TSUKIHIME ROUGH TRANSLATION

Translation by: iluna minori

Grammar Cleanups: Lib, silfie

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BEFORE WE BEGIN

September 7 UPDATE: This is taken from Tsukihime Remake’s Twitter

Type-Moon has officially announced that livestream and all spoilers will be allowed from the 9th of September. 00:00 JST onwards. Once passed, you are free to share this anywhere you like.

BUT . If I happen to receive any Cease and Desist letter from Type-Moon and its associates (Aniplex/Delight Works etc), I’ll have no choice but to follow it. So please be noted. I mean, sure, it’s likely no one will care and spread this document all around the place. But if I get C&D from it, it’ll be an overall YOUR loss, not mine. So just be careful~♬

That said, you’re free to share this everywhere AFTER 9th of September, I don’t mind. Enjoy the translation!

OPENING

Note: The text in red is not shown in the text dialogue, but narrated instead. Some of them are superimposed by the staff credits.

Suddenly, I woke up.

A dark night

No one is at home during this hour.

That familiar smell of tatami mats (grass) and shoji sliding doors (paper)

A sky resembling wooden bricks made by a craftsman

In the corner of the room, an old shadow that can be seen seemingly stuck to the floor.

Recalling the past through the sounds that died out.

The dream I saw was full of nothing but what-ifs.

For example,

---

What if the skies were clouded.

What if I realized things slightly earlier.

What if he hadn't been so weak.

What if I hadn’t been born.

And so ― What if you don’t wake up here.

---

The night sinks deeper and deeper overtime.

I’m certain nobody is at home already.

I was afraid of being alone, I wanted to meet everyone, so I went to the garden alone.

As I breathe out, “oh”, the breath gets gradually whiter.

The garden was so cold that it could hurt my fingertips.

The frozen stars.

The deep darkness.

The cold light that illuminates the world wondrously.

The garden in this mansion was so wide

The surroundings are enclosed by deep darkness.

As the forest trees look darker and darker

Like a huge curtain.

As if I entered a certain theater.

The throbbing from my chest feels as if it’s about to block my throat.

The treetop window opened with the sound of a bang,

As if the circus was about to start, it makes me excited.

The buzzing sound of insects began to crawl into my ears.

Various sounds can be heard from a distance.

Within the dark trees of the curtain.

As if everyone is having fun and causing ruckus within the forest.

The curtain has not yet risen.

Not yet.

Not yet.

As I could not wait any longer, I head into the forest

Pitch black.

Deep within the forest, where the cold light could not reach.

There are various noises.

There are various objects.

However, it’s so dark I couldn’t understand what these are.

To the point that even if I were to bump into someone halfway, I wouldn’t be able to remember.

Freezing.

A chilling winter so cold that it numbed the inner part of my eyeballs.

 I walked further in, as if my name was called.

After passing through the veil of trees

Lies everyone gathering around the forest square together, waiting.

Everyone looking uneven, non-uniformed

With dismembered hands and legs

A forest square painted in pure red.

ーー I do not understand

A stranger can be seen coming over from the other side.

Holding a fearsome weapon in his hands.

Appearing as if he wanted to do the same to me as the others.

---- I really do not understand.

I vaguely look at the person.

I then wait helplessly for the murder weapon to come at me.

However, as the time gradually comes, there is someone who somehow appears in front of me…

Getting dismembered on my behalf

ーー Because I was a kid, I really did not understand at all.

A splash.

Something warm landed on my face.

Red.

Red water, like a tomato’s juice.

That person who got dismembered into pieces.

That person, whom I called my mother, will never call out my name again.

Although I don’t really understand this.

It was just cold.

And it made me feel like crying.

I do not want to look at the forest, since it’s so dark.

I do not want to look at the floor, since it’s so red.

 Therefore I looked up to the sky.

ーー A canopy that blocks the sky.

My eyes are now mixed with warm, scarlet colors.

Seeping into the eyeballs within.

However I did not mind at all.

In this night sky, only the moon alone can be seen.

--- The white face that opens the night

That stranger would definitely come to dismember me apart, this time for sure.

With footsteps coming, step by step.

ーー Falling stars that look beautiful and ethereal

 And yet, I vaguely look up at the eternally blue shadows.

Somehow it feels mysterious.

I wonder why I have not realized it up until now.

Ahh ーー This night, too

As I came to to my senses, that stranger now stands in front of me

Without a voice, a thump sound runs through and flares up the pain.

 At the middle of the chest.

Like an opened, dancing veil.

I couldn’t see anything.

The world disappears gradually.

Within it, it shines brightly always.

Ah, I did not realize it until now.

In the midst of this night,

The moon is just so ーー beautiful ーー

0 - Prologue

When I came to my senses, I realized I was on the hospital bed.

The curtain flutters and shakes.

The open window allowed the chilly wind to blow in.

And the inconsiderate colors made my eyes squint reflexively.

Where is this place?

When is now?

What is happening around me?

My head couldn’t catch up.

As I stood up and put my strength into my hands, my body recoiled with a shock. I lost my breath and started gaping like a fish. You could say this stuff made my eyes start firing up. The moment I put my hands on the hardened bed, it somehow made me feel pain as if I was being torn apart.

“ーー” “ーーーー”

I laid back down, took a deep breath and checked up on my body.

Both of my hands are swathed in bandages.

My left leg is wrapped in plaster.

My head felt pressure so it’s probably wrapped in bandages as well.

My chest appears covered in a thick bandage, obscuring what lies beneath.

My left arm has a tube jutting from it. This somehow made me realize that it is an IV drip, and my body began to take that in. Thanks to that, I seemed to have been looking around my surroundings while still in a trance. In this room that is dark and filled with the smell of medicine, the various tubes that are extended from the bandages are plastered around my chest. The sight of adults with a scary back who came to visit. The sight of a little sister who came near after getting scolded by the adults. The sight of doctors who run around like children.

All of these, I remember them as if it’s a dream.

“Eh, you, don’t tell me you’re already awake!?”

An unfamiliar girl’s voice.

I don’t even have the energy to reply to her.

The girl starts panicking and rushes outside the room in order to call the doctor.

Patapatapatapatapata.

I knew it was out of an emergency, but you shouldn’t be running around the hospital.

“ーーーー”

I couldn’t move my body so I rotated my neck around to look outside the window.

The core of my eyeballs starts to splinter.

My brain feels like it’s being scrambled with a sharp object.

Somehow ---- An unbelievably blue sky.

The blue color without a speck of stain was somehow much crueler and painful than the white sunlight.

---

A few days later.

After waking up from there, I couldn’t move from my bed. As I lift my head up and look outside, the usual high sky lays in front of my eyes.

The curtain flutters around.

The dry wind hits my cheeks.

The clear sky made my eyes reel around dizzily.

Where is this place, when is the present, why am I in the hospital.

All of that, I began to remember them, one by one.

Except one.

It feels as if I’ve forgotten something important, the promise that brings tears to eyes, and I continue staring outside the window.

“Nice to see you Shiki Tohno. Congratulations on your recovery.”

The old man I first met, let out such words and began asking for a handshake.

His smile was absolutely gentle, and his tone of voice was really calm, it gave me the impression of a proper adult.

The type of adult that could swap from a smiling face to a straight face like a switch.

That clean, lean white shirt he wore was a perfect choice for this man.

“Shiki-kun? Do you understand a word I’m saying?”

“....No. Why am I in the hospital?”

“You don’t remember? You got involved in a car accident when you were walking. Your chest was full of glass fragments. Certainly not a wound easily treated.”

With the old man in white maintaining his smile, somehow he lets out words that a doctor would definitely say.

“Certainly not a wound easily treated”

That expression somehow welled up the nausea that was held back.

“I’m tired. Can I go to sleep?”

“Yeah, please do so. You should not overdo yourself yet, you have to rest your body now.”

The doctor continued smiling.

To be honest, it’s not a sight I want to lay my eyes on.

“Doctor, may I ask something?”

 “Sure, what is it, Shiki-kun?”

“Why is your body covered in scribbles? It’s all over the room too as if the place is about to crumble.”

The doctor's smile faltered for just a moment, but he quickly returned to his smiling face and stood up from his chair.

Filling the floor with clacking sounds, he then starts to move beyond the curtain.

“....His brain is indeed having disorders. Contact Washiya-sensei from the neurosurgeon department. Also I suspect that his optic nerves too are experiencing some damage. Make sure to give him an eye check during the afternoon.”

The doctor began to sound like a completely different person, and with his cold voice, he silently conversed with the nurse on something.

---

“It’s weird, everyone is covered in lines.”

The squiggly lines can be seen stamping all around the hospital. Though I don’t understand what it means, just looking at it makes me feel terrible.

“What is that, I wonder.”

Even the bed is scribbled.

I began to just touch with my fingers, with a press, and my fingers began poking deeper.

“Ah.”

Anything more delicate and it would have sunk deeper.

With the plastic knife located on the shelf,  I then trace the scribble.

I did not exert any pressure on it but the knife seems to carve deeper, sinking into the scribble all the way to its root.

Since it was fun to do, I then slid the knife following the traces of the scribble like it is.

Wham!

A heavy sound can be heard, and the bed got torn apart nicely.

“Kyaaaaaaaa!”

A voice can be heard from behind.

A nurse stands in front of the door, grimacing.

---

“Just how did you destroy the bed, Shiki-kun?”

The doctor seems to be asking about the method of destroying the bed, not the reason.

“The moment I traced the lines it got cut”

“Hey, just why is this hospital full of cracks all over the place?”

“Would you snap out of this Shiki-kun. There’s no such lines. And so, how did you manage to destroy the bed? Just tell me, I won’t get angry.”

“Like I said, I just traced the lines.”

“....Alright, I see. We shall talk about that again tomorrow.”

The doctor let out a sigh.

Since the mention of the scribble, that gentle smile never returned.

The switch is definitely broken.

It seems that the hospital is full of things that are easily broken.

In the end, there was no one who believed in what I said.

As long as I cut that scribble with a knife, it gets cut down cleanly no matter what it is.

With no effort required.

Like cutting a paper using scissors, it gets sliced off easily.  

Be it a bed, a chair, a table, a wall, or even a floor.

...though I never personally tried, but probably, and definitely, on humans too…

It seems that others can’t see those scribbles.

A line only I can see.

That thing is definitely patchwork after stitching up my wound.

I think it’s a mark, like my chest, that hasn’t fully healed after recovering and is scattered to pieces just by touching.

Because otherwise, there's no way a child could cut through the wall with his own strength.

“-------, ---------!”

Another scream of a nurse can be heard.

Glaring at me while staring at the wall that is sliced out unevenly.

The screams of fury start to grow, and grow.

Though my ears are getting weirder, so it didn’t feel annoying.

The unrelenting voices made me feel anxious like a cicada that is set on fire.

Everything was in shambles.

Just by opening my eyes, just being alive, its horrible enough to make me want to disappear.

….Ah, I didn’t know up till now.

To think the world is filled with patchwork everywhere.

All so easily destroyed.

No one can see it.

That’s why they feel at ease.

They didn’t realize something abnormal about this world at all.

They don’t know about the everyday life that is filled with scars all around.

But I can see it.

It’s scary, so scary that I can’t walk.

Come to think of it, from that day on, my ears remain frozen and it feels quiet, even though there are sounds.

Only the wound on my chest echoes like a siren.

But I wonder if "that" would mean "when".

I tried to remember but I couldn’t. Even as I scratched my head over it, I couldn't take it out. I must have thrown it away because it was unimportant and insignificant. It's like a faucet that keeps spilling water no matter how hard you tighten the line.

….Ah, is that so.

If that’s the case, everything makes sense.

It’s a given that there’s no mirror at all.

Because if there is, I would have ■ it right away.

Pretty sure I’d laugh and crack up.

In other words. It seems that it's not the people surrounding me that are breaking down, it's just me.

That’s probably why.

As 2 weeks have passed, nobody believes in what I say.

As 2 weeks have passed, nobody came to see me.

As 2 weeks have passed, I alone lived in the world full of patchworks---------

I don’t want to be in the sickroom.

I don’t want to be in a place full of scribbles.

So I ran away from here, to a faraway place where no one is around.

The weird one here isn’t me but the place I’m at, and I ran out trying to convince myself that it was not me who was crazy, but this place itself.

But the wound on my chest was suffocating, so I couldn’t run far.

As I realized, I could only land myself in the field located just beside the hospital, and I couldn’t go any farther than this.

“..*Cough*”

My chest hurts, and I feel really sad, and I couldn’t help but to squat down on the ground, and cough.

I can’t go anywhere, and I can’t escape.

There is definitely no place for humans who can see these lines.

Cough, cough.

There’s nobody around.

At the end of summer, in this sea of grass.

It feels as if I could just disappear like that.

However, before that.

“Hey, it’s dangerous for you to just squat there like that.”

The voice is loud and clear, it’s the voice of a woman.

“Eh?”

“Don’t you “Eh” me. You're so small that you can't be seen even when you stand within the grass. Just be careful, you almost got kicked away here.”

The woman pointed her fingers at me, seemingly sour in mood.

….Somehow, it pissed me off a little.

As I’m positioned 4th from the front in my class, I don’t really think I’m that short.

“Getting kicked away….by who?”

“Fool, isn’t that obvious. We're the only ones here. So who else would there be other than me?”

The woman crossed her arm, and let out those words with confidence.

“Well, I’d say it’s some sort of fate to have met you here, so why not have a little talk with me? My name is Aoko Aozaki, and you?”

Acting casually as if she met a friend, the woman then extended her hands at me.

I couldn’t find a reason to refuse her offer, so I then introduced myself as Shiki Tohno, and extended my hand as if pulled into her pace.

It was really fun talking to that woman.

That person wouldn’t just ignore my words just because “I’m a kid”.

She listened to every word I had to say, as if we’re talking as human beings.

We talked about various things.

My family. That it's an old family with a long history, and how my father is a strict man who is very particular about etiquette.

Like I have a sister named Akiha, who is very gentle and always follows me around.

Like I live in a huge mansion, with a garden that looks like a forest, and always play with friends with Akiha around.

Like there is a secret place in the attic.

Like I was getting bad at Shiritori.

Like I am still expected to grow taller.

Like how I grew to dislike the smell of the hospital that I used to like.

Like how I would start crying over looking at the beautiful blue sky without the clouds.

But how living is still a wonderful thing, and how I can’t bring myself to dislike the doctor even though he’s not good at making jokes.

---- Really.

I just talked a lot about many things, as if I caught a fever.

“Oops, would you look at the time. Too bad Shiki, I have some errands to take care of so let’s stop here.”

The woman then stood up.

I felt lonely, thinking I’d end up being alone again.

“Let’s meet again tomorrow. I’ll wait for you here. You better get back to your room and follow your doctor’s instructions. You hear me?”

“Ah----”

That woman then left, as if it’s a normal thing to do.

“Let’s meet again, tomorrow... “

Meet again tomorrow, and we get to talk again like today.

I’m happy. It feels as if I regained back emotions that are human-like since waking up from that incident.

---

It became a daily routine to walk myself to the fields during the afternoon.

If I refer to that woman as Aoko I get reprimanded. It seems that she isn’t fond of that name herself.

After some deliberation, I began to refer to that wise person as “Sensei”.

Sensei would listen earnestly to whatever I have to say, and she would solve my problems with just a few words. Me, who became reluctant to communicate with people after that incident, slowly regained back what I used to be, thanks to sensei’s guidance.

Whenever I come to this field, it seems that I can be what I used to be and my anxiety would disappear. Which is why sensei could have really been a teacher from any school, even though I have no idea who she really is.

But this is something that is completely irrelevant to me.

Sensei is really a fun person to be with.

That simple thing is the only thing that mattered.

“Hey Sensei. I can do this, you know.”

I thought I could give her a surprise, so I brought out the knife from the hospital, and sliced the tree in the field.

By tracing the line that looks like a scribble, I sliced it in half through the middle, like ripping a piece of paper.

“Looks amazing right. If I could see scribbles, I could easily just cut them off. I bet no others can do the same. “

“---------------------”

Sensei looks surprised.

I could get good at it, so I thought I would insert my knife this time into a straight horizontal line found at the core of the tree.

“Shiki!”

Sensei proceeded to run up to me and slapped me on the cheek with her hand.

“Sen...sei?”

“Stop it. You just did something rash just now.”

Sensei then looked at me with her earnest eyes.

A ruthless eye. An eye that looks as if she’s going to punish an evil person, a very determined, unshakable eyes.

Ahh, how foolish I was.

It was such an enjoyable time, so much that I forgot about myself.

Since the scribble should have never existed, and it reminded me of how I am a person who should never live when I look at myself.

“---------------ah.”

A regret like blood that stings through my chest.

I felt like dying with my own foolishness.

That tree was the only thing that’s left of this field that used to be a forest…

I just wanted praise from Sensei, but I just meaninglessly tore it apart.

“....I’m sorry”

As I came to my senses, tears began to flow out.

Even though I know it’s cowardly and unmanly for a boy to cry, I couldn’t stop being regretful over it.

“---Shiki.”

A fuzzy feeling.

Sensei then hugged someone like me, who was still holding the knife, like it was a normal thing to do.

“You didn’t need to apologize. Um, I mean, Shiki indeed did something that deserves to be scolded. But it’s definitely not just your fault, you know.”

“....? Definitely not just my fault…?”

“Yes. But you know, Shiki. In a place somewhere different from here, if someone doesn't reprimand you here right now, it’ll become something that can never be undone. Which is why I’m looking at you as a human. As a person of equal ground, I gave my opinion, got angry, and hit you earnestly. So earnest that if I hadn’t used the right amount of force, I might have killed Shiki with it.”

Those words were truly fearsome.

It wasn't about the "what if" where I could have been possibly killed, it was about how it would be a tragedy to let this person do that to me.

“Don’t cry, Shiki. In return, I won’t apologize too. Because I want you to remember all the things you've done for me….Yeah. In return, I wouldn’t mind if you end up disliking me as well.”

“....No. I don’t dislike you at all, Sensei.”

“ーーIs that so, that’s really a relief. ….Looks like this could be the reason why I met you.”

With that.

Quietly, as if to allow me to dissolve my regret, Sensei then asked me about the scribble I was looking at.

As I talked about the lines I saw, Sensei would further tighten her arms, hugging even closer.

“...Shiki, the thing you see is indeed something that exists in reality. Even though it’s not something you should be seeing, even if it’s something completely impossible to other humans, That line itself is not an illusion. It’s a reality only to you.”

“...Is that so. Then I knew it, I knew that it’s just me who is weird.”

“Yeah, you are indeed weird. There is no fooling around there.”

Holding back myself who’s on the verge of crying.

Those words that hurt several times more than when the doctor refused to believe me, so much that it almost broke me.

But it is something that I understood.

From the beginning ---- from the moment I woke up from that incident, I knew that I was that child who shouldn't have been there.

“Don't apologize. Even though it’s abnormal, it’s not something that can’t be explained. As long as it is reasonable, humans can always face anything ---- that’s my rule of thumb. No matter how ridiculous or haphazard it is, we humans can always overcome it with knowledge and courage.”

Lesson number one, as Sensei passed the words on, while looking a little embarrassed.

Even if there is something abnormal, it's not an issue in itself. The issue here is how we face it.

“Then, can we explain what that scribble is?”

“Of course. All things have spots that can break down easily. All of us would eventually break down, and because we can, that we are not perfect. Those eyes of yours can see the end of those things….in other words you ended up viewing the future.”

“...I’m viewing... the future?”

“That’s right. You don’t have to know more than what is necessary right now.  If there ever comes a time where you end up following the flow of things, you will inevitably realize the logic behind those things.”

“....Sensei, I have no idea what you were talking about.”

“Yeah, you must not understand this. What is important for you right now is that you must not cut that line for mischievous reasons. Your eyes will end up taking the life of an object lightly because of this.”

“Yeah. If sensei says so, then I’ll not do it. Besides, somehow my chest hurts because of it….I’m sorry sensei. I’ll never do this again.”

“...I’m glad. You must not forget the feeling you have right now. If you do so, you’ll definitely find happiness.”

The arms that were embracing me begin to untie. And the feel of warmth that was also cold starts moving away.

“But Sensei. I don’t feel comfortable because I can see the scribbles. I mean, if I draw the lines, it’ll get cut, yes? If so, wouldn’t it be weird if I end up turning everything around me into shambles?”

“I’ll do something about it. Seems like this is the reason why I’m here to begin with.”

Sensei then lets out an exaggerated sigh, and begins smiling like a sun.

“Shiki, I’ll have a special present for you tomorrow. I’ll make sure your life returns to normal like before.”

On the next day.

At the field 7 days after our first meeting, Sensei arrived once again lowering her suitcase down with her single hand.

“Here. If you wear this, you should no longer be able to see the scribble lines anymore”

What Sensei presented to me was a pair of normal, everyday glasses.

“But my eyes weren’t bad at all.”

“Just wear it. The glasses have no strength at all.”

Sensei then forcefully got me to wear the glasses. In a moment ---

“Uwaah! Amazing, this is amazing, Sensei! I can’t see scribbles at all!”

“Of course! I had to go all my way to steal my sister's Mystic Eyes Killer to make this, and it’s one of Aoko Aozaki’s best works here. I’ll let you know that you won’t get away so easily if you treat it badly, Shiki.”

“Yeah, I’ll make sure to take good care of it! But Sensei, you're amazing! To have those disgusting lines disappear just like that. It’s like magic here!”

“That too is a given. I mean, I’m a magician!”

Laughing triumphantly, Sensei then placed her suitcase on the ground.

“But Shiki, it doesn’t mean the lines will disappear, it just means you can’t see them. Once you remove the glasses, you will once again see them.”

“I can't see it?”

“Yeah. There are no other ways to cure that. You will have to find your way to live your life with those eyes of yours.”

“.....No. I don’t need those scary eyes.If I were able to see those lines again, I feel like I’ll end up breaking sensei’s promise.”

“Ah, the one where you won’t cut the lines any more, that one? You fool, you can just break that promise easily.”

“....Really? But I mean, didn’t you say it’s something one should never do?”

“Yeah, it is. But that eye is something that doesn’t depend on anyone, it is your own personal ability. Therefore, you’re free to decide whether you want to use it or not. About possessing those eyes here, it is something no one can place the blame on except you. The only question here is what you want to achieve with that power, Shiki.”

“What...I want to achieve with that power….”

Sensei proceeds to look straight into my eyes as if she was looking into mine.

“That’s the thing….Yep, I knew it. What good eyes you have there. To tell you the truth, when I first met you, I was thinking how troublesome it was and yet I still bumped into you in the end. I mean, you looked like you were losing a lot of things there. But there weren't any problems at all. You are still alive, and living your life here. If that’s the case, you should spend your life regaining what was lost.”

“ーーーーーーーー”

ーーーーAt that time, that feeling of the light in my chest, as well as the joy that welled up in my eyes at this moment, is something I could never put into words, even if it takes my whole lifetime.

“It’s fine for you to be here.”

More so than anyone, I felt that I have been acknowledged.

“Shiki. Among all your personal attributes here, you have developed a very peculiar set of abilities here. However the fact that you get to own that ability means something. God will not grant you this power without any meaning. You could say that the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception is there because there will definitely be a time in your future when you will need it. I know this sounds cruel but ---- that is why you should never forget this. That you have a very honest heart here. As long as you remain who you are, those eyes of yours will never lead you astray. I won’t tell you to become a saint, but you should just become an adult and do what you think is right. As long as you are able to genuinely accept the things that are bad, and apologize for the things you did wrong, I bet you will definitely grow up to be a wonderful boy after 10 years. ”

Sensei proceeds to stand up and extends her hand to grab her suitcase.

“Ah, but let me tell you that you shouldn’t be removing the glasses unless there are exceptional situations calling for it. Since we don’t call this a special ability for nothing.

Alright, here comes my second lesson to you.

Think carefully on when to call a foul and when to win.

Hopefully you won’t get yourself into these situations, but only take off your glasses when you decide that things are really getting out of your hands, and from there, use your power with care and thought. Do understand that the power itself isn’t inherently evil, and whether the result ended up a good or bad one will depend on your judgement on the matter.”

Picking up her suitcase.

ーー Though Sensei doesn’t say a word. But I understood immediately that this is going to be a goodbye.

“ーーI can’t do this, Sensei. I can’t be doing this all on my own. Actually, I was so scared that I couldn’t take it at all before meeting Sensei. But because of you, Sensei, I was able to return to who I was.

….I can’t do this. It just wouldn’t do, having these glasses without you around, Sensei!”

“Shiki, you must not say things that you never meant to. You will just make other people uncomfortable over the lies that you can't even fool yourself into believing.”

Sensei then furrowed her brow and flicked her finger on my forehead, with a ping.

“You know this yourself, right? That you’re fine now. If that’s the case you shouldn’t be saying boring things like this, You just managed to get a hold of yourself, so you shouldn’t be throwing it away.”

“So this is goodbye. So bye, Shiki. Life is full of pitfalls for any human being. You have the ability to do something about it, so straighten yourself up.”

Sensei is going to leave. Though it’s sad, since I’m a friend of Sensei’s, I thought I should send her away with grace.

“Ok. This is goodbye, Sensei.”

“Right. Well done, well done. Hope you’ll keep up that spirit and always be well. Final lesson for you. Whenever you’re in trouble, first calm down, and then think properly on what to do next. Don’t worry, you can definitely do well even if you’re alone.”

Sensei then laughs looking happy.

The wind blows high.

The bushes waves around simultaneously.

Sensei can no longer be seen.

“Bye bye, Sensei.”

As I said this, I realize the weight of not being able to meet her anymore.

What remains were the amount of words she left behind, as well as the mysterious glasses.

Though we only spend our time together for 7 days, I was given lessons that are more important than anything else.

As I stood there absentminded, tears started to well up in my eyes.

ーー Ah, How foolish this was.

I only know how to say goodbye all the time.

I didn’t even manage to say thank you to that person.

This happened right after my discharge from the hospital.

As I got discharged, I was left in the care of another family and did not return to the Tohno family. Even as my body recovered, the after-effects that remained would mean I’m the unnecessary child to the Tohno family.

But it’s fine.

Shiki Tohno can definitely do fine, even if he’s alone.

A new life, a new family to live with.

Leaving behind the sickroom that I’ve spent my 10th summer in.

The curtain sways and flutters around as usual, without a change.

Squinting my eyes over the overly blue sky once again.

The dry winds finally signaled the end of summer.

ーー End of 0 - Prologue ーー

DAY 1 - The Morning Journey Home I

The train line that was laid above ground earlier now switches to the underground line without warning in advance.

The train then starts to scatter its artificial light as it makes its way through the darkness.

The sound of the creaking train.

The man made light that passes by every interval.

By piling the vibration transmitted through the sheet on top of the clock’s second hand, it makes one think of the passage of time that passes as well as the distance

Morning, 6:33 am.

30 minutes have passed since I took the train.

This is how much time and distance had passed since leaving the home of someone who took care of me for years, a home which I will no longer return to.

How one would accept the fact and face it will probably require a measure on the depth of human compassion.

Would it be just a distance and familiarity that feels “That’s all there is to it”?

Or would it be something that can be settled with distance that makes one feel “No more than that”?

I start to consider which side I’d take.

Though I gave it a little thought, I realized neither of these feelings came to mind.

With me alone sitting on a seat that could house 8 people, the seats opposite me remained empty.

You can count the number of passengers with your fingers, and what lies is a scenery where  a man in a business suit dozing off sitting on the seat row beside me, and a girl who stands in front of the door.  

Even though this is a morning train, the sight of the train cars within just felt overly lonely.

Perhaps it was due to me being so lost in my thoughts, the sound of the vehicle driving from the outside didn’t reach my ears for some reason.

In an ambiguous moment, I began associating with riding a spaceship heading to the dark universe.

The disordered noises from the outside did not reach me.

What lies here would be my own worthless fantasy, and the sound of my own heart thump that pumps out blood, and the memories that I spent an hour reminiscing through it.

It was a sudden conversation.

“Makihisa Tohno is already dead. We would like Shiki  Tohno, the one we left in your care, to return immediately to us.”

To think that the telegram coming from my actual home that was unheard for 7 years, would bring such implications here.

The orders and decisions of the Tohno family cannot be rejected. Since I’m still a student, I’m still in the position where I’m receiving child support.

It was out of some willpower that I decided to return to the mansion on the morning of the day, instead of the night before.

Just for the sake of living in the house that I’ve been living in for as long as I remember.

Even if this is a decision from the family head, it’s still out of my own courtesy for the people of Arima who welcomed me into their family, despite having no blood relation whatsoever.

“Thanks for the meal. The breakfast was delicious as usual”

After finishing my  breakfast before the sun rises, I left the dining table and went to the room that had been set aside for me.

Though it feels bland for a gratitude of many years, to have feelings left behind would prove that I will still have attachments to this place.

It was a life filled with nothing but bright moments. So just bringing them as my luggage would be sufficient.

When leaving the Arima family, the only one who sent me off was Keiko. Afterall, I was the one who brought up the suggestion to not wake up the rest.

“Thank you for taking care of me for so long. Please pass my regards to Miyako and Dad.”

7 years have passed ーー The person who is my mother figure is seen having a very sorrowful look. I never thought I'd be able to see that person’s face like that.

“I figured your life at Tohno mansion would not be easy, but be steady. Your body is frail so don’t push yourself too hard.”

I gratefully accepted the kind words from her.

These 7 years were really peaceful. But at the same time, if the time I spent at the Arima house did not bring any pain or grief to the Arima family, then I could not have been more pleased with it.

“Recuperating for as long as 7 years would restore my health to normal human levels. Despite my appearance, but I’m actually tough, my body that is”

“Yeah, that’s right. Though the Tohno people are full of special people, you are among the ones that don't feel fear over things. Ever since you were  a kid, you've been surprisingly imperturbable.”

Words with a bitter smile, but at the same time it brings a smile to the face.

It makes me happy to know that I was still "her child" in Keiko-san’s mind.

“You think too highly of me.

….Well I have to go now. Mom, please take care.”

“Yeah. Please take care of yourself, Shiki”

It’s so very Keiko-san to not reply with a “see you”.

She also accepted the fact that I’ll no longer return and sent me off with tears welling up in the corner of her eyes.

This happened just 40 minutes ago. This begins the chapter of me accepting a new life, and this also ends the life of Shiki Tohno as a human being up till now.

The outer scenery begins to change, little by little.

By now the train would have passed through the shrine tree located at the suburb across the river now entering Souya, an urban city.

The train tracks once again head towards the upper ground.

The feeling of gently moving upward to a slope.

The eyes that are used to the man-made light, are now filled with the sunlight streaming in.

The train runs parallel with a boundless view of the city.

The town has yet to be fully awake, for the most part.

The atmosphere that is gradually filled with the cold air from the outside

It’s now October, the morning autumn itself where the shadow of summer dissipates away.

Come to think of it, I have been viewing this scenery for a good time of a year and a half.

The scenery of riding the train to school will be over right after this.

Like the scenery that passes by, I look behind the 7 years that passed.

When I was 10 ーー  I recovered from a heavy injury that would normally be instant death, met Sensei, lived my life with the Arima family, and finally welcomed the second autumn of my high school year.

Since then ーー the special occasion that was mentioned by Sensei during the moment we parted did not happen, and as long as I wear the glasses given to me by Sensei, I’ll never see the lines.

I’d like to think I’m living my hard earned normal life, even though Shiki Tohno is just an ordinary boy.

Though from today onwards, there’s going to be a minor big deal going on.

Although it’s unworthy of my status  to return to my original form, it’s true that it somehow doesn't bode well with me.

For me who is getting used to living in a normal family, the responsibilities of the Tohno family is a bit of a problem...I mean it’s too heavy for me.

“.....To begin with, it’s hard to imagine a mansion bigger than the school…”

I’m impressed that I was able to put up with it when I was a kid.

Just thinking about returning to that anachronistic way of living,  is just going to make me feel self conscious about it even if I don’t find it problematic.

After the train stops at the major station, the trains remain stopped for several minutes.

Since this is a train that stops at every station, it’s now the time to wait for the rapid train to pass by.

There’s no one at the platform right now.

Normally there should be a few salarymen in their business suits passing by during this hour, but it seems especially quiet this morning.

The rapid train passed by the neighbourhood rail.

“Thank you for waiting. The next station is ーー”

A familiar announcement.

The automatic door that closes with air pressure.

Confirming that it will take 4 stations from here to reach my high school, located at Souya station

“Awawawa, wait! Wait!!”

“Haaah, It was close! It was close! I thought that would have sent my head flying!”

The one who appeared after sliding in through the automatic door, was a female student from our high school. A 3rd year student wearing a green ribbon. Somehow she looks familiar.

The bag she held on hand seems to be equipment for her club activities and what not.

“ーーーーーー”

Suddenly, our eyes met.

The senior female student began staring right at this direction over here. Not only that, but as I thought she began walking towards me,

“Good morning. I’m sorry for causing such a ruckus this morning.”

“Ah, no I’m the one who’s sorry for staring at your like that”

Hooked by that smile, I expressed my apology.

“Oh, no no. I mean I was the one at fault for standing out so much. As a senior it feels embarrassing to do so. But it looks like it’s true that you’re not good with mornings.”

The senior chuckled

As I get taken aback by her gesture,

“Hey it’s me, it’s me you know. We just met last week. Don’t tell me that you forgot?”

“Eh….Ciel-senpai…?”

In a moment, my memories are shaken.

I should have recognized her. I’ve seen her in school many times before.

Rather, I don’t think there is anyone who wouldn’t recognize Ciel-senpai at all.

It wasn’t really clear who thought of that but she's an all-purpose senior.

She would happily provide counseling and discussions with first year students in trouble,

She would actively solve all issues for second year students who face troubles and are lost,

and she would put a halt on problematic third-year students who would bully their juniors.

Since she is more reliable than teachers and the student council when it comes to problem solving, she is called by some students to be the true president of the student council.

This goes without saying, I should know that she helped me out a little last week due to some issues.

Good grief, there is a limit to being dense, seriously.

As Senpai mentioned earlier, it’s probably due to being weak in the mornings plus having my head clouded with the fact that I’m returning to my actual home for the first time.

And I,

1. It’s a pity but I have nothing to talk to her about.
2. Question her since I have a few in mind.
3. Tell her that I had no choice but to might as well observe her carefully since I’m here

> Choice no.2

Suddenly, there were some questions that popped out from my head.

Why would she be riding the train this early in the morning?

“But why? Senpai, you don’t participate in clubs right? To ride on a train to school this early in the morning though…”

“Well, what do I have to hide? I was on my back from volunteer activities. I mean, there was a student council recruitment drive to pick up trash in the park, right? So I just got it done quickly, and that happened just now.”

When she said that, I was like “Ah”, now that made sense.

I just realized that this senpai is a person who takes her effort to run errands for anyone.

“It was just a morning 30 minute volunteer activity, you know. Others would go home first but I just decided to go to school like that because it was troublesome to make a detour”

Senpai then hit her bag, letting out a shaken sound.

I thought it was some tools for club activities, but it looks like those are cleaning tools.

“Oho, you want to see what’s inside? To think you would check on your senior’s baggage, that’s quite daring of you despite looking so docile”

Senpai then leaned closer, while staring at my face over here.

…..No, everything seemed so closer, like her face, or her smell and what not. It feels awkward that I don’t know where to look.

“N, No, I mean that’s not it. I thought it would be rare for you to bring a foldable broom or a rake and so on…”

“Hoh hoh. I see that you want to look at my all purpose high branch pruning scissors too. Very well. Then come by my tea club after school. I’d be delighted to have you here”

When she says it with such a premeating smile like that, even I would get embarrassed too.

I couldn’t even give her a witty reply, and I replied to her with a hopeless “yes” in the end.

“That’s a promise. Now this is just you and me but we still have leftover refreshments bought with the club budget. Since these snacks cannot last long, I need a healthy boy

to help me out!”

“O, Oh is that so. Then I’d love to come if my schedule fits. Though getting fished by food is something only a cat would do.”

Attracted by the overly friendly smile of Ciel-senpai, it made me crack out a banter as well.

And then the senpai in green ribbon replied

“It’s more of a dog than a cat, don’t you think so.

Rather, it’s not good being a felidae. The only one that is dependable to the end are smart canines with proper manners”

A demonstration of her insistence that I don’t fully understand, with a boast.

Since we have the same destination, we somehow continued talking.

Like the mid-term exams that ended last week.

Or sports festivals that are so small in scale that it could be done in a day.

Or the non changing, ever the same canteen menu.

After discussing the controversy between the school that insists on restricting the use of mobile devices nowadays and the argument with students that made us sighed at each other, we shifted topics and exchanged our impressions on recent movies and laughed together.

Soon, 15 minutes have passed.

Senpai was really good in conversations, and she is rumored to be the senpai that is loved by both male and female.

To the point it would be a regret to just reach Souya station with a few minutes left, we then proceed to bring our next conversation to the table.

ーーHowever.

“Hey, both of you. Can you be quiet? It’s noisy”

Just like that, we lost track of our surroundings.

The both of us proceed to bow our heads down, apologizing.

“...............”

“Looks like we got scolded”

“I’m sorry… It’s definitely because I was laughing really loud back there”

From there on, conversations no longer occur. As if the friendly atmosphere that appeared before was a lie.

The silent atmosphere, in which everyone is nothing but a stranger, begins to dominate the train car.

The train arrives at Souya station.

It is 7 am in the morning.

In a morning where it’s still too early to board the school, and it seems that the town is still not fully awake.

Though the station front is fully quiet right now, it’ll be full of people and cars after an hour.

“It’s surprising to see the traffic volume being low in the morning. Seems like that town has been slow in waking up recently. I wonder if everyone pulled an all-nighter.”

As she carries her heavy looking baggage, she lets out a word that sounded quite eccentric.

“Oh, I mean, do you want me to help you carry that thing to school?”

“Eh? Ah, no, no. You don’t have to worry, I have to make a detour so I guess this is goodbye here”

After that, she ran off waving her hands with a smile.

A nimble and speedy run that would fit so well with the sound effect of “Babyun”.

Though I was tempted to do the same and run resolutely, I  wasn’t in the rush to do so, nor do I have the reason to.

I have to consider my body condition too, therefore I begin heading to school with the usual pace.

….and then.

The girl just now came out from the ticket gate.

As she walk by over here with a quick pace,

“You're just as frivolous as you look. How annoying”

and left behind such an intense damage.

“ーーーー”

I was stunned by the sudden thing that happened. It seems that I’ve incurred her displeasure there.

Looks like I gotta be careful with having conversations while riding a train in the future.

Who knows I may have mentioned words that made people unhappy without knowing.

Even so, putting that aside,

“....Well well, middle school kids these days are sure scary”

To voice out criticisms after passing by people like that, feels like a Tsujigiri don't you think.

I walked to school at a pace a little slower than usual.

As the school gate became visible, the clock ticked about somewhere around 7 in the morning.

Students who are heading for club activities pass by the school gate at a quick pace. As they have a Home Room during 8 in the morning, I’m sure they plan to utilize whatever time they can with the limited time given.

Souya Metropolitan High School

An old fashioned school building now welcomes its 40 years of history this year.

Average enrollment rate, moderate amount of club activities, and a very average high school with reasonably flexible and liberal school rules.

The only complaint from male students is that the school needs to “improve on the design of school uniform that is way old-fashioned”, which is truly a common and conventional complaint, but it all fell into deaf ears.

However, the female uniform actually changed 3 years ago.

Seems like it was due to the best concession the school made in order to increase applicants after  a decrease of number in school enrollment due to its archaic sailor uniform design.

“Hm?”

Somehow I felt a faint sense of discomfort in this familiar landscape. The morning felt somewhat of a rush.

The sight of teachers running to the faculty room with a pale face.

The sight of a black passenger vehicle that is seen parked at the parking lot for the first time.

A chilly sky

I would imagine, for no reason at all, a funeral without any attendees, or a black and white striped curtain that goes without end.

I sigh at my own pessimistic thoughts.

After waving that terrible thought away, I head to the classroom.

I entered the empty classroom.

After finding my own seat and sitting down, I then proceed to waste my time until the morning Homeroom session comes.

With an auspicious mindset, the classroom became more and more populated as I completed my preparations as well as other tasks.

“Good morning. I’m here to announce the end of my morning training”

“Eh, I’m not the first one to come in? Tohno-kun aren’t you a little bit too early?”

“Ah, is that the one, the volunteer thing! But was it today, oh damn, I might have skipped it!?”

Compared to other classes, Class 2-C has a lot more students who are close with each other. Students would just greet others casually, and they begin sitting down in their respective seats.

The classmates who ended their club activities would start chit-chatting with their classmates.

Ranging from exchanging their internet news of yesterday night that have been discussed to death, to new information that happened in this school 10 minutes ago, they would discuss things like how they make checklists to confirm on something.

Although it’s just communication for the sake of passing their remaining time, it's indeed a necessary daily routine.

In today’s world where information overload is a thing, it would be exhausting for me and the opponent to engage themselves in serious dialogues all the time.

And then, suddenly, the atmosphere of the classroom changes.

The chit-chat that was previously harmonious would suddenly transform into a hushed whisper.

“Hey, don’t yer block my way here, small fry. The hell are y’all gathering like that in the early morning, scram off and stop blocking mah way”

The sound of vicious remarks that resonate across the classroom, that doesn’t fit the image of interaction between classmates.

There’s no need to confirm. The one who just arrived and transformed the classmate’s atmosphere was indeedーー

“Yoooo! S’up and good morning four eyes! Yer’re making this grim face again this morning, y’sure don’t look so good over there eh?”

“................”

Definitely the fault of the delinquent students who strayed far from the idyllic colors of our school.

“C’mon now, where’s the greeting? Been a while I got ‘ere in the morning, and I don’t get a single morn’ or something? Don’t yer guys at least have the empathy to say thank you for being’ere or something?”

“No I don’t, It’s just feeling tired after seeing such a heavy face in the morning. To begin with, there wasn’t any thank you and what not, and it’s not like I came to school just for you.”

“WHAT!? Don’t be ridiculous, I came to school because of you, Tohno! Isn’t this unfair!?”

“..........”

I have no words.

I do however question why am I ever close with this guy at all.

The guy who dyed his hair orange, with piercings on his ears. Wearing anti-social attire that would give out the bad image of being eager to fight anyone and anytime.

A free spirited outlaw who would flex his violence in the age where delinquent culture has slowly become out of fashion.

That’s him. The name’s Arihiko Inui.

“......Well isn’t that good. It’s a good thing that you come into the classroom early in the morning. Morning, Arihiko. Are you finally starting to get worried about your attendance rate?”

“Nope, I don’t think I cared that much. I still have room for more skippings. The reason why I can’t slack today is because my sister is around the house today.  Rather, I think I’m at my limit since I stayed up overnight.”

“Is that so? Sorry then, allow me to redo my greetings. Goodnight Arihiko. Go to your desk now and go to sleep.”

“Wow, what a cold response. Is this how yer treat your rival from our middle school days? Can’t yer give me a more passionate response!?”

“......Now how are we rivals here? If you want to live your life without things on track you could just go to the streets and find someone else who shares your interests. Just leave me alone.”

No, I mean, since he never paid back the total amount of 10,000yen I lent him during the middle school days, if you say he’s more like an enemy I’d agree wholeheartedly on that.

“Just why...just why would Tohno treat me so coldly here but acting like a saint when conversing with others. Ain’t dat unfair?”

“Oh, you sure are aware. You do know that there’s no such thing as being fair in this world”

“I mean yer right and all but I do think yer being too cold towards me, no?”

Arihiko lets out a big sigh.

It’s not that I purposely go my way to treat him with a cold attitude, but it’s just the result of being brutally upfront with each other without restraint, and it ended up creating this distance. It’s really just that.

Even though both our hobbies and interests are different, maybe we just share the same wavelength, that’s all.

“Well, putting aside that you ran away from home to come here, to see you coming to school early in the morning despite you being a night owl, just what kind of wind brought you here? It’s slightly, no, I mean it’s quite abnormal though?”

“Well I thought the same too. I’d say school is not some place where yer would just come here because you happen to be awake out of a whim sometimes. Honestly, I want to go home now, Hmm, so it takes willpower and determination for students to study?”

Well that’s exactly right but for this guy, it’s more of how it’s amazing for him to come here even without a single willpower or determination. That’s just how it feels.

“I don’t have time for a debate with you here so maybe next time, if you want to do so you could just look at the mirror and do it. What I want to know here is why wouldn’t you just get to the streets instead. Like go to a Karaoke or a manga cafe and spend your time there, wouldn’t that be better?”

“I mean it’s that, recently things are getting dangerous here. I wouldn’t be doing fights without getting paid here and I will only appear if I have the energy to attend in the first place”

“Dangerous…?”

“Yeah. I mean, Tohno yer would know too. That thing that is. I'm talking about the flamboyantly murder incident that is happening around recently. Since there are cops patrolling around Center Street in front of the station.”

“----Oh yeah. Now that did happen”

Now that Arima mentioned it, I remember.

Since the incident took place in the vicinity around Souya station, which is several stations away from the place that took care of me until yesterday, the incident itself was a complete stranger to me.

There were also news reports about it too

If I’m not mistaken ーー

“What is it again, I knew it was some really vulgar sales pitch.  

But “The midnight phantom killer incident” or something like that, if I’m not mistaken”

“An ongoing, bizzare murder incident. The victims are generally young women and the victim found 2 days ago, who was a monk, marked the 8th total victims so far. Furthermore, all of the victims have  a common cross-shaped scar found on their throats, and so on.”

The hell is that.  

It’s really hard to imagine that kind of situation here.

“It’s wrong, Inui-kun. All of the victims murdered have a common thing of losing a significant amount of blood in their body. “

Maybe our voices were so loud that Yumiduka, who was nearby, heard us and came over to correct us.

“Oh yeah yeah yeah, that’s right. It started as a headline saying it was a modern day vampire, ya. So thanks Yumiduka, and good morn’!”

“Yeah, and good morning to you too, Inui-kun. And err, to supplement that information further, the external injuries vary from person to person, with some having no scars at all and others having severe types of damage. I think?”

“You sure know a lot, Yumiduka-san”

“N-No, not at all! I mean it’s an incident that took place in this city, so if you look at the news you would remember them whether you like it or not”

“So yeah that’s why, Tohno. Even a person like me would not stroll out at night when the murderer is running free. That’s why I’ve been staying at home and pulling an all-nighter.”

“Oh so that’s what it is, so that’s the reason why. It was so reasonable that I was actually surprised. To think you would stay at home because you’re scared of the murderer, that’s so not like you.”

“What do you mean “it’s not like me”, I mean anyone would typically be afraid of a murderer. There’s a limit to surprise attacks when you have the murderer coming full force at me when I don’t have that energy to deal with it, you know. I’m definitely not getting myself into that. I don’t want to throw my life away just yet”

“Ah, is that so? That's right, I mean if you’re targeted you have no choice but to go along with it to the end”

“Look at yer. I mean, is the choice of running away not applicable to yer at all? Why would yer go along with it tho’?”

“? I mean, wouldn’t you be unable to escape in this case?”

“That’s it. I was an idiot for trying to debate with Tohno over this. To tell the truth, I don’t really care about the murderer either. I mean, that thing is a disaster, right? Whoever came across the murderer sure was unlucky. Rather there is another realistic reason why I don’t want to get to the streets here. I mean, recently there are a new bunch of idiots who appear around the northern station front. Honestly, I don’t want to see their faces at all.”

Northern station front….a bustling street that is located the opposite of the office street. The traffic volume is huge and there are a lot of people passing by as well, so it’s a city that never sleeps.

Arihiko is indeed someone who lives there and if it takes Arihiko to say that, it means these “new idiots” that pop up must be a very dangerous group.

“Have yer not heard of the group? “A measure of courage here. By entering the secret entrance and making their way to the underground, and reaching all the way through you’ll be able to get a large sum of money”, it seems”

“I think I’ve heard of that before but...isn’t that just a supernatural tale?”

“Yeah, it's been an urban legend since the old days, it seems. There are however a bunch of idiots who would use those words as a money-making scheme and took advantage of it. I don't know where these newcomers came from, but thanks to them, the atmosphere around that place is so bad that it’s no longer a joke. Any slightest thing that went off can trigger a fistfight. Yer know I basically don’t like to get hurt, yeah? And if things get out of hand it’ll definitely get the police involved. So I prefer to stay at home and be good until these people get caught.”

The urban legend that took place at the North Gate….Unfortunately, it’s not something I’ve heard of before, since I’m not a native there.

Though after today, it’s no longer a stranger thing to me anymore...I guess.

“What now, yer response sure doesn’t look big. Lemme guess, suffering from anemia since the morning and collapsed because of that?”

“No, I’m fine since morning. but I keep having anemia every time I don’t think my body can take it.”

“Well that’s definitely a given. If Tohno says he’s fine, then he’ll be fine.”

“Now the lesson will start soon. So get to your seat and go sleep already”

“Got it. ….oh, and today our lunch will be at the canteen, and I have a special guest called for today so you better look forward to that!”

After letting out a smirk and a laugh that sounds like he’s up to something, Arihiko then returns to his seat.

“I’ll see you later as well, Tohno-kun”

“Ah yeah, I am sorry to drag you into this”

With light steps, Yumiduka returned to her seat as well.

5 minutes after the chime that rang signifying the HR period, but the home teacher Toyama-sensei does not appear. As the HR period is about to end, the home teacher from the next class came over to inform us over the absence of Toyama-sensei today

“Hell yeah, it’s Mathematics! Self study time!”

A certain classmate held his fist high as if he won something.

Toyama-sensei is our math teacher, and since she’s absent, the class is now a self study period. As long as we finished our assignment print, we get to use the remaining time to do whatever we want.

As there are students who will use the time to study, there will be students who do use the time to play as well

As for me, I spent my time working on the math questions given. When I was still a kid,  I was told that it’s going to be hard for me to enroll in famous schools due to my body condition, but despite having stopped going to tuition during my middle school days, I still find studying to be interesting. So even if I end up furthering my studies, or enter the society workforce, whatever I’ve learnt during the time will not go to waste.

I raised my head up after solving several questions, the sight of the students at the corridor sight caught my attention.

Since I am sitting quite far away, I could only listen to bits and pieces of what was said.

“So it really…” “I can’t believe it….”

“I mean the teachers entered the faculty room with their faces pale blue during the morning training…”

“It was still a rumor” “but it just happened easily”

“That’s terrible, why would that thing happen”

Ahh, my eyebrows were raised over the fact that the unpleasant thoughts I had turned out to be true.

“The incident happened yesterday” “A group of detective-looking people entered the principal’s room”

I began applying resistance to the next topic that came through.

Though it’s something I’m already used to, I still breathe in and await the words to come, so as not to pass those words off as something mundane.

“I mean ーーーー Toyama was already dead since yesterday”

I closed my sight off slowly in order to take in the headache.

---

The morning lessons ended peacefully without the rumors about Toyama-sensei spreading like wildfire.

Recess time, and the classroom remained a mess.

Some went to the canteen, Some went to the courtyard, and some remained in the classroom and began putting their bento boxes on the table.

Now, I should go and have my lunch as well.

1. Meet up with Arihiko at the canteen.
2. Remain in the classroom and observe the situation
3. Get to the hallway first and think later.

Choice: 3

Recess time, and the hallway is full of students moving back and forth, and nothing short of a mess.

Most of them are making their way to the canteen, but among them also contain students bringing their bento walking their way to find their friend in another classroom. There are also a few making their way to the courtyard as well as the sports room too.

 While thinking whether to join the flow and make my way to the canteen and settle my lunch there, or just buy bread and just casually get my purchase done, the sight of Senpai can be seen in the hallway.

“.......?”

Am I thinking too much?

Looks like she’s heading straight at me…?

“I’m glad. I was looking for you, Tohno-kun. Saves me the time required to get to your classroom.”

“O...Oh I mean thank you. Good afternoon, Ciel-senpai”

Suddenly I felt embarrassed, and gave her a very low spirited reply.

“Yes, good afternoon to you too. But since we met earlier, so I don’t think “Good afternoon” was the right greeting though”

“Y-Yeah, now that you say this, you’re right”

This makes me even more embarrassed, so I looked away.

….What’s this I wonder.

I should have gotten used to speaking with senpai here, but it makes me even more conscious about it. I wonder if it’s because she saw me getting lost in thought, alone in the morning.

“Tohno-kun? You don’t seem to be at ease, are you in a hurry or something?”

“No, I ain’t in a hurry, not at all”.

It’s just me being very concerned with Ciel-senpai’s every action, but I couldn’t say it out loud.

“And rather than that, Senpai, you seem to be looking for me, what is it?”

“Ah yes, I mean, I gave you trouble this morning, didn’t I? So I was looking for you because I want to make it up”

“Trouble this morning you say…? Oh, you mean during the train ride? But rather than trouble it’s more like a side benefit”

I mean, it was fun talking with senpai.

And thanks to that I did not feel the time has passed during the journey to the station.

“But I mean, we did cause the girl to get angry and we got scolded, didn't we? So that’s the make up I’m referring to. Though I have to ask this trivial question to Tohno-kun, are you heading to lunch from now on?”

“ That’s right, I was wondering whether to just settle my lunch at canteen or just get a take away”

“That’s nice, then we’re going together. I’ll treat you for the things that happened this morning, so let’s head on to the canteen.”

“Eh?”

With a smile on Senpai’s face, she grabbed my arm as we move along.

Having a 3rd year student walking on the hallway where 2nd year students usually are is already a special sight, so having her doing so stands out even more.

All the eye sights from the student in the hallway now turned to us, with a commotion.

“Wa...I mean wait a minute…! I mean I was the one at fault this morning, so there is no need for you to apologize…! Actually it’s the other way round, I should be the one apologizing!”

Feeling embarrassed and blushing red over it, I stand away from Senpai.

“Hoh, I can’t ignore this. So Tohno-kun is the one to apologize instead. In other words, Tohno-kun will be the listening to my one request as a punishment, so that works too huh”

“ーーーー”

Accepting the sight of Senpai who’s making the tease here, my cheek is getting even hotter, on top of already hot to begin with.

“No, I mean it was just a figure of speech”

“So just give up and bring me to the canteen, if you please. I mean I am feeling like having lunch today with anyone. Think of it as being unlucky and get treated by me”

...This is just mean.

There is no way anyone could refuse that, I mean, not after saying that with a smile.

“...Sigh. Getting treated you say, but I say this is the opposite, Senpai”

“I mean, I did have fun after all. It’s true. So let’s get moving to the canteen! If we don’t hurry, the seats will all be taken!”

Ciel-senpai once again took my hand and we started walking in the hallway, zooming through.

I guess it’s before the canteen got crowded, so the canteen tables looked empty. Though there are already students lining up at the counter, and orders will take roughly 5 minutes….or something like that.

“I'll queue up now so Tohno-kun will reserve the seats until I come back. Do you have anything you dislike? Please let me know if you have any, now’s the chance to say it before it’s too late”

“No I don’t. I am not picky on food”

“A splendid answer. Alright, I’ll be moving out”

Not waiting for a reply here, Ciel-senpai proceeded to move to the order queue to line up.

“........”

Well looks like I’ll have to accept that I’m getting treated for this lunch.

“A seat for two….if possible a corner seat would be nice…”

I doubt I have that confidence having to mentally bear the case that I’ll be having lunch with Ciel-senpai.

Therefore I just have to find a seat where people won’t be able to pour their attention on us.

After a look around, though there are empty seats at around the middle, the corner seats are unfortunately taken due to the student’s belongings taking it.

At this point, to have 2 seats where we can sit together seems ーーーー

“ーーーーOh, there is”

“....Sigh”

However, a familiar face is doing the exact thing of taking up the position on that table.

“Yooo, Tohno! Here, over here!”

That orange head delinquent, without a care over his surroundings, made big movements by waving his hands. Oh god that’s a headache.

Even so it’s just rude to ignore him, and there are no more corner seats available.

In a way, I’ll become a person who ignores human contact if I do so. Might as well utilize that advantage and use that so-called friend for this purpose then.

“Yer late! Didn’t I tell you there’s going to be a special guest? This is not the time for yer to slack around for this grand purpose”

“Ahhh, you did mention that earlier I think. So, where is this special guest then?”

“Umm, on that. She said that she could insert that in her schedule, but after this morning she rejected that, saying “I have someone I need to apologize to so I don’t think I’ll make it for today’s lunch since I’ll be busy” or  something like that”

Arihiko said with a disappointed tone, dropping his shoulders over it while eating his Chikara Udon.

“....A person she need to apologize to”

Somehow this sounds familiar

“The special guest you say...is it a third-year?”

“...Oof wha!?”

“Short haired girl with glasses, a very cheerful girl who moves a lot, on top of that who is also reliable?”

“What is this, since when did you steal her away from me?”

“...No I mean, it’s not that, but…”

“Sorry for the wait, is this the seat here, Tohno-kun?”

Senpai, with her smile gleaming brightly, made her way back.

And her both hands brought over a 2-man portion tray, stacking them on top of the table.

“Oh wow!?”

“Oh? Hi Inui-kun, what a coincidence”

Senpai then moved naturally to take her seat, sitting opposite where I am --- in other words, just beside Inui-kun.

“O---Ohh, Ohhhhhhhh?!”

Arihiko raised his voice while being confused. Perhaps not being able to deal well with the sudden luck that befalls him. I mean I understand how that feels, since I was like that too, until now.

“Here you go Tohno-kun. Don’t hold back and eat it to your hearts full”

And so, there is no way I could have rejected it when facing that smile.

I surrendered myself, and then sat opposite Ciel-senpai.

“If that’s the case, thank you for the meal”

After clapping my hands, I lower my sights and look at the tray that senpai brought over.

“....?”

The menu that was shown before me was...curry rice, curry rice and lastly, curry udon.

“..........”

I think I’m a little bit lost.

“Eh...Senpai?”

“Yes? What is it, Tohno-kun”

“No I mean ーー What is this here?”

“What, you say, I mean it’s lunch for both Tohno-kun and I, isn’t it? Is there anything else?”

“Anything else you ask...but I saw nothing but curry….”

“Of course, it’s everyone’s favorite, the curry set meal.”

I mean it’s obvious. The problem is that it’s nothing but curry.

“There are 3 dishes here…”

“Of course. Since Tohno-kun is a growing boy here, you should really eat more. I’m fine with just ala carte here so just pick one that you like”

“Alright then, I’ll take the curry rice and curry udon”

Any combination other than that is just an additional portion anyway.

“Don’t leave anything behind, eat them all okay? I mean, Tohno-kun has no preference at all!”

“ーーーー”

What a smile without malice coming from senpai.

Not even a single joke nor spite made here, completely devoid of any mischievous intent, a perfect goodwill coming from senpai.

“I’ll dig in”

I then took my spoon and started digging into the curry rice out of desperation.

And then

“Yer bastard, Tohno-kun!”

The man who previously died finally restarted himself.

“What the hell. C’mon ‘ere! Just how much longer are yer going to ignore your irreplaceable best friend here!? Yer have a word aren’t ya! Like hey, thank you for being alive Inui-kun, by the way I’m going to introduce you to my fantastic senpai, and oh I’m busy so I’m going to make my way to the courtyard so both of you have fun talking together...or something like that, no!? You have it don’t you! Oh and if you have leftovers then pass me your curry udon will ya!”

“I’m not. But, sure, thank you for being always alive, Inui-kun”

Arihiko’s arms can be seen extending.

Guarding the curry udon from the wicked hands of his.

“Eh, Inui-kun, you know Tohno-kun?”

“What are you talking about, senpai? Not just acquaintances but we’ve been best buddies since middle school!

That so-called best buddy trying to convince with a sparkling face.

“Oh is that so. I’m sorry for breaking the promise. I mean, the person I mentioned that I brought trouble to this morning is indeed Tohno-kun.”

“Oh it’s fine it’s fine. It makes sense anyway. Rather, if yer just told me his name I would have just brought him here anyway. So, what terrible things did he do to yer anyway?”

“I bumped into him this morning in the train while being in a hurry, and we just kept chatting out loud to the point we got scolded by other passengers. Really, I should have paid more attention to my own surroundings. Even Tohno-kun wasn’t at fault, he got dragged in and got scolded as well”

“Huh. Morning train ride yer say. I mean it’s yer all freedom to gossip around anyway….Hmm? Morning? I get that Tohno-kun does that, but Senpai, yer actually commute to school on the train?”

“I was making my way back from volunteer activities. Picking up rubbish from the garden. You saw the recruitment drive on the school’s notice board right? The one where all students are free to participate.”

“Ahh, the one from Kaihin Park. That’s expected of yer Senpai. Thank you for yer hard work. But y’know that it’s because of this that teachers heavily depend on yer here. Hope yer don't let them get too carried away, because they're always slacking off whenever they get a chance.”

“It’s alright. I do it because I want to. Besides, the teachers here always work hard for the sake of the students here, so I can’t say I’m impressed with what you just said.”

Ciel-senpai who directly waves away Arihiko’s opinions that are full of holes.

Though at the surface it seems that Arihiko is also doing well with senpai here.

“Senpai, don’t tell me that you’re working as a volunteer on a daily basis?”

“What Tohno, don’t you know? Ciel-senpai is what we call an all-purpose girl to the point she’s called the de-facto president of the student council”

“I’m aware. Unlike our student council which is just a title at best, she’s a third year student who solves everything perfectly.”

“Yeah. She even attracted the first years to establish a fan club, and even the teachers would reply with “Just talk to Ciel-senpai and your problems will be solved” whenever there is trouble brewing, to the point they’re just not worth depending on. So whatever she does now, no teachers would come out and complain about it.”

Arihiko explains it as if he’s proud of that fact.

“....I am not aware that she even has a fan club here. You sure are amazing, Ciel-senpai. To the point even teachers start depending on you on this is definitely not a small feat.”

I look at senpai, feeling amazed.

“Ahh yes. I mean, Thank you”

Senpai then quickly picks up her spoon and starts stirring her curry rice around.

I suppose she’s trying to hide her embarrassment, but I guess this also reminded me of my immediate enemy as well. Not only curry rice but holding back on the curry udon as well.

Though doctors did warn me not to eat too much, I definitely won’t be able to face her if I don’t get both of these down.

Guess I’ll enjoy the curry rice before my stomach gets full.

In the meanwhile, Senpai and Arihiko talked about their own families.

I’m aware that Arihiko’s parents are no longer here, but it seems that Ciel-senpai is living alone as well.

Senpai’s apartment seems to be located quite near to Souya station, where her residence apartment is located not from the North Gate where the shopping quarters are, but just east side of the South Gate.

“I see, I see. So what about Tohno-kun? Where do you live?”

“Yes?”

As I continue eating my curry rice without saying a word, Senpai then turns the conversation focus to me.

“Well rather than where, err... more like it’ll be  hard for me to answer this question…”

Because I just changed my living address today.

It feels rather awkward trying to explain the situation. So I wanted to leave it unanswered and just laugh it off if possible…

….Guess with that earnest look at me, I don’t think even bad lies would cut it.

“....Let me preface that with a question. Why would senpai want to know where I live?”

“Eh? You know, Tohno-kun, you were the one to ask the location of my apartment, right? So I thought it’d be fair to ask you the same or else….Err, is it weird?”

“Well, it is a bit weird. But to think senpai would fine that unfair, you do worry about the strangest things here, senpai”

“Muh. I don’t think it’s strange. I mean if I don’t know where you live, I wouldn’t be able to visit you when required to, yes?”

My mouth that’s munching the curry rice has stopped.

Somehow I felt as if I’ve been told something that made me slightly happy.

“.....Visit, you say. Does this mean, for example, a home visit where you’ll come see me if I get sick?”

“No. Why would I go? For now I don’t think I have that planned.”

“.........”

Though the words said made me a little happy.

I wasn’t planning to be mean to senpai at all.

I see. In other words this person is an airhead.

“My house is located on this street. Roughly 30 minutes with walking. I mean, once you arrive at the suburb from the North Gate, there’s a residence area at the hilltop, yes? From there you just have to go further in.”

“Ahh yea yea, I heard that yer moving today?”

Arihiko who intentionally interjects to make a quick response.

While senpai tilts her head a little, slightly confused.

“Moving, you say. So Tohno-kun you’re a transfer student?”

“Huh?”

What funny words from senpai.

I then looked at Arihiko and both our eyes met without saying a word.

“You know. I have been here since my first year at this school, and we should have at least met face to face during that time isn’t it? So how did you come to the conclusion that I’m a transfer student?”

“But Tohno-kun, you said “moving” ーー”

“Not everyone can be a transfer student just because they moved. I only changed my address, I did not change schools however. I lived in my relative’s house prior to moving back, so I’m returning to my actual home today. “

With an insensible surprised face from senpai, she seems to fully understand the situation now.

“So it’s just your house address changed. That you moved to the residence located at the suburb”

“That’s right. To that bombastic place located at the hilltop”

“I see, now everything connects. So this means, that house you mentioned here is the Tohno residence?”

Ciel-senpai presented her question with little hesitation.

To the people of the streets, that western mansion located at the hilltop definitely looked special to them.

Though I have not returned to that place for 7 years, to me, the Tohno Mansion that I remember is like a castle.

“That’s right. Even though I do think it’s a place I don’t feel that I belong to, since I moved there, it can’t be helped.”

“Hmmm...guess by looking at things, don’t think yer feel up for it. Though it’s yer home but it has been 7 years since then so I guess yer actual home will look and feel foreign to you right now”

“I wonder. I’m not there still so I can’t say. But well I guess I still have your house as an evacuation center so I do feel at ease.”

“What’s that now yer say!? Stop messing around, mah house is not your beacon point, y’know. To think yer could just come to mah house during the holidays. Now thanks to that my sister is more of a fan of my friend Tohno than me, and mah pocket money keeps getting less every year!”

That’s due to Arihiko’s bad conduct I think, though I’ll refrain myself from saying it since it’ll just complicate things further.

To be honest, it’s not a fun topic to talk about when it comes to the Tohno family.

“Heeh, you two sure are close.”

“No we’re not. Even if there are things that would require us to struggle we’ll definitely not join hands for it. In other words we’re enemies yer know my mademoiselle.

“But Tohno-kun is close to the point that he used to live at Inui-kun’s house, wasn't he? Wouldn’t that mean both of you are close.”

“Yer’re wrong senpai. Tohno would escape here to live at my home during long holidays just because he felt uncomfortable living at his old home. This bastard, he’s just doing this out of consideration of the person who adopted him. Because of that he’s just here to roll around my house whenever there’s open space, and since he looks good my sister ends up liking him and that’s why she always extends her hand on him whenever he needs a place to escape to!”

Arihiko’s fist shakes, as if to tell that he’ll never forgive me for it.

….I see, so that’s the reason why...Guess I’ll bring souvenirs if I go there next time.

“.....Being left in charge, Tohno-kun was?”

Arihiko then gasps, trying to control his words.

He then let out a bitter smile trying to cover his awkwardness as if he mentioned something unsuitable.

“Don’t mind it. It’s not like it’s a bad thing anyway”

I said that while eating my curry rice, without looking at Arihiko’s face.

“Is that so...well, that makes sense. Since you will get what you deserve if you complain.

Arihiko says so while nodding, seemingly convinced. I do think that kind of sharp optimism coming from him is actually more of a beauty than anything else.

“......I’m sorry, Tohno-kun. Err, did things not go well with your previous family or something?”

“No, that’s not true. This guy didn’t have any bad blood with the Arima family at all. Everyone was super nice there. Well, except for the head of the Arima family, which is quite scary. But when asked whether he’s fine with being adopted he rejected it, and whenever holidays comes he’ll just escape to my place. Just what is he unsatisfied with, really.”

“There’s no way I’m unsatisfied. Since they treated me so well, I thought I don’t want to add anymore burden to them”

The plate is now empty.

And the remaining would be the curry udon, enough for one portion.

As shown, senpai doesn’t seem to be in good spirits.

“I’m sorry, Ciel-senpai. It was a boring conversation I bet.”

“That’s not true. I should be the one to apologize since I asked such a strange question”

Senpai forced herself to pick her spirits up.

Pretty sure that Arihiko, a friend of mine from middle school, would not realize this, but having a conversation like that with senpai would just end up bringing trouble.

To tell the truth, I bet that she’s fidgeting because she feels out of place right now.

“Ahh, sorry senpai. We’re going to have a secret conversation, just the two of us here so I’m sorry but can yer excuse us for a bit?”

Arihiko sure made a remark like this easily.

Without making a roundabout expression, he just straight up went “Right you’re a nuisance so please leave” on her.

“What the hell are you talking about, we can just talk secrets anywhere else, and senpai is ーー”

ーー already done.

She’s been talking to Arihiko so much just now, yet she’s already done with her meal, and what’s left is a curry rice plate that is now empty.

“No, no, I mean I understand that. So intruders should not be here anymore. Now if you could excuse me”

After standing up and giving a light bow, she left.

Now it’s just me and Arihiko left at the table.

“Sigh. I mean it’s already awkward for senpai to be here, and I could have done the same, but that was a close call you know? You’re going to lower your likability here.”

“Mmm, I mean that can’t be helped isn’t it. I was the one who said it, so I’m fine with that hate here”

Arihiko then proceeds to slurp his chikara udon after saying it. Though it got cold due to being too absorbed in speaking with senpai earlier.

“Don’t tell me you’re aiming at senpai?”

“I mean, everyone in the school would do that, wouldn't it? Ciel-senpai is an outstanding lady in this school anyway. But well, since she’s the type of girl who would mind about the conversation we had just now, so it’s whatever, really. It’s true that Tohno has secrets that shouldn’t be said so openly”

“.......?”

Arihiko’s tone turned somewhat serious.

Regardless, after snapping the wooden chopsticks into half, he begins eating the curry udon.

“What now, that sounded disgusting with that suddenly serious attitude of yours. Did you do something?”

“It’s not that. What I want to hear from yer here is what do yer really think right now”

“I mean, about what?”

“Listen here, Tohno, yer were being left in care at another place during yer elementary school days yes? I know not what the reason is but it has been 7 years since. Why would yer father, the one who disowned yer called yer back anyway”

“I have not been disowned. It’s just being told to get out of the mansion”

“Y’ know, Tohno-kun. If there’s a family that would chase their kid away for some nilly-willy reason, that’s no longer a tragedy, that's just a joke. But y’see, there we go, on the brink of being such a cold joke that yer couldn’t laugh at!”

To tell the truth, even before getting admitted to hospital over that traffic incident, my relationship with my father hasn’t been great.

The Tohno family has been a prestigious family since the ancient days, and their situation just doesn't fit with the general common sense.

What was in my childhood memories were that huge mansion, and the pressure of that family lesson that seemed to be stuck with the old times, like that mansion itself.

The Tohno family, being also the wealthy family, owns stocks of several companies as well. My father, Makihisa Tohno, was a businessman and seems to be an overall average person, but since he inherited a sufficient amount of wealth from grandfather, business under his leadership has been smooth sailing.

An anachronistic mansion.

An elite life that puts manners and history above everything else

Can’t be helped that this kind of life at the mansion would be boring for a child’s mind.

So when I was being told that I’ll be under the care of the Arima family, it didn’t take much nor I struggled to get out of the house and accept living my life there instead.

It was a positive one in the end.

I managed to live my life well under the care of the Arima family. Both my foster mother Keiko-san, as well as my foster father Fumiomi-san treated me as if I’m their actual son.

I guess it was also due to longing for a normal family, so this resulted in Shiki Tohno lived happily there like he’s the actual son of the Arima family.

I don’t think I’ll regret that.

Although just one - that I left behind my one and only sister Akiha in that Tohno mansion is the only regret I had.

I’m sure Akiha would end up alienating me…her brother, Shiki Tohno because of this.

No, not just alienated, I’d say that it’s natural that she’ll hate me.

Leaving her behind alone in that mansion probably made her live her life with that hard-headed, stubborn father since.

It’s not hard to imagine how she’d think of her brother who nonchalantly left the house and escaped to the outside.

“You’re right...it’s true that it’s be a joke if I got chased out for some nilly willy reasons”

“I know right? And then there’s this line about never stepping on the house anymore after this. In the normal world, we call this getting disowned. I didn’t hear this until now. So I’ll ask, why were you disowned anyway?”

“............”

……..I wonder.

That’s actually what I want to know as well.

“Well if you don’t wanna share, that’s fine”

Holding up the bowl with both his hands, Arima proceeded to slurp the soup dry.

It was a short recess. So I quickly got my meal done, taking cues from Arima’s habit of speed eating.

After school.

Not feeling the urge to return to that mansion, I absentmindedly look out the schoolyard window.

The sight of evening sunset colored the classroom in orange. It does make my eyes feel a little uncomfortable due to the colors looking like it’s from washed out watercolor red paint.

I’m certainly not good with crimson colors.

Like it’s trying to soak my inner eyeballs, to the point it makes me feel like vomiting.

….Looks like I’m not good with things that are related to blood.

To be precise, it’s more like I have a body condition that is weak to blood.

7 years ago,  Shiki Tohno experienced a near death incident.

I was told that there was a huge accident that happened and I was caught up in the collapsed building.

Normally, it would be an instant death, it was so bad that it could let anyone around to give up on saving me.

Though the doctors were quick to respond to that, and luckily the wound was gathered at one spot instead so I miraculously survived the incident, or so it seems.

….Though it sounded like other people’s affairs once I look back on the incident, so it can’t be helped that the whole thing sounded like a speculation.

One day, suddenly I got involved in an incident, and something pierced through the middle of my chest, and from there I just lost my consciousness.

It’s like a machine that forcefully got its power source shut down.  

What’s left are the memories of suffering, and feeling cold, and after coming to my senses, I woke up finding myself lying on the bed of the hospital.

Even today, the scar remains.

According to the accounts, it seems that I got pounded hard on something when I fell, and the glass fragments ended up piercing through my chest.

Thanks to that, there’s a burn looking scar located at the middle of my chest and my back.

Such a scar that was so horrible that could make me pass out at any moment after looking directly at my body after the wounds have been closed.

Since then, I ended up developing a frequent anemia that caused me to faint sometimes and that caused a lot of trouble to people around me.

My father…..Makihisa Tohno then judged that I do not possess sufficient capability to take over the Tohno family. So it explains the reason why I was left in care of the Arima family.

“My chest wounds, eh”

...Holding back the nauseating feeling that weils up.

The pain that feels like a needle trying to stab through my eyeballs, I breathe in deeply and deal with it.

The traces of death that are located at the center of my chest, hidden by the uniform I wear.

Since the incident, I also develop a body condition of being table to view the “Lines”

Though it’s thanks to the glasses that sensei gave me that I was able to live normally until now, without that person I would have already gone crazy for a long time now.

Keiko-san was worried about how the people of Tohno are different from the norm when we parted ways this morning.

That worry was unnecessary.

Why? ----------

Because if we’re talking about abnormalities, then we're the ones who are not in the right mind.

“.................”

After fixing the glasses that were about to slip off, I took my bag by hand.

I can’t keep on staying in this classroom.

So I ーー

1. Stay around longer in school
2. Return to the mansion.

Choice: 1

…..I’m still not yet ready to return to my actual home.

Though it’s not that I have anything else to do, I might as well stray around the school so that I can calm myself down before moving?

Come to think of it, I remembered the promise I made to someone during the morning.

“......That’s right. Wasn’t there a conversation about showing myself at the tea ceremony club?”

To remember something like this during this moment is somewhat of a fate

Since there’s still time, I might as well pay my visit to the tea ceremony club.

The tea ceremony club room is located at the corner of the club activity building.

It took me 10 minutes to get here. The reason why it took me some time to search for the room is because nobody knew where the tea ceremony club room was.

In the end, I had to get to the faculty room and grab the school map and found the location of the club room, and that’s how I got here.

“Excuse me. Senpai, are you here?”

Knocking on the vertical door, and calling her out.

After a moment,

“Oh my. I wondered who it was, it’s Tohno-kun.”

A familiar face, which is Ciel-senpai,  appeared.

“Don’t tell me you’re here to visit? No, I take that you’re here for a visit. Come, come. If that’s the case please come in. You came at the right time too as I wanted to have a talk with you!”

“....R-Right. if you say so I’ll come in then”

Despite being slightly bewildered, I bring myself to the room, considering I’m the guest she’s been looking for today.

Without going against senpai, I entered the tea ceremony club room.

To think the club room would be a lot more genuine than I expected.

Rather, it’s a complete Japanese room.

“......I’m surprised. I didn’t know that our school would actually have this classroom at all. This completely looked like a hobby room”

“I thought so too, at the outset it’s a room for the purpose of club activities. I guess we have our principal to thank for. Of course, the room wasn’t used until I enroll into this school”

After entering the tatami mat in advance, senpai proceeds to prepare tea.

“The room was not in use until you got here?”

“That’s right. Furthermore, it was a waste that  the tea ceremony club was just a fictional club with no members! Sweets are a form of emotional stabilizer. Having the beautiful tradition of Japanese snacks getting phased out is like taking away the smiles of the city. No, more like deserting the puppy who got thrown away during heavy rain! So I made a request to the teachers to allow the tea ceremony club to reopen. Although I’m the only person in the club right now, we may be able to get the club running once the membership reaches 5 people.”

“I..Is that right. Senpai, you really like sweets don’t you”

Though I don’t think this is the actual essence of the tea ceremony.

“Yes. Though my actual interest is on western snacks, there is no distinction for snacks that are delicately made. Regardless I’ve been active as the captain of the tea ceremony club since. Thanks to that I get to use the room however I like during recess time or after school time. So Tohno-kun, you’re free to come here if you need me for anything. I’ll most likely be here after school.”

“I...Is that so”

Is this mixing personal and business affairs, or is this some sort of secret base I wonder.

Though I feel honored being invited by Ciel-senpai, does this actually contribute to the revival of the tea ceremony club?

“But to think Tohno-kun would be curious about it. I knew I was the one who invited you but to think you would bring yourself all the way here. Don’t tell me that you are actually the carnivore type, despite how you look?”

That teasing heated up the back of my neck.

I thought I’d just stop by, not here for the purpose of courting girls ---- that I want to rebuke that only to realize that it will end up as an excuse.

“No….really, I don’t have any particular reason to be here but…”

It’s understandable to be called out by Ciel-senpai on that.

To come here because getting told that “if you’re interested do come to the tea ceremony” earlier this morning is probably not possible to me in normal circumstances.

“.......Oh, excuse me then. I may have overdid it.”

After muttering out alone, senpai proceed to clap with both her hands

“ーーーーugh”

The red sunlight that shines through the window made me squint my eyes.

As I got myself occupied with strangeness of the tea club ceremony, senpai proceeds to reach out to the drawer and bring the cushion out and place it on top of the tatami mat

“.........................”

Though tea being tea and all that, it turned out to be quite a serious tea party here.

“I mean, senpai, I’m not really good at those kind of manners”

“That’s not a problem at all. I myself don’t really know much except tea ceremony procedures anyway. So Tohno-kun, feel free to ease yourself”

What was brought out was the teapot and teacup, as well as the snacks.

The snacks seem to be minicakes or senbei in packets that you could find in any convenience store. I see now, it’s really just a tea party and chit-chat, it seems.

“We’re just having casual conversations here so let’s not get formal about it. It won’t be fun if we do so. You don’t have to do a seiza, you can sit however you want, okay?”

With a gentle smile on senpai’s face, I then shift my attention to the 2 teacups that are being  filled with tea.

“....Huh. What with being earnest or generous and all, I really don’t understand you well, senpai.”

I then proceed to grab the teacup that is handed to me, and gradually sip it through.

Though not being involved here, the Arima family used to be the head of school in the tea ceremony. Maybe it’s due to the family upbringing that I don’t feel foreign over the sight of passing time through drinking tea in a Japanese room.

I slowly drink my tea as if to swallow down time.

….and then.

With a troubled face, senpai proceeds to gaze at the condition over here.

“What’s wrong, senpai? you seem gloomy here”

“Eh? Ah I mean, somehow Tohno-kun looked more calm and steady than I do, so I was a bit surprised there”

“Oh, it’s just that I’m used to this since I originally came from a family with strict upbringing. More importantly, senpai, I heard you want to talk to me about something, so what was it?”

“Oh, that’s right. Actually the conversation we had during afternoon really concerns me”

“...The conversation had at noon, you mean, about my actual home?”

Senpai nodded.

“Only if you don’t mind talking about it, that is. I mean, to move over during this period makes me think that maybe something not nice happened, or something”

“I don’t think it would make an interesting conversation listening to stories about my family. Personally, I think that itself is a waste of time”

“That’s fine. I mean I was the one that asked, anyway”

“....Sigh. You really are a curious one, senpai.”

Senpai then let out a smile, saying “probably so”.

“So let’s continue our conversation. You mentioned that you’re going back to your own home. But have you not returned to your own home prior to that?”

“Yes. A lot of things happened and I have not been going home for nearly 7 years. Think of it as living a life of recuperation...or something like that. I also went through an accident during 10, and because of that I developed chronic anemia. From there, something happened at Tohno family that made it somewhat chaotic, so I moved to my relative’s house until all things calmed down. That happened until yesterday”

“Ah...must be hard on you there. So, have your wounds healed?”

“Sure, the wound has healed up completely. Though the anemia was an after effect, but since my father told me I seemed to have that already before I experience that incident anyway, so I didn’t really mind”

“Oh is that so…..I’m sorry for having you talk about this. So this means the so-called relative of yours would be your parents that brought you up since 10...is that right?”

“That’s right. They’re from the Arima family, and they treat me very well, so much I don’t think I deserve it.”

I expressed my thanks to these people without having to care about the words I say.

Throughout seven years, I really feel happy by just being there.

“So it’s a past tense, yes? So you knew that you would eventually return to your actual home, that the people from the Arima family did not treat you as if you’re a member of that family...is that right?”

“Eh? No, that’s not it. I didn’t think I’d be called home to the Tohno family. Both me or Keiko-san thought that we would be living together forever like this.”

“So you knew that you wouldn’t be called back? Despite being the elder son of the Tohno family?”

“Yes….truth to be told, living a rehabilitation life is just a front. Both me and my father don’t have a very good relationship here, and I was abandoned under the pretense of body injury”

“.....Are you sure this wasn’t a misunderstanding?”

“ Yes I’m pretty sure. Though that’s even better if it was a misunderstanding.”

I tried to be honest as much as I could, replying to senpai’s questions.

I’m sure my lips were smiling.

Though that person, with her thoughtfulness full of warmth, rebuked what I’ve said earlier, saying “Maybe both of you were just in disagreement”.

“However, I don’t think I’ll be able to confirm this anymore. As recently that person itself is already registered as those among the dead. My father died suddenly, and the disagreements we had are now brought to a close, concluded without any end.”

Although,

That’s only if that thing we call disagreement actually exists to begin with.

“So your father passed away. And thanks to that you’re able to move back home.”

“That’s right, the new head of the family asked me to head back quickly, at the prompting of an arrow. Since it becomes unsettling, I decided that I’ll go back today”

Cutting off this short conversation.

I’m sure Ciel-senpai has her own thoughts about it, but she returned her gaze at me after letting out a short sigh.

“Do you mind if I ask this?”

With a serious voice, she straightens up her back without thought.

“Sure. As long as it’s within my ability to answer”

“Is that so? Then I shall, without holding back”

“I know you just talked about the people of Arima in past tense. I take that you already thought of cutting off your relation with these people, yes? So Tohno-kun, do you really dislike your previous family to the point where you would refer to them as such?”

My previous family ーー Must be about the family that raised me over the 7 year period.

Both father and mother… who aren't my real parents.

An unfamiliar building that is the house of my relatives.

However, this has nothing to do with it ーーーー

“No, I really love them. They are people who paid no attention to the fact that we aren’t blood related whatsoever; they were so warm to the point I would feel depressed or alone just thinking about it. I was able to believe in that unquestionable love they gave me, and I was able to avoid thinking how naive I would be for doubting it.”

ーー These people poured their love on me.

          Which is why, I felt the need to make my effort,

          To make them feel as if they’re my real family, as quickly as possible

Those were the words I made myself believe when I was young.

….Really, since a long time ago.

Feels like I've been vowing over it again and again for so long that I've lost my mind.

“ーーーーHowever, it didn’t work”

“Yes. We call that having the personality of falling in and out of love quickly, which I believe I’m that kind of person.”

No matter how much I’m loved or being happy over it, it quickly became something else entirely on the next day.

Unable to take that in as if it’s my own problem, and that feeling couldn’t last long no matter how hard I try.

Therefore, at the very least...

At least I try not to forget the facts I find important to me, and I work hard to retain that feeling.

“In terms of family, this itself is remarkable. I am unable to repay my love stronger than the love my father and mother gave to me. Therefore ----”

Since I can no longer do so, the fact that they are not my real family could never leave my head.

It might be caused by the terrible traumas I had since I was a kid. No matter where I go, the concept of family always ends up being a stranger’s concern, instead of an issue of my own.

Senpai turn silent.

Turning away her eyesight, she regretfully shrugged her shoulders off.

“See, I told you it was boring. I’m sorry, senpai, to have wasted your time like this.”

“No, please don’t be. It was a meaningful conversation”

Senpai forcefully put herself a smile in order to soften the mood

“But I’m surely surprised. I actually thought Tohno-kun is a carefree person who go on his own merry way”

“I mean I am basically a carefree person. “Just have fun with life if possible” is my current favorite motto right now. So rather than to hang onto something that already ended, wouldn’t it be happier to look forward to the future instead?”

Though that’s just second hand knowledge I got from Arihiko.

“To look forward to the future, you say. I like that. It really made me want to give all of my support. But to enjoy as much as you can, eh…...Fufu. For the time being, how about going to school together starting tomorrow?”

“Eh ーーーー”

That sudden invitation surely is shocking….Rather,  I finally realized that I had been out of character when talking about myself earlier.

“Ah no,  no, that’s not what I meant! What I meant by having fun was just something akin to wishful thinking, or rather isn't there a step-by-step process that we had to go through first before saying those persuasive words!?”

“Yes, I was just joking. I am well aware that Tohno-kun is a gentlemen here”

…..Though it feels a bit of a pity here, but I’ll settle with this considering there’s no misunderstandings born from it.

After regaining control of myself, I continued drinking.

Thanks to that long conversation earlier, the tea turned moderately cold by now.

---

After that, we continued talking for about an hour.

Though it was fun having to talk to senpai since she would gladly listen to the conversation, but since I wasn’t used to it, it sort of tired me out.

Especially on the conversation about the school trip, but senpai couldn’t make it to the school trip however since she had to take a rest due to fever.

“Middle school 2nd year… that would mean Tohno-kun was 14 years old at that time. I would like to see how Tohno-kun was like from that time”

With her laughing over it made me blush in red.

Though we didn’t run out of topics to talk about, the sun, however, is starting to set down.

Since the tea ceremony club room is closing soon, I took the initiative and left the room in advance, and left the school right after.

Walking the path back home on a road different than the usual.

After walking through a row of ordinary houses, I entered the next residential area with spacious and luxurious houses.

Gradually, I inch myself closer to the Tohno mansion.

It’s not a scenery foreign to me.

7 years ago ーー tracing through the memories of living at the Tohno mansion until the age of 10 really made me feel the nostalgia here.

Though having slightly complicated feelings here, the path back home was still nostalgic and in a way, fresh.

Moving up slowly to the hilltop.

The sight of houses around me starts to disappear.

The smell of the green tickling my nostril.

Despite being at the center of this city, I can feel the air that rejects modernity.

From this spot onwards is the land that belongs to the Tohno.

The mansion where Shiki Tohno lived until the age of 10.

What lies ahead is the old memories, as well as the blood relationship that didn’t go well.

…..Even so, there is only one left that remains in that mansion right now.

The father that I used to dislike ーー The previous head of the Tohno family, Makihisa Tohno, passed away a few days ago.

Mother, after giving birth to Akiha, also passed away from sickness.

Therefore, the only member of Tohno that’s left would be the two of us: me, and my sister Akiha.

Originally the one who would take on the reins of the Tohno family was me, Shiki Tohno, the eldest son of the family, but I no longer have that right anymore.

To take over the family as the head would mean to receive a rigid education of the family.

Me, who didn’t like it and lived freely, probably wouldn’t know how many times Makihisa (my father) grumbled over this.

And then I ended up getting involved in an accident, which left me physically defective, which fortunately made Makihisa settle on the decision to abandon me.

As he would say “Even if you’re the eldest son, there is no way someone that weak who could have died anytime could become the successor of the family”.

Though I ended up recovering from it and betrayed his expectations, the decision of having my sister Akiha taking the position as the next heir would have already been made by then.

At the age of 10 ーー Akiha and I have not seen each other since then, despite being childhood friends who had been playing with me at the mansion’s garden until the fateful incident happened.

7 years have passed since then.

I wonder how much the Tohno mansion has changed.

In a few more minutes, I’ll arrive at the mansion. If I have to deliberate try to remember things that happened back then, that would be ーーーー

1. About my father Makihisa Tohno.
2. It’s definitely going to be my sister, Akiha
3. Come to think about it, what about the other children who played with us back then.

Choice: 2

….Definitely it’s about my little sister, Akiha.

It seems that Akiha personally came for a visit when I was first taken in by the Arima family. But unfortunately due to me having to visit the hospital at that time, we couldn’t meet up everyday, and since Akiha started going to an all girls boarding school to advance her studies, all we did was exchange letters.

Unlike Akiha, I’m a human who is completely disconnected with the main family.

Which is why I am living my carefree world.

I’m glad that my point of contact with my little sister was basically zero throughout the seven years.

To tell the truth, I didn’t think of returning to the Tohno family. Not at this point.

However, Akiha is still in that mansion.

When I was a kid.

Akiha was really docile, and she was always looking  timid as if she’s trying to be patient over something, and always followed the unreliable me around my back.

Probably because of her black hair and her dress code of wearing luxury western clothes, she was that fragile girl like a trapped princess who appears in fairy tales.

Though I already knew I no longer have that right to act like a brother to her, I did consider her future at one point during the seven years.

Therefore, when I received the news about Makihisa’s death, the one I worried about was Akiha.

The sister who is now alone after losing her dad in this huge mansion.

In addition, there’s also me who pushed all responsibilities of the Tohno family to her while I lived my own life without any consideration of her well being. So I do feel beholden to that.

Perhaps, to acknowledge the decision to return to the mansion is probably an act of me trying to apologize to Akiha for all this while.

The main door is tightly shut.

When I was a kid, I just thought of the house as simply “anyhow, it’s just large”, but after living with a normal family for several years, it once again made me feel the scale of that mansion.

The hilltop view that overlooks the city, each of it is the land that is managed by the Tohno family.

The plot itself is wider than my high school, and if you include the forest behind me, that could be measured up to 3 times in scale.

Since the plot is surrounded by long fences and trees, there is no way one could examine what’s inside.

The entrance which is the main gate is shut tight, as if it rejects anything that tries to come closer.

Besides the main gate that is meant for passenger vehicles to pass through is the entrance for humans to enter.

As I breathed a sigh, I then pressed on the button, which is likely the doorbell.

Like how one would speak to an interphone, there’s no response after trying to inquire the people who live inside.

After a few seconds of waiting, a mechanical sounding voice of “please enter”, along with the sound of the door unlocked can be heard at the same time.

“....So the door here is fully automatic. There used to be guards looking after the door though…”

The heavy door opens and I enter the mansion area, passing by the stone door.

After a while, a refreshing, “kachuck” sound can be heard, and the door is once again tightly locked.

After passing by the main door, the path of the gentle slope keeps expanding further in.

One could think of the path that is surrounded by trees to be a tunnel.

The path is expanding straight heading east and then turns at a right angle to the north that spans about 40 meters.

“ーーーー”

As I move forward, the memories come back in a colorful way.

I know this route.

I ran through this path several times.

Just a little more.

After reaching the corner, and with my legs facing the northern side --- left side, what lies ahead…

The Tohno mansion can be seen towering high, reminiscent of a white wall.

Ahh, I gasped. I let out a sigh of both admiration and resignation.

The mansion remained the same as before, unchanging.

From the words of my father, although the mansion underwent a huge renovation after the war, the basic construction remained the same, inherited from my grandfather as well as his grandfather’s generation before him.

The castle of a man with authority that existed continuously in this land for over several hundred years.

Makihisa...No, even for the people related to Tohno, this mansion is a sanctuary in and of itself.

I remembered there were several adults who would cozy up with my father in order to lease a corner of the mansion during the annually held relative conference.

They were like successful businessmen with each of them possessing their own mansions, but insisted on living here for some reason.

To live in this land is probably the same as gaining prestige to them, I bet.

…...Really, how ridiculous. It’s just a “luxurious mansion” to me who isn’t used to the sound of this whole elite status.

“..........Alright”

I can no longer turn back after coming all my way here.

There is a doorbell besides the double doors that doesn’t match.

I proceed to press the doorbell, waving away all the nervousness I have with me.

The familiar sound of a doorbell could not be heard.

After seconds of silence that feels dismal,

The sound of footsteps, as in someone in a hurry can be heard from the inside, beyond the door.

“Yes, I’ve been expecting you.”

Contrary to the door that seems to feel and look heavy, the door opens up lightly

The setting sun that is projected from the window made my eyes squint.

I know I was ready, but I still glanced over the vast lobby while gulping over the sight.

...The architectural beauty that overwhelms any visitors.

Rather, one would feel that they’re trapped in the illusion of somehow time slipped into a different country, or even a different timeline. The mansion’s interior is so antique-looking that even the atmosphere was different.

Even so, this is still the lobby of the Tohno mansion that felt familiar.

And in front of me lies one person who came out to welcome me, who is standing stock still. A girl in an anachronistic attire.

“I’m glad. I was worried that you were lost halfway while getting here since it was already so late. If you aren’t here by the time the sun sets, I would have gone out myself to welcome you personally instead.”

The girl who wears a kimono with an apron attached smiles with a friendly grin.

“Oh, noーー”

As for me, I was hit by the fact that it was such an unexpected development that I couldn’t find any words here.

I certainly thought that the one who would welcome me would be Makihisa’s personal secretary, or a butler with a rough face or something.

“?”

Her head leaned slightly, probably thinking I was giving out a dubious attitude or something.

“You are Shiki-sama, aren’t you?”

“Y-yes. But addressing me with a honorific is a bit too much here”

“Right? Oh god, please do not scare me. You made me really scared that I was getting things wrong here”

The girl in apron then raised her forefinger, acting in a behaviour as if she’s like a mother who scolds her child for doing something wrong,

Somehow she really looks worried, and is somewhat annoyed. Despite that the smile does not disappear, and the girl never lets the gentle atmosphere die out.

…..An apron on top of a kimono.

She came to greet me in this manner, and on top of that, refers to my name with honorifics.

Then, this girl is ーーー

“Sorry if I seem rude. But may you be someone who’s working as a helper here?”

“ーーー”

The girl answered my question with a smile on her face.

“Come, you must be tired. Please step in further, no need to feel reserved. Please feel at ease in the living room until Akiha-sama opens up”

The girl proceeds to walk out with slow movements as if to lead me in.

Heading to the passageway that is located at the eastern side of the lobby, next to the main staircase.

Sure enough, there is a living room located right there once you enter the passageway.

And I ーー

1. Following around quietly
2. Stop the girl to find out her name
3. …...Explore around the mansion for a little bit.

Choice: 2

I stopped her and asked for her name.

The reason is because it doesn’t feel right to call her a helper.

“I’m sorry, but may I ask for your name? I just came here and I still don’t know well on the situation around here yet”

I raised my voice.

The girl in kimono, after opening her eyes in astonishment as if she’s surprised,

“My name is Kohaku. I worked as a maid who serves the head of Tohno family in this mansion”

The girl, with a smile, bows down after her introduction.

A mild manner like a flower blooming from a bud.

Moving to the living room, led by the girl.

The living room after 7 years of absence feels so different in scale, to the point it feels like being here for the very first time.

Maybe it’s because I got too used to living with the Arima family, that it feels like an increase in standard from 7 years ago.

Either way, I couldn’t feel at ease, it’s like being at a stranger’s house.

I ended up looking around the sight of the living room restlessly.

“Fufu, like a restless cat borrowed from its owner. I know how you feel here, but please rest yourself easy here. This is Shiki-sama’s home, after all.”

“Y...You’re right.”

I proceed to lower my waist, sitting on the sofa in a hurry.

Even though I returned to my own home, getting overwhelmed by everything around me….geez, there’s a limit to being miserable here.

The girl in kimono approached the tea wagon that was located at the corner and moved it to a spot beside me, and after brewing a cup of tea, she then put the tea cup on the tray and brought it to me.

“Please have some tea, although a simple one”

“Ah, thank you”

Having been served politely with a smile on her face, it feels really embarrassing no matter what.

It’s not about life in the Arima family and so on, it’s definitely how I’m being a petty bourgeois at the core.

“I’ll excuse myself and call out to Akiha-sama so please wait here for now. Let’s see...it will take around 10 minutes here, so you may look around the mansion in the meanwhile”

“Is it okay? Walking around just like that”

“What are you talking about! This is Shiki-sama’s home here, there’s no such thing as being arbitrary or anything! ….Ah, no, but you certainly can’t go to the second floor, since Akiha-sama will be there. But if it’s the first floor, you’re more than welcomed to. It’s your first day in the mansion since 7 years to you, Shiki-sama. It definitely feels nostalgic to the point of being exciting, don’t you think?”

With a smile that seemed mischeving, Kohaku proceeded to bow after saying “If you may excuse me”, and left the room right after.

“......Well that got me”

The luxury made living room makes the murmur echo even further in hollow.

Well would I want to spend my time here like that nervously,

Or would I want to walk around the mansion for a bit.

I thenーー

1. Wait here quietly
2. Stand up and go for a walk.

Choice: 2

10 minutes...10 minutes eh.

I’d prefer walking around the house if I have this much time.

With that much time I could have walked around the hallway on the first floor, which is located at the east wing of the living room.

“Well, staying here will just make me feel nervous”

I then stand up from the sofa.

If my memory serves, there is a game room located at the west wing where a billiard table as well as dart board can be found there.

“Oh my. I thought of dropping by for a visit before I go back… didn’t expect to have a visitor here.”

The moment I begin stepping onto the lobby floor, a voice can be heard from the staircase.

As I look back at the grand staircase that leads to the second floor.

What lies there is a figure wrapped in black, too strange looking to be true.

“Good evening Tohno. Welcome to the Tohno mansion...or am I wrong here. For your case, it’s “welcome back”, I take it”

…...A man probably in his thirties judging by the sound of his voice...walks down to the lobby calmly.

That description of being all black wasn’t even a metaphor or whatever.

For some reason, it’s not just his hands wrapped in black bandages. but his whole face even.

This is precisely the strange man that looks like he could be from some mystery novel.

“............Erm, who could you be?”

“Hmm? Don’t you remember me? Ahh, I see. It’s me. Gouto Saiki. We met face to face when you were still a little kid, but as things are now, I doubt your memories of me would match my current outlook here.”  

Saiki?

Was there even a family name like that in our Tohno family branch?

No, before that ーー This man, somehow ーー

“I don’t mind. I’m used to receiving strange looks like this. My face was burned because of an accident, you see. That happened a long time ago, and unless I wrap myself up, I couldn’t even walk outside with this body. The sunlight is especially harsh. Akiha is also uncomfortable with my presence here, but well, that can't be helped. She's partly to blame for this, too.”

As that self-deprecating laugh from Gouto Saiki echoes around, at the same time he lightly lifts his left hand up to his eye level.

As if he’s trying to tell that even the setting sun that shines through the skylight was too much for him.

“But oh well, look at you, how dare you return here just like that.”

“......Eh?”

“I’m talking about you here, Shiki. As a result of disobeying Makihisa’s instructions and running away from this mansion, you then get involved in such a worthless incident and get dropped out in the end. Drop out. Yes, drop out. You’ve become a dropout who threw away the investments that your parents spent on you, and threw away your own responsibilities altogether. However you get to return back here nevertheless, and try to act as Akiha’s brother here. Don’t you feel ashamed about yourself here?”

“ ーーーーーー”

I unconsciously tried to counter his words with a “Hah?” over that outrageous statement he made, but I ended up holding it back.

Gotou Saiki’s eyes were obviously full of contempt and provocation, but there’s no point in trying to roughen things further. For one, he wasn’t wrong anyway.

“Oh, don’t feel like talking back, I take it?”

“None at all. It is true that I threw away my responsibilities. Though talking about dropouts or investments or whatnot. Don’t you feel ashamed as well for talking about family with those kinds of words here?”

“It’s because we ARE talking about family here, that I chose the right words here. Fostering is indeed a family investment of their future. There is no such thing as individual freedom in a chosen bloodline, or even a noble family line, let alone a city person. Freedom...No, you could even say that it’s self-consciousness. These are rights that only those who have fully grown up can acquire and are able to carry the responsibilities of their family on their shoulders. And you, despite being the son of a Tohno family, couldn't even comprehend this. A third rate who both resembles and doesn’t even resemble Akiha at all. But well, I’d wouldn’t deny that you're first class if we want to talk about having a thick face trying to climb back here after dropping to the ground once. “

“ーーーーーー”

“Don’t glare at me like that Shiki-kun. This was just objectivism, and not from my personal evaluation here. You seem to have misunderstood but I did not object to your return. If anything, I was actually on the side of having you return more than anything else. To begin, this is the decision of the current head of the Tohno family, and it’s not like an outsider like me could say anything at all, don’t you think?”

Outsider...?

So this man is not from the branch family then?

“The Saiki family has had associations with the Tohno family on an equal standing since our ancestor days. To put it in a modern context, both families are business partners. I was just here for a business talk today. Though it took a long time, I was just in a good mood after getting a good reply here, that’s all. Ahhh, but I don’t think I can bear to spoil your  homecoming with this gloomy appearance here. So I’ll excuse myself”

That man in black bandage...Gouto Saiki, with his mouth full of a sardonic smile on his face, passed by my side and walked towards the entrance, leaving the place.

“..........”

The word “Dropout” left by Saiki made me bite my lips for a little.

It is as he said, and with absolute accuracy that indeed expresses the position Shiki Tohno is standing in this mansion.

…...In any case, it would be better to move back to the living room to calm myself down. Walking around the Tohno mansion will have to be later.

I’m going to reunite with my blood relative whom I have not met for seven years here, to have such a tormenting feeling would make it inexcusable when I meet Akiha later.

---

“Excuse me”

It really took her exactly 10 minutes to return here.

“...? Shiki-sama, did you experience anything that offended your feelings here?”

Looks like she realized how I was sunk by words left by Gouto Saiki.

“No, nothing at all. It’s just that I was pressured by the atmosphere here. Thank you for the tea, it was delicious.”

“My, you were good. But you’re welcomed, I should thank you for giving me the praise”

With that bashful looking smile directed at me, it sure made me feel warm too.

“Oh, more importantly, the main subject here. Sorry for the wait. Seems like Akiha-sama has done with her business, so I’d like you to move to her office now.”

Climbing the grand staircase to the second floor from the center of the lobby.

Office...that equals the center of the Tohno family.

The private room of Makihisa who was the head that time, the room I couldn’t enter when I was a kid.

The room that all successive heads of the Tohno family uses.

Over there now, at this moment, lies my sister Akiha, waitingーー

What lies there is a space that is based on red, which contrasts the living room which was based on white.

A luxury looking curtain. A crimson carpet without a speck of trace.

With a heavy and dignified air, and an unavoidable,long history that can be felt.

So this is the office...the room where Makihisa Tohno, and then now Akiha Tohno sits, the room of the head of the Tohno family.

“I have brought Shiki-sama here”

“You did well. You may now return to your duties, Kohaku”

“Yes, I shall excuse myself now”

Kohaku left the room after giving me a small bow.

What’s left would be myself and ーー2 girls, which another girl is someone who I have no memories of whatsoever.

“It’s been a long while, brother.”

The girl with long, black hair with her dignified look, said those words.

“ ーーーーーー”

My head is blank white.

My thoughts stopped completely.

I couldn’t even properly greet her, and I could only respond with an “Ah”, or nod my head over it.

Though it feels rather pathetic for me to feel discouraged over it, I think it can’t be helped.

The Akiha that I have not seen for 7 years, is now in a form that is completely different from my memories.

“...Brother? Do you find anything suspicious in the room here?”

The black hair girl subtly squints her eyes, as if to calmly observe the visitor who is acting irregularly.

“Ah  ーー ーー No”

As I still couldn’t think straight here, I can only reply with nothing but silly words.

Though I’m trying to make my head operate in full in order to recognize the girl who’s standing in front of me as Akiha, it looks like Akiha took the first lead and recognized me as her brother.

“ ーーSigh. I’ve heard about your condition here but your body condition is indeed unstable. Though this is going to waste my time, are you going to take a rest while I’m trying to talk to you here?”

….And thus it made me feel that Akiha’s words contain some kind of sting that hurts.

“N, No, my body condition isn’t that bad. but Akiha changed so much that it kind of surprised me here”

“......Sigh. It’s been seven years, of course I do change. We are already in our growth phase here. Or what, do you think we’re still in the past right now, brother?”

“ ーーNo, I mean ーー”

After getting pressured by that silent force, it made me unintentionally hesitant in voicing out.

….Rather, that makes me reflect on my mistakes

I did not imagine the current Akiha as being real.

I didn't think of the future beyond those convenient memories I had of my sister who forever remained a kid, despite being a big brother to her.

How did the seven years worth of time allow Akiha to grow like that? And to think I had to be reminded of that fact in front of her, surely there’s a limit to that insolence.

“......That’s shameful of me. To tell the truth, I certainly wasn’t thinking enough. But you sure have changed, Akiha, you’re grown to be exceptionally beautiful now.”

An honest thought from me.

“Thank you. Though brother you don’t seem to have changed much from the past”

Akiha then replied while her eyes remained closed without hesitation, with a cold tone.

“.......”

…...Well, It’s not like I didn’t expect that.

After all, it does seem like Akiha did not take the fact that I’ve been out of the Tohno family for a long period very well here.

“......”

“ーー”

A silence that lasted mere seconds, like both of us trying to find out what each other is up to.

I couldn't think of a casual greeting I could say to my sister whom I’ve reunited with.

Akiha observes me as if I’m a stranger ーー In fact, to Akiha, I am pretty much a stranger to her here.

“....Well that’s fine. If you’re in good condition then let’s move our discussion along. Have you heard of the details about your move already?”

“No, I wasn’t being told any details here. It’s just being told to return to the mansion as soon as possible. Though I learnt of that old man (Makihisa)’s death through news”

If a figure who stands at the top of an industry group passes away, any economic news would have picked up the topic and reported them all over.

Even without the words from relatives, it’s still an era where a disowned son can easily know about his parent’s misfortune through internet news sites.

The obituary of Makihisa Tohno was known to the Arima family after the funeral ceremony, as if it’s some other people’s affair.

“......You have my apologies. It was a mistake of me for not telling you about what happened to father”

Akiha silently lowered her head.

The black hair that flows was beautiful...wait, it’s not the time to be fascinated by that. What happened just now was my bad.

“I don’t think you should worry about it. It’s not like my attendance would revive the dead anyway. Rather, it actually spared me from having to meet our relatives.

To have a disowned son attending the ceremony would complicate things anyway.

“...Is that so? If that’s the case then it makes me feel a little relieved, if any.”

No, it’s me who should thank Akiha here. Having a sister that makes things easier really helped.

Things like funeral ceremonies are for humans who wouldn’t forget about the person who departed so that they can cut off the feelings they had for them.

For a son and father who’ve long cut their ties, and for me who couldn’t think of a single word to tell Makihisa when he passed, I do not have any rights nor obligation to send him off.

“If that’s the case, then who was the one who called me back? Not like he left his will to call me back, yes?”

“The decision to call you back to this mansion here was on me. It wouldn’t be right to have the elder of the Tohno family being left under the care of the Arima family forever, isn’t it? No matter how defective you may be, you’re still part of the Tohno family.”

“............”

Defective, the word that I have to come to terms with.

These words were the words that the old man kept telling me.

I no longer remember being irritated nor unsatisfied over the words thrown at me, and that assessment was completely correct anyway.

“As father...I mean, Makisa Tohno now departed from this world, the only blood left in the Tohno family would be you and I, and the bloodline must be preserved. I know not what father thought when he left you under the care of the Arima family, but now father is no longer in this world. Since the reason can no longer be known, to have us supervise Shiki Tohno is a given duty of the family, don’t you think?”

It was quiet, but also words from Akiha that don't allow any others to be said.

This means her words do not leave room for any dissatisfaction nor objection from me, and it was as if she made a declaration in advance.

“Supervise me, eh. So if I were to deny the request of returning to the Tohno family, what would you do then?”

“You do not have that freedom to begin with. The people from the Arima family do not have the decision rights to reject it either. Both you and I are raised in the Tohno household. Until both of us grow into adults and enter the society, you are obligated to be under the rule of the Tohno family.”

“......”

These were the words Makihisa said as well.

That it is the parents’ responsibility to raise their child and send them off as part of the society.

A family is just a minimum number that functions as a “company” that makes up a country. Since it’s a company, it must not ship away any defects. Because it won’t just hurt the name of the family, but it’ll also connect to the fact that it’ll drag down the quality of a country overall.

Such a person who failed to take up the responsibility has no rights to become a parent, and any child who doesn’t respond to the responsibility given has no reason to be a part of that family.

Makihisa Tohno told this story to both me and Akiha so many times in the past. Over and over again, as if he’s trying to tell that to himself.

“Father’s stock phases, huh. So the reason why you called me back is simplyーー”

It wasn't done out of consideration for her brother's feelings of being disowned by his bigoted father,

“No matter the history, you are still the eldest son of the Tohno family. Was there any other reason needed?”

Seems that it’s just to clean up a case that has been let loose, as what a family head would do.

“I’m glad that you understand. And this goes without saying, please take whatever words I’ve said here as words from the head of the Tohno family. While you’re my brother in the context of our family registry, it’ll be a completely different story when it comes to hierarchical relationships in this family however. So while I do respect you as my brother, at the same time as the person in charge of this family, I will have to treat you as the property of the Tohno family. So forget what happened seven years ago, and just remember this in mind that both you and I are now a member of this family and the family head, respectively.”

Akiha’s voice sounded completely indifferent.

A prideful decision, a decision coming from the person who is at the top, to the person beneath her. It is true that what was said above felt cold and heartless.

However ーー

“Alright. This makes things a lot easier to understand. It makes me feel refreshed over being told that right at my face.”

It’s a given conclusion.

It’s not something that is worth getting upset about.

“......Do you actually understand the words I say? I was making a one-sided proclamation as a person who is above you in position, which  you have to acknowledge here…”

“Yes I do understand this and I have no complaints here. I mean, it’s a treatment I know I’ll be receiving no matter how much I think about it anyway. Rather I'm grateful to Akiha for giving me proper courtesy as my sister and allowing me to live as I please for seven years.”

“............”

“But putting aside Akiha’s thoughts on the matter, I’m amazed that our relatives consented to that. Weren’t they the ones who suggested leaving me under the care of the Arima family?”

“That’s right. But now I’m the head of the family. So I’ve rejected all of their suggestions on the matter, and to express their opinion on this matter would mean issuing their declaration of going against me, and by extension, the Tohno family.”

“ ーーーー”

I unconsciously felt amazed.

Not even Makihisa would ignore the opinions coming from the branch, but Akiha was able to persuade all of them...or was it silenced?

…….No

She sure grew up to be a fine lady from the outside, but how much did she go through all that growth on the inside, I wonder. As her brother in terms of family registry, my sister’s sudden growth truly scares me.

“...Brother? You seemed absentminded. Is anything wrong there?”

“Ah, no. I mean, I was impressed, or rather I was touched… you really made it, now acknowledged as the head of the family.”

“Of course. If not I wouldn’t be able to call you back here. I’ll return to the subject here. Now that you’re going to live in this mansion from today onwards, please know that there will be rules to observe here. I'm asking you to avoid being ill-mannered as you have done up till now, so keep this in mind.”

“Hmm? Haha, I don’t think that’s possible, Akiha. I don’t think I can just return to being a well mannered person like that, and I don’t plan to.”

“No, you are doing so no matter what. You’re not a child anymore, and refrain from complaining before you even try”

“ーー Or are you telling me that you can’t achieve the things that I’ve already done?”

Akiha then glanced at me with her cold gaze.

“ーーーー “

Or rather, her glance is pretty much a spear that pierces through.

“Uhh…….”

Certainly doesn’t leave any room for doubt...I’m now being mercilessly bombarded by the animosity I've left behind for seven years.

“......Alright, I get you. I’ll do my best here”

“You’re doing your best here, you say. Certainly a convenient thing to say. So by working hard, anyone will be rewarded, you say? What I want are results, nothing else. So keep that in mind.”

“Ugh, guh….”

A brother who is dumbfounded over his sister’s impressions that contain not even a single ounce of kindness.

“....That’s fine, brother. You have been living a free man up till this point, so I don’t expect you to straighten your life immediately. I’ll give you a minimum of one week, and at most a month of reprieve here, so do your absolute best to achieve that.”

Sure, a reprieve is reprieve here, but isn’t that why we have a probation here...is what I had in mind suddenly but I ended up holding back.

I’m sure Akiha already provided a compromise in her own way.

“.....You know, this is not really an absurd talk here. Currently, there’s only you and I who are living in this mansion. I know you won’t be able to feel at ease if there are relatives being a nuisance in this mansion, and I do feel the annoyance as well so I ordered them to leave the mansion.”

“ ーーーー”

Wait a minute. Ordered them to leave? Don’t tell me…..

“Wait, you actually chased all our relatives who are freeloading in the mansion here away? Every one of them?”

Or rather, I didn’t know it was possible to do that…!

“That’s right. Don’t worry about it. Those are the people who clutched on the kindness provided by my father without investing any effort despite losing their home and wealth. To have them leave the mansion was already an eventual thing anyway. Ah, though a majority of our servants have already been discharged from their duties, but there will be servants enough for both you and I so that shouldn’t be a problem”

“No, what are you talking about, that’s definitely going to be a huge problem here! If you’re just doing things your way like this you’re going to risk getting ridiculed during the next relative conference!”

“Alright, please stop telling me what to do here. I mean, you would feel so much at ease if we’re the only ones in this mansion rather than having a lot of people around the house, wouldn't you?”

...Uh.

Well, I can’t deny that it’ll actually feel much better that way….

“But, I mean, are you really fine with it? Not even that old man can go against the opinions of our relatives back then, and to think you can force that tyrannically selfish act of yours here…”

“That’s right. I mean that’s the reason why father made his decision to leave you under the care of the Arima family. But not me, I’ve despised them ever since I was a little girl, so I no longer care about listening to their complaints any further.”

“No longer care… I mean, Akiha ーー”

“Ahh really, that’s enough already. You don’t have to worry about me anymore! More importantly, you should worry about your life from now on, brother. I can already see that you will be having a tough life ahead”

With her disapproval tone, Akiha forced the current conversation to end.

“I believe you are already aware of your situation here, but I don’t think you have completely escaped from your life in the Arima family just yet. Well, that’s fine. This is why we have our servants here for this purpose. From now on, please direct any further questions you have to this girl.

ーーHisui.”

Without even looking back, Akiha called out to a girl who was waiting at the corner of this room.

The girl who is named Hisui takes her step forward, and bow at me while facing me.

It was a bow without any expression yet gracious, and full of sincerity as if it had been crystalized.  

“This girl is Hisui, a maid in our mansion. She will be your personalized waiting maid from today on, are we clear?”

I see, so this girl is a maid working in the mansion ーー wait a minute, eh?

“Wait, waiting maid? This means…”

“To make it easier to understand, a house servant.”

….I can’t believe this.

Like Akiha here, the girl who is dressed in her maid uniform, as if it is natural for her to do so, doesn’t see any changes in her expression (face).  

“Wait a minute here. Isn’t this a little exaggerated here? I mean I can at least take care of myself here…”

“Even preparing food or doing laundry?”

Akiha’s indication was relentlessly sharp.

“Whichever it is, as you have now returned to this mansion, you will have to follow my orders. I know not what kind of life you lived while you were at the Arima family, but you’re now living in the Tohno house as the elder son of the Tohno family from today onwards. Please accept this appropriate treatment as if it is your duty to do so.”

“Uhh…..”

I then switched my gaze to the girl in her maid dress.

Hisui remained emotionless after all, and just looked back at me like a doll.

“Now then Hisui, do lead my brother to his room. This person is now no different than being a directionless cat who doesn’t know left nor right. So do ensure he doesn’t get lost in this huge mansion here”

“Understood, Akiha-sama”

With a bow from Akiha, Hisui then quietly headed in my direction.  

With her gaze now directed towards me, I then looked all over while trying not to make eye contact with her.

…...With her gentle pace without feeling slow, which indicates that this girl has been working as a servant of this house for a long period.

“Ahh, brother. One thing though, even if you’re the elder son of this house, there are places in this mansion where you are forbidden to enter. So please refrain yourself from breaking this rule. I’ve also ordered Hisui to protect you at all times, so please rely yourself on Hisui’s advices for as much as you can.”

“That doesn’t seem like being under protection but more like being observed, don’t you think?”

“The moment you learn to live your life prim and proper, Hisui will be released from that role. I’ll see you later, at the dining table.”

With my schedule now packed, it doesn’t seem like Akiha is willing to spend anymore time on this.

“I shall now lead you to your room, Shiki-sama”

Without paying a single heed to my bewilderment, Hisui proceeds to head to the door.

“...Haah”

After letting out a sigh, I then left the office room.

I once again entered the lobby.

The Tohno mansion consists of a lobby at the center which separates the east and west wing.

If I were to give it a comparison, it would be like a bird with its wings spread.

The body would be the lobby, while the wings would be the east and west wing.

As for each wing, the size of each building would be equivalent to the size of a small clinic.

As the structure is built symmetrically, both the east and west wing have the same amount of rooms as far as I can remember.

“Shiki-sama, your room is this way.”

Hisui, without going down the staircase, walked towards the west wing passing the lobby atrium corridor.

Looks like my room is located on the second floor of the west wing.

The sun has already gone down after looking outside.

The corridor that is accompanied with a blue carpet that extends through.

The white wall that would make one think of a rampart.

In the midst of an endless stream of warm, orange colored lamps shining continuously, the girl in maid uniform can be seen walking.

“......Somehow this feels like being in a fairy land”.

I let my thoughts slip unconsciously.

“Shiki-sama, do you have any questions…?”

“No, I was just talking to myself, don’t worry about it.”

“............”

Hisui, after looking over here, gave her bow that signals “well then”, and continued walking.

“.........”

I have no words.

It was a loss of words over the umpteenth time since returning to the Tohno residence.

A floor that is made of teak wood, considered to be high grade.

A high ceiling that could be as tall as 3 meters.

What can be seen at the room further in is probably the sun parlor for personal use.

The room that I was led to by Hisui is by no means a room that is created to be lived by a  mere high school student here.

“......So this is my room?”

“Yes. If you aren’t satisfied with this room I’ll have a different room ready for you.”

“No, there’s no way I’m unsatisfied by it, it’s just ーー”

It’s just a little, no, it’s quite overly magnificent here, I’d say.

“Shiki-sama?”

“ーーIt’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’ll graciously accept this room then.”

“Yes, this room remained the same even from seven years ago, so I don’t think there’s anything that could cause you any inconvenience”

“......”

Ehh, this means…

“....Just a little, if I may ask. So this place used to be my room from seven years ago?”

“I was told that way, was I wrong?”

Hisui slightly tilts her head.

...I’m glad.

Seems that this girl can actually express herself in her own way.

“Hmm...well, now that you mention it, indeed. I do have some faint memories about it, so I’m certain it is the case.”

Though I don’t feel familiar with this room at all, that's probably what happens after being away for seven years.

“But then, I can’t feel at ease here at all. I just lived in a four-and-a-half-mat room until this morning, so it feels like living in a high grade hotel.”

“I understand how you feel here, but please get used to it. Shiki-sama is now the elder son of the Tohno family from today onwards.”

“...Well, I guess you’re right. I’ll at least work myself on the outside to ensure I don’t end up being a joke”

Bam, as I put my bag on the table and straighten my back.

Though it feels nerve-wracking in many ways to count, I guess I have to get used to it from today onwards.

At the very least I need to ensure that I’ll be able to relax in this room.

“Also...all the luggage that reached here yesterday has been moved to this room, do you have any problems with it?”

“No...I don’t? Ah, is there anything that I shouldn’t have brought over?”

“...No, it’s just that the amount of luggage you have seems...too few. I can have it prepared for you if there’s anything you need, so please let me know beforehand.”

“Is that so? But no, for now I’m content with what I have. I never have that much luggage to begin with. So if there’s anyway it’d be this bag and my specs and…”

The textbooks that are within my bag, the white ribbon that I’ve been treasuring for a long while, and that’s about it.

“For now, you don’t need to worry about my luggage. This magnificent room itself is good enough for me.”

“...Understood. I’ll call you again after an hour”

“An hour later, do you mean dinner?”

“Yes. Until then please make yourself at home”

Hisui is still saying those words without any expression on her face.

However, how would I spend my time here?

The clock just passed 6 in the evening.

Usually I would be looking at either the television or my mobile phone during this time,  but it does make me genuinely uncertain whether this mansion has a casual gathering space for residents living here.

“Hisui, I’m going to ask something boring here. Are there any television or communication lines here?”

“Television...or communication lines?”

Hisui slightly squinted her eyes.

...Certainly a question that is enough to cause headaches, if I do say so myself.

It does feel somehow wrong to inquire on whether there is any basic Japanese entertainment In this luxurious mansion here.

“...There’s no such thing in our living room. Though there is an entertainment room located at the west wing, it’s currently locked right now. Though those of you who lived here until your arrival did have their personal belongings brought here, it was already brought away when they left, so I do not think those things remained.”

“So the relatives that Akiha chased away….they lived here, yes? Who? and for how long?”

“The eldest son of the Kugamine family, and his whole family lived at the first floor of west wing, third room; Touzaki-sama and the family’s three daughters, along with their fiancees, used to live at the second floor of west wing, the corner room; The eldest son of Kishima-sama used to be at the first floor of east wing, first room. Everyone lived here for about 3 years. And the rest….if I heard correctly, the family doctor of the previous family head Makihisa-sama used to live in this mansion as well.”

“3 years...well Hisui, wouldn’t that mean they were freeloading instead of living here?”

Hisui does not answer.

Considering she’s a servant of this mansion, it seems that she couldn’t provide personal opinions over the people who freeloaded here, no matter who or what they are.

In any case those who used to live here have already relocated their household belongings. This means I shouldn’t be expecting any parting presents from them.

I wouldn’t expect Makihisa, who is prejudiced against any form of modern entertainment as it looks vulgar to him to allow anyone living here to use things like television or internet.

Akiha, who trained under that Makihisa (old man), probably is the same as well.

“ ーーWell, it’s not like I’ll die without having these things anyway”

I have my own mobile device in case anything happens.

I then brought out my handphone to confirm the time, as well as the antenna.

Though this is obvious, the signal does reach here.

While it’s minimal at best, it does make me feel greatly relieved over having an internet connection within the palm of my hands.

…...How to put it, because of how this mansion doesn't feel real. that it seemed more natural to think that it’d be out of range instead.

“............”

On one hand, Hisui remained silent.

Should I say that she’s a paragon of a house servant, that she wouldn’t say anything except when necessary or being asked.

For me who isn’t used to having a helper or servant, just looking at her doing so makes me feel restless.

Though I did feel like wanting to do something that would make that expressionless face smile, it seems that doing so with half baked effort would make it hard.

“If I remember correctly there should be a library on the first floor, west wing. I’ll see what I can find there during my spare time”

Hisui doesn’t answer.

Slightly averting the eyes that had been pointing at me, now she’s staring into an empty air above. Like a cat.

“ーーHisui?”

Hisui utters never a word.

And, suddenly, her sights now returned to look at me.

“I think there is one in my sister’s room”

“What?”

….I let my voice out without holding back…

Erm, so this means,

“I mean, the television. I remember seeing one in my sister’s room before.”

Hisui said those words as if she just remembered something that happened several years ago.

“I’m glad, so there is at least something like this in this mansion...eh, wait a minute. Your sister, yes? Are you talking about Kohaku?”

“Yes. Currently the only ones who are working in this mansion would be me and my sister, just the two of us”

…Now that she said so, the two of them do look similar.

Compared to that girl in kimono who has a smiling face from the start to finish, this girl in her maid attire is overly expressionless, which is why I couldn’t link the two of them as sisters.

“Is that so? If it’s about that person I can somehow see that she’s a character who would watch variety programs”

Even so, having to go all the way to her room just to have her let me watch television does feel intimidating.

“Sorry, please forget that I’ve ever asked this question. I mean I’m going to live here from now on, so I do need to follow the rules of this mansion anyway.”

For one, I wonder what kind of sarcastic remarks I’d get from Akiha if she found out about me leisurely watching TV on the first day back home.

I’ll do my best to be the diligent student that befits someone from the Tohno family.

“I’ll be in this room until dinner time, so do come here for a call once dinner is ready. I mean you have other tasks to attend to, don't you?”

Hisui nodded, signaled a yes to affirm my question and reached out her hand to the doorknob.

The door then opens with a faint creaking sound.

After a bow from Hisui, she quietly leaves the room.

---

It was a face-to-face dinner with Akiha.

Hisui and Kohaku are focused on serving us.

The master (family member) and the servants do not sit around the table.

…...Though this is obvious,  for someone like me who is already used to the company of the Arima family, it was an uncomfortable dinner.

Furthermore, it seems that I completely forgot about the table manners here.

Humans would usually put the memories they don’t use in the corner, a being who has the rights to optimize. In other words, there is no reason to remember how table manners work here.

It made me quite nervous over Akiha being overly concerned about my every move made, and it was thrilling at the same time.

…...To tell the truth, to think I have to repeat this daily life would really make me feel depressed.

The dinner ended without any conversations whatsoever.

I wasn’t allowed the luxury to enact conversations considering I have to spend all of my energy having to remember the table manners here.

And Akiha, like the Akiha she is, was looking really grumpy there.

With that, right after Hisui and Kohaku cleaned up the tableware and utensils…

“ーーLooks like you really need a complete reeducation here”

Clean and direct.

Those devil words that were merciless and speaking tone that felt extremely chilling echoes all over the dining room.

“ーーWho, and what kind?”

“You, brother. So that you’ll be ready for anything”

So it was indeed me.

So that’s what she was thinking while twitching her well defined eyebrows during dinner.

“So, on what specifically?”

“First, a fix on your lifestyle. Of course you are not allowed to go out during nights, and your curfew would be 8pm. No matter the reason, you have to get my permission, or go through Kohaku or Hisui when leaving the house.”

“Huh?”

Curfew at 8? At this age? No, worse of all, I need to obtain permission from the people here before going out?

“Wait, just wait. That’s just…”

“We will set up your study schedule during break days. According to the reports, your results right now were right around the average level…...For god’s sake. The part where you’re good at being efficient in cutting corners remained the same as ever.”

“No way. I’ve always at full force here”

“But I’ll have you go serious while you’re living in this mansion, so keep that in mind. I’m sure my brother here is a person who can do it if he tries, so even if you include breaks, you should be able to score 3rd place or higher in school grades easily, yes?”

It hurts to hear that overestimation from my own sister.

And to have her thoroughly research my academic results itself is a horror.

“As for other lessons, well, we’ll think about it after you settle down. Now, brother. Let’s move on to the main subject ーー please hand over that thing.”

“Yes?”

The main subject ーー what is?

“When I say that, I mean that. You have it, don’t you. That you keep it in your pants. That symbolically filthy thing that every youngster owns these days. And I’m telling you to bring it out without hiding it away”

“No, and you lost me even more now! Is this what the elites do!? What the hell do you think the normal citizens are! Come on now!”

“Huh? Like I said, please hand over your mobile device here. Like, you have it with you, don’t you?”

“ーーI see now”

I then pull out my mobile device that is kept within my pocket located at the back of my pants.

As I put it on the dining table, Hisui then took it away without saying a word and handed it to Akiha.

“I’m confiscating it. We forbid any form of electronic devices in our house here. It's a completely unnecessary thing for a healthy student like you. You are free to use the telephone that is located at the lobby, and you are welcome to use the library if you need to search for something.”

Akiha then cut off her one sided conversation, and walked out from the dining table.

I remained standing there, being shocked over the biggest thing that happened right now, more so than what happened several times today.

I don't want to sound like a sore loser here, but I'm not the type of person who loves using my handphone that much.

I usually use them to check my emails, and read news during wait time, and that’s about it. However, when it comes to mobile devices being a basic element of human lives, I’m not that much different.

It does make me shiver over the stern rules of the Tohno family. To think there is a family who would forbid any form of mobile device in this day and age where the internet has become a commonplace…!

---

I return to my own room after dinner.

The time is now past 9 and a half.

I spent the full 2 hours of my time in the dining room.

“Welcome back, Shiki-sama. I did not receive any orders, but I’ve prepared the bed for you here.”

Oh.

Hisui was actually making the bed silently in my room.

Seems that she came in here before I did to make preparations.

“Ah ーー Yeah, thanks”

“As for your pajamas, please use the one over there, and I would appreciate it if you could put the clothes you wore into the basket and place them in the hallway.”

There’s a woven wood basket placed on the foot side.

Seems that if I were to put the worn clothes into the basket and place it in the hallway, she’ll bring them to  the laundry.

…...This sounds more and more like a high class hotel already.

“Do you have any questions here?”

Hisui asks her question without moving her eyebrow.

Though I do have a lot here, I know nothing about Hisui and Kohaku at all.

“This question may be unrelated, but here’s one, okay?”

“Sure, what would it be?”

“I want to know more about the tasks that both you and Kohaku are doing here in this mansion, how about it?”

“I work as a servant serving Shiki-sama, and my sister Kohaku is assigned to take care of lady Akiha. When both you and Akiha-sama are away from this mansion, both of us will be the one managing it. So what about it?”

“....Take care you say, so it’s true after all”

My shoulders turn heavier, disappointed.

Though this sounds like a given to Akiha here, I'm just a normal high school student.

That whole preference of having a girl around my same age to take care of me is something that doesn’t exist right now.

“...So by saying you’re a servant serving Shiki-sama, does this mean you’re my specialized maid?”

“Yes. I’ll always be at your service.”

Hisui then took a deep bow.

That stinging chest pain here is probably due to my own self centered sense of guilt.

“Alright I understand. From the way Akiha puts it, I’m sure she wouldn’t leave me alone and I don’t think it’s a good thing to have you dismissed from your duty due to my own personal feelings and issues here. So I’ll accept your care from now on ーー”

“Do you have any special requests here?”

“It’s not a big deal or something….but I’d like you to not refer to me with honorifics. I’m not that kind of character to begin with, and to tell you the truth, It’s so beyond my means that it feels as if I’m caught by the scruff of my neck.”

“But Shiki-sama, you’re my master.”

“You could say that, but I have been living normally up till now. It’s just returning to my own house here and having to experience a girl of my age referring me with honorifics is a bit hard to swallow”

Hisui then absent-mindedly replied with a sigh.

“You can just refer to me as Tohno-san or Shiki-san here. I don’t want it to be formal. In return I’ll refer to you as Hisui-san.”

“............”

Hisui lowers her eyebrows while remaining expressionless, and bite her lips strongly.

….That got me.

I just wanted her to ease down, but that backfired and  made her even more troubled.

“However, you are my master here.”

“I am not the one who hired you, isn’t it?”

“......I’m sorry but it is the same, Shiki-sama. I serve here as the maid of the Tohno family. Regardless whether it’s the family lord or any family member, it does not change the fact that they are all my revered masters here. Therefore, please only refer to me as Hisui. I hope for your understanding over the feelings of a servant who refers to the person they serve using honorifics.”

“ーーMmm”

...If she says so, then I can’t bring myself to counter her words.

What she said here made sense as a servant.

“......Sigh, I should be the one thankful here since you’re doing all the things that I couldn’t do…”

Guess if I keep carrying my point through, Hisui will just end up being more trouble than she already is.

For now, what I can do here is to just settle with relaying my intention as best as I could.

“So I’ll just refer to you as Hisui?”

“Yes. Please refer to me as such, by any means necessary.”

“......haha”

The way Hisui said “By any means necessary” sounded a bit like an interruption.

“Understood. Then we’ll go with it. But just letting you know that I do not want you to be overly formal with me. I’ll appreciate it if you let your sister, Kohaku-san, know about this as well”

“Alright. If this is what Shiki-sama wished for”

Hisui then gracefully lowers her head.

ーーAlright. Looks like it’ll be a long road to walk until we can engage ourselves in an honest conversation.

After a bow, Hisui leaves the room.

As soon as I’m left alone, the fatigue sweeps in all at once.

….In a way, so many things have happened since this morning.

It’s about time that my body seeks slumber.

I proceed to lie down on the bed after turning off the lights.

A narcotic desire for sleep.

The worn out body then drains away all vitality from my limbs, demanding them to fall into slumber.

I attempted to go against the temptation and just settle with my eyelids closed, but that was just a pointless struggle.  

No matter how much I don’t feel like sleeping, eventually I’ll fall into a deep slumber.

That’s how human bodies are made.

...With that, I stare at the ceiling absentmindedly while being in the state between being awake and being asleep.

...Home for the first time in seven years.

...Reuniting with blood relatives for the first time in seven years.

...Me who somehow felt as if I’m living in a stranger’s home.

“ーー But you’re back now aren’t you”

...That monologue, narrated with the purpose of accepting reality.

......My consciousness proceeds to dive deeper into the depths of no return.

…...A high ground mansion where noises from the city do not reach.

…...An isolated island surrounded by tall trees

…...Now after all this I came to discover that it completely felt like being in a prison the moment I closed my eyelids completely.

ーー Suddenly, I woke up

Without being awaken by anyone,

Without hearing anything around,

A vagueness without any reason whatsoever,

How long has it been since the time I woke up halfway during my sleep.

Feeling as if I’ve forgotten something, I brought up my body feeling uneasy.

Since I felt there’s something stirring my chest, I then exit the room feeling curious about what was going on outside.

Since I was feeling thirsty, I walked through the corridor in search of water.

The moonlight that shines through the long corridor.

The night sounds that calmed the residence.

…….Ah, how nostalgic.

I recall walking down this road before in the past.

Like a lost child I am, without looking aside, I brought my legs forward through the corridor.

It was a blind spot in the mansion.

The staircase isn’t just a pathway that connects the first and second floor, but on the other side of the staircase lies a secret pathway that leads to the inner attic.

Today, even the residents of this mansion have long forgotten about it.

The mansion’s ceiling that was once used as the warehouse in the past, now sees no sign of entry in the past years.

Despite being October, the cold felt tonight feels like the cold during mid winter.

Searching through the luggage for a blanket.

As my sight locks on the worn-out wardrobe, I then attempt to open the worn-out drawer.

“ーーーーーー”

All that’s found there are full of insignificant accessories

The drawers inside were empty.

That feeling of disappointment over several small stones that are scattered everywhere despite looking forward to the contents of that treasure box after opening it.

Patches, accessories, binoculars, and other miscellaneous stuff collected by children can be seen lying around.

Among them, there lies only one thing that is something clearly the odd one out.

It is a dirty bandage that is stored in a clear plastic case.

Though neatly rolled into a ball, it doesn’t look usable due to how old it looks.

There is nothing here.

I then close the drawer, and return to my room.

Halfway leaving the room.

I noticed how wet my cheeks were, without any reason at all.

Perhaps.

There was a time where I may have used this once when I was a kid.

ーー END OF DAY 1 ーー

DAY 2 - A Trivial Day

Someday you’ll learn that you won’t be able to see the dream.

The things that you see in this moment,

is a repeat of the past that actually happened.

Or maybe it's self-analysis and self-accusation.

A refrain of both present and future that borrowed the condition of a lucid dream.

TRANSLATION WILL BE SUSPENDED TEMPORARILY DUE TO OTHER PRIORITIES TO ATTEND TO. RESUME DATE: TBD

DAY 3 - Reverse Impulse

CAUTION: This chapter contains extreme gore and depictions that can be uncomfortable to readers. Please exercise caution when reading this chapter.

Note 2: This is completely written based on Arcueid’s Route. Ciel’s route will have completely different branches and paths.

Sensei once told me

The things that my eyes are seeing and the lines that are easily cut off.

To put it in human body terms, it’d be something like arthrosis that bends easily,

or soft, gentle eyeballs.

As long as I put my blade and slice through it, all things can be severed off without the need of any strength, any resistance, nor any friction.

This doesn’t limit to only the human body, but also minerals or anything that applies.

And the lines will appear within my eyesight evenly.

“Listen well, Shiki. Everything that exists has their fate of “breaking down” included within. As long as it has a shape, then it’s a premise where nothing could ever escape that fate, right?”

This also means that the world is filled with patchworks and it’s not surprising that everything would break.

And if the ground is filled with scribbles running over the place.

Eventually, without reason, the ground will split away, and it’s possible that everything could break down.

At the very least, this applies to the world in my view.

“And then, we humans are even more fragile, and break down easily. Whether it’s getting hurt and recover from it, or growing up and getting old, or be in your prime or getting weak, all of these are changes that approach the end”

When I understood what she said, I truly thank my sensei for giving me the glasses from the bottom of my heart.

I mean, it’s true. If I have to live my life having to always look at those lines, I have to be something out of ordinary or I’ll never be able to live.

The lines that allow things to break down easily.

Indeed a world without promise (union).

Even if I look at something like that

It’s not as if I’ve gained anything from itーーーー

---

“ーーーーーー, ngh”

Waking up from the old memories

As I feel the morning light through my eyelids, I reach out to my pillow while my eyes remain closed.

….Eh…My glasses...not here?

As I felt that sense of discomfort, I attempted to search for my glasses on the right side of the pillow, I quickly took the glasses with my hand.

Although I’m used to putting my glasses on the left side...the headache last night was so severe that maybe I wasn’t in the condition to do that.

“Fuh…”

I wear my glasses and open my eyelids.

Though anyone would think I have some very peculiar habit if they look at my behaviour, I want to avoid being in the situation where I can see the “lines” in the morning as much as possible.

“Good morning, Shiki-sama”

“Gah!?”

I then turn my head to face the wall and over there lies a girl in her maid dress, standing.

I did not realize her presence at all there, but it seems that she was standing there earlier.

She’s probably here to wake me up and ensure I do not oversleep, like what she was doing yesterday.

“I see. Sorry, it was weird for me to be surprised. Good morning, Hisui. Thank you for coming here to wake me up”

“It is my duty here, so please do not pay any mind here”

Hisui then solemnly lowered her head down.

...And after stopping halfway for a moment, she quickly raises her head.

“No, I didn't mean to surprise you as it’s not my duty here. ーー I’ll work better not to surprise you starting tomorrow.”

...Really, this maid can be a little bit weird at places.

She’s perfect in managing her duties as a waiting maid, but she doesn’t seem to be used to social relationships, that's how it feels.

“No, I don’t think there’s any problem with you here, Hisui. I was wrong for not getting used to it yet.”

As I got out of the bed, I realized that my attire was changed to a night wear while I was asleep.

...If I’m not wrong, I changed my attire to my uniform yesterday night due to that howling sound and I went straight to my bed without changing after coming back though…?

“...That’s weird. I should be wearing my uniform while sleeping”

“Yes. Since it wouldn’t be good for your body if you keep this up, my sister came over and had your attire changed while you were sleeping.”

Hisui explained things in a way as if things were natural.

I see, so she changed my attire.

I don’t think it’ll affect my health if I sleep like that while wearing my uniform, but it’s true that it’ll cause wrinkles, and sleeping with my sleep wear is definitely a lot more comfortable. I see, what a professional maid indeed, very attentive and ーー wait a minute.

“My attire’s changed?”

I then check my pants and my underwear.

Pants seem to be new and the attire I wear while sleeping, and even my underwear is brand new.

“Hisui”

“Yes, what is it”

“I’m happy for the consideration and all that, but from now on please wake me up when this happens…..I mean, changing attire is something I can do by myself”

Feeling embarrassed over how late this has become, I unconsciously averted my eyesight away. And Hisui, even looking at me here, responded with a yes and nodded without any expression.

“Your school uniform is folded up and located over there. Please move to the living room after you’ve done changing”

“....Sigh. Normally I would have realized this immediately, but I really was tired, didn’t I…”

It won’t change the fact that it already happened even if I were to reflect over this.

I then quickly change into my uniform and head down to have my breakfast.

The school uniform is neatly folded, and even the shirt is properly ironed.

As my arm passed through the sleeve, it felt like I’m wearing a brand new uniform and it felt great.

I faintly gazed at the crowds in front of the station

It’s now 2pm in the afternoon.

Though there are no signs of any decline in this bustling city.

The high amount of people that pass by.

Without locking my eyesight on these people who are walking just right besides me, whom I know neither their names nor their identities, I focused only on heading to my own destination.

In the same place where there are signs of so many people around, everybody’s sights are just fixed at one point.

Like how these people are the main characters of their own story,

They live their own roles, living through the day of their own.

An everyday where anyone could see it, but saw nothing.

Their everyday lives remain uncrossed, without any diverging new paths.

The knowledge of obtaining the minimum tranquility through the least effort possible.

Seems that humans chose the path of individualism that is a necessity yet unrelated.

“......”

Probably because of the slight fever, I somehow felt sentimental there.

“......Let’s go home”

Considering I’ve settled down, remaining here would just make me indulge in unwanted contemplations.

I then stand up from the bench, and start blending myself into the crowd.

While remained anemic that dulled my thought process, I start heading to the mansion

I just feel like becoming an organ that does not but breathing, in this room where no one would visit, while removing the glasses and closing my eyes.

That is, until I passed by this woman.

“ーーー”

I even thought the time stopped suddenly.

Etching that moment into my memories, like how my entire being has been completely drawn in.

ーー The sound of a heartbeat.

The golden hair, the crimson eyes.

The while dress, the white shadow.

The snowfield without a single footprints.

A pure, stainless silhouette that is reminiscent of a sacred mountain beyond human comprehension.

ーー The sound of a heartbeat.

The pulse starts rising suddenly.

The rate starts to shake off.

The vein and artery starts to activate.

The nerves begin to dissipate, one after another, and I start to hallucinate (dream) that my spinal cord starts heating up.

If this is what one would call getting lost in admiration, then this is unmistakably engrossment.

My legs already stopped.

I start turning back and turn my sights on the shadow of that woman who passed by, unwilling to lose it.

“ ーーー, ーーーーーー”

I then realize I forgot to even breathe.

It’s nauseating.

I can’t breathe.

I have a hard time breathing.

I can’t remember how to even properly breathe no matter how hard I try.

“ ーーー, ーーーーーー”

My throat burns

Feels like my eyeballs are getting crushed.

My palm begin to sweat profusely

I’m sweating so much despite lacking in blood, frozen cold like how my fingertips lost its senses altogether,

Remembering how the ecology (oneself) is an animal (lifeform) here.

Remembering that alone made me start breathing once again.

However that rationality,

It’s not like I’m making any mistakes.

It’s not like I’ve made any choices.

I just wanted to go home.

That rationality.

Vaguely, I realized that the tightrope I had been tricking myself into walking until now had been cut.

“Hah ーーー Hah ーーー Hah”

...I have to pursue it.

I have to pursue that woman.

Track, and trail, and have a talk.

I then move my frozen legs,

Heating up that breath like ■■■■

Yearning for the figure of that white prey.

“Hah ーーー Hah ーーー Hah”

The woman walks slowly.

I care not about any of this.

ーーー A faint question then crossed through my mind.

Not interested? This is impossible. Is that actually the case. However the truth is I didn’t realize this at all. Certainly after something, must be after something. I’m probably extremely tired. I feel exhausted. I’m completely spent. Which is exactly why this is a chance. The reason why I felt so much like this, in other words/because I have that certainty/that I can completely ■ her.

.gnihgual m'I ekil ,dnuora lla reh kcil ot tnaw I

I wonder since when (what age) did I have my desires fulfilled

.em fo detcepxe s'ti ekil ,seceip dnasuoht otni reh ecils ot tnaw I

Not through paying the price of sex nor masturbation, something more simple, more primitive

.reh rovas dluow I woh ekil ,nwod reh kaerb ot tnaw I

I don’t remember. To begin with, I still...

.tnetnoc straeh ym ot reh ■ ot tiaw t'nac I

I do not remember that “first time”.

I let out a sigh as if it’s an emotion (breath) that I don’t believe I own.

I clench my chest as if to endure my boiling emotion.

The woman’s chastity that swims amongst the congestion, looking delicious as if it’s elegant.

“ーーーー”

My throat is hot.

I could not breathe properly at all since just now.

But so what? This is a given.

Such a ■ lies in front of my sight right now, it’d be rude as a life form to not get excited over it.

I took out something from my bag.

I put it into my pocket and continued moving.

The sound of “kachunk” can be heard with my fingers touching the metal.

How lucky I am.

Precisely the moment of having all the necessary tools ready.

How wonderful, I feel high. What a sensual encounter.

Let’s maintain a sufficient distance.

So that I’ll not get found out.

Like how she would not notice the hindrance surrounding her.

Me and that woman are complete strangers.

Which is why I have to remain natural as much as possible, I have to  get moving and trace that scent.

The woman entered the apartment.

An automatic glass door. The security is flawless.

Anyone who isn’t living in this apartment couldn’t even enter the hall.

Walking through the emergency exit. I took off my jacket and left it in the shade. I cut it, and proceeded to enter the apartment.

There’s no shadow whatsoever in the hall.

I look at the elevator, the indicator seems to have stopped on the top most floor.

“ーーーー”

I pressed the call button. I then entered inside.

At that very moment, I felt a sudden chill over that overwhelming sign.

The remnant of that woman's scent makes my mouth slant upwards.

This excites me.

In this cramp, closed room, I hold my weapon that is kept into my pocket firmly.

She is right near me.

And soon I’ll be able to              that woman.

I came out from the elevator.

I realized that there’s not a single shadow in this hallway.

I came out from that cramped room, and walked towards the hallway. No single human shadow is seen.

I couldn’t believe it.

There’s nothing but only one word that comes out from my brain.

Woman.

That woman.

And I, until my heart is contentーーー

The room no.3 now appears in front of me.

It’s here, I’m sure of it. Other rooms seem to be empty. Can I actually tell that for sure? I definitely am sure. Such a sense of smell of this level is something any animal will possess as long as they live, whether they like it or not, and it's just a matter of living in indolence that makes them forget about it. How pathetic. How intolerable. Nothing one can do about it. The rules of this civilized society are very gentle and harmless. Which is precisely why this trivial impulse ended up being fatal.

“ ーーー, ーーーーーー”

As I tried to press that doorbell, I stopped.

The glasses were a nuisance.

Having such a thing on me would make me unable to do the things I want to achieve.

“ーーーDo you understand now?

You must not ever view things with thoughtless feelings, okay?”

“......” 

There was a woman who used to tell me those words in the distant past.

But now I couldn’t remember the name nor the face of that person.

I removed my glasses slowly.

The wriggle lines are like the wrinkles that have aged.

I don’t understand it very well myself.

I have no idea what I’m trying to do here.

I wonder why I am doing such a thing.

What does Shiki Tohno ーーー want to do with the woman he met just now.

I do not know.

I pressed the doorbell, remaining unknown over what to do here.

“Yes”

The door opens and a voice that can be heard beyond the door.

In one split moment.

I then slip into the room through that smallest amount of gap that was given.

“Eh ーーー”

The woman raised her voice.

Or, she tried.

Never in all eternity will I be hearing the voice of a woman who I’ve been so obsessed and yearning for anymore.

All things would have already ended beforehand.

The moment I step into the room, the sound of a firing pin, a “kachin” sound can be heard.

The sound of the door. The creaking brain. The end of an alarm bell.

None of which applies. Then what is it exactly?

There’s no need to guess. There’s only one process (sound).

The climax (voice) of the knife unleashed, and nothing else.

In one moment, I passed through the line seen on that woman’s body.

Stab.

Slice.

Pass through.

Run through.

Cutting her up into little pieces.

And murdered her thoroughly, until the very end.

A total of 17 lines on her body.

Everything. The neck, the occipital region, from the right eye to the lips, upper right arm, bottom right arm, right ring finger, left elbow, left thumb, middle finger, left breast, The same 2 spots starting from the ribs up to the heart, as well as the gastric region to the abdomen, left crotch, left thigh, left shank, left toes.

Passing by each other, taking not even a second.

The truth     In a split moment    completely.

With that, all 17 pieces of meat, completely dismembered.  

“ーーーEh”

A completely foolish yet idiotic voice can be heard.

Unable to realize how that voice itself poured out from my own throat.

A feeling of dizziness and lightheadedness.

The sight of dismembered something laid in front of my eyes, scattering around.

On this marble floor, a red liquid can be seen splashing all over the place, like a bucket full of water has been flipped.

The smell of blood that chokes.

The surface has been sliced clean, and the inner organs remained intact without spilling over.

It’s just a sight of color red that invades the floor, like a wave that gushes over.

Nothing is strange.

There wasn’t anything in this room. Just the hand and legs of a dismembered woman, and myself who is standing behind them.

“ーーWhat did...Iーー”

A red corrosion that is overly vivid.

I have the murder weapon, a knife, in my hand.

“She ーー is dead”

This is obvious.

If she survived this, she wouldn't be a human.

“ーーWhy?”

What did I mean by why?

In this moment, through my hands.

Didn’t I simply just dismembered a woman who I know nothing at all into pieces? Under the hands of Shiki Tohno?

“Iーーkilled her?”

Oh, without a doubt.

Or was I wrong?

I did not have a reason. Therefore it’s wrong. It can’t be right. But I never had a reason right from the start. Therefore wrong, it can’t be right. I am the only one here. Though there was another person just now, but now I’m the only one left alive. Therefore it’s wrong, it can’t be right. But I don’t have a reason, I didn’t have the reason, I didn’t even feel like it, I, I was not sane at that time. No, I wasn’t actually sane to begin with. Therefore it’s wrong, no, it’s not right, it shouldn’t be right, it shouldn’t be ーー

ーー The red blood on this marble floor keeps spreading wide.

All over the place.

I can feel the red blood that’s approaching my legs.

“............Ah”

 I lifted my shoes out of surprise, but couldn’t make it.

That woman’s red blood stickily stretched out through her legs and the floor like a coal tar.

“ーーーー”

Aaahh, Aaaa, it’s, a, red, blood.

That nasty color that continues to flow and drag on even now since you dismembered them into pieces.

“ーーIt’s not, me”

Yes, it shouldn't be right.

Wrong, it’s wrong. Definitely not right. Definitely wrong.

That is definitely  

1. Definitely a certain nightmare
2. ….No, It’s a reality I caused myself

Choice: 1 (You are forced to pick the first choice for your first playthrough, Finishing Arcueid’s route will unlock the second choice that leads to Ciel’s route.)

….This is definitely a nightmare.

But, if that’s so, then why is the smell of that blood the only thing that’s awfully realistic here.

“....That’s...not true”

Not true   Not true   Not true   Not true

Not true   Not true   Not true   Not true

Is it not true that I was the one who killed her.

Or is it not true that I wasn’t the one who did the murder.

“....I mean, there’s, no reason”

No, the reason was clear.

When I look at the woman, I can't help but to think of only one thing in mind.

“Iーー”

Yes, I ーー

Shiki Tohno wanted to murder this woman.

That fact itself was everything to me at that time.

It’s only because my head was in a complete mush and I didn't bother trying to put those images into words.

“No that’s not ーー right”

Feeling nauseating over the smell of blood.

“Ah ーー ough”

Something in my stomach is coming back at me.

“Ah ーー A”

The crimson starts entering into my eyeballs.

The dizziness that shakes my brain over.

I then knelt in the sea of blood, just like that.

“Bーーlarggghhhーー”

The gastric juice flows backwards.

I vomit everything out of my stomach.

All the food eaten, all that gastric juice, I vomited everything out while crying.

There’s nothing in my stomach.

And yet, my body kept forcing me to vomit, as if to pretend whatever has happened up to this point never happened and trying to return to my normal, everyday life.

“Cough ーー  bleargh”

It hurts.

Like how my visceral organs started burning up in flames.

I couldn’t stop my tears, and my body collapsed onto the floor, like a garbage that fell.

With a splash, my body is now dyed in red.

How painful and how red it was, like I was looking at a dream or something.

I couldn’t stop crying.

It was awfully sad to know how it feels to have murdered a person.

…...No, that wasn’t right.

It's a terribly sad thing to know how easy it was to dismember a doll into pieces without any meaning nor any speckle of mercy.

ーー I don’t know at all.

I don’t know why I’m feeling like this.

I don’t know why I killed a person without any reason at all.

I couldn’t understand the reason at all.

“ーー This is a lie”

Because it doesn’t even feel real.

I mean, look here, it’s the usual dizziness at play, and throughout that dizziness I saw a dreamーー

“ーー This is a lie”

I mean, how could one knife itself end up dismembering a person into pieces like that.

I’ve heard stories on how it took a complete day and a heavy labor to dismember one person into pieces using a saw.

Therefore, there is no way a knife itself can do such a thing.

The “lines” don’t actually exist to begin with, it’s just some delusion I’ve thought up myself at a whimーーーー

“ーー This is a lie”

The gastric juice leaked out from my lips

From my chin all the way down is all filled with gastric juice, let alone my mouth.

The gastric juice mixes up with that crimson liquid.

Despite having nothing to throw up, because of how my stomach is writhing that my esophagus and my throat are bleeding.

“Pa...inーー”

Pain.

That’s why it’s definitely not a dream or anything but a lie that I did to myself.

“ーーEverything, was a lie”

That’s right. I actually understand this.

I was aroused. I was excited when I met this woman.

So are my eyes

If I already understood well that the line would allow me to cut anything off like cutting through a paper.

Shiki Tohno should have understood the fact that humans can be dismembered into pieces so easily.

And I didn’t even consider this easy fact at all, and lived so irresponsibly like that.

…If I’m such a dangerous person who can easily kill without regard, I should have just crushed my eyes or live a life where I wouldn’t have to meet anyone at all.

“......I’m sorry, Sensei”

ーー I’m truly sorry.

Shiki Tohno couldn’t even protect that simple thing at allーー

“Am I ーー am I still sane”

I don’t know. I no longer have that impulse that was weiling within me just now.

But at that time, the thought of  enduring or tolerating it did not cross my mind. Not even once.

“Kill that woman”

I thought of such a thing like it's second nature to me, and I ended up following through with it.

...If that’s the case, the answer is simple.

I must have turned insane.

Probably, 7 years ago.

The moment I miraculously survived from the supposedly fatal accidentーー

---

… I can hear the sound of rain coming from somewhere.

A long, dense rain shower.

“ーーーー”

I feel like fading away

I feel the pain on my throat whenever I breathe

“Pa….in”

I raised my voice.

“ーーーーShiki-sama?”

In this very moment, I felt the presence of a certain someone who is right beside me.

“It’s ーー my room”

Before I knew it, I was lying on my bed in my own room.

I then wore my specs that were located on my bedside.

“Good morning, Shiki-sama”

“Hisui…?”

“Yes, are you in a better condition now?”

“......”

Hisui is surely asking weird questions here.

My condition? Of course there's nothing wrong with my bodyーー

“Whyーー”

Yes. Why.

Why am I sleeping at this place?

“I ーー killed a person ーー”

I then keep my mouth shut over almost blurting it out, despite I did the murder.

My rationale is halting the actions I’m about to take as that’s the only word that I shouldn’t be saying this out of my mouth.

“Hisui, why am I here?”

“....Don’t you remember, Shiki-sama?”

Hisui faintly frowns.

“We receive a call from your school that you have been dismissed early, however as you did not return even after evening approaches, Kohaku proceeded to look for you and she found you resting at the park.”

“Park  ーー as in the park nearby?”

“Yes. you were resting at the bench there, and after that, you walked back to your own mansion.”

“...You must be kidding me. I don’t remember doing that at all.”

“Shiki-sama, I do not think it was strange that your memories weren’t clear at that time. Since you were in a frail condition due to anemia, your consciousness may have been clouded at one point.”

“........”

…...I don’t remember this at all.

But Hisui’s words left no room for doubt.

“....Ah, it was already 9pm at night.……I certainly don’t remember a thing at all”

“Yes. The moment you returned to the mansion, you then mentioned that you wanted to sleep, and proceeded to head to your room to rest. I wanted to call for a doctor but you replied “It’s just the usual”. “

“ーーIs that so. Though fainting over anemia is a usual thing ーー”

But this is different.

I murdered a person ーー No, wait.

“Hisui, what did I look like at that time?”

“ーーWhat?”

“I mean my attire. Like my shirt or boots, like, was there any blood ーー”

Since it was wet and sticky.

“It it’s about your uniform, I’ve taken your clothes for a laundry since it was dirty”

“Laundry? With my clothes full of blood?”

“...Sure, your clothes were drowned in mud and all, but we did not find any traces of blood. Moreover, the ones that were dirty would be your shirt and trousers, but not your coat however”

“ ーーーー”

...That’s impossible.

Even when I was kneeling in a pool of blood, with my legs and arms being full of blood…?

“Shiki-sama, did you experience some kind of a bad dream? You seem to have experienced a nightmare not long ago, and your face is currently looking pale.”

Hisui proceeds to stare at my face.

“That’s ーー a dream?”

It was a dream? That?

That sensation.

The smell of that blood.

That woman in white that looks like a miracle.

“No ーー I mean, you’re right. That’s just a terrible dream”

I then let out a long sigh of relief.

ーーThat’s right.

That was just a nightmare.

That was no way I would be doing such a thing, breaking the promise I had with Sensei when I was young, not without any proper reason nor meaning.

“Ahhーーthat woke me up”

“If Shiki-sama’s up for it, I shall go have your meal prepared”

“Eh...No, I mean, no dinner…”

...Even if I understand that it was just a dream, the sight of that red blood and its smell couldn’t leave my brain.

“Sorry, I don’t need it. I shall go to sleep after this. Rather, Hisui”

“Yes, what would it be, Shiki-sama?”

“Well that. When I returned to the mansion this evening, did Akiha say anything about it?”

“If it’s about Akiha-sama, she hadn’t come back home yet when you did. It happened around 2 hours before her usual homecoming hours, although I’ve already relayed your condition to her.”

Hisui then puts up a silent expression that signals a “what about it?”, as if to ask me back a question.

“...No, nothing in particular. I wonder if she got astounded over how I was bringing trouble when I’ve just came back for 3 days,”

“....Though it did affect Akiha-sama’s mood and she was offended by it, but it wasn’t to the point of being astonished or anything”

After saying that, Hisui then took a step back.

“Now I shall get going. Please give me a call if you need anything from me.”

“Yeah. Thank you ーー Oh, and one thing I forgot to ask”

“Yes, what would it be, Shiki-sama?”

“Looks like it’s raining outside. Since when did the rain start falling?”

“That happened way before you returned to this mansion. When my sister found you, you were drenched wet under the rain”

“......”

I see now. I don’t even remember it happened.

Must have been a severe anemia right there. ...If that’s the case, I should have taken a day off from school and rest completely.

“Good night. I’m very sorry for what happened today. Please pass Kohaku my thanks as well”

“Understood ーー please have a good night”

“ーーAhh. So it was a dream”

….The words that murmured were dreary everywhere.

I couldn’t feel it at all.

Not even the realization that what happened was a dream, as well as the fact that it was a dream.

The sounds of rain coming from the outside.

My head is still subtly heavy.

Suddenly, I look at my own chest.

…...That old wound from 7 years ago still remains and can be seen as clear as day even today, like a burn mark.

“....Ah”

The knife, a memento given to me by my father can be seen placed on top of the table in this very room.

“ ーーーーー”

That’s just a dream.

So it shouldn’t be anything else aside from it being a dream.

I proceed to close my eyelids, in order to repeat the act of trying to deceive myself.

…...I exhale for as long as I can, trying to take in the fragrance that has taken up the room into my lungs.

I cut off my consciousness and surrendered myself to the dark slumber.

During my childhood,

Although I do remember a certain someone used to tell me not to create lies that I couldn’t fool myself into believing.

ーー END OF DAY 3 ーー

DAY 4 - The Flaming River of Blood I

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