[a]Yes, such a big problem! Especially in younger generations who move into cities

[b]https://maxwellsocial.com/ - a few friends have been meaningfully thinking about this for a little bit. They're building a new physical venue in NYC. @nikhil@outofpocket.health

[c]This is the same conclusion I've come to in the last few years! I also had a business idea to address this and help people out - we should meet up and chat about this sometime!

[d]I think it might be 2 steps:

1. Meeting new people

2. Actually making friends (Isn't the stat something along the lines of 90 hours to make a friend?)

[e]Somehow, the (online) world felt closer together and less lonely in the early decades of the Internet. What did we lose in the process?

[f]Ads.

Social networks becoming social media platforms.

Drifting more towards content created by brands and influencers.

[g]There are also just a lot more people can platforms; can't reliably come online and expect a defined set of people to be there (e.g. old school AOL AIM) ... microcommunities where people are reliably there are needed

[h]Where do you draw the line between authenticity and vulnerability?

Can you be vulnerable and feel self-assured at the same time?

[i]But common interests/circumstances and well-engineered prompts/icebreakers can be excellent accelerants 🙂

[j]I'd argue they can actually develop fairly rapidly. Supporting/Controlling them as they grow and keeping them together over time is very difficult.

[k]Great points. I have been looking to build something similar. Losing friends due to ideological incompatibility. Need a way to make new ones.

[l]something to keep in mind as you try to quantify this is that people of different personalities like to engage differently or do better in certain contexts. someone quieter may be just as engaged listening in group settings and having 1:1 follow-ups than people presenting or submitting snippets

[m]this--found this to be a really important point when I ran the MIT Moth events--a lot of people asked for more intimate group sessions along with the larger events

[n]+1. I lurk hard, but would consider that behavior highly engaged (for me). I understand where you're coming from though - and I wonder if there's another word besides "engagement" to use here - as a community full of lurkers doesn't move forward and expand.

[o]And when you go to a bar, you can't meet new people anymore; everyone is in their personal bubble or small friend circle

[p]+1

[q]+1

[r]+1

[s]+1 - the exception to this is hostels abroad, where you can meet anyone and everyone both at the hostel in common spaces or out at expat bars. The openness to meet others even if only for one conversation was incredible. I think why people feel more comfortable doing so is the acknowledgment that the interaction is going to be brief by nature of everyone traveling and moving on; you're there to enjoy the moment without responsibility or expectation to keep it going unless you make a good connection. There's more value placed on and pleasure derived from those ephemeral connections too since your socialization during solo travel is built by them. Maybe living in a world where we want to optimize each interaction and experience causes us to lose the pleasure of those same interactions when we're back in our "daily" lives?

[t]+1

[u]+1

Also on what Jim said

[v]+1

To expand on this further, I think people want consumption optional venues. Most of socialization in New York is centered around spending a lot of money. Drinks, brunch, shows, films. I miss the days of high school or college where you had public spaces to just... be, and not only would people be content with that, but they'd be really happy to have that time with one another. To be truly present with each other, what a gift.

[w]i think people also want to dance and sing but loneliness is correlated with self-consciousness.

so many people who say they can't sing LOVE karoake

see also: Nikhil's experience with bangrha

[x]i think intent / content / something specific helps create new unique memories together that aren't based on just perception; ex. me telling you about my past and us trying to find a common point, vs actually doing something new together and "progressing forward"  / "creating new surface area" for our relationship.

[y]Though I agree that it is an absolute pain to consider downloading yet another app - I want to plug one app that actually may be worth the hassle.

Its called "Piccup" https://www.thepiccup.com/

Nikhil - I'd like to shoot an email connecting you to the founder, if that works?

[z]+1 to this as a product experience. Don't lock in people to one experience, reach people in multiple experiences and where they are.

[aa]+1 , just annoying to download yet another app that has no explicitly differen function

[ab]+1

[ac]+1

[ad]Technology needs to exist to support the community online. However, it can be fairly limited in sophistication so long as there is enough to establish structure and rules for the group.

[ae]Community use of common platforms outside of the community itself (fb groups/events, ig, group messaging) will help the community function.

[af]+1 for progressive disclosure

[ag]why more important?if the world is moving in that direction, maybe we should lean more into getting good at that. it opens the world to more global experiences and relationships

curious your thoughts here. might even just be semantics (ie. more rare or meaningful)

[ah]I think it's a really core part of relationship building and maintenance (largely because it enables more spontaneity, which IMO is key to make friends) but it just happens less often now and seems somewhat deprioritized

[ai]Not everyone :P I LOVE planning events way more than attending.

[aj]Me too! But my burnout comes from people not being able to commit. If I"m planning something, I don't want to get a bunch of texts an hour before saying "sorry can't make it after all." That's not friendship, that's convenience.

[ak]+1 to both. The Tilt app very effectively solved the group agency problem for events with financial commitment, but they couldn't figure out a business model because it was just payments between friends (hard to put in a take rate).

Curious is there's an Airbnb Experiences Host model to be explored, where a social node or micro-influencer gets compensated for organizing an experience? E.g., if someone plans the camping trip, they don't pay for their share of the food / fuel / etc.? If someone plans a concert outing, their guests split the cost of the host's ticket?

This is sometimes done by courtesy if your friends are conscientious and nice. But it's rare.

[al]Good events are absolutely critical to achieving the 'offline' community aspect.

[am]There must be structure and understood norms (or it's not community). However, a healthy community will allow for diversity of opinions and agency of its members. Decision making that affects the whole should be as democratic as is feasible without limiting function.

[an]Like how this branches out into more experiences which would force more experimentation. All of which would feed back into one another

[ao]you should codify your values and share them with the community. invite them to give feedback, build it together

[ap]+1 and especially as the moderator, as your values drive the experience and what folks get to see.

[aq]Yes! There needs to be a way to engage with the answers beyond the email

[ar]+1

[as]Makes me think of ephemeral membership which I rarely see out there these days. Getting users to do something (e.g. contributing back to some Get X experience) to keep their membership

This would map back to the KPI on engagement you wrote in one of your theses

[at]I am conflicted on this one.

[au]+1 to this - when people dont contribute others get lazy and the engagement drop off is real because people dont like the perception of being watched / judged

[av]:( . I can appreciate the spirit of this, but feels like it could force unwanted behavior

[aw]There should be a ‘barrier to entry' though it should be somewhat minimal. It is necessary to make ‘membership’ something that is desirable, not immediate or obvious, but fairly easily attainable.

[ax]Community should be accommodating to those who want to participate but haven’t committed to joining fully. The barrier between the two must be clearly visible with benefits granted to those who have made the commitment.

[ay]I think it's correct that sub-groups is the best way to handle vetting, encouraged participation and even censure (to the extent that's necessary).

[az]Make people responsible for 'their own'

[ba]who plans? @nikillinit?

[bb]like the emphasis on scarcity, so they feel like meaningful events that people will make an effort to attend

[bc]+1

[bd]Get someone from Sofar sounds involved! They've done such a good job of this.

[be]are these recorded / avail anywhere? They look awesome. Also, @webdevmason on twitter is doing something similar I think.

[bf]love it.

[bg]Yes! 100 points to Gryffindor!

[bh]This tagline, specifically the "social factory" phrasis, is really punchy/compelling.

[bi]I had never heard of this. This was one of the best things I've seen on the internet. What a gift.

[bj]I think email community with rigorous standards for whats acceptable could be beneficial with recurring emails. perhaps weekly curator could change. give it an interesting spin

[bk]Can you do this with Zoom? I know there are breakout rooms for paid plans, but worth looking into the options here

[bl]and maybe selects/showcases something they are nerdy about--different deep dive topics in a way or a way to narrow down those sub groups again

[bm]I second this suggestion! It'd be neat to have a particular focus in rotating areas of expertise, would be an interesting way to learn stuff and make use of the wide knowledge base here.

[bn]Love these. Though half (most) of the fun is getting together IRL and playing?

[bo]I love this--I often want to share articles but they get sort of lost on FB/Twitter

[bp]Group L&D is something I've thought about a lot that could potentially apply here (offline or online). I imagine most individuals in this community are eager to continue learning, but accountability and community are often the blockers. Some thoughts:

- Enrolling for LinkedIn Learning/Udemy coursework with periodic check-ins/discussion forums/sharing projects

- Professional book club, company sponsored interviews

- Pair up people looking to learn skills with those that have them via call or coffee

[bq]TV & Movie watch / binge parties? In line with synchronous socializing bullet above, one thing I dislike about the streaming era is the degree to which content is consumed alone and analyzing and theorizing with friends and co-workers is reduced. Sports and sometimes HBO are the only concurrent shared viewing experiences left.

[br]Could also be done online, could also do book club

[bs]Hackathons?

[bt]Happy to help run this!

[bu]my friend gina, founder of http://www.renaissanceperson.com/  hosts these sorts of things every few weeks :D

[bv]also maybe slightly larger format? like one member teaching a dance class, yoga class, etc. Guess this sort of intersects with Show and Tell

[bw]been thinking about putting a group of friends together and getting like a teacher / prof to teach a short course. feel like learning easily stops beyond school esp about literature art etc. gives friend group new material interests activities to do and talk about + bonding experience of learning together

[bx]Re-stating my comment above: is there an Airbnb hosted experiences model that could work between friends/peers (vs. with strangers in exotic locations)?

[by]Yes, but to work well it needs to be vetted/supported by regional sub-groups.

[bz]For now, I would suggest making the entry point through email still--to help retain an element of community curation. So for now the site is a repository where people signed up for the newsletter can extend their experience, read over past archives and comment on posts to continue the conversation

[ca]Agree with this; I think it makes sense to have a primary funnel through email (with a consistent track record) in addition to referrals

[cb]Something like Discourse?

[cc]Don't know this for sure, but my impression is that (unless industry-specific, or with unusually good keywords,) FB ads would probably get low #, definitely a lower SvN ratio than referrals.

[cd]I would go the referral way first: doesn't have to be $100 just some kind of incentive. You'll get a much higher quality of incoming people and a huge part of this will be maintaining quality and intention of the members. If you do end up doing FB be super intentional about your targeting, use your email list to create friends of targeting etc (i can help with this if you'd like)

[ce]+1 to referral rather than random fb ads

[cf]Agree it doesn't have to be $100: what if it was a shoutout in the newsletter? Each week, the person who gets the most/any subscribers would get an opportunity to plug something ("follow me on Twitter!") to the G.R. community

[cg]I think the key thing here is to distill what the essential part of the idea is —the event MVP— and pilot that, then build out and only then broadcast more widely; my guess is that starting any given new thing on the right foot is crucial