TL;DR:
Last thing I want to say on this whole situation because we’ve talked and worked out our final grievances.
I have apologized to Atsu for some of the distasteful claims I made and previous interactions, and Atsu apologized to me for the things that he did as well.
Atsu is right, many of my claims did not have evidence. A lot of the things I brought up are very nearly impossible to prove, especially when they involve people that I don’t regularly talk to. But after speaking with Atsu and both of us sharing our side of the story, filling in plot-holes and such, I do believe many of the claims I made to be false.
However, that is NOT to say that I lied, as I truly believed everything in the document to be true at the time of writing, and with many others sharing their experiences, I don't think it would be unfair to say that my feelings towards the matter were warranted. Atsu has apologized to me directly for the things he did, and for the things that he did NOT do, he was able to prove to me privately that many were not the case.
The thing with all of this is, I ultimately did feel very isolated and alienated from a large group of creators, and some of the concerns I had were valid considering how Atsu had felt about me at the time. In a way it was vindicating to know I wasn't crazy for feeling that way. But a lot of the other things that happened can be attributed to a 3rd party, bad luck, or coincidence.
I have apologized to Atsu for the each of the personal jabs at him and his character, because the document I wrote was a result of long-term distress over something I didn’t have the answers to and that nobody would help me figure out, and as a result, I said some distasteful things that were not only disrespectful to him, but also his friends.
At the start of everything, I wanted to be his friend, and obviously that outlook changed. If you’ve seen both sides of the story, there was no real obsession with trying to get into his group of friends, but there were many things that appeared that way. I do not fault Atsu for being concerned about it given the circumstances. Both Atsu’s and my own resentment grew as 3rd party interactions soured our perceptions of each other, and ultimately it led to this where both of us had a blatantly wrong idea of the other person.
One thing I wanted to touch on specifically was the “arms length” message, where in his eyes he had made it clear he didn’t want to interact with me. I have never received a message like that before and given how polite and professional it felt, I was under the impression that he didn’t think we would vibe well as friends, NOT that he didn’t wish to speak with me going forward. You can be cordial with someone without being friends, and as a creator who was much more experienced than I was, THAT is why I went to him for financial advice. I was the most experienced creator in my immediate circle of friends at the time, and I had a misinterpretation of that message. With all that said, we cleared that up.
I will not speak on the other parties involved after my initial posting of the document, I will just say thanks to my friends for supporting me through all of this, because coming out with this type of stuff on the internet is hell. Much of what happened is due to years of miscommunication (and complete lack of communication in some instances) and others poisoning the water supply, which brings me to my final point.
There is someone else in the community (not Atsu) who does not have a favorable opinion of me and has been souring the narrative. There are also some folks who have lied to both of us. However, we both DO have the ability to contact these folks privately, and if we decide to bring it up to them, it will be in private. I ask that we move on from this chapter of the Genshin Lantern Rite PvP update, as both parties have worked it out, and it is no longer worth dragging things on.
The initial document is locked (and has been for a little bit) because I do not wish to spread any false information, and editing it would make people ask even more questions than give proper answers. As I said before, when I wrote it, I believed every word to be true. And some of it was true including my feelings, but many things ended up either not being the case, or not attributable to Atsu. He has uploaded his POV on his Twitter, and I can confirm we spoke about those points, and I do not believe there will be further issues between us going forward.
Thank you to everyone else who has spoken with me in private. Even though this was messy, I’m glad that many creators felt comfortable enough to share things with me, whether it just be a conversation about our feelings or experiences they’ve had in the Genshin CC space.
For those who are saying this should have been handled privately in the first place, there were attempts made a while back. When I wrote everything, I felt cornered by the initial subtweet he made (which Atsu has also apologized for). There was no way at the time for me to contact and discuss this with him privately, which ended up exacerbating things. And ultimately, in the end, it WAS settled privately, one on one with him and myself, which in my opinion led to a favorable outcome for both of us. As it stands, I do not bear any ill-will towards Atsu. Being resentful and bearing grudges takes a lot of energy, and after we had our talk I feel a lot better about everything, and I believe Atsu does as well. That’s why I am able to forgive him and move on, and I am thankful that he has also forgiven me for some of the pretty vile things that I had said in my initial post.
It’s easier to live life without enemies.
Please do not go after Atsu or any others involved in this. Unless you were personally involved in something, it is best to let this situation rest.