General notes:
Translator’s notes:
Note on formatting:
This is set up in a slightly different forum post format than what readers may be used to - the usernames come after the message itself, like so:
Today someone ate Xue Mengmeng’s desserts. Who could it have been?
1st level: Veggie Bun
In this case, Veggie Bun wrote the comment.
Tags:
This work is much lighter than the novel itself. However, it does contain some jokes about mental illnesses and casual references to cyberbullying (a la typical online interactions).
Translation done by @llwy_jmoon on Twitter. DO NOT REPOST. NO EPUBS OR PDFS.
[Number One Forum of the Cultivation World] [Lifestyle section] [Forum post]
Topic: [Highlight] Recently has anyone received a box of strange desserts?
Contents: I’m very infuriated[1]!!! Someone actually took my desserts!!!
Poster: Phoenix’s first cry[2]
… So? Isn’t it just a box of desserts?
1st level[3]: Zhongshan wolf[4] isn’t greedy
It’s only a box of desserts, and it gets a highlighted post? OP[5], how poor are you?
2nd level: Our sect leader is rich
His poverty has exceeded my imagination.
3rd level: Our manor lord became wealthy
Haha, OP is this poor, you’re from the lower cultivational realm aren’t you?
4th level: Really very smart
I am the OP. Can you all wait for me to finish before responding?
Things happened like this: I recently lost a box of strangely shaped desserts. They were black in color and very hard; when you eat them they’re bitter; when they’re chewed on they’ll release a little bit of wine. It’s not food from the Zhongyuan area[6], and these desserts are rarely seen even in the upper cultivational realm. To my knowledge there are less than ten people who own such a thing.
I personally don’t really like desserts, so me losing them didn’t matter at first. The problem is eating those desserts will cause dangerous effects, so I hope these friends[7] will pass the word along. Whether someone stole it or accidentally took the wrong thing, please don’t eat them, send me a DM, or else you’ll suffer the consequences on your own.
5th level: Phoenix’s first cry
Black, hard, when you chew it there’s wine inside… truly something I have not heard of. @Zhongshan wolf isn’t greedy, you’re an expert in this field, what is your opinion?
6th level: Indiscriminately accepting disciples far and wide
But what dessert would be somewhat bitter? Can OP confirm that this is even edible?
7th level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl[8]
It’s rare that there are foods that I haven’t eaten before in this life.
8th level: Only accepts melatonin as a gift[9]
.... In this life[10]? … That phrasing is very strange, could the one above be a ghost…
9th level: I’m afraid of ghosts
The commenter above, don’t be afraid. The 8th commenter just means from when he was born until now. Although now that we’ve said it, is no one curious about what strange effects will take place once this box of desserts is consumed?
10th level: Jack Ma[11]
… I know who OP is. I’ve seen this box of desserts before. @Phoenix’s first cry, how can you lose such an important thing? When did you lose it? Are there any traces left around the crime scene?
11th level: Zhongshan wolf isn’t greedy
Wow, the one above seems very knowledgeable about this
12th level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
@Zhongshan wolf isn’t greedy
It’s you? You never told me your screen name in the first forum is this…
I also don’t know specifically when I lost it, but at least ten days ago it was still sitting in my room’s storage box. When I needed to consume it yesterday I found that it had disappeared. The storage box didn’t have any obvious traces around it, and nothing else in my room was moved. However, I was in a rush to leave then, so I might have overlooked some details. I’ll take a closer look tonight when I return.
13th level: Phoenix’s first cry
Looks like it really wasn’t a box of normal desserts. Things seem pretty serious… apologies to OP, I shouldn’t have said you were poor.
14th level: Our sect leader is rich
Yes. He’s not poor.
15th level: Money solves all problems[12]
Can OP specifically describe what effects happen after consumption? It’s already been this long, I’m afraid the person who took the box may have already eaten them…
16th level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
@Phoenix’s first cry, I forgot to tell you about the screen name thing, I didn’t hide it on purpose.
I already have people investigating for me within my sect.
Also, in the future, don’t randomly leave important things lying around.
17th level: Zhongshan wolf isn’t greedy
Wait, what does the above know exactly? And who is OP?
18th level: Indiscriminately accepting disciples far and wide
@Indiscriminately accepting disciples far and wide
Check your DMs.
19th level: Zhongshan wolf isn’t greedy
Huh, looks like the 15th commenter also knows some inside information. How did they know that OP isn’t poor?
20th level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
Before I couldn’t confirm if I could disclose the effects of consuming that box of desserts, so I went to ask the person who gave them to me. He just responded and told me there was no problem, so I will openly share it with everyone.
That box of desserts is actually a box of shapeshifting desserts. It’s not technically food, but can rather be counted as a kind of medicine. After you consume it you will take on an animal form, which is advantageous for performing some tasks.
But there’s a very important detail: after you’ve changed into an animal form, you can’t change back on your own. You must eat a certain white-colored hard candy to do so.
The problem is that the white candies in my room are all still here, with not one piece missing.
I’m afraid that someone will change into an animal and never be able to regain their original form…
21st level: Phoenix’s first cry
F*ck…
22nd level: Our manor lord became wealthy
It’s my fault that I wasn’t smart enough, my IQ has limited my imagination. Apologies to OP.
23rd level: Really very smart
Wow wow wow I’m so excited!!! This seems like a very interesting dessert! @YeMao[13] Goods R&D Department, come quickly and look, can we get this out for sale for Singles’ Day[14]?
24th level: Jack Ma
Understood. Dad, we will immediately get to work researching this.
25th level: YeMao Goods R&D Department
…… So OP is…
Ah, in that case, there’s no way OP would remember to properly organize his own things.
26th level: Indiscriminately accepting all disciples far and wide
I was bored and decided to surf the internet, and I actually came across this kind of thread. Phoenix's first cry really makes others worry.
27th level: Nobody is more handsome than me
Descendants will walk their own paths[15], there is no use in worrying. @Nobody is more handsome than me, don’t bother worrying.
28th level: Duruo[16] blossoms
Since these effects are so serious, we should quickly have the sect leaders pass on the message to those cultivators and laymen within their jurisdiction. @Number One Forum Admin, please spread the word.
29th level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
YeMao Goods can’t come up with this formula, don’t even try.
30th level: Money solves all problems
@Guyueye Jiang Yechen @Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming @Taxue Palace Ming Yuelou @Bihan Manor Li Xuehe @Wubei Temple Xuan Jing Master @Huofeng Pavilion Wei Feiyan @Taobao Villa Ma Yun[17] @Shangqin Pavilion Liu Yesu @Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei
Please take note of this thread and take care of problems as needed.
31st level: First Forum Super Admin
Received.
31st level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
……… I’ve been dealing with this matter for a long time now alright?!! Don’t @ me again, I’m worried for the safety of my disciples! I’m very irritated!!
32nd level: Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming
Sect Leader Xue does not need to be anxious. This old monk will give you a few words of advice: others can worry but I do not, there’s no one to replace me if I worry until I’m sick, in hindsight there’s no point, no one will be pleased if I worry to death[18].
Calm down, everything will be alright.
33rd level: Wubei Temple Xuan Jing Master
Oh? I also have a very similar thing, it’s a bottle of some green viscous substance. Lapping up a mouthful can cause one to choke to death on its fumes. It’s not sweet like a dessert, but it has the same effects, and it was also a gift from Guyueye… Hm… but maybe this one shouldn’t have said all of that?
34th level: Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei
If your brain has problems then don’t be the sect leader.
35th level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
… I also seem to have something similar, but not exactly the same. I got a box of stinky tofu[19] with a rich foot stink, also gifted by Guyueye. At the time the little disciple who delivered it said eating it is up to me, but for the sake of improving one’s magic one always has to endure a little suffering… there were actually other flavors??
36th level: Bihan Manor Li Xuehe
… …
37th level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
Ahh! Sorry Sect Leader Jiang! I didn’t see the 35th post until after I refreshed the page! Ah, I’m so sorry, I don’t know what to say, is it too late to take my words back?
38th level: Bihan Manor Li Xuehe
You think this is a Wechat group[20]?
39th level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
Understood, I will immediately take action.
40th level: Huofeng Pavilion Wei Feiyan
Currently Taxue Palace has not reported any missing persons, but we will increase our monitoring.
41st level: Taxue Palace Ming Yuelou
Got it.
42nd level: Shangqing Pavilion Liu Yesu
Wait, Manor Owner Li and Pavilion Master Hua also received these kinds of shapeshifting desserts? Did every sect leader get a share? Then why didn’t I?
43rd level: Taobao Manor Ma Yun
Hey, not every sect leader got one, Manor Lord Ma shouldn’t overthink ^_^
44th level: Taxue Palace Ming Yuelou
Feels like things just became more troublesome…
45th level: I’m just passerby A
I agree, it feels tense in here… everyone should watch out these days, do not touch unknown foodstuffs. I should tell my parents.
46th level: I’m just passerby B
@Phoenix’s first cry, OP, sorry to bother, but could you tell us what kind of animal one would turn into if they wrongly ate the desserts? That way we can at least avoid accidental injuries. If someone actually unluckily turned into an animal… we can also think about ways to mitigate the damage.
47th level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
The above message was very compassionate.
48th level: Only accepts gifts of melatonin
I’m still horrified by the phrase “this life”[21]. Could the above clarify if you are a human or a ghost! Otherwise I’ll have nightmares tonight!
49th level: I’m afraid of ghosts
Don’t do unconscionable things during the day, and you won’t be afraid of ghosts knocking at the door at night. What is there to be afraid of?
50th level: Only accepts gifts of melatonin
Hello everyone, I’m back. Thank you @Didn’t know Mulan is a girl for reminding me. After ingesting that box of desserts, the animal you turn into is a peacock, the kind that displays its tail feathers.
51st level: Phoenix’s first cry
That’s only for male peacocks[22]. You can display your tail feathers because you’re male. If a woman were to eat it they should turn into a peahen, which doesn’t show off its feathers.
52nd level: Zhongshan wolf isn’t greedy
Wow wow wow! Thankfully it’s this kind of animal! I breathed a sigh of relief! If it’s a peacock it’s not easy to mistake. Thankfully it isn’t a pig or some kind of poultry, which could even get eaten with no fuss.
53rd level: I’m just passerby A
Haha, suddenly I’m a little curious about what it feels like to turn into a peacock.
54th level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
QAQ my shizun[23] disappeared, some time in the past two days… I just saw this thread, I’m currently so scared, I’m losing my mind…
55th level: Husky
F*ck!!!
56th level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
My god, could he have turned into a peacock and flown away?!
57th level: I’m just passerby A
Your shifu[24] couldn’t have eaten that box of desserts, could he…
58th level: Our manor lord became wealthy
I don’t know!!! I’ve searched the entire mountain but haven’t seen any sign of him! There’s no note on the table, the clothes in the drawer are still properly folded, it doesn’t look like he’s gone out on a long journey! Ah!! What should I do!!! And he really likes desserts!! But I feel like he wouldn’t casually swipe others’ food… oh god, my head is going to explode!
59th level: Husky
@Husky first calm down for a moment, things might not be as bad as you think. Does your shizun live close to where OP is? If it’s not close then he couldn’t have gotten his hands on that box of desserts.
60th level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
QAQ that’s right. @Phoenix’s first cry where is your house?
61st level: Husky
@Cultivational World Animal Research Society please observe the recent movements of peacocks. If there are any that exhibit human traits, then it could very well be a human who transformed into a peacock.
62nd level: Only accepts gifts of melatonin
There’s no need to observe the peacocks. As far as I know, this kind of medicine is person-specific. OP can turn into a peacock, but others may not.
63rd level: Money solves all problems
What do you mean…
64th level: Jack Ma
63rd poster, you need to take responsibility for your words. What does “as far as I know” mean? Are you very knowledgeable in this field? Or do you know more inside information on this situation than me?
Also @Husky I live in Shu.
65th level: Phoenix’s first cry
I mean pigs, dogs, cows, sheep, cats, horses, rabbits, monkeys, are all possible options. What you change into after consumption depends on the person.
Also for the commenter above, regarding these desserts, I really do know more than you.
66th level: Money solves all problems
Hmph, you brag well. Do you know who I am?
67th level: Phoenix’s first cry
I smelled some dynamite[25] and would like to remind everyone: fighting is off-limits in this area, and any personal attacks will result in a three day ban.
68th level: First Forum Lifestyle Admin No. 3
Not only do I know who you are, I also know who your biological father is.
69th level: Money solves all problems
Aaaaahhh! Then what should I do!! Can you guys stop with the hide and seek!!! This one’s home is in Shu as well! Although my shizun and I don’t currently live in Shu, we know a lot of people there. If any of them sent such a box as a gift, only for my shizun to eat it, what should I do QAQ! @Money solves all problems, great immortal, do you really have inside information? Then do you know what exactly decides what animal the person turns into QAQ? I need to quickly investigate, saving a life will result in endless merit[26], please kind sir save a life TAT
70th level: Husky
What a filial disciple, I’m very moved.
71st level: Sells tanghulu[27] in hell
Miao miao miao~
72nd level: Veggie Bun[28]
@Money solves all problems … it’s you?
73rd level: Phoenix’s first cry
Yes, it’s me.
74th level: Money solves all problems
F*ck you[29], do you think it’s funny, coming up with a screen name like that?!
75th level: Phoenix’s first cry
Hey, can you guys listen to me!!! Don’t be this cold-blooded! @Money solves all problems, friend, if you have some personal grudge with me, can we resolve it later? I’m really dying of worry here, what should I do about my shizun QAQ
76th level: Husky
Watch your words[30]. No manners.
77th level: Money solves all problems
I was wrong QAQ
This immortal elder, please could you pay a little attention to my message. My shizun is currently facing a crisis, I hope that you can be merciful and give me guidance. I would be very grateful.
Thank you[31]!
78th level: Husky
Pff, this is clearly such a tragic problem, but after seeing the above comment I feel oddly like laughing a little.
79th level: Really very smart
Hahahaha1
80th level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
You guys shouldn’t laugh, this is actually a very serious thing. @Husky, I can understand your frame of mind. Unfortunately, I don’t know anything about medicine and can’t help you, I’m very sincerely sorry.
81st level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
You already have done very well, don’t be so harsh on yourself.
82nd level: Only accepts melatonin as a gift
The above friend, I’ve seen you respond to me multiple times now. You are…?
83rd level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
You don’t need to know who I am. I’m just watching over you.
84th level: Only accepts melatonin as a gift
Hey… are you confessing your real identity?
85th level: Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei
Front row seats to this identity reveal ~~
86th level: I’m just passerby B
Can you not confess right now!! QAQ I’m really dying of worry! Can someone pay attention to me QAQ I feel like if I keep going like this I’m going to go insane, if I go insane who knows what I’ll turn into…
87th level: Husky
@Only accepts gifts of melatonin, sorry, I don’t mean to offend, but I already have someone I like.
Also can we pay attention to @Husky? I feel like his issue is the most important right now.
88th level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
Alright, alright, we’ll listen to the girl.
89th level: I’m just passerby A
IMO[32], I feel like that mister “doesn’t lack money”[33] from the 77th level, his “watch your words, no manners” wasn’t for Husky, but rather for OP, Phoenix’s first cry.
90th level: I’m just passerby B
Ah? I also revisited the comment, and this seems to be correct. Although Husky was very worried, he didn’t say a single bad word.
OP on the other hand responded to mister “doesn’t lack money” with that “f*ck you”...
91st level: Yuliang Village Flower[34]
Hahahaha we’ve figured it out. Husky is very dumb and naive and apologized for nothing.
92nd level: I’m just passerby A
@Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
I know you have someone you like. He likes you too.
I’ve used up my internet time for this month, I’m logging off, see you later.
Good luck.
93rd level: Only accepts gifts of melatonin
… I don’t know why but I feel that the didi[35] from the 93rd level is a little pitiful.
94th level: Yuliang Village Flower
Does he not have money to pay internet fees? How about I Al*pay[36] you a little bit? This little bit of money is nothing, I’m helping the youth of today.
95th level: Jack Ma
It’s not a problem of money, it’s that over here we have a limited amount of censorship bypass[37] time.
96th level: Only accepts gifts of melatonin
??? Bypassing censorship… is Melatonin-gege[38] a foreigner? If you’re a foreigner, @Mei Hanxue[39] Admin User
Mei Hanxue-gege, can you help him think of some methods?
97th level: Yuliang Village Flower
Can you guys stop talking about all this nonsense? QAQ please help me out here… I feel like.. I almost can’t control myself anymore…
98th level: Husky
Please, everyone, give Husky your attention.
If you can help then help him out. Chatting can happen after the problem is resolved.
99th level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
Husky’s problem will have to wait until @Money solves all problems comes along to solve it. Since his screen name is this domineering, he must be very reliable. However, this mister “doesn’t lack money” suddenly stopped replying[40]...
100th level: I’m just passerby A
Because his screen name is a bluff, he probably boasted until he couldn’t anymore and ran away.
101st level: Our sect leader is rich
Mei Hanxue-gongzi[41] is currently busy with private matters, I’m his secretary[42].
If you’d like to become acquainted with Mei-gongzi, please first check that your gender is set to “F”, then reply with[43] “1” in a DM.
If you’d like to resolve the pain of lovesickness, please reply with “2” in a DM.
If you’d like to consult him on relationship problems, please reply with “3” in a DM.
If you’d like to sign up for Mei-gongzi’s Kazakh language class, please reply with “4” in a DM (not accepting male disciples)
If you’re a bad loser looking for a fight, please contact @Mei Hanxue[44] Admin User
102th level: Mei Hanxue Admin User
Leave.
103th level: Mei Hanxue Admin User
… This old man has guessed why young friend Melatonin needs to bypass censorship. He shouldn’t be a foreigner.
@Only accepts gifts of melatonin
Little brother, check your DMs. Recently this old man has been busy doing business and hasn’t had a lot of free time to surf the web, so this month I still have a lot of internet time. I can give the rest to you.
104th level: Selling tanghulu in hell
....!
Thank you, Taoist Li!
As for the matter regarding my father[45]… I’m really sorry about that.
105th: Only accepts gifts of melatonin
No need for thanks ^_^
The past is the past, no need to take things to heart.
Go play, good child, this old man is going offline to do business.
106th level: Selling tanghulu in hell
I randomly came across this thread. I also know a little bit about this kind of medicine, and I’ve even tried to make some before. @Husky, don’t worry, I’ll organize some relevant documents and DM them to you.
107th level: Blind people depend on tech to go online
The friend from the 101st level, I saw your screen name[46], you should also pay attention to your words. Nobody has run away, and no one is boasting.
I just went to go drink some medicine, @Husky.
That box of desserts will use the consumer’s personality, appearance, etc. to holistically determine the outcome. Use your imagination. If your shizun was turned into an animal, what do you think he would turn into? If you understand him enough, then your imagination will match pretty well with what he turns into after taking in this medicine.
108th level: Money solves all problems
Yo, the above commenter really knows the answer? You wouldn’t be making things up to preserve your reputation now, would you?
109th level: Our sect leader is rich
… …
110th level: Money solves all problems
@Our sect leader is rich hello ^_^, we’d like to trouble you to come by the Guyueye punishment platform. The sect leader insists.
111th level: Whatever yifu[47] says is right
Oh oh okay, ty[48].
112th level: Our sect leader is rich
No need for thanks ^_^
113th level: Whatever yifu says is right
… I don’t know why, but I feel that this 112th commenter is going to go and never come back[49].
114th level: Prophet
Haha, it’s probably because Guyueye’s sect leader gives off the impression that he’s very oppressive. But returning to the topic, it’s been this long, why hasn’t Husky responded yet? @Husky, what did your shizun turn into? Tell us, and we can keep an eye out for you.
115th level: Yuliang Village Flower
Just a measly village flower, and you dare to try and trap this venerable one[50]? But on behalf of your good intentions and decent insight, I’ll let you off this time.
As for what this venerable one’s person will turn into, this venerable one will keep an eye out. No need for others to be nosy.
116th level: Husky
Eh?
117th level: I’m just passerby A
What’s going on?
118th level: I’m just passerby B
Why has Husky’s demeanor suddenly changed? Did someone hack his account?
119th level: Jack Ma
This screen name was always this venerable one’s, you bunch of fools!
120th level: Husky
Wait! This familiar way of speaking… this tone[51]… this screen name…
You wouldn’t happen to be the person I’m imagining right…
121st level: Phoenix’s first cry
If I am, so what?
122nd level: Husky
@Husky
Hey! Don’t be this fierce, I also wanted to help you. How rude, there’s no reward for my good intentions.
123rd level: Yuliang Village Flower
I feel like in this thread that OP started, I can recognize a lot of acquaintances’ screen names. Haha, it’s such a small world after all.
124th level: Indiscriminately accepting disciples far and wide
Last commenter, don’t laugh. I know who Husky is, and this matter has become more problematic.
125th level: Phoenix’s first cry
Urgent! Attention all cultivators! Due to reasons, Sisheng Peak will start accepting all kinds of white cats starting today. If these cultivators find any stray white cats, please send them all to us. We’ll reward you 5000 gold for each!
126th level: Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming
Seeing an emergency rider setting out, the sect leader smiles; no one knows it is for a white cat?[52]
127th level: I’m just passerby A
Wow! So cute! I support Xue Meng x White Cat!
128th level: Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei
Interesting. Is Jiangdong Hall asking for annihilation?
129th level: Husky
That someone from Jiangdong Hall, don’t f*cking speak nonsense! You have problems with your head[53]?
130th level: Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming
Why are you suddenly collecting white cats? Our sect already has an orange cat, we can’t take in another one.
131st level: Sisheng Peak Elder Xuan Ji
Elder, please check DMs.
132nd level: Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming
I checked, there’s nothing.
133rd level: Sisheng Peak Elder Xuan Ji
He sent it to your alternate account.
134th level: Sisheng Peak Elder Tan Lang
What’s this about, I just created a ship[54]. Husky, why are you so fierce, like someone’s stealing your husband? Hm! Annoying!
135th level: Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei
Maiden Hua, I can’t help but give you a word of advice. Please stop speaking.
136th level: Xue Yumei[55] cherishes women
Haha, what I’m more curious about is this 500 gold for one cat offer. White cats are such common animals, won’t Sisheng Peak go bankrupt?
137th level: I’m just passerby B
Miao miao miao QAQ
138th level: Veggie Bun
All of you look, even Veggie Bun is crying… How could you all have white cats and ignore our big orange cat’s feelings? Is Veggie Bun no longer Sisheng Peak’s mascot?
139th level: Yuliang Village Flower
We won’t go bankrupt, we have a sponsor.
@Guyueye Jiang Yechen
Hand over the money.
140th level: Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming
……
141st level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
??? What new development is this? Why would Sect Leader Jiang sponsor Sisheng Peak to do this kind of stupid thing? Is there some business opportunity I’m unaware of? Can white cats be used for making medicinal pills?
142nd level: Jack Ma
You cannot use the cat to make pills! Does Taobao Manor want to be exterminated?
143rd level: Husky
… Husky’s demeanor has really changed a lot… it feels like he has dissociative identity disorder[56]... Randomly threatening to wipe out other sects, it’s like he’s very practiced at exterminating sects…
144th level: Our manor owner became wealthy
How much?
145th level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
F*ck! You’re really giving the money!!?
146th level: Really very smart
Is Guyueye that rich and that dumb? Investing in this kind of profitless scheme, what sponsorship, it’s basically a sugar daddy[57] relationship!
147th level: I also want a sugar daddy
Sect Leader Jiang! Over here we have a profitless endeavor. Even though we have no future, if you would like to learn a bit more and provide us with a donation…
148th level: Sunset Red Elders’ Racing[58] Club
Sect Leader Jiang! Here we have a specific property. Even though it has no future, please consider investing in it…
149th level: Rufeng Sect Tomb Scenic Apartments Sales Department
Sect Leader Jiang! We have a project here, it’s very lucrative and we promise it’ll turn a large profit. However, it’s currently illegal, maybe you’d like to consider helping us out[59]…
150th level: Cultivational World’s Premier Cutsleeve Productions
Wow!!! I no longer ship Xue Meng x White Cat!
I ship Xue Meng x Jiang Xi!
151st level: Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei
Why not Jiang Xi x Xue Meng[60]?
152nd level: Yuliang Village Flower
@First Forum Super Admin ban[61] the 148th through 151st commenters above. Make it a lifetime ban.
153rd level: Guyueye Jiang Yecheng
Sect Leader Jiang, according to our rules we cannot casually lifetime ban users, please forgive us.
154th level: First Forum Super Admin
Then delete messages 148 through 151. A hundred thousand gold for each message.
155th level: Guyueye Jiang Yecheng
Sect Leader Jiang, according to our rules we cannot accept bribes. Additionally, the 151st poster is a super VIP sect leader user; according to our rules we cannot ban a sect leader’s account.
156th level: First Forum Super Admin
Admin hello, my yifu is getting older and his ability to express himself is not very good, so what he says is often not clear. What he meant is that if you ban the posters of 148 through 151, then for every comment in this thread until the problem is resolved, we will provide ten thousand gold. For example, if it takes 200 comments to resolve the problem, then Guyueye will pay 200 x 100k = 20 mil gold; if it gets 2000 comments, then 2000 x 100k = 200 mil gold.
But I must say this, @Gueyueye Jiang Yecheng, yifu, this kind of action is very wasteful. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, everyone should get a chance to start anew.
Please reconsider?
157th level: Whatever yifu says is right
En, I do have to reconsider.
@First Forum Super Admin
Ban the 157th commenter as well.
158th level: Guyueye Jiang Yecheng
[System Notification] Due to violation of the rules, users “Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei”, “Sunset Red Elders’ Racing Club”, “Rufeng Sect Tomb Scenic Apartments Sales Department”, “Cultivational World’s Premier Cutsleeve Productions”, “Whatever yifu says is right” have been banned. The aforementioned users have lost posting privileges and have been locked in view-only mode.
159th level: First Forum Super Admin
…………
160th level: I’m just passerby A
…………
161st level: Our manor owner became wealthy
Haha, this is the legendary “swallow your words[62]”.
162nd level: Only accepts gifts of melatonin
Lift the ban on “Whatever Yifu says is right”. He’s still a kid, he just needed to be taught a lesson. No need to actually punish them.
163rd level: Guyueye Jiang Yecheng
Yes, I’ll do so immediately.
164th level: First Forum Super Admin
…. Fathers really treat their sons differently. Other users really got a lifetime ban, even if they were women, but “Whatever Yifu says is right” was only banned for less than a minute.
165th level: Yuliang Village Aunty’s Specialty Souvenir Shop
Thank you yifu. But even if you get angry, I still feel obligated to remind you that if you continue to do things like this, Guyueye’s finances will one day be in the red[63].
166th level: Whatever yifu says is right
… Ban him again.
167th level: Guyueye Jiang Yecheng
Alright, we will immediately ban him.
168th level: First Forum Super Admin
Pft, I feel like the 166th commenter shouldn’t be called “Whatever yifu says is right”, it’s too much of a slap to the face. He should be called “Whatever yifu says is wrong”.
169th level: Our manor owner became wealthy
The super admin shouldn’t be called super admin either, they should be called “the banhammer”.
170th level: Really very smart
Ah! My poverty has exceeded what I imagined! Sect Leader Jiang, sugar daddy!!
163rd level: I also want a sugar daddy
Sugar daddy!!! Are you still lacking sons?
164th level: I also want a sugar daddy 1
Dad Jiang! Please adopt me as your son!!
165th level: I also want a sugar daddy 2
Dad!! Please look at me!! I’m very obedient! Whatever you do is correct! However you spend your money is your own business! I promise I’ll behave completely differently from “Whatever yifu says is right”! Dad!!! I’m your long-lost son!
166th level: I also want a sugar daddy 3
People these days really don’t have any backbone! Shameful!
He has money so he’s your dad? Laughably absurd!
Look at me! I’m completely different from you all!
167th level: Jiang Xi is my dad
Hahaha last commenter is too mischievous! Then let me also make a screen name~
168th level: My dad is Jiang Xi[64]
Do you guys still have any shame?
169th level: Phoenix’s first cry[65]
…. Ah, the OP has appeared. If the OP hadn’t appeared again I would have forgotten what this thread was originally made for.... I almost thought this was the Jiang Xi Fanclub…
170th level: I’m just passerby A
Sorry, I feel like this matter is too absurd. The first forum is used by large sects to communicate, but without any discussion the admin banned a sect leader, and it’s even a lifetime ban. Then in the future, will anyone who provoked Jiang Xi have their account banned? Just now you spoke of rules, but now? Have the rules become useless?
Also your reason for banning was “breaking the rules”. I want to ask what rules they broke. I’ve also been a moderator for this forum before, I’m very clear on the rules. Hopefully you can give a reasonable explanation.
171st level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
Ten minutes ago there was a new rule added, number 131: please respect the biggest investor in the forum. Just FYI.
172nd level: First Forum Super Admin
This is quite interesting. @Guyueye Jiang Yechen do you want to create an echo chamber, just like Nangong Liu did? You saw what happened to the Rufeng Sect, you should be aware of the lessons to be learned from them.
173rd level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
Ah… why do you always have to be the first to stand up for others…
174th level: Only accepts gifts of melatonin
Jiang Xi, please respond.
175th level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
Aiyo, that whatever Mulan has problems right? He has money and he’s the biggest investor, so what if we give him some respect?
176th level: I also want a sugar daddy
The admin also didn’t ban their accounts “without discussion”. The admin “accepted some money” then banned their accounts. My dad just happened to spend a lot of money. Who could he have offended?
177th level: My dad is Jiang Xi
… This thread is becoming more and more confusing.
178th level: Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming
There are many things you don’t understand.
Also, a lot of people have come to drop off cats, Sect Leader please go recieve them. Remember to make a record of it and give them money, don’t get it wrong.
180th level: Sisheng Peak Elder Xuan Ji
I shouldn’t need to say any more. I spend money legally.
181st level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
Formerly the Rufeng Sect bullied others with their strength, currently Guyueye suppresses others with their money.
Sect Leader Jiang, although your personality isn’t bad, if you continue like this, sooner or later you’ll meet troubles you cannot squash.
182nd level: Didn’t know Mulan is a girl
Sect Leader Jiang, should we also ban @Didn’t know Mulan is a girl?
182nd level: First Forum Super Admin
@Didn’t know Mulan is a girl, you have no right to lecture me.
@First Forum Super Admin, no need.
@Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming, I’ve already sent out the money.
183rd level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
F*cker[66]!!! Who the f*ck dyed the orange cat white to cheat some money out of us!!!
184th level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
…… You can’t even recognize the orange cat? Even if it’s dyed, the body shape shouldn’t have changed.
185th level: Sisheng Peak’s female disciple
QAQ is there no trust between people anymore?
I’ve already placed a basin of water at the entrance. Every cat needs to first be washed before it can enter!!
186th level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
En… I just saw this thread, and reading through it, I have to ask… haven’t you guys realized a problem….
187th level: Cultivational Realm’s Holmes[67]
Eh? What problem?
188th level: Yuliang Village Flower
Haha! I have also discovered something, but I’ve never said it! That Holmes, you’re thinking of how Jiang Xi only banned the 148th through 151st levels, but let the 152nd level go, right? Rich aunty Jiang probably felt that calling him the top[68] was praise~
189th level: This side account isn’t afraid of offending rich aunty Jiang
……. Jiang, rich aunty Jiang?
Wahahahaha!!
190th level: Even laughing requires a side account
[System Notification] User “This side account isn’t afraid of offending rich aunty Jiang”, user “Even laughing requires a side account” have been logged out of their accounts. The term “rich aunty Jiang” has been deemed one of this forum’s first-level[69] offensive words; every account that has used this term will not be allowed to log in again, and every comment with this term will be screened.
To put an end to cyberbullying using side accounts, this forum will now require the use of real names when logging in.
191st level: First Forum Super Admin
… Do you really need to kiss ass to this level? Jiang Xi himself didn’t say anything…
192nd level: I’m just passerby B
No, although I also noticed the 152nd commenter not being banned, that is not the problem I want to point out.
It’s why Sisheng Peak all of a sudden began collecting white cats. You guys probably didn’t think this through in detail and just took it as a joking message, otherwise it would be very easy to realize.
Let me organize my thoughts, and then I’ll send it.
193rd level: Cultivational realm’s Holmes
Lalala~ Sitting 818[70]~
194th level: Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei
……. Admin, didn’t the user from the 194th message get banned? Am I blind or did you want your forum deleted?
195th level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
!!! It’s my mistake! I clearly banned her just now! Maybe I’m not very well versed in doing this yet, I will do it again! I’m sorry I’m sorry!
196th level: First Forum Super Admin
Hehe~ can’t believe it huh, I’m back again~
187th level: Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei
Hurry up and ban already, this is unsightly.
198th level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
Ay, no matter how many years pass, men who don’t know how to cherish women still haven’t learned how to. To speak with these young women, you don’t need to talk logically or for long. As long as there are feelings between the two of you and you take the right steps, she will always understand your meaning. No need to be that incensed.
199th level: Xue Yumei cherishes women
Sect Leader Jiang, there seems to be an error… the users who were banned just now, aside from the one who asked you to film an AV[71], were all unbanned, and there’s no way to re-ban them…
Really very sorry, I will immediately contact our tech department for emergency assistance.
200th level: First Forum Super Admin
No need, I know who did it.
@Whatever yifu says is right
Did you do this?
201st level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
En, it was me.
202nd level: Whatever yifu says is right
Today is different from past days. Your wings have hardened, I’m no longer one of those you look up to[72].
Good, you have grit.
203rd level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
Before this thread gets deleted, let’s line up to eat melons[73]
204th level: I’m just passerby A
Tyty[74] @Whatever yifu says is right
Little gege~~ This good deed of saving my account will not be forgotten~ mua[75]~
205th level: Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei
I don’t look down on you. You’re very good; you’re the warmest, kindest, and sweetest person within the entirety of the cultivational world. But you’ve done something wrong, and I can’t stand by and watch you continue to make mistakes.
Actually I know that within his heart, yifu clearly knows what is right and what is wrong. Otherwise you wouldn’t have let “Didn’t know Mulan is a girl” off without a punishment.
206th level: Whatever yifu says is right
OMG[76], what did I see??? The last commenter actually said that Jiang Xi is the warmest, kindest, and sweetest person within the entirety of the cultivational world? Am I blind or did the thread get altered or did that “Whatever yifu says is right” go crazy?
207th level: I’m just passerby B
……. @Hanlin[77] Shengshou[78] Emergency Eye Clinic, there’s a patient here who needs treatment.
208th level: Really very smart
Ha, funny, the 206th level is really seeing the world through an eighty-thousand-meter-thick filter[79]. The warmest, kindest, and sweetest person within the entirety of the Cultivational World is clearly this venerable one!
209th level: Husky
Husky’s comment exudes a heavy whiff of chuunibyou[80] disease.
210st level: I’m just passerby A
I feel that “Jiang Xi”.... and “sweet”... are two mutually exclusive terms.
211st level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
Adding on to the last comment, I feel that “Jiang Xi” is not only incompatible with “sweet”, but he and “compassionate”, “warm”, “holy”, “upright”, “soft”, “passionate”, “love”, “intimate”, “sorrowful”, “merciful”, “affectionate” etc. similar words are also incompatible. Jiang Xi and these beautiful words are like two antivirus softwares, they’ll fight each other until the computer crashes.
212th level: Our manor owner became wealthy
You guys don’t understand him. Please don’t speak of him like this.
213th level: Whatever yifu says is right
This kind of sickness doesn’t need a diagnosis from an eye doctor, it needs a diagnosis from a mental health specialist.
I feel like his sickness is already too advanced. I recommend giving up on treatment.
214th level: Zhongshan Wolf isn’t greedy
Hanlin Emergency Eye Clinic at your service.
Glaucoma, please press 1
Cataracts, please press 2
Myopia, please press 3
Presbyopia[81], please press 4
For blindness, please directly call the Hanlin Shengshou Global Hotline 3838748[82]
If a filter[83] cannot be removed please redirect yourself to a mental health specialist
215th level: Hanlin Emergency Eye Clinic
Haha, I said to go see a mental health specialist instead.
216th level: Zhongshan wolf isn’t greedy
@Whatever yifu says is right, little gege, are you being forced by Jiang Xi to say these kinds of words? You’re really pitiful… Because you helped by unbanning me, this sect leader is willing to accept you into Jiangdong Hall, where you can become my ward. If after meeting you I feel like you look pretty enough, there’s a chance of you becoming the sect leader’s husband in the future~ giving you a chance here~
217th level: Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei
Friending[84] her is the first step to a grand wedding.
218th level: I’m just passerby A
Thank you for your concern. No one is forcing me, and I also don’t want to go to Jiangdong Hall. I unbanned you only because you’re a sect leader. Please stop @-ing me miss, we are not familiar.
219th level: Whatever yifu says is right
Comrades[85], I am here!!!
I just got home, it wasn’t convenient for me to type with my phone before~
If I could draw everyone’s attention back to the 125th and 126th messages ---
> Last commenter, don’t laugh. I know who Husky is, and this matter has become more
> problematic.
> 125th level: Phoenix’s first cry
> Urgent! Attention all cultivators! Due to reasons, Sisheng Peak will start accepting all kinds of
> white cats starting today. If these cultivators find any stray white cats, please send them all to
> us. We’ll reward you 5000 gold for each!
> 126th level: Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming
These two messages were sent with a time difference of less than one minute.To summarize the earlier events, OP “Phoenix’s first cry” found that his desserts had flown away. Consuming this kind of snack would cause the consumer to change into an animal. Then Husky came to report that his own shizun had gone missing. At first Phoenix’s first cry’s response was neutral, and the other sect leaders responded neutrally, but in this message, Phoenix’s first cry suddenly said “things have become more problematic”.
Everyone can arrive at the conclusion that he said things became more problematic because he guessed “Husky”’s identity, which means that after he knew Husky’s identity, he obviously realized who Husky’s shizun is --- this shows that Husky’s shizun and “Phoenix’s first cry” are on good terms with each other. Phoenix’s first cry could very well be worrying about the wellbeing of Husky’s shizun.
Let’s next observe, after “Phoenix’s first cry” started worrying, less than a minute later “Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming” came online and, out of the blue, started offering a hefty reward for all kinds of white cats. Friends, this is too coincidental! There is no way this is pure chance!
With all of this evidence, this one boldly guesses that “Phoenix’s first cry” is “Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming”’s side account, and Xue Ziming has never cared that much about other people; I can only think of one person who would cause him to be this nervous, and who could also potentially transform into a cat.
I don’t know if the person that everyone is thinking of is the same as the one I’m thinking of.
220th level: Cultivational realm’s Holmes[86]
Wow…… this is very well thought out…. I was just watching the fun[87] hahaha, I never considered analyzing it….
221st level: I’m just passerby A
When you say it like that it really must be!
I immediately thought of Beidou Shizun Chu Wanning!
222nd level: I’m just passerby B
Chu Wanning +1
223rd level: Jiang Xi is my dad
I also feel that aside from Chu Wanning there’s no one else, I don’t need any more guesses[88].
224th level: Really very smart
But… but Chu-zongshi[89] doesn’t look like someone who would steal others things to eat?
225th level: Yuliang Village Flower
He may not have stolen it. Maybe others wrongly gifted it, or some other reason.
226th level: Really very smart
Damn! Then according to Holmes’ deduction, “Phoenix’s first cry” is Xue Ziming, the missing person is Chu Wanning, then Husky should be… Ta, Ta[90]….
227th level: Our manor owner became wealthy
……. I’m too afraid, I’m logging off.
228th level: Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei
I, I remembered that I haven’t paid this month’s internet fees, I’m also logging off.
229th level: Jiang Xi is my dad
My laptop is almost out of battery, bye everyone.
230th level: My dad is Jiang Xi
Now you all know to be afraid of this venerable one? A bunch of foolish peasants.
@Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming
How’s the search for the cat?
231st level: Husky
TAT Your Majesty we were wrong, please don’t get mad your Majesty, don’t butcher the forum participants……
232nd level: I’m just passerby A
Wa! Were they right?
But if Phoenix’s first cry is indeed Xue Meng, then if we keep digging and analyze their interactions, we can easily dig out others’ screen names as well.
233th level: I’m just passerby B
This forum does not allow purposeful identity exposure[91], users please take note.
234th level: First Forum Super Admin
@Husky
No progress at all, those cats were just normal cats. Veggie Bun, on the other hand, was behaving abnormally. Maybe we brought in too many other cats and it felt neglected, so it’s been pretty irritating. It’s constantly circling around me and meowing, and no matter what it wouldn’t leave. An hour ago, I already had someone take it away to go pamper it, and I’ve also asked for an animal specialist from Huofeng Pavilion to decipher Veggie Bun’s animal language. We’re currently waiting for them to arrive.
235th level: Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming
Sorry, but Veggie Bun is …… ?
236th level: Our sect leader became wealthy
Sisheng Peak’s Lady Wang raised an orange cat. Because it ate too much and got too fat, it was thought to be pregnant all year round.
237th level: Really very smart
I wonder if it still likes to eat the little silver fishes from the creek in the back mountains. I’m feeling a little nostalgic.
238th level: Duruo Blossoms
Haha, the orange cat has his own pleasures, don’t overthink it.
Speaking of which, on our end that fourth-ranked brother of ours is currently holding a banquet, and there’s a lot of good food. We should log off and go eat~
239th level: No one is more handsome than me
En, I will listen to you.
240th level: Duruo Blossoms
Everyone, no need to send more cats!
@Guyueye Jiang Yechen
You also don’t need to send me more money. I’ll return what I haven’t used yet to you, I wouldn’t want to take advantage of you.
241st level: Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming
What new developments are these!!! They’ll stop just because you tell them to? Then what about his life and death? You don’t care about that anymore?
242nd level: Husky
Yifu says he doesn’t want to pay attention anymore, he’s already gone offline. However, I will pass on the message, Sect Leader Xue can rest assured.
243rd level: Whatever yifu says is right
Xue Ziming, get the hell out here! Explain things properly! Why don’t you need to collect white cats anymore?!
244th level: Husky
…… I just went to the depths of the Zhongnan[92] area to collect some ores, what are you all fussing about?
@Husky
I have half a shichen[93] until I’m home.
245th level: I have hundreds of the same white robe[94]
!!!
You’re on your way back!!?!
246th level: Husky
Front row spectator to Elder Yuheng’s side account reveal~
247th level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
…… Maybe he didn’t read Holmes’ comment in detail. He probably thinks he hasn’t been exposed. Last commenter, why did you have to point that out?
248th level: I want to watch the drama
Just now I didn’t speak clearly, I was busy solving a case with the people from the Huofeng Pavilion.
Hello everyone, the problem has been solved. No humans wrongly ate my desserts, they ended up in Veggie Bun’s stomach…… Our Veggie Bun was merely curious when it came across the desserts during its nighttime wanderings, so it secretly ate them. If animals eat the dessert, their intelligence will wildly increase. This entire time, Veggie Bun was trying to tell me that it ate the desserts, and that it had become quite intelligent by doing so. Just now the people from the Huofeng Pavilion deciphered its meows, that’s how I finally understood what it was always trying to tell me.
In all, I had a bad scare, but thank you to everyone for helping.
Also, my identity being exposed is not a concern of mine, because I’ve never used my side account to do anything I shouldn’t have done, but maybe after careful investigation everyone will start to guess the identities of those who are irrelevant to the issue. To prevent blackmail and other such unscrupulous acts, I’ve already notified the admins to delete this thread in three minutes.
Again, thank you all for your cooperation.
249th level: Sisheng Peak Xue Ziming
Quick, while the three minutes are counting down, add a few more comments to make Jiang Xi pay more money. I love being mischievous~
250th level: I’m just passerby A
Hahaha everyone together now~
251st level: I’m just passerby B
You guys need to learn some maturity. Even if you can get three thousand messages out within three minutes, that amount of money is still nothing more than a drop of water into a bucket for Sect Leader Jiang. I think you’d be better off saving this webpage, so that you can take it back and slowly study it for fun.
252nd level: Really very smart
Uh…… it’s not that I want to attack the last comment, but this thread’s content can’t be copied. The admin seems to have been prepared for such a case a long time ago.
253rd level: Yuliang Village Flower
Wuwuwu[95] I don’t care!! Before the threat gets deleted I want to confess to Elder Yuheng!!!
254th level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
Me too!!! I also want to confess to Elder Yuheng!!!
255th level: Sisheng Peak’s female disciple
And me too!!!
256th level: Our sect leader became wealthy
Last commenter, are you betraying Taobao Manor?
> Add me too!
Also @ I have hundreds of the same white robe
Are the new blueprints done? Can you authorize me to commercialize them? How about we get rich together?
257th level: Jack Ma
…… What exactly happened.
258th level: I have hundreds of the same white robe
Nothing much, Xue Meng’s intelligence went offline[96] again, that’s all.
Are you home yet?
259th level: Husky
Hehe, the 258th level hasn’t noticed me.
260th level: Jack Ma
@Husky
Open the door.
260th level[97]: I have hundreds of the same white robe
Who is willing to join me in making money…… I want to make another fortune so that I can build a Taobao Manor Sect Al*baba[98] spinoff, if only an investor who believed in my vision would come along QAQ
261st level: Jack Ma
Nobody believes you. Al*baba sounds like something that wouldn’t make money.
262nd level: Really very smart
Agreed, I would rather invest in my dad’s Jiangnan[99] pharmaceutical business.
@Guyueye Jiang Yechen
I’m on the verge of danger[100], dad, please spare me a glance?
263rd level: My dad is Jiang Xi
Get lost[101].
264th level: Guyueye Jiang Yechen
……. That’s weird, I thought Sect Leader Jiang already went offline to rest? Then the one who responded just now…
265th level: Yuliang Village Flower
This thread has entered the countdown to deletion, please refrain from commenting further. If you need to contact someone, please use DMs. Thank you for your vigorous participation in this, cultivators.
266th level: First Forum Super Admin
Please wait, I’d like to @Yuliang Village Flower
This young lady, you’re very pretty, can I have the honor of adding you as a friend[102]?
267th level: Xue Yumei loves and cares for women
The last commenter has broken the rules, you will receive a one-day temporary ban as a warning.
I said to not reply in this thread. Three seconds to thread deletion.
3, 2, ….
268th level: First Forum Super Admin
Ah ah ah ah!! Wait a second!!! I still want to see Elder Yuheng!!!
269th level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
You have no chance to. Give up.
It’s not this account creator that’s making this comment now[103]. Guess who this venerable one is.
270th level: I have hundreds of the same white robes
…… do we even need to guess……
271st level: Sisheng Peak’s little disciple
@First Forum Super Admin
Go ahead and ban me, I’ve long been prepared for this with my affection side account.
@Yuliang Village Flower
Young lady, it’s still me, I really hope you can become my good friend. If you’d like, you can come find me at any time, although please add the account from the 267th message, because this account is one I don’t usually use. Waiting for you ^_^
272th level: This one doesn’t want to help his brothers shoulder their crimes
One.
273rd level: First Forum Super Admin
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Forum post “Who touched Xue Mengmeng’s desserts”
END
[1] 气死我了 - lit. angers me to death, basically OP is very angry.
[2] 凤凰 - phoenix, 初 - first, 啼 - “caw” or “mourn” (Xue Meng TT/\TT)
[3] 1楼 means “1st floor”, basically “1st response”, “2nd response”, and so on (thus this translator chose to use “levels”, but is going to avoid using that term at all if possible). The commenter’s username is below the message.
[4] This refers to the legend of the Zhongshan wolf (中山狼), which is about a wolf who repays the person who saved him by eating his friend - so the term refers to someone who repays good acts with evil. The username basically boils down to “the Zhongshan wolf wasn’t greedy for choosing to eat the man”.
[5] The original is “lz”, which stands for 楼主, literally “tower owner” or, as this translator chose, “OP”.
[6] 中原地区 (Central Plains), the area of China around the lower Yellow River area, considered to be the “Center of the World” in early dynastic times (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhongyuan).
[7] Referring to the viewers of this thread.
[8] The original reads “不知木兰是女郎”, which comes from the “木兰辞” (The Ballad of Mulan). The whole line is “同行十二年,不知木兰是女郎”, or “we traveled together for twelve years, but we didn’t know Mulan is a girl”. You can find the translation of the entire poem here: https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Translation:Ballad_of_Mulan.
[9] Basically this person hasn’t slept (well) in a long, long time (relatable mood, this tl also has insomnia).
[10] The original phrase is “一生”, implying that the 8th level poster has moved on to the next life.
[11] His screen name is 接客马. 接客 (jie ke) refers to the act of prostitutes welcoming in/receiving their clients, and 马 (ma) is “horse”. If you read the characters out it’s “jie ke ma”, or “Jack Ma” - Executive Director of Alibaba Group (which owns Taobao, the shopping website). Damn, Meatbun.
[12] Literal translation should be “there is nothing that cannot be solved with silver”.
[13] Probably a sly jab at 天猫 (lit. sky cat), or Tmall, which is a shopping website operated by the Alibaba Group.
[14] November 11th, or 11/11. The 1 looks like a 光棍儿 - lit. bare stick, basically someone who is single. 11/11 is Singles’ Day. (This translator has been roasted on that day for many years, thank you tler’s family for your roasts.)
[15] Comes from a poem, the line is “儿孙自有儿孙福,莫为儿孙做马牛”, or “descendants/grandchildren have their own fates, elders shouldn’t slave away for them” - as an elder, don’t worry about them or help them along overly much.
[16] A kind of flower native to eastern Asia that is often used in poems as an illusion to men of good character.
[17] This is a sly reference to the online shopping website Taobao (淘宝), which belongs to Alibaba Groups, whose executive chairman (and former CEO) is named Ma Yun (马云). This mountain is Mt. Taobao (桃苞), and the villa owner is Ma Yun (马芸).
[18] The original lines are “别人着急我不急,急出病来无人替,回头想想又何必,我若急死谁如意”, and much has been lost in this translation because Meatbun is such a tongue in cheek author that it’s difficult to preserve the rhythm, the meaning, and the emotions all at once. This tl has a slightly longer explanation here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1IhDLax4f86PC8OH3XtHKI0wijdkJmzD16l0Kse9lt2k/edit?usp=sharing
[19] If you couldn’t tell from the novel, Meatbun really likes food. Stinky tofu is a fermented tofu that smells strongly and is usually served deep-fried with chili sauce (at least, in this tl’s experience).
[20] One functionality in Wechat groups is the ability to remove a message within two minutes of sending it.
[21] From all the way back in the 8th comment.
[22] For readers who aren’t familiar with peacocks: the really brightly colored ones you usually see in pictures are male peacocks. Female peacocks (technical term is “peahens”) are more drab in coloration, have no plumage to speak of, and tend to be smaller.
[23] Self-explanatory, shizun (师尊) means respected teacher or master.
[24] Same as shizun, but a little less respect.
[25] As in, a fight is brewing.
[26] The original saying is “救人一命胜造七级浮屠”, basically “if you save someone’s life you will earn rewards equivalent to that of a seven level Buddha pagoda”, a high honor indeed.
[27] 糖葫芦, one of this translator’s favorite snacks, hawthorn on a stick that has a hard coating of sugar syrup. They’re most commonly seen around the New Year’s, but can be found at other times of year as well.
[28] Fun fact: Meatbun’s cat is named Veggie Bun as well. However, this Veggie Bun lives at Sisheng Peak (as revealed later).
[29] The original phrase here is “MLGB”, which … this tl-er explains in more detail here, if anyone is burning with curiosity. Similar energy to “f*ck you”.
[30] Basically he’s saying “don’t call me friend”.
[31] Something to note: husky here is using the polite “you” (您, instead of 你) to address this senior.
[32] The original here is “插一句话”, or “let me add a sentence here”, so IMO (in my opinion) is what this translator went with.
[33] Referring to user “Money solves all problems”.
[34] Yuliang Village should be the one from the farm arc in Book 2, and 村花 (lit. village flower) refers to the prettiest girl from the village.
[35] Didi, or 弟弟, means “little brother” - in this case, not by blood.
[36] Possibly intentional typo on Meatbun’s part? It’s supposed to be 支付宝 (Alipay), but the text says 吱付宝, with the added 口 on the first word. 吱 (zhi) is the sound of squeaking, usually with mice and rats.
[37] The term is 翻墙, or “hop over the wall”, where the wall is the Great Wall of Chinese Internet Censorship. You’ve probably heard of this; it’s the reason why Google doesn’t work in China and Facebook is a pipe dream, and why there are certain Chinese sites that international fans can’t access.
[38] Similar to didi, but in this case 哥哥 (gege) means “older brother”, again not by blood.
[39] This is the flirtatious Mei Hanxue (梅含雪). His brother, the cold one, is 梅寒雪, which this translator will call Mei Hanxue (italicized) to differentiate.
[40] The original is “不冒泡了”, which means “stopped producing bubbles” (from underwater). Basically, he’s stopped responding.
[41] 公子, or what YT subs like to call “childe” (which, just… no.). Means “young lord”, refers specifically to well-known young men of powerful and wealthy families/sects.
[42] Original phrase was 客服小二, “customer service representative”, but that’s clunky. It’s a bot.
[43] This is a little confusing to explain, but it’s similar to the bots that you get when you call larger companies and so on where you press a key and it’ll direct you to the right department, etc. Technically it should be “please respond with x”, because this isn’t a phone call but rather a bot, but that’s the general idea.
[44] As mentioned above, this translator will differentiate between the two Mei Hanxues with italics. Non-italicized means it’s the flirtatious brother, italicized is the cold brother.
[45] The specific address used here is 家父, which refers to their blood-related father.
[46] The poster’s screen name was “Our sect leader is rich”.
[47] The term here is 义父, which is used by men to refer to older men of their father’s generation who they view as a father figure; a foster father or godfather, if you will.
[48] 三克油 (san ke you), which means “three grams of oil” but in chatspeak is Chinese slang for the English “thank you”.
[49] Press f to pay respects to bro “Our sect leader is rich”.
[50] If this wasn’t clear, rip our bro Mo Ran 2.0, may Taxian-jun live forever.
[51] The literal translation would have been “this kind of muzzle…”, muzzle like those used to leash fierce dogs.
[52] Original phrase is “一骑红尘妃子笑,无人知是荔枝来”, which is a line by 杜枚 (Du Mei, Chinese poet) about Yang-guifei wanting lychees and the emperor sending out her fastest rider to bring them to her. The Meatbun uses “一骑红尘掌门笑,无人知是白猫来?”, so Xue Meng is Yang-guifei and the lychees are replaced by a white cat (rip Shizun).
[53] The original phrase is “有病没病啊你!”, which would roughly mean “are you sick (in the head)?”, but this translator doesn’t want to make light of actual mental illnesses.
[54] 磕cp basically means “loved a romantic ship a lot”. Chinese is wild.
[55] 雪域梅 means “plums from the snowy region”.
[56] In Chinese, 精分 is short for 精神分裂, or “the mind being split into multiple”. Google and Baidu say it’s schizophrenia, but this is a common misconception. Technically, it’s actually dissociative identity disorder. See https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5216848/ for more on this (and how they can overlap).
[57] Technically the phrase is 金主爸爸, or “gold-owner daddy”.
[58] 车 (che) in Chinese is slang for smut.
[59] By filming an AV. (tl note: i don’t know who’d want to watch that though)
[60] If the difference is not clear to you, basically the order of the names indicates who’s on top.
[61] The actual term here is “封”, which literally means seal. Basically block those specific messages from being viewed.
[62] The original phrase is “不服憋着”, or “if you don’t like it, you can’t say anything anyways”.
[63] That is, Guyueye will one day run a deficit.
[64] These are two different users.
[65] And here comes Sect Leader Jiang’s real kid, lmao.
[66] This curse here is actually “夭寿”, which is from the Minnan dialect. Basically it translates to “short-lived”.
[67] Meaning Sherlock Holmes.
[68] Top here is in reference to ships, aka seme. Original word is 攻.
[69] Where “first level” is the highest level of offense possible.
[70] 818 is Chinese internet slang, which basically means “gossiping”. The term originates from 818 in the Sichuan dialect sounding a lot like “摆一摆” (bai yi bai), or “bored and wants to gossip” (摆 in this context means gossip).
[71] P*rn, a la user “Cultivational World’s Premier Cutsleeve Productions”.
[72] Basically saying “the chick has grown up and is leaving the nest”. The literal last phrase is “不放在眼里”, or “didn’t keep sb. within one’s sight”, or “held someone in contempt”.
[73] Eating melons - that is, watching the drama in front of them unfold. Usually one would eat watermelons while watching some soap opera on the TV on a warm summer evening. This translator has done so many times, and would highly recommend this pastime.
[74] The actual phrase here is “蟹蟹”, which is internet slang for “谢谢” (thank you).
[75] A kiss noise.
[76] This translator swears that was what the original said.
[77] Note here that the characters 寒鳞 also can mean “Cold Scale”. Guess who’s back~
[78] Shengshou, or 圣手, refers to a highly qualified master of medicinal arts, usually someone who’s brought a patient back “from the brink of death” or similar miracles. The literal translation is “godly hand”.
[79] I.e. very, very blind (to Jiang Xi’s bad traits). The English equivalent would probably be “rose-colored glasses”, but this translator kept it as “filter”.
[80] Chuunibyou (lit. “middle school 2nd grade disease”) is usually used to describe someone who has delusions of grandeur, so much so that they believe they have some sort of hidden powers. (Everyone had a bit of that in their life right?)
[81] Refers to that specific kind of farsightedness that comes with age; usually occurs in older people.
[82] 38 = 三八, “san ba”, which in Taiwan and Minnan means someone (usually female, but not necessarily) who is uncultured and rude; 748 = 七四八, “qi si ba” sounds like 去死吧 “qu si ba”, or “go die” - so basically 3838748 = “uneducated f*ckers go die”.
[83] Remember that 80,000 meter thick filter that “Whatever yifu says is right” apparently views his yifu through? That filter.
[84] Adding “Jiangdong Hall Hua Ruowei” as a friend (or, as we say now, sliding into her DMs).
[85] Another joke that’s lost in translation. The og text says “筒子们” (tong zi men), which means “packages” or “cylinders”, but the actual meaning is “comrades”, it’s just spoken funny (which is a thing in Chinese internet speak, usually played for comedy).
[86] TL note: is this really Sherlock Holmes? He hasn’t said “it’s elementary, my dear Watson” at all, or “once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth”.
[87] The phrase they use here is “划水” (hua shui, or “splashing around”), which has the same meaning as “打酱油” (da jiang you, or “getting soy sauce”). Both basically mean “just passing by and watching the drama without getting involved”. (tl, looking back at the whole jiang xi mess: mhm sure)
[88] Original: “这是一道送分题”, or “this is a points-giving question (a freebie)”.
[89] 宗师 = grandmaster, highly respected teacher/cultivation individual
[90] He’s trying to say “Taxian-jun” here.
[91] By identity here, their identities in real life (although most of them are pretty obvious by now…).
[92] The mountain is literally 终南, or “the end of the south”...
[93] One shichen (时辰) is two hours.
[94] Technically, not the same robe, but a lot of robes in the exact same cut and style. Did shizun mass-buy a bunch of comfy bathrobes?
[95] Supposed to be a crying noise.
[96] As in disconnected from the internet. RIP Xue Meng.
[97] Can’t tell if this was supposed to be an intentional typo, or if Jack Ma is just this unnoticeable. (alibaba group please don’t flame me for this)
[98] Once again, Meatbun here pulling some typos on us: 阿里巴巴 is how Alibaba is written in Chinese, and she chooses to go with 阿狸耙耙, which sounds the same but has different characters. 狸 stands for raccoon, and a 耙 is a rake (like those for raking up dead leaves in the front yards of those classic American movies).
[99] Another geographic region in China. The Jiangnan (江南) area refers to the area just south of the Yangtze River, around Shanghai. It’s one of the most prosperous regions in China.
[100] Again, a phrase that is funnier in Chinese. It’s an older meme, similar energy as the “uh oh I’m in danger” one in this case specifically. This tl-er has a more in-depth explanation here.
[101] The word he uses here is 滚 (gun), which many MDZS fans are familiar with; has a stronger connotation than just “go away” but it’s not as strong as “f*ck off”.
[102] Sliding into her DMs.
[103] Confusing wording but the general idea is “it’s not cwn who’s responding with this account, guess who I am?”