LEGO Trilogy

Part I

        

Darkness. That was the first thing the LEGO man’ eyes registered when he suddenly gained consciousness. There was no loud noise or alarm. He simply awoke as if someone had flipped a switch inside his mind. he was in a large dark space. Dimly, he could see the outlines of other LEGOs in translucent little bags. He was no ordinary LEGO figure, he decided.  

Suddenly, he noticed a figure, just like him, in one of the bags. Actually, the other LEGO man was all over the place, because his head , body, and feet were separated.  the newly-awakened plastic man slowly and stiffly walked over. Nothing moved. He looked at the other bags. they looked like they were from the time of and knights and castles. There was a miniature breastplate, a helmet, some assorted accessories. And then finally....the weapons!

There was an axe, a sword, and a spear. But try as he might, he could not get the bag open.

Without warning, his world turned upside down as his lego box turned over and over. His world became a confusing tangle of darkness and shapes. Then the box bounced up and down with brutal rhythm. After that, there was a loud clunk as the box was set on some solid object. Then silence. All the banging and crashing had opened a tiny hole. He peeked through, and saw a massive room filled with shapes and colors. There was a huge box that seemed to be made of two boxes, a rectangle and a square (a refrigerator). There were many strips of color on it. He seemed to be nearing a flat rectangle held up by 4 big pillars (a table). Loud alien voices came from outside his box.

Suddenly, a huge metal triangle sliced through the ceiling! It narrowly missed the plastic man, and sawed a rough box with a rough scraping noise. The box was opened, and light flooded inside. A huge round head stared in. The head was huge, had no connector hole on top, unlike him, and had 2 big circles in it’s head. The 2 orbs constantly twitched, and a veil of material occasionally closed over them. A huge  thing with 5 smaller appendages (a hand) closed over 2 of the bags and lifted them up and out. The LEGO person was frozen with horror. The appendage  (or hand ) repeated this action twice. A red slit opened on the head, revealing a  red worm and hard white squares (a mouth). Then those roving circles (or eyes) landed on him. The appendage grabbed him in a soft embrace and lifted him up toward the head. It’s going to eat me thought the LEGO man. But instead, the creature set him down on the flat rectangle with 4 pillars. The place was huge.

The huge creature grabbed the bizarre instrument it had used to saw the box open (a scissor) and sliced open one of the bags with a scissoring motion. He took a bunch of floppy sheets of multicolored stuff attached together one on top of another, and flipped it open so some pieces were on the left side and some were on the right side (a book). A huge creature entered through a gargantuan rectangle that flipped open. This creature was a lot bigger than the original one. It carried a white flat surface pile high with steaming hot worms in gloppy red sauce (spaghetti). It put them on the table. The original creature, meanwhile, was assembling a kind of structure out of LEGOs. The LEGO man reasoned that he had to get out of here soon, or else he’d be eaten by these massive creatures. If he jumped down, the resounding clack would get the currently-preoccupied creature’s attention and most certainly get him eaten.

His gaze fell on the steaming pile of noodles, and he got an idea. He grabbed 3 of the noodles and tied them together. He tied one end of the big noodle to a small scab of dried food, and threw the other end down. The LEGO man slowly shimmied down the long noodle and dropped down on the floor. He walked out of the dining room and into a bigger space. There were puffier versions of the thing the creature in the dining room was sitting on. And there was a huge thing bigger than three puffy chairs  (a couch). He found he could learn what those things were when he saw them. And when one of the creatures spoke, he found he could understand it’s language (“but I wanna work on my Lego now!”) .

Just then, he felt a tremor in the floor. Something big was approaching. He hid below the big couch and watched. He saw 4 big paws come forward. A huge snout dipped low and sniffed. How had this creature known he was there? He looked at his hands, smeared with the tomato sauce. It could smell his hands! he looked around for a weapon. He risked a peek from under the couch.A huge dog loomed over him. It picked the Lego figure up like a chew toy and flung him. By chance, the Lego man landed on a counter-top with paintings in a row and there was a massive bulletin board with some papers tacked up. He hid behind one of the paintings as the dog sniffed around. The Lego man spied a box of pins used to tack up paper. He inched from one propped up picture frame to the other, making short, quick dashes. When he finally reached the box, he selected one of the pins, hid behind a picture frame, and waited. The plastic man heard the dog sniffing around, getting closer. The Lego man sprinted out from the painting, leaped off the ledge, and dived headfirst at the dog with the pin.

The pin sank to it’s plastic part into the dog’s fur. the dog yowled in pain and twisted around. The mini-figure was flung to the floor. The dog trotted off into the kitchen.

The mini-figure decided he had to get out of this place as quickly as possible. He walked across the hardwood floor, darting from 1 piece of cover to another. Finally, he found the noodles he had used to get down from the table. He climbed up, and saw that the human had built a little castle out of Legos. It was more of a small building, really, because there weren’t many halls or rooms. He wandered  through the castle. The lego man finally found a mini-figure that suited his needs most. He pried off the helmet and looked at it. It was the conical kind, but it had no mouth or face guard. He selected a helmet from a nearby figure that was sturdier and had a mouth guard.  

              

He also took a shield and a spear from the figure. He pilfered a suit of a armor, but with some difficulty (he had to take off the mini-figure's head and his own to put it on! but the Lego man felt nothing). Now he was a real warrior! he journeyed from huge room to gigantic room. These dwellings were a wonder to him. When the Lego man climbed onto the rectangle, he found that it was surprisingly soft. It was here that he found the Lego box. It looked like a huge treasure tub to him. He climbed in and waded through the legos. He gave himself a more protected suit with a full helmet and green visor.

     He went from room to room looking. Walking by, he saw a bunch of enormous rectangles pressed side by side, each taller than the one before it. He struggled up onto the first rectangle. Then he crawled up the second.... and the third..... and the fourth..... 30 minutes later, he crawled up the last rectangle, and saw a whole new world to explore. There was a hallway with 3 doors leading off it.         

. He explored the a room. That room was a kid’s room. There was a huge object (a bed) that he’d seen earlier, a rectangle with many levels filled with rectangular objects with writing down their sides (a shelf) and a few massive bins. He climbed into one of the bins....... Almost every sort of action figure hero and villain was piled in the box. He saw a clear rectangle cut into the wall and outside it he could hear many strange sounds. He decided he wanted to explore the world that lay outside. But he had to find a way to get  out safely. He built a large series of steps.

       

The process took him an hour, but when he was finally finished, he climbed up the stairs onto the bed. He walked toward his goal: the big clear rectangle. then, he climbed up onto a bedpost and dropped down on a small ledge jutting out from the wall directly below the clear rectangle. He looked out: he saw a large fuzzy-looking green rectangle far below him a massive ledge overlooked this rectangle. The ledge was directly below the window (the ledge was a roof, under the roof was a porch). The mini-figure pondered how he would get down safely. Then, he had an idea. He had seen an action-figure soldier with a large cloth rectangle on his back. there were words on the back, and they said “parachuting soldier.”

   

Maybe he could jump down while clinging to the soldier, and pull the chute and float safely down. So he grabbed the soldier, lifted him up, and carried him up the stairs, but he needed both hands to climb up the bedpost, so the lego man wrapped a spare rubber band he had found around the soldier’s waist and his waist. He saw that there was a white band holding the rectangle in place. Maybe if he could get the chute out of the white band, the chute would unfold. So, with the soldier on his back, he began to climb up. He went to the rectangle...... and heard footsteps closing in on him from the hall. It was now or never.  The minifigure leaned out....... and jumped! Things went wrong from the start. He rolled down the roof, bumping and smashing, while furiously trying to get the white band off. He ripped off the white band at the edge of the roof at the last moment  and plummeted into space. Luckily, a breeze lifted him up, and the Lego floated safely to the ground. He got up and heard the voices of several humans floating out of the window he had just jumped. He could understand what they were saying.

“Jack, come look at this! someone built a stair out of Legos! and someone took one of my parachutin’ soldiers!.”

“Who did it?”

“Was it any of you boys?”

“No!”

The lego man listened and looked behind him. He was standing on an enormous red square. Beyond it, there was the enormous green square. (the red square was a patio). He walked around, listening and looking at this wonderful new living green world. The minifigure walked toward his goal: the big green rectangle(the lawn). On a closer look, the lego man found that the green rectangle was actually comprised of many little green shoots sticking upward to waist height. Some long green needles were strewn every which way on the grass. He snapped one and looked at it. It would make a good spear. Then, he saw something crawling toward him. Its body was made up of 2 parts, it had 8 long legs,and 8 eyes. The lego man gripped his crude spear tightly.

His opponent made it’s move. Rushing at the lego man, it was upon him before he could react. The spider tried to bite him with its fangs, but it’s fangs couldn’t pierce his plastic body. The lego man made his move. He stabbed with his pine needle at the spider’s face, jabbing and slashing.  Soon, the spider was overcome, but more spiders appeared out of the  undergrowth. They must be territorial,  he thought. So he charged.  He stabbed the first 2 spiders with all his might, and they fell. The minifigure flipped his next opponent on it’s back and stabbed down. But for every one he defeated, 2 more took it’s place. The lego man would have to run for it. He cleared a path through the enemy hostiles, stabbing and knocking spiders out of the way. That night, as he rested in a makeshift campsite, he pondered if he should do the humans a favor and exterminate the spiders once and for all.

                                .............................

The next day, at dawn, he grabbed his pine needle spear and set off. The spiders lived in an old pine tree at the edge of the green rectangle. a few scouts were up and about at this time of early morning. He quickly dispatched these. As he got closer, the spiders in the tree saw him, and soon a horde of spiders poured out of the tree, and the Lego minifigure braced himself for the coming assault. The spiders in the first wave battered him with their legs and bit him with their fangs, but they only succeeded in scratching him. The lego man batted them away and stabbed and thrusted at them. The spiders began to give ground, but the hordes seemed to be endless. The lego man grew weary. Still, he battled on. Soon, he got to the base of the tree. Here the horde of hostiles seemed like it was never going to end. still he battled on. He lost track off all time, he was numb. The Lego automatically slashed, smashed, and smacked with his  pine needle. The rate of spiders coming out of the tree started with a deluge, then it slowed into a stream, now finally a trickle. Then spiders stopped coming out altogether. As the last spider was slain, the lego man looked around him. The area was littered with corpses, wounded, and dying spiders. The lego man staggered back to his crude campsite. By this time, the fiery ball that rose and fell every day was high in the sky, and one of the smaller humans exited their living space and walked out to play, as he did every day. When he found the battlefield, he shouted

“Dad, come look at this! You know those stupid brown spiders that live in the pine tree”?

        “Yeah? What about them”?

        “Someone killed a few dozen of ‘em! they’ve been......stabbed, or something.....”

        “Was it you?”

        “No!”

        The lego figure listened, and he was glad he had done something for the humans. He rested. He had won.

                                the end