H~6 Strategies for seniors
Minimize your concerns
Before our children were born we were planning how we could give our children the best life they could have. While they were growing up we did everything we could to help them succeed. As they became adults, then parents, life interfered with our plans. Our kids ended up having the same type of struggles we faced.
We long to be closer, to do more for them, and you wish we had done some things better.
If we could help, we could put those concerns to rest, but:
- As soon as we start our kids assume we are about to give them advice or criticism?
- Some part of the most perfect letter we could write is likely to be taken the wrong way.
- Our kids are already dug in on many issues.
- They discount our opinions.
- Maybe we have already tried to fix them too many times.
- Maybe we have a very difficult task, like our daughter that she, not her husband, is the one who is wrecking their marriage, or that you will have to testify for your son-in-law against her at a child custody hearing?
- Maybe they can’t work on the problem you think they have because they are fighting for their life on a problem you are not aware of.
Get Life Right can give your kids excellent help on almost every issue in un-biased and non-judgmental way. Without you saying a word, if you can get them to pick it up they’ll have the answers they need.
PS. Maybe you can get someone else to give your kids this book. The main thing is not to sell it and not ask about the results. Remember you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. Now you’re free to refresh your life and your plans for the future
Know where you are in the process
Typically, as women ages she’ll:
- have more depression than men
- have concerns that need to be expressed
- stuff more feelings or give up on them
- want to be heard, and believe that their concerns are being heard.
- Still need to get off the property
- need reassurance of all kinds
- need you to be more affectionate
- need you to make her feel she is worthy of the best
- May have given up on getting you to try.
Typically, as men ages they’ll:
- Become less communicative, less affectionate, more unworkable and more sedentary
- Benefit from expressing more of their feelings
- Forget that they are the gatekeeper of their wife’s experience, and they owe her their best effort to listen and be communicative, affectionate, open and vital.
Counter the ageing process
- Don’t wait another day to have those conversations and get the romance back in your life
- Take a long look at the pictures of each other that go back the farthest. Let them rekindle your affection
- My wife was sick for a very long time and her way to cope was by not talking about it. A day never goes by that I don’t wish I had spoken up. It would have been painful but also reassuring to us both.
- Be proactive in providing him or her diversions. I was flatfooted and wish I had been more.
- Hunt for the advice you need; there is lots of exceptionally good help.
- Start at the Resource tab at www.GetLifeRight.com...
- Inevitably you can’t stop aging but you can resist by being as physically active and alert as you can be.
- Closure is a gift you can give each other but you can’t give or get it if you wait until there is nobody to talk to.
- There is so much I would like to have said and heard.
Returning to closeness
- Thoughts from What wives wished their husbands knew about women.
- Be affectionate and reaffirm you spouse’s importance to you all the time and in every way possible.
- Sex - you will lose it if you don’t use it, but it is more likely to diminish due to sameness, lack of communications, or your failure to understand its importance, than from lack of capability. It is not a chore unless;
- being your self is a chore
- you haven’t been investing in your relationship
- you have allowed yourself to become old at heart
- You have become lazy about maintaining your relationship; you have failed to learn how important this form of communication is or looked for the correct answers.
- You quit because you haven’t cared enough to deal with their shyness, they haven’t been willing to discuss the matter or they haven’t really listened to their spouse. There are excellent resources available. We list our favorite under the Resources Tab of our web site. It can be read or download free.
Refresh your outlook and strategy for life
- Now concentrate on the things that make you happy.
- Trying everything; especially new thinking.
- Keep building friendships
- Read the book for ideas on refreshing and design your time.