Autumn in Hieron: Holiday Special 02: I’ve Killed Monsters
Transcriber: Dylan (disasterpaladin#7113)
Day of High Sun investigation documents | Map
AUSTIN (reading): What should have been a day of celebration, the Day of High Sun, the Long Day, Eve's Light, was marred by a heinous murder. [MUSIC STARTS] Gregalos, the scholar who sent Lem, Hella, and Fero in search of a mysterious book, was found hung from a strange fish hook, in the fields of Velas. Elsewhere in the city, a prisonbreak left three guards dead, and a prince missing. And to top it off, another mystical book, the one you all recovered from the ancient tower on the Isle of Eventide was stolen from the care and protection of The Great Fantasmo.
In the hours that followed, you were deputized by Victoria Solomon and Dr. Gloria Lake, members of the Golden Lance: a group of vigilante heroes, who are as well loved by the masses for their ability to solve crimes as they are feared by establishments everywhere for bringing justice down, even on the wealthy and well connected. Your investigation lead you to the bottom and middle rungs of Velas. You visited strange shops, chased suspects down twisted alleyways, and dealt with incompetent prison guards. But one of your prime suspects, Jericho Alum, is a stranger to you all.
Some of you have had to consider the possibility that there are other people, people close to you figuratively and literally, that may be implicated in these crimes. Prelate Lucius, head of the Velisan chapter of the church of Samothes, gave Alum counsel. But to what end? Mitta, a snow elf who fled from Auniq, confessed to breaking the Ordennan prisoner out of jail. But under whose order? How do the new Archivists, from whom Jack- Lem, has been fleeing for months now, figure into the story of the missing book?
[MUSIC ENDS]
And what of Gregalos himself? When Hadrian questioned his spirit in a holy ritual, he spoke of a strange purpose interrupted, and investigating his quarters at the Laughing Buck pub revealed him to be a key member in an enigmatic group called the Pupils of Fantasmo. Might they be involved? And certainly the famously corrupt nobles of Velas, who have so far gone unquestioned, could also be involved.
And, at the height of your investigation, in the middle of a day devoted to the light of the sun, the sky was covered by clouds, and then filled with white. A blizzard hit Velas, the first snow to fall there since before the Erasure. The festivities have ground to a halt. Some are trying to find their way back home, others are simply trying to get indoors. Even if that means beating someone else's door down. Samothes bless us, everyone. [PAUSE] What are you doing?
JACK: Before we start like, ah… cause, how many turns do we have left, Austin?
AUSTIN: You have four turns left. So it will- this next turn will be five o'clock. PM. P.
KEITH: That's not a lot of turns!
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: It's not- but it is a lot, because you've covered a lot of ground. Is what I'll say.
DRE: No. It is not many turns.
KEITH: That's true, that's true, we have some pretty solid- now, what you said, you told us that now turns take two hours.
ALI (over Keith): Also we could like...split up, like a lot.
AUSTIN: Right.
(overlapping)
KEITH: Is that because we're trudging through the snow?
AUSTIN: So, so- it's. Yes, it's because you're trudging through the snow.
KEITH: Does that mean that I, a bird man... [Ali and Jack laugh]
AUSTIN: No, because it is a blizzard. (KEITH: Yeah...) And in fact,
KEITH: What if I was a snow...hawk…
AUSTIN: No.
JACK: That's not a bird! [Dre laughs]
KEITH: A mountainous, one of the mountainous snow hawks.
AUSTIN: Nah.
ART: What if you're like, a Dr. Seuss animal?
KEITH: Yeah! What if I was a star-bellied sneetch?
JACK: [laughs] He didn't pick the- he didn't pick the illusionary category as his, uh- as his specialization. He could have done, but he didn't.
DRE (over Jack): All the places you can go, Keith. [Keith and Austin laugh]
AUSTIN: Yeah.
JACK: Um...[PAUSE] Just so we can recap, who was visiting Grey Rasmussen in the Rats...place?
KEITH: Uh, that was Ali and I.
AUSTIN: Yeah, Fero and-and Hella.
JACK (over Austin): What did he say he did? Did he say he killed Gregalos?
[Austin laughs softly]
KEITH: He said that he poisoned Gregalos (AUSTIN: Right.)
JACK: He poisoned him. Okay.
KEITH: And then...and then purposefully didn't kill Fantasmo?
AUSTIN: Yeah. He was bragging like, 'and I coulda killed this other guy, but...' [Ali laughs]
JACK (over Austin): Mm. But he could have done.
KEITH: Yeah, but that wasn't the job, man!
(overlapping)
DRE: Maybe you guys should have killed him…
JACK: And instead, I just moved the invisibility cloak.
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: Well he was, well he was in his place with his crew.
KEITH: I tried to start a thing!
AUSTIN: He was in his place with his crew, like don't get it twisted.
KEITH: I tried to start a thing, for real, and then it didn't happen.
AUSTIN: Right.
ALI: We could maybe arrest him now... (laughing) should we...think about that?
KEITH: But he's not who we want. We don't want that guy.
ART: Yeah, we want the person who gave the order.
ALI (over Art): But still.
KEITH: Right.
ART: Like this guy's a good guy to have in our pocket, like if the day ends and it's like 'who did it?' (KEITH: Morbash.)...this guy.
[Ali and Jack laugh]
KEITH: Morba- As far as I can remember, it was Morbash and Morbash's guys.
ALI: Yeah.
KEITH: Or the- well. It was those orc boys.
ART: Well we should talk to the orc boys… (JACK: We should definitely talk to the orc boys.) We should talk to Lucius, and we can split up. We can both- we can do both of these in the next turn. The question is who wants to go where?
(overlapping)
DRE: We also need to find Jericho. We need to find Jericho.
KEITH: I wanna go- I want to go with Jack, to see Morbash.
ART: I don't know how to find Jericho.
AUSTIN: You had a clue about where Jericho might be.
DRE: Yeah he's at the bottom of the Flounder pub. He had that drink ticket.
ART: Oh I thought he wasn't going there until- like that drink ticket wasn't good for hours!
DRE, muttering: Yeah, don't worry.
ALI: Yeah he would also take the ticket with him.
DRE, muttering: I've got my fuckin notes right here!
[Ali laughing]
ALI: If he wanted to--
(overlapping)
ART: Right, he's a depressed dude missing-can't even remember his shit.
KEITH: That dude is a mess! He probably forgot his fuckin ticket! Yeah!
JACK: Heh. True fact.
ART: Or we can just stay here for seven hours, he's gonna come back for that drink ticket.
[Ali and Austin laugh]
(overlapping)
ALI: I mean you have that option to like…
DRE: Yeah just fuckin camp out...I'll send Kodiak to get some donuts, and we'll just chill here.
AUSTIN: Aw man, I could eat a donut...
ALI: It's snowing, maybe he's just gonna go home.
ART: Maybe everyone's- that's the good thing, is I'm pretty sure we can find Lucius. Lucius is gonna be at the church, because this is a crisis. [Ali laughs] People are gonna- but that's the other thing, is that that church is gonna be busy.
KEITH: Wait, whoa! He's evil now! [PAUSE] Maybe he's like, 'Fuck this crisis! I'm out.'
[Ali laughs]
DRE: Yeah but he's gotta...he's gotta be manipulative.
(overlapping)
ALI: He's gotta walk the line.
DRE: He's gotta keep up appearances.
ART: He's probably like-
JACK: Listen-
DRE: Art, you're saying when I murder your priest, a lot of people are gonna see it.
AUSTIN: Woof!
ART: Yeah I don't think you should just like, start with murder.
[Dre laughs]
JACK: Maybe it's also worth mentioning that-
KEITH (over Jack): We can just like arrest him. We don't even have to arrest him, we can just take it to those other dudes.
ART: I can’t arrest him.
[PAUSE]
JACK: Hella is evil.
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: Hella is evil.
KEITH: Hella is evil.
ALI: Hella and...
KEITH: Being evil is not basis for arrest.
ART: You mean you want him to be like 'Hey we're both evil, confess some shit to me.' We're not-
[crosstalk]
ALI: Well, actually....
DRE: 'What's up, you wanna be nefarious together?'
ALI: Well actually.... (dissolves into laughter)
[Austin laughs]
JACK: Like...Prelate Lucius is evil. And...Hella is...technically evil. So maybe ev-
DRE: I don't-
ALI: I think that they're evil in MUCH different ways.
KEITH: Evil asterisk.
AUSTIN: Evil recognise evil, is what you're saying.
[Everyone laughs]
ART: But does- does it? Does it?
[Ali laughs]
ALI: I guess he doesn't...only Hadrian is The Paladin. So he doesn't have evil sense, so he wouldn't know that we could get along?
ART: If he was gonna be The Anything though, he'd be like, The Cleric.
JACK: Unless Ali goes up and is like 'Okay, here's the deal.' [Ali giggles.] 'You're evil...I'm evil...we're both evil...it could just be great.'
ALI: ‘We could work somethin out here…’
(overlapping)
DRE: You get some of your evil friends,
ALI: Let's go get a beer…
KEITH: We could have some sort of villain parlay.
DRE: I'll get my evil friends...We can all be evil friends together.
ART: But like, that's part of it, right? If Hadrian rolls in, he's not gonna- he's not gonna tell me anything.
ALI: Right.
ART: Like...Like I’m the- like...unless our plan is for me to like use 'I am on the law' on him, and try to compel him to confess through divine might-
AUSTIN: I wanna- I wanna interrupt only again to remind you to play your characters here. Which is another way that this is different than Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective. Where...you're probably right, Art. That he- that-
ART: But- the last that happened was-
AUSTIN: But what would Hadrian think to do?
ART: Well especially because the last time that I cast guidance, I was told to go to the church.
KEITH: Wait, but-
AUSTIN: Right. That's-again. Let's zip in to Hadrian's headspace. What’s he think he should do?
(overlapping)
KEITH: No I thought that- you cast guidance and it told you to LEAVE to church.
ART: Hadrian's going to the church.
AUSTIN: That was the first time. The second time-
DRE (over Austin): Wait, well- when he was in the church it told him to leave, then he cast and it told him to go back.
KEITH: Ohhh okay. That's when I was-
ART: Yeah apparently god didn't think I had enough information.
[Ali and Austin laugh]
AUSTIN: Or you're misreading- or hey, it's really hard to understand what a god is telling you. Like, when we see a sign, we apply our own reading to it.
ART: God's like: 'are you sure you don't need more clues?'
[Austin, Dre, and Keith laugh]
AUSTIN: Are you sure you don't want to go talk to that dead guy? Remember how I empower you to talk to dead people?!
[Everyone laughs]
DRE: Hey, remember that THING? That you can do?
KEITH: This is what I'm saying. Guys. Alright. So. Here's what's up. Rat man said orc boys. [Austin laughs] I think that Lem and Fero gotta also gotta go talk to Morbash.
JACK: There's also this, there's the Ordennan embassy in the north, and the escaped Ordennan prince. So there's that. (DRE: Yeah.) And I mean, Throndir and Hella-
ALI (over Jack): Do we think-
ART (over Jack): I think that's for next-
ART: I think we should do that next turn-
DRE: I mean Hella needs to be at that embassy. I think.
ALI: I mean, so the thing about that break out is that I feel like that's- people have hired Hella to do that. (AUSTIN: Right) [Laughs] So she doesn't really care about what's going on there.
ART: Wait- people have hired you to break people out of the jail?
ALI: Shit like that.
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: She ain’t evil cos she thought bad things. You know what I mean?
DRE: Hella's done some shit.
ALI: Right, no- that's within her wheelhouse.
AUSTIN: Right.
JACK: Oh man, I've also got a lot of explosive powder that is apparently significant - way more significant to me than I currently understand. That Lem probably knows.
AUSTIN (over Jack): Well, you don't have the powder. You have like a sample of the powder that the alchemist, Dr. K, recognised as being that type of black powder that he can provide.
JACK: Could you also remind me what Dr. K's response was to me asking if anybody had bought the poison recently?
[Keith laughs]
DRE: Yeah he said the rat boys had.
AUSTIN: Right, he said the rat boys make that purchase a lot.
DRE: Which corroborates with what what’s-his-face at the docks said. Stretch.
ART: This is- this is a request. Someone should come with Hadrian to talk to Lucius, just because I don't trust...I don't trust...I don't believe that I can necessarily do what needs to be done.
[Ali laughs]
DRE: I'll roll with you. Me and my dog.
AUSTIN: Can we just- I wanna just for the sake of the listeners who, I'm not sure what our release schedule is gonna be on this. Let's go over the physical evidence that we have, and just to remind you what you have to show off when you meet with people, and stuff.
ART: Are we counting talking to dead people as physical evidence?
AUSTIN: I don't think so.
ART: Okay.
AUSTIN: I think that's evidence that's you know, that's in the form of knowledge, you know. You know it, but like- um, you can press them on that info. But let's just go over the material stuff that you have. What do you have?
KEITH (over Austin in a singsong voice): Hello my skype is doing a weird thing!
[PAUSE, Dre hums]
JACK: I'm going to defer, I left all my notes at home.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ALI: The hook?
KEITH (over Austin): Oh! I didn't mean to send an error report. Now logging in...I'm shouldn't be talking, I don't wanna have to edit this shit out. This is not a good idea.
AUSTIN: You have the hook, it's a black fishing hook, it's a large black fishing hook.
DRE: And we know that it's made of a strange material. Gregalos when Art questioned him said something about it being made of a strange material that made it- It wasn't the murder weapon, but it made it harder for him to not die.
AUSTIN: Yes, you do know that. Yes.
AUSTIN: Yes.
DRE: Or something.
AUSTIN: Yes.
DRE: We have the wine glass, which we've confirmed with the alchemist was laced with the poison that Stretch has also said that he directly used to poison Gregalos.
AUSTIN: Yes.
DRE: Umm...we have the diary of Jericho, where he says that he's been seeking personal counsel from Lucius. He mentions bearing the weight of a loss, there's hints that have been dropped that seems like he lost...someone close to him that's related to him. I would theorise that it's probably his son, but it's someone named Bishop. (AUSTIN: Right.) And- we have a painting, well like a cartoon featuring him and this Bishop person, that was done by Bernard?
AUSTIN: Uh, no- Espanarde.
DRE: The illusionist?
[Ali giggles]
(overlapping)
DRE: Espanarde.
AUSTIN: Espanarde. It's a worse name.
DRE: I apologise.
KEITH: Es- no, hold on, Espanarde is a great name!
AUSTIN: Yeah, it's pretty good. I'm happy with it. And Jack.
DRE: Uh, the most damning parts of Jericho is that he mentions that Lucius uh, directly talked with him about Absolution, and he wrote something along the lines of 'I had sinned and there was something I could do about it.' And we have also confirmed that Jericho has access to that type of poison. BUT, we've learned that he didn't do that. Or at least, he's not the one who directly poisoned Gregalos at this point.
ALI: Yeah. We also have like, a testimony? Does that count?
AUSTIN: From who?
ALI: From...the guy who poisoned Greggy.
KEITH: The rat king.
AUSTIN: Maybe. I don't know, like...does it hold up in court? Does it hold up- like I don't know. I don't know if that's-
KEITH: But is there...is there a court? Does it need to hold up in court?
(overlapping)
ALI: Yeah, we're not bringing it to-
ART: Yeah, is there a court?
AUSTIN: The court is those two ladies.
ALI: Yeah, those two ladies who want to kill everyone at the end of the night? So like, I think for like 'hey this guy confessed' maybe they'll take that.
[everyone talks over each other loudly, Ali laughs]
KEITH: Yeah I guess worst case scenario, we're like 'Well we got this guy.'
AUSTIN: What I'll say is-
ART: The standard in the American judicial system is that you just have to believe… if the- witness testimony is good enough, if you believe the witness to be credible.
AUSTIN: Right. And so the question is: Is the thing you heard this guy say in code to his friends, bragging, good enough testimony to convince the Golden Lances to kill him?
JACK: Probably not.
KEITH: Yes.
AUSTIN: That's the question!
ART: I don't know, he's a- he's a scum boy.
AUSTIN: He's a scum boy! Absolutely.
(overlapping)
KEITH: But he's just- they would fuckin kill people anyway!
DRE: He's a dirty slime boy.
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: You might need- yeah, they do! They do! Absolutely, they do. That might be enough. If you figure- if you say 'this is the dude.' that may be enough. For sure. But I wanna make sure we separate testimony from physical evidence that you can point to and say, 'this proves it.'
ALI (over Austin): I mean should we- should we. Okay.
DRE: What else...
ALI: But like...should we gather more physical evidence? Like should we go back to the...poison place? And like...get actual receipts?
AUSTIN (over Ali): You should always be gathering physical evidence-
AUSTIN: That dude does not have actual receipts. [Ali laughs] I would have given you actual receipts if that dude took… kept receipts. There are characters in this world-
[everyone talks over Austin]
AUSTIN: I wanna be clear! There absolutely- I have the word 'receipt' written down in front of me now. [Laughing] So there are characters with receipts.
KEITH: It's just not Sid Half-Off. Sid Half-Off doesn't have those.
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: Sid Half-Off doesn't have… uh… Sid Half-Off… not… for all of his products, let's say. But for some of them, that dude does.
ART: Does he pay taxes?
AUSTIN: Dr. K does not.
DRE: Wait, wait- wait wait wait! I have a super important thing that I just realized when I was looking through the notes from yesterday. When you all went to Greggy's room, there was a sign of a struggle in that room.
AUSTIN: There was.
ALI (over Dre): Oh yeah, there was a- the magic stuff.
DRE: Including that spilled wine. So it is quite- it is quite possible that someone else intervened in between the time that Stretch poisoned that wine.
JACK: And there were magic missile… bullets.
AUSTIN: There were.
KEITH: Well Fantasmo was there.
[PAUSE]
(overlapping)
ART: Or someone.
DRE: No, it was Greggy's room. Wasn't it?
KEITH: Yeah, Fantasmo was in Greggy's room with Greggy.
DRE: Okay.
ALI: I don’t believe that. We don't know that for sure.
JACK: It's a distinct possibility. Um, we also have splinters from the MacGuffin box...
AUSTIN: Right.
JACK: And I think that's about it.
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: Also notes about Greggy-
ALI: We should be also be like...concerned about that.
AUSTIN: Also notes about Greggy being part of a thing called The Disciples of Fantasmo.
JACK: The Disciples of Fantasmo.
ART: Yeah guys, we can pin this on Fantasmo. I just wanna throw that out there. [Jack laughs]
(overlapping)
KEITH: You know what, this might- this might be all Fantasmo.
DRE: Hey, that's- that's my Elf Bro! That's my Elf Bro!
ART: Yeah he causes problems.
ALI: Yeah...
KEITH: He steals books- we already know that he stole that book once!
DRE: Other...other evidence... cause I'm gonna keep this on the critical path so we're not here for five hours again.
AUSTIN: Thank you. Thank you Dre. Thank you very much
DRE: We have that pipeweed, that we have confirmed that Jericho is… somewhat addicted to. That was found at the- at the place where we recovered Greggy's body, um… we know that Mitta was hired by a man with bright eyes and a booming voice, aka probably Lucius. To do that prison break. And we have the black powder residue from that prison break. Which we have… said could come from the alchemy shop, but could also resemble the type of black powder that's used in Ordennan warships.
AUSTIN: Or come from the goblins in… in and around Auniq. Right.
DRE: We also have that deer coaster, but that's just from the Laughing Buck, which we know is where Greggy was staying. That's not- super crazy.
AUSTIN: I think that's everything. That's everything I have on my sheet.
DRE: Yeah. That's all I have going through my notes too.
KEITH: Yeah, me too. On my notes.
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: Next turn! 5 P. What- where are you all going?
DRE: Ha, you said pee.
AUSTIN: Yeah I did. I did.
[Ali groans]
JACK: I'm going to the archives.
ART: I'm going to church!
KEITH: I'm goin’ with Jack.
DRE: I'm going with ya!
ALI: Oh. Um...
AUSTIN: Where's Hella going? That leaves Hella.
ALI: Is there anything that we wanna investigate that's not, like, personal stuff?
AUSTIN: Good question.
ALI: Is there anyone I can rough up for us? Just in the meantime?
DRE: I mean… you could try and get to the Flounder, but that would take two turns because you gotta go through the gate.
AUSTIN: Everything takes- everything now just takes two hours. The gates are done, at this point.
ALI and DRE: Okay.
AUSTIN: As you approach, as you move through gates, I'll explain why that is the case.
DRE: You could go to the Flounder to see if you can find Jericho.
ALI: Uhh, sure!
ART: That seems like Hella's speed.
ALI: Yeah. [laughs]
ART: I'm gonna go to a bar, and break someone's face!
DRE (over Art): Beat the SHIT out of this guy!
ALI: What-
DRE (in exaggerated Batman voice): WHOAREYOUWORKINGFOR
[They laugh]
AUSTIN: S2 is the Flounder.
ALI: S… 2… oh, I’m V. Jesus I couldn't find-
ART: Oh, so we're right next to each other.
DRE: Yeah, man.
KEITH: Oh, I was- I thought my mouse broke- I was using the wrong mouse!
JACK: Why do you have multiple- okay, I can understand multiple monitors-
KEITH: I'm on my laptop, but I'm right next to my desktop.
JACK: Ah, okay.
DRE: Mice game too strong.
JACK: We haven't even breached the Garden District yet.
AUSTIN: You have not even.
ART: Rich people don't commit crimes! That's why they're rich.
AUSTIN: Man, yeah. They never-
[Everyone laughs]
JACK: But I mean that's-
KEITH: Well, rich people do hire rats to commit crimes for them.
AUSTIN: I will remind you that one of the facts about that Ordennan stuff is that dude, that like, Ordennan merchant prince was in jail, probably- he claims that he was in jail because he was set up by a Velasian noble who was upset about his love affair with their son.
ART: I mean I'm sure it isn't, but that all feels like...like red herring at this point.
AUSTIN: Could be.
ART: Pickled red herring. Delicious, pickled, red herring.
[They talk over each other.]
DRE: The only reason that I think it would have any- the only thing we have that ties the two together is that we have strong suspicions that Lucius hired Mitta to do the break, and we have Jericho tied to Lucius. (ALI and AUSTIN: Right.) So it a tenuous tie, but it's still- there's enough of one there that I think we shouldn't dismiss it outright.
ART: Look, we're about to find out that Lucius is innocent, and we're all just gonna feel really stupid about wasting all of our time. [Ali laughs]
(overlapping)
KEITH: I think- I think the strongest-
AUSTIN: Do you want to start there? Let's start at Lucius.
KEITH: Okay.
DRE: Yeah, let's do it!
ART: Yeah, cause there's just gonna be quick, and we're gonna go home, and we're gonna have a nice… Christmas feast.
AUSTIN: So… as people move through the city, you realize… what a mess this is. Velas doesn't have the infrastructure for snow. It barely did back when it got snow, right? Like this is a fairly warm climate here. So now that it's hit with a blizzard, like it is just… streets are filled with snow, there's no… there's not any good drainage stuff happening, the way it’s been -
DRE: Yeah. This is Atlanta last year.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
KEITH: Nobody has a shovel.
AUSTIN: Exactly. And it's way more snow than they had last year.
KEITH: Why would someone have a shovel?
AUSTIN: Exactly. Except to bury a body. That's the wrong type of shovel.
DRE: I mean it could work. Improvise.
AUSTIN: Right. [laughs] So there's a strange mix of emotions around this. There are certainly a handful of people who are cut from the same sort of cloth as like, Lem, or Fantasmo, maybe? Who think this is interesting? Most of those people are safe in their homes. The people who were stuck out working, on this holiday, and there were people who were doing that- are, are not in a good way. Most of them are far from their homes, most of them are not dressed for this at all- it was the middle of a heatwave. There are people who are cold, who are freezing- there are certainly dead people. More people are dying by the minute.
The church has become a refuge, for many of the people in the Sun district, which is huge. It's a big building, and it's made of strong material. You know, even the glass is thick. One: it has glass. It might be stained glass, but it has nice glass windows that can protect it from the wind and the snow. And so, by the time you get there, that whole facility is filled with people who are coming in from the snow. Merchants, beggars, workers, you know. People who had been reveling out in the parade just moments ago.
P.S. that parade is just broken up, completely. [Dre laughs]. Half of it has seemed to retreat back into the Sun district, the other half...you can tell has gone towards the Garden district. There is lots of noise coming from the Garden district, I’ll say. The...Temple of Samothes, is at this point filled with people, and it feels warm, and safe, and good. Prelate Lucius has been administering medicine, and also ministering to people who are scared and alone.
DRE: Sounds pretty evil.
AUSTIN: When you find him, he's just finished speaking to a big group of people, calming their fears and letting them know that Samothes will be here to protect them soon. That- that the power of the sun has not left us, and he keeps like, he'll point to the sun in the sky. Like I said before, the sun has not been covered up. It burns through these clouds somehow. It doesn't stop them- it doesn't stop the blizzard, but the light has not stopped either. And he keeps reminding them of, you know. He's doing the thing priests do. Like, you can get through this, we'll get through this together, we're a community. Think about the stories, think about the hard times that our heroes have gone through. Think about Samothes, think about such and such apostle- not apostle, but disciple of Samothes, or this person, or that person, or this time. Um, and that's what he's up to, when you find him. What would you like to know from him? And this isn't your- I… gimme a roll. Let's start with, gimme a roll.
DRE: Before we roll- (AUSTIN: Sure.) I wanna ask you something Austin. You said in the last session that the blizzard was preceded by thunder? (AUSTIN: Yes.) Was that… does that thunder sound maybe a little familiar?
AUSTIN: What are you looking for here?
DRE: Is this that storm that I accidentally conjured back in the mountains, that like rolled… north westernly...
AUSTIN: It would be really hard for you to be sure of that. But that thought cannot help but come up in your mind.
DRE (laughing): Yeah… okay. Sorry guys!
AUSTIN: Has that come up in the podcast yet? Have people heard that? Yeah, people have heard that by now.
DRE: Yeah yeah yeah. That happened.
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: Yeah, literally in the last episode.
DRE: So this might become a failed roll. I'll make this roll. 2d6 +1 right, because I've got Art with me?
JACK: Throndir, have you just killed like, seventy people?
AUSTIN: Yep.
DRE: Eight.
AUSTIN: Okay. Any abilities?
DRE: Uh, Art? Do you want to do anything? I don't think I know- I don't know if I have anything that can really...
ART: None of my abilities are gonna be really useful right now. Some of them might be super useful in a minute, slash I might need a new job, you guys. [Everyone laughs] I don't know if anyone's heard of anything… I'd probably be pretty good at manual labour?
DRE (over Art): What we could do… Art. If things get really bad, and we really think that Lucius is being dodgy, I could always shoot him with the magic arrow.
[Austin snorts]
ART: Let's… let's not- let's call that plan… C. [Austin and Ali laugh] Plan A is he just tells us what we want. (AUSTIN: Okay.) Plan B is I use- I try to use god to compel him to say what we want him to say. (KEITH: I wouldn't even-) Plan C is anything that involves shooting him.
DRE: Well remember that the arrow doesn't actually hurt him, once it hits him it kinda… poofs away.
ART: But he'll know he's been hit by an arrow.
JACK, laughing: The problem- what if Prelate Lucius has been accidentally poisoned by this poison, and you hit him with the arrow, and he just goes [makes whooshing noise]
DRE (over Jack): He'll be fine. He'll be fine.
[Keith laughs hard]
JACK: And that's the end of the Prelate.
AUSTIN: Give me a… [sighs] I kinda want to- I feel like I want to separate your 'You've rolled an eight, you get two questions' thing from the questions you want to ask him. I think that it's important to zoom in on this. So Hadrian, what are you asking him?
ART: [Sighs] I want to know about-
AUSTIN: You can still- after this, ask your question, you know?
ART: I want to know about- I want to know about Jericho. I want to know what he thinks about him, what he thinks he might be capable of. I want to know about absolution.
AUSTIN: Sure. He explains to you that Jericho… was, uh. He was the sort of believer, for most of his life, that would come around for the holida- for the holy days. Right? (ART: Sure.) And as- as is often the case that things that bring us closer to Samothes are the great disasters in our lives. In his case, it was the loss of his son, and then the loss of his family. Something went bad. He never really learned the specifics, but he knows that Jericho blamed himself for the death of his son, and he deeply… he tried very hard to help Jericho get his head back on straight. He knew that Jericho had been involved with- with that halfling green, he knew that Jericho was keeping bad hours, and was not- and was barely holding onto a job down by the docks. And he knew that Jericho blamed himself for his son's death.
And so, he requested that Jericho use his skills with his hands to build a sort of ornament for this holy day. An old design, that had been kind of- not lost to the ages, but had been kind of put aside. It was an old symbol of Samothes' strength, and that it wasn't common to see it anymore. But that it would hang from the front of church, or be put on a stand, I guess, on front of the church. And what he's describing to you is that thing you found in Jericho's-
DRE: That sundial looking thing?
AUSTIN: The sun- the sun ornament thing. This big wooden sun ornament thing.
ART: So he didn’t finish it.
AUSTIN: He hadn't seen it- that he hadn't seen it yet, but had hoped that it would give Jericho something to focus on. And that, and that of course this isn't how Samothes' love works. Of course Samothes doesn't blame him, but if you could tell this man that would bring him absolution, that that would be enough to calm him. That would be enough to make him feel absolved of his sin.
ART: And this feels… this feels true?
AUSTIN: Is that your question?
[Art groans, then Ali laughs]
(overlapped)
KEITH: Now listen, that doesn't sound like- that doesn't sound like evil boy shit.
DRE: Well I know Throndir's questioning...
DRE: What Throndir wants to know is… what his connection with Mitta is.
AUSTIN: Is this Throndir's… is this your question, or is this Throndir asking him?
DRE: This is Throndir asking him.
AUSTIN: Okay. [Sighs] He looks to Hadrian to see if he can trust you.
ART (as Hadrian): Yeah- yeah, of course.
DRE: Yeah, we've been through the shit together.
ART: We've been through shit together.
AUSTIN: He shakes his head. You should-
DRE (as Throndir, jokingly?): Remember when your hand was stuck on that ice man, and I shoved a torch in his face, Hadrian? [Austin laughs] Come on, we go way back!
AUSTIN: He shakes his head, and says
AUSTIN (as Lucius): You should speak to Robel. To Lucas Robel. He's the representative of our district, for Velas. He is… he is a good man, who has made some mistakes, and who prayed for guidance. And… I know I've committed a sin, here.
AUSTIN: He like, sighs.
AUSTIN (as Lucius): But… I think… I don't think anyone was hurt.
[PAUSE]
ART: I just wanna like, look him in the eyes. And like, compassionately I just wanna like-
KEITH (over Art): His bright, bright eyes.
ART (as Hadrian): Is everything-
DRE: Wait wait wait!! Wait wait wait! Wait, before you do that. Is he still evil? You should sense that. (AUSTIN: Yes. He's still evil.) You should check that.
AUSTIN: He's still evil.
DRE: Okay.
ART (as Hadrian): Is everything okay?
AUSTIN (as Lucius): I hope it will be soon.
AUSTIN: He says.
KEITH: That could be wicked dark.
[Ali laughs]
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: And looks outside at the snow.
JACK: That sounds… very suspicious.
KEITH: Oh okay. Well.
ALI: He could be talking about a lot of things
AUSTIN: Ah- you know what, no. I think he actually says
AUSTIN (as Lucius): I believe it will be soon. I have faith, and you should too.
KEITH: Well you should fuckin- you should ask him why he's so evil?
JACK: That sounds… that sounds a lot like… do you remember when Gregalos was like… Gregalos said something like 'There was a great and noble thing, and somebody stopped it for the good reasons' or like, with good intentions or something? Someone saying like, ‘I believe this will be over soon’ kind of reminds me of that. Cause that sort of-
KEITH: Why don't you just ask him... like, 'dude I know you're evil right now.'
[Ali giggles]
ART: I don't know how you… what? What does that even sound like?
[Ali laughs]
(overlapping)
KEITH, slowly: I know that you're evil right now. What's up?
DRE: You know what we can do? You wanna know how he's evil? Lemme just stab him with this magic arrow real quick.
KEITH: Don't- well I'm not talking about attacking him! (DRE: Well it won't hurt him!) I'm just talking about asking him, like: 'bro, you're usually not evil, right now you're fucking evil, [Ali laughs] and that's crazy! Usually people don't just switch like that!'
DRE: Keith, Keith, Keith. Lemme tell you about these special arrows I got.
ART: Because I don’t know-
[Austin laughs]
ALI (over Dre): Maybe ask-
KEITH: Just the- what I'm saying is just because Hadrian is uncomfortable communicating his feelings doesn't mean that you shouldn't try.
DRE: Whoa, that's...fucking life advice Keith.
KEITH: Buddy, I care about you. What's up, you're evil!
ART: I don't know how to like, talk about that. Like literally how. (KEITH: You just gotta dive in!) Like, 'Hey man, usually I can just tell who's evil and who's not, and right now, you feel evil.'
[Ali laughs]
KEITH: Just talk about how he doesn't feel like his has the light of Samothes anymore or something like that. I don't know.
ART: I don't know how like… make a… hmm...
[PAUSE]
DRE: Here you go, ask him what he means when he says he has sinned.
[PAUSE]
KEITH: Killed a guy.
DRE: That kinda… houses it in your religion wheelhouse there.
[Everyone laughs]
ART: Guys I have to still work with this guy!
[Everyone laughs again]
KEITH: But like, you guys don't work super close. You're usually off doing adventure shit. [PAUSE] It's not like you guys are gonna be in cubicles next to each other. [Ali laughs] And look, maybe you'll make him not evil anymore, and he'll be like thank you- like oh my god, thank you so much for- not making- I'm not, now I'm not evil. And like… chaotic.
DRE: Maybe we need to exorcise him, Art.
AUSTIN: I don't think that's a thing you have.
JACK: Don't shoot an arrow at him!
[PAUSE]
ART: [Sighs] I can- like I can escalate this in a different way. And I'm trying to like… maybe I should make sure I understand the ability entirely. Like, I want to know if I can use that ability like… not- like, 'stealthily' isn't what I mean.
AUSTIN: No. You mean 'I am the law'?
ART: But like- is there like- yeah.
AUSTIN: I don't think- you can NOT do that stealthily. There's no like, you're giving an order based on your divine authority. Like, I will *never* read as that like, oh you slipped that into a conversation real quick.
[Ali and Art laugh]
ART: Well like, just like casually like, 'Hey man, you know that I'm directly empowered by god? No, yeah it's pretty cool. Hey why don't you just like tell me what's going on?'
[Ali and Austin laugh]
DRE: What if uh… maybe we need to talk to him in the back. Maybe we need to talk to him in the back.
AUSTIN: Man.
DRE: Cause then you can 'I am the law' him, I can shoot him with an arrow... [Austin snorts] we can gets all sorts of interest here Art.
AUSTIN, incredulous: Y'all still have your two questions!
[Ali laughs]
KEITH: Dre hates this priest. Dre HATES this priest.
DRE: No no no no! Okay, let me explain- when I'm talking about these magic arrows, these are arrows that we got, from, uh...
ART, cutting Dre off: No one's shooting him with an arrow! It's just not happening!
DRE: Whoa hold on!
KEITH: It's still like- if I had a rock that I knew wouldn't hurt your head, and I still threw it at you...
[Everyone laughs]
DRE: No, but Keith!
KEITH: What?
DRE: Once you hear about these arrows, you're gonna see how rad they are.
KEITH: Okay.
DRE (reading): On a successful hit, no damage is dealt, but you can perform discern realities and they have to answer three questions from their perspective.
(overlapped)
KEITH: I mean, no- I know all about the arrows, trust me. And those are dope arrows,
JACK: I think the operative word there is 'successful hit'.
DRE: Yeah!
KEITH: BUT… you fucking shot that dude.
DRE: It's fine!
(overlapped)
ALI: You can still take one out-
AUSTIN: Let's make a decision here in the purpose of time. We have to move.
ART: Yeah okay, I wanna- I wanna ask my question.
AUSTIN: Yes.
DRE: Go for it.
ART: Do I need to escalate this confrontation?
AUSTIN: That's not a question. That's a question about your play style. That's not a question about the world.
ART: Is he lying to me?
AUSTIN: Yes. How do you know that?
[PAUSE]
ART: I don't know, I've know him for a while...
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: Yeah, sure.
ART: Maybe he's not a good liar. Maybe he's a great liar and I've just caught him in a lie before.
DRE: Also you can sense he's evil for the first time in the entire time you've known him.
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: To be clear- to be clear- the whole thing isn't a lie.
ART: No I was here this morning and he wasn't lying to me then. Hella's evil and she doesn't lie to me all the time, probably.
AUSTIN: You sense that there is something untruthful happening here. But- there's a great- when he talks about the compassion he feels for Jericho, when he talks about giving counsel to Lucas Robel, the district representative… there is- deep truth in that. You've seen that in him before, and you've seen the opposite. You've seen when he's put it on, you know?
ART: Sure.
AUSTIN: There are some days that priests don't like getting up to go to work. They're normal people. You've seen him sigh and put on the vestments, and stand in front of a crowd before. This is not that. But there is something he's hiding from you. There's something he's being dishonest about.
ART: Alright Dre, you should ask your question and then I'm gonna get fired real quick, and… I'll see what the rest of my adventuring life is like.
AUSTIN: Sure.
DRE: What is the sin that he has committed?
AUSTIN: [Sighs] There are- I'm not sure you can… know that… here. What I think… two things. One, this might be on me for not being clear enough. What he said that, what he meant - and this isn't taking up your question, because this sounds like I wasn't clear enough. When he said 'I know I've sinned', what he was directly referencing when he said that was sending Mitta to break Therat Saal out of prison. (DRE: Okay.) But that he did it for good reasons. Which, to learn about, you should talk to-
(overlapped)
ART: Anyone else stop hearing Austin, or is it just me?
DRE: Uhh Austin you just went- mute for a second.
JACK: I can't...hear anybody.
KEITH: Um...everybody went quiet for me.
AUSTIN: So-
KEITH: Can you guys hear me?
DRE: Or I'm losing everyone on the call.
KEITH: Do that weird cross arms thing if you can hear me- oh!
AUSTIN: Oh!
KEITH: There we go! Hey!
DRE: There we go!
ALI: Hey!
KEITH: What was that?
JACK: Everybody...
AUSTIN: What happened there?
(overlapped)
DRE: That was weird.
KEITH: I couldn't hear anybody!
ART: I lost audio.
ALI: I don't know.
AUSTIN: Me either, me either.
ALI: Yeah, same here.
KEITH: Okay, I can't wait until I'm editing that, and I see what we all said.
[Everyone laughs]
AUSTIN: Did you hear what I was saying?
KEITH: I might not cut that. No. You were saying that he was directly referencing breaking- the jail break.
AUSTIN: Right. He was referencing sending Merat-Merat to break Therat Saal out of prison. And that- to get the full story on why that happened, that you should go talk to… to Lucas Robel-
DRE: Lucas.
AUSTIN: Who is the district's representative. Um, but he says that in way that's like-
DRE: Is he considered a noble? Lucas?
AUSTIN: ...Yeah, yeah. But he's like the Sun district's noble, d'you know what I mean? Like, he's like a low- he's like an alderman from like, you know, around the way?
[Keith laughs]
DRE: So he's probably not… the alleged lover of this prince.
AUSTIN: He is not- No no no no. No. No. He is not. 'cause that guy's like a-
(overlapped)
JACK: Minor noble Lucas Robel.
KEITH: That's a- that’s a known guy.
AUSTIN: He's a minor-
DRE: That's a garden district guy!
AUSTIN: Uh… who's been here for a while? Like, who lives in Velas?
ART: Hadrian.
AUSTIN: Hadrian does? Hadrian would probably know that this is the father of the kid, who is the lover.
DRE: Okay. Alright.
AUSTIN: Lucas- Lucas Robel is like an old dude from around the way. Like, he's been… if you've been in the Sun district for a while, like Lucas has done well by everybody, and has a family with someone else who is higher up on the nobility chain. And his son is like, poised to be a hot shot. So… you know that there's a relationship there. That's what he meant when he said sin. That's what he was talking about. So if you wanna ask a different question, that's totally fine.
ART: Sounds like a man who's innocent of murder to me! Pack it in boys. Goin' home.
[PAUSE]
DRE: Is… the ornament really what he tasked Jericho with doing. And I guess, I'm looking for like an obvious stand or a place where this thing should have gone?
AUSTIN: Right, right. Yes? It's clear he asked him to make that thing. That was not like a- Jericho didn't come to that on his own, it's very clear to you that that was a thing that he was taught to do. (DRE: Yeah, yeah.) Or told to do. That said, your mind isn't clear on that. Like, your mind isn't like 'and that's the only thing that he told Jericho.' Like I'm not giving you… (DRE: Right.) There is a feeling- something else is happening there. Also. On top of that. And I think you can just tell that based on the way that he speaks, right. Like you can just tell when a dude is- he focuses a little bit too much on the details. He goes a little bit too in depth on this weird sundial.
DRE (over Austin): Throndir is used to authority figures who lie.
AUSTIN: Right. Yes, yes. That's true. [Dre laughs] And this very specific way of doing it is like, he has all this detail about this wooden sun, and like… yeah no-one cares. You're burying me, you're boring me on purpose. You know? (DRE: Yeah.) Alright. Hadrian, you're about to get fired… what are you going? So we can bounce on this.
ART: Okay, I'm gonna do it, and I feel shitty about it, and… but I won't have to deal with the consequences until like, March? Right? (AUSTIN: Right. Sure.) So… let's just… let's just do it. I look him in the eye, and I tell him,
ART (as Hadrian): I'm- I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have to do this. I don't- I don't want to, but--
KEITH: Get the arrow!
ART (as Hadrian): In the name of our Father, in the name of Samothes, on this, his most Holy day, I must insist that you tell me everything. Please.
[PAUSE]
ART: Oh and I have to make a roll.
AUSTIN: He- no you don't.
ART: Oh wait, I don't have to make a roll.
AUSTIN: For this, we're just saying it works. He-
ART: It always works.
AUSTIN: Right, right. But we're saying it's a ten, right? He says, [PAUSE] He looks you in the eye and like, you share a moment that is… cold. And he says-
[PAUSE]
AUSTIN (as Lucius): I work for our lord in a way that you can not even comprehend. Now, I have others to attend to. To care for. You should learn to do the same.
AUSTIN: And then he backs away cautiously, and flees.
DRE: He runs?
AUSTIN: He walks like…(quickly) buhbuhbuh. Somewhere else in the compound.
KEITH: Like a grump? Like a big old grump?
AUSTIN: Yeah.
[Art sighs sadly]
(Keith grumbles, imitating Lucius)
JACK: Like angry man.
DRE: Art, should I shoot him with the arrow? Shall I hit with the arrow?
[Jack laughs]
ART: I really don't think you should, [Austin, Jack, and Ali laugh] but it's you, buddy.
JACK: I love the way that you've arrived here, and probably done plans A, B, and C as he's running away.
DRE: Yeah, we're on D right now.
KEITH: Hey dude [whispers] do the arrow.
AUSTIN: If you wanna do it, do it.
ART: I mean, I wouldn't.
AUSTIN: I don't know… what I'll say is I don't know what that will give you at this point here, at this second.
ART (over Austin): I wouldn't shoot him with an arrow.
DRE: Yeah, that's fair.
AUSTIN: There are- you know. [Dre hums, thinking] Maybe. Maybe.
ART: I said I was sorry!
[PAUSE]
DRE: I mean… what has happened here recently?
AUSTIN: Sure, but that's like… recently. We're talking about a week, you know.
DRE: Alright. I'll save this arrow. Someone’s getting arrowed during the course of this investigation. (AUSTIN: Okay.) [Ali laughs] Someone's gettin shot with a magic arrow.
KEITH (over Dre): What if- wait, what if you need- how many of those do you have?
(overlapped)
AUSTIN: He has ammo 3, so it's just not gonna cost him any for this- for this one use. I'm just not gonna make him- so he has them for this game.
DRE: Well it's ammo 3....
AUSTIN: Okay, let's move on.
ART: Sorry guys, that took a while.
AUSTIN: Let's hit up Hella real quick.
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: Hella? (ALI: Yeah.) Give me your investigation roll.
ALI: Oh, right. [Laughs]
DRE: Come on, Hella!
ALI: 2d6...
AUSTIN: Yep.
[PAUSE]
(overlapped)
ALI: Oh!
DRE: Nice!
AUSTIN: Dang!
AUSTIN: Hella rolled a ten by herself! She don't even need nobody!
ALI: Sayin’. I’m sayin’.
DRE: You're a strong independent detective that don't need no help!
AUSTIN: Uh-huh! Alright, so the proprietress of… the proprietress of the Bottom O' The Flounder is this really bubbly, fun lady named Fisher Lacey. [Keith laughs] And when she comes in, and immediately she's like
AUSTIN (as Fisher Lacey): What do you need? You need an iced nog?
KEITH (whispering) Iced nog?
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN (as Fisher Lacey): You need...a couple of ham sandwiches? Take a sit down. I seen you around the way a couple times!
KEITH: What kind of nog is it?
AUSTIN: I think it's a nice goose nog.
KEITH: A goose nog? Oh- I love goose nog!
ART: What do you think nog means?
[Austin laughs]
KEITH: A nog is a type of drink!
AUSTIN: Yeah, listen. She's put some stuff in it! It's like when you get a bloody mary and there's just like, pepperoni in it.
[Keith and Ali laugh]
ART: Oh yeah, it's just one of those milk drinks with goose in it!
AUSTIN: Um-
KEITH: No, listen you can have a lot of types of nog!
ART: Alright, alright- let's just-
AUSTIN: So… you uh… you kind of like have to… she gives you a free drink ticket for tonight's party- this place is bumpin', but like- you get the impression that she has… she knows that it's a disaster outside. In fact, she doesn't offer you iced, a drink of iced goose nog, she says
AUSTIN (as Fisher Lacey): Heated up iced goose nog!
[They laugh]
AUSTIN: She is… she has spun immediately to try and salvage this holiday. She will not let people go home. She's like, she's like- we are GONNA have a good holiday. She is determined.
(overlapped)
ART: She's a crazy mother in law. We are GONNA have a good Christmas!
KEITH: But like, she's doing it well? Not like, where it actually just helps destroy it? Because that always- that usually destroys things.
AUSTIN: So far, it's working. But like, it is only five [o’clock], you know?
[They laugh]
KEITH: It's probably working because it's such a disaster outside, you probably- you can't make it worse.
AUSTIN: Right exactly. It almost- it almost rolls over to be hilarious.
JACK: The goose nog has already boiled over twice.
[They laugh]
AUSTIN: Aw, there's goose bits everywhere.
ART: She is Chevy Chase in 'Christmas Vacation'.
AUSTIN: Exactly.
KEITH: You know what really makes a holiday? Is just- is just the thickest goose nog.
AUSTIN: The thickest goose nog! I hope-I hope all of you out there-
DRE, deadpan: 'The Goose Nog' is my favourite Maximum Fun podcast.
[They all laugh]
AUSTIN: Alright. But as you push her on this, and you say, 'Listen, this Jericho guy… I know he's around here, I know he comes around here...' She's… she like, gives a hearty sigh, and says,
AUSTIN (as Fisher Lacey): Yeah… that boy checked in last night. Late. I-I… I'll go take you to him.
KEITH: Probably just wants the goose nog.
AUSTIN: And she leads you upstairs, to a bedroom. She says,
AUSTIN (as Fisher Lacey): He's a sweet boy. He's just… it's just been a rough year for him, y'all understand, right?
AUSTIN: And he is there. In a bed, sweating. Out of it. He is out of his mind. And-and, probably on something sturdier than halfling green. You can see the dried tracks of tears on his face. And… every few minutes. Every few moments, let's say, you can hear him mumbling 'Bishop'.
ALI: Oh. That's rough.
ART: Hey buddy, did you kill someone recently?
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: You get-
DRE: Whatcha know about murderrr?
AUSTIN: Good question.
ALI: In terms of the...the conversation that I'm having with him before I ask my question, can I ask him a little bit about-
AUSTIN: He is out of it. He will not respond to- he's out of it. (ALI: Okay.) He is gone. You can ask me a question, and we can figure out how you learn it? But like, he is currently a dead end.
ALI: [laughs] Okay.
DRE: Is there anything else in that room?
JACK: Shoot him with the arrow.
AUSTIN: This is a rented room, he doesn't have his- he doesn't even have another pair of clothes here. Like, this is a, 'he stumbled in late last night, she woke up and let him in' situation.
DRE: Gotcha.
ALI: Fair.
AUSTIN: Um, ah- that's not fair. I'm not being fair. I'm realising a thing. He is covered in blood. He has blood on his clothes.
JACK: Austin! You just incriminated this poor man!
AUSTIN: Yeah, well.
ALI: Is this like a, 'can I take your shirt' sort of situation? [laughs]
(overlapped)
KEITH: I-I feel like he's right, I think-
AUSTIN: Yeah, I imagine his clothes and stuff are balled up on the floor, in fact.
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: Or like, his shirt and stuff is balled up on the floor.
(overlapped)
ALI: Okay, that's fair.
AUSTIN: Or his shirt, and outer jacket- you know. So you don't notice he's covered in- he’s not covered in blood. That makes less sense.
ALI: Right.
AUSTIN: Listen, I drop the ball a little bit.
KEITH: You know, I'm pretty sure that-
AUSTIN: Sometimes I drop the ball when it's like 'oh, it's this dude's clothes covered in blood!' You know?
[Ali and Keith laugh]
ALI: Yeah.
KEITH: Things slip- things slip out of minds. It's sometimes- we all make-
AUSTIN: We all make mistakes. Listen.
KEITH: Sometimes we forget where we put our car keys, sometimes we forget who is or isn’t covered in blood.
AUSTIN: Covered in blood. Right.
KEITH: Head to toe.
AUSTIN: I lost my car keys in a printer once! So...
[Everyone laughs]
ART: I remember that.
KEITH: One time I forgot that I was covered in blood! So, it's fine.
AUSTIN: Yeah! Hey, it's fine. We're all even.
ART: It's fine.
DRE: It's fine.
AUSTIN: So what's your question, Hella?
[Ali makes lots of thinking noises]
DRE, whispering: Did he do it?
ALI: UuuuUUUH no! I mean that's- [Keith laughs] I mean the obvious question here is like, whose blood is that?
AUSTIN: That's a hard question to answer.
ALI: Yeah.
ART: Uh-
ART: Well, Hella's a pretty good forensic...pathologist.
[They laugh]
DRE: Now listen- yeah, I was gonna say, are you a CSI?
KEITH: Throndir has a bloodhound over there.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ALI: Wait, could I have taken the dog? And I have the hook, and it's like 'hey, can you smell both of these and like...bark at me?'
DRE (over Ali): Yeah, but you could totally take his clothes and we can do that later.
AUSTIN: You could take his clothes and do that.
ART: The dog was Fero.
[They laugh]
KEITH: Don't- wait no hold on, don't take his clothes, just cut off a bit of his clothes. [Everyone laughs] Like dude needs his clothes, it's cold out.
DRE (over Keith): Nah, take his clothes. Take his clothes, he won't go anywhere! He can always find them later.
[They all laugh more]
AUSTIN: Hey, that's not a bad idea!
KEITH: Dude is- wait hold on, dude is out of it. He'd go somewhere.
[More laughing]
AUSTIN: That's true.
KEITH: He'd like- dude is not in the frame of mind to go like 'I don't have any clothes! I'd be embarrassed!'
DRE: 'Logic says I shouldn't do this, buuuuuuuuuut...'
AUSTIN (at same time as Dre): Buuuuuuuuut,
[PAUSE]
KEITH: Ah, shit fuck!
AUSTIN: Yeah...
DRE: Simmer
(overlapped)
JACK: You okay Keith?
ALI: Cause like, my plan was to go in here and ask him about Lucius?
KEITH: Yeah, I hurt myself!
ALI: But like, if I can't talk to him....
AUSTIN: Right. Yeah, he's out of it. One of those situations...
ALI: Yeah. I can't ask him about the nature of their relationship, or what he would have said.
AUSTIN: You can try, but I don't think there's anything there.
DRE (over Austin): You know, what you could do...
[PAUSE]
DRE: What you could do is maybe...figure out a way to get him to come off of whatever bad trip trip he's in? So we could then question him?
ALI: Can I spend a turn? Can I just be like, hey, can you give this guy some water and some goose nog? Cause I gotta have a conversation-
AUSTIN (over Ali): He's will need something harder- he will need something heavier than water and goose nog.
DRE: That would take a trip to the alchemist probably.
AUSTIN: Yeah, probably. In retrospect, yes.
ALI: Okay.
AUSTIN: So that would take you...two...that would take you until nine, or something.
ALI: Okay.
DRE: Shit.
AUSTIN: Which is doable,
ALI: Hella doesn't have that sort of time.
AUSTIN: It's- that's one-
DRE (over Ali and Austin): Wait wait wait!
ALI: If I'm playing Hella, she's not gonna be like 'yeah, I'm gonna go into this blizzard, over to this place, and then come back.'
DRE: What if we carried him to the alchemist...
AUSTIN: Through the snow?
[Ali laughs]
DRE: He's just a halfling, right?
(overlapped)
KEITH: Listen, Hella- can carry a little crybaby.
AUSTIN: He's not a halfling! I don't know why- why do you keep thinking he's a halfling?
[They laugh]
DRE: Nah, he's a person, he's a-
AUSTIN & KEITH, incredulous: Halflings are people!
[They all laugh more]
KEITH: Oh my god!
DRE: Oh, god, sorry! Sorry.
[More laughter]
KEITH: That happened- that happened yesterday too! It was Austin that did it! Hold on, hold on-
AUSTIN: [makes noises of protest while laughing] To be fair, they're basically called 'half-people'. Basically. [Dissolves into laughter]
KEITH, exasperated: They're basically called that- but they're only called that because there's weird legal things with 'hobbit'. That's the only-
AUSTIN: That's...true.
KEITH: -ling doesn't mean person, though! -ling can just be half...half...
DRE: Art is being a very patient boy with his hand raised. Art, what would you like to add to this conversation?
ALI: Yeah, Art, hello.
ART: I think- I think he was a halfling because his house was really small.
KEITH: I think- I think-
[Everyone protesting]
KEITH: I think it was because he was smoking halfling pipeweed. That's why you think that-
DRE: You just think that people who have lower incomes are halflings, Art? Like that's...when you don't have a lot of money, you live in a smaller area.
AUSTIN, trying not to laugh: His house was small because that...the place he lives in is a shitty place built by this church to encourage people to only ever go to church because their houses are shit! Like...that's why his house is small.
[Ali laughs]
ART: But maybe they're also small!
JACK: It's the ‘work in a starbucks rather than your office’ of housing projects.
DRE: Alright, what do we want to do with Jericho here?
ALI: Yeah, I-
DRE: Well, okay. I guess your question can't particularly pertain to Jericho. Is there anything we can get out of Fisher Lacey?
AUSTIN: That's true.
ART: Or like, is there a murder weapon right there?
KEITH: She was being awfully sweet about how-
AUSTIN (over Keith): You HAVE the murder weapon!
(overlapped)
ART: Is there another murder weapon? Maybe someone else died last night.
DRE: We have TWO of them! We have two of them!
AUSTIN: Oh boy.
KEITH: I think- I think- okay, here's the thing.
DRE: Oh oh oh oh! You should figure out when he came to this place, COVERED in blood.
AUSTIN: Sure.
ALI: Yeah, that was gonna be my question.
AUSTIN: What did we say- when did I say, what did I say was the actual murder? Oh, when did we say we put him- we put him in the-
KEITH (over Austin): Hold on let me look at the clock...2A.
AUSTIN: Right. But then we- then he got put in the field at 2:30?
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: He came back-
DRE: The body was- was there in the field at about 2AM, and the murder happened-
KEITH: At 1:30 AM.
AUSTIN: Right right right. And then it was found at 4. He came in...she said, earlier, late, around three or four. He came here. (DRE: 'kay) So after the murder. It was the middle of the night. She doesn't have a clock, you know? But...ehh, three. They have ways.
ART: Do clocks exist?
AUSTIN: I don't know. I think probably. The archives have clocks.
JACK: Yeah, no- we've definitely- we've definitely made clocks.
KEITH: She probably just knows how much time there was between when she got woken up and when she had to wake up.
AUSTIN: Right. Yeah. Sure.
JACK: Yeah.
KEITH: That's...there we go. She was being awfully nice about this guy that came in covered in blood.
AUSTIN: It was- it was before four. It was definitely before four, she says, because, four o'clock is when the sun rose. And it hadn't risen yet.
ART: Yeah, it was when that girl ran around. (AUSTIN: Yes, yes.) Yeah.
ALI: Okay.
ART: So he has opportunity.
AUSTIN: Yes.
[PAUSE]
JACK: He has an alibi (pronouncing it alee-bee)
AUSTIN: If you don't have a question, that's fine.
JACK (over Austin): No, he doesn't have an alibi
AUSTIN: Like, I know it sucks to blow a question here, but like- there are places on this map that you will get nothing from except a cool little piece of text that I'm gonna hurt inside to not get to share with you cos you didn't go there.
ART (over Austin): Maybe once we- wait, we can just take a little tour of town and you can read us all these little things.
AUSTIN: But like, there isn't clues at some places. Like, some places are just places. So…
[PAUSE, Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: Right. Yeah. I mean, I'll just stitch it together.
KEITH: We might not win! Hold on...we might not win.
[Austin laughs]
AUSTIN: Let's move- all right, let's move.
(overlapping)
KEITH: If there are places we haven’t-...
AUSTIN: You know what, if you can come up with a question- if you can come up with a question before we're done, this turn, I'll let you ask it.
AUSTIN: So Lem and Fero.
KEITH: What's up!
(overlapped)
AUSTIN: Y'all are at the archives, right?
JACK: Archives- right the first-
KEITH: Yeah.
JACK: The first thing about...um...no-
AUSTIN (over Jack): Wait, let me- go- you have to- give me a roll first, and then I'll tell you what's happening there. And then we'll talk about questions and stuff.
JACK: I mean...yeah, no this is even before questions. (AUSTIN: Okay.) There are two orcs at the archives...
AUSTIN: That's on your list, certainly. That's on the census data, that's not...live, up-to-date info. So, give me your roll about the place. And then I'll give you the place info.
[PAUSE]
ART: That's a pretty good cupcake.
[PAUSE]
KEITH: NICE!
DRE: Looks like a good cupcake.
AUSTIN: Whew! Whew.
KEITH: GOOD roll.
AUSTIN: I would eat a cupcake. Did Art just show off his cupcakes?
ALI, laughing: He's licking a box.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: It's frosting! It's frosting, okay.
DRE: Whoa, hey! Hey! Whoa, whoa-
AUSTIN: Listen, I've gotta put that explicit tag on this now!
[Everyone laughs]
AUSTIN: Gee!
KEITH: No no no, I'll bleep it, it's okay. It'll get bleeped.
AUSTIN: He's licking a Ron! Why is he licking a Ron? [More laughing]
ART: Did you just use bleep for bleep?
JACK: So much bleep work. I rolled a 12.
AUSTIN: I saw.
KEITH: Listen, if a thing needs to get bleeped, it gets bleeped. That's my- that is the rule.
AUSTIN: Alright.
[PAUSE]
KEITH: I’ll bleep whatever I wanna. Do. It for. I'll bleep out that whole sentence, and that can not get out!
AUSTIN: So...so the old-the new archives actually moved here a while ago. Probably a couple hundred years ago? A couple hundred years ago? And this used to be, at one time, deep in the distant past, the Velasian library. And they kind of took it over. And in the snow, it's one of the few buildings that it kind of feels at place, right? Like, it's...it's nestled tightly in between some other buildings, and it's very squared off, and it has nice rounded, like bay windows up front. And it just- it feels strong, it feels like it can take this weather.
Inside it's this...again, beautiful old library and it probably- it's up to you, how you feel about it, but it makes sense to sting a little, to think that for all of the people in Velas, none of them have access to this information, right? (JACK: Yeah.) No one can just- this isn't a public library anymore. This is like- and it's not even- this stuff isn't even important enough to go back to the actual main base of the new archives. Right? Like, most of it is duplicate material. Most of it is local stuff that the new archivists either have their own copies of, or only need on rare occasions, so they call out for it, and it gets shipped in. And the other thing is that this is like a midpoint between places to the southwest, or stuff coming in from Ordenna, or whatever, stopping here before going on to the new archives' base.
So, that's like the general impression you get. When you show up, only Morbash is there. Elgash Or, (JACK: Oh dear.) the other Archivist is not here. Um...And in fact, Morbash tells you, he's only back because he heard you were back in town, Lem. He...is...assertive. And he requests that the second you are done your business with the Golden Lance, that you and he have a sit-down.
DRE: Little chitty-chat.
KEITH: Better than a stand-up swords-out.
[Austin laughs]
AUSTIN: There is a deferred threat in his voice. Not to say, 'if you come sit down with me, I'll kill you', but to say 'if you don't, I will find you and there will be no second chances'.
JACK, nervously: Okay.
ALI: This is a real Les Mis kinda situation.
DRE, nervously: Hey...hey buddy! Still...still wanna stab me, or uh...
JACK: Mmhmm. Cool.
AUSTIN: He...upon hearing word that the archives might be tied up in this mess, he seems surprised. He has not spoken to anybody here. Like in the town. He doesn't have any ties to Lucius, or to politicians, or to snow elves, or to Ordenna. He is here to do a job, and that job is a manhunt. [He laughs] As a fellow manhunter, he respects the Lance, if only barely, enough to not take you in right now. That said, he says, if an artefact was acquired by Archivist Elgash, it will remain in Archive hands. All deals are final.
[PAUSE, Jack laughs]
AUSTIN: He also tells you that if you're looking for the other archivist, he left here this morning in a rush. You know that the chances are, he hasn't been able to escape the Golden Lance's net that they've kind of set up around the perimeter of the city, but that doesn't mean that he's like-he hasn't been captured by them or anything, you've not received word that they've caught an orc archivist. But you don't know, at this point, where he is. He does, you push a little bit, give you access to Elgash Or's room. The book isn't there, or anything, but you do find among his, on his desk, a stack of letters to a bunch of different people. One of the letters is from Michaud, the captain of The Sweet Fragments, who it seems worked as a sort of a contract agent for the New Archive, here and there throughout his career as a ship captain. You have questions.
JACK: Um-
DRE: That's the same- that's the same ship that we found a model of in Jericho's room.
AUSTIN: Yes. It is.
JACK: Does...uh, Morbash recognise Michaud's name at all? Is he the one who gives the information that he worked as a contractor?
AUSTIN: No no no, this is all just- you put this together through his...(JACK: Okay.) you get let into Elgash Or's room as a way of respect- as a way of showing respect to the Golden Lance.
JACK: To the Lance. Okay.
AUSTIN: But, but...yeah. Morbash doesn't know- doesn't seem to know from...from...what's the word I'm looking for- how's that saying go? Doesn't know from blah? That's a saying.
KEITH: Anything?
JACK: Samot.
AUSTIN: Doesn't know from Samot. Right. That's the old saying. Doesn't know from Samot who Michaud is, or who Elgash talks to in town, or any of that. Elgash is very much the local boy, you know? (JACK: Yeah.) He's been here his whole life, basically. Like, this was his job, he got assigned this when he was in his orc twenties, whatever those are. And he's made a life for himself.
JACK: I think twenties?
AUSTIN: Yeah. Okay.
[Austin and Keith laugh]
KEITH: Well, I mean he's still an orc. So his orc twenties.
AUSTIN: Right.
JACK: Um, okay. So in terms of questions here, I get two?
AUSTIN: You each get one.
JACK: We each get one question. Okay.
AUSTIN: And again, this is a question about- this is you, the player, asking me the question about a fact that your character will learn. It isn't your character asking a question.
KEITH: Right.
JACK: Okay.
AUSTIN: Remember? So it can be-
JACK: Can my character also ask a question? Or is the time for that...committed.
AUSTIN: I don't know that- I think we're running low on time for that.
JACK: Yeah yeah yeah.
AUSTIN: In terms of-
KEITH: It's also just like, Morbash doesn't know much.
AUSTIN: Morbash is also just [INAUDIBLE]
KEITH: He doesn't know from Samot.
JACK: I was just curious about the- if he recognised the weapon, or it's material. But um...
AUSTIN: Oh do you have that? With you?
JACK: Yeah.
KEITH: Yeah, Jack's character took that.
AUSTIN: That would be a question. That would be your question. That's like a detail about the case question. Do you know what I mean?
JACK: Yeah. I kind of feel that since we're talking to an archivist who specialises in like, object collection, it might be a good idea? How do you feel about that Keith?
AUSTIN (over Jack): Sure. Yeah, absolutely.
KEITH: I feel good about it. Go for it.
AUSTIN: Sure. He-he takes in his hand, and like hefts it a little bit, and like shifts it. And then he takes...he like holds up his hand for a second, and then goes over to a desk and like, moves through some stuff, puts it down on a piece of parchment paper, and then sprinkles a bit of dust on it? And the dust like, sizzles on it. And he says
JACK (over Austin): Alright, so-
AUSTIN (as Morbash): Ah, Ordennan steel. [PAUSE, Jack sighs] They probably used this to hunt one of the big beasts of the sea. Something...not quite natural. As you know, Ordennan steel is the perfect weapon for going against anything magical. Negates the mage, or the creature's ability to defend itself.
JACK (as Lem): Okay. Great. Thank you. That's useful.
AUSTIN (as Morbash): Very interesting.
AUSTIN: He looks at you...he gives it back to you and he looks at you with like [PAUSE] the slightest bit of pride.
KEITH: Aww.
AUSTIN (as Morbash): Maybe you will make something from yourself one day, King.
ALI: Awwww
AUSTIN: And he like, walks away a bit.
JACK (as Lem): Ah, thanks.
JACK: Lem's just like, blushing.
[They laugh]
AUSTIN: Fero, what's your question?
DRE: I want to see a blushy orc.
[More laughter]
AUSTIN: Lem is the blushiest orc.
JACK: Yeah.
[More laughter]
KEITH: In the same way that he's the only- he's the only bard, he's also the only blushing orc.
AUSTIN: Yes. Yes. That's his prestige- his prestige class is blushing orc.
JACK: That's his prestige feat.
AUSTIN: Fero, what's your question?
KEITH: He- um. Okay. My...question is...um...[PAUSE] Where- can- what's the other orc's name?
AUSTIN: Elgash Or.
KEITH: Where has he gone from here? Which direction has he tried to leave the city in?
AUSTIN: Based on...based on what you know, [sighs] okay. You dig through enough of the-
KEITH: There was a bunch of letters...
AUSTIN: Yeah. You dig through all that- those letters and stuff, and you realise that he and Michaud are not just contract like, this isn't just like an employee situation, this is like a great deal of respect, and camaraderie. They've gone out together on requisition hunts, they've gone out together- you know. They've lived- they kind of came up together. They're of the same generation. Right? In a lot of ways, this has been a story about different generations inside of Velas, and they're from the same generation. They're the generation above- they're of the generation of Lucius and Robel. They're the generation above Jericho. Right? So...they...you think he went there. You're confident he went there.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: Like, if there was someone he was going to turn to in this town, for help? It would be him.
KEITH: Got it.
[PAUSE]
AUSTIN: Alright. Hella do you have a question?
ALI: Um, yeah. I was gonna ask if uh...the proprietor had noticed anything like, different about Jericho within the last week or so? If he like...was he in better moods than usual, or like...was he even more depressed, or anxious, that sort of thing.
AUSTIN: She tells you that it's surprising. Because- his turn is surprising, because in the last week...she thought it was the holiday. He'd been...he'd been in better spirits. He'd seemed hopeful for the first time since the accident.
[Art sighs and blows a raspberry]
AUSTIN: Alright, new move.
[PAUSE]
KEITH: I wanna...I wanna follow up on this- this orc boy - ship captain.
JACK: That seems-
DRE: So you wanna go to see Michaud? Which is in the Velasian approach?
KEITH: Yeah.
JACK: That seems to me like it could potentially kill two birds with one stone, if we make this turn a push towards understanding the Ordennan connection a little better. Because on the one hand we have uh... the Ordennan-the Mitta, the lovers, the prince plotline, and here we have Michaud with an Ordennan steel thing. Which we know, you know, is used to hunt the um, hunt beasts, but at the same time which might- ah it's a connection that we haven't seen before.
DRE: I am wondering if...maybe Jericho used to serve on this ship, or something like that? He's tied to this ship somehow. He's got a model of it in his room.
JACK: Maybe it's tied to the accident.
AUSTIN: He has a broken model of it in his room.
JACK: Then it's definitely tied to the accident.
ART: I thought it was a model- oh, nevermind. [Ali laughs] I clearly misunderstood that description. I thought it was like, a purposefully broken like, like it was a model of a broken ship? (AUSTIN: Oh!) Not a broken model of a ship.
AUSTIN: No. No.
ALI: Almost like an art piece, is what you thought? [Laughs]
AUSTIN: No. No.
ART: Okay.
AUSTIN: It isn't like an action figure with like battle damage, no. [Laughs]
ART (over Austin): It's confusing because we're talking about-
ART: It's the broken ship called 'The Fragments'. Like, yeah, that's- there's a lot of like, broken-ness going on that makes it...
AUSTIN: Yeah
[PAUSE]
DRE: Um...yeah, I mean do we wanna try and take Jericho to the alchemist to see if we can get him ship-shape?
ART: Uh...no that's gonna take forever, who cares. He's gonna be fine. He'll sleep it off.
ALI: Hm...yeah I mean I believe in my ability to carry him, but like yeah.
ART: You don't want to do it, right?
ALI: I-I [sighs] I don't- we can [sighs] I feel like we can talk to him, but like...what are we gonna get?
ART (over Ali): I mean, maybe he did it.
AUSTIN: Mm-hm.
ART: And if we- if you can rouse him, I bet- I don't know, every time I use 'I am the law' it doesn't fuckin' work.
DRE (over Art): I don't know man, I feel like-
AUSTIN: Let's-
KEITH: Well- [Ali laughs]
(overlapped)
KEITH: But-, wait, but wait, but now it could work no matter what.
DRE: I could shoot him with an arrow!
ART: It worked, but one of the ways that it could work is not working.
JACK: No, oh my god! How many times-
ART: Two of the three ways it could work is 'Well, they just didn't do it.'
KEITH: Okay, so here's- this is something I said last session. Which is that- some- that rat boy tried to poison- rat boy- he DID poison Greggy. And then...Jericho accidentally killed him, and then the fwoof? And I'm still on that. I'm still on that. That's still where I am. Which sounds ridiculous...
[everyone laughs]
DRE: What if...okay, what if- what if, (KEITH: Yeah?) that he went to...he went to poison this guy. Fish- rat man went to poison Greggy. (KEITH: Yeah.) At the same time, Jericho, maybe his form of absolution was stealing the book, because Lucius knows about the book from Art.
(overlapped)
KEITH: Wasn't he also wary- wary of it or jealous of it?
DRE: So Jericho was- hold on, hold on hold on hold on.
DRE: Maybe, I don't remember that far back. [someone snorts] So Lucius goes to get this book from Greggy, at the same time that...the guy tries to steal the book? Struggle ensues, Greggy cuts up- or Greggy gets cut up, and rat boy makes away with the book during the scuffle? I don't know, man.
[Ali laughs]
ALI: What- who are the names of the people that we want to talk to?
[Pause, typing]
(overlapped)
JACK: Er...Elgash Or will be-
DRE: I think Michaud is definitely on that list.
JACK: Michaud, Elgash Or, possibly the Ordennan ambass- no no no no, um...Kobel? What's his name? Robel.
AUSTIN: Robel, yeah. Robel. Lucas Robel.
DRE: Robel is on that list, yeah.
AUSTIN: The Ordennans might also feed into that, it's fair to wonder.
DRE: Yeah. We've also not talked to anyone in the Garden District yet.
AUSTIN: That's true.
[PAUSE]
JACK: Um...
AUSTIN: Which is fine. I'm not-
ART: What if, what about the...what about the ship? The Sapphire Song?
JACK: I mean...it's a ship.
ART: Someone on that ship might know about other ships. They might know the dockworker Jericho. Who may or may not be a halfling, there's really no way to know.
[Keith and Ali laugh]
AUSTIN: That ship- [laughs] who even knows? Yeah, it's a mystery.
JACK: Is that ship a temple? (AUSTIN: Uh...) An Ordennan temple?
AUSTIN: No...?
JACK: Or is that another one?
AUSTIN: An Ordennan temple?
[PAUSE]
JACK: ...yeah?
AUSTIN: No, no.
ALI: No it's just a really nice ship.
AUSTIN: It's a war ship.
[PAUSE]
JACK: [laughs] Okay.
AUSTIN: Which is not a temple. [Ali laughs, makes uncertain noises] You can see now why I thought-
ART: I don't know, there's something I didn't understand about Ordennan society, [inaudible]
AUSTIN (over Art): That's really interesting! Is that a thing you wanna- is that, are you proposing [in a low voice] Are you proposing that's a new fact about this world?
JACK: I don't-I mean, I think that's Ali's call. I don't know much about Ordennan...uh, religion.
AUSTIN: The thing here says Ordennan warship. So that's...that's what it is. My thing starts by talking about how the men on it are hard like the cannons. Like, that's-
[Everyone snorts and laughs]
AUSTIN, indignant: You know!
ART: Aaah, that sounds like you're talking about penises!
ALI, laughing: Yeah!
AUSTIN: You know, listen!
ALI: Cannons are very hard.
AUSTIN: I'm sorry, I say the men AND the women, thank you.
KEITH: Hey let's just talk about some penises.
AUSTIN: Yeah, why don't we just have some penis talk? Happy holidays everybody
KEITH: They're as hard as cannons, what are they as long as?
DRE: RIGHT. Throndir wants to go talk to (AUSTIN: It's like a temple.) the uh...that guy in the Garden District. Lucas. He wants to go talk to Lucas.
AUSTIN: Lucas Robel. Okay. Move yourself there.
DRE: Where...which...where is that? Hold on.
AUSTIN: Uh...you might, actually, that's a good question. Where is he, actually?
ART: Well, North Beach is his thing.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Um, I'm gonna give you info as you pass through the gates, basically? Here? That will maybe make you not go to the North Beach.
DRE: Okay.
AUSTIN: Which is...[PAUSE] as you...as you go through Spearfish Street, which is that big street going through the thoroughfare of the Fish District, you see the Garden Gates. Which are you know, they're intricate metal lattice work, they're ornate and they're beautiful, and they're also tossed to the ground at this point.
ALI: Oh.
AUSTIN: Any gate will break with enough pressure, and the pressure in Velas has been boiling for a long time. The people who were partying in that parade when the snow hit? Lots of them lived in the Nets down in the Sun District, right? Those are the normalest normal folk. Those are the hardest working working class folk, who got the day off. (DRE: Sure.) And they've been upset about their situation for a hot minute. So, when they're up here and the first thing-
KEITH: Is that a long minute or a short minute?
AUSTIN: That's a long minute. Hot minute is a long minute. Uh...when the nobles saw the snow falling, the first thing that they did was shut the gates. Which is NOT a thing you're supposed to do on this holiday. One of the whole things is, the Garden District is open for everybody! Upon seeing it closed, many of the revellers threw them down and streamed into the Garden District. At first, maybe with some plan, some loose hope of changing things in town. But quickly, as the blizzard hit, it was just, 'where can we go that's warm?'
KEITH: I'm surprised that Austin Walker wrote something about a needless revolution.
[Jack laughs]
AUSTIN: Yeah, weird. I don't- listen. Maybe not needless so much as- as- fruitless.
KEITH (over Austin): Not needless, uh- ineffective is what I meant. Yeah, fruitless.
AUSTIN: So, it's clear at this point, that the places where people will be, and I'm sacrificing REALLY good stuff I wrote about the place you want to go here, but I want to see you go to a cool place with people....if you're looking for- it seems absurd to me that you would go through this space looking for people and go to the beach at this point. Is what I'm saying. It's so clear that they fled those spaces. Two places where there are buildings. And there are buildings throughout the Garden District. There are buildings at the Grand Veranda. There are buildings- in fact, so there's buildings at the Grand Veranda, there's buildings at the...Sunset Plaza? I think? No. Not at Sunset Plaza. Uh...yes. Also at Sunset Plaza...um....and at...
DRE: Severea Hall?
AUSTIN: Obviously Severea Hall, is where the most people have gathered. Which is the centre of Velasian politics.
ART: And that boat, right?
AUSTIN: That boat is obviously a place too, and the Southern Gardens has a couple of little homes in it. Like a couple of little places there.
DRE: Man, shoulda asked Lucius where to find this guy.
AUSTIN: Yeah, well he wouldn't have known, right?
DRE: Lucius probably wouldn't have known either. Yeah.
AUSTIN: Yeah, exactly.
DRE: Um...I guess I'll try Severea Hall? Because he's like...he's a politician? (AUSTIN: Mmhm.) That's his thing, right?
[PAUSE]
ART: Does anyone wanna chase this...this boat thing with me? (ALI: Are-) Or does anyone wanna talk me out of this boat thing?
[Ali laughs]
DRE: Are you going to the Ordennan boat? The Sapphire?
ALI: Yeah, wait, which boat?
ART: Yeah.
ALI: Yeah, I'll go with you.
ART: To see,to see-
AUSTIN: Okay.
DRE: Aw, yeah! Hadrian and Hella, rollin' together! Strong boys gang! Muscle!
AUSTIN, excited: Yeah! Strong boys gang!
ART: Strong boys gang.
ALI, chanting: BFFs! BFFs!
ART: I hope this is where the fight scene is.
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: Yeah this is it. By the way, get out your character sheets. We're gonna have a six hour fight scene!
[Everyone laughs]
ART: It won't be that long with the two of us.
DRE: You can sleep the whole time, Jack.
JACK: We'll finish as the sun is rising at 9am.
AUSTIN, laughing: Okay.
ART: Is that when the sun rises there? Where are you?
AUSTIN: Velas.
JACK: Antarctica.
AUSTIN: Hadrian I'm also gonna move here.
JACK: Um, hey Fero. (KEITH: Yes.) Wanna go check out Michaud with me? I just wanna get away from all these big orc.
KEITH: Mmhmm. All of these Big Orc.
DRE: All these orcs.
KEITH: Well. There's maybe that one other orc, though, over there.
JACK: Well but he's not Morbash, so.
KEITH: [laughs] That's true.
JACK: Um...what about...so where is to? He's at Velasian approach?
AUSTIN: Yeah, he's in...E3.
JACK: Mmhm. He's showing off those hot triple A games...
DRE: Aw man, he's at E3? Aw, yeah!
AUSTIN, laughing: Sony just brought him onstage to show off his new indie project, actually.
KEITH (over Austin): He's just there as a vendor.
AUSTIN: Okay.
[PAUSE]
DRE: We're very excited!
AUSTIN: I'm gonna start with Throndir [laughs] and I'm gonna, I'm gonna start by reading the North Beach stuff, which you can see somehow while walking. I'm gonna give you this North Beach stuff because I like it! (DRE: Sure, sure.) And 'cause we have all this time, so!
[Jack laughs]
ART: One of those high visibility blizzards where you can see a lot of stuff.
(overlapped)
AUSTIN: This is actually maybe one of those things that you can see.
DRE: It is now five it's now five pm, right?
KEITH: Throndir is used to the snow, sure.
AUSTIN: Uh, no. It is now seven pm.
DRE: Seven.
KEITH: Shit. How many more moves do we have?
JACK, DRE, & ART: Two.
AUSTIN: Seven, nine, eleven. This is- two more after this move.
KEITH: Gah, that's not a lot.
AUSTIN: No.
KEITH: Also, we've only done one move? What the fuck is wrong with us?
AUSTIN: Yeah, let's hustle. You can only imagine, Throndir, what that beach looked like in the morning. There must have been these strange, beautiful kites flying in the sky, catching the sun in their translucent fabric, casting images onto the sand below. Now, the thing that was cast down in the sand below is the kites themselves. Most of them, anyway. They've buckled under the blizzard's winds and have driven themselves into the ground. A couple of them have, so far, resisted the assault, and from where you stand, about to go in to Severea Hall,you can still see them there in the sky. A shield, and a cup, dancing through the storm.
Severea Hall is a massive structure that predates the rise of the old Empire of Five Divines. And its name, referencing a sea goddess of old, proves it. Today it's covered in strange mirrored globes which catch the sunlight, even in this storm, and look like floating orbs of light. And they serve as guidance to the hall. Not just for you, but to others who are seeking shelter. The paraders, which had been meandering in the Fish District, sought shelter here when the strange white filled the sky. And as I explained, since many of them lived in the Nets of the Sun District, they fled northwest towards the closer safety of the Garden District.
It is uncomfortable in this building. In fact, I will say first of all, that the whole district is uncomfortable. You might think that the Garden District would be more beautiful under layers of snow, but it's just...wrong. This place is always so gleaming already, that you know. Under the white skies and under the snow, that reflects...what was once beautiful, what was once gorgeous, it reveals it to be gaush. Gaush? Gauche. Gosh. Gauche?
ART: Gauche.
KEITH: Middle one.
AUSTIN: What was once impressive (KEITH: GAUSH!) about this space is now petty. It's frightening, you realise, that such a small place could be given such importance. Inside of Severea Hall, though, it is packed with people. It is filled from front to back with the masses of people who have gone there for safety. And it's strange, because once this place WAS filled. And it's important that you're here, I think Throndir, because this is a thing that Kindrali can give you.
Visions of this place filled, deep in the past, from front to back with those who worshipped Severea, Goddess of the Sea, who as I told you at the start of the last game when I went over the days, Severea was then called um...Samonta, who blows the wind into our sails, so that we may trade our work.
KEITH: I swear to god I thought you were gonna say 'blows the wind into our faces'.
AUSTIN: Blows the wind, right into our faces!
KEITH, laughing: But like, a jerk. Like a jerk would do.
AUSTIN: Give me...give me a roll, Dre.
[PAUSE]
DRE: Sure. I guess it's just 2d6.
AUSTIN: Just 2d6. Just you.
DRE: Solo. Eight.
AUSTIN: Alright. So. Back then, people had packed in here, and it was...it was comfortable back then, 'cause it was a religious thing. It was like, people were here, they were worshipping this goddess of the sea...and then for so long, since the time of the Erasure, maybe even before the time of the Erasure, it became a place for Velas' powerful to mingle and to mock, to barter and to banter, and most of all to laze around. But today, packed again, it's...wrong. It's like eating too big of a meal after a long fast. This space has been trained carefully over hundreds, maybe thousands of years to be sparse. And...there are many nervous nobles here because of that. They look scared for their lives that they're in the same room as people from the Sun District. Which is ridiculous, given the size of the city. Like, it's big for the post-post-apocalypse, but it's not a metropolis. In one- in the time before the Erasure, as someone from the Garden District, chances were you were gonna meet people from the Sun District all the time. It was a big city. But now, you have the social divide, but you don't have the population in the same way. So it's easy for the people in the Garden District to shelter themselves here.
But, one person doesn't look out of place as much. He's a balding, tan human, about 5'8'', and who looks comfortable among these people. That's because it's Lucas. Lucas Robel. He's kind of among his own people. Representative Robel was born and raised in the Sun District, he proudly represents his people- hard workers, all of them- but, as you question him, he explains that he fears that he's betrayed them. That this is all his fault. He begged Samothes, he said, to make his son happy. His son, the lover of the Ordennan merchant prince. Mining prince? He's a prince of some family of note because of their wealth, not because of their royal status. Though I think in Ordenna there might be some confluence there. He begged Samothes to make his son happy, because it was he and his wife who framed their son. Or, not their son, but the Ordennan prince, and put him in jail. Because of the- because of the scandalous affair. Um, and he prayed to Samothes, begging him, saying 'if you can just make my son happy again, you can take the warmth from my heart.' And he fears that Samothes is perhaps more metaphorical than he gave the sun god credit for.
JACK: Wait, so this guy framed the prince?
AUSTIN: Yes.
JACK: To avoid the scandal. Okay. Slime baby.
KEITH: What a slime baby.
AUSTIN: Big ol' slime baby.
DRE: Seriously.
[PAUSE]
AUSTIN: He also- he also tells you, this is from getting a- what did you get? Oh, you got an eight. No. I don't give you anything else.
DRE: Shit!
AUSTIN: What's your question? [Laughs] It's this close!
KEITH: His question is 'can I get two more points on that roll?!'
DRE: Yeah, yeah. Um...
AUSTIN: If you have a good question, you'll get this info.
[PAUSE]
DRE: What is his...relationship with Prelate Lucius, Mitta, and the breakout attempt?
AUSTIN: Uh-
KEITH: That's about three questions.
AUSTIN: He...doesn't know anything about Mitta. He...he thinks that the breakout attempt-
DRE: Lucius told me to come talk to him to get the full story on the breakout.
AUSTIN: Right right right, yes. Yeah yeah yeah. He doesn't know anything about Mitta. But, he met and prayed with Prelate Lucius, who has been a constant friend and companion throughout his long life. They again came up in the same generation, and...he begged Samothes through Lucius to free Therat Saal from prison. And Lucius promised him that Samothes would hear his pain and his anguish.
JACK: Oh! Oh man.
DRE: Oh, jesus. Okay.
AUSTIN: He's desperate to speak to Lucius again, and desperate to understand, because now he feels like everything that's happened today is on his head. That somehow this is the way that Samothes works. (ALI: Aw!) That Samothes gave his son's lover freedom, and in exchange has put Velas under snow. And under ice.
DRE: So he directly says that Lucius promised him that the prince would be freed.
AUSTIN: Yes. That Samothes would free him, is what Lucius said.
JACK: At which point Lucius went and hired Mitta.
AUSTIN: That's what you're- yes. Based on the question you gave me? Yes, that's what you think. That's true. That's what happened. That's the picture that you can put together. And based on what you heard, you heard Lucius basically talk about his sin.
JACK: Samothes here acting through the arm of a snow elf.
AUSTIN: Right, right.
[PAUSE]
DRE: What- maybe this is a red herring!
[PAUSE]
JACK: I mean, Austin's written a detective story, so there's gotta be at least one red herring.
[Ali laughs]
DRE: Yeah...
JACK: Austin, tell me straight. Was it the ferrets?
[Keith laughs]
AUSTIN, dramatically: They're everywhere. And they're so quiet.
KEITH: Jack, what don't you like about Ferrets?
[Eve’s Light Parade STARTS PLAYING]
JACK: [laughs] Alright. Whose turn is it next?
[Ali laughs]
[PAUSE]
AUSTIN, dramatically: The ferrets! The ferrets are everywhere, and nowhere at once. They move so quickly, [everyone giggles] so quietly. They're barely noticeable- okay. [MUSIC CUTS OFF ABRUPTLY] Um,
JACK: You've gotta edit that.
AUSTIN: Yeah, Keith, you've gotta drop that in.
KEITH: That's fine, don't worry about it.
AUSTIN: This is fun, I get why people do this. Who's next? Let's save- let's do the ship. Let's do the ship, and bounce-
DRE (over Austin): Uuughh I feel like I wasted a turn.
AUSTIN: Ehh, you got some confirmation on some stuff. Again, at the end of this game, I'm gonna ask a bunch of questions. So, being able to answer a lot of them will be good. Um...
DRE, downtrodden: Yeah.
ART: Says you! You’ve been trying to trick us the whole time!
AUSTIN: Hella and Hadrian- that's also true. Hella and Hadrian-
KEITH: The only way to win is not to play!
ART: Yeah, let's all just leave!
[They laugh]
AUSTIN: Yeah, throw your badges down- oh no! You can't see! Art just put his headset down, he's gone! He left!
[Everyone but Art laughs]
JACK: Keith just fell off his chair. Ah, the ferrets are everywhere. This is a disaster.
AUSTIN: Alright. The Sapphire Song is- you row out to it-
KEITH: If you guys didn't notice me falling over in my chair, I'm gonna be so mad.
ART: I noticed, and I wasn't even on camera.
AUSTIN: You're rowing out to him in a small boat, and under these conditions it's hard to get there. I thought about saying like, 'nah it's gone now,' but I kind of like this strange thing, which is...right, yes- this warship is imposing. Ordennan warships are already imposing, and this one is all the more imposing sitting in the snow, the winter waves unable to shake it. In fact, it strangely feels, as you approach it, as if the waters are stiller around it. You approach waving this-
ART: You got magic over there Ali- Hella?
[Ali laughs, Art sighs]
AUSTIN: Nah they got boats that are literally the opposite of that. Keep that in mind.
ALI: Yeah. Yeeeeah.
AUSTIN: You approach, waving the symbol of the Golden Lance, and are let aboard. You meet with the captain, Stornras Glasseye, who- [They all laugh] It's a great name. It's a great name. It's another Jack exclusive. [In deep TV ad voice] Exclusive!
DRE: [In deep TV ad voice] Exclusive!
ART: Jacksclusive!
JACK: I'm available for freelance name coming up with...
DRE: [In deep TV ad voice] Jack De Quidt: NPC of the week!
JACK: Gamespot.com.
AUSTIN: He...how are you- he-ah, for the sake of time- I would love to get deep into all of these exchanges. This is the problem with this game [Ali giggles] I have to just glass over a bunch of- not glass over, skim over a bunch of this stuff. But, I'm gonna say that Hella, you've probably dealt with this dude before. He is kind of a hotshot in the Ordennan Navy. He's won some key skirmishes against bandits and pirates, he's you know, won whatever little border skirmishes that exist in this world, and has generally been- he's like, a top strong boy for Ordenna. You and he have some kind of similar reputations for getting shit done.
Which is why he's here, he explains. He's here to put some quote-unquote “political” pressure on the Velasian nobles, so that they'll enter into productive- productive alliance with Ordenna. It's very clear that what he's doing here is some old-school gunboat diplomacy. [Ali laughs] Notably, he's in a boat with a lot of guns on it, pointed at Velas. [Dre laughs] Part of him, he admits to you, wants to just pull the trigger right now. He has a ship filled with soldiers ready to go. He could take that palace in a minute. A short minute. Gimme a roll.
KEITH: A cold minute.
JACK: Is this a roll for the Or- the
AUSTIN: No this is just a regular- this is-
ART: This is a roll for- Hella, you wanna do that? Cause this is for your -
AUSTIN: This is a roll I should have made- I should have had you make earlier.
[PAUSE]
ART: Ali you wanna do that? Cause this is-
ALI: Yeah. Oh no! Don't wanna do that! [She and Keith laugh hysterically]
AUSTIN: Yep! Okay! That's what you know! There's more here on my screen!
ALI: Oh, wait, but it's plus one, so it's a four!
AUSTIN: Take uh...I'm gonna give Ali XP! Let's see down here, Hella gets one XP.
ART: Uhh it says here second? Is this your second XP that you've got?
AUSTIN: I think this is her first. This is her first failure.
(overlapped)
ALI: Yeah, this is the only one.
JACK: And the Ordennan invasion of Velas begins.
KEITH: I think it's been- I think it's been me, Art, and Ali that have got one.
AUSTIN: That's correct.
ART: How dare you investigate us this poorly! I won't stand for this, it's war time!
AUSTIN: Oh, there's more here. Ugh.
ALI: Nah we're pals, it's fine.
AUSTIN: That's okay.
ALI: It's fine.
AUSTIN: Alright! Let's head back over-
(overlapped)
JACK: I mean, Ali, wait, hang on, Ali- Ali- you could just stay.
KEITH: Well, hold on, there's that thing where you can stay a second time.
AUSTIN: There is. You could!
ART: Wait, don't we still get questions?
AUSTIN: No! That's a 7-9 thing, dog!
ALI: Ohhh....awww. [Laughs]
ART: I'd like to ask-
AUSTIN: Too bad! Fero and Lem.
KEITH: If you stay...if you stay an extra turn, is that an automatic ten, or-
AUSTIN: Yeah, sure. Sure. Absolutely.
KEITH: Alright.
JACK: Lemme do a roll.
ALI: What-mmmm.
AUSTIN: You can decide at the end of this turn. You know.
[PAUSE]
ART: Are you guys just gonna be like 'hey, you know that halfling?'
AUSTIN: Ugh, WOOF.
KEITH: Wait, so it's me- it's me and Lem?
DRE: Oh, god! We were doing so well!
AUSTIN: You were doing so well! You were doing real well!
JACK: Do I get XP for that Austin?
AUSTIN: Yeah, go ahead. I'm gonna write that down right now! Write down Lem...
DRE (over Austin): Can Keith roll aid or assist?
AUSTIN: Nope.
KEITH: I shoulda rolled.[Austin laughs really hard] That roll shoulda been me.
AUSTIN: That's now how-
KEITH: See? Seven. Plus one? Eight. That's what it shoulda been.
AUSTIN: This is the problem with splitting up, you know?
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: This is the cost-
KEITH: No, we didn't split up, we're together!
AUSTIN: No, but if you had one more person there, that six would have been a seven.
JACK: Can we do aid and interfere, please?
AUSTIN, gleefully: No! You can't! [Ali laughs] On this special roll!
ALI: I have...I have an ability that lets everybody reroll once.
AUSTIN: Isn't that in combat?
ALI: Eeeehhh....
(overlapped)
KEITH: I don't it is!
JACK: Well it is-
AUSTIN: Unless you're escalating this as combat.
DRE: This is combat of the mind, Austin.
KEITH: The Lance- the Lance messenger carried over her power to us.
AUSTIN: Here's what you get. Here's what you get. There are, on the Velasian approach, a handful of homes, now covered in snow. The fields, also as you head back outside the city walls, is just- this is bad. I don't know if you've forgotten this, but the harvest comes after Sunday. After the day of High Sun. After the long day.
JACK: Oh man, yeah.
AUSTIN: So now, what you have, is a bunch of like, flash frozen wheat. And other crops. So that's bad.
JACK: Wheat nog?
[Keith laughs]
AUSTIN: That's a- man, yeah. That's the best you'll get.
KEITH: Viscous, viscous wheat nog.
AUSTIN: One of the homes on the approach is a sort of noble thing. Not in terms of its regality, it doesn't belong in the Garden District, but noble in the kind of old-school, you worked hard for it, sense. It earned its nobility in its well-laid wood, in its careful detail. It shows sign of recent craftwork. This is a house of a recent generation. This isn't an old home that someone has moved into-
KEITH: You're talking west end.
AUSTIN: -and patched up. Right. Inside you find Michaud, an old sea captain if ever there was one, smoking a pipe, sitting in his front room.
AUSTIN (as Michaud): I've been waiting for ya,
AUSTIN: He says. He stands up.
AUSTIN (as Michaud): I ain't seen nothin'. I was asleep when it happened. I don't go in for all this sun nonsense. I especially don't lose sleep over it. In the end, sleeps' all a man's got to himself.
AUSTIN: After some questioning, he does admit that Jericho was an old fisher for him. (KEITH, quietly: Yes!) And...that...they went after a big fish once. And sure, maybe they had some sort of special hooks. He didn't do- he wasn't the man who- he captained the boat. He let those decisions be made by Jericho and- what's the other dude's name? Uh...da-da-da...Lael. Lael Rankine, who...who ah, they were the folks who picked out the hooks. He had a boat to run. But now he's retired, and the boat's at the bottom of the sea. And that's all he has to share with you.
[PAUSE]
JACK: Great. Great and good.
AUSTIN: Great and good! All these misses!
ALI: This wasn't great boat talk.
AUSTIN: No!
[PAUSE]
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: Boat party!
ART: Boat party!
KEITH: I miss Calhoun.
[Ali whimpers sadly]
AUSTIN: I wonder what Calhoun's up to.
ALI: I know!
KEITH: If he's up to anything.
AUSTIN: Well...
DRE: Whoa, hey! Spoilers!
AUSTIN: Alright. Next turn...that was a fast turn!
ART: This is the penultimate turn? This was a real bad turn. We gotta have a good turn. Everyone roll better.
AUSTIN: That was a rough turn.
JACK (over Austin): Austin, please- please- okay, I'm sitting next to a piano. If I write the Happy Song, can the snow melt please?
[Everyone laughs]
AUSTIN: You're not a real bard!
[Jack laughs]
JACK: Who, Lem or me?
AUSTIN: Yeah...
DRE: Let's quickly review what we- what we got from our past couple of turns. We've tied Jericho to that ship, we know he has experience and access to fancy magical hooks. Do we- do we feel comfortable saying the prison break is a red herring?
ART: I'm comfortable saying that.
JACK: No.
ALI: That's pretty wrapped up...I think?
JACK: I think it's too tied to Prelate-the Prelate.
ALI: Yeah.
ART: I think the Prelate isn't in the murder.
DRE: Really?
JACK: Well you would say that.
DRE: You don't?
ART: Yeah, religious people can murder people, and they weren't necessarily ordered to by their priest. The pope is not- is not ordering every Catholic- every mafia hit.
DRE: Is this Art talking or is this Hadrian talking?
ART: A little bit of both.
[They laugh]
ALI: So at this point, who are we...who do we feel the most comfortable pinning this on? And then let's explore that further.
KEITH: The guy who we said that he killed the guy, said it was the orc boys!
ALI: Well where's the-
ART: But they're like professional liar boys!
ALI: Yeah, where are there more orc boys?
KEITH: Yeah but he didn't tell us, he was telling his friends! He was like- I guess he told- he was bragging, he was telling his friends that he killed him, and told us about the orc boys.
JACK: In pig latin.
ART: Yeah, everything you tell your friends isn't true.
ALI: Uhhhh
ART: Sorry, friends.
KEITH: This guy, probably, fuckin' stretch over there, rat king.
DRE: There's something we're missing with Jericho, and it seems like all the physical evidence points to him being involved with this murder somehow, but we're missing the point that like what-
KEITH: Ali, did your purring cat swallow the microphone?
[Ali laughs]
DRE: Yeah, that cat's going hardcore right now.
ALI: I mean, she's a very loud cat, and- okay, I'll fix it.
DRE: There's- we're missing the part that directly ties Jericho to Greggy.
[PAUSE]
ART: Well I mean, this is about that book, right? And like... (DRE: Yeah.) I don't think that...
[PAUSE]
ALI: We don't know who took it and that seems...
DRE: When Hadrian reported back in about the book to his superiors at the church, they wanted that book, right?
ART: Nah, they just wanted to make sure someone kept an eye on Fantasmo because that's some dangerous shit that maybe we shouldn't just let any dude walk away with.
KEITH: Well, also he's not any dude.
DRE: Oh. So you mean, like...uh they would be opposed to someone having the knowledge and power that was contained with that book, and for what people could do with it? Maybe they thought that it had to be stopped?
ART (over Dre): Isn't he?
KEITH (over Dre): Kinda is.
ART: I don't think they knew like, specifically what it was but it's like, we went to this place and a lot of weird, evil shit was happening, and then we found the book that caused it, and we just gave the book to the first power-hungry wizard that just happened to be hanging out with us? Like...
(overlapping)
ALI: Yeah, well Fantasmo had it
KEITH: There's gotta be something to him, because Greggy is a disciple of him.
ALI: Right, yeah.
KEITH: Greggy's a cool guy! Probably.
ALI: 'cause if that-
ART: You don't know!
ALI: If that was the motive, they would have gone after Fantasmo and not Greggy. Right?
ART: Everyone's a terrible- [audio cuts off]
DRE: So the book was stolen from Fantasmo.
ART: Yes. Fantasmo-
DRE: Where was Fantasmo when the book was stolen?
ART: His-his-his-his pad.
JACK: He was in his apartment. (AUSTIN: Yes.) He woke up to see it being stolen by Harry Potter in the invisibility cloak.
ALI: That's who did it!
AUSTIN: Harry Potter. Yeah.
[They laugh]
JACK: I think, like, from my perspective-
DRE: Wait wait wait, is Greggy an elf?
AUSTIN & KEITH: Yes.
DRE: Could Jericho have gotten fucked up on some real bad drugs and been like, 'I don't know, that's a magic elf, they're all the same!'
[They laugh]
ART: No, because they both had the book- it would be an amazing coincidence.
DRE: They both had A Book, or something, right?
AUSTIN: They both had- they both had things. They both had magical...something. (JACK: So-) I don't know- we don't know what Greggy had yet, because we haven't gotten there yet, in the actual game! [Ali laughs] Right now, it's a box that when you open it, 'oh it's glowing! Something's in there!' I don't know what the size of this box is, filming this scene when we get picked up by Hollywood, when the rights get- I don't know what to tell them!
[Ali laughs]
(overlapped)
ART: We're not gonna get picked up before we get to the end of this-
JACK: The box the size of a cow.
AUSTIN: Listen, we've got some stuff in the works, I've been talking to some people...
KEITH: We might- we might, but production wouldn't start until afterwards.
AUSTIN: I hope!
JACK: Okay, so here's- here are the interesting things to me. Are. There's the weird sculpture that the Prelate asked Jericho to make. An old symbol of Samot? Austin? Or Samothes.
AUSTIN: Um, as I explained it last time, it probably predates Samothes. (JACK: Okay, so there's this-) It probably originated at this sort of like, low-level...everybody has a different name for their sun god, but this one depiction made it around before people had a name, and then it became a depiction of Samothes as the church of Samothes grew. And then it-
ART: Like a lot of religious stuff is older than the religion it's in now.
AUSTIN: Exactly. Of course, that's not what the church is. The church in this case, the temple of Samothes, says that they didn't know it yet, but they were all worshipping Samothes, and of course-
ART: Oh, don't make us Paul, come on! [Ali and Keith laugh] He's the worst one!
JACK: Then there's like...hang on.
AUSTIN, laughing: This is what you get when I know Art for ten years, is. I know he doesn't like Paul, so [laughing harder] I can specifically say something very specific about theology that bugs him, and it's great.
DRE: Yeah. You more of a Ringo guy?
[They laugh, especially Keith]
AUSTIN: Ringo's letter to the Corinthians was really important.
ART: If we're gonna talk about- if we're gonna talk about the Beatles...Ringo...pfft.
[PAUSE]
(overlapping)
DRE: Okay. Alright. Who do we wanna talk to?
AUSTIN: Alright. Sorry, I'm sorry, Lem. What's up. Lem was talking, I kept cutting him off. What's up, Jack?
JACK: Mysterious sculpture, made by suddenly evil religious dude, of a very very old symbol, that came alive when Hadrian kind of asked for a manifestation of his god, that thing animated. Then we've got Gregalos talking about some people stopping a thing with the very best of intentions. And we've got Lucius feeling weird about things that he made, and saying that he follows Samothes in a way that you can't even begin to yet. Samothes is a sun god. Midway through this, snow has mysteriously started falling for the first time in Velas, as a man has been killed with a weapon specifically designed to inhibit magical activity. AND, he was serving underneath Fantasmo, a guy who was really quick to pick up a mysterious old book in a tower, the first time we saw it. That's what interesting to me at the moment, but where we go from that, I have absolutely no idea whatsoever.
ART: Oh, I thought you were building to something.
[Ali laughs]
JACK: No, I just- no, I'm Lem. What are you expecting.
[Ali whines then laughs again]
AUSTIN: A season on serial.
JACK: [laughs] Um, yeah. So...
ART: Next time, on Dungeon World Serial...
AUSTIN: [sings a little theme tune] Doo-doo-doo!
JACK: So to me, there's something very old and magical going on. I think. And...uh...well gee, it would be nice if there was like an old and magical expert in our party.
[Ali laughs]
ART: That would be nice.
DRE: Wouldn't it?
ART: We don't have it. We can't have it. Here's the thing. Here's A Thing. Here's a thing...wait, I lost it.
KEITH: Shit.
ART: Ugh, this was a good idea, too. Where did I go?
KEITH: Hold on, I'll-I'll redo- I'll pick up where you left off, and you stop me when you remember. Here's the thing.
ART: Nope.
[They laugh]
KEITH: Paul....is....kind of a shit.
ART: Dead. Miss him, miss him.
[PAUSE, lots of people starting thoughts and stopping]
KEITH: Austin gave the smallest clap ever seen.
ART: Okay, look...here we go, here we go. If the church wanted the people with these books dead, they would have told me to kill Fantasmo. And they didn't.
JACK: So that means they want the books.
KEITH: Well they might have.
[PAUSE]
ART: They didn't.
KEITH: You don't know, there's a lot that we haven't done yet.
ART: No, we did the part where they told me things before I left! I'm gone!
KEITH: That's fair. You could come back, and then they go 'you gotta kill this guy', and then you go 'hmmm...yeah..'
ART: I'm gonna be pissed if it turns out it was me.
[Ali and Keith cackle]
KEITH: That would be fantastic!
DRE: I don't think that maybe...maybe Samot has got to Lucius, because it's been a consistent theme where we see symbols that look like Samothes be connected to Samot, and even like the...the...evil twin...the word eater version of Kindrali tried to tell you that followed Samot and not Samothes and maybe that has...what has one, gotten Lucius to be interested in this old symbol, and two, has suddenly got you to ping your evil senses.
ART: Metagame wise, my guidance spell is working here.
AUSTIN: Yes.
DRE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Metagame wise, Samothes is communicating to you.
ART: Right.
AUSTIN: Samothes is telling you what he wants you to do. Absolutely. Except for that one time when it failed, and Samot told you where to go. Which was forward, towards the centre of the Mark of the Erasure.
ART: Yeah. You know, but that's gonna turn out great. Everything's fine.
AUSTIN: I will- one more metagame thing I do wanna say is, because- we're situating this in a campaign. So there will absolutely be mysteries here that we cannot solve tonight. Like, who are the disciples of Fantasmo, what the relationship is between Samothes and Samot, although I think- again, if you look at the days of the week that I gave you, which I'm gonna add to this document, probably, at some point?
ART: Yeah, I got a lot of clues in the first-
AUSTIN: Right. About what that is. And the fact that earlier I called it the nation of five divines and stuff like that. Right, like there will be- that's the stuff we will be continuing to deep dive into in coming weeks and months of the game. So like, try to stay focused on the material that's here, and how it helps you solve stuff.
ART: Yeah.
[LONG PAUSE]
ART: The problem is, if we don't think that the orc boys did it, we're not...those are the two...
KEITH: Yeah, the thing is that, I think that the orc- I think that there's more- there's definitely way more about these orc boys (ALI: Yeah.) but, we have- we also don't know anything about that whole line, except...uh...yeah. We don't know anything about that whole line.
ALI: I mean, who's left that we feel like we need to speak to?
DRE: Was orc boy with the...ship captain when you all failed that roll? Was he there?
(overlapped)
AUSTIN: They failed that roll.
JACK: No. He wasn't there. We failed the roll. Maybe he was hiding.
KEITH: We can still- we can eject- do you want- maybe one of us can hang out and reroll that.
JACK: I'm up for that.
[Art, Austin, and Dre talk over each other]
AUSTIN: Yeah, all you have to do is stay there.
KEITH: So one of us can stay here and just do it.
DRE: One of us needs to stay there. We need to talk- we need to talk to Jericho.
KEITH: This whole thing was filled with punch and I drank the whole thing.
ART: I don't know if we- I don't know if we're ever gonna be able to talk to Jericho. But like, what if we just sent like, Hella over to like...take Lucius and hold him over the edge of a roof or shit and shake him or something.
DRE (over Art): Hey! Hey, wait a minute, wait a minute. What if...what if we had someone who had the ability to fucking heal people with their hands?
ART: Does drunk count as sick?
AUSTIN: He's not drunk, he's like...
ART: He's high?
AUSTIN: He's high, yeah.
ART: Does it work like that?
AUSTIN: Sure.
KEITH: It can work like that, why not? It's fuckin' magic! Art-
AUSTIN: We just did a session that people will hear in six months, seven months...2016...
ART: Our July 4th special
AUSTIN: Right. Exactly. [Laughs] Where you take a disease from someone. Like, you basically take like a thing that's in their blood away, and put it into your blood.
JACK: Oh dear.
AUSTIN: So yeah,that would work.
ART: Alright, let's-
KEITH: Why would you put that in your blood, jerk?
AUSTIN: Well, not on purpose. If the roll was like a middling success, he gets the effect on him instead of it being gone. He'll take damage, or whatever. But since this will be a success, that won't happen.
ART: Yeah. It's worth knowing that my-my arms and hands are covered.
AUSTIN: Thank you.
ALI: Oh, you're dressed for the occasion.
AUSTIN: Mmhmm.
ART: Uh, so yeah. I'll go talk to Jericho. Well, I'll go to where Jericho was. Or, I could kill him, and then I could talk to his dead body.
ALI: Ooohhh...
DRE: Yeah, or you could cure him and 'I am the law' him, and if he still doesn't tell you, kill him and then talk to the body.
[Jack and Austin laugh]
JACK: Uh, they've tried this in Pushing Daisies it-it doesn't work.
AUSTIN: S2. So if- yep.
ART: What did we want to talk to Espanarde for? I'm trying to remember.
AUSTIN: He drew the caricature of Jericho and his son
KEITH: And it was not good. He did not do a good jar. Job. He didn't do a good jar.
AUSTIN (at same time as Keith: He did not do a good jar.
KEITH, laughing: This is a terrible jar! This looks like a person, kinda.
DRE: Do we wanna talk to him? I don't- do we think we'll gain anything from trying to find him? 'cause one, he's in the Garden District, so who knows if he's gonna be where he's supposed to be.
ART: No, right- [audio jumps] picture, unless the kid died immediately after the caricature was drawn, that's not-
KEITH: Yeah, a caricature of a murder scene.
ALI: Yeah, we don't need any more information about this guy and his son. Like-
KEITH: Um, I think- Jack, do you have anywhere that you're dying to go to, or-
JACK: Um, I'm th-
KEITH: Which one of us should stay with-
AUSTIN: Other than to bed because it's suuuuuper late.
KEITH: Yeah, that too.
JACK: I have a feeling that I should stay here in case I get to talk to orc boy, since we're both archivists? I'm vaguely interested in Qoqa Sterral, who has 'Fantasmo' written next to their name?
DRE: Yeah, maybe we should go check that out?
[PAUSE]
JACK: But I'm not sure exactly how much that's gonna tell us about the murder.
KEITH: Wait, sorry Jack, I missed- what are you gonna check out?
JACK: I think I'm gonna stay and talk to the orc boy, or the orc girl.
KEITH: Well, I'm of the opinion that the...that the best way to see what's up with the murder is to talk these orcs, or to this orc specifically.
JACK: Then there's Qoqa Sterral, who has 'Fantasmo' by their name, but at the same time, like- it...I have a feeling that er...disciples of Fantasmo might not be as immediately relevant to the circumstances of the murder in a way that could be useful~?
KEITH: I agree.
JACK: Um... there's Lael Rankine, the fisherman on the docks?
DRE: Well, but if they know Greggy, maybe Greggy had...you know, maybe he knew someone was after him, or something like that.
ALI: Uh... I mean...that's something we could have just asked Greggy, right?
KEITH: We should have asked the rat king which orc boys he meant. [Laughs] These are the wrong orc boys.
AUSTIN: He said, what he said was 'one of them orc boys' and I communicated to you at the time that he meant one of the archivists. That's definitely who he meant.
JACK: So it's not- and it's not Morbash, because Morbash has just arrived.
KEITH: Right.
JACK: And is probably having a field day. A literal field day.
KEITH: That you came to him?
JACK: Ah, and it just started snowing.
DRE: Do we have...any reason to talk to Helena Moore? The diviner and psychic?
JACK: We have a psychic. In our party. He can talk to dead people.
[Ali laughs]
KEITH: Well that's a medium, not a psychic.
[PAUSE]
DRE: Oh! You know what we need to figure out! We need to figure out whose fuckin' blood is on that shirt! That's what we need to figure out.
KEITH: Well Hella took a piece of that blood! (ALI: Yeah.) If I go hang out- [laughs] if I can go hang out with Hella, I can smell it, because I'm a dog.
AUSTIN: No you can just- oh, you can do that.
ALI: Right, we just interchange it you don't have to be here.
KEITH: Yeah, I guess we can just like 'oh one of the messengers gave it to me'. I'm a dog. Is it- is it- (AUSTIN: Yes.) Greggy?
AUSTIN: It is Greggy's blood.
KEITH: Okay.
[PAUSE, Ali giggles]
JACK: Remember we have to answer the questions at the end. And one of the questions might be like, 'What's interesting?' At which point-
KEITH: Well again, even if we get to Jericho, and Jericho's like 'I did it' like, that's not who we want. We don't want the guy that was manipulated into murdering Greggy, we want the one above that.
ALI: Well we want to know the order that was made to him, certainly. Like, what was the conversation that happened? Was this just a bullshit interpretation, or were you told to kill a guy?
JACK, whispering: It's Prelate Lucius!
[Ali chuckles]
KEITH: It might be these orc boys!
JACK: It's probably not. I'm gonna-
AUSTIN: Alright, let's- let's make a move. It's getting there.
ART: Alright. I'm gonna go to Veranda to find the person that's connected to Fantasmo.
JACK: I'm keeping my name here. And clicking that thing.
DRE: Ali's staying put to continue searching the ship?
AUSTIN: Sure. Is that what she's doing?
DRE: Keith what are you doing?
ALI: Um, no...I don't think there's anything there for us. Um...I can go with someone?
DRE: You can come with me?
ALI: Yeah.
DRE: You can come with me.
ALI: You're...
AUSTIN: That's fair.
DRE: You can hang out with my dog. Grr! Tough dog!
AUSTIN: Have we all moved? Are we all moved?
JACK: Um, Fero-
AUSTIN: Fero, Fero has not moved.
KEITH: I have not moved. I'm still kind of deciding where is best for me to be.
JACK: I think you should probably move.
DRE: Why don't you go with Hadrian?
KEITH: I'll go with Hadrian.
[PAUSE]
AUSTIN: No. No. You're just gonna use that ability. We'll come to you last, that seems the most dramatic.
KEITH: Um...what, where- Hadrian...okay,there. I'll go hang out with him. Alright. Well, then, I'll figure out where I'm going. Hold on.
[Austin laughs]
[PAUSE]
KEITH: Is there- is there a thing that we're not covering?
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: Yes.
KEITH: Is there a thing that we really feel like we should be covering that we're not covering?
JACK: Um, wait a second. Um...
[PAUSE]
KEITH: I'll go to the- I'll go to the Em...bas...sy. Okay. F9. That. That piece of this? Where's F9, I don't see it.
ALI: Um...maybe I'll go there with you? Because I could probably get more...information there?
KEITH: Sure.
ALI: Sure.
AUSTIN: Alright.
[PAUSE]
AUSTIN: Alright, let's-
KEITH: The only other thing that I'd want to do is to talk more to the rats, and that's stupid.
[PAUSE]
AUSTIN: Yeah? Okay. Let's start with...Throndir.
DRE: Am I by myself now?
AUSTIN: You're by yourself now.
ALI: Yeah. I'm going to the embassy, sorry.
DRE: YYYYOLO! Nine! Okay.
AUSTIN: Alright, alright. Let's get up to this place here...what's the number on that again?
[PAUSE]
DRE: I'm at the Veranda?
AUSTIN: Oh I got it, I got it. Yep. So,the Veranda is nice. It's blocked off by tall sandstone terraced housing, and it looks off into the sea, which in the storm is thrashing back and forth. There are a handful of folks gathered around an improvised fire in the middle of the Veranda. But...you know, mostly they're wishing they could be inside one of the many homes nearby. Qoqa...Qoqa Sterral has a townhouse in this district, or in this region- this part of the Garden District. And when you arrive, she lets you in immediately. Recognising you from the description of Fantasmo. She brings you up to her attic. She's very nice, very uh...gregarious, offers you a warm drink. And soon leads you up to where Fantasmo lives. On the door is a sign. It says 'gone - back soon.' What do you do?
DRE: Oh, boy. Um...what's the room look like? What's here in the room?
AUSTIN: So you open the door?
DRE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Okay. Inside, Fantasmo lays-
DRE (over Austin): We're elf bros!
AUSTIN: -hovering a foot above his bed. Still as the sun is in the sky today. Throndir, you've seen him like this before, but never so still. Never so quiet. You think that he's in his own head, maybe. Trying to revisit a place in his own past. Trying to find some information.
[PAUSE]
DRE: So he's basically, like, in stasis.
AUSTIN: Yeah, he's in stasis, tranced out. [PAUSE] You have a question here. Qoqa might know some stuff, certainly.
DRE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Or you could ask questions about his scenario, and what he's doing, and stuff like that.
DRE: Yeah, I don't want to ask like, my question, but like, I wanna have general conversation like, how long has he been like this?
AUSTIN: Uh, she tells you all..um...she tells you that she was- that when she woke up at four, for the sunrise, he- she went up to get him, you know, she's always trying to get him to be more social. [Ali awws] And he was already like this. With the sign on the door and everything.
DRE: Do I notice that she's wearing a disciples of Fantasmo ring?
AUSTIN: No. In fact- yeah.
[PAUSE]
DRE: I guess I just ask general questions about like, you know, the robbery last night. Does she remember hearing anything, seeing anyone, does Fantasmo tell her anything?
AUSTIN: No. They didn't speak. Alright, let's get to your one big question, and then we'll move on. Only again, for time, 'cause it's getting there.
DRE: Okay. (whispering) Ah, shit. (normal volume) Um...[PAUSE] Mmm...my big question would be 'what is Fantasmo trying to remember' but I don't know how I would find that.
AUSTIN: I can give you that. Um. You see...sketches of the disciples of Fantasmo symbol that he's made recently. Like, today. In the sense that...it seems like...you can see that he's trying to work it out, so he's done it a couple of times as if to understand what it is. Does that make sense? Like, as if to see if he can get it right. And then...he's trying to figure out what that is. You can imagine.
DRE: Like in terms of what the symbol implies, or if it's magical or something?
AUSTIN: Yes. All-all of that. Yes. He's- it's a surprise to him.
DRE: Yeah. 'Why is this thing representative of me?'
AUSTIN: Yes. Well, he's- you don't even know if he knows it's representative of him. He saw the symbol, and is investigating the symbol.
DRE: Okay.
AUSTIN: Okay?
DRE: Do I get any Kindrali sense from the symbol?
AUSTIN: It's pre-Erasure. Originally. Which is what all, listeners of the show at this point know that, too. It predates the Erasure. Or, it's a version of a thing that predates the Erasure, is what I've said. Alright. Let's go to...the Embassy. Gimme a roll.
[PAUSE]
AUSTIN: One of the people in the embassy.
[Ali laughs]
KEITH: I will roll...a ten.
AUSTIN: Okay! A ten! Look at you!
KEITH: Nice!
AUSTIN: Look at you! [starts clapping]
KEITH: Yeah, that was like- people gotta let me roll more often! I'm pretty good at this shit!
AUSTIN: Alright. The Ordennan embassy is a strange structure. It's black and gold and bronze. Hard edges. Large gates. But still extravagant. The building reflects the smoke and the fire of Ordenna itself, and unlike some other parts of the city, the Ordennan embassy, with all of those colours, comes alive in the snow. Ansa O. Alsa is the ambassador from Ordenna and she, of course, denies any wrongdoing on her part. [Keith chuckles] After some questioning, and with recognition that Hella has allegiance to Ordenna above all else, of course -- and she says it in that way, in the way that seeks to confirm that of course that's where her allegiances lie, eyeing that golden lance on your chest as if to say, you know, 'remember where your heart is'.
KEITH: It's home, that's where your heart is.
ALI: It's where duty calls.
AUSTIN: Home. She...again denies that she did anything wrong, but yeah. Therat Saal is here. He's in their protection, and that he was originally supposed to go home to Ordenna tonight, under the cover of dark once the sun set and everyone went to sleep, but now with the storm, she's not sure. If she can get him to the boat, then he'll be able to escape safely. What she also says is it's funny, they planned to break him out tomorrow, and he just showed up on their doorstep early this morning.
KEITH: That's hilarious!
ALI: [laughs] That's....hmm...that's a weird thing.
JACK: Is that because...hang on, who planned to break him out tomorrow morning?
AUSTIN: The Ordennans.
KEITH: The Ordennans, yeah.
JACK: Right, so that's because Lucius- Prelate Lucius, has gotten there first in service of Robel, right?
ART: Yeah.
JACK: That was a rhetorical question to you, Austin.
AUSTIN: I think that's- yeah.
KEITH: I like- I like the, 'I didn't do anything- we didn't do anything wrong, we were gonna do something wrong, tomorrow.'
[Ali giggles]
AUSTIN: We're-they can literally point to their plans to show you like, 'oh, tomorrow is the day we were gonna- we planned on doing something, but we're innocent.'
KEITH: Yeah, 'we were gonna, but we didn't do shit! Don't get it twisted.'
AUSTIN: I was gonna take that-
[Everyone laughs]
AUSTIN: I was gonna take that cookie out of that jar!
ALI: I am very glad about this news.
AUSTIN: Uh-oh, I lost Art. Art? Art.
KEITH: Oh, I lost volume again!
[PAUSE]
AUSTIN, laughing: Can other people hear? What is happening?
KEITH: I don't know! Why can't we hear? I- oh, there we go, we're back!
AUSTIN: We're back!
ART: There we go.
ALI: Hi, hello.
JACK: Keith, I'm going to save you the trouble, I didn't say anything during that one.
KEITH: I'm gonna- no, I'm just- I'm not gonna edit that, I think that's fun.
AUSTIN: Okay.
KEITH: This is gonna be like a weird 'we don't know where we anything!' We were doing our fun cross-arms bit, I don't know what that's about.
AUSTIN: Me neither, I saw Art do it last time, and thought 'Oh, I'll do it this time!'
KEITH: It's probably a wrestling thing because Art's a weirdo.
JACK: Yeah, for the...for the podcast audience-
ART (over Jack): I did take it from wrestling.
KEITH: Thank you.
JACK: For the podcast audience, we're occasionally losing our audio, at which point almost everybody on screen is making a weird cross symbol with their hands, silently.
AUSTIN: Is that what punk did when-
ART: It's how you symbolise that someone's really hurt.
AUSTIN: Ohhh okay. Okay.
JACK: [laughs] In this instance, meaning 'our microphones have temporarily stopped working.'
[Ali laughs]
(overlapped)
DRE: I'm a big fan of Dante Hall. That's why I do it.
AUSTIN: Our microphones are really hurt.
KEITH: Not being heard is paining me!
AUSTIN: Okay.
KEITH: Okay.
AUSTIN: Questions. You have questions. Two questions here. Again, you don't need to use them, but you totally can.
DRE: Asking all these questions.
KEITH: Um…
AUSTIN: Fero and Hella.
KEITH: Can we- can we talk to this dude?
AUSTIN: Sure. You can ask him- like, let's say all these questions-
KEITH: I mean I don't know if I need to-
AUSTIN: You don't need to.
KEITH: Okay. Okay.
AUSTIN: I-I...you know. You totally can learn stuff, but...well, again I just wanna be time-conscious here.
ALI: Yeah.
KEITH: Um, Ali do you have a question right now? Uh...we'll take our- we'll take our question off the air.
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: Okay!
ALI: I guess we'll wait?
AUSTIN: Let's go to Hadrian, and if you have a question at the end- or wait, wait wait wait, Lem? Did we do Lem yet? Oh man, we went ahead four places. Lem. Let's do Lem.
JACK: Okay, hold on.
KEITH: Lem's having them orc boys.
JACK: I'm just gonna roll.
AUSTIN: No you don't need to roll! You've been there two hours, you just get it. You just get it.
KEITH (over Austin): Nah, you don't need to.
JACK: Okay. I'm rolling a twelve…
AUSTIN: So I think...I think you...I'm curious how this works. There's lots of ways this could work. I'll toss out some thoughts. One, you could hang out by yourself for long enough, and maybe Elgash Or, Elgash Or doesn't know that like, Morbash is out for your head? And thinks 'oh, phew, you're from the Archives', and he can come out now. Or, you maybe you just hang out long enough, and you hear him come out, and you like bust in. I don't know what's more Lem-like.
JACK: [laughs] I don't think Lem does busting in, really? (AUSTIN: No, he doesn't do any-) Except for that one time he did in the hotel room?
AUSTIN: Right. And that went really well.
JACK: Yeah. [Chuckles] But I don't- [sighs] I do kind of like the idea of Lem- I think Lem would probably like the opportunity to masquerade for a short time as an Archivist (AUSTIN: Okay.) because he knows he's lost that.
AUSTIN: So yeah, let's say that after...after...who was with you there? Hella?
JACK: Fero.
KEITH: No, it was me. Yeah.
AUSTIN: After Fero leaves, you stick around, and it's not long after - like you just- Fero's like, 'Oh, I have to go check out something else,' and you stay there and keep talking. And...it comes into your head that you can...at some point you're like, 'now listen, now that Fero's gone, I can explain. I'm really an Archivist. I'm here to meet with Elgash Or. With Archivist Elgash.' And Elgash comes out. And...sees you there. And since you- again, this is your second turn there, you get everything. You speak for a little bit, and Elgash explains that he has the book. That he made a deal with Prelate Lucius to recover this book for him. [Jack sighs] hat, one of the big deal Archivists back at the New Archives HQ, thinks that this book is incredibly important for the fifty year plan.
[PAUSE]
JACK: The fifty year plan?
AUSTIN: You know, this is the thing that happens in the Archives. Like, every...century or two, someone gets the idea that like 'Oh, we can fix this.' Right? Like, this is the whole thing with the Archives. You and I have talked about this during the world creation segment and here and there throughout the various sessions, and off-record, also. Where we talk about how one of the things that the Archivists try to do like, they've seen this great terrible tragedy happen to the world. They've seen the Erasure happen, and they've lived through it, and they want to fix it. And so, they spend a lot of time and energy and effort getting lots of things and trying to do the semiotic magic to undo what the terrible thing that happened. Or to create the world in a new, better image. Um-
KEITH: My favourite part about that whole thing is how much...how- they're obsessed with erasing the tragedy to the point where everyone has forgotten the tragic part of it?
AUSTIN: Right. Yeah.
KEITH: Except- they're just like 'we gotta fix this!' Like, fix what? We've been like this forever, as far as we're concerned.
AUSTIN: Right. Yes, yes. It's great.
KEITH: Ah, it's the best.
AUSTIN: It's so good, I love that faction so much. So, they...this is one of the key components. When they found out what this is, Elgash tells you, when they found out that there was a book with a spell that could give a sort of life to things, the...the kind of head Archivist of this project thought that fit in nicely with the formulas he'd already been working out for the semiotic ritual that was necessary to-to figure out if they could fix things. And so, he had been contacted by messenger to see if he could get this, and he also, through just living in this town, heard that Prelate Lucius had maybe..some qualms with who the book-who the book- ah, who had the book in their hands. And was fearful of what might happen if that person still had the book.
[PAUSE]
JACK, conspiratorially: Sounds like fearful enough to maybe murder a man.
[Keith laughs]
AUSTIN: [stumbles] uh, he says no. There was no murder involved! We had one of those rats steal the book for us, it was ah, it wasn't hard at all. It was a simple thing.
DRE: But...but the rats said that the orc boys also put them up to the murder.
[PAUSE]
KEITH: Yeah, rats are weirdos.
[PAUSE]
JACK: Do I get a question?
AUSTIN: Sure.
[PAUSE]
JACK: Help?
[Everyone awws and laughs]
JACK: That's not my question.
KEITH: Maybe- maybe see if you can figure out if he's telling the truth about not knowing anything about the murder?
DRE: Yeah, or not knowing anything about Greggy.
JACK: Yeah, well my concern is I'm gonna say 'do you know about this murder' and he's just gonna-
AUSTIN (over Jack): Remember you're not asking that- you're not asking that. I'm- I'm-
JACK: Yeah, that's true.
AUSTIN: I'm telling you the truth about what he knows, when you ask that question.
JACK: Okay. Alright. Okay. Umm.... [PAUSE] well because he just- he might not know anything at all about the murder. I think I know how I could find information out in this weird situation, but my concern is that it wouldn't-
ART: It's a ferret question, I swear to god…
[Austin, Jack, and Keith laugh]
JACK: No, it's not a ferret question.
KEITH: How did they get so slinky?
JACK: [laughs] Do we- do we want to try and establish whether or not the orcs were connected to the murder?
KEITH: Yes.
DRE: I think that's important. I think that's important.
KEITH: At this point, I don't - I think that you like, trying to either connect him-them closer, or farther from the Prelate. You're like, who's the guy that we can pin the murder on?
JACK: Austin.
AUSTIN: Yes.
JACK: I'm assuming this guy is like, classic Archivist, wearing Archivist's armour, covered in stuff…
AUSTIN: Yep. He's-he's a little more bookish than- he's way more bookish than Morbash is. Do you know what I mean?
JACK: Yeah. Well Morbash is like a collector Archivist.
AUSTIN: Yeah yeah yeah, exactly.
KEITH: He's got a little more Lem in him.
JACK: Or, no, he's got lot less Lem in- Morbash is like the armed wing-
KEITH: No no no, I'm saying-
AUSTIN (over Keith): No, this guy has more Lem. (JACK: Oh, yeah yeah.) Yeah. Absolutely.
JACK: Yeah. Okay. Is there any way I could work out how connected the orcs are (AUSTIN: Sure) to the murder, through pattern magic?
AUSTIN: Sure.
JACK: Through observation of his armour, and my armour, and the patterns within.
AUSTIN: Yeah. I think this is like one of those, when we get that Hollywood deal, there'll be like a real cool Sherlock-style breakdown of like, weird bits of his- of his-
JACK: Well but it's not like Sherlock-
KEITH (over Jack): Smash cut to- extreme close up on his eyeball, (AUSTIN: Right) then extreme close up on a pocket, [Dre chuckles] and then your pocket, and then (JACK: No, I just think he's-) a marble in the corner.
JACK: I think he's just noticing the way the shadows fall on this dude's armour, and that's telling him something.
AUSTIN: He- he asks more of that crow- or of that rat. Not the crow. They're not the crows. That's the- that's Dragon Age assassin's guild. Way different. [Keith giggles] He did ask a little bit more, you realise. It wasn't a murder. He wasn't lying to you when he said he- but he was asked to take- he asked for Gregalos to be taken out of commission for some time. Gregalos is of course, a powerful wizard, he'll recognise when he's been poisoned. It might take him out of action for a little bit but, y'know. There's- all you need is- he wanted a window. He needed a window of opportunity for the book to be slipped away. So he just needed Gregalos to be busy cleansing himself of this poison. For that day.
JACK: Okay. So the murder was accidental-
AUSTIN (over Jack): So as far as he understands, that poisoning was part of this burglary.
JACK: Right. Okay.
ART: So the poison was not meant to kill him.
AUSTIN and ALI: Right.
AUSTIN: It was a poison that would have killed any of us. But Gregalos is an adventurer. He's a- he's a disciple of Fantasmo. He has lots of magic at his disposal. He's not a wizard, per se, but he's studied with wizards his whole- or he studied with a wizard-
KEITH: He's an adept?
AUSTIN: He's an adept. He's a whatever. He's a magis
JACK: He's a second-unit party member.
AUSTIN: Right. Exactly.
KEITH: He's a hireling.
AUSTIN: He's better than a hireling! I wouldn't give you as a hireling. He's better than a hireling. I mean, he's dead now.
KEITH (in the background): Oh! It's gone! It's gone!
(over Austin)
JACK: Everyone's making the cross arms.
DRE: Wait, I still hear Ali, but I can't hear Austin. Can I hear everyone else?
JACK: I-I don't have video, so I can't-
KEITH: I don't- he can't hear anything!
DRE: Oh boy.
KEITH: I can't hear- I don't know!
AUSTIN: What's happening to our connection?
KEITH: There it is! There it is. Hey, what's up.
AUSTIN: I don't understand.
JACK: Aaand the Skype call's back.
KEITH: Skype is a bad boy!
DRE: Okayokayokayokay. Okay. I have-
AUSTIN: Let's move. Go ahead.
DRE: So was it that they had to get rid of Greggy 'cause I guess...so, the whole poisoning Greggy was a distraction or to stop him from intervening of the actual theft of the book from Fantasmo.
AUSTIN: That's what Elgash thinks. At least. That's Elgash's...that's what Elgash, that's what Jack is able to put together from Elgash's experience through weird pattern magic that I'd love to delve into deeper but it's 11:10.
KEITH: Elgash is saying it's like when you tap someone's shoulder, when you tap someone's shoulder on the other side of where they are, (AUSTIN: Right) and they look one way and you're like 'oh! Got your book!' but in this case, the finger was poison, instead.
JACK (over Keith): Oh. We still don't have Art yet.
AUSTIN: Oh, Art's just disconnected.
ALI: Oh.
KEITH: Art's disconnected. Art's a dot.
AUSTIN: Art's a- yeah.
JACK: We should probably wait until Art gets back.
KEITH: Art's sitting in his chair, throwing up the X, and no-one can see.
AUSTIN: No-one can see Art throwing up X!
KEITH: No-one can see.
DRE: Poor-poor Greggy is just collateral damage in this book heist!
AUSTIN: Skype crashed for Art.
DRE: Okay.
ALI: But then was like, also...
AUSTIN: And he can't join the call. Let's restart this call. Let's restart this call.
KEITH (over Austin):This is- this is what I've been saying for...okay.
JACK: Then Austin just made a kind of turning gesture with his hands? That wasn't so important 'cause we could hear him.
ALI: Hey?
AUSTIN: Hey, hi?
JACK: I’m just keeping you updated.
ALI: Hi. Okay.
DRE: Hello? Hey.
ALI: Yeah. Same.
AUSTIN: Sounds good.
DRE: That's fair.
AUSTIN: Keith? Jack? Jack's in.
JACK: I'm here. I'm here.
AUSTIN: Keith is being dialled.
DRE: Waitin' on Keith. [To the tune of 'All About That Bass'] 'cause I'm all about that Keith, 'bout that Keith.
KEITH: There we go.
JACK: We all are.
AUSTIN: There it is, okay.
KEITH: What's up. [PAUSE] So this is- I think...this is a little bit like I was saying and have been for a while, that maybe Jericho accidentally killed him, by accident, without knowing.
ALI: Well- no- 'cos we're in the situation now where the orcs were like 'yeah, we just wanted to put him out of commission' but then...someone wanted him dead?
KEITH: Right. But- yeah, but I'm saying a separate force...a separate force is going like 'hey buddy you gotta take this- you gotta take this uh, this hook and put it in this guy.' And then this regular dude went up to Greggy, [Ali giggles] and was like, POKE! And then it was like (makes a whooshing noise)
JACK: I think we...
ART: Under like, modern law, which I know is completely irrelevant here, but- the orcs are culpable.
KEITH: Yeah. No, you're right.
ALI: I mean but-
JACK: And so is Prelate Lucius.
ART: This is murder in commission of a felony.
DRE: Yeah. So I think what happened, I think you're right Keith, that he was in some sort of magical trance, or invoking some sort of magic to cleanse himself of the poison when he was hit with the black hook, which inhibits magic, and that killed him.
(overlapping)
JACK: And caused him to go (whooshing noise)
KEITH: And what I'm saying is that I want someone to say 'Keith, you're a good detective.'
ALI: You did it!
DRE: Keith, you're a regular, old, gumshoe dick.
KEITH, laughing: I'm a fuckin gumshoe dick! Look at this gumshoe dick!
[Dre laughs]
JACK: I think we need- I think we need to get to the bottom of Bishop. (ALI: Yeah.) Because...I think that we know why he was poisoned, we know who poisoned him, we know that- uh, no. Greggy. We know why Greggy was poisoned, we know who poisoned,we know when and how they poisoned him, and we know that he was killed with a hook by somebody uh...who- and Jericho has his blood on his shirt, and has connection to the sea, and it seems to me that the- the answer to this is gonna come with...with Bishop. With some information about Bishop.
KEITH: Wh- Bishop, or Jericho, or Greggy?
JACK: Bishop.
KEITH: Okay.
JACK: Jericho's son.
KEITH: Right.
ALI: Wait-
ART: So I should- I should still talk to Jericho here, right?
ALI: Yeah.
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: We still have a turn, we still have this Hadrian turn, which is a big one. Let's do it!
KEITH: Yeah.
DRE: Yeah.
ALI: Yeah, we still have Art's turn, yeah. Yeah, okay, let's wrap that up, then we can talk, yeah..
JACK: Yeah, totally.
AUSTIN: And then- and then it will be..one more turn, right? Is this- did I change...?
KEITH: And then we can all...storm...Prelate.
ART: Yeah. That's what's gonna happen.
KEITH: This is the penultimate turn.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: But this is still the end of that turn.
AUSTIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is still the end of that turn.
KEITH: You-you're- this is your section of that penultimate turn.
AUSTIN: Yes. So, you lay your hand on him, and bring him back to clear mind. You can feel that he is in...like, besides the pain that you can take away, you can feel through the touch of Samothes that he is in...a dark place, generally.
ART: I think- I think I knew that, just generally.
[Ali giggles[
AUSTIN: Yeah, but you feel it! You know, like- remember how (ART: Sure.) we talked about how like you could feel the cold, even though you didn't- you weren't cold? This is the- where you could feel the emptiness? This is similar to that. It hurts, and you can't take that away from him. And that hurts you emotionally, in a weird way.
ART: Yeah, it sucks.
KEITH: You're a nice guy.
AUSTIN: He comes to. What do you ask him?
[PAUSE]
KEITH, laughing: Tell me all of it!
ART: Yeah, just tell me everything!
JACK: Did you kill him, how did you kill him-hmm, I don't know.
ALI: Were you put up to it?
KEITH: He definitely put that hook in him.
ART: What happened last night?
[Keith laughs]
AUSTIN: That's fair. That's a- he like- he looks- you're wearing, like your ring and all that, right?
ART: I'm wearing like-[cuts off]
AUSTIN: Right. He looks at you, and he says-
ART: Like- like unnaturally white
AUSTIN: Right. (Chuckles). Especially in the snow. Did-
ART: Holy day vestments? Like...I picture them as like, really white
AUSTIN (as Jericho): Did Lucius send you?
ART (As Hadrian): Kind of.
ALI: No-no!
AUSTIN: Art,
KEITH: You've gotta commit to this bit!
ALI, laughing: No!
AUSTIN: Be Hadrian! I need you to look into your Hadrian heart. I need you to bring it out!
ART (as Hadrian): I spoke to Lucius earlier.
AUSTIN (as Jericho): Huh. Does he know it's done?
[Long pause]
ART (as Hadrian): He must. It's everywhere.
AUSTIN (as Jericho): Did- did he say if...[sighs] Did he say if my sin was clear? If my soul was clean in the face of Samothes, our Lord, our God, our Sun? Our Sun...
AUSTIN: And he...[groans] on the word sun, crumples a bit.
ART: Ugh. I don't want to break this man.
AUSTIN: Yeah, well...
DRE: He's already broken, man.
AUSTIN: He might not have to be.
ART (as Hadrian): Lucius...Lucius is-is failing you, my son.
ART: I shouldn't have said that.
AUSTIN: Well you did.
[They all laugh loudly]
AUSTIN, through his hands: That's how it came out, didn't it? Oh....my son....
AUSTIN (as Jericho): Lucius has helped me! Lucius has helped me! Lucius has been the only one to help me.
ART (as Hadrian): Did he...Did he have you...did he have you kill that man?
[PAUSE]
AUSTIN (as Jericho): That man was a monster! That man...he was a- [sighs] That man would have us all seen in our own private hells. I stopped a bad thing. I-
ART (as Hadrian): I know.
AUSTIN (as Jericho): I cleared my soul! I had to!
ART (as Hadrian): I promise you, I've killed monsters for our Lord. I know what that's like.
[PAUSE]
AUSTIN (as Jericho): Will I be okay?
[PAUSE]
ART: I'm out of- hm. [huffs] I was just gonna...I was just gonna...I was gonna kill him.
AUSTIN, incredulous: Yeah?
ART: I was gonna Prop Joe him. (AUSTIN: Okay.) Just like...breathe easy.
AUSTIN: Right.
ALI, sad: Aw....
ART: 'cos I can't. I can't let him...I can't. That's my alignment.
AUSTIN: Yeah, it is. Deny mercy to a criminal or unbeliever.
KEITH: But he's also a SUPER believer.
ALI: Well, he-
AUSTIN: But he's also a criminal.
ALI: He's not the criminal!
ART: It's an inclusive 'or' not an exclusive 'or'.
AUSTIN: Right. Yes.
ALI, disappointed: awww...
AUSTIN: I'm not gonna say anything until it's done or it isn't done.
ART: Well it's-it-
JACK: You did just say 'reach into your heart and be Hadrian'.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Reach into your heart and be Hadrian. Play it- like that's again, the thing that makes this interesting in a way is you're still your characters.
ART: I'm- I wanna put both of my hands on his shoulders. (AUSTIN: Okay.)
ART (as Hadrian): It's...it's gonna be...it's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay.
[AUSTIN takes in a deep breath]
ART: And then I wanna- I wanna...I wanna snap his neck
AUSTIN: And he falls to the ground. And he gave no resistance. And he doesn't have a last word. He doesn't get one. You took that from him. Next turn.
ART: Yeah, life sucks guys.
JACK: I'm gonna need a new bond with Art
[AUSTIN and ALI laugh]
(overlapping)
DRE: Hadrian murders people!
KEITH: We can't have a new bond with Art for like, months! We have to pretend like that's not a thing!
AUSTIN: Um...okay. I should probably...okay. One of these questions you were gonna be asked was 'should Jericho be punished?'.
ALI, sad: Oh...
AUSTIN: Um, I'm gonna change that. To a different question now.
[DRE giggles]
ALI: The answer to that question was noooo!
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART, incredulous: Of course he should!
AUSTIN: Let's move on!
(overlapping)
ART: He killed- he killed a guy!
AUSTIN: Let's-
KEITH: It's like the fucking skeleton thing all over again! But that was just a skeleton, that wasn't just a weird spell!
[ALI laughs]
JACK: Hang on a second! Also, Art- you- what happened was you [laughs]
AUSTIN, laughing: Jack's gonna get it!
JACK: You said, 'It's okay, I've killed monsters for our Lord', and then you snapped his neck?
AUSTIN: Yep! That just happened!
ALI: Right! Like...what?! [Laughs]
KEITH: I know!
AUSTIN: There's another thing that happened there, which is that Art killed the guy who could...who could...you know, in public, say exactly what Lucius said to him. That guy's dead on the ground now.
(overlapping)
JACK: So...that skeleton...I think we've upgraded the skeleton kill!
ALI: Oh, Art can talk to him though…
AUSTIN, laughing: Art could keep asking him questions, oh no!
[Everyone hysterically laughing]
ART, unamused: I'm not gonna do it!
AUSTIN: You ARE???
ART: I'm not!
AUSTIN: Okay, okay.
KEITH: You're not gonna keep asking him questions?
AUSTIN: Let's move on.
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: 11 P.
JACK: Art...you dinged that one, Art! You dinged that one.
KEITH: Put that body- that's- yeah, at least fuckin give that body to the Lance!
ALI: Oh, leave it- no. This is-
KEITH, laughing: Be like, 'I killed this guy.'
ALI: Hadrian leaves, he walks out. Let's just-
AUSTIN: Um.
DRE: Boy.
ART: You told me to be Hadrian! That's Hadrian!
[Audio echoes]
AUSTIN: That's Hadrian. I agree. That was good play. That's lawful, lawful-
ALI: Oh...
KEITH: ??? 2:25:37 more Hadrian than Hadrian!
AUSTIN: Lawful is a hell of a thing. Alright.
ART: I mean, I could have made it-
KEITH: But that's not Lawful! He was already working for the law!
AUSTIN: No. It is not. He was a criminal. Hadrian's alignment, which is from the book, says 'deny mercy to a criminal or unbeliever'. That is Lawful.
KEITH: No, what I'm saying is- the fucking Golden Lance, he's working for an organisation that is doing- it's giving justice, right? (AUSTIN: Yeah?) And they just would have killed him anyway!
AUSTIN: Yeah!
(overlapping)
DRE: Okay- there's no point arguing about this because it's done.
KEITH: The Lance- so like, so basically he took-
AUSTIN: All he did was jump ahead. Yeah. It's done, we've gotta move on, it's late.
KEITH: Alright. So mad.
ALI: We will have this talk as soon as we're done.
DRE: I am also mad. But it is the most Hadrian thing to do.
AUSTIN: The clock rings elven times- it was, I agree. That was well in character. The clock at the- sorry, the bell at the temple of Samothes, at the moment you break his neck, rings eleven times. One after another. I wish Jack was in his own house so that we could just- that could magically happen. I know it's not 11 o'clock there. But- uh, it's some other, much later time there. I'm so sorry Jack, we're on the final turn, we'll get there bud. [JACK laughs] Where are you going?
JACK: Bed.
DRE: Lucius? I think Lucius is the only thing left, right?
ALI: Yeah...
KEITH: Let's just all go to Lucius.
JACK: We could all just go to Lucius, right?
HADRIAN: Technically the same thing that let me kill that guy lets me kill Lucius right now, I'm just saying.
AUSTIN: Sure.
(overlapping)
ALI: [laughs] And then we're gonna go to those two ladies, and be like 'hey we killed everyone.'
KEITH: Why would we do that? If we kill Lucius then we would fail the investigation! [KEITH and ALI laugh] We don't have any physical evidence!
DRE: Dice!
JACK: Do I kill Morbash as well?
ART: Also, I- I'm- his confession to me is worth something, right? Like...he confessed to me, I'm saying he confessed to me...
AUSTIN, nonchalant: Yeah, well. I'm just saying maybe he had more info, but that's fine.
ALI: Yeah...probably.
JACK: Wait, hang on-
KEITH: Wait. Are you gonna- after this is over, are you gonna reveal everything and how he fucked up? And how Art ruined it for us?
AUSTIN: Hmmm, I'm not sure yet. I haven't decided yet. I have answers in front of me. We'll see.
DRE: Alright, is there anyone else we want to talk to?
(overlapping)
KEITH: Yeah! Art! Forever, and never again.
JACK: Lem wants to see the fireworks.
DRE: Alright, is there anyone we want to talk to, serious answers only please.
AUSTIN: Keep a path, Dre.
JACK:....fireworks. That's a serious answer.
DRE: Oh, fireworks are important.
JACK: No, for real. If we're looking into our hearts and playing our characters, Lem thinks he's won. There are fireworks.
DRE: But that's not until 12. It's 11.
JACK: But it's the last turn.
AUSTIN: It is the last turn. The fireworks will be happening after this turn. So it's after this turn.
ART: Are they still gonna do fireworks in the blizzard? Isn't that shit dangerous?
AUSTIN: Uh, we'll see. We'll see-we'll see where we're at, at the end of this.
ART: Every house burnt down because fireworks flew into them.
KEITH: I think that- I think that the benefit to having a +4 roll when we're talking to the Prelate is maybe a good idea?
AUSTIN: You're-you're done rolling with the Prelate.
KEITH: Oh, okay. Well- one person go there and we don't have to all roll there, then.
DRE: But what else- what- I feel like us having- all of us, all of our powers combined.
AUSTIN: If you think you're done- Right. That's...that's the other way to think about it, is just like...
KEITH: I'm going to the Prelate, definitely.
ART: I guess the thing we don't know from the Prelate-[audio cuts out]-free the Ordennan guy.
KEITH: That might just be a totally unrelated thing.
JACK: I think that's another...just another...an odd person who came and talked to....wait a second, hang on, no, there's something there that I've forgotten.
ART: Oh, that's just the penance...the guy was- felt bad about getting that guy jailed for no reason?
JACK: Cold heart, that's what I was thinking about. But I think that's just coincidence.
DRE: And I think it can also be like, that serves as a pretty good distraction from...like...(ART: Murder?) the murder. You know?
ART: Is it coincidence? Ugh, why would you want your crimes on the same night?
DRE: I don't think it's a coincidence...I think...I think it is almost maybe on his part an intentional red herring.
JACK: His crime and our crime...are the same damn crime! [Ali laughs] Maybe...maybe not. I don't know.
KEITH: I'm gonna go to the Prelate, I won't- I can't let Hadrian be the only person who goes there.
DRE: Yeah.
ART: I don't think I'm going back there!
ALI: Yeah, I don't think Hadrian wants to have another conversation- well,
KEITH: You just said, you just said in the Skype chat 'guys, I'm gonna get Lucius. I promise.'
[Austin and Ali giggle]
KEITH: You wrote that!
ART: I didn't mean right now!
[Ali makes a frowning noise]
(overlapping)
ART: Lucius I'm gonna turn in to the law.
KEITH, incredulous: You're gonna wait on this? THIS is the one you're gonna wait on??
[Ali and Jack laugh]
DRE: Sick old man? Fuck him, murder him in his bed. I'm gonna wait to get this priest, though.
JACK: It's okay. He's killed demons too.
ART: Whoa! Drug addict murderer man.
KEITH: That's- that doesn't make him a bad person!
ART: Murderer does!
DRE, tired: Okay okay okay okay. Where are we going? Art, where are you going, then?
ART: I don't know what else I need to know. I guess yeah, I guess...what's gonna happen if I was just like 'yeah, we found it out and I killed all of them.'
KEITH: Art you just got super loud buddy.
AUSTIN: You got really loud!
ART: Ah, it's 'cos my mic fucked up.
JACK: Yeah. Yeah you did!
KEITH: Yeah, that's the part we knew.
ART: I'm gonna mute myself, and be back when this fixes itself.
DRE: Okay, here's the one other person I can think of we can talk to. And that would be going back to the rat guys to be like 'okay, I need a blow by blow of what happened.'
AUSTIN: Do you think you can get that?
JACK: There's also the fish boys. Bishop, the son. Hey, Art!
KEITH: I think Gumshoe Dick can get a blow by blow!
[Everyone scoffs and laughs]
DRE: If we roll in there in force....maybe.
AUSTIN: Again, I wanna remind you, that's like...their spot. That's like....dozens of rat boys. Like, I don't- me, the GM...One- I don't want this to turn into a fight because like...uh, part of me says that's the one place in this game, in this- in this city, where a fight would have to be a fight. Like a rolled fight. And I don't wanna- we're not doing that tonight. (DRE: Yeah. That's fair.) Two, is like- I gave everything that they're willing to give you there. You could go there and use powers and shit, but like...I gave you the 12 on that. You know? Which is...what they said happened. And that's it, you know?
ART: (Do we want to get) the Golden Lance people to meet us somewhere?
AUSTIN: You're going to meet them at midnight, after this turn. And you can decide where to meet them, sure.
KEITH: I think- I just think, I think there's...ambiguity here on what exactly happened, but for the most part we fuckin know like...all of the shit that we need to...win? To finish. And do a, and save the people from the other side of the Golden Lance. [PAUSE] I'm going to Prelate. I'm going to P.
ALI: Yeah.
[PAUSE]
DRE: Mmm. There's one place I can think Throndir would go.
AUSTIN: Where's that?
DRE: To find Mitta and to tell her to get out of town.
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: That's totally- listen. That's totally viable.
DRE: Yeah. I think that's what Thronidir wants to do. He wants to find Mitta and tell her to get out of town.
AUSTIN: These NPCs are now in this world, like. If you've got something to tell someone....like, even though there's no more...that's totally fine.
KEITH: Um...[PAUSE] I just wanna read my number one bond right now, that I almost got rid of because I thought it was irrelevant, because we're not together anymore- 'I sense a great danger from Hadrian'
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: Beautiful. Let's pick where you're going.
ART: I'm underrated- I'm criminally underrated. Um...I wanna go somewhere else. But I can't- I can't come up with a reason not to go back to the church.
KEITH (over Art): People don't underrate you.
AUSTIN: Okay.
DRE: And maybe- can I, can I just send a messenger to tell Mitta to get out of town, and go with them to the church? [AUSTIN makes thinking noises] No, because that would be using the Golden Lance's resources (AUSTIN: Yeah...) and the whole point would be to save her from the Golden Lance.
AUSTIN: Yeah, and they- yes. You could do that, I don't think the Golden Lance would be pleased with you...
[Ali giggles]
AUSTIN: Yeah, you could go do that. You could go tell her that. Yourself. That is it. I'm not gonna let you use their abilities to do it.
DRE: Yeah.
ALI: Do we get more questions if more of us go to the uh...to Lucius?
AUSTIN: You'll all be there. Like, for the scene. I'm gonna make this a scene. A proper scene, you know what I mean? Like this isn't a, I'm not reading anything from this at this point.
JACK: Oh, is this a three line whip? Should I go there?
AUSTIN: It sounds like you should, maybe. Unless you have something else in mind to do, which is totally feasible and good and fine.
(overlapping)
JACK: I was legitimately thinking fireworks, but I mean…
ART: I wanna, uh...
AUSTIN: The fireworks haven't started yet. The fireworks will happen in the final scene.
JACK: Oh cool. Cool, cool, cool. Then...
ART: I guess the thing I want to know, that isn't at the church, is more about...this whole Fantasmo nonsense. (AUSTIN: Sure.) But like...I-I could find that out tomorrow, probably.
[Keith and Ali chuckle]
ALI: Yeah...that's like big game stuff.
ART: Whereas this shit's poppin off now.
ALI: Yeah.
JACK: I-I will sacrifice going to the thing, to go and see...um...uh...what's his name, Austin? Lael Rankine. The elf fisherman, right?
AUSTIN: Sure. Sure.
JACK: At the west docks. So that's, that's where I'm going. F4.
AUSTIN: That's a good- yes. Okay. Who's left. Hella?
ALI: Um...I guess I'll go to the church, just 'cause I wanna sort of...I think that's the guy. (AUSTIN: Yep, that's fair.) So that makes the most sense for me to do that.
AUSTIN: And then...and then, yeah. Hadrian, you're also going there?
ART: Yeah, I'm not happy about it.
AUSTIN: Alright, well I'm moving you there. Let's start with Lem. Lem, gimme a roll.
ART: I thought I was already there?
AUSTIN: You're right- oh yeah, you were under it. Okay, that's fine.
DRE: Actually, I- hmm...I'm changing my mind. I'm going to the church.
AUSTIN: You are, you're not going to tell Mitta...Mitta, is that right? Is that her name? (JACK and DRE: Yeah) Okay, to get out. You're not-
DRE: I'm gonna hope, Throndir's gonna trust she has enough common sense to know that she should get out of dodge.
AUSTIN: Uhhh, I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna tell you right now, you have- this is a decision you're making.
[PAUSE]
DRE: Fuck it, no, I'm gonna go find her.
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: Okay. South net. Okay.
JACK: Okay, I'm rolling.
AUSTIN: Give me a roll- seven, seven's not bad. Alright. Seven's not great, seven's not bad. Uh, so...you...one second, let me actually find this part of the thing. There we go.
So the water- the docks at this point are mostly dead. Uh, there had been earlier, when folks were down here looking for the rats, some activity of people partying, and also some people working. At this point, most of the people working have gone indoors, or have gone below decks on their ships. There is still one man running from ship to ship, and that is Lael Rankine. Who...did not have today off. He is a bearded elf, who has salt and pepper hair, and a dark complexion. Who was on, you find out, The Sweet Fragments when it went down. He served on that ship with Jericho. And that was the day that he decided he was more of a shore man than a boat man. And now he works the docks in a kind of managerial role. He's currently going between ships to make sure that they are supplied with materials to survive the storm. You get a question here, but he doesn't have more for you on a seven. [Jack sighs] And he doesn't- and he doesn't...he does not give up any more information about Jericho, or that trip. He kind of says it in passing.
AUSTIN (as Lael): Used to be on The Sweet Fragments, then that whole thing went down. Now, I find myself to be more of a shore man than a boat man.
JACK: Okay.
AUSTIN: So you get a question.
JACK: Um, and I find this out through the expression on his face, and the way that he talks with the little he gives me, and maybe a scrap of pattern magic- but I want to know what Jericho was like before he lost Bishop.
AUSTIN: He was...such a happy father. He loved his kids and his wife. He was...he was torn his whole life about what his son should be. He didn't want his son following in his footsteps in one hand, because he knew what he did was dangerous work. He wasn't just a fisherman, he didn't just cast a net into the sea. He went after the big things. He went after the trophies. And he always say that in himself as a sort of a....he knew he was chasing a high his whole life, and he didn't want to see that in his son, but at the same time...his son was so proud of him that it was hard to keep his son away.
JACK: Great. Cool. Well, I reckon that's- I reckon that's me.
AUSTIN: Throndir. You find her. She is, as requested, she stayed in her place. Her place is a sty. Her place is like...not because it's- sorry. Not a sty. A sty is wrong. It's just bare, and so by bareness' sake, like clothes are on the floor because she doesn't have a place to put them but the floor. You know what I mean? She has a mat on the floor to sleep on. It is cold here. Which is fine for her, because she's a snow elf. But...for anybody else, it would just be...this is terrible. It's four floors up on an old abandoned house, or like old abandoned apartment complex. The building is barely standing. But it's hers, and no one will come take it from her because it's in such shitty shape. (DRE: Yeah.) You tell her to leave, and she does. She knows the snow, like you know the snow, and can slip away. Evading the patrols, just barely, but getting away. She says she'll head south, she'll go...she'll go to Velashina, the little village.
Hadrian, Fero and Hella. The temple is filled at this point, still, with people. Warm, singing. Lucius is nowhere to be found. In the public areas. You....talk to some people that you know. Again Hadrian, you've been in this church for so long. In this temple for so, so long, that you know everybody here. They recognise you. A few of them are a little standoffish. They saw your confrontation with Lucius earlier, and...or they've heard that something happened. But you find someone who trusts you, and who remembers what you've done for them. In fact, I'll say that you find the woman who lead that halfling contingent who moved here at the very, very beginning of this game. And she tells you that Lucius was the one who went up to ring the eleven o'clock bell. So you climb the tower and you find him there. What do you do?
ART: All three of us are up there?
AUSTIN: All three of you are up there.
KEITH: Mmhmm.
ART (as Hadrian): Lucius...it's...it's over. We...we know everything.
AUSTIN (as Lucius): What do you know?
ART (as Hadrian): I know-
[PAUSE]
KEITH (as Fero): Alright, so some of this stuff is a little bit fuzzy. [Everyone giggles] But like basically...so basically we know that you're working with the orcs.
AUSTIN: Whoa, whoa! Oh, Fero. Oh Fero.
(overlapping)
AUSTIN: Fero's so casual!
ALI, laughing: This is- this is kind of a moment to uh…
ART: Burying the lede, too.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
KEITH: Murdering was the first-
KEITH (as Fero): We know you're working with the orcs, and you were both- you both wanted to get that fuckin book,
ALI (as Hella): Stop- stop talking!
KEITH (as Fero): You both wanted to get the book, and they were like 'alright, burglary.' and then you were like, 'nah, kill that guy!'.
AUSTIN: He sighs.
KEITH (as Fero): You killed that guy!
JACK: Lucius wasn't-Lucius wasn't working with the orcs, was he? Lucius was just-
KEITH (as Fero): And Hadrian didn't tell you this, but he KNOWS that you're evil.
[Ali and Jack laugh]
JACK, under his breath: Jesus christ.
AUSTIN: He looks at Hadrian and shakes his head.
AUSTIN (as Lucius): I'm disappointed in the company you keep. [Ali laughs] I shouldn't be surprised...first, Fantasmo, now this...little...thing.
KEITH (as Fero): That's so rude!
[Dre laughs]
ART (as Hadrian): He gave me Fantasmo. I didn't want Fantasmo.
ALI: Um...Hella has put her hand on Fero's shoulder and is just gripping him as hard as she can.
AUSTIN (as Lucius): Hadrian, I would have come to you for this, but...it is so large a weight, and you are so bright a star. I would not see you diminish.
KEITH (as Fero): But the other guy can?! That's awful! This guy's awful!
ALI (as Hella), exasperated: Stop talking, stop talking-
KEITH (as Fero): Dude's out here trying to diminish some stars.
AUSTIN (as Lucius): Our Lord has always needed martyrs. That man is blessed, and I think, I hope, will come back to his feet now. He will find a way to live again, and return to his family-
KEITH (as Fero): Oh! Don't even get him started on that!
[Ali laughs]
ART (as Hadrian): That man...is dead. And I had to kill him. Because that is how I serve our Lord. I knew that-
AUSTIN (as Lucius): You are a sword, you should not swing yourself!
ART (as Hadrian): You put him in my path! You know what I do.
AUSTIN (as Lucius): You left Samothes' path, somewhere. Somewhere out there. I don't know whose path you're on now, not anymore.
AUSTIN: The sword at your side, Hella, comes alive. And starts singing of a day a thousand years ago. I wish I had the song to play for you, I probably should have told Jack about this a while ago, but- you can't shut them up.
And they sing of how Samothes, who granted us the tools to make our bridges and our homes, and who granted us the weapons to defend ourselves, began to lose favour with the people. Because another man, another boy, gave them more than tools. He gave them the knowledge to build their own tools. The knowledge to build their own weapons. And the wine to drink when they were done. But Samothes was the right god, Samothes was the true god, and so when that boy built his tower out in the woods, Samothes knew it was time to teach him a lesson. That Samothes was the one who builds things. Towers were for Samothes. Building was for Samothes. Knowledge was for Samothes. Not...Samot. Lucius looks at you, and says-
AUSTIN (as Lucius): Whose path are you walking, Hadrian?
[PAUSE]
ART (as Hadrian): I'm not- I'm not walking this path. I'm not walking the path that...that-that tells sad, drug-addled people to kill.
AUSTIN (as Lucius): You should read the texts more closely.
AUSTIN: And he starts to walk towards the stairs down.
AUSTIN (as Lucius): I have to attend to my people. They need me. Tell the Lance what you will, but right now they need me.
ART (as Hadrian): [sighs] That doesn't make it okay.
AUSTIN (as Lucius): [scoffs] You're a boy, if you think that this is about what is okay. I stopped...I can die, knowing what I stopped was necessary to be...you wouldn't understand.
AUSTIN: And he goes, if no one stops him.
ART: Probably shouldn't push him off the tower.
AUSTIN: Probably shouldn't. If you want to, now's the time. No roll. You can do it.
KEITH (as Fero): Wait hold on, what'd you stop? Wait, let's talk about that! What do you think you stopped, buddy?
AUSTIN: He turns and says,
AUSTIN (as Lucius): He does not know it, but Fantasmo and what he's done in his life, is- it's more dangerous than what I first thought. I stopped an absolute catastrophe today. And if you're wise, you'll let my work go. Punish me, if you want, but do not intercept my plans. The book will be safe with the Archivists. Let them have it, and keep it away from his disciples.
KEITH (as Fero): Right, so here's the thing. I think there's like a huge miscommunication between you two, because, listen. Hadrian super doesn't want Fantasmo to have that book either!
AUSTIN: He leaves.
[Ali laughs]
KEITH (as Fero): Listen no!
AUSTIN: He leaves.
KEITH (as Fero): I just want- I'm just-
AUSTIN: He's gone
KEITH (as Fero): What I'm trying to get to is that BOTH of y'all are assholes!
[Jack and Ali laugh]
ART (as Hadrian): I don't think any reasonable person could think Fantasmo should have that book.
ALI (as Hella): It's true.
DRE (as Throndir): I'm okay with it.
KEITH (as Fero): I'm okay with it.
AUSTIN: It sounds like the new parties just made themselves!
JACK (as Lem): I'm NOT okay with it.
AUSTIN: It sounds like we know where season 2 of friends at the table, what the party composition might look like! The fireworks go off, as Throndir and Lem make it back to the temple.
KEITH: I do wanna add a side note. 'I'm okay with it' is an oversimplification of my feelings about that book, but-
AUSTIN: Lucius is downstairs and is sitting in the front row as a choir sings to the fireworks going off behind them, the fireworks hitting in the snow, clearing blotches of the sky behind them. Of course, you're right, some of these fireworks do hit houses, old houses, and set them aflame. Bits of the northern district are gone, in ash. But sometimes religion requires sacrifice. Those houses were likely empty anyway. Or, whoever was stuck in them was...stuck.
At midnight, the Golden Lance arrives. The doors are flung open. Lucius has just taken the podium. But the whole room falls still. And they go to you. They have some questions.
Let's start from the easy stuff. Where is Therat Saal? [PAUSE] Here's a question. I have a couple questions here. This is me, Austin, the GM. I kinda have two ways in mind with dealing with this. One is we can vote for these answers. The other is there are ways we can determine who 'wins' an argument. If one happens to come up. [Ali giggles] 'cause my guess is there might be some things here that people are not in agreement with. Would you rather vote on these, or roll with like charisma or Int or...Wis, maybe if you can make a deductive argument or something? Or- not a deductive, but a- an evidential argument? This is on y'all.
ART: Should we like, cross the- should we figure out what the stat is when we get there?
AUSTIN: That makes sense.
KEITH: Yeah I like- Yeah, I like that.
AUSTIN: Would you rather roll than vote? You'd rather roll than vote.
KEITH: I'd rather roll than vote.
DRE: Yeah I think that's more...
ALI: Yeah it'll be faster.
JACK: When, uh- no, the problem, wait no- the problem with rolling is that it comes down to dice!
AUSTIN (over Jack): Okay, that's good. It does.
JACK: And we might end up with just luck- luck of the draw, and end up screwing up the case because the dice went weird.
ALI: Okay, yeah.
AUSTIN: Well no-
KEITH: That's just how- that's how...this game works always, anyway.
AUSTIN: Right right, we're still- we're not deciding if you're right or wrong, we're deciding whose truth is being put forward.
JACK: Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. That makes sense.
AUSTIN: You know what I mean, if there's a conflict between players. So- but I'm guessing- where is Therat Saal? Is everyone...what are people-
ART: Yeah he's at the embassy.
JACK: He's on the warship.
KEITH: Yeah he's on that embassy.
DRE: He's on the embassy.
ART: He's on the embassy-
AUSTIN: Okay.
JACK: Yeah, yeah.
AUSTIN: Should Therat Saal...should Therat Saal be punished?
KEITH: No!
ALI: No.
DRE: No.
ART: No.
JACK: No.
AUSTIN: Who broke Therat Saal out of prison, and why? Under whose orders?
JACK: Uh, Mitta...under the orders of...Prelate Lucius.
DRE: Do we...
KEITH: Well hold on, it was-
DRE: We don't need to say her name, do we?
[Ali and Dre laugh]
JACK: Oh, wait - we're saying this to the- okay. Oh!
AUSTIN: This is the question. I'm asking- you guys can talk among yourselves, and then tell me. Final answer.
KEITH: I say, 'Someone broke...broke Saal out under the orders of Prelate Lucius.'
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: No, I'm not naming my people and letting your people go!
[Ali laughs]
KEITH: Well they're not my people- neither of them are my people!
[overlapping]
JACK: Wait, so the only possible answer is 'someone broke them out, under the orders of someone'?
KEITH: I just think that one of them is- it was a person hired to do a thing, and did it- did it well and without hurting anybody-
AUSTIN: No, no! Three guards were murdered.
KEITH: -and then the other one is an *evil priest*!. Oh, yeah. Good point. [Ali laughs] Yeah. It was Mitta, and then it was- and then it was Saal [Lucius].
ART: Well-!
[Austin and Ali laugh]
DRE: Okay. Let's- here is, here is the factual, full response to this question. This is not the one we're giving, but, this- these are the facts as we know it.
AUSTIN: Yes, yes. Thank you.
DRE: Umm...Lucas came to- Lucas and his wife framed the prince, in order to get him imprisoned because he disproved of his son's relationship with the prince. Feeling guilty over that, and seeing his son's sadness, he went to Father Lucius, not to ask him to do him anything, but in order to get religious counsel and pray to Samothes, saying that if he could see his son happy again, he would do basically anything. Or, he would- he would give up the warmth of his heart. Lucius, seeing his flock member's sadness, hired Mitta, a mercenary, to break the Ordennan out of prison. That is the- the factual events.
ART: And then three people died.
DRE: Oh, yeah. She killed three people in the process.
KEITH: Yeah. I'm giving up- I vote give up Mitta, I vote give up Lucius.
ALI: Austin, is the next question, the next question is 'Does she deserve to be punished?'
AUSTIN: I don't know!
ALI: Okay, you're not gonna tell us.
[overlapping]
KEITH: Hold on, I-
ART: Yeah, you – I’ll vote for giving up Mitta.
JACK: You know, Austin.
ART: I vote for giving up Mitta
ART: Meta-wise, she's gone. What do you care if they know she did it? She's gone.
KEITH, incredulous: Also, I wanna go back for a second! Art said 'I guess I'm the only one not okay with murder' - you fuckin snapped that dude's neck, you weirdo!
AUSTIN: We'll get there! We'll get there!
[overlapping protests]
AUSTIN: Guys. Guys, guys, guys.
ART: I executed him!
AUSTIN: Guys. [clapping] It's almost midnight.
DRE: I'm good with giving all of the facts. I'm good with giving all of the facts.
ALI: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Alright, okay. Everybody's good with that. Okay. Should Mitta be punished?
KEITH: Yes.
ALI: No- no. No!
JACK: Hmmm....
DRE: No.
AUSTIN: Alright, this sounds like a roll. Who wants to roll it?
KEITH: I wanna roll it.
AUSTIN: Alright, Keith-
KEITH: I wanna- uh, wait. No. I'm not gonna ro- No! I have higher charisma than, than Art, right?
DRE: I feel like I should be rolling for the 'no' part.
AUSTIN: I agree.
DRE: I think Throndir has the biggest dog in this part.
AUSTIN: Throndir should be- yes. So go ahead and give me your roll, and then let's do-
DRE: What are we rolling?
ART: [audio breaking up] Work- put our- charismas,
AUSTIN: Charismas.
ART: Uh, my charisma is a 16.
KEITH: Uh, mine is...when I look at my thing...my charisma is 16 also.
DRE: Well, I rolled a 5 so....
KEITH: Oh no, 9. So you go.
AUSTIN: Okay soooooo
ALI: Don't worry about it!
AUSTIN: Okay. Go ahead and roll it.
DRE: Someone just fuckin roll against me.
AUSTIN: Just- Art roll it. Okay.
DRE: There you go.
AUSTIN: She should be punished. She is also already en route out of the city. Um, who has the book of life? [PAUSE] Which is the book that you recovered from Eventide?
JACK: The Archivists.
DRE: The Archivists.
JACK: Well, presumably Elgash Or? Or- or- or it's arrived at the New Archives.
DRE: Elgash.
AUSTIN: Okay, are you-
DRE: It's Elgash.
AUSTIN: Are you telling them this?
JACK, nervously: Uh...hmm...
DRE: Yes.
ART: Yes.
KEITH: Yes.
ALI: Yeah.
JACK: Yes.
ART: Lawful's an easy alignment, you guys.
JACK: Yes, I am telling them this, because if they want to go and get it, the Archives is inside a mountain, and it's guarded by literally thousands of orcs.
AUSTIN: No! No no no no no- he's not there yet.
KEITH: They have him, at the checkpoint.
AUSTIN: He's at E3, right now.
JACK: Oh, yeah!
AUSTIN: This is what I'm saying. They can go get him right this second. They could break up that whole thing.
JACK: [makes an uncomfortable sound] Well,
KEITH: Jack. Do you want the Archives to have this book?
JACK: The Archives- yes.
AUSTIN: Then-
KEITH: I super don't.
JACK: You know what the Archives do, right? They just take things and put them in safe places.
DRE: Okay, so we're rolling. We are rolling.
AUSTIN: We're rolling. We're rolling, Jack, roll versus someone else.
KEITH: I- I feel like this, I feel like the Archives getting this book and the things they wanna do with it is the crux for what I don't want.
AUSTIN: Yes. Lem and, Lem and Fero are completely opposite ends of that ideology. Fero wants to burn it all down, Lem loves it. So Lem roll-
DRE (over Austin): Is this a charisma roll again?
KEITH: I- I would go...
JACK: Hold on, sorry- Lem's motivation for this, to be clear, is just that it will be entombed in stone. (AUSTIN: Mmm.) And watched.
AUSTIN: And protected.
JACK: So what am I rolling?
AUSTIN: Charisma.
JACK: Okay. Hold on. Can I just click my charisma stat?
ALI: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Yeah, I think so. You should be able to.
JACK: Yeah. Huh.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
DRE: Oh buddy.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: There it is. Alright. [Jack sighs] So, what do you tell them? Do you just tell them the Book of Life is- is in the...is in the wind? Basically?
JACK: Is in the wind?
AUSTIN: Uh, is lost. Is gone.
JACK: Um....
DRE: You could tell them it's in the Archives.
JACK: No, I tell them it's in the Archives.
AUSTIN: Okay. You tell them it's already in the Archives.
JACK: Yeah. Like, I don't think Lem is opposed to them going and getting it if they want, they've just gonna have to fill in a ticket.
AUSTIN: Okay. Do you tell them-
[They all laugh]
DRE: You need a library card!
AUSTIN: Do you tell them that Elgash Or has it. Or had it.
JACK: [laughs] No. No, I tell them Morbash has it.
AUSTIN: Do you?
JACK: Yes.
[They laugh]
DRE: Nice!
ALI: Fantastic!
KEITH: Oh wow.
AUSTIN: Should Morbash be punished?
[Ali gasps]
DRE: Yes!
JACK: No, no. [Dre groans in disappointment] I can't- no. Like, if I'm following this line of logic, the reason I'm telling them Morbash has it is 'cos he's...really nasty. And so, saying he should be punished for that doesn't seem like it makes sense.
AUSTIN: Okay.
DRE: Okay. Then- yeah, let's say no.
JACK: Also I'm kind of getting Morbash back for the whole...
AUSTIN: Yeah.
JACK: I'm doing a manhunt-hunt
AUSTIN: Is Fantasmo guilty of something?
[PAUSE]
ART: Yeah, probably.
ALI: Um, I will say yes to that!
KEITH: No. Well,
ART: I mean...like, right now?
ALI: Wait, no, no.
DRE: No.
ALI: He's just been chillin
KEITH: Floatin!
AUSTIN: So no. The answer is no?
KEITH: No.
ALI: No.
KEITH: No. Should he be punished...?
ALI: I mean, we can talk about this later, if you want. [laughs]
DRE: He's guilty of being a total elf bro!
AUSTIN: Who has Fantasmo's book and wher- oh, we already did that, right right right. Sorry, I did it in reverse order. Okay. Who killed Gregalos?
Everyone at once: Jericho.
KEITH: The Prelate did! [chuckles] No, it was Jericho.
AUSTIN: Okay.
DRE: Jericho, under orders of the Prelate.
ART: It's- that's probably a different question.
AUSTIN: What was Jericho- what was Jericho's motive?
JACK: Um...
KEITH: Religious absolution.
JACK: Under orders from-
ART: Can I get a- can I get a, can I cast a spell here real quick?
[Ali giggles]
AUSTIN: Sure.
ART: I'd like- I'd like guidance.
AUSTIN: Heh, that doesn't, there's not gonna be...a symbol that tells you an answer, it's a, a direction, like what way to go, right?
ART: No, isn't it like...
KEITH: No just a vague communication of the will of Samothes.
DRE: Yeah...
AUSTIN: Read me the thing.
ART, reading: The direction or course of action-
AUSTIN: Or course of action.
ART: - your deity would have you take. Then disappears. The message is gesture only. I can give you some ideas for gestures if you want.
[They laugh]
[overlapping]
DRE: Fuckin sword chopping down on Lucius' neck.
AUSTIN: What are your ideas for gestures?
ART: I mean like...we're in a, they're both here in the room...
AUSTIN: Right, but- um...
ART: Tell me whose side I'm on.
AUSTIN: Tell me how Samothes would show you that he's angry with you.
[PAUSE]
ART: You know...a...a...
[Ali and Jack laughs]
DRE: A frowny face!
ALI: No answer? Or does that not-
AUSTIN: No, no- he succeeds!
ART: That's not a course of action...
AUSTIN: It isn't. It isn't. This is what I'm trying to say. This is what I'm trying to...how would he tell you...to knock it off? Or to butt out?
ART: I don't....I don't know
AUSTIN: Earlier he did it by showing you the door. Now I think...
KEITH: Show you the floor! Knock him down!
AUSTIN: Boom! Um, your ring falls off your finger.
ART, dejected: Okay.
ALI: That's dramatic.
ART: That's probably just 'cause it's [inaudible]
AUSTIN: Yeah, it's just. Y'know.
ART: Um. So I guess I'm rolling against whoever wants to tell them it was Lucius.
ALI: Which is everyone...else?
AUSTIN: I think it's everyone.
KEITH: Yeah.
DRE: Man, we should have done votes!
[They laugh]
KEITH: I will do- I mean, I will roll with-for wisdom on that.
ALI: Yeah I don't have any wisdom
ART: Why is it wisdom?
AUSTIN: No, why- how are you making-
KEITH: Because of- because of the ton of fuckin evidence!
AUSTIN: Is there? What's your physical evidence?
KEITH: That Lucius told...uh...Jericho to-
JACK: Is this some new meaning of physical? I don't-
[Ali laughs]
AUSTIN: Yeah, I don't think that's physical.
KEITH: I didn't- did I say physical evidence?
[overlapping]
AUSTIN: I said what's your physical evidence. What's your physical evidence?
DRE: The diary is all we have.
KEITH: Oh, physical evidence!
AUSTIN: The diary- but he has a, he has an alibi for that. He explained it was the sun.
DRE: I know, I know.
ART: Yeah in fact, the only evidence of any kind is stuff just said to me directly.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
KEITH: But that you told us all, and then also, fuck- me and Ali were there.
ALI, laughing: So we're just gonna...
DRE: Because we've been doing that this whole time.
AUSTIN: Right. That was established.
KEITH: Yeah.
ALI: We're all just gonna be like 'well Hadrian told us...' and he is just gonna be like 'no no no. Nope!'
AUSTIN: Someone roll.
DRE: Someone roll charisma.
KEITH: Alright, what are we rolling?
JACK: Well if we're rolling charisma maybe I should roll.
AUSTIN: It's either charisma if you're trying to like, paint the picture...I guess I could like, I could conceive of intelligence if it's about like, pure logic. Y'know, like pure...sherlockian deduction.
DRE: I'm not doing either one of those rolls.
KEITH: Those are my two worst stats, so...not me.
DRE: Yup, me too.
JACK: Uh....Hadrian, what's your charisma?
AUSTIN: No, no. How are you doing it?
KEITH: I could roll strength and punch him in the face!
ART: I'll- strength roll you!
KEITH: Yeah!
DRE: Jack, roll something.
AUSTIN: Yeah, Jack probably roll charisma.
JACK: uhh okay!
AUSTIN: Oof!
DRE: Yes! Get fucked, Prelate!
AUSTIN: Alright.
JACK: I played the violin.
AUSTIN: What was...Lucius' motivation?
DRE: Uh, he was...he was concerned that the Book of Life that was in Fantasmo's possession would lead to a great catastrophe. Yeah?
ART: He's a rogue agent acting irresponsibly.
AUSTIN: Hmm..
DRE: Ooh.
KEITH: I would say both of those as one answer.
JACK: He's a Prelate! I don't think he's a rogue agent!
[Ali and Jack laugh]
AUSTIN: Those are- those are important, that's-
ART: Now that I've lost my first roll, I'm minimising damage.
AUSTIN: That's an important distinction though. Is he a rogue agent or isn't he is an important distinction.
DRE: He absolutely isn't.
JACK: No. To be perfectly honest-
KEITH: Well, we don't know, because we only have the context of the two of them. 50% of them are the Prelate, and 50% of them are not-
AUSTIN: Or there's all of these other people who are here. But what you're gonna tell them is important. 'Hey, this one dude goofed' versus 'There is something inherent in the Church of Samothes that leads to this' is an important difference to make to this group of vigilante you know, super vigilantes.
DRE: When Art was arguing with Lucius, Lucius specifically said- when Art said 'this is not the path of this church', Lucius said 'No, your wrong. Read your text.'
AUSTIN: Right.
JACK: Hang on, I think I made a mistake.
KEITH: But he's also like an evil- he also is an evil, maybe whackadoo.
DRE: Okay, we are rolling again.
AUSTIN: I wanna make sure- this is a roll. Again. So give it up, let's roll it out.
ART: 'He's an evil whackadoo' is the answer I'm giving.
[Ali laughs, echo]
JACK: I- so, no, sorry- two things before we make this roll,
AUSTIN: Yes.
JACK: I think I made a mistake in that roll-
AUSTIN: Did you?
JACK: -is option A, and option B, I don't want go back on that.
AUSTIN: On the mistake.
JACK: Yeah I think it would be cheating. I think that Lem stood up and said something, and then he sat down again. Realised that I made a mistake there.
AUSTIN: I see. So you- the mistake that you made was, you've realised now you didn't want to speak up?
JACK: Yes.
AUSTIN: Okay. But he has to sit with that. And think on it.
JACK: Yes.
AUSTIN: Okay. I like that. Alright. Hadrian says 'Lucius is a rogue agent', everyone else is saying 'He's not a bad guy, he's a dude who did the bad thing 'cause this is what they do'.
KEITH: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Alright. Hadrian versus whoever else wants to make that roll.
ART: I wanna roll second this time.
AUSTIN: Okay. That's fine.
DRE: What are we rolling? Are we rolling [unintelligible]
AUSTIN: Again, you gotta make- I think that's Int or Charisma. I don't think you have any...evidence. I don't think you gathered any of the evidence that would make it...
DRE: None of us are scholars of Samothes literature.
AUSTIN: Right.
DRE: Hella, you wanna try and make a roll? You're the only person who hasn't rolled yet.
ALI: Um...if it's a charisma roll? Maybe....
DRE: Yeah, I'm negative 1 so...
AUSTIN: Dang!
ALI: I'm just-
KEITH: Dang!
ALI: A lot of these I'm taking a backseat on 'cause like...Hella doesn't have a dog in this fight.
AUSTIN: That's fair. That's fair.
KEITH: Does Hella have a dog?
AUSTIN: Oof! Oof! Hadrian...Hadrian might be having his church taken away from him...um...alright.
ART: I'm a member of the Order of the Eternal Princes, I think I outrank Lucius no matter what. I think technically I outranked him.
AUSTIN: Okay. Dr Gloria Lake and Victoria Solomon take great interest in this. They will remember that. Who in Jericho's family should be contacted, and what should they be told? Names would be good.
DRE: Oh, he doesn't even have a family!
AUSTIN: Oh, that's weird, huh. Missed that. Alright, that's good. I'm glad his wife and daughter will not know that his neck was snapped. And that he-
DRE: Thanks murder robot!
KEITH: Well we know- we know that he had a wife and daughter, we just don't know their names!
AUSTIN: Yeah. Yeah.
DRE: Could we say...
JACK: Austin, the alternative here is that he's just gonna be forgotten.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
DRE: Could we point them to the old ship captain? To say he might know?
AUSTIN: Sure. Sure.
DRE: Okay.
KEITH: That guy might know he got his neck snapped. By this guy. By this guy, right here, that I'm pointing at.
AUSTIN: Where's the missing box?
ART: Justice! Justice was given out!
JACK: Sorry?
AUSTIN: Where's the missing box?
DRE: Oh, ff-
ALI: That's a great question.
AUSTIN: It's a good question.
KEITH: We found that splinter!
[horrific echoing begins]
AUSTIN: Mmmhmm.
ART: The Archivists don't have it?
AUSTIN: [makes 'I don't know' sound] They got that book!
JACK: What you looking at me for?
DRE: It's either them or the rats.
[overlapping]
JACK: I don't think we have it.
ART: I dont think Lucius has it.
ART: I don't think Lucius has it.
KEITH: I thought the rats had it.
AUSTIN: These are all good questions.
JACK: No wait, the box was broken – Austin. The box was broken in Greggy's room.
AUSTIN: The- you didn't find the box though, you found the hinge of the box. Someone else-
[overlapping]
ALI: We found a very small piece of it.
KEITH: We did find a splinter.
AUSTIN: Yes.
KEITH?, softly: Fuck.
ART: Well, whoever it is, their box is rapidly disintegrating.
[echoing stops]
ALI: Also, we don't know what's inside of it, so none of us cares! [laughs]
AUSTIN: You should.
ALI, laughing: We should!
AUSTIN: It's the thing you gave Gregalos, and he was killed for! Like...
ALI: Yeah...that's maybe not....
AUSTIN: You know...
JACK: Oh, wait. So- Austin, you know what's inside the box.
AUSTIN: No.
KEITH: Dope.
ALI: We still have to get whatever it is inside.
AUSTIN: Yeah, you don't get it.
DRE: Okay, our answer is we don't know.
KEITH: You should know what is in this box
AUSTIN: Boat party-
KEITH: The box is-
DRE: The is we don't know. Unless we wanna try and pin it on someone, the answer is we don't know.
AUSTIN: Right.
JACK: Right.
AUSTIN: But where is it? Because the book, you know, he was killed for the book. Or he was-
JACK: Morbash has it!
AUSTIN: The book was stolen and it was given to the Archivists, so who knows who has it.
[overlapping]
ART: If he- if he was killed for it, then…
DRE: The only person who was in his room was Jericho
AUSTIN: Right. Well, that's not necessarily true. The only person who killed him in his room was Jericho.
DRE: Okay, the answer is we don't know.
AUSTIN: The answer is you don't know. Right, okay.
ALI: Sorry guys.
AUSTIN: They are...they are mostly impressed with your ability [Ali laughs] I think.
DRE, whispering: Can I keep the hat?
AUSTIN: No.
DRE, sadly: Ohhh
AUSTIN: They tell you they might call on your services again in the future. That...most of you have proved yourselves more than adequate in putting together the pieces of a mystery, even on a day like today. They will...deal...with Lucius themselves, and...hope that you have a fine holiday. [Ali giggles] She nods to you, Victoria Solomon does, unhinges the strange weapon at her side, points it at Lucius, and evaporates him.
ART: She's in- in front of like-
AUSTIN: In front of his flock.
ART: The mass?!
ALI: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
DRE: Awh,
AUSTIN: She holds it above her head, and says,
AUSTIN (as Victoria Solomon): Remember the power of the Golden Lance. We bring justice to those who try to hide in the shadows of your fear and your belief. We are the light bringers.
AUSTIN: Puts it down, and leaves.
DRE: I gotta get me one of those!
ALI: Yeah! How do I join up with them!
JACK: I think-
ALI: Been doing this shit for years!
JACK: I think they're definitely- they're definitely a favourite.
AUSTIN (over Jack): And you get-
ART: I guess I'll go finish services?
[Austin and Ali laugh, horrified]
AUSTIN: No, people are just like, it's...twenty seconds of silence, and then tears, children screaming, people looking at you, confused.
ART: I'll- I'll try and calm them down.
AUSTIN: Sure. I think the end scene for this is-
KEITH: I'll try and calm them down.
AUSTIN: Fero- hmm.
ALI: Hmm,
KEITH: I do a- I turn into a, a-
ALI: No, don't do that!
DRE: No, no.
[overlapped]
AUSTIN: Yeah, they don't need to see a halfling-
ALI: My hand goes on your shoulder once more.
ALI (as Hella): No, it is okay.
JACK (as Lem): Fero, this is not the time.
AUSTIN: No. No, no.
KEITH (over everyone): -cutest puppy! I turn into the cutest little puppy, and I go and I jump around and play with the kids.
ALI (as Hella): This is- this is not even- no, stop it.
JACK (as Lem): Fero. I am Lem King. This is not the time.
AUSTIN: I think the shot- I think the end of this-
DRE: I think this is the end. This is the end.
AUSTIN: -the end of is , you know, in my mind I see...I see Solomon and Lake riding off into the snow, back to the southeast. I see the remaining fireworks finishing over the temple. I see the ashes of Lucius (ALI, quietly: Jesus) resting behind the altar, or the podium maybe where he was standing. Mitta has slipped through the gate, or you know- not the main gate, over the wall let's say, and through the fields of wheat. You know, there are- there are Golden Lance investigators on horses, looking for her, but she escapes.
Elgash Or has settled into a nice little compartment in the basement of Michaud's house and plans to leave in the morning, safe and sound. I'm not sure where the rest of you are. I think we get a shot of the Ordennan prince, Therat Saal on a boat, climbing onto the Ordennan warship, shaking hands with the captain. It fires a single shot over Severia hall, a warning, before it unanchors and drifts away into the storm. And I think, that's it. I feel like I'm forgetting something big. Am I forgetting something big?
KEITH: That would be difficult for us to know.
AUSTIN: It would be, wouldn't it. Oh.
JACK: Oh!
AUSTIN: Do you have a thing?
JACK: I was just gonna say, what happened to that- what happened to that Jericho man?
[Eve’s Light Parade STARTS]
AUSTIN: I- you see, him being found
JACK: What happened to that poor guy?
AUSTIN: Fisher Lacy finds him on the floor. Later that night.
ALI, sadly: Oh, no!
AUSTIN: And after a day of trying to keep everything together for everyone else, she finally lets herself break down in tears. And she collects his things, and she puts the blanket over him, and she sends for the guards. And she burns his clothes.
DRE: Hmm.
AUSTIN: And back in his attic, Fantasmo jumps up, filled with forbidden knowledge. Happy holidays, everyone.
ART: Gonna get some goose nog.
AUSTIN: I'm Austin Walker, you can find me at austin_walker on Twitter, thecalcutec on twitch, clockworkworlds.com, pastemagazine.com/games...uh...I think that's- I think that's me. Who's been joining me? Let's start with Art.
ART: Hey, I'm Art. If you listened to this and wanna tweet at me...maybe just don't.
[Everyone laughs]
AUSTIN: Please tweet at Art. Please tweet at Art.
ART: I'm not gonna give them my twitter handle.
DRE: Hey what's up, neck snapper?
KEITH: @atebbel
ART: Umm! You can read stuff I write at comicmix.com. That's- that's me.
AUSTIN: Ali, where can people find you?
ALI: You can find me at ali_west on Twitter
AUSTIN: Jack de Quidt?
JACK: Um, my name's Jack de Quidt, you can find me at notquitereal on Twitter, and at my games studio website thetalltreesgames.co.uk.
AUSTIN: Andrew Lee Swan?
DRE: Hey, you can find me on twitter at andrewleeswan [Now @swandre3000]
AUSTIN: And Keith Carberry
KEITH: My name's Keith Carberry, you can find me on twitter @keithjcarberry, you can find the let's plays that I do at runbutton.net [not anymore!] or youtube.com/runbutton. You can throw some of your sweet new holiday cash over at contentburger.biz, you can find my tumblr at thickestgoosenog.tumblr.com
[They laugh]
AUSTIN: It's a brand new tumblr, get it while it's hot!
KEITH: All the hottest goose nog
AUSTIN: The hottest iced goose nog
KEITH: The hottest iced goose nog recipes, all for you!
DRE: Oh we should also say, you can find the mind behind Fantasmo @drevilbones, that's where you can find Nick on twitter.
AUSTIN: Yeah. And you can find most of us streaming at streamfriends.tv [nope], that's our archives on youtube, and twitch.tv/streamfriends. I think we're planning at some point in the future to do a real cool friend at the table stream, like kind of a break down, talk about- about stuff.
DRE: Yeah, we'd like that.
AUSTIN: I think after our quote-unquote first season is done, which is once the two campaigns that are running right now are kind of caught up to where- to this game we just had now.
ART: So go for that like, Labor Day weekend.
[They laugh]
JACK: Yeah I was gonna say, and then we're all going to sleep for a month.
AUSTIN: Yeah, exactly.
KEITH: That sounds so good! A nice hibernation is really what I need.
DRE: Enjoy our six hour holiday special!
AUSTIN: I just wanna say thanks again to Craig Sheldon, who did the cover art, and thanks again to Jack, who did the new song that you've heard a couple of times now over these holiday specials. They have both- they're both great, and they're really big parts of what makes this work.
ART: Bring that back for next year's holiday special, which is only 364 days away now!
ALI: You can find that song, and other information about this stuff at friendsofthetable.net. You can find this cool map that we were using for this silly game, and then other maps and uh...stuff.
AUSTIN: And Janine Hawkins made those.
KEITH: You can pay Jack for that song too, at Jack's bandcamp
AUSTIN: Oh you should
KEITH: Jack, what's your bandcamp?
JACK: Um...my bandcamp is, if you just give me just one second, while I check. [pause, he types] It's uh, hotgoosenog.bandcamp
AUSTIN: It's lay-zed-boy at...
KEITH: The thing is, before I- before I put this episode up, I've got to populate thickestgoosenog dot tumblr...
ALI: It's notquitereal
JACK: Yeah, notquitereal.bandcamp.com. And by the- by the time you listen to this, the christmas track will be available to download from there as well.
AUSTIN: Excellent. Thanks so much, everyone.
ART: Did you say 'lay-zed-boy' because that was good? That was a good callback.
AUSTIN: Yeah. It was 'lay-zed-boy'.
ART: I don't know if it was on the recording, though.
AUSTIN: If it wasn't, it- we need to make it somehow. We need to reenact that moment perfectly to get it onto the recording.
DRE: No, it was on- it was on the recording.
ALI: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Alright, good. I think that's it. I'm having a hard time saying goodbye.
DRE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: I feel like, unresolved.
JACK: Happy holidays, everybody!
ALI: Yeah!
AUSTIN: Happy holidays!
[END]