Made by sneakyneg neg any other frauders

http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=139741153

Your eyes are too far apart. Nose is definitely crooked. The shape of your face is not aesthetically pleasing at all. You look like a 3/10 with make up in this photo. I don't even want to imagine what you look like without make up. I actually threw up in my mouth, just thinking about it.

Your head is too big (although that may be, because of your giraffe neck posture). As for your hair, lol. Seriously, do something. You look like a horse.

Stare at your face for more than 5 seconds, and you will see how ugly you are. The eyes which are too far apart is what ruins/damages an already ugly face even further. Unfortunately for you, that can't be surgically fixed, lol.

You arms are way too long. lol at how they hang by your sides. Kind of reminds me of lurch. As for your tits, we all know there is extra padding there. Don't even let me start on your pale complexion. It only works if you look hot. Unfortunately, you do not look hot. Its hard to sum up a creature like you in one word. 'UGLY' would be unfair, since it doesn't reflect how repulsive you look. GROTESQUE is stretching it. But somewhere in between, is where you would be, on the scale of an average man.

I'm sorry if my words seem a little harsh. Just so you know, I sugar coated this post as much as possible.

Have a nice day.

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Ha! you've got to be joking. You call that sugar coating with all that typing? Apparently you only see what you believe. Your mind must be twisted if your eyes can see all of your imagination upfront.

A horse? A giraffe neck?

I'm sorry, I think you may have undergone so many surgery to have come out looking and SEEING things like that. It's a shame

that after all that work you're still ugly. What's the matter?

My physical appearance looks better than your personality. My personality is Far off better when comparing to your looks.

Child who is unworthy of respect and wastes the air for others to breathe with your nasty breath. Go feed yourself to Tigers because it will be like justice to the entire world.        

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Unless you are a published theoretical physicist and have earned a Master of Science and two PhDs, have an IQ of 187, and went to college at 11, research String Theory at Caltech, switched disciplines from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory and reconciled the black hole information paradox using a string network condensate approach, worked on the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations and considered a method for optimizing a 500 GeV particle detector to this end, jointly wrote a paper on supersolids to be presented at an Institute of Experimental Physics topical conference on Bose-Einstein condensates, keep a whiteboard in the living room for scientific theories containing virtual particles in quantum mechanics or series of Riemann zeta functions, then no I will not ask you any questions

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Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.

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I must commend you on your choice of profile pics; they really advertise your biological prowess. Your voluptuous figure, along with your fair complexion, tells me that you are healthy, and therefore would make a great choice for a breeding partner. I must ask though: How would you rate your ability to climb trees? I ask because, in the off chance a ground predator were to loom the horizon we could both escape via the trees without me having to risk my life in an attempt to defend you from said predator. If my instincts are correct, then I believe a biological pairing between us may be a practical and mutually benefitting affair. Would you be available for some light discourse?

That is very good to know, since I could not possibly fathom being with a girl who cannot climb trees. This is going splendid so far. How would you rate your abilities is combat?

Its rather difficult to say at this point, but I envisioned myself shooting things into enclosed spaces.

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"Hello... not sure if you remember me or not, but I went to school with you a few years back. I would say something like "Hey, what's up?" But if you don't remember me, I don't want you to be like "who the fun-dip is this guy? hope its not charlie sheen" LOL  Well anyways, hope you're doing alright. respond back if you do remember though and we can catch up because its been forever."

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Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts, instead of making a half-harded effort. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

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Don't say another Goddamn word. Up until now, I've been polite. If you say anything else - word one - I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this fear engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming - as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark work will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth

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Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends, up there on the sanctuary moon, are walking into a trap, as is your Rebel fleet. It was *I* who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them. Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive.

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Are you aware that there are people in this world that have a severe medical condition which causes them to be that way? My mother for instance is one of those people. She is a truck driver that has bad knees and a bad back from driving the truck but you probably do not care about that case either. Oh well I am not one of those people I am 6'4" 245lbs and I exercise every day. I would love to see you say something like that to my mother in front of me. Probably never happen though you are probably just an internet tough guy. I doubt very seriously you would say that to someones face. Just my thought. What do you think. Oh I am sorry you probably do not have a brain. I on the other hand will be happy to buy you a plane ticket to come here and see if you have the nerve to say that to someone I know. _____________

 The problem is your focusing on the things in life that don't really matter. When I was a kid I had hopes and dreams. We all did. But over time, the daily grind gets in the way and you miss the things that really matter, even though they are right in front of you, staring you in the face. I think the next time you should ask yourself "Am I on the right track here?". I don't mean to be rude but people like you I really pity. So maybe you could use the few brain cells you have and take advantage of the knowledge I have given you now. Good luck. _____________

 Most students / parents don't understand the legalities of the internet. Students use lame excuses like they're "bored", or some such nonsense as a justification for their inability to follow school district policies. Every school has a computer use agreement, internet use agreement, and policies for enforcement and a list of punishments if violated. Since students feel free to violate these because of "boredom" or, "our school admin sux" isn't really the point is it? Schools have a litany of laws they must follow to get funding for the internet in the first place. Take a look at CIPA, COPA, etc. Not only the protection acts, but the FCC which provides E-Rate funding for discounts on phone and internet service require internet filtration, and these regulations have explicit rules on what is to be blocked and on which computers. _____________

 God killed the dinosaurs becuase he realized how bad he f*cked up when he gave them arms that weren't in reach of their cocks...so he threw a few meteors to clear up the sheet and start fresh again, this time, creating his newest species, the human. After realizing his mistake, he quickly fixed it and and made our arms in length to reach our cocks and pleasure ourselves when we weren't praying to him. God truly is unbelievable...oh, and read the bible you b*tches, it says everything you need to know in that book! _____________

 I cant even begin to understand how children like you choose to be so disrespectful to your elders. When I was growing up, if one of my many brothers or sisters said something cross to my father, they would get a licken right across the face with a corn stock. During the great depression, all was well for our family, we had everything we needed. Of course, it was no paddy walk, we had our daily chores. Up at 4 in the morning, in the bed at 11. When you unload bales of hay and disperse them amongst the cattle, the yarn that is left over can become quite hazardous to the animals if eatin, so we would have to go and pick them up, now this might now seem like nothin, but if you have ever unloaded hay you know that you do a lot of em, so for every bail of hay that we unloaded, we had to pick up the yarn. We usually saved the yarn pickin up for after we unload all the hay, it just made more sense that way. Time consumtion was of no shortage, but we didnt mind we had all day. Plus just being able to help dad with the farm was reward enough for me, but maggie and sue had other plans, you would often find them wonderin around playin games, id have to go over there and whip them with a pipe to make em work again. Milkin cows was something i enjoyed, not because it was fun, but because it was something i was good at. I wasnt good at a lot of things, but i was good at milkin cows so i decided that was one of my favorite activities. When i was young i had often dreamed of becoming a professional milker, but they got machines for that now so now i just sit. and chew. _____________

 Let me tell you something you already know. The misc ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as misc. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how miscing is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that. _____________

 I have relatives from not so far back that were nimibian tribesman. They happen to have fought lions just to become warriors. I dont know what you know about lions but they aren't like your average cat. I bet you would absolutely **** yourself if you ever saw a real life lion.. especially if you were only holding a sharpened stick and you were naked. come talk to me when some of your family members have gone on the zambutu bibjano; aka the trial of life. until you have done half the **** that they have maybe you shouldnt even talk to me like this. I know you think you're hard and **** but guess what pal.. u arent'. now go grow some namibian genes and we'll talk about this **** for real _____________

 The #1 problem with you is your low self esteem. That's a problem which, if left to dwell will make you die a very unhappy man. I used to have very low self esteem myself. For about a year I dealt with a lot of stress about a lot of unfortunes I had to deal with. I got braces, developed terrible acne and had begun to get fat. And this was after having been a very attractive, athletic young kid in my youth, so I know what it's like to be on both ends of the spectrum. What you have to do is learn from your problems because life is a journey. You have to say OK well I could style my hair better, fix my teeth, find a new style of clothing that will make me happy and perhaps attract women, and most importantly develop huge muscles which will intimidate even the 6 ft+ tall guys!! _____________

 Are you aware that there aren't enough words in the english language- hell, the entire lexicon of languages the world over- to describe how incredibly wrong this is. Not only is it wrong in that it is ignorant, but in that it is so incredibly incorrect on a factual level. Holy ****ing God, how stupid can a human being get? In my life I've encountered people who have been unintelligent, yes- I've encountered my share of people who suffered from mental disabilities. People with downs syndrome, autism, and so on. However, I have never once encounted somehow so stupid as to be capable of thinking something so unbelievably off-base. I didn't even think it possible that anyone in our plain of existence could ever even have the capacity for this level of idiocy The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum...it's breathtaking-I highly suggest you try it.

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Have you acquired the knowledge thus far that there are people who suffer from conditions beyond their control, and are naturally in that state? My aunty, for instance, happens to be a person of that nature. She is a crane operator that has bad joints and a bad spine from operating the crane but you probably lack empathy for that case also. I don’t fall under this category as I am 6'5, 300lbs and everyday.

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Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to:M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc. Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A.along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."

This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one

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Sometimes when I poop, I use the shaping attachment from my old Play Doh fun set. I place it on my anus, and make poops in different shapes. There's nothing strange about that at all. I'm an American, living in America, and if I want to have poops shaped like stars, I have every right to. The founding fathers would have wanted it that way.

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 Here's what you do. Wait until he's passed out, then hide a nickel in his anus. Later, ask him to let you borrow a nickel. When he says that he doesn't have a nickel, pull the nickel out of his anus. He'll think that you're a wizard. Whenever he doesn't want to f*ck, you can threaten to turn him into a frog.

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 I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose.  With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy. I found tonight that it is more successful to progressively humm it louder as you perform the ritual.

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Look. No amount of 6" bulletproof plexiglass, no fly zones, 24/over 9,000 Secret Service details, concentric rings of bodyguards, etc are going to protect this black person from a team of determined assassins pissed off by the very fact that he's a no good dirty stinkin' cocky bastard Muslim black person who's a fraud.

All it takes is one bullet in his brain stem, or preferably, leaving him alive enough to suffer and feel incredible amounts of pain.

No amount of security can take that high level of sustained stress and alertness. All the assassins need is one slip. Just. One. Slip. And they are hidden, while the black person's wide open.

Protip: it need not have to happen on American soil. Or air for that matter.

The Secret Service is taking the clear and present threat very seriously. But so what.

This black person's goin' DOWN!!!

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In west pedophilia born and raised

On the playground was where I spent most of my days

Chilling out, fapping, and posting CP

And all flaming some camwhores for they faggotry

When a couple of mods who were up to no good

Started partyvanning in my neighborhood

I got one little ban and my mom derailed

And said "I'm gonna call Chris Hansen and send your ass to jail.

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I don't give a **** who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be there to bring your ****ing life to a hellish end. I'll put you in so much ****ing pain that it'll make Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a ****ing back massage on a tropical island. I don't give a **** how many reps you have or how tough you are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many ****ing guns you own to protect yourself. I'll ****ing show up at your house when you aren't home. I'll turn all the lights on in your house, leave all the water running, open your fridge door and not close it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You're going to start stressing the **** out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a ****ing heart attack. You'll go to the hospital for a heart operation, and the last thing you'll see when you're being put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake up after being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your chest waiting to go off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when you walk out the front door of the hospital to go home I'll run you over with my ****ing car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could ****ing destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, but how I'd rather go to a great ****ing length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing ****ing hell. It's too late to save yourself, but don't bother committing suicide either... I'll ****ing resuscitate you and kill you again myself you bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you

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Dude, i'm gonna type as sober as possible, that honestly looks ****ing pathetic and digusting compared to my meal. and I'm being one hundred percent serious. Sorry we dont cook **** that was previously in cans. you're a ****ing joke dude, and im dead ****ing serious. gert areal family that cooks good food, drinks beer and wine and winecoolers and has a good ****ing time, and has a milliondollar house on the beach, im seriously.. dont eever potst your ****ing families poverty dinner on these forums ever the **** again bro, and by bro i mean never my bro, ****ing ***got.

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Awesome pics. Great size. Look thick. Solid. Tight. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new progress pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakin' huge, solid, thick and tight you can get. Thanks for the motivation.

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I would strap 45lb plates to my ball sack and swim up the Amazon river with Rosie O'Donnell's queef as my air supply to prove my value to you

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Ok enough with this small talk. We're just wasting both our time acting like we are enjoying this. I can't hold it in any longer. I started off by declothing you in my mind, then we proceeded to kissing slowly moving down to each other's private areas. You were getting pretty heated at this point I don't know if you were thinking straight but you told me to hog tie you to the bed and punish you and you also said to grab the army men out of the game closet, needless to say I obliged. This is where it got a little weird. I asked you where you wanted it and you said," Blow in my belly button, trudge through it with the army men and act out the D-day invasion." Now I'm sitting here with my penis in hand curious to what that might be like. So if you're down to put our

own spin on this momentous historical event I can swing by Toys"R"Us on the way over. Are we going to pound this thing out or are you going to let my Womb Warriors die another meaningless death at the hands of my fap sock?

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I would lick gravy from the

crevices of Ralphie May's thighs

to have a conversation with you

over a syphilis ridden cell phone

with bad reception

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Jesus christ! I just spit my

protein shake all over my damn

computer! I looked through your

profile pictures and now I'm

sitting here hard as a rock, milk

all over the place, and sweating

like Amy Winehouse in a liquor

store. I don't know what to deal

with first! You've put me in quite

the predicament, I hope you're

happy.

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I would belly flop into a pool of

Aids infested needles just to put

my name in a hat with 1 million

other names for a chance to caress

your beautiful legs while wearing

gloves.

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Ever since the age of 9, I've been abused. People would make fun

of me for my slightly larger than average muscles. I've had

enough of it, and I don't appreciate your comments about my arms.

I'm simply requesting that you treat me as a human being. Under

that rough outer appearance, I bet there is a nice, healthy,

aesthetically pleasing, heavenly blessed beauty. But no beauty

will ever make up for a woman with a negative spirit.

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I would let 100 black anaconda'd men run a train on me, call me Chauncie, bukaki in a 10 gallon jug in which i will consume over a course of 2 hours just so i can get a taste of the poop of the guy who have had touched the receit that she handed to him during her shift at hooters.

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Hello heavenly blessed beauty whose inner beauty and outter beauty is simply divine and everlasting, Yours is an ancient beauty, the kind of muse that inspired Omar Khayyam or the Chauraspanchasika. Surely it was an angel like you who wooed Odysseus as he stood tied to the mast or whose light burst from the balcony that inspired Romeo... to song. Oh be my muse, fair princess and we shall teach the generations to come how to love.

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It's okay, though. "insert girl's name here" will probably end up having an illegitimate child with some crack dealer named Big Mike. She will, in turn, raise her child in an abusive home which will only strengthen him and toughen his soul. He will end up fighting in the streets and getting arrested multiple times. There he will meet his future coach, Chuggs, who will train him to become the greatest boxer of the decade.

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Female trollin:

OH my gentle beast of a man! How you sway my heart both left and right with your tender words. I feel as though you have broken down the walls of my solitude and jumped into my being; like souls connected at the seams. We are like a giant sweater, the two of us, a woolen sweater with beautifully colored patterns, argyle of course. Will you be my Julius Caesar? My Donald Trump? My knight in shining armor? By the beard of Zeus these feelings are erupting inside me like a volcano of splendid powdered sugar! It puffs up to the sky like a cloud and forms the shape of love. No one has ever made me feel this way. Thank you. My prince.

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I would strangle a moose with a 3 foot long piece of dental floss, gut it with my teeth and use the hide as a coat, then climb Mt. Everest barefoot while listening to Justin Bieber and cannibalizing on my climbing partner to survive with 10,000 volt shock-clamps attached to my nipples just to have a 1% chance to be able to eat a crusty piece of dried vaginal secretion from a pair of your 6-year-old panties that had never been washed.

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First off her tits are WAY too big. Its going to cause her back problems in the future where she will have to get breast reduction.. imagine carrying a 5 pound weight at your chest level everyday for years...try it the next time you are at the gym.

Second, titty fing her would be so wack. Your shit would just get lost in those melons. If I was to hook up with a chick and she sat on her back with those giant watermelons just flopping everywhere it would be a turn off for me at least. I mean with tits that big, are the nipples going to be dimes, quarters, or silver dollars.

Something tells me its photoshopped, but I mean people are really insane in this world.

Girls need some uniformity, B's are great man, C's are perfect, D's can work, but seriously anything bigger than that and its time for a mental evaluation.

Hooters has good wings though.

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ook i dont know you, wish i knew you,gotta met you but honestly your an angel ive never in my life seen a girl with your perfections in my whole life... one day i hope to met you... i cant put into words how stunning you are.. from the looks of it you have no imprections just pure natural cause to be beautiful and make people smile you have looks that will get you far in life and thats alot for me to say one day i hope to have to pleasure to met you your name should be "angel" not Satara cause that word right there describes you all over... thanks again and let me know if you ever want to met you have no flaws in you at all you would make m world the happiest place on earth to met you thank you angel. lets get to know eachother

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To troll Omegle or stupid Jb on chat:

NOTICE TO CHATTER: The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. VIOLATION: Solicitation of a minor. IMPORTANT WARNING: If you think this chat session was logged in error, please state your reasons to the F.B.I. agent currently monitoring this chat and quote the reference number #2334531343. Failure to do so within the next 2 minutes will result in your IP and address being entered into our criminal data base and legal action.

The Federal Bureau of Investigation has logged a record of this chat along with the IP addresses of the participants due to potential violations of U.S. law. Reference no. 2334453436. Your IP address has been entered into our suspect database and may be sent to CPS(Child Protection Services) and local law enforcement agencies. Please wait while memory ref. code 90637895 is entered into the database.

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I'm looking to persuade a girl to help me with one of my sexual fantasies. I want to lie down naked and act like a 1 year old. I want the girl to be dressed like a babysitter. She has to babysit me and acts in a nurturing way, as if i were one. I want her to cuddle and tickle me and I will respond by giggling like a baby. I want her to let me play with her boobs and suck on them and also to jerk me off, but i want her to do it in a way that controls the situation, for example the first few times i reach for her boobs she should slap my hand away and give a firm "no", but eventually i will start to cry and she will let me. I will also struggle a little bit when she jerks me off but she will be forceful and "hold me down".

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Have you acquired the knowledge thus far that there are people who suffer from conditions beyond their control, and are naturally in that state? My aunty, for instance, happens to be a person of that nature. She is a crane operator that has bad joints and a bad spine from operating the crane but you probably lack empathy for that case also. I do not fall under this category as I am 6'5, 300lbs and every day I make an effort to stimulate myofibrillar hypertrophy by inducing skeletal muscle mircotrauma. I would be most enthusiastic about you saying such a thing of unkind nature to my aunty in the vicinity of my physical presence. This has a low probability of coming to pass however as you are courageous only when your words first travel through an electronic medium to a public display forum. My belief is not strong that you would vocalise these insults when there is little spatial distance between yourself and that person. That is my thought process. I would like to know yours. Oh I do offer my apologies as you lack a frontal lobe with the necessary neurons and synapses which are prerequisites for a sentient being. I myself, however, would be most happy to book you in for a three day cruise to travel to my location and visualise yourself making such taunts to a person of my acquaintance with the removal of an electronic discussion medium.

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let me name a few things you will never know, no matter how much you fuck up our forum:

you will never know:

what its like to have multiple 10/10s calling you every night to get fucked.

what its like to score a game winning touchdown

what its like to have the balls/abililty to knock someone out at a bar when they try to punk you (lol @ you having to walk away like a bitch)

what it is like to workout and actually see results

what it is like to NOT immediately jizz yourself the first time a girl touches you because you have no experience with women

what it is like to enjoy the company of true friends and brother who will take bullets for you, outside of CoD.

what it is like to have an aura of success, confidence, and talent that commands respect from real people who are successful and worthwhile. and attractive.

what its like to be yourself and still make friends.

to not make excuses why your life sucks, because you make your own life and NEVER play the victim.

what it is like to wake up in the morning and be truly happy with your life

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i come to study clothing and fashion at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American fashion and then we are kiss.

We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fock this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.

I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.

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Look here you dumb broad. I have a fukkin mad crush on you,  and i think we need to get together asap. SRS I've felt like this for a while, I'm not surprised you never noticed, you're too busy doing your fukkin hair and make up, listening to kesha and shit. hit me back when yo get this and let me know what you think. peace bitch

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Well, first of all, let me start of by saying my stats are about 6'0 120 lbs. Pathetic. I know. I've been like this for all my life, a walking stick. Well, I've decided enough is enough, and said I'm going to join a gym.

Well I was terrified, A skinny piece of crap like me entering a gym, everyone's going to laugh, point, and kick me out, but I just told myself, remember all the people who ever made fun of you through out life, it can't get any worse then that, and use that as motivation. So I did.

I entered the gym and my freakin legs were shaking, no joke. I have a routine that I am going to use, but today I said I'm just going to go in there and get a feel for the place, try a few excericises and gtfo. Well I walk in there, and I just see a bunch of bikes and treadmills, then the weights behind them, I was about to throw up i was so nervous, so I just jumped on the first treadmill in front of me. I turned it on, and watched the lifters.

F, these guys were HUGE. I mean MASSIVE, I said no way in HELLO am I going to go in there, so I got off the machine, and started to walk towards the door then stopped myself, I said no way, I came this far, and I'm sure they wont' really care. So I mustered enough courage, walked over there nervous as hek, and just walked straight to the curl rack.

There was an average guy next to me curling, I don't know looked about 30 lbs, so I figured I can probably do 20, so I try to pick up the 20's. AND I COULDN'T. The guy next to me was staring at me, and told me "Try something else" then points at these pink ones on the floor. Apparently his friend behind him was watching and started laughing. So I turned around and I wanted to say something, but I just couldn't, I pick up the pink dumbbells and start curling. Well his friend starts making smart remarks like "WHOA THIS GUY IS A BEAST" "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHNOOOOOLLLD" and other things. I swear, I was getting so angry, I started to get a flashback of all the people who ever made fun of me in my life, one by one, and his voice in the background. I was steaming, all of a sudden i turn around out of sheer anger, it was as if I blacked out,and fling the pink dumbbell in his face. BAM, I HIT HIM. Then I realized, OMG DID I JUST DO THAT??!

He yells out WTF, then he pushes me against the rack, and him and his 2 friends surround me thats when I realised these were a couple of guys who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared and she said "You're movin' wth your auntie and uncle in Bel-air". I whistled for a cab and when it came near the licence said "FRESH" and it had dice in the mirror but anyway I could say that this cab was rare but I thought nah forget "YO HOLMES TO BEL-AIR!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie "Yo holmes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-air

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The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

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Yes I'm really gonna believe that it's the end of the world because the calendar designed by a bunch of retarded south americans who were absorbed in ripping out organs and offering them as sacrifice to a snake feathered god with no penis is about to expire

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Im 17 and im just now hitting puberty, you want to say that in 3 years when im big enough to beat you up

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****ing gross brah. Why would you put your dick in the same hole that your dad does? I wouldn't even be able to do that **** cuz I'd be thinking of my pops doing it to her.

PLUS, that is ****ed up. Your ****ing dad feeds you and puts a roof over your head your whole life and you repay him by ****ing his wife??? **** that **** I'd rather die than disrespect my dad like that

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I check into small hotel a few kilometers from Kiev. It is late. I am tired. I tell woman at desk I want a room. She tells me room number and give key. “But one more thing comrade; there is one room without number and always lock. Don’t even peek in there.” I take key and go to room to sleep.

Night comes and I hear trickling of water. It comes from the room across. I cannot sleep so I open door. It is coming from room with no number. I pound on door. No response. I look in keyhole. I see nothing except red.

Water still trickling. I go down to front desk to complain. “By the way who is in that room?” She look at me and begin to tell story.

There was woman in there. Murdered by her husband. Skin all white, except her eyes, which were red.

I tell her I don’t give a ****. Stop the water trickling or give me refund. She gave me 100 ruble credit and free breakfast.

Such is life in Moscow

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You do your hair in the morning to look good for the women. You pick your clothes according to what would look nice to them. You do a 100 sets of

bicep curls to get looks from women. Lose weight to get more women. Your friends ask if you wanna hang out at X place, you think to yourself "ehh, i

guess there could be some chicks there". You pick your vacation spot by asking: "how are the women in X country?". You take woman studies at college

for the male:female ratio. You take spanish classes for that hot chick who sits near you. You go to chat rooms to talk to women. You have a

facebook/myspace to hook up with women. You fill out a hospital form: Your status? either single/married or divorced, all your life you're either looking for

a chick, found a chick, or cut yourself off from a chick.

Isn't it weird how everything we do is fueled by women?

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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

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u are 1 ****ing cheeky **** mate i swear i am goin 2 wreck u i swear on my mums life and i no u are scared lil bitch gettin your mates to send me messages saying dont meet up coz u r sum big bastard with muscles lol ****in sad mate really sad jus shows what a scared lil gay boy u are and whats all this crap ur mates sendin me about sum bodybuildin website that 1 of your faverite places to look at men u lil ****in gay boy fone me if u got da balls cheeky prick see if u can step up lil queer

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I can imagine myself walking in the sunset, holding hands and smiling. Hearing the crash of the waves as a gentle breeze flows through my body and hair. Walking miles and miles, while the moon rises high into the sky. The whole world is asleep, but I am the only one living a dream. The graceful peace, settling into my heart. For once I actually feel alive. This is what it should feel like. This is how you're supposed to live. A longing sense of comfort. And as we lay on the sand staring into the night sky, the stars become brighter and multiply. Soon enough, the dark sky is brightened by each star's shine. We close our eyes, hand in hand and lie in a moment of silence when all we can hear in the background is the calm waves alining upon the shore and the light night breeze. We make a wish and lie together in a few more moments, appreciating eachother for everything we are. We then both open our eyes to the diamond-like sky, staring for a brief moment as we then both turn to eachother, lying on our sides. I am looking into your eyes and you are looking into mine. I look at every inch of your body, then interlocking my eyes into yours once again. I inhale as you take a deep breath. I then begin to speak in a soft whisper. I tell you this is everything. You are all I've wanted. You were in all my dreams. You love me the way I wanted. You care for me like no one else has. I appreciate everything you've ever done for me, everything you've spent on me, everything you've said to me and everything you've felt for me. You are the only one I want. I am in love with you. Please keep me forever. Locked away in the eternity of time. You are different. You give me ideas. Thoughts, feelings, unlived visions of places I've never been or never knew existed, walking beside you in every one. It may be simple to state how I feel about you and say I love you a thousand times, but it is all too complex to fully give you the understanding of the meaning of the immense amount of love and appreciation I have for you. I tell you you're the one. You're everything anyone could ever ask for. I am thankful to have you in my life. I love you. I then pause and look into your eyes. You don't say anything. You can see the moon reflecting onto the calm ocean. A warm chilling feeling flows throughout my body as I watch you begin to slowly close your eyes and bring your body closer to me. Your face inching towards mine. As I close my eyes, I take one deep breath, tasting the chilled ocean air. I slowly bring myself closer to you, as you put your arms around me. I can feel your body heat and your soft hands touching my body. Our lips then touch. We kiss. Passionate, gentle, everlasting. This one kiss expresses all my thoughts, feelings, emotions and every little detail of every little existing idea, dream, form of all the words and feelings that I've developed for you. That moment, it was all unveiled. We lied there for minutes, sharing this dream we both created together. As we slowly move our faces away, I lay my head upon your shoulder and your arms around my body. The night had never seemed so bright and beautiful up until this day. It's like the world turned and everything completely changed. Everything was clear and I can actually breathe and feel each beat of my heart pound against my chest, as the blood slowly flows through my body. I can feel, hear, touch, taste, see, smell and understand everything, in what now feels like what is heaven. Lifelessly floating on a cloud, feeling fully alive. The feeling of being so unrealistically content and that a perfect life and person can exist is far beyond anything I could have ever perceived. You are my savior and meaning for existance. I thank you for everything you will do and being there, always. We lie, staring into the sky feeling the air get colder as the night becomes later. It doesn't bother me though. My body is filled with a warming sense of completion. Everything I'd dreamed of having is fulfilled, finally. I close my eyes and daydream once again of having and sharing this same exact moment with you. Soon enough the stars slowly fade away as the sky becomes lighter and the light of the sun pierces through the sky, slowly rising as time repeats itself once again. But this time is new. The feeling of being reborn into a life that you feel you've lived every single day. It feels so right. Life is beautiful with you. I appreciate things much more thoroughly. I love you. I always will.

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Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you too.

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I just tried to change my password to penis, but it said it was too short

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I’m as pissed off as a midget with a yo-yo

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SOBER is actually an acronym that stands for: Son Of a Bitch, Everything's Real

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I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.

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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked

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It's not masturbation if you use a puppet.

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I would love to start working out, but I'm beefing up for my "before" picture

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Do you know CPR because my dick stopped breathing.

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I got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers

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The fact that you were able to type out over 100 characters on your short time away from the kitchen is either impressive on your part, or shameful on the man who owns you

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Listen bitch, i have the balls in this relationship and we're eating at 1 of 3 places, burger king, mcdonalds, or taco bell. and you get to eat off the dollar menu because you're not worth more than that. then after you're goin to suck my dick in the back of my car, got it?

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First we sky dive out of Airforce one because president Ford told us to "get off his plane". Then we land nicely on my speed boat driven by Charlies Angels and gulp down some mimosas real fast so there's time to put on our leather jackets and jump the shark. The crowd goes wild(I'm kind of a big deal). Magnanimous man that i am, i wave my muscled arm and smile my chiseled jaw. Laughing my hearty laugh, i tell you to wait as i fetch my Lamborghini. You wait with baited breath as i zoom towards you. Just as you start to fear obliteration, I turn the wheel sharply and do a barrel roll right above you. Only this isn't just any barrel roll. I hand you a rose as our paths cross and eyes meet. The car slides to a graceful stop and i gesture for you to get in. We drive of to the island's summit where my helicopter to Jurassic Park awaits. We've spared no expenses

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So I messaged you just to chat but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well,

end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it,

I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a

few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally get past this

sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship

is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion,

you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway,

only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids,

but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really

good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside

affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so)

and we have to explain to the kids why mummy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children.

For God's sake, if you chat with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.

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Yeah I read that too. Are you gonna plagiarize the whole thing for us? Do you have any thoughts of your own on this matter? Is that your thing? You come into a forum, you copy some obscure passage and then paste it off as your own idea just to impress some mods and neg my friend? See the sad thing about a guy like you is that in 50 years you're gonna start doing some thinking on your own and you're gonna come up with the fact that there are two certainties in life: One, don't do that. And two, you dropped $150 on some ****in’ Cell Tech which you could have got for $10.50 in generic brand creatine.

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I don't know who you are because your red. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for reps, I can tell you I don't have reps to give you. But what I do have are a very particular set of negging skills; negging skills I have acquired over a very long career. Negging Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you stop posting right now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will neg you.

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Don’t ****ing mock me you pompous piece of ****. I don’t know who the **** you think you are but your obviously a dip**** who goes around acting like hes better than people buy im sure you just an ignorant **** just like everyone else you ****head. You know its pompous ignorant ****s like you who make me so mad i could ****ing murder a bitch. You think im ****ing playing games here? Hey i aint scared brother. I got a 45 with your name on it. So just come on over. Bring your gun and we’ll meet somewhere and we’ll just ****ing shoot this out cause i don’t give a **** man. I really dont. I just busted a nut in your moms face so what. You think i care if i ****ing live or die ill ****ing put a bullet in your head. This aint no joke man. Ill ****ing cut up your dead body and march around wearing your head as a hat while playing your penis like a flute to the tune of yankee doodle dandy. You wanna keep talking ****. Bring it bitch.

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Bro, Not tryin to start a fight, you dont have a clue on how the world works. I have seen sh*t you will NEVER SEE, I have lived threw thing you will NEVER live threw. I'll say what I think to anyone. As far as me coming to where ever you live and saying something to someone you know. I dont know them so why would I just walk up and say something that may or may not start a fight. Although if you would like to buy me a plane ticket from Iraq, I will take it and I'll say whatever you want me to; as long as I'm out of this place. Like I said before I'm not trying to fight with you, but you don't know everything nore do you know everyone. So you can't make statements like "you wont say things to people's faces.

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I have read over this entire thread the past few days and there are some truly inspirational stories here. I have been trying to lose weight off and on for the past couple years but I have really shifted it in to high gear since my wife gave me an ultimatum. At the end of the day, I am tired of people telling me that I have gained weight and I'm tired of not being able to fit my old clothes. I hope this doesn't sound weird but one of the reasons why I want to lose weight is so I can start back getting bjs. My wife used to do it all the time but she stopped last year and now says it is gross. I'm hoping that fact that I drop this fat will indeed bring her to her knees or if push comes to shove, I can always get another woman to find me attractive and do it. I know this may sound kind of shallow but it's the way I feel and I'm sure other guys may be going through the same thing even though they may not admit it.

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I'm a rocket scientist, therefor I can murder people and tell the judge to get fuked because I'm smarter "than" them, your degree might tell people you are educated in the field you studied, but your post and logic makes you look like an idiot, maybe that cop is a brain surgeon who does night shifts and is daylighting as a cop for more money, OP doesn't know ****.

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Has anyone fapped to nonstop gay porn for a month to make sure they didn't like it?

Just to make sure you weren't gay and that you didn't enjoy it.

I decided to watch gay porn for about a month. Every day at least 2 times, and I would force myself to fap to it. After ejaculation I would ask myself a series of questions about whether or not I liked it and analyze my feelings afterward. There was one point where I almost liked it, but in the end I think that was just because the guy looked really feminine. After that month I started watching regular porn and lesbian porn but I wasn't very moved by it in my spirit. I studied some charts and diagrams and made some questions on yahoo answers looking for the answer to satisfy my needs. Now I bang gazelles on a regular basis.

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LOOOLL no offense bro butshe is the ugliest mother****er I have ever seen. If I didn't know any better I'd assume herr mom was a titty waitress at hooters, got pregnant, was fired for her slump in appearance, then couldn't afford an abortion so she had the local kids try and whack her bulging fetus like a piñata. Only she survived and that's how she ended up with such a disfigured face. Either that or she got baptized with scolding hot coffee. I bet if a blind kid felt her face he'd be asking why there's a pizza on this camels ass. ****s disgusting bro get it sorted or at least get he to wear a bucket over her head or something. peace.

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Seriously, what's up with that first chick? She looks like she's 40. Her age automatically excludes her from this thread. I feel like you just looked at her tits and decided to post her. And her tits aren't that great either. They look pretty saggy, like you'd take her bra off and they'd flop out like someone cracking two eggs open into a frying pan. You know what her facial structure reminds me of?

Not to say that second chick is any better. What's up with you and big nasty fake lips? I bet you think Lisa Ann is an attractive pornstar. I bet you thought Jennifer Lopez was hot in her prime. You just know something is wrong with a woman when her upper lip is puffier than her lower lip. It looks like someone socked her in the mouth before her photo shoot. She probably had an allergic reaction, her makeup covered up her hives but her face is still swollen and ugly as ****.

The third chick is a little difficult to judge because of the tiny pic + full body shot. I can say she is the hottest of the 3, but that doesn't mean much. It's like picking the most attractive mustache out of a group of sex offenders. She's at least 2 points above the other two, which brings her up to a 3/10. My mind cannot even fathom how heavily photoshopped that picture is. Everything about it is fake. The layout, the background, her body, her face, the lighting. Her hand also looks massive. Look at that ****ing thing.

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Can you please change your thread title to "ugly chick with gratuitous cleavage itt?"

You can't possibly find her to be attractive brah. I don't think it's biologically impossible to be sexually attracted to this hideous bitch. I mean maybe if she actually did something about her caterpillar eyebrows and ridiculous hairline, she'd be ALMOST pretty. And I use "pretty" in the same way you'd describe a mural in a subway.

And what about those tits? The quality may be dark and ****ty but I can tell she has some pretty gnarly breasts. Some chick's tits go to **** when they age. Not this girl's though, her tits look awful before she's even "old." Now I don't know exactly how you found this creature to be the best part of "highschool english," but I can already assume you're the kind of guy who doesn't mind being the wingman.

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Christ almighty, she is by far the most unattractive pornstar to ever enter the porn business. I am absolutely shocked that she wasn't immediately kicked out of the building and sent to the pound by animal control the minute she asked for a job. She is the reason certain men have gotten into the gay porn industry. Everything about her is unaesthetic.

Now I won't even mention her face. No, I'm saving that for last. I'll start with her chunky legs. I've seen BBW with smaller legs than her. Does she even work out? I mean I like big legs on some chicks, but they're just nasty on her. I don't know whether it's because I've seen her face in all its glory, which has ruined the rest of her body for me, or just because I subconsciously know that those legs house the second deadliest virus known to man. The last time she spread them, they had to evacuate the building in Hazmat suits. She now shoots scenes in airtight rooms filled with bubble wrap.

Moving up to her tits, things really start to take a turn for the worse. Imagine if you're on a Windows 98 computer loading an image of her, but it's loading from the down up. At the beginning you're excited, but when it loads up to her stomach you're having second thoughts. The second it loads her tits, your smile is almost gone. Most women would have the common sense to get their tit jobs done by a professional plastic surgeon with all 5 senses intact. Sara Jay didn't, and she ended up with the most disproportionate tits known to man. She's the equivalent of a statue of David sculpted by a drunk Michelangelo who later tried destroying his work of art after discovering how badly he ****ed up.

Oh, but that's not nearly the worst of it. Once your image fully loads, your boner turns into an innie and hides like a turtle head in its shell. Her face is something Jason has nightmares of. Straight up, she looks like a ****ing hound. You know that scene at the end of Spirited Away where the girl has to tell which pigs are her parents? If the pigs were replaced by doberman pinschers I would have found Sara Jay in seconds. I have never seen a more busted face in my life, and that's saying a lot considering all the websites I've browsed and all the female Miscer profiles I've visited. God once watched her in a Brazzers scene and contemplated starting the apocalypse.

I can say without a single doubt in my mind that she is the ugliest pornstar alive. I'm just glad you put her name in the title, or else I wouldn't have expected her. The shock of seeing her ugly mug would have send me into cardiac arrest.

You also fall in love the last time you went to the zoo, OP? This bitch straight up looks like something you'd find getting hauled away by animal control. Ass or not, you will never be able to get over that hideous trainwreck of a face. Paper bag it and you'll still never be able to get hard because her face will forever be engraved into the back of your mind. Seriously, what a ****ing mess she is. Definitely the outcome of some kind of inter-species love story you'd only read about in a tabloid magazine.

I mean she has more animal-like features than womanly features. I'm having a hard time calling her a "bitch" because that would be too humanizing. Everything about her screams "primate." I am almost sick to my stomach after having to scroll up and look at her ugly ****ing face multiple times. OP, for the sake of all of us, never post something like this again. It's obvious you're an ass man, because ass men always see past the face.

My advice? Run. Run and never look back. The fact that you managed to stay together with this ****ing manatee for more than 5 minutes shows that you have more patience and tolerance than 99% of men.

Are you serious though? Are you really contemplating anal with that thing? I mean regular vaginal penetration is sickening enough when you consider how she resembles your average dugong. But anal? Jesus Christ man, I didn't even know whales had anuses.

Perhaps I'm being a little too harsh. I've seen fatter. Don't get me wrong, she's still fat, just not obese. If you're dead set on porking this thing in the ass, then go for it.

Well, and here I thought my day couldn't get any worse. Then I opened this thread only to be greeted face to face with one of the most ugly and grotesque looking things in my life. I have to force to call her an actual "she." My fingers just subconsciously try and type "it."

Wow, and I thought Lights was ugly WITH makeup. No, she's brought ugly to a whole new level. I'm having trouble keeping my protein shake down now just thinking about what the **** I just saw when I entered this thread. Did she really think taking that photo would be a good idea? I've been sober for 5 years but now I'm contemplating downing several liters of whiskey just to forget what I viewed here today.

Dear God, I mean she may not have makeup on, but that doesn't give you the excuse to be ****ing ugly. I don't wear makeup and my skin looks a thousand times better than her. If the Cryptkeeper ever met her he'd give her moisturizer. And I've seen homicide victims with fuller lips than hers. Not to mention that hideous trashy nosering. What a ****ing abomination. She just looks like she smells bad.

Needless to say, I'd switch the Lights off on this one.

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Not sure what there is to "want" about this drab looking bitch. You got a 6/10 fetish brah?

Honestly, Penelope Cruz herself is pretty ugly, and I will admit that her sister is slightly more attractive. When I say slightly, I'm talking the difference between a plancktometer and a yoctometer. She's one of the most boring, uninteresting, plain looking "celebrities" in existence. Plainer than Ellen Page. Plainer than that bitch who played Kate from Lost. I'm seriously disappointed.

I don't know what you see in her that deserves "too much want," OP. I see hotter chicks than her walking around pretty much every day. There is literally nothing special about her. It's hard to judge since the picture is in black and white, but I'd say that style was done simply to hide some of her bigger facial flaws. I can see she has Penelope's ugly unaesthetic jawline, and her big long bushy eyebrows. I guess she's never heard of tweezers.

I think the biggest disappointment of her existence is her lack of a decent body. She's less than plain in the chest department, she's LACKING. She could be wearing a push up bra with several pounds of padding and still look flat. Not to mention that ass is beyond mediocre. If neither her nor Penelope got all the fortunate genetics, where did they all go?

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Well, I'd be pretty excited to get a text like that if I was into ugly chicks with unaesthetic tits. But since I actually have standards, I'd probably cut all contact with said bitch if she sent me something as disgraceful as that.

Those are some of the thickest, tighest, most solid veins I have ever seen in all 19 years of my life. No, that's not a good thing. Veins are sometimes good because it actually denotes that her tits are natty. Small veins are nice. Tiny, unnoticeable veins are the best. Big big hulking blue streaks of veiny **** that take up over half the surface area of her tits are just disgusting. And I'm being kind here with my choice of words.

Seriously, I could go on for hours about how ugly those tits are. I'm actually glad this website doesn't allow nudity. If you hadn't blocked out her nipples, my eyes probably would have withered and died. Chicks with nasty veins tend to have nasty nips. There are no exceptions to this rule, and this slut definitely has some gross misshapen salami nipples. God, I regret ever entering this thread.

OP, if you're ever going to make a thread like this, change the title to something that wouldn't get my attention. I really don't need to see that ****.

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You sir are nothing but a sap. You are so popular on misc aren't you? I'm sure in real life you are a nobody, just a grain of sand. Anyways, why talk **** over the internet?? Why talk **** on someone whom you know absolutely nothing about?? What is the point? I can guarantee in person you wouldn't say this to me and can also guarantee you won't be as tough as you think you are behind your computer. You see what I drive so if you ever see me out somewhere come say hello. If you would like to try and do something in person, then I will gladly knock your teeth down your throat. That's all I have to say.

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I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

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The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

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Haha it sounds kind of gay, but I'm starting to fear my own strength. I've been getting stronger and stronger every time I hit the gym, that now I have to use those heavy ass dumbells no one uses, and alot of 45 pound plates on all my barbell workouts. I dont have a gym partner so its kind of intimidating to do certain workouts alone with such heavy iron. Anyone have this little phobia? lol it wont stop me, but I'm getting really big into stretching cause the fear of injury from these workouts. It's kind of scary, lol.

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Yo what the **** man , I'm getting tired of this ****, seriously ....WTF is with you guys and smelling girls' asses , smelling their feet , chewing their panties and all that other ****...are you miscers THAT sexually deprived that you think you need to get a piece of every part of a chick....would I want a chick sniffing my anus...no SO WHY THE **** do you guys do that ****....I cant get it man ..some if the **** posted here is ****ing gross..like this ****ing thread..sniffing unclean asses

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This is not funny when I was 12 I had my first sexual experience. At the time, I lived in a little suburb outside of Cleveland and anyway, the girl next door and I were really good friends. Our parents were both gone for the day and she was over playing Transformers with me. So anyway, we kinda got.. Bored I guess? And we started playing truth or dare, which turned into 'you show me yours, I'll show you mine". So anyway there I Was, 12 years old, heart pounding, blood rushing in my ears, and the chick (who was a year older than me actually) takes off her panties and hikes her little skirt up. So What did I do, you ask? I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the license plate said "fresh" and there were dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought "naw forget it, yo home to bel-air!" I pulled up to the house about seven or eight and I yelled to the cabbie "yo homes smell ya later!" Looked at my kingdom, I was finally there. To settle my throne as the prince of bel-air.

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Would tattoo a swastika on my forehead and run for office in Israel just to wipe my nose

with the toilet paper she used to wipe her father's ass

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I would drag my dick through a mile of broken glass while being ****ed in the ass with a dildo just to hear her fart through a walkie talkie

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Are you aware that I am considering making another account (srs). This **** is getting to me, I mean, my reputation as a contributing poster on this forum/section has taken a hit. Has nothing to do with the rep power, but, I honestly try to help when people are (srs) and when it's a lulzy thread, I join in, but now when I comment, and have any input in any thread... there are a few miscers calling me this and that. It's pretty nasty stuff, I have manners in real life, and I control myself online, but others... shame brahs, you cuss every other person out like he isn't a person. (inb4 u mad, puzzy, etc)

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Yesterday when i was in the shower, i cupped my hands, and peed into them. i sat there holding 8 ounces of my own pee. i looked at it, felt its wamth, and then unclasped my hands as i watch the golden liquid flow down the drain. and i thought what if....what if i would have drank that pee?

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So I am 21 and my little sister is only 11. Anyways she gets in the shower and a little while later gets out and goes into her room to dress.

Like 3 seconds later she starts screaming and I am working out in my room doing my third rep of chest curls, so I have no shirt on. I immediatly drop my 50 lb weights and barge in and ask her what the fukc is wrong with her and she points up at the ceiling and its just a little stupid spider on the ceiling. Our ceiling is kind of high so I have to jump to get it. So i grab a magazine and jump up to swat it. and I hit it a little but it falls and lands right on my fukcing sisters head.

she immideatly drops her towel and starts swatting at her head screaming "GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF" I notice it crawling down her back and it is still alive I drop the magazine because it wasnt working so well and i grab her shoulder with one hand to get control of her because she is flailing around like a maniac and then I am swatting at it with my only other free hand. and just then my parents burst in and see her naked and me in just my aids shorts spanking her rearend while she is crying her ****ing guts out.

Most embarassing day of my life. I tried to explain to them i was like "guys oh no wait there was a spider there was spider and stuff". and my little sister was still crying her guts oout and my dad just exploded and told me to "get in your fukcing room immediatly you sick fukcing predator". It doesnt help that a couple months ago they found a pair of her undies on my floor. I dont know how they got there but probably were stuck in my pants after mom did laundry or something.

i really feel like killing myself right now.

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I suffer from a condition called hyperhydrosis which basically means my sweat glands are like leaky faucets. I am 28 years old but I wear adult diapers (Depends?) so that the back of my pants doesn't have a streak of wetness down them. At first this was all I used them for -- to cover up the stain of my butt sweat -- but over time I learned to enjoy wearing diapers for the other benefits they confer. I can pee in public. I can be speaking to somebody and I can literally pee my pants, and nobody has to know but me. There are very few things quite as stimulating as unloading my bladder into soft cottony absorbent material and letting my penis swim around in urine for a while before everything is absorbed. Yesterday I was talking to a woman I have a crush on and I peed myself, and it was the most erotic thing that ever happened to me. I tried pooping in them once but it was a horrible mess to clean up and it smelled bad

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I've seen what getting jizzed on by a group of people does to a man, it is not pretty. I wasn't a part of it but when I was 12 or 13 I went to a sleep away summer camp and this is like when we were starting to discover porn and jacking off. Some kid brought some playboys and naked playing cards, sh*t like that with him. Anyway, one kid in our cabin was a huge tool, stole stuff like food and money from other people in our cabin. So half a dozen kids decided one night to wake up in the middle of the night at like 3 a.m and take turns jacking off in the bathroom, running out before they finished and blowing their load on the kid when he was sleeping. Literally 6-8 kids did this, all over his face, sheets, upper body, and hands, one kid also did it in his shoes. So everyone else wakes up the next morning and we all knew what had happened but this kid couldn't figure out why he was all sticky for like 15 minutes until a counselor forced it out of a kid. When the kid found out he went absolutely nuts, like certifiably crazy mental breakdown. He had to leave the camp for psychiatric treatment, worst part was after he took a shower and went to leave he stepped in the jizz shoes and also like 6 of my friends I never saw again because they got kicked out.

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I want to say something before this whole thing gets out of control. In 1967, in the hot desert sun, a woman gave birth to a boy in the back of old pick up. She was a whore. She left the boy at a local church. The father at the church didn't like children, but he knew that being a disciple of the bible he couldn't possibly not take the small kid. Instead he ended up taking out his frustration on the boy. At the age of three, the boy was forced to use the toilet. Let me tell you the little fell into his own pile of poop more than once. By the age of 5, the boy the boy was reading the bible and chopping wood for the fire. Despite the father's harsh character, the boy loved him and thought of him as his true father. By the age of seven the father raped him three times. The boy ran away. He survived four days in the desert by eating cactus and scorpions. He was finally found by a drug cartel boss, who took the boy in. Mr. Sanchez was his name, and he was immediately impressed by the boys intelligence and grown up attitude. Mr. Sanchez provided the boy with an education at a private prep school and a nice house. The boy had sex for the first time when he was 12, the next year he graduated high school. He was the school's star running back. The boy was lost, although he liked Mr. Sanchez, he never thought of him as his father. The boy went to India, were he became a spiritual leader of a large tribe of farmers. With his power he turned the several plots that each tribe member had into a large corporate farm and became a millionaire. His assets grew as he bought into other successful start ups. He often got ahead in business with his great leadership abilities, but once in a while he used violence. This was India after all. By the time he was 22, the boy had all the money he would ever need. So he bought a yacht and traveled the world for 10 years. For 10 years he visited every major port, slept with girls from every country imaginable, and tried every drug ever made (by nature and by man). When he was 33, he was walking on a beach in French Guiana when he met a girl of Irish - Native American decent. She bared his seed. It was boy, perfect health. He moved them to Argentina, then London, and eventually Vermont. The man was 45 now, he has seen everything, accomplished everything, tried everything. He skied down the Swiss Alps, been at the North Pole, swam with hammerheads, everything! Yet he has never done one simple thing that we all take for granted every day, he met his father. He never played catch with his father, he never talked about women with his father. He never would. He died at the age of 63 when his parachute didn?t open when he was base jumping from Dagger Mountain in Washington, USA. Over three thousand people attended his funeral.

I know what you are thinking. How does this story relate to me? Well I want you to go all the way back to the beginning of the story and remember the woman who gave birth to this incredible boy. You are like this woman. You are like this women because you are a whore.

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My looks is something that I know I am good in. I have looked at a 1,000 mirrors in every angle imagineable. I have measured my face, my nose - width ratio etc... I have studied what makes people attractive.

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I just came on here to show you how real men roll.

Woke up this morning 5:30 sharp with a blowjob from two bitches, one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and 3\8 inch dick. Must have came about a quart of sperm. They wanted more, cockslapped them unconcious, I had to hit the gym. Frontflipped from my 14th floor loft into my valet parked 2018 Ferrari (I got connexions) and gave the valet 3000$ in loose change. Pushed my **** to about 4 hundo (mph, mind you) and I was at the gym in no time. When I entered, the room scent suddently changed from sweat to wet pussy. That;s just the effect I have on hoes. Did my usual relax routine, 6000 push-ups, 8500 crunches, bench pressed 30 plates, etc. etc. you know the drill. After doing my **** in 16 minutes, my super strong senses got in action, I was smelling pussy. I looked up, and sure enough this fly honey was coming towards me. When i say fly, I mean that bitch was fine as a ****ing umbrella. 18 years old, 44DD titties on a tight ****ing frame. I mean a real skinny bitch, the type you losers jack off to, she didnt weigh more than 5 pounds. Took out my trouser monster and she started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having 6 orgasms at the same time. Then I gave it to her while all the guys were giving me high fives and all the hoes were on the floor squirting like mother****ing fountains. Made the **** beg for my cum, but I didnt give it to her to prove a point, I still came but only compressed air came out, imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. Didnt say nothing, hopped back in the Lambo and went back home. Now I'm sitting here, drinking 15 000$ champagne and eating gold plated sushis made by the 2 bitches from earlier. Its only 6:30 and I did more in 1 hour than you ***gots will do your whole life. Enjoy jacking off to stupid drawn pictures. Carl out.

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Did you know that what you are talking about is limited by your false sense of reality? Maybe if you studied just a little bit harder while in school you wouldnt be blinded by these fallacies that have cast a cloud over your judgment. I once knew a guy like you who had everything he could ever want but in the end it meant nothing, because he never knew his true place in the grand scheme of things. Im not trying to tell you how to live your life but, honestly buddy I think its time you stepped down off of your high horse and looked life square in the eyes.

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Basically my best tip for workouts is muscle confusion.

When I hit the rack I try to make as much noise as possible, knocking the weights together, kicking my water bottle, anything that will confuse my muscles.

The next thing I do is grunt and scream as I'm lifting, this creates brain confusion and in turn creates muscle confusion.

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You have the personality of wallpaper. You are deficient in all that lends character. On a good day, you're a half-wit. You are dank and filthy. Phone sex operators hang up on you. You are a fiend and a sniveling coward. You wear strangely mismatched clothing with oddly placed stains. The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just knowing that you exist and despise everything about you. God created cockroaches, fleas, and intestinal parasites, then he lowered his standards and made you. You are a green-nostriled, crossed eyed, hairy-livered inbred trout-defiler. Your mother had to tie a pork chop around your neck to get a dog to play with you. You are asinine and benighted. Telemarketers refuse to be seen in public with you. You are the unholy spawn of a bandy-legged hobo and a syphilitic camel. Your alleged mother abandoned you at birth and then died of shame in recognition of what they had done to Earth. Do you really expect your delusional and incoherent ramblings to be read? I beg for sweet death to come and remove me from a world which became unbearable when you crawled out of a harpy's lair. Do you fantasize that your tantrums and conniption fits could possibly be worth the $0.0001 worth of electricity used to send them? You're a putrescent mass, a swine, and a vulgar little maggot. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot. You are a few cards short of a full deck, a few bricks short of a full load, and a few chromosomes short of a full human. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a spineless little worm only deserving of the profoundest contempt. Your attempt at constructing a response was pitiful, maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count correctly, you will have more success. It is hard to believe how incredibly stupid you are. You emit more stupidity in one minute than our entire galaxy emits in a year. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you. I don't think that I can summon the strength left to mock your moronic opinions and malformed comments about boring trivia or your other drivel. May you choke on your own foolish opinions.

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I'm gonna be completely honest with you even though you will disagree with me but trust me it is the correct answer. I've seen you post in the religion and politics section and you are pretty religious. Your religion (Islam) took away your childhood, your social life sucks and you still have never drank or even went out, thats why. You say you dont like sluts, but sorry man all girls are sluts. Bro do your own thing, you just ruined your entire childhood for a religion and look what it has got you, nothing, you never kissed a girl and your miscing all day looking ugly as fuk. You're so against everything because of your religion that it has got you nothing, except for a good made up afterlife that you seem to think so.

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Dude I think you might have something wrong with your brain. Why are you trying to be all cyberbully on me. Do you really think anyone cares about you. You talk to people like they are trash. Why would you want to come off like that. Does it make you feel tough? Are you trying to make up for having a small smelly dick? You need to see a shrink. Have fun going through life wondering why people don't like you. I'll give you a hint though, you try to make others feel like ****. But you have failed on me. I know what you are. See, the thing is, I'm a nice guy. You on the other hand can't control your stupidity. You really don't even realize that you are a jerk ,do you? When your older maybe you can look back on times like this and see that you where unnecessarily rude to people you don't know. Right now you think you are being cleaver and it is just a fun time. Keep treating people like you do and see where you end up. You can not compete with my intellect so I warn you to give up before you embarrass yourself further..

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lmagine this. You are attracted to women, like you are now (emotionally and sexually), but they do not exist. They existed a long time ago, and no one knows what they looked like (They have a pretty good idea from the fossils, however), but they do not exist anymore. That means, not only do you know there will never be any possibility of you having sex with one, but there's not even a possibility of you ever seeing one in real life. Everyone else, however, except for a very few, are not attracted to women, they are attracted to something else entirely. So in other words, you will never find any porn anywhere on the internet, only non-sexual pictures of women. Everyone you have told about your attraction to women think it's disgusting. To relieve yourself, you get off on the non-sexual pictures of women, knowing it will never get any better.

That's what life is like to me.

I am a degree 6 Zoosexual, sexually and emotionally attracted to Tyrannosaurs and nothing else. Women don't even do it for me. I am cursed to live my life in the misery that my most powerful emotional fantasies will never be even close to coming true. Life is like hell to me. I will never know true love.

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Your mother is a whore and the daughter of a whore. Your father was likely her brother, but could have been any of her cousins. I'd have a second deliver a card on a silver platter, but your kind generally wouldn't understand it, and doesn't deserve much more than a dog-whipping anyway. You havn't got a clue. You couldn't get a clue if you smeared yourself with clue musk and danced the clue mating dance in a field full of horny clues in clue mating season. Your eyebrows meet in the middle, your forehead slopes, your pet gerbil wants you dead. Your mother would dress you funny if she could afford clothes. You're the primary reason bigots hate your ethnic group. You were obviously not toilet-trained correctly, which explains the stains on the floor of your cardboard box. Your webbed feet go well with the pointy forehead. Your manners are hideous, your brain minute, and your body odor could fell an ox. You would fit in on a short bus to a convention of Fundies.You are a living, breathing poster-child for birth-control and abortion.You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?You are a waste of flesh, food and air. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.You smarmy lagerlout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You grotty wanking oik artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking twit. You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven dewberry pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb. You dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you, and I wish you would go away.I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, arassive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, abrasive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.Go pee in an electrical outlet.

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Yeah, I used to be allowed to walk my dog in public. This all changed back in 1998 when me and my Labrador took our relationship to the next level. It was an ordinary dog walk on a regular Tuesday evening in the suburbs. Chandler finished defecating and I got the doggy bag ready. As I bent over to pick up his droppings, he moved behind me and attempted to mount me. I was shocked! I did a quick double take to make sure no one was around, and removed my drawers. Chandler began humping me through my skirt and I lifted it up for him to penetrate me. I backed up until I felt his knob on my labia, and he started to pump. I had sex with my dog many times before, but the idea of doing it out in public never came across my mind. For some reason people find it taboo. He was pounding me so quick that I felt his cock throbbing like he was gonna come any second. I couldn't muffle my moans any longer. I picked up his droppings and took a huge whiff, getting some on my nose and upper lip. I backed up until his knob penetrated me and screamed in pleasure. Chandler unloaded in me and we were both spent. We collapsed on the sidewalk together and watched the stars pass as his semen leaked out of me, when I stood up I realized a man roughly the age of 70 was staring at me through his window 12 feet away. We made brief eye contact and he passed out. I had to get out of there quickly! I picked up my underwear and we made a dash for my house.

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Now, I’m sure many of you have encountered little ****s in supermarkets. Little kids running about and knocking things over, being rude, walking all over their parents, you know the kind. But the worst are the biters. Yes, those little ****s that feel it is okay to bite you whenever they feel like it. Okay, here’s the best part. A biter got me today when I was grocery stopping. He broke the ****ing skin, too. This was when the gears started turning, the moment I saw a tiny sprinkle of blood on the little ****’s teeth as he was grinning at me like the little **** he is. I made my eyes get wide, and started screaming “****! ****!.” Now, my good friend, Tom we’ll call him, was there too, and he instantly picked up on it. He started shouting “****! MAYBE HE DIDN’T GET IT! ****!”. By now, the kid is scared ****less and starts crying, and instantly, Mizz Mom appears out of nowhere and starts getting pissy at us for yelling at her kid. Here’s the kicker, I look her straight in the eye and say, “Ma'am, get your son tested as soon as possible, he just bit me and I’m… I’m ****ING HIV POSITIVE.” And now there is silence. Not a peep in the entire store. The brat knows he just ****ed up big time because his mom isn’t defending his ass. She just stares at me wide eyed. I walk away from them, buy my **** from the wide eyed cashier, all the while blood is dripping from my calf, making a nice little trail on the floor. And, just as we leave, we start to hear the mother sobbing. Sobbing like the **** she is. I have never felt any more satisfaction than the moment I heard that sob. I'm not really HIV Positive, but that little **** must've gotten in a ****heap of trouble.

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I laugh at all you ***gots who are imprisoned in a relationship. They are worthless. The only men who need their better half were half a man to begin with.

Look what I get to do. I wake up, and go surfing in the morning before work. Then I change in my car and head off to my job where I make 110,000 a year. I work for 6 hours, then come home. I can listen to music, and even go on /b/ if I'm ahead schedule.

Then I get off work, and get to come home and relax in front of my 21" LCD monitor, which has a custom build, Quad-Core Processor, and have 2 8800 ULTRA video cards. 8 gigs or ram. 1 TB HD for games and other progs, and an external 1 TB HD for porn, and movies. I've also got a $500 chair, that is comfortable as ****, and a 9.1 surround system, in my room and my living room. I can run Crysis on Very High and get 50 FPS. Every other game runs flawlessly. I also have a t1 internet connection for downloading anything I want within minutes. I never lag in a game.

I've got a Fleshlight, and have a 10 grand real doll I'm considering buying. Yes, I've had a gf before, and this feels pretty damn close. 9/10 to a real pussy. I recommend the wonder wave to other anons. I've got a 72 Camero I rebuilt, and put about 50 grand into. It's ****ing bad ass. I've also got a nice 2 story home. Have been making 90k-110k the last 5 years.

I have absolutely no stress in my life. No worthless **** nagging, no worthless **** expecting me to buy her ****, entertain her, etc...It's amazingly relaxing. If I had a gf, or a wife I would not have half the cool **** I do right now. All the time I spend on hobbies and other things would be sucked up. Women are ****ing worthless money grubbing, attention whoring...WHORES

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Mother****ing ****. I was just masturbating and everything was going great. I was in my room, i had my headphones on, i was totally naked sitting at my computer fapping away to a video on redtube. All of a sudden there's this really sharp pain in my dick, like it just got stabbed with a sewing needle. I jerked my hand back and it bumped into my computer tower, which sits on the desk. Well, i had my stick of deodorant on top of the tower, and that bitch fell off and landed deodorant-end-down on the head of my cock. Holy ****ing **** did that hurt, and on top of that it hit so hard that it actually forced some deodorant into my urethra. I've never had anything burn so bad in my entire life. I jumped out of my ****ing chair and stood up because it hurt so bad; this caused my headphone cable to get yanked out of my speakers, which caused "oh yeah baby come deep in my tight teen ******* uh uh uh" to get blared through my ****ing house and almost maximum volume. Now my eyes are watering from the pain of the deodorant inside my cock but i manage to punch one of my speakers hard enough so they turn off. I looked down and noticed blood dripping off of my cock; i guess the lip of the plastic deodorant thing bit into my foreskin as it connected with my cock. The blood was dripping down my leg.

This all happened in the space of maybe 6 seconds. It may seem bad but it gets worse. Just as i'm standing there trying to figure out what the **** happened, my bedroom door ****ing opens. My dad was standing there with my acceptance letter to johns hopkins. I froze and he stared at me, naked with my bloody erection for maybe 15 seconds before he noticed my computer monitor and the brutal anal sex scene going on full-screen. He immediately closed the door and left without saying anything. This may seem embarrassing but my dad is a seriously conservative christian. This happened about 15 minutes ago and he hasn't said anything to me yet. I'm still in my room trying to get the god damn ****ing old spice out of my cock. What should i do

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If i was a girl, i would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so i would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then i would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house, and i would do it until i had so many that the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses, then i would have a kid and when they're bad i would make them sit in the fetus room.

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Ok i was at the YMCA swimming pool and me and this girl are good friends. So outside she was saying like we should go to family change room. I was wondering why, but i didnt question her. So when we entered i went to the change room, and she said she will stay outside at the lockers and change. Because nobody was there. And after i changed into my swimming trunks i jumped out of the changing booth and bam~ she was standing there exposing her but. Then she turned around to get something out of her swimming bag. and i saw her front body parts. It was my first time seeing a naked girl in real life, and i was shocked that her V*GINA had hair on it, and i didnt have any hair since im a late bloomer. She screamed at me and i ran out and said sorry on msn. And she wont even talk to me anymore! how do i get her to be my friend again...i dont want our friendship to be broken just cuz i saw her with fully naked??

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Are you aware that you are just about as annoying and clingy as the dingleberry hanging on my ass hairs? Your incoherent babble makes me want to stick my cock in your mouth to make you shut-up. You think your lame and belittling jokes will help you gain admittance from your online peers? You are unoriginal and a little 16 year old punk probably who is pasty white with no friends. When you were busy swimming in your dad's weiner, I was out working in the hot sun placing fences, digging ditches, and working harder than you could ever imagine. I've experience life and it was not ****ing easy. You have no idea what a real person is, considering you've been eating ****ing bananas behind the protection of your computer you gay ass mofo. You're a pathetic bloodfart who thinks he's some e-tough guy. Try being a bit more creative and MAYBE you will be taken seriously.

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Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive.

Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man's life is--how many "cool," "exciting" and prestigious things he is doing or connected to.

They are interested in how other people view him--how many people want to be around him, how other people interact with him and whether their interactions convey that he is special and amazing. They want him to be extremely outgoing and aggressive, they want him to demonstrate his status over other people by dominating them in various non-violent ways.

A woman's attraction to a man is a function of her jealousy at the thought of another woman having that man. She doesn't care who he actually is or EXACTLY what he looks like physically, she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has constructed around himself.

A woman basically is a greedy materialistic prostitute. Although that sounds vulgar, it's true. She trades her physical self to buy into the success a man has created for himself.

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My muscles are so supremely sculpted and refined that some people speculate that I am not actually real, but that I am simply a mirage; they believe that the aesthetic fairy sprinkles aesthetic dust on a few lucky souls, and for 1 millisecond they see the unimaginable dream of aesthetics: ME.

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I read this guy's post and immediately said to myself, i'm going to sit right down and tell this motherfcker exactly how i eat my motherfcking steel cut oatz

i make a gigantic fcking batch every four days. When im done i have an enormous bowl of steel cut oatz and at this point i generally take the first few feet of my cock out of my pants and fap because the sight is beautiful

every morning i take a goodly portion of that fcking pond of glory and i pour vanilla fcking soymilk in the fcking bowl with the fcking oatz and i put them in the microwave where i picture them fcking while they heat up

i've now got a bowl of hot oatz and an infallibly rigid dick but i am not done motherfcker and it is not yet time to eat

i reach around behind me and grab my nuts from the cupboard and sprinkle a bunch of walnuts into the fcking bowl. I grab my raisins and i shake my raisins into that fcking bowl, i grab my prunes and i lay my prunes into that fcking bowl, and i grab my fcking naked banana and i layer it into that fcking bowl.

At this point i collapse onto the floor and fck a new hole into the hardwood of my kitchen because i just can't fcking stand my gorgeous fcking oatz, then i stand up and i eat that fcking bowl, the whole fcking thing including the bowl itself, without any utensils and then i go throw myself at the sex doll i have dressed up like the quaker oatz guy and i literally fck it until my neighbors call the cops.

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Look, you fat phuck... Let me lay out the truth for you, seeing as you appear to be completely delusional about yourself, men, women, and life in general.

You ARE fat. In fact, you're obese. Yes, your tits are large but in no way shape or form are they desireable. They most likely hang like an African tribal chick's. That's just the way it is, you can't help it, but the least you can do is admit it and stop trying to come off as a more rationally responsible poster than anybody else - because anybody with half a brain can see through your bullsht charade.

Shyt, to be blunt, you don't even have an attractive face. You talk about how many chubby chasers there are out there and how many dudes that want to smash you... Well, sorry to break it to you luv, but the guys that want to smash you just recognize you as an easier target than a girl they'd consider, potentially, out of their league. No 'chubby chaser', given the choice, is going to choose your moley fat face over an athletic, fit woman with facial aesthetics. It's just that simple, mate.

And regarding the 25 desperate dicks you've had in your mouth... Yes, the higher the number of individual sexual partners you have, the higher the risk of contracting an STI. I mean, it's simple mathematics, but seeing as you told a miscer to go back to sex-ed for point that fact out... I present you this: http://www.actforyouth.net/resources/rf/rf_sti_0510.pdf

Have fun with it.

After you're done reading, take 15 steps back from the computer and phuck yourself in the face you whale bish. Try not to wear out your cardiovascular system with those 15 steps though, fatty.

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That's funny because yesterday i walked into gnc looking for some gakic creakic and naturally some cell tech, the clerk looked at me and smiled, and told me that we have some free samples in the back room. I followed him in, and he led me through poorly-lit hallways and into a room with a table that looked like a medieval torture device, attached to it were several bottles of celltech creakic gakic and anavol.

But as I looked at them, the clerk suddenly grabbed me and threw me on the table, where it immediately had some sort of locking device that kept me on the table with my ass in the air and mouth locked open. I felt my pants being pulled off and soon felt a thick cock slide into my ass. At first it was painful but after a few minutes I had 'opened up' so to speak. He came around to my mouth and i was forced to suck my baby's dick clean, practically licking off yesterdays lunch. Now heres where it gets weird, he pressed a button on the wall and the table began to vibrate slightly...in the mirror in front of me i could see the celltech and other muscletech products being mixed into a single batter by the machine, and after a few minutes a scooper came down and poured the batter into my already gaping ass. The clerk went around and began pounding me again, ramming the celltech batter deeper into my ass. Eventually he came and i tried to fart or **** out the batter along with his cum. But instead he came to my mouth again and i was forced to suck off all the celltech batter and cum that was on his dick..after a few minutes, the celltech got to me and i began to feel dizzy, everything was spinning around me and the last thing i remember was my baby saying 'hope you liked your free samples'.

I woke up this morning on my kitchen floor, barely able to walk and surrounded by 5 bottles of celltech, and 3 bottles of each of the other muscletech products. I checked the scale and I had gained 10 pounds of lean muscle. I guess muscletech products really do work, but at what cost?

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Nice squats. And by nice squats I mean I wish

you were dead. And by I wish you were dead I

mean I'm going to drag you into the desert at

noon, strip you naked, strap you to an ant hill

with honey slathered over your genitalia and cut

off your eyelids so you have to stare at the sun

until you die of starvation.

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I like to wear an elaborate Jar Jar Binks costume

and mask as part of my every day life. I went to

the grocery store, and saw how depressed

everyone was so I thought I would help. I

started dancing in the aisles, and yelling at

people, and running up to people and taking

things out of their cart. It was great fun. Then

when I went to check out, there was only one

lane open and a long line. I screamed and

screamed while in line and danced, bumping

into other people. I opened a box of baking

soda and threw it around. Finally I got to the

checkout. I started making noises at the cashier,

and I kept pressing buttons on the computer.

Some people in line were groaning because the

line was getting very long, but that gave me

even more incentive to make them laugh. I

climbed onto the table and started kicking

peoples groceries on the floor and singing. The

manager and one of his goons pulled me off and

said I could never shop there again. Can I sue

for harassment or possibly assault?

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Dearest Thread Originator,

When my eyes first glanced upon your rather

eloquently worded treatise regarding this

particular subject, it did not require much time,

nay, dare I say it was in fact almost

instantaneous that I was able to summarize that

your post- though masterfully written with such

quality that it may indeed rival the

quintessential prose of authors such as

Dostoevsky, Baldwin or perhaps even Joyce-

was quite prolix; based upon the

aforementioned conclusion, I resolved that I

would exercise no more of my mental faculties

in the act of comprehending the text that you

had written.

Sincerely, and wholly unequivocally yours,

Wierzbowski

Post Scriptum,

In the future it would be most advantageous,

not only for me but also the other members of

this forum that you provide a brief summary of

your text that emphasizes the more principle

points of what you have composed.

Post Post Scriptum,

I would also like to make one additional

comment if I may. It is in my humble and most

earnest opinion that you are of the caliber of

person whose taste appeals to prurient interests

due to unassailable fact that you are a

homosexual.

_____________

To all phaggots telling me to use my hands...i

hope for your sake you arent seriouss and thats

how u usually unclog a toilet...that **** is

disgusting who in there right mind would put

there hand in the toilet

not to mention if u accedentaly flush while ur

hand is in there u got a big fukking problem. im

not willing to lose my hands over this u idiots

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I usually go to the bathroom and use the stall

for disabled people. Put some paper towels on

the ground and do some push-ups. Then do

some isometric exercises like push against the

wall. Also put your hands on the toilet seat and

do some dips. When you come out of the

bathroom try and keep pumped by staying

active and flexing your muscles every once in a

while, covertly.

Good luck

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I don't know brah, maybe I can't stand listening

to your jargon anymore. The fact that you talk a

lot of **** that you can not back makes me

believe that you do a lot of reading and not a lot

of lifting. How Can you give advice to people

without truly understanding what you are

saying? The answer is you can't ..... You can not

tell someone something without knowing if it

works or not. You have no experience lifting.

You hardly know anything. Everything you do

know you read in a book or stole from someone

else. You have no factual eveidence that it

works. You just take advice from credible

sources and post them as your own....As an

aspiring personal trainer, who has actually spent

time working in a gym, watching and criticizing

and experimenting. Stop posting. You don't

know what youre talking about. You know it

too.

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I work for a large employer, so we have

multiple cafeterias on campus. Every once in a

while, I'll go get a large bowl of chili for lunch.

Well, these cheapskates limit you to 2 packages

of crackers with your bowl of chili, but today

they had all sorts of delicious whole wheat

crackers (very rare for this place). So I decided

to stock up.

As I'm stuffing my pockets with packages of

crackers, one of the cafeteria worker ladies

comes up to me and says, "limit 2 packages per

order of chili", and I honestly flashed her the

trollface... just to see what she would say:

and she said, "didn't you hear me? i said 2

packages." I kept the trollface strong and stood

there like a statue. She said, "i don't think you

are understanding me." and I just continued to

trollface. She just turned around and left, and I

walked off with my pockets fully lined with

delicious wheat treats.. I checked out and took

my extra 10 packages of crackers with me.

I've never tried trollface in the workplace

before, but I thought what better time than to

try it on an hourly cafe worker? It worked

surprisingly well, and I will now use it more

often.

_____________

There is actually 1 episode

of Star Trek Next Generation .. one that I know

of anyway.. where Picard is able to see what

Geordi sees through his visor on his view

screen.. which basically looked like some blobs

on the screen.. Picard asked how Geordi could

even recognized someone only being able to see

like that, and Geordi said he got used to it..

oddly enough, Geordi used to be at the helm..

kind of a joke.. the blind guy is driving… not

sure if there is another episode like this but the

only other time I remember them showing what

Geordi can see was in the movie First Contact,

but at the point he had upgraded to new

implants and his vision was incredible, he was

able to zoom a hundred yards out.

_____________

Do you even know what you're talking about? I mean i've heard some dumb stuff before but your post by far takes the cake. Thanks to you I now have to go to the doctor's to make sure I haven't developed an aneurysm in my brain. I dont mean to be rude but I could probably form a more logical and coherent statement by repeatedly smashing my face on the keyboard. You have the IQ of a hyena with brain damage and I nor anyone else here knows how you manage to make a bowl of cereal without burning down your house. I hope next time you post you will seriously consider doing your homework first so that I dont have to take time out of my day to write out my frustrations with you.

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I think it’s time we start celebrating genuine talent. For years we’ve been celebrating nothing but sex. I’ve taught children how to chew glass and pull cars with their teeth - the proof is on YouTube. I can raise a generation of super soldiers. I’ve jumped from ten-story buildings, I’ve hung myself many times and have been repeatedly run over. So, when I say I have the intellect and strength to take a lion down, people should take me seriously. Why isn’t anyone listening to me? I don’t know, but it’s very frustrating...

_____________

I used to be able to name every nut that there was. And it used to drive my mother crazy, because she used to say, "Harlan Pepper, if you don't stop naming nuts," and the joke was that we lived in Pine Nut, and I think that's what put it in my mind at that point. So she would hear me in the other room, and she'd just start yelling. I'd say, "Peanut. Hazelnut. Cashew nut. Macadamia nut." That was the one that would send her into going crazy. She'd say, "Would you stop naming nuts!" And Hubert used to be able to make the sound, he couldn't talk, but he'd go "rrrawr rrawr" and that sounded like Macadamia nut. Pine nut, which is a nut, but it's also the name of a town. Pistachio nut. Red pistachio nut. Natural, all natural white pistachio nut.

_____________

I have a severe disgust for obese people. These beings are a plague to society and an embarassment to the human race. They diminish the accomplishments of the evolving world by sending the message that "its ok to be fat". Well guess what, it isn't. I'm not going to come in here and say I'm a flawless Addones, but I believe in taking care of myself. I have a strict physical regimen I stick to every morning, followed by a day of a clean, nutritious diet. I once was sitting on a plane -- It was a long flight from NY to London -- when a fat man began to complain there wasn't enough food in his serving. To add to that, this obese blob was sitting at the aisle row, making it impossible for anyone to get around him. I decided to play a prank on him. I waited until the fat fu.ck had to take a **** and then masturbated into his milk. I hadn't masturbated in weeks so I shot a load which would make Peter North proud. The fat loser drank the jizzmilk and enjoyed every drop. I like to think of that smirk on his face whenever I see an obese person. It gives me the upper hand to know that not only am I physically superior to lardasses everywhere, but that they have my cum inside of them. It's a boost of confidence I'm sure everyone would love to have, and I strongly suggest you try it sometime.

_____________

Caught my gf pooping...so I broke up with her

She said shes off to pee while were watching a movie, now shes been gone 5 minutes and i knew something was up, i knocked on the door and asked if everything is ok, she said yes she'll be right out...her voice was labored and i became suspicious...so i yelled "IM COMING IN!' she screamed no but there was no stopping this, i smashed through the door and i see her sitting on the toilet seat, i told her to get the fuk up, she didnt so i threw her off, i looked inside the toilet...just as i suspected, a goddam log, bitch u better pray this isnt yours. i looked around and saw no pet in site, I KNOW THIS IS UR POOP U WHORE, she screamed at me that im crazy and that shes calling the cops, all the while toilet paper in her hands. i told her no need to call the cops, im breaking up with u u some kinda poop whore. and that was that. I feel like a new man and off to find a woman who doesnt poop.

_____________

I was using the urinals at my gym; i usually dont use them but since some retards decided to crap all over the seats and floor of the stalls i was forced to use them. Main reason is because im a really nervous pisser and i like the comfort of my own closed off space.

So i was happily peeing away when some guy came up and started to use the urinal next to me. At this time my piss flow completely stopped and i was trying ever so hard to get it back, trying to fill my head with happy thoughts. The guy turned to look at me for a second and i panicked, my face started to turn red and i began to sweat. I dont know wut came over me at that second but i turned to him - i looked at his face, then down at his penis...and then back at his face and then stupidly blurted out, "hey man, nice cock".

Being nervous makes you do stupid things, the guy gave me a weird and disgusted look and walked away. I had to cover my face as i walked out of my gym so the guy wouldnt notice me. I then went home and cried in my bed.

WTF IS WRONG WITH ME!

I dont know if i can ever go back to that gym again. Thinking off cancelling my membership.

_____________

How about we hold each individual responsible for their own actions instead of blaming their fathers that they were raised inappropriately.

99.99% of women in the world today are not worth any males time. They're whores and liars who think they're better than everyone else because they are women. They think they're entitled to everything. It's such a joke.

If by some miracle you ever come across one who falls into that .01% then you're a lucky guy because that sh*t is more rare than gold or diamonds these days.

Women have absolutely no personality. They're all this cookie cutter model of bullsh*t that you see on those reality shows and sh*t. It's really very sad how far women have fallen into today's age.

And to be totally honest it wasn't always this way. The quality of women has declined in dramatic fashion.

_____________

They can hit pretty hard with their beaks. Just remember to maintain eye contact (like mentioned above). That is probably the most important rule when facing down a goose (or any number of them, they like to fight in packs.) Also another important strategy is to spread your lats out, this will intimidate them. If the challenge is accepted the goose will spread its wings out as a sign to commence battle. The best way to start off the fight is to run straight at it and flap your arms while still spreading your lats (hard to do, but easily accomplished with a few weeks training.) The goose will either be scared off at this point, or ready to take you on. If the latter is true, prepare for a long fight because once a goose decided to attack, he's in it to win it.

_____________

But listen up fellas, it isn't the feeling you get that makes getting your ass licked worth it. It's the idea that a ho would degrade themselves into licking a hairy beast of an area (at least on me). I mean licking a hoez ass is one thing; they're slightly more groomed, and usually us guys demand a shower beforehand. However, I have routinely gotten hoez to lick my poop hole without even a wipe to clean out. I don't know about you, but I get stripes in my underwear on a daily basis, so it gives you an idea of what these hoez have to deal with. And man they do it with a damn smile on their face. That's why I like it; I make these hoez believe (brainwash, traumatize, call it whatever) that this is their sole reason to exist.

_____________

Why did he pick the Heat to root?

It's his fault we lost. I am literally in tears right now. Its been 4 days since the faithful night. But to me it has felt like 4 months. I have trouble sleeping at night. Not even the Lucid dream thread is helping. When I wake up I turn on the TV and the first thing I see is fuarkin SC with another chart of how Dirk had 24 in crunchtime and Lebron had zero. I change the channel to ESPN 2 and I phuckin see PTI and theyre discussin Lebron.I turn off the TV and I eat my cereal alone while I read the back of the box on how the 12 nutrients can help my day. I then play FIFA for about 5 hours so as to avoid any channel of communications. I get texts daily from friends asking if I watched the game. They hate the Heat. I never answer them, I havent answered a call in about 2 days. Sometimes I watch the recording on the DVR and hope the Heat come back in the 4th quarter. They never do. I turn th TV off again when theres a minute left in the game. I still havent watched Dallas celebrate, even tho I have watched the game countless of times. After I do this I sit on the toilet and ponder my life, sometimes I play Angry birds. I ultimately end up showering. and after that I pass out on my bed crying. When I wake up I put on my Wade jersey and watch The Game one more time, hoping for a different outcome. It never happens. After this I make myself dinner, which at this point I'm running out of frozen chicken parms since I havent left my place in 5 days. Usually around this time the Marlins are playing. I put on the game. They lose. I go to sleep. crying.

This is my life after The Game.

_____________

they served turkey there you ugly piece of ****

I said i had ****ing turkey too. What ****ing part of that does your scrotum-sized cranium not comprehend? Just cause i had turkey doesn't mean that was the only ****ing thing i had. Holy ****ing **** if i ever saw you irl i would absolutely break your ****ing knee caps like holy **** bro you have no clue how much ****ing pain i would give you.

not everyone can afford a ****ing dining room you stupid little bitch. next time you talk ****, ill rip your ****ing face off. you think im playin ***got? go ahead, try me. cant talk **** if every shred of skin is permanently removed from your ****ing skull.

_____________

god damnit OP I knew you wouldn't have

pics. When I saw the thread title on my

screen I said to myself, "don't bother

Heracles, you know this phaggot won't

have bothered to put pics in the thread." I

sat there for a couple minutes, staring as

hard as I could at the thread title. Beads of

sweat started to form on my forehead, my

eyes were beginning to bulge and my jaw

was clenched so tight I'm surprised my

teeth didn't shatter. My force of will was so

palpable I thought my intensity would cause

my laptop to explode. I manage to

summon the highest amount of courage I

could muster, and I clicked on the thread.

You did this to me, OP. Are you still there?

Because when my eyes flashed over the

original post and didn't register any pics my

rage was so visceral that for a second I was

sure that I had killed you just by thinking it.

Any second now diarrhea is going to shoot

out of my ass like a volcano. Why, OP? Why

did you do this

_____________

Sometimes when I at home alone I like to play a game called "Vegetable" where I lay in the ground and do nothing for several hours. Then, when someone comes home, they will find me laying in my garden. Today I was broccoli.

-------------

The other day I accidentally an entire Coca Cola bottle.

_____________

Right, I say, you are one frivolously cheeky kunt mate, I daresay I would handily best you in a fisticuffs, I promise on the Queen Mother's life. And I am certain you are frightened, you trifling swine, imploring your comrades to ring me up on the telly, declaring that we shant engage in bare-knuckled combat, because you are an imposing mongrel of renowned size. It is hard to contain my audible laughter. I do say, mate, it is deplorable, indeed, truly calamitous, and it ably demonstrates what an anxious, miniature lad of questionable masculinity you are. And what is this bullocks your chums are sending me, about a web-site dedicated to the betterment of male muscular fitness? Good lord, sir, is this your choice arena to let your eyes linger upon those of the male gender? You insignificant, petty homosexual, ring me if you possess testicular fortitude, you abominable fiend, and see if you can rise to the occasion, nancy-boy.

_____________

so i have to do presentation for class

-awkward as ****

-start working out

-not so awkward

-zyzz is my inspiration

-presentation again

-trembling

-just keep telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"

-get confident

-my turn

-i get up there

-start shaking uncontrollably

-start telling myself "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"

-teacher says I can start anytime

-I start off with "i'm fawkin zeez bruh"

-at this point I'm so nervous I blackout

-"i'm fawkin zeez bruh"

-repeat at least 4 more times

-look around the room, people are saying "why does he keep saying that?"

-girls start laughing

-I pass out

-hit head on the corner of teacher's desk

-minor concussion

-teacher thinks I was on drugs

-classmates call my zeezprah

-nickname eventually turns into zebra

-i haven't heard my real name in months

-haven't been this depressed since high school

_____________

I've been following your progress pics for a while now. You are a big, strong alpha male, and for this reason and this reason alone, I will rep you.

_____________

My dad was an Construction Engineer in Bosnia that worked with some guys involved in the Russian mob (I do not know the names or the people of which mob they were affiliated with) My parents were having problems with one another which caused my dad to drink a lot. He would eventually become an alcoholic. Dad started hanging out with those guys because they would pay for his trips around Europe and a few countries in Asia, along with tons of booze and women.

My parents got a divorce and my mother took me and my sister to live in Switzerland. I don't know what what happening to my father because I was too young and my mother cut complete contact from him. Around this time, the War broke started and a lot of my family members were killed.

It was weird but 10 years ago I heard from my grandmother that my father was involved in a fight and had to spend time in jail in Israel. After he got out, nobody saw him ever again. I didn't care because I didn't know him at all and I was kind of mad that he abandoned us during the worst time possible

_____________

because youre MY friend. and you know her through ME. but not anymore. i dont give a **** what you do. im done trying. you always give me **** about being a bad friend, but youre the worst ****in friend ive ever had

i dont know how many times ive told you not to mess with people in my life but you do it anyways. you never hang out with me. i have to invite my ****in self over to your house just to chill. youre selfish as ****. you obnoxiously eat everything in my house. jesus ****in christ brandon i had to buy you a ****in movie ticket just so youd come out with is the other night. do you really not see how big of an ******* you are to me? and everyone sees it. not just robin. not just a girl. everyone. and im done being in denial and im done sticking up for you. you wanna be an *******, be an *******. but dont **** with MY life. and i really dont give a **** what you have to say

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You are a squeaking rat, a mistake of nature and a heavy-metal bagpipe player. You were not born. You were hatched into an unwilling world that rejects the likes of you. You didn't crawl out of a normal egg, either, but rathe...r a mutant maggot egg rejected by an evil scientist as being below his low standards. Your alleged parents abandoned you at birth and then died of shame in recognition of what they had done to an unsuspecting world. They were a bit late.

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No offense bro but you are the ugliest mother****er I have ever seen. If I didn't know any better I'd assume your mom was a titty waitress at hooters, got pregnant, was fired for her slump in appearance, then couldn't afford an abortion

so... she had the local kids try and whack her bulging fetus like a piñata. Only you survived and that's how you ended

up with such a disfigured face. Either that or you got baptized with scolding hot coffee. I bet if a blind kid felt your

face he'd be asking why there's a pizza on this camels ass. ****s disgusting bro get it sorted or at least wear a bucket

over your head or something. peace.

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Sup ****...go back to my facebook you ****ing stalker im sure you're wacking off to me right now...****ing loser ...I probably get poon in a week then you probably get in your whole life...keep following on facebook man i do need some more groupies----Hey reblog this!!!! BTW all american wrestler and collegiate rugby player i can back my **** up bet you nothing but a 15 year old cholo

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I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

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Usually when people talk ****, I just brush it off, but now, it's gone a little to far. Assclown, you talk as you know me but in reality you don't know **** about me. I'm guessing you've never been in a situation involving a real live thug that was born and raised in the ghetto/hood(me). Yes i've turned my life to good, but i will throw all that out the window if you continue to talk **** about me. I've killed a few people back in my banging days and Just remember next time before you open your mouth, you better be praying that i'm in a good mood, or else you'll be in for a rude awakening when the thug in me unleashes.

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who do you think you are tough guy you trying to kick me out like i spilt milk u better man up and throw it down like a wild orangatang buddy boy because i don't take being kicked out kindly cowboy go ahead kick me out again make my day sunshine i could whoop ur phany in a pog battle pokemon battle and even a rumble in a chuck e cheese ball pit anytime anywhere just do it

please respond

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hello heavenly blessed beauty that i would never be able to trust but would have semi drunken sex with and relish it for the rest of my life, always remembering the perfect detail of your impeccable ass, and perfectly shaped pussy that is so clean near the butthole and glistens the perfect shade of pink when aroused, and also remembering the natural smell of your pheromones combined with the expensive salon hair treatments you regularly receive, and the gentle but firm grip of your french tip nail treatments against my muscular back while i pound you for 10 minutes and pray with the love of everything that is holy that i can hold out a little longer while you moan the most perfect moans that make my cock quiver, and mid thrust i realize, if i move even a fraction of an inch, i will blow my enormous load deep into the heavenly and fertile nether regions of your cervix, you will then slide off my still throbbing cock and continue on with your amazing life of being incredibly hot while i savor just the memory for years to come, until i die.

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Lol at u, this is the problem with the 21st century. Everybody demands instant gratification. We want everything and we want it now. Instant everything. Instant gains, instant messages, email, fax, internet. Instant food, the faster the better. Instant education, job, wealth. Instant medical service, diagnosis, and an instant cure. Instant family. Instant travel. Instant information. Instant banking. Right or wrong, good or bad, we want it now. Do you think caveman had access to steroids? No they didnt, they had to hunt for their food. Nobody lights a fire these days. People don't even light ovens anymore. It takes just too long to heat up a meal. It takes just too much patience. I'm hungry now, not 40 minutes from now. That's why God gave us microwave ovens. Just pop the food in and whrrr –BEEP- out it comes, nicely warmed for immediate consumption. That's not how I view happiness. Patience is a virtue of the great and few possess it. All good things comes to those who wait when it comes down to exercising patience.

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I think that unicorns are alpha. It's a f*cking horse with a f*cking horn growing out of its f*cking head! The only way they could be anymore alpha is if they came equipped with Stinger missles on the side. Then you could ride them over to your ex girlfriends house and blow that **** up. If anyone in her family survives, you could spear them with the horn as they crawl out of the rubble and try to run. Then, you could parade around the neighborhood with her grandma's lifeless body on the end of the horn, and proclaim your alphaness, as you watch her neighbors tremble in fear. Then you would be the Unicorn King, and children would sing songs of your adventures for generations to come. Armies would paint murals in your honor with the blood of their vanquished enemies. Man, that would be rad!

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My retarded ass gave myself genital herpes. I hate myself and think the world should take some time out and cap my sorry ass. Wanna know how I did it? I went out to a club. But before was sure to clear my lips of all outbreak. I got totally ****faced at the club and got home. I met no women, because I'm a straight loser so I decided to crank up the computer and look at some online porn. I also thought it'd be a good idea to throw some chewing tobacco in my mouth before hand. Well needless to say I didn't even think to wash my hands before self-indulgence. The next day I felt a burning sensation on my dick and looked at it later that night. Nothing, next day though I took another look I have five little tiny zits right where I place my index finger on penis when I whack it. Good thing I used my index finger to pull my lip out to throw a dip in. Now I'm just a total ****ing loser. Balding, with herpes and without a single friend. I am truly an island. I even know who I got herpes from...myself. I just wanna die. I've never had a real girlfriend and if I ever end up with one I'll be scraping the bottom of the barrel. I've thought about putting out a personals add. BALDING WITH HERPES SEEKS GIRL WITH PULSE. I wanna shrivel up into nothing in a world with no one, this plague has made me twenty times shier and than I already was. Please freeze me until a cure is here and I have enough money for some hair plugs. ****, its wasn't so bad when you could say looks don't count. Now I'm just a washed up piece of ****.

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Bro, i was going to respond to u, but then after viewing ur bodyspace, i realised u look like a teenager. the thing about teenagers, is u seem to think u have the whole world figured out. mate, im 20, youve got nothing on me. ur a kid, and have a lot to learn. its funny i just spoke to said on the phone and i like how so many ppl here on fb have a loud voice, tho none of yous ever approach us with ur 'sick****ness' irl. just to emphasise on this point, everybody knows where we train, yet nobody ever dares come down to express the hatred to us to our face....intredasting fact no?

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LMAO @ Digimon. WTF! I remember back in the day me and the local crew would gang up with our bad ass 90 HP PLUS Poke decks and wreck the fuk out of digi-homo players! HA! Loser poor kids, should have got a life and had cooler parents and maybe they wouldnt have had my firestones and moon rocks shoved up their ass. Jeez, I remember this one kid, we too like ten ****ty azz energy cards and made him eat it. He just sat their and cried while we practiced real life poke-moves on him (for when we went to do other cool kid stuff). I ****ing did a flame thrower kick flip and knocked a fukin tooth right out of his stupid digi-***g mouth. We all high fived and walked away and laughed. What a fukin loser that kid was. Last I heard he is half retarded now. Probably from when joey used to bash him with a box of rat poison on fridays at the bus stop. Whats the lesson? Dont EVER fuking play digimon around me mouther ****ers or ill put a ****ing bullet in you.

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Put your mother in a straight-jacket you punk ass white boy. Come here and tell me that, I'll **** you in your ass you punk white boy. You ***got. You can't touch me, you're not man enough. I'll eat your ******* alive, you bitch. C'mon anybody in here can't **** with this. This is the ultimate, man. **** you, you ho. Come and say it to my face.... I'll **** you in the ass in front of everybody. You bitch.... come on, you bitch. You're scared coward, you're not man enough to **** with me. You can't last two minutes in my world, bitch. Look at you scared now, you ho.... scared like a little white pussy. Scared of the real man. I'll **** you 'til you love me, ***got!

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Why give these fellas a hard time? They in all probability lack any sort of education, if they have jobs it is probably a day/night of menial tasks for menial money. They start out in life with little self worth and are dictated by the zionists to live up to a certain image. Now, with that in mind, you can understand why "getting swole" "getting big" "getting scary" is so awesome to them, it has such a high priority in their lives. They can have pride in it and show pride in it. No worries though, as they about as functional as a straw hut in a cyclone.

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Talk about a ****ed up face. If you looked up "busted" in a Websters dictionary, you wouldn't find a picture of her because it would be too graphic to display. In fact, busted doesn't even come close to describing how ugly she is. Her head is way too small, but I suppose that's a good thing. If she had a bigger head, her features would be more distinguished. I'd prefer her head to be microscopic so I wouldn't have to look at her pug nose and non existent upper lip.

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Either you apologise for your last comment or i swear on my bros grave if i ever fúcking see you in person i will bash and murder your fkn ugly head into the pavement you disrespectful skinny prick

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I do not like the picture at all, — in fact I cannot find words to express how much I dislike it.

You were never physically attractive to me; you are neither graceful nor beautiful, and you evidently know nothing of the laws or properties of beauty. Otherwise you could not have sent me such a picture, as it could only disgust me.

Whatever liking I have had for you, it has never been of such a character that I could be otherwise than disgusted by such a picture as that. It is unutterably coarse and gross and beefy. It is simply unendurable.

Not that I object to low dresses — or even to an utter absence of dress, when the unveiling reveals attractions which the eye of the artist loves as something shapely and beautiful. I have an instinctive and cultivated knowledge of what physical beauty is, and anything in direct violation of my taste and knowledge — like your picture, — simply sickens me. I have studied every limb and line in the bodies of fifty young women, and more; and know what form is and beauty is. You must not think me a fool. You are a fine woman in regard to health and strength; you are not a handsome or even a tolerably good looking woman physically, and your picture is simply horrible, horrible, horrible.

This is plain speaking; but I think it is necessary for you. You cannot make yourself physically attractive to me. Don't try. I am an artist, a connoisseur, a student of beauty, and it is very hard to please me. Don't disgust me, please —

Yours truly,                                 

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Day 1

Ok, I've tried re-installing my OS, upgrading ram, put new and more expensive graphics card but the pictures still aren't showing.

I decided to buy a new computer, oh the excitement.

Day 2

OP, I just spent 3000 euros on a new top of the line computer, after installing it on my office I clicked on this link again but to no avail, the pictures are still not showing. I'm starting to think there's sorcery involved.

Day 3

Got a new HP printer and printed this thread about 600 times, hoping that in one of those prints the pictures would show, but nothing.

Day 4

I haven't eaten in days, I'm thirsty, but I am stronger than this, my ctrl and R keys stop functioning, I must have clicked them a million times.

Day 5

OP is a phaggot                 

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lol call me an idiot one more time bro. i fucking dare you. i have a certain friend, let call him LUNATIC. hes been in a wheel chair for 8 years and has brutually assaulted and negged 7 men into the red. but if that’s not enough for you he could bring his friends, Bozz,CTPUMP and cause the biggest negtrain in the northeast        

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I was 9, and was getting babysat by the 18 year old boy down the street. Even at 9 I knew I had power over men. I was always getitng told how cute I was, how adorable I was. I was determied to prove that I could control a man. I still feel that I loved the boy that was babysitting me the night I did it. it wasn't rape. it was love. I knew what I was doing.

As soon as my parents left, I changed into my 'man trapping' outfit. My favorite pair of panties (pink My Little Pony) and a tank top. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head when I walked out. I played it slow, rubbing against him, on the couch. Eventually I moved onto his lap and ground my cute butt into his crotch. I could feel his manhood growing. I couldn't take it. I got up, stood infront of him, pulled down my panties, and told him to touch me.I could tell he was impressed. Even at 9, my penis was a good 4 inches erect. He worked the balls and the tip. I will always remember his strong hands around my shaft.                 

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Ok so its 2am. AND I FREAKING MISS YOU! you are so beautiful in so many ways: ). Your cuteness is unbielevable: ) there is so much I love about you. Your smile is so amazing, that when I see it I just forget about all the bad stuff that has ever happened in my life an just think about how lucky I am: ) baby, you have a perfect personality for me.....it's like we love the same foods and we always agree on contraversal subjects in this world. I love it how you come to me for advise. I love it how when you're sick or in pain or just miss me, and no matter where or who I'm with.....I'll call you and talk to you about it. I love it how I am your shoulder that you can cry on and the hug you need when you're sad. I live making traditional foods when I'm at your house, like pickle ritz and Smoothies: ) I love burning brownies with you: ) I love how when I had a tooth ache, you wanted to drop all your plans and go to the dentist with me: ) I love how you are always there for me: ) I love our good mornings and I love our good byes. You are the sweetest nicest smartest girl I know: ) I love how we talk on the phone for a total of about 11 hrs a week. I love how we call eachother during school and just say "hey baby, I miss you" I love how you are a freaking natural at bubble shooter and you taught me how to play temple run: ) I love how we take naps together: ) I love how we play with eachothers pets and love em: ) I live how no matter what delema were in, we can always make it fun and laugh, (for example: when my brakes went out completely and we were coasting around the parking lot with my foot all the way down on the brakes). I love it when you laugh, its adorable: ) I love love love love love being sweet to you: ) i love how after your homecoming, I was already comfortable ennough to whisper sing to you: ) I love how we have the same style: ) I love surprising you, and seeing your smily reaction: ) I love how when I came to your school on Valentine's day, you were dressed so beautiful and you had me spend the rest of the day at school with you. I love how much I wanna brag about you, no matter how bad it annoys my friends. I love how creative our gifts are and how they have meaning. I love how we wrote eachother letters and notes: ) I love cuddling with you: ) I love it how when we go for a drive, you'll cuddle my arm: ) I love how insanely bad I just wanna wake you up with a kiss every morning: ) I wanna make you breakfast in bed. I wanna let you know everyday how crazy about you I am: ) I love how if our relationship had a mascot, it'd be a lady bug lol. I love how we ruff house and always take pictures: ) your smile and adorableness makes us such a cute couple. I love Lulu and you love big dog: ) I love how we're doing track together. I love how you are super talented at every thing. I love that you have morals and a good head on your shoulders: ) I love your family: ) I love your "eek" Baby you are the girl of my dreams. I adore you every second. I love how we met and how we clicked right away: ) I love going to dances with you: ) I like your friends lol I love how your mom tells me that when I'm not around that you are always saying how cute I am: ) gosh you make me smile so much: ) I can't stop thinking about you. Baby i can't imagine another girl coming along like you: ) you are amazing! Babe, the countdown is on for the next time I get to see you, which brings me to how even though we have a semi long distance relationship, and we only see eachother 3 days a week. I still freaking love us because I know we'll be together all the time this summer and next year: ) baby I miss you: ) ♥ I hope you sleep amazing tonight: ) night baby, I can't stop thinking about you: ) goodnight baby: )                                

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So i was at the gym doing atg squats, a solid 9/10 standing behind me. She just stands there so I assume she is just waiting to use the squat rack. I look at her in the mirror and notice that she is looking at my thighs. And then i realize why she is staring, a spaghetti straw is hanging out of my left pocket. I quickly put it back in my pocket, but then spaghetti starts falling out of my right pocket. I bend over to try pick up the spaghetti but it just keeps pouring out. I go down on all fours and desperately try to put the spaghetti back in my pockets, but it just keeps coming more and more from all of my pockets. I felt so embarrassed and felt like crying. I never went back to that gym again.                

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In west uganda, born n' raised

on the battlefield is where i spent most of my days

chillin' out, maxin' reloadin' all cool

and taking some niglets out of their school

when a couple of liberals started making me fret

started making trouble on the internet

they started on campaign and my men got demanded,

they said "you're movin' with your kids to a barracks in sudan                                                 

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I have an account on this BSMD or S&M D/s Kinky social network called CollarMe.com. I thought it would be funny to browse the website and see what kind of crazy people are out there. So I checked my inbox - as soon as you make an account your PMs are flooded - and just randomly started reading one of the messages I got. So I'm kinda spaced out and start reading this message. At first the words were all like relaxing type - like the last 5 minutes of yoga when they tell you your energy is draining from your body type stuff and because of my state of mind, i decided it was kinda cool and maybe have been working. I kept reading and kept reading and when the "energy draining" from my pelvis region came up, i felt an orgasm building. I scrolled down the message - IT WAS SUPER LONG - and I just caught bits and pieces of words here and there and some of them were "..sex slave.." "...you will answer to [Username].." "...you will continue on with your daily life.." and things like that and I just furiously started fapping and had the best orgasm ever. Then I started freaking out and now i'm wondering if i've been hypnotized into being some phaggot ass creep's internet sex slave.         

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Joseph Kony is a good Christian man, and he wants Uganda to be a Christian nation. So in 1987 he formed a resistance group called the Lord's Resistance Army and the LRA has been at civil war against the Ugandan government ever since. If the LRA wins, Kony has promised that Uganda will become a theocracy, with laws based on the Biblical Ten Commandments.

Joseph Kony is a christian so he is obviously a good man and he is fighting to take over his corrupt government. The only reason why our (U.S.) government wants to get involved is so that we can rob Africa of it's diamonds and other natural resources just like we did to Iraq. And this child slavery bullshit is just a bunch of propaganda to stand behind the excuse of going into Africa/Uganda for it's resources, Jospeh Kony takes in these poor starving children and provides them with homes, food, and work. I support Jospeh Kony and his Christian Army.

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off all the muthapuckin sites on the internet why do you phaggots who don't even lift create an account in bb.com just to make a pointless thread like this one. How's it feel knowing that a couple of months from now some obese kunt will be more jacked than you will ever be bc you choose to sit on the sidelines and create troll threads while they lift and eat a good diet. Damn i remember when trolling used to be funny. Fuk dis shyt im outta here.                 

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Bro, you're a low class peasant... just shut your mouth. Go to school, get a job to support your broke ass family, and die slow... never to be remembered. That's all you are in this life. Me, I look like Jesus and I'm sitting water front in Marina Del Rey clearing a frozen Illadelph coil about to walk down to Venice and tan in a 2eros looking ecto as ****. Tell me about your life bro.. please. I'll ****ing **** on your pitiful little existence thinking you're somebody when you aren't **** but a small minded simple name on this "asian" forum with no social life.        

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I believe this is the full blown definition of ugly... Listen fool. I don't know who you are talking to but it better not be me. It's funny how you can say someone has no social life but here you are on MY Forum Talking a whole lot of Sh!t. And it's a term perfect for that potty mouth of yours. Your breath wreaks with it. I can care less about how much money in this F^ck'n world you have, because apparently you seem quite upset about something. What's the matter? Money can't buy you happiness? You are way too level headed and heartless to care about anyone. Stuck up in your pride, arrogant bastard. Shame on your parents who's given birth to such a monstrosity. Hah! My existence has brought more happiness surrounding me than you do that's for sure. I'll admit. My life is full of crap but I'm still happy nonetheless. I am a person not some worthless piece of trash that speaks as though I'm on top of the world. If you are Jesus then why was I able to find light in the world.

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OP that is such a good story. I really can't pick "one part" that I liked the best. But if you were to hold a gun to my head, I would go with the part with the pictures. I just got off the phone with an armored truck company. They will be arriving in the morning to pick up my back up disk, which I just saved your story on to. There probably won't be much traffic, because I forwarded the police your story, and they agreed to escort the armored truck to its destination. At first the police chief didn't want to help, but then I guided his attention to the incredible pictures that you embedded along with your story. I mean, the story was good enough. But as soon as I saw the pictures that went along with it, I called my grandmother, who is blind and has Alzheimer’s disease to tell her. As far as her doctors in the nursing home are concerned, she is cured of all her ailments now that she heard your cool story. She is actually preparing to run the Boston marathon this year now. Thank you OP.

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This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women

Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.                 

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Hey Darling! awesome to have you as a friend! I appreciate your offer, but no thanks, you are 7/10 at best , and because i am alot more beautiful than you physically, i do not think there is any reason why i must undertake a 'chat' with you, as would only do so with people who are on my par genetics wise, so as to pass strong and attractive genes to my future children. Unfortunately, I'm afraid you would bring our children down 2 points, and judging by your risque DP and ability to message random guys out of the blue, you are more than likely a whore.

Thanks for add though, hope we can still be friends!                                

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New Study Published in Australian Journal of Science, Medicine, and Archaeology, Reveals that OP is a Phaggot.

A landmark study published last Thursday in the Australian Journal of Science, Medicine, and Archaeology, proves once and for all, that OP is indeed a phaggot. The results of the six month long study, while having only been released a few days ago, have already gained widespread acceptance among the scientific community. According to researchers, the study went into great depths and utilized a wide variety of research methods.

"We did everything from genetic analysis, to behavioral analysis, to even interviewing the OP's family and friends. All of our collected data points to the same conclusion. That OP is a phaggot." said Professor Biggblac Cockenstein. "In one particular experiment, we sneaked into the OP's home and replaced the hotdogs in his fridge with dildos. Upon returning home, OP proceeded to put the dildos between his buns. And I don't mean hotdog buns."

Even though the study has been proclaimed by the scientific community to be one of the greatest studies of the 21st century, not all members of the public have a positive opinion of it. One man which we interviewed yesterday, said the following:

"Why are these kunts wasting money to study something like this? Everyone already knew the answer. You might as well have a study to prove that the sky is blue and that the grass is green."

Others were much more happy to see the study completed.

"I'm a psychology major and have been following the study for the last 2 months, waiting for the results to be published. I am really happy to see the research back up my own personal observations regarding the OP."

However, no matter what one's opinion of the study may be, one thing is for certain.

The OP is a phaggot. In the words of Professor Biggblac Cockenstein: "It is scientific fact."         

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Nation Shudders At Large Block Of Uninterrupted Text                                 

                                                                                          WASHINGTON—Unable to rest their eyes on a colorful photograph or boldface heading that could be easily skimmed and forgotten about, Americans collectively recoiled Monday when confronted with a solid block of uninterrupted text.

Dumbfounded citizens from Maine to California gazed helplessly at the frightening chunk of print, unsure of what to do next. Without an illustration, chart, or embedded YouTube video to ease them in, millions were frozen in place, terrified by the sight of one long, unbroken string of English words.

"Why won't it just tell me what it's about?" said Boston resident Charlyne Thomson, who was bombarded with the overwhelming mass of black text late Monday afternoon. "There are no bullet points, no highlighted parts. I've looked everywhere—there's nothing here but words."

"Ow," Thomson added after reading the first and last lines in an attempt to get the gist of whatever the article, review, or possibly recipe was about.

At 3:16 p.m., a deafening sigh was heard across the country as the nation grappled with the daunting cascade of syllables, whose unfamiliar letter-upon-letter structure stretched on for an endless 500 words. Children wailed for the attention of their bewildered parents, businesses were shuttered, and local governments ground to a halt as Americans scanned the text in vain for a web link to click on.

Sources also reported a 450 percent rise in temple rubbing and under-the-breath cursing around this time.

"It demands so much of my time and concentration," said Chicago resident Dale Huza, who was confronted by the confusing mound of words early Monday afternoon. "This large block of text, it expects me to figure everything out on my own, and I hate it."

"I've never seen anything like it," said Mark Shelton, a high school teacher from St. Paul, MN who stared blankly at the page in front of him for several minutes before finally holding it up to his ear. "What does it want from us?"

As the public grows more desperate, scholars are working to randomly italicize different sections of the text, hoping the italics will land on the important parts and allow everyone to go on with their day. For now, though, millions of panicked and exhausted Americans continue to repetitively search the single column of print from top to bottom and right to left, looking for even the slightest semblance of meaning or perhaps a blurb.

Some have speculated that the never-ending flood of sentences may be a news article, medical study, urgent product recall notice, letter, user agreement, or even a binding contract of some kind. But until the news does a segment in which they take sections of the text and read them aloud in a slow, calm voice while highlighting those same words on the screen, no one can say for sure.

There are some, however, who remain unfazed by the virtual hailstorm of alternating consonants and vowels, and are determined to ignore it.

"I'm sure if it's important enough, they'll let us know some other way," Detroit local Janet

Landsman said. "After all, it can't be that serious. If there were anything worthwhile buried deep in that block of impenetrable English, it would at least have an accompanying photo of a celebrity or a large humorous title containing a pop culture reference."

Added Landsman, "Whatever it is, I'm pretty sure it doesn't even have a point."                         

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Wow you typed out something that you your friend posted on facebook that he linked off of 9gag that was posted on reddit last year after they saw it on 4chan? What's it like to only spend 5 minutes a week on the internet? Aware me brah.         

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wow u think this joke is funny huh white boys, well its fckin not. black people have suffered through the centuries as slaves and been called derogatory names such as *****s and coons, and now when blacks are finally free you white boys come here and make jokes about black people looking the same. Not cool white boys not cool. imagine it from a black persons perspective, they come home from a nice hard days work to chill on the internet, only to log on to the misc to see these childish jokes, i mean come on, the person in the picture is obviously 50 cent.                                 

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I'm pretty specific about the asses i like. The actual hole has to be aesthetic and pleasing to the eye. No swollen looking anuses for me. The colour also has to be to my specific taste. I hate the brownish coloured ones the most and am most turned on by the pink to almost neutral coloured anus. I like the cheeks to be soft and bouncy. None of this muscular or toned sh*t. Ass can't be too big or too small either. Somewhere in the middle is good. (no homo)                                                                                                                 

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It's people like you who ruin this world.

Humanity, mankind... trying to achieve something as a collective unit, yet everybody playing their role individually. Striving forward, never stopping or interfering.

It's you, insert username, who are to blame for our short comings.

We would be on Mars by now if the world was void of people like you.

I am being deadly serious.                                 

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Don't Shave That Hair!!!

I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble ****ting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic ****- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky ****/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering ****/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own **** blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!                         

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Downloading thread and transferring to 24 different shock resistant hard drives, travelling to town via sewer network to avoid being hit by cars, entering high security bank and having an armed guard escort me to an underground vault where a safe with a combination lock harder to crack than the enigma code awaits with a velvet & diamond encrusted cushion ready for me to deposit said hard drives. In 300 years papers will be delivered via lawyers to my descendants with instructions to open the vault and send via the brilliant technological spacecraft we would have developed by then to Sirius B where our (by then common knowledge) ancient alien ancestors shall teach starchildren your story for the whole of eternity.                                                 

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After the inevitable zombie apocalypse, would a zombie Obama enact legislation forcing those with more brains to give them up to those zombies who have harvested fewer? Or would he simply stagger about, dripping his own entrails onto the White House floor while pursuing slow-footed aides?

Would Zombie Republicans cry foul? Would they say it's unfair for hard working zombies to be penalized and give up their brains to sluggardly welfare-zombies? Or would they too devolve into putrescent, flesh-hungry, ambling sacks of bipedal rot?                 

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I battled a group of hippopotamus with nothing more than a hand carved shank from a saudi arabian oil sheik, jump into a pirahna infested river with two rhinoceros beetles gnawing my testicles, and dive to the depths of the challenger deep with nothing but sarah jessica parkers queef's as my air supply just to sit next to the guy who sat next to her on the bus in high school.                                                 

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I remember doing this for a heavenly blessed beauty whose beauty is as timeless as those of the great pyramids.                

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I'd run a marathon on hot coal covered with AIDS infected needles with Donald Trump's dick cheese covering my nose and piranhas clipped to my balls and hornets in my eyes just to rub my dick on cactus a homeless man planted, who ate half a sandwich you threw away 5 years ago.

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Thanks, I wrote it myself after many revisions. I would totally take you out to Mcdonalds and buy you a happy meal and give you my toy. We can then share a romantic soft cone.

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Some days I'll log into my mod account and neg you into the deepest red you could imagine. Count your blessings to the misc gods that that day is not today. Be careful young man. Your days in the green forest are numbered. I will hunt you.

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Well that is just stupid. If you get to the point in which you acquire the technology to travel back in time, and you really wanted to make a difference, you would go back to when op's mother was still in the early stages of her pregnancy, in which case a falcon punch surely would end op's life in the womb, before it ever came to exist on the outside world, and also in the future, which would be our present, although a happier and overall just better in every sense possible, present.         

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Look, I can't think of how many reasons I like you, but above all the rest is your ability to make me happy no matter what mood I'm in. I can't stand not being around you for more than a few days. I start missing you the second you leave my room. Truthfully, I believe that this is the happiest I've ever been. I understand you recently got out of a messy break up, you were so upset ;/. But (no offense to your ex) I know for a fact I can make you happier than he ever could. When I look at you I think of all the things we can do together. When your not with me, Im thinking about taking you to dinner, or a movie, or just showing up to your house with flowers, Just anything that I think will make you happy. I cant stand seeing you unhappy, If I know you're upset I will try my hardest to make you feel better. I think thats what a good boyfriend would do. Thats why I wanna be yours, to be there for you, to treat you right, and to calm you down when your about to punch your mother, I can't find one imperfection, or flaw in your character. and right now I'm scared of what your gonna say to my next question.                 

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What the **** did you just ****ing say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ****ing words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ****er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ****ing dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ****ing tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot.                                                 

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What did thou say-eth to me wench? I'll have thou know that I twas the greatest knight in my academy. I have been involved in numerous attacks on Jerusalem and have killed many Muslim scum. I am trained in Sapien tactics and I am the greatest longbowsman in all of England. Thou art nothing but and archer's target. I shall slay you with the like thou have never witnessed before. Thou think thy can get away with saying that over carrier pigeon communication? Nay, think once more. As we speak I have my fellow knights following thy pigeon and verily it shall lead to thy location. Be preparedeth for a storm. A righteous storm that shall end thy very life. Thou life is extinguished, I can be anywhere in England in a Fortnights time and can kill you in 500 different ways, and that's just with mine helmet. Not only am I trained in swordmanship, I have the entire King's army at mine disposal and I shall use it to salt you from this earth. If only thou could have known the wrath I shall have brought down upon you for thine "witty"comment. Maybe thou would have bide thy tongue. But alas thou couldn't and must pay the piper. I shall defecate all mine fury unto you and thou will drown in it. Thou art dead, knave.                         

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I've never talked about this before, but I really need the misc's advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.

The usual signs… Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.

My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, “Just some friends from work, you don’t know them.”

I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?

I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her.

Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her.

I decided I was going to park my motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike , that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?         

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negged for life

and even if you get banned, ill make sure i find out what your new account is and neg you for life there

and if you move forum, guess what? ill find out what forum you've moved to, ill build my reputation there, and fukin neg the fuk out of you for life there

your life is fuked, do you understand? your life is actually fuked.                         

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Good evening,

During the course of this year I have done extensive research on the misc. I put forward a paper for review at my university, currently it is under scrutiny. However, I would like to share with you my findings. Please note this is one hundred percent scientific fact. I present the cliffs in no particular order:

1) OP is always a phaggot. Some disagreements arise, but generally it is an accepted truth that the OP is a phaggot.

2) The poster above you, and the poster below you, always lifts more than you. Whether it is bench press or the squat, the majority of miscers will lift more than you.

3) Following on from point (2) above; Miscers generally lift either 50-150lbs more than you lift - OR - lift your weight for at least twice as many repititions.

4) Following from the above it may seem like there exists a paradox, that all miscers are stronger than you are no matter how strong you seem to be. This is not true. Research indicates that in the Misc paradoxical situations do not exist.

5) All Miscers regardless of weight, status, class, race, etc have "smashed" at least 3 'legit' 9/10's. Furthermore, most Miscers are experts on women, which nicely introduces the next point...

6) Miscers believe there is no such thing as a 10/10. This may be true, for beauty is subjective, but the difference in the Misc is that in fact most women are not even 7's. Research data indicates that most women are 6's, and very few women go above this number. This is because...

7) Miscers are all extremely attractive and/or have the best game. Those miscers who admit otherwise cannot legitimately call themselves miscers because they either leave or are never accepted. The method of not being accepted is commonly called the "neg train".

8) Reps/Negs is directly proportional to either:

- Intelligence

- Knowledge on a given topic

- Lifting ability

- Awesomeness.

This is absolutely true. Those with high reputation are always better than you in some way or another. Similarly, those in "the red" are not to be taken seriously and should be shunned.

9) Putting the word "serious" (or "srs") legitimately makes a certain thread or statement an absolute truth or indeed a 'code red' matter than has no element of hilarity or falsehood about it. This "srs" tag over rides all logic.

10) Similarly, "no homo" immediately makes others aware that the poster is not homosexual no matter what the content. Indeed, a real life example would be to engage in homosexual practise with the phrase "no homo" written on ones forehead and walk away with public opinion being that you are not in the slightest homosexual.

11) Genetics are everything. This is especially true for black people.(no racist)

12) Steroids are everything. This is especially true if you're physique is extremely good.

13) Putting "natty" in your thread immediately validates you as a natural bodybuilder. Again, even if tests were to be done, this word over-rides science.

14) Pictures and gifs settle all arguments. They do what no words could ever do, and generally a picture is really worth a thousand words.

15) Anything that is not said within a sentence or two is too long and will not be read. Research suggests that at some point in the future all posts will be a mere 5 letters long.

16) All Miscers have a penis size of at least 8 inches, though this falls on the smaller end of the scale.

17) Repping is a two way street. Getting reps without ever giving is a no no. One should always give back reps to those who repped you. Otherwise, you are stingy and/or a phaggot. However, repping just to be repped back is extremely phaggot behavior. Repping whilst quoting rule 17 is discouraged.

18) The likelihood of new members receiving negative reputation points simply for creating a new thread - however valid or interesting - is very high.

For example, a new member with 0 reputation points and few posts might create an entertaining or highly informative thread that generates several pages of constructive responses. However, if one were to later check the OP's reputation points, one would notice that she/he is now in the deep red.

Based on this phenomenon, we can extrapolate the following axioms:

1) It is highly advisable for new members to not create any new threads until they have firmly established positive reputation.

2) The above may be accomplished by "laying low," so to speak - remaining "under the radar" as it were - by minimizing inflammatory or nonsensical comments and restricting new posts to insightful or comedic observations.

3) None of this applies to threads containing pictures of 3/4's-naked women.

19) Posting that which has already been posted shall immediately place special emphasis on point #1. Further more, miscers are duty bound to call "Repost" and attempt to string together "R..", "E..", etc. until "REPOST" is spelled in consecutive posts. OP is subject to ridicule and negs until the thread is deleted or quietly falls to page five.

20) All new female accounts are to be regarded as fake. All posts by said female accounts are to met with responses such as "Get the **** back in the kitchen", "Who let you out of the kitchen", and "****, you better make me a sandwich". Validity of the new female accounts is not to be recognized by male misc members until said female heeds the commands of the required response "Spoon pic of tits or gfto" by all male miscers. The chance of females members folding to the demands of male miscers to post nudes can be regarded as a scientific constant at 100%, because all females are attention hungry **** shavers. Monetary gain courtesy of misc white knights for posting nudes is not unheard of, see Sam08 for reference material.

21) No matter how much of a good point a new Miscer makes when insulting and/or negging a poster; new Miscer will be outranked by older Miscer and negged. For example please see post #33 and the response in post #35.

22) Every so often some new Miscer gets really keen on the whole "Misc comradery" and starts a thread similar, but not limited to, the following:

- I really like the Misc, thanks guiz

- Let's start a Bro Code 4da Misc please contribute

- Misc I'm so glad I'm here

Some posters take it easy on such miscers; some neg into oblivion for being a "phaggot". Research suggests that (1) [above] plays out and the "neg train" phenomenon occurs.

23) Threads about or related to "The Misc sucks now"/ "Misc used to be so epic"/"Anyone with a join date of XX" are always created to draw attention to a members join date and are, in fact, not about the quality of the misc.

24)AVI Spam: Whenever a user has picture of a beta phaggot (usually assumed troll) Users will copy their profile pic and spam the thread with it. In most cases the pic being spammed will have the users face included too. In most cases you will be scrolling the topic for a long time looking at the same pic over and over. and most likely people will call out the troll in the pic for being a beta phaggot.

25) It is deemed fundamental for any OP to post pictures of any and all females mentioned in the OP. Failure to do so will be met with demands and humorous responses as to why they are unable to see such pics, failure to deliver said pics by the second page will always result in negs and/or thread derailment. Most, if not all, threads with pictures must include the tagline 'pics'.

26) 350, also commonly expressed as "Tree Fiddy" is regarded the infallible amount pertaining to any question that can be answered numerically. For example:

Q: Misc how much do you bench? A: Tree Fiddy

Q: How much does Whey Cost? A: Tree Fiddy

Q: How much would 50cent and an Evergreen weigh together? Tree Fiddy (wait wut? word play phaggot)

27) People who make posts/threads on specific topics and have stats which are laugh worthy, will ALWAYS be posted, no matter what the subject is. Stats in this regard are important. Particularly when the respective Miscer is giving advice on working out and/or negging someone based on something to do with nutrition/bodybuilding/working out/etc. Posting stats is a trump card and wins all arguments; overriding gifs and jpgs. For example:

Miscer: STFU phaggot squats don't do shiit

Miscer #2: Stats 6'2" 160lbs

28) Useful information pertaining to Clive: 18 inch biceps (or "cliveceps") are the universal standard benchmark for all biceps. Speculation exists in some academic circles about the nature of Clive's biceps as to whether or not even Ronnie Coleman himself would admire Clives biceps.

29) Any thread, no matter the content, will reach 4-5 pages if made by a well-known user or troll - Germanic, Zyzz, franchise16, Forge3 for example. In fact, an untested Hypothesis says that a thread created by Zyzz containing just the letter "I" will reach 5 pages within 4 minutes in the Misc. This is sometimes called the Z-Page phenomenon.

30) All Miscers are professional fighters in at least one discipline. UFC, Karate, Boxing are the usual favourites. Similarly, all Miscers are able to beat each other up in a fight. Some Miscers claim to be 8th degree black belt from the shaolin temple of Affliction.

31) Spoons must accompany pictures or authenticity is questionnable.                 

These are just my findings, please feel free to add more.

Thank you for your time.

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Did I ever tell you about the time I saw a turkey? It was a very majestic bird.I attempted to catch it, but it lead me into the Turkey Kingdom where I was captured by the Turkey Republican Guard. I then had a dance off with the King of the Turkey Kingdom to win my freedom.It was an epic battle. In the end, the gobbles were all for me. I left a changed man that day. Freer of any burdens I had taken upon myself.

I was the turkey champion.                                 

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okay u sloot ass bitches yea she is fucking gorgeous but u will never have a chance go play ur dragons and dugoens u no life two timein nerds u r little ass kids that stack my girlfriendaroo u knoe how bad i could hurt both of u at the same dam time and ur daddys bitch lets go when ever where ever and bring ur family cuz its gonna take alot more than two more like a army                                                                                                                                 

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But what I don't get is why people hate on him? Why do they make all these pics and gifs of him?

When did he allow this? Does he laugh at any of them? Does he feel better after looking at them?

I wonder. Does he like the popularity? The publicity? Maybe any publicity is good publicity. Maybe he agrees.

I mean I remember one time he made a thread where he told everybody to make fun of him. Or photoshop him.

Something like that. I don't exactly remember. Anyway... That doesn't really mean that he liked what we did.

The point was that he wanted all of you to just get it out of your system. That's all. Nothing more or less.

It wasn't a green light to go ahead and make fun of him. You got the wrong impression, guys. Really now.

I want to know how so many of you have the nerve to make fun of him for months, just on and on and on.

It's crazy you know? Like how do you guys keep putting up with this? I mean, how does HE do it himself?

When are you guys gonna stop? There has to be an end to this. It's really not fair at all guys, really now.

I think it's pretty much about time that this stuff finishes up already. It's not funny. It's not even original.

I know the misc doesn't like walls of text. I know the misc wants cliffs. I know you guys like black knights.

But c'mon. I'm not defending a ho or anything here. I'm defending a good friend to the misc. Cameljocky.

He's supplied us with laughs, and he took much of it in good heart. But there comes a time when it's enough.

From this day forth, I shall not make fun of Cameljockey no more. Anyone who does just doesn't have a heart.                                 

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I feel so honored to be the first comment. All of my hardwork and dedication has paid off. Getting the top comment has been a dream of mine for many years, and i would like to thank those who have helped me along the way. First and foremost i would like to thank god for giving me this opportunity. Next i would like to thank my parents. I want to thank my cat Belle, for being really fat and always there for me. I would also like to thank my pet tadpole for surviving against all odds for over a week. Next i would like to thank the squirrel that lives in my backyard for climbing trees because that gives me inspiration that i need to get through the day. I also want to think Max Rainer for giving me someone to beat in Mario Party. This is a special moment in my life and i would like to thank any of my unmentioned friends and family that have helped me along the way. This moment will be a moment that i will never forget. I just remembered a few other people i would like to thank; facebook, the fish i caught in the third grade, my light in my room bc i wouldn’t be able to see the keyboard without it, the internet for letting me go on facebook, my house because without it i would be homeless, and last but not least i would like to thank all the people out there that actually took time out of their day to read this. I cannot stress how much of a big deal to me this is. I have been trying to be the first comment on a post for years, but that has not been possible until this amazing day. Hopefully my good luck will continue, but this is undoubtedly a rare occasion. If you asked me how i did this, i would say, you can achieve anything u set your mind on. To all the kids out there reading this, i would like to tell them to follow their dreams. Being the top comment is amazing, thank you everyone                                                                 ___________________

OP must live in a 14th century catacomb. He probably spends most of the day eating spoiled food and poisonous psychedelic mushrooms. At night he cups his hands under his ass and ****s into them. He smears his **** on the catacomb walls and types up bad forum threads with his **** stained fingers. This is the only explanation as to how such a bad thread could have been made.         

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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo                                                

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Fukin slut. You better fukin believe it. I lift with fukin INTENSITY 5 days a fukin week. Count that sh!t with your fukin fingers you dumbkunt. Bitch, listen. I train for fukin AESTHETICS.

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Everyday I have to go to class and sit in boring ass lecture halls. Sitting around 200 kids complaining and bitching about how this 10 a.m. class is too early. I sit there taking it all in, sipping on my protein shake, thinking to myself how they bitch about being tired when 4 hours ago I was at the gym waiting for the doors to open to start leg day. While they were in their cozy little beds I was doing set after set of squats, and as I sit there in class legs killing me, neck sore and bruised from the bar, I'm smiling inside cuz I know I'm a part of something these people will never know. A level of dedication only a small percentage will ever feel. And I'm not saying there aren't others that are dedicated as I am about going to the gym every day but I don't count the bi-tri-chest'ers as dedicated. The ones that take up all the space and benches but then come Friday, Saturday, Sunday, the gym is empty as a college student's wallet. The weekends are the best days. The fat is trimmed away from the meat and only the true hungry Animals show their faces in the gym. We never talk to each other but simple nods get our words across to each other. We're a part of the dedicated that live in the shadows growing wings. The brotherhood built with iron, pain, sweat and blood…                         

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Dearest Misc Mods. This is not a rep beg or anything of the sort. I just implore you to MOD rep me because I feel the 1% of posters have 33% of the overall rep power. By spreading reps around, you can close the rep gap, and give the 99% a fair share. I myself am known for only repping quality posts, so you can be assured that this "trickle down" theory will bear fruit, and help other quality posters benefit.

Thank for your time

Your friend in Christ, TaeBoNinja

P.S., I would also like to add that I have noticed that you MODs are incredibly smart(no rep beg), and I envy your good looks(no homo).                                                                         

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Friends had set me up on a blind date sort of date thingy. Well the chick comes over to my house and I recognize her instantly because I've ha a few classes with her but never really talked. Well we turn out hitting it off immediately and are sitting on the couch laughing and **** like that. We start inching closer and getting a little physical. I'm eating Cheetos with one hand and have my other hand around her. All of a sudden she grabs my Cheetos hand and shoves it down her pants! I still have a Cheeto in my hand but she doesn't notice because her eyes are closed and she's muttering "just work your magic broseidon, I've never been with a man before". I'm a forever alone virgin so I begin rubbing her clit like the misc wanted me to do. She starts moaning and tells me to put a finger inside her. I go full retard and grab the Cheeto that was in my Han and start moving it in and out of her vagina like a dildo. She starts moaning more but completely stops and pulls my hand out of her panties with the Cheeto between my fingers. She screamed "wtf are you doing!?!?" I felt so fukking awkward but I tried to remain alpha so I muttered out "I'm dddaaannnngerously cheesy" she says "wtf is wrong with you?!?" And stormed out. She hasn't tol any of our friends yet and hasn't texted me back. What do?

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lets cut the crap, i've been working out since 2 years, and when i first begen, i did only push ups, and it builded my chest somehow, it grew a little, however if your a NEWBIE, that a little is gonna get you starring at the mirrior everyday, and after 1 year im in the gym, i still do 500 push ups a day, its the best exersice do get you QUICKLY PUMPED, and ripped to shreds, notice, i use push ups still one of the best exersies there is, and for you big Chest guys Push ups is the best exercise, to get your chest riped and shoulders, and back, but you must change work out routine, like put your legs up on the table, or what i do, if you have a 11 year old sister who weigs like 75lbs stand on your back while doing it, its great, but i only can do 20, and thas enough before i fall, and can't get up for some timeHhowever don't do push ups everyday, if your muscles are sore they need rest, for example, if i go to gym and work out my chest, once x week, i don't do push ups the next day, if you worked any other muscle group, go aheadand do push ups everyday, if you DON'T FEEL SORE!, most of the time i do push ups, for conditioning,unless its a chest day work out, i included in my routine, the last thing before i leave the gym, but agian, if you fell sore don't do push ups! you can do em forever if you don't feel sore, it willnot give you a big chest, but Strengh and a good quick pump!

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I always hoped that you would stop posting here. That you'd go outside, play a sport, find a girlfriend. I have this fantasy, you see. That one friday night I would be out on the town and stop by this little bar to grab a pint, and I'd see you there with a 5/10. I'd recognize you by the squats and oats. You wouldn't say anything to me, nor I to you, but we'd both know... that you'd moved on. Instead you sit in your damned cave fapping to HNNG threads and crying about feels.

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Also, I'd just like to point out that usually I have more friends online than represented here (41). It's a Saturday morning where I'm from right now, so obviously a lot of people are still hungover from last night. I drink and hang out on the weekends, too, but I can stomach it better since I lift 6 times a week and do cardio 3-6 times a week depending on my goals at the time. I'm in good enough shape to drink as much as I want without suffering any repercussions the next morning (but obviously I record the calories and try to fit them into my daily caloric intake).

I currently have 1268 friends on FaceBook. Could have more, but I deny some friend requests, and there's a few people requesting me right now that I have to review before I accept, so that number could easily go up.

But yeah, just felt like pointing that out incase any of you were wondering why it seems so low. I honestly didn't even notice I included the Chatbox until after I posted this. Lol

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The question is not "Are sloots gon' sloot". Rather, it's "How much are sloots gon' sloot". To establish this, we need to introduce a new value, ¿ <- Which is the greek letter for "Sloot". This will come in handy when asking questions such as "Is my gf gonna suck 15 dinks at the Halloween party tonight?". To answer this, all you need to do is find ¿ in the equation ¿= X+Y*n, where X is the number of jaeger shots your little vixen has downed, Y is the amount of dinks at the party in integers, and n is the "*** factor".

Say for example that there are 25 dinks, your gf has had 7 jaeger shots, and there are 2 Jamals walkin' around. This gives us

25+7*2= 39

In any case where ¿>10, your gf is going to suck at least 1 other dink that night with a 95% statistical probablility.                                                 

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No one said anything about casual sex. I take this quite seriously obviously. And while i leave the possibility open for something more down the road, there's no reason to deny primal urges early on simply due to societal convention pushed upon you by cisgendered, anti-feminist patriarchal hegemony. Give me your number and i'm sure we can work out something amicable to both of us.