Alternatives and Substitutes for Appropriative or Problematic Language
Table of Contents:
Context for this document:
This document was originally created for a Facebook group where non-Black people consistently appropriated Black English, also known as AAVE (African American Vernacular English), and used casual ableism and gendered terms. This resource was intended to reduce the amount of labor that the group admins had to engage in, especially those who were affected by the use or misuse of these terms.
This list is co-created and heavily contributed to by Black people, non-Black people of color, disabled people, neurodivergent people, and trans, gnc (gender non-conforming), and gender non-binary people.
This is not an exhaustive list.
If you would like to add/remove a term or change something, please add a comment on the commentable doc linked in the header and we will review it as soon as we can. However, this doc is not regularly monitored. If something needs to be changed or added right away, please contact the current active mod via messenger.
On claiming and reclaiming words.
If you are part of a marginalized group, feel free to reclaim and use terms targeted or applicable to you. For example, if you are neurodivergent, specifically bipolar, feel free to reclaim “cr*zy.” If you are Black, feel free to learn/use Black English if you don’t already.
When in doubt, don’t.
If you are unsure of how to substitute a word, or if you don’t know if the word is problematic (e.g., appropriating AAVE or is casually ableist), err on the side of caution and perhaps try not to use it. When in doubt, don’t.
On the term AAVE.
The term AAVE (African American Vernacular English) uses a colonial term (African American) to refer to Black people, which many Black people do not identify with for varying reasons. However, this dialect is most commonly recognized by the term AAVE, so we have included both terms.
Probably should mention Ebonics. Ebonics is a community-coined term [ebony + phonics] that was meant to refer specifically to the study of the linguistic consequences of the slave trade. So Black English and Ebonics don’t mean the same thing, but the study of slave-descended Englishes [Black English, Jamaican English, etc] is Ebonics.
Coined by Dr. Robert Williams: “[ebonics is the] …linguistic and paralinguistic features which on a concentric continuum represent the communicative competence of the West African, Caribbean, and United States slave descendant of African origin. (Williams, 1975)”
What is “performing AAVE”?
Please note that AAVE (African American Vernacular English) is a dialect that includes more than just terms, but also phrases, tone, and context. Some terms, like “petty” or “y’all” may be used in certain contexts, but be mindful of the context in which you normally use these terms. Think about why you feel compelled to use this term instead of a substitute and what image you are trying to convey.
“People should be mindful of appropriating the rhythm of AAVE. It has a rhythm that differs significantly from that of other Englishes, and people tend to use the rhythm as a punchline or to seem more street savvy. Everyone knows the rhythm because everyone associates it with Blackness.” -JR Littlejohn
See this link regarding performing AAVE.
Many of these terms come from the following links: here and here.
Word/Phrase | Alternatives | Context | Examples |
👏 clapping 👏emojis 👏 between 👏 words 👏 is 👏 appropriative👏 | Just say what you are trying to say. Exclamation points!! Capitalizing Every Single First Letter | Visual representation of AAVE performance (i.e. clapping between words to emphasize a point) | |
____ game on point, on point, on fleek, fleek | Perfect, perf, perfection, well done, amazing, without flaw, flawless | Term used by African American women, popularized by Peaches Monroee | “Wow Stephanie, your eyeliner is perf like so perf like omg STEPHANIE!” |
100, keepin’ it 100, one hunnit, one hunned, 💯 emoji (depending on the intended meaning), etc., 10s | Honest, completely honest, sincere, straightforward, speaking one’s mind, real | Shortening of “one hundred percent real” or “honest”, spoken with a Southern American or AAVE accent. The 💯 emoji is also AAVE if you mean it in the way discussed here. But if you mean it as “good job!” or something similar, that is fine. Also Tweet by @RMDavison | “I’m just being honest.” “I want to address this issues as straightforwardly as possible.” “Let’s be real for a sec…” |
-ass (at the end of an adjective) | Super ___, very____, extremely ____ These kinds of suffixes used to emphasize emotion are usually derived from AAVE. Just drop the -ass and continue with your sentence. | Used when emphasizing emotion, e.g. “This is a cool-ass song!” or “It’s a hot-ass day outside.” | “This is a very cool song!” “It’s a super hot day outside.” |
Ain’t (depends on the context and the persona trying to be portrayed -- are you imitating a Black woman/person?) | In AAVE, ain’t can replace a lot more than just isn’t, are not, or am not. Example: “I ain’t done that shit.” (Ain’t replaced didn’t) | ||
About that, here for this/that | Support, enjoy, or any variation, loving this/that | Used when expressing immense joy or support | “I support ____’s work.” “I really enjoy _____’s art.” |
AF, af, as fuck | Super ___, really ____, extremely ____, so, beyond | Used for emphasis, similarly to “-ass”. E.g., “I’m tired af right now.” “I’m hungry as fuck right now.” | “I’m so tired right now.” |
Bae, boo | Other endearment terms, such as: babe, beb, sweetie, love, honey, etc. | Used as a term of endearment | “They are my beb!” |
Basic | Boring, unoriginal, bland | Often used as an insult, to describe how unoriginal or boring the other person is | “Your shirt’s as bland as a glass of unseasoned evaporated water.” |
Bawdy | body | ||
Be (habitual use, e.g. “They be killin’ it!”) | Is, are, am, are always, have been | “Wow, they are amazing.” “Wow, you rocked!” | |
Been (“I been knew that!”) | Used to indicate knowledge/skills/whatever condition has existed for a long ass time. | ||
Beat, beat your face, beat for the gods | Glammed up | ||
Biiiiiitch | |||
Boi, gurl, etc. | See 3. Gendered/Transantagonistic Terms | ||
Bomb | Cool, great, other related variations | Used to emphasize something positively. E.g., “The food was bomb!” | “The music festival was so great!” |
Boss | Cool, great, other related variations | Used to emphasize something positively | “The music festival was so great!” |
Bruh | Friend, buddy, bud, etc. See 3. Gendered/Transantagonistic Terms | Used to refer to someone (usually a friend), often regardless of gender, but is androcentric Bruh refers to a situation almost more than a person. When something wild happens, we'll say 'bruh,' more to ourselves than to another person. | |
Catch these hands | Fight me | Used to threaten someone, sometimes playfully or seriously | |
Chill (E.g., “Got no chill!”) | Can’t relax | “Got no chill” is used to refer to someone who cannot calm down or relax, or is overreacting No chill more often has a similar definition to extra, or refers to someone with no filter or generally low inhibitions | “This person can’t seem to calm down…” |
Coins | |||
Come for (someone) | Attack, judge, criticize | “Don’t attack me but…” | |
Cool* | *Okay to use, but... | … acknowledge that it has its roots in AAVE | |
Cop (E.g., “Let me cop that!”) | Get, buy | Used to say that you got or bought something | “I need to know where to buy this!” |
Cray cray | See 2. Ableist Language - Cr*zy | ||
Cunty | |||
Def | Great, totally, awesome, excellent, super, definitely | ||
Dig, dig it, ya dig, you dig, you feel, you feel me | You know? You get it? You understand? | ||
Dip | Leave | Used to refer to when people are leaving an area or situation | “____ and I were planning on leaving after the food was served.” |
Dope | Cool, great, other related variations | Used to emphasize something positively | “The music festival was so great!” |
Drag, dragging, get dragged, etc. | Told off, call or called out | Used to criticize others extensively for something problematic that they did | “This person needs to be called out for their use of ableist language.” |
Extra | Excessive, too much, over the top, trying too hard | Often used negatively, to describe someone who is doing too much to be accepted or liked. Also playfully, especially to describe how someone dresses e.g. shorthand for “that is completely excessive and I love everything about it”. | “Their wardrobe was kind of excessive.” |
Fam | Folks, friends, family, loved ones | Often used to refer to a group in an endearing manner | “Hey folks.” |
Feeling some type of way | Makes me feel, or any variation of that phrase | Used to emphasize a feeling that someone has | “This makes me feel so happy!” “This has me feeling extremely sad.” “This feels strange.” |
Fierce | Notably excellent, superior quality | Used as a compliment, often in appearance Also Tweet by @RMDavison | “You look amazing!” |
Finna | Trying to, about to | “I’m about to go to a party tonight.” | |
Fo sho, fo real | Absolutely, I agree, of course, you’re welcome, not a problem | ||
Fuckboy, fuckboi, fuccboi, etc. | Asshole, douchebag | Used to describe a specific kind of guy who is often creepy, predatory, or annoying | “He was being a really creepy asshole.” |
Gag, gagged (to mean amazed or taken aback) | |||
Giving me life, giving me all, giving you (a look/mood/aesthetic) | I am inspired by this, I am moved by this, I feel validated | Often used to refer to something positively, usually as inspiring | “This TV show moves me.” “I love this musical.” |
Go off, but go off | But ok, go ahead, i guess, cool | “That’s not how it works at all but ok” | |
The gawds, beat for the gods/gawds | |||
Have several seats | Mind your own business; don’t get involved | ||
Hella | Very, really, extremely, or any other variant | “They’re a really cool person.” | |
Homies, squad | Friends, group of friends | “I’m going to hang out with my friends tomorrow.” | |
-the house, the house down boots, etc | |||
Hunty | |||
Hype, get hyped | Excitement, or any related variation | “I’m so excited for the concert this weekend!” | |
I feel you | I relate, I relate to this, or other related phrases | “I can relate to you because I suffer from depression, too.” | |
Killin’ it | Outstanding, you’re amazing, or any related variation | “You’re doing great!” | |
Laid, laying your edges | “I brushed/gelled down my baby hairs” | ||
Lit | Awesome, rad, wild, wonderful, adventurous, etc. | ||
Lowkey, and other -key terms (Variant two: Subtle, small, quiet) | V1: Honestly, personally, truthfully, or other related variations | V1: “Honestly, it made me think of this.” V1: “Personally, I don’t think that’s true.” | |
Mad | Really, extremely, unbelievably | “It’s really hot outside!” | |
Mean (e.g., That’s a mean beat!”) | Awesome, amazing, cool, nice, sweet | “That’s an awesome song!” | |
Spiteful, evil, bitter, flippant | |||
Pressed | Stressed, under pressure | ||
Ratchet | Messy, a mess, not put together | “Damn, you’re a mess today.” | |
Read (someone), reading | Roasted | To “read” someone is to point out their flaws and everything that’s wrong with them as if they’re a book Also Tweet by @RMDavison | “My professor just roasted me for being late.” |
Real (E.g., “The struggle is real.”) | Difficult, unpleasant, enduring, I’m having a difficult time | “Finals are kicking my ass, I’m having a difficult time.” | |
School, schooling | Educate, teach, show, remind | Schooling often means one-upping or telling someone off | “They were educating us about colonialism.” “Let me remind you all of something very important.” |
Serve, serving, serving up looks/aesthetics | Look good, or any related variation | “You look so good!” “You look amazing!” | |
Shade (see “throwing shade”) | |||
Shook | Shocked, rattled, caught off guard, in tears, dead, surprised, amazed, appalled | “Omg i’m dead” | |
Sickening | Amazing, beautiful, breathtaking | ||
Side-eye (E.g., “I was side-eying them when they said that.”) | I rolled my eyes at them, skeptical, suspicious, did not fully believe or take seriously, etc. | “I couldn’t believe them when they said that.” | |
Sis | Friend, honey, babe, darling, sweetie | ||
Slay | Perfected, dominated, honed, refined, made it their own | “Your makeup is perfect!” “Your outfit looks so refined!” | |
Snatch, looking snatched, snatch someone’s wig/weave | Looking amazing, looking cute, looking hot, (also see “shook”) | “I’m looking hot today!” | |
Spillin’ tea | Gossip | ||
Stan | Adore, are a fan of, obsessed with | ||
Stank face | Disapproving look on your face, frown, looking upset | “They gave me a really big frown after I said something wrong.” | |
Stay woke, woke | Socially aware, critically conscious, or any related variation | “I appreciate ____’s work, I consider them to be very socially aware.” | |
Stay, steady (habitual use, e.g., “She stay working,” and “They steady working.”) | Is always, keeps | “She keeps working.” “They’re always working.” | |
Straight up | Just, really | “The situation was just fucked up.” “It was really frustrating.” | |
Swag | See “Dope”. | ||
Tea, T | The truth, the deal, etc | “Ok here’s the deal” | |
The struggle | The difficulty, the dangers, the situation, the conditions | ||
Thirst, thirsty | Desperate | “They seem so desperate for attention, can’t they relax?” | |
Thot | See 4. Other Terms - Slut. | ||
Throwing shade | Disrespect, insult, gossip | ||
Tried it | |||
Trip, be trippin’ | Worry | Trippin often means actin a fool | “Don’t even worry about it.” “They seem pretty distraught about it.” |
Turn up, turnt | Excited, wild, so much fun | ||
Werk | |||
Wypipo, whypipo, YT(s), etc. | White people, or any variant in a different language | ||
Wig (see “snatch”) | |||
Y’all* | Everyone, you all, or any other variation | ||
Yas, Yaaaaaas, etc. | Yes, yay, yeah!, wow!, omgggg |
Ableist language harms people with disabilities.
Disabilities can be bodily/physical, mental, visible, invisible, etc.
> Please bear in mind that while neurodivergence and physical disability are under the same umbrella, you should only reclaim words that apply to your identity. For example, a bipolar person who is not deaf should still avoid the use of “tone-deaf,” just as a blind person who is neurotypical should still not use “cr*zy.”
Word/Phrase | Alternatives | Context | Examples |
Autistic (as an insult or descriptor) “Autistic screeching” memes, etc | **avoid altogether** | ||
Bipolar | Finicky, indecisive, mercurial, wishy-washy | Bipolar disorder is not something to make light of; it is often difficult to live with. + Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness | “This weather is rather finicky today!” “____ is so indecisive, they can’t seem to make up their mind.” |
Blind | Unaware, uninformed, ignorant, oblivious | Negatively implies that people who are blind are inferior + Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness | (Instead of “Blind to the facts”) “____ refuses to accept the facts.” |
Cr*zy, ps*cho, mental, cray/cray cray (AAVE) | Absurd, wacky, weird, surprising, ridiculous, outrageous, wild | Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness | “I can’t believe we’re in the same class again, that’s surprising!” |
Deaf | Not listening, not paying attention | Negatively implies that people who are deaf are inferior + Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness | “Are you listening at all?” “Are you paying attention to what I am saying?” |
Insane | Intense, amazing, unbelievable | Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness | “That work-out was intense!” |
Insanely | Really, particularly, especially, extremely | Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness | “That class was especially difficult!” |
Lame | Boring, disappointing, bummer, lousy, shitty, unfortunate, bad, not okay, awful | Negatively implies that physically disabled people are inferior + Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness | “That movie was so boring. I can’t believe we sat through the whole thing.” |
OCD | Picky, particular, perfectionist | OCD is not something to make light of; it is often difficult to live with + Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness | “I’m so picky about cleaning.” “I’m such a perfectionist.” |
Person with autism / autistic person (Do not assume either way, please see the comments to the right). | Autistic person, they’re autistic | Lydia X. Z. Brown, queer autistic activist: “I’m not a person with Asian-ness, I’m not a person with trans-ness, so why am I a person with autism?” | “They are autistic.” “They are an autistic person.” |
Schizo, schizoid | Just don’t. This comes from confusing schizophrenia, schizoid personality, and various dissociative conditions and can be offensive to a person with any/all of them. | Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness | |
St*pid, r*t*rded, d*mb, m*r*nic | Ridiculous, outrageous, silly | “Their arguments were lacking and ridiculous.” | |
Tone-deaf | Unaware, insensitive, ignorant | Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness | “Pepsi’s advertisements were insensitive to the Black Lives Matter Movement.” |
Triggered “Triggered” memes | Offended, upset, gave you a difficult/hard time, bothered, annoyed, irritated | Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness | “That class gave me such a hard time.” “Casual ableism bothers me.” “Yikes” is a pretty good replacement too |
Traumatized (used illegitimately, like “that class traumatized me”) | (see “triggered”) | Illegitimate use stigmatizes mental illness |
GENDER IS NOT SEX
Please be aware of when you are conflating gender with sex. If you are talking about “women,” but you really only mean to refer to cis women OR uterus-possessing people, be mindful of that and use more specific language. Yes, the word “women” includes trans women and the word “men” includes trans men. Men can have vaginas and women can have penises and any gender can have any/no genitalia, because genitalia and sex characteristics are entirely separate from gender.
WHY NOT “TRANSPHOBIC”?
We use the word “trans-antagonistic” here instead of “transphobic” because “transphobic” has ableist implications and is not being used correctly in common speech. People who offend, marginalize or hate trans people do not have a phobia of trans people, they are just being trans-antagonistic.
Another term available to use is “transmisic,” which uses the “misic/misia” suffix, which literally means “hate.” In this case, the words would be transmisia and transmisic. However, this type of term isn’t as well known, and some people critique the -misia suffix as being inaccessible, so we prefer to use the -antagonistic ending since it’s more widely understood and recognizable.
WHAT ARE PRONOUNS?
Gender pronouns are words used to refer to someone in place of their name, like she/her, they/them, he/him, etc. In the sentence “She is walking to her class,” the words “she” and “her” are gender pronouns. Never assume someone’s pronouns when you first meet them. Assuming someone’s pronouns or gender based on their appearance reinforces harmful trans-antagonistic and gender binarist* social norms and oppressive dynamics. Familiarize yourself with the use of singular they/them pronouns (“their name is kevin” / “they have a job”), and use this as your default pronouns for anyone who has not told you otherwise. Ask for someone’s pronouns privately. Normalize giving your pronouns when introducing yourself, if you are comfortable.
* a “gender binarist” is someone who believes in and enforces the gender binary, a social construct that enforces the “2 genders” idea, which of course erases trans and non-binary people.
See this resource for more alternative terms.
Word/Phrase | Alternatives | Context | Examples |
Bitch | A pain, inconveniencing, annoying, irritating, upsetting, etc. | “That assignment was a pain to do.” | |
Brother/sister (when the person uses gender neutral pronouns) | Sibling, sib | “My sibling is nonbinary!” | |
Guys, you guys, dude(s), ladies, girls, etc. | Everyone, folks, y’all (depends on tone/context--see AAVE), you all, everybody, friends, all, pals | “Hello, everyone!” “Hey, friends!” “What do you all suggest?” | |
He/him/his, she/her/hers | They/them/their/theirs | “I don’t know their gender.” | |
Husband/wife | Spouse, partner, significant other | ||
L*dyboy | **avoid altogether** | Slur | |
Male/female | Man/woman | ||
Man/woman (when you are really referring to their genitals) | Person who possesses a penis/testicular system/penile system Person with a penis/testicular system/penile system Penis-having/possessing person Person with a vagina/uterus/uterine system Uterus-having/possessing person | ||
Mom/dad, mama/papa, etc. | Parent, guardian | “My parent is non-binary!” | |
Shem*le (or generally any term that combines “male” and “female”) | **avoid altogether** | Slur | |
Son/daughter | Child, kid, baby, infant, kiddo | “My kid just joined band!” | |
Tr*nny | **avoid altogether** | Slur | |
Transgendered | Transgender, trans | Don’t use the past tense. Transness is not something done to you. | “My friend is trans” “They are a transgender student” |
Transsexual Note: some people prefer this term | (see transgendered) |
Note:
In general, if a trans person prefers one of these words be used for them, then by all means use them. But otherwise don’t!
See this link for more gendered/transantagonistic terms to avoid.
Word/Phrase | Alternatives | Context | Examples |
Ancient, decrepit, senile, etc (to refer to an older person) | **avoid altogether** | Ageist | |
G*psy (and g*p) | Romani, Romani person | Slur | “She is Romani” |
Illegal, illegal alien | Undocumented, undocumented person | No person is illegal. | “Don’t mention that someone is undocumented unless they specifically say it’s ok” |
Prostitute, whore, slut | Sex worker | Terms like these stigmatize sex workers and justify violence directed at sex workers However, many sex workers have reclaimed these terms and use them to describe themselves. | “_____ performs sexual favors in exchange for money. ____ is a sex worker.” |
Stalking | Lurking, browsing, following, going through/went through (someone’s profile/stuff) | Being stalked can be a very traumatizing experience | “I was going through ____’s profile and saw this one post…” |
Sucks | Boring, disappointing, unfortunate, bad, not okay, awful | Term has roots in homoantagonism and rape culture | ”I’m sorry that you went through that, that’s very unfortunate.” |
Somalian, Somalians | Somali, Somalis | ||
Nb (to refer to a non-binary person) | Enby, non-binary person (some non-binary people also find “enby” infantilizing or otherwise don’t prefer it, so make sure they’re ok with this term) | Nb means non-Black | “She’s an enby!” “They’re a non-binary person!” |
Poly (to refer to a polyamorous, polyromantic, or polysexual person) | Polya, polyam, polyamorous person | Poly already means Polynesian |