Emotional Resilience In Leadership Report

WITH COMMENTS | PRINT OPTIMISED

Jonny Miller (Curious Humans) & Jan Chipchase (Studio D)

Executive Summary

This interactive report shares a summary of the Emotional Resilience in Leadership survey. Completed by 261 respondents from 43 countries with 26 follow-up phone interviews, the survey ran from November 2019 to May 1st. We invite comments directly in this document.

It’s primarily written for the survey respondents and anyone dealing with burn-out and resilience issues either in themselves, family members and employees. If you’re only interested in how to address burn-out, skip to section seven.

The report is accompanied by:

• A separate PDF for richer frameworks and presentation (LINK)
• A wiki for sharing resources (LINK)
• A mailing list for updates on future research (LINK)
• A therapeutic single question Leader Confessional survey (LINK)

Report highlights include:

• The Shadow Stressor framework to identify and mitigate stressors, which are the causes of burnout.
• The Resilience & Emotional Debt (RED) framework, to understand how the likelihood of burnout builds over time, and how we post-hoc rationalise the burnout experience.
• The cost of burnout on relationships, health and finances, including the bottom line.
• The four main barriers to resilience: perceived vulnerability, insufficient support structures, lack of emotional and physical awareness, and workaholism.
• The impact of COVID-19, that includes exposure to significantly more stressors and making burnout harder to identify in leaders and teams.
• Strategies to develop resilience in the short-, medium- and long-term.
• Tools, resources and training.
• Next steps, including v2 of the survey.

Table of Contents

Note: We suggest turning on View > “Show document outline”

Executive Summary        1

Table of Contents        2

Introduction        5

Motivation        5

Survey        6

Useful Terms        8

Goals & Call to Action        9

1. Frameworks        10

2. Causes of Stress        23

3. Costs of Burnout        27

4. Barriers to Resilience        37

5. Leadership Confessional        41

6. The Impact of COVID-19        43

7. Strategies for Resilience        50

8. Reflecting Forward        57

Appendices        60

About the Authors        60

Acknowledgements        60

Full Glossary        60

References        63

Introduction

Motivation 

This research was born out of the authors’ frustration—of experiencing the impact of burnout on our peers, friends, family and ourselves. At a high level, burnout is defined as mental and physical exhaustion resulting from chronic stress. Having met in October 2019 at a Studio D training event in Japan, we lamented a lack of meaningful and accessible data, insights and tools by which to become more resilient.

Our long conversations opened up many unanswered questions:

• What are the common triggers that lead to burnout in leaders?
• How prevalent is burnout in our community?
• What are the hidden costs of burnout—on individuals, teams and organisations?
• Are leaders under-investing in their wellbeing?
• What are the barriers to creating a culture that supports resilient leaders?
• How can leaders thrive amidst increasingly uncertain times?
• Selfishly, how can we become more resilient and lead a well-balanced life?

We agreed to collaborate and invest in figuring out the answers. The v1 of the Emotional Resilience in Leadership Survey was launched in November 2019 to our (predominantly US/UK tech, design, research, start-up) communities, and by March 2020, as COVID-19 began to kick in, the research took on a new urgency, reflecting the new challenges and uncertainties. We expected ~fifty responses but were surprised to receive five times that.

With a few isolated exceptions, the conversation around mental health within the communities within which we operate remains a taboo subject, with significant stigma and shame attached to the issue. Acknowledging these conversations requires a vulnerability which can be perceived as weakness. For example, tech accelerator programs invite experts to share tactics for how to raise capital or execute marketing strategies and big tech employers will allocate budget for training in agile development—but the ‘soft’ human skills to improve emotional literacy and support structures are rarely taken seriously. We believe this is unlikely to change until the extent of the emotional, physical and financial costs are better understood.

Survey

Our first step was to poll our respective communities with the Emotional Resilience in Leadership Survey. This was supported by a literature review, a follow-up COVID-19 survey with 28 respondents, 26 follow-up phone interviews with survey respondents, and 14 expert interviews with nervous systems specialists, executive coaches and practitioners working in the leadership resilience and emotional wellbeing space.

Incentives to take part include: sharing, being heard, contributing to and better understanding the community. All respondents receive a copy of this research.

We commend the high-degree of self-awareness and courageous vulnerability with which responses were shared.

The questions in the v1 survey were deliberately open-ended—to understand the range of issues relating to burnout and resilience. This required a full manual review of all responses to tease out new categorisations and makes direct comparison between respondents difficult. Future studies will explore the prevalence of burnout, and we plan to run a v2 survey that supports easier comparison, personal and organisational assessment.

There is a lot of existing research out there, though none that we found answered our original questions. Where we’ve built on existing concepts, we’ve cited the original authors. A comprehensive reading list can be found in the appendices.

We’ve made every effort to be accurate in our reporting–though doubtless we’ve got room to improve, and we value your feedback.

802 people started the survey, 261 completed it, and the completion rate was 32%.

The average completion time was 73 minutes.

Reflecting our respective community reach, the responses were disproportionately US/UK tech and start-up centric. Responses came from 43 countries, including the USA (99), UK (40), Canada (13), Germany (11), Australia (5) and India (5). Top cities: London (27), NYC (14), San Francisco (12), Toronto (9), Chicago (7) and Los Angeles (7).

Respondent roles were: Leader, director or similar (28%), Founder, self-funded (24%), Leader, other (21%), Leader, C-suite (15%), Founder, VC backed (5%).

Male 63% / female 37%

One obvious oversight is that a question on respondent age was removed from the survey prior to hitting publish, meaning that we can’t correlate age with stressors and outcomes. The geographic reach of the survey made nuanced questions on ethnicity and ethnic discrimination challenging. We acknowledge both are interesting to systematically explore in future research. We acknowledge the limitations of this v1 survey, which provides plenty of scope to improve on in v2.

Ten  Useful Terms

The following ten terms are useful to understand before you read this report.

burnout. A syndrome of mental and physical exhaustion resulting from chronic stress. The three dimensions characterising burnout are feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, increased cynicism or psychological distance from one’s work and reduced professional efficacy (WHO, 2020). The accumulation of unaddressed emotional debt increases the likelihood of burnout.

emotional debt. The accumulation of unprocessed stressors by an individual, often held as micro-trauma or tension in the body. Leaders have a tendency to ‘over-function’ and build up some emotional debt during stressful periods—which can be extremely helpful in the short term as it allows us to get through the moment, but if left unaddressed, these accumulate, increase fragility and manifest as greater susceptibility to emotional triggers—symptoms that lead to burnout.

equanimity. The capacity to deal with stressors whilst maintaining calm and composed, without numbing or avoiding the feelings associated with them.

parasympathetic response. Sometimes referred to as the ‘rest and digest’ response, this is the state of being for conserving energy, slowing down our heart rate and recovering. This response can be activated within two minutes of conscious breathing, where the exhale is twice as long as the inhale.

resilience. The capacity to thrive while taking on stressors. Our definition can also be thought of as 'anti-fragility' or ‘post-traumatic growth’ —where the individual or system emerges stronger following a stressor. This should not be confused with ‘robustness’ which may be thought of as the capacity to take more punishment in a work context.

shadow stressor. Stressors which are either internal or ambient, that typically fades into the background to the point of going unnoticed. To become more resilient we need to inquire into and audit these subtle sources of stress, such that they can either be resolved or self-regulated.

somatic awareness. Refers to the process of learning to experience emotions as felt sensations in the body as opposed to purely as narrative (Payne, Peter et al, 2015).

stressor. An event that creates a sympathetic response in the human nervous system. For the purposes of this research, we’re mostly interested in four categories of stressor: internal, external, ambient and specific.

sympathetic response. also referred to as the ‘fight or flight’ response—this is the state our body enters in response to stressors, stimulating the adrenal glands, triggering the release of adrenaline, noradrenaline and shallow breathing.

zone of tolerance. describes the range of stressors within which a human is able to function, process and integrate information, and respond to the demands of everyday life with relative ease. Outside of this zone leads to hyper-arousal and an unsustainable sympathetic response in the nervous system, which if left unregulated results in stored trauma in the body and emotional debt. Measuring heart rate variability is a helpful proxy measure for one’s zone of tolerance. Adapted from the window of tolerance concept from work of Gillie and Thayer, (2014).

Goals & Call to Action

This report aims to research the phenomena of burnout and resilience, with a focus on people in leadership positions. As part of a multi-year research programme conducted by the authors, we aim to better support resilience in our teams, organisations and ourselves.

We recognise that it is shortsighted to improve resilience to absorb more punishment without also addressing poor habits and lifestyle choices that affect wellbeing. If you’d like to contribute to this research and community here are four ways you can do so:

• Comment on this report: We want to open up the conversation and learn from the community. Please comment in this Google Doc.
• Share summary PDF: The accompanying PDF presentation contains a visual summary of the report findings as well as more hands-on material regarding the frameworks—making it easier to share with colleagues and peers.
• Contribute to the resilience wiki: We have created a Notion wiki to crowdsource helpful resources, tools, podcasts and further reading materials. Contribute here.
• Signup for the mailing list: To stay in touch with the Emotional Resilience reports, resources and training please leave your email here.

Research Schedule

1. Frameworks

The following two frameworks are a useful way of thinking about the impact of stressors, managing stress, and what causes burnout.

1.1 Shadow Stressor Framework

NB. this framework is outlined with greater detail in the accompanying slides

1.1.1 Meet Samantha

As will become apparent, the Shadow Stressor framework is a useful way to think about stressor identification and mitigation. To explain this, consider our archetype, Samantha. 

1.1.2 The Four Types of Stressor

Humans experience four types of stressor:

• Ambient stressor Present in the background of our lives that are conducive to learning our nervous system in a persistent low-level sympathetic stress response, for example, working in an office with flickering neon light.
• Specific stressor An event that we can point to that generates a sympathetic stress response. For example, unexpectedly losing a large client and realising the company will need to make layoffs.
• External stressor Events occurring in the outside world which trigger a sympathetic stress response.
• Internal stressor, Stress caused by an internal narrative or belief that generates a sympathetic stress response.

Below are examples of each for Samantha:

The human nervous system only differentiates the intensity of the stressor, rather than its origin. All four create the same physical sympathetic response—a combination of accelerated heart rate; widened bronchial passages; decreasing motility (movement) of the large intestine; constricting blood vessels; increasing peristalsis in the oesophagus; pupillary dilation, piloerection (goosebumps) and perspiration (sweating); and raised blood pressure.

1.1.3 What We Associate with Burnout

We often associate burnout with specific external stressors, because they are most obvious:

1.1.4 The Shadow Stressors

Whilst the three shadow stressors are less noticeable by being ambient and/or internal, the stress accumulates, increasing the risk of burnout.

1.1.5 How Stressors Evolve

It is possible for a single stressful event to have a ripple effect over time, as shown in the diagram below.

For example, Samantha has a loud argument with a colleague about a new product launch that results in her storming out of the room. On that day, the conflict itself causes significant stress to her system.

Even after two days Samantha’s conflict remains unresolved, and she internalises the argument by creating a narrative to explain his behaviour. “He lacks attention to detail and just doesn’t appreciate my role in guiding the company”.

After two weeks the conflict has been internalised, and reinforced with subtle behaviours such as passive aggressive actions, avoiding communication.

Finally, this passive aggressive behaviour is externalised the passive aggression is noticed and Samantha’s colleagues are forced to take sides, leading to increased levels of tension in the workplace.

The ripples of stressors can spread in any direction.

1.2 Resilience & Emotional Debt (RED) Framework

The RED Framework explores the relationship between the nervous system regulation and emotional debt accumulation.

NB. This framework is shown in greater detail in the accompanying slides.

1.2.1 Meet Gautam

To help explain the next slides we’ll introduce an archetype, Gautam. We’ll use the RED Framework to explore the relationship between Gautam’s nervous system regulation and his emotional debt accumulation.

1.2.3 Introducing the Three Zones

At any one time, Gautam spends time in one of three zones.

Gautam spends time in the zone of relaxation when he engages in parasympathetic activities. Also known as the rest and digest state.

The default zone of tolerance doesn’t require any particular attention. We can exist in this neutral state in perpetuity, but counter-intuitively doing so does not serve us in the long term. In fact absence of positive stressors — known as ‘eustress’ — stunts growth. For example, athletes create deliberate and intense stress to increase their performance.

The zone of intensity, when his nervous system is generating a sympathetic response, is also known as fight or flight. In the short term, being in this zone can improve his performance and lead to a state of flow, however if he stays here too long, or if the stressors are too intense, he risks exhaustion.

1.2.4 Healthy & Resilient, Experiencing Conflict

When Gautam is healthy and resilient—he knows how to find the edge of his zone of tolerance and stay there for a short period of time (no more than a few hours) to induce a flow state. Following intense physical or cognitive output, he will quickly oscillate back into a high-tone parasympathetic state, i.e. the zone of relaxation—for an equal period of rest and recovery.

Today at work he had a big disagreement with the CEO. Although he couldn’t fully express his frustration in the context of the meeting, afterwards he went for a walk outside in the park with a trusted friend, where his nervous system relaxed and he felt safe enough to feel into the strong emotions and express his frustration.

Later that evening at home, he is present for his partner, turns off phone notifications, and is then able to wind down before bed by catching up on his favourite TV series before another restful eight hours of sleep.

1.2.5 Introducing Emotional Debt

Here we introduce the concept of emotional debt—the accumulation of unprocessed stressors by an individual, often held as micro-trauma or tension in the body (Widrich, 2019). Short term emotional debt is common, for example during his personal conflict with a colleague or an important presentation to investors.

It is helpful for Gautam to have capacity to build up some emotional debt during stressful periods—this can be helpful in the short term as it allows him to get through the moment. However, if left unaddressed over weeks or months, this debt will increase his fragility and lead to greater susceptibility to emotional triggers, lethargy or adrenal fatigue.

1.2.6 Ambient Stressors Compound Emotional Debt Over Time

Ambient and internal stressors are difficult to spot because they tend to be omnipresent. Whilst individually they may only have a minor impact, the ‘gravitational pull’ effect of these shadow stressors mean that Gautam finds rejuvenation difficult. This accumulation of unprocessed stressors is held as tension in the body and stored as emotional debt.

1.2.7 Carrying Emotional Debt Over Four Weeks

Work has become challenging and Gautam is taking on more stressors. At night he needs a bit more wine (~three glasses) to relax. While he sleeps an average of 7 hours per night, he often wakes up with a low level hangover. It takes two espresso shots to get going. His relationship with his wife starts to fray, and he slips out of the house early to avoid a confrontation. Over the three months the zones start to shift.

The building frustration he feels is mostly kept under the surface, but sometimes bubbles over and he finds himself arguing over trivial things. At work, his team senses he is on edge but the anxiety is mostly hidden and never discussed. His work used to excite him and he would take time out to mentor younger team members, but now he feels dreary and does the bare minimum to scrape by. At the end of the day, he finds it harder to be present so distracts himself with Netflix and uses alcohol to ‘calm down’ sufficiently to fall asleep. There is no end in sight.

1.2.8 Fragility, The Impact of Unresolved Emotional Debt

Over a period of three months, during which his work is intensive, Gautam’s zones shift, with the zone of intensity becoming larger, and the Zones Of Tolerance and Relaxation, smaller. Essentially, the habits that he uses to relax become less effective.

Carrying the emotional debt leads to: stronger downward spikes from stressors, being stuck in the zone of intensity for longer, and finding it more difficult to relax. When it is time to sleep he is still in the zone of intensity, and starts to suffer early onset insomnia. He wakes up tired the next day, the cycle repeats.

1.2.9 The Onset of Burnout

After 3 months of living with accumulated emotional debt, and just getting by at work, things come to a head at a product launch meeting. The launch went very poorly, and an innocuous negative comment triggers tears. When emotional debt reaches a peak Gautam's is experiencing chronic adrenal fatigue, his nervous system will engage in the 'freeze response' (dorsal vagal shutdown). He has pushed too hard for too long and his body shuts down. In this state he cannot meaningfully function. His emotional breakdown is a reflection of his mental and emotional exhaustion—burnout.

1.2.10 Acknowledging Burnout

Taking immediate forced sick leave, over the next days he reflects on his role and responsibilities and comprehends that the past month’s drinking compounded poor sleep, unresolved home relationship issues with wife, and lack of time with his children (specific and ambient external stressors) have worn him out.

Over the next weeks Gautam broadens his thinking and acknowledges that his work and lifestyle is unsustainable and requires a change.

Through self inquiry Gautam realises that under the circumstances he did the best he could, but that if he wants to become more emotionally resilient he will need to invest in and devote the same level of care he used to his work. He seeks support from family, friends, and his professional network.

1.2.11 In Burnout

Someone who is experiencing burnout (or is in a highly fragile state) is more likely to oscillate between the extremes outside of their window of tolerance. These are described as hyper-active (looks like anxiety or frustration) and hypo-active (presents as lethargy or low key depression).

The moment of burnout often occurs when the nervous system is overwhelmed in a sustained hyper-active state, experiences adrenal fatigue and eventually shuts down, represented below as the fall into the deep blue zone.

≠œ

1.2.12 The Road to Recovery

Self-care practices are important for short-term recovery but insufficient if not paired with some form of enquiry or ‘emotional labour’—to bring awareness to and process the sources of the underlying internal stressors.

He speaks with other leaders who had been through burnout before—they each shared that their recovery process was unique and personal to them, but offered some suggestions to experiment with which he compiled and gradually mustered up the energy to engage.

Determined to fully recover, he negotiates unpaid 3-month sabbatical and begins exploring various modalities for addressing his burn-out and accumulated emotional debt. Initially for Gautam this includes: attention to sleep, adjusting his diet, stopping drinking, spending more time with his children, and taking on more responsibility in the home, meditation, and starting to journal again.

As his vitality returns he begins to work his way through the accumulated emotional debt using guided breathwork journeys and with assistance from a therapist trained in somatic experiencing.

These sessions allow Gautam to climb down the ‘ladder of nervous system resolution’—re-experiencing the challenging moments that led into burnout—but in a safe environment so that he stays within his zone of tolerance and the debt will relieve itself (Widrich, 2017). This emotional debt relief can happen in a few short sessions... but most people recovering from burnout don't seek this kind of help so it usually takes far longer. Before long, the extreme oscillations have calmed down and his nervous system is operating more efficiently.

1.2.13 Returning with Greater Resilience - His Weekly Schedule

Gautam returns from his sabbatical with a larger zone of tolerance and an extended toolkit of practices—both for regulating his nervous system during inevitable stressful moments and to periodically release any emotional debt stored during the work week. His therapy sessions have helped raise his self confidence, and his increased empathy towards colleagues makes him a better leader.

Finally, it’s worth noting that if Gautam doesn’t flex his nervous system and occasionally go outside his window of tolerance, then it will reduce over time like a muscle. The overall goal is to have smooth fluctuations that occasionally stretch his capacity but mostly fall within the window of tolerance on both sides.

1.2.14 Emotional Debt in Teams

We all carry emotional debt to some degree and all have different levels of resilience. Emotional contagion occurs when the moods and feelings from one person are passed to others. Because of their role, leaders are particularly emotionally contagious, impacting their team and the organisation. For example, a calm manager can spread calmness throughout the team, whereas a highly anxious manager can lead to high blood pressure in the team (Barsade, 2018).

2. Causes of Stress

We identified six causes of stress that lead to burnout. These have been listed by the frequency by which they were cited in the survey. The majority of our respondents dealt with a combination of these at the same time, including some that were known and not addressed, and others that only became apparent in hindsight.

2.1 Overwhelming Exogenous Shocks, Compounded by Workload

Workload was the most common path to burnout compounding emotional debt built up over weeks, months and occasionally years.

“There were probably several key moments, but the "breaking point" I remember is getting off a call with my client at the time during an extremely stressful project phase. My brain went completely blank like it was frozen or something, and then tears just streamed down my face. I wasn't able to make any decisions or have a conversation, and I had to just go home and try to rest.” —Male leader, Bay Area, USA.

This “death by a thousand paper-cuts” as one male VC-backed founder from Amsterdam described it, tended to precede a final straw incident which broke the proverbial camel’s back. He then experienced “1-2 years of burnout”, during which time he was treated for depression and anxiety, prescribed medications for panic attacks and developed an auto-immune disorder.

A leader working at a major internet advertising company shared the times when burnout was most likely to hit when he was feeling stressors both at home and work and there were no other outlets to relax and down-regulate.

Leaders are frequently forced to make trade-offs between short-term efficiency and long term resilience. Still, they often lack the reserves or time to recover from doing so without being pushed outside their window of tolerance.

However, long term resilience requires operating away from the edge of operational capacity for long durations.

2.2 Feelings of Isolation and Lack of Psychological Safety

Leaders often feel that they need to face challenges alone, because of an inadequate support structure and a lack of psychological safety due to an insufficient culture of respect, trust, and openness (Edmondson, 2018).

Leaders are implicitly conditioned, within the prevailing startup cultures (that is heavily influenced by Silicon Valley norms) to believe they should be capable of handling all challenges without needing help.

“You are constantly living with stress, be it visible or not—and if you're a "good founder," you hide it well.” —VC-backed founder, male, Amsterdam, Netherlands

“The root cause of my burnout was a combination of an inadequately staffed team and a lack of psychological safety.” —Leader, female, Washington DC, USA

The challenge of psychological safety also extends to leaders who are on the investment side of the table. “There is much discussion of psychological safety in the workplace, and this is equally true in the context of partners and investors.” —Founder, female, Melbourne, Australia.

Several respondents noted the weight of responsibility experienced and not feeling fully seen by their peers:

“I've felt like I bear the responsibility for both my well being as well as that of my team members. I've felt that neither my bosses nor my reports understand the position I'm in.” —C-suite leader, female, San Francisco, USA

Others shared that being in a constant state of fire-fighting without space to slow down inhibiting their ability to function as a team:

“Too many channels and not enough emotional or intellectual support - everyone is too busy, there's no time to slow down, educate, prepare enough, feel prepared, help each other and develop empathy. Everyone is running on flight or fight, so tempers are short. We're all just surviving. In that mode, people tend to focus on defending and protecting themselves, so teamwork falls apart.” —Leader, female, Sydney, Australia

2.3 Unsupportive Workplace Culture

Leaders reported working in environments where it was challenging to take time for themselves and invest in their wellbeing.

The very stewards of the company culture and arguably those most in a position to make changes feel disempowered to go against a prevailing workaholic culture. This comes from a fear of being perceived as weak or ‘taking a reputational hit for expressing vulnerability’ as one San Francisco-based female leader expressed in a follow-up conversation.

This theme was emphasised repeatedly with comments of ‘needing to take time off and being unable to’ —C-suite leader, Female, Toronto, Canada

“Once you step back and try to manage things, the world seems to punish you for taking care of yourself.” —Leader, female, NYC, USA

We documented numerous, often despondent, examples of lack of support. Taking one example of lack of empathy:

‘I was working 80 hours a week to cover for a teammate and told him that I needed to go on a business trip—instead of taking vacation days to go to be with my dying grandfather. He died during the trip.” —Leader, female, New York City, USA

One leader speculated that ‘being granted permission was essential to [my] resilience’, admitting that while he intuitively knew many of the practices and rituals that would support his mental, physical and emotional health—what he lacked was explicit permission both from the stakeholders of his time and implicit permission from himself to commit to these ‘resilience hygiene’ rituals.

2.4 Existential Crises and Lack of Purpose

For some respondents, there was an existential realisation that the work that consumed so much time, effort and sacrifice was not worth it. In the words of a founder after five years of building his business, “Is this it?” —Founder, male, Toronto, Canada

Burnout has also been described as a state of being out of sync with one or more aspects of your life. When we feel that our work has little purpose, or doesn’t meet our needs and desires in the way that we had imagined it would, this realisation can be devastating. Facing the reality of years dedicated to relentlessly climbing a ladder—only to find it placed against the wrong wall.

“Since day one, I’ve always questioned my motivations for why I’m building this thing. I’ve always had that little thing in the back of mind questioning who I am doing this for - what am I trying to prove and to who.” —Founder, male, London, UK

However, for some leaders, this painful realisation that they have been living a life of ‘quiet desperation’ to paraphrase Thoreau may be a spur for fruitful introspection and lead to positive changes in behaviour that are more value-aligned (Thoreau, 2011). It is by no means an easy process pulling yourself out of the existential void—especially if that comes with a lack of support and associated mental health challenges:

“When I'm burnt-out I tend to fall into an existential and depressive funk. You have to get out of that before you can make intentional decisions to move forward in a better way.” – C-suite leader, male, Toronto, Canada

2.5 Over-invested Identity

Leaders that attach their self-worth to the outcomes of their team or business will struggle to maintain sufficient psychological distance and equanimity in times of inevitable challenge or uncertainty.

This is especially true of founders whose identity is used to position the start-up, for example, through the founder-origin story and who therefore feel their business to be an extension of their personality. Their emotional state can correlate to that of the company: experiencing deep depression or anxiety during set-backs or periods of slow growth.

One male founder from Salt Lake City told us that one of his burnout triggers was ‘seeing a competitor’s success’ or comparing himself to ‘the success of other founders’.

“Ignoring my emotional well-being, overworking, putting my business before my health and most importantly doing these because I had connected my 'self-worth' to my business's success.” —Founder, female, London, UK

2.6 Gender-, Racial- and Age-based Discrimination

Female and BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color) leaders who mentioned how they had experienced their gender or ethnicity led to feelings of isolation and discrimination—which have a compounding effect on their existing stressors as a leader. 

One female leader from New York City told us that she has ‘felt lonely, particularly as a woman’ and that she is ‘often the only female in a meeting of seniors with sometimes as many as twenty in the room’.

We posit that gender-based and racial discrimination can produce a range of specific and ambient stressors. Furthermore, an inherent lack of diversity in leadership creates additional ambient stressors, which serve to amplify the existing challenges present to those leading and running teams in high-stress environments.

“I've felt isolated. Tech is a place where women, people of colour and anyone over the age of 30 are subject to discrimination, despite being stellar or at least on par with men. I am a member of all three of those groups, and this gives me both visibility and puts a target on my back.” —Leader, female, Nomadic

—

Discussion

Note: You will encounter open questions such as the following after each chapter. Please add your perspective and resources by using the comment feature in this report or by adding to the wiki.

Q. Where do you think permission needs to be requested and granted? By whom?

Q. How to best incentivise emotional resilience-building practices without being patronising?

Q: Is it more useful to focus on the performance-enhancing aspects of resilience-building practices vs decreasing the likelihood of burnout?

Q. How can the vicious cycle of comparing ourselves to others successes and the unrealistic expectations it creates be interrupted? Where does this begin?

3. Costs of Burnout

Respondent costs fall into three categories:

• Cost on relationships
• Physical, emotional & health-related costs
• Financial & bottom line costs

3.1 Cost on Relationships

The most cited cost of burnout was regret for the impact it had upon intimate and familial relationships.

One VC-backed founder from Washington put it bluntly: “Basically ... relationships that aren't connected to work [didn’t] survive.”

3.1.1 Cost to Team and Workplace Culture

Carrying emotional debt makes leaders more prone to volatile outbursts and venting to employees. One leader left his therapist’s office nine-years after his burnout experience where he:

“...ran into someone who reported to me - and I tormented - during the hyper-growth phase of a startup in the early ’00s. At that time, that person was clearly not over that experience - a decade later. We've met a few times since then. He's still processing that. I built that culture, I am responsible for the outcome for that person, and I have to live with what that way of working did to him and more than 1,000 other people. No way to atone for it - just have to own it.”

3.1.2 Cost to Intimate Relationships with Spouse/Partner

When a person experiences high degrees of stress at work, without healthy outlets for emotional regulation, a common strategy is to either vent on those closest to us or withdraw entirely.

One founder candidly shared how the startup grind pushed him further away from his desire to step into fatherhood:

“I feel like I am shaming myself into continuing… all I can think about is [my startup] pushing me further away from not only my own family but also the opportunity to create a family. All I want in the world is to be a dad - and hell I’m not even close to meeting someone, and I don’t think this path is conducive to pursuing that.” —Founder, male, London, UK

A London-based founder shared that he began to drink heavily during his burnout period and ‘pulled away from [his] fiance’.

3.1.3 Negative Impact on Children

The impact of being away from home, and distracted and frustrated while at home hits children hard, given that they lack the emotional understanding and the broader context

One founder from Cape Town shared that he felt his kids were ‘traumatised by their absent-minded dad’ and that how during this burnout period he over-indulged in alcohol leading to: ‘...more fights with [his] spouse’ and ‘stricter discipline towards [his] child, even when not necessary’.

3.1.4 Loss of Friendships, Meaningful Connections and Support Structure

Being embedded within a community with meaningful ongoing relationships and social support reduces burnout risk factors (Maslach, 2016). Unfortunately, these are often the first to be dropped when stress and emotional accumulate, leading to a vicious cycle—since these close friendships are needed the most in the tough times.

“Relationships are the big one. I didn't invest in friendships as much as I could or should have. And certainly the quality of life… and that time spent burned out is time I'm never getting back.” —Founder, male, London, UK

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Discussion

Q. What are the early signs of diminishing friendships and a distanced support circle?

Q. Who is first to see the signs of burnout, before it becomes self-evident?

Q. Can the damage to intimate relationships be repaired with time? Is this more difficult to recover from in the long run than physical and health costs?

3.2 Physical, Emotional & Health-related Costs of Burnout

Leaders can operate under such high-stress levels that it requires some form of a severe health crisis for many to admit to themselves that they are actually in a state of burnout.

We identified six categories of emotional, physical and health-related costs of burnout, ranked in the frequency they were cited.

3.2.1 Mental Health Challenges: Anxiety & Depression

Leaders’ brush with burnout was a direct catalyst for longer-term mental health challenges. For instance, one Boston-based male founder told us that:

“[Burnout] was the onset of my continuing depression; it also affected my ability to make and keep relationships, personal, romantic and professional. I thought I was broken in some way.”

Another VC-backed founder based in San Francisco interviewed by phone reflected on a period of having suicidal thoughts during the aftermath of his start-up’s failure:

“I definitely went into this dark period—I was just so viscerally depressed and you know, staring at the train tracks. Somebody jumps in front of the San Francisco Caltrain at least once a month. I was on the train for three months in a row when this happened. The train stops, and you’re stuck for an extra thirty minutes to an hour. One time, after the train started to pull away, I was looking out the window and saw the aftermath, the body bag…only a few yards from the Palo Alto Caltrain station. I started to wonder who these people were. I wondered if I would be one of those people in a few months if I didn’t get my life figured out.”

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Discussion

Q: What are the signs that someone is heading for a major breakdown?

3.2.2 Depleted Confidence & Increased Self-Doubt

Low self-esteem is an internal, ambient stressor that is perpetuated and amplified by external stressors, creating a vicious cycle. Galankis (2016) suggests in the workplace, performance-based self-esteem is the strongest predictor of burnout over time.

“I became consumed. I still am really. It has been difficult to separate my emotion from work. I stopped running. I dealt with a resurgence in my anxiety and depression. Self-blame. Self-doubt. Self-loathing... all of it.” —Founder, Female, Los Angeles

“Loss of sleep, loss of confidence, eventually loss of physical health. The ongoing impact is questioning of self-worth.” —Leader, female, Wellington, New Zealand

This loss of confidence can also be internalised, one female leader from Hertfordshire, UK who was also suffering from sleepless nights, anxiety and panic attacks told us that she: “lost confidence, but more importantly I became someone I didn’t like.”

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Discussion

Q. What is the connection between self-confidence and stress?

Q. What are the ways to rebuild self-confidence, independent of work?

Q. What are some practices for establishing emotional equanimity such that our confidence isn’t derailed with setbacks that are out of our control?

3.2.3 Negatively Impacted Sleep & Physical Health

Some survey responses read as warning labels guarding against the dangerous side-effects of taking leadership roles in toxic work environments:

“Gained 60 lbs. Lost hair. Lost sleep. Avoided fulfilling relationships. Became someone else.” —Founder, Male, Chicago, USA

Many responses communicated the genuine hardship that many of these leaders have suffered through due to work-induced exhaustion. For instance, a male VC-backed founder who was living in San Francisco at the time told us he was “Sick with around 14 infections in a single year, essentially having 7-14 days in between rounds of various antibiotics and steroids. I was depressed and angry, with unhealthy coping/drinking/sleeping habits… I had very obvious medical issues, stress, induced disorders, etc. Of course, I noticed them and kept going...stupidly.”

Another male leader based in Ulaanbaatar told us that he felt like his health rapidly depreciated and he ‘aged 3 - 5 years in 2019’.

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Discussion

Q. What are the signs that organisational culture is toxic?

Q. Is there a role for wearables and health apps (such as sleep monitors) in detecting early warning signs?

3.2.4 Increased Alcoholism & Unhealthy Lifestyle Choices

Alcohol was the most commonly cited substance to relax (respondents are unlikely to admit to Class A or Schedule I drugs in this survey format). The short term benefits of alcohol, sometimes lead to longer-term issues including generally underperforming, through to addiction.

One Oakland-based leader who was suffering from work-induced mental health challenges told us that he didn’t have the ‘emotional bandwidth to carefully consider how to escape this situation’ so instead ‘often turned to alcohol as a “mini-break” to relieve the stress’.

Another Burlington-based male founder shared that in the lead up to his burnout he had a ‘fairly severe struggle with alcoholism’, adding that most of his warning signs seemed obvious in hindsight: “Looking back, I don't know how I justified letting it go on for as long as it did considering how clearly dysfunctional my life was to anyone looking at it from the outside. The things we tell ourselves.”

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Discussion

Q. How many of the socialising rituals with our colleagues, compound unhealthy lifestyle choices?

Q. What are the common justifications for continuing dysfunctional patterns of behaviour such as overconsumption of alcohol?

3.2.5 Catalyst for Chronic Health Conditions

While intellectually respondents understood that prolonged stress caused health challenges, the duration and degree to which they suffered were striking. For example, one female leader from New York City shared that during her burnout period:

“My sleep worsened due to overworking, and I gained 45 kilos… I was so sleep-deprived. I was falling asleep at my desk.” Later adding that “My feet swelled two sizes. I was emotionally brittle. I developed full-blown type 2 diabetes in under a year — no exaggeration. I was very depressed… it was hard to manage others when I could hardly function… I was honestly a mess.”

One female C-suite leader from Phoenix connected burnout with her ‘continued struggle with fertility’ and another London-based female leader told us that she “suffered from violent chronic migraines for close to 6 months after I closed my business and laid off my staff”.

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Discussion

Q. To what degree does burnout exasperate chronic health conditions?

Q. Where does the pressure to keep working through these health conditions stem from?

Q. To what degree does ascribing meaning and purpose to the source of stress increase capacity to bear it?

3.3 Financial & Bottom Line Cost of Burnout

When we launched this survey, we were aware that financially quantifying the full impact of leadership burnout was going to be challenging. For example, we all have a different sense of financial scale, losing $10,000 to one person can be catastrophic; to another, it can be easily absorbed.

While we agree with the sentiments of one female leader in NYC: ‘I feel like any quantification would severely underestimate the costs’, we’ll make a start based on the data we do have. If we are able to answer this question adequately, the business case for investing in employee wellbeing is that much stronger.

In answer to the question ‘If you could put a US dollar amount to this cost, what would it be?’ the median cost was stated as $100,000.

The responses to costs fell into five categories, ranked according to how often they were cited in the survey.

3.3.1 Significant loss in revenue

Amongst those that experienced burnout, the most common response was the loss in revenue, growth and decreased share price.

A Male C-suite leader at an Indonesian startup told us “It cost us a third of our funding” and another male Toronto-based leader estimated “A balance sheet loss of CAD 3M and $6M loss through turnover, hurt company reputation, and culture change that impacted management of the clients that followed.”

Others quantified in terms of lost growth, for example, one male founder based in Cape Town shared that his burnout ‘cost a year in lost revenue’ and for leaders working in larger organisations such as one male Utah-based leader the hit impacted their stocks: “To be glib - share price from $85 to .85 in a matter of months.”

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Discussion

Q. What would you pay for insurance against burnout in your company?

Q. What is the longer-term ROI of investing in resilience?

3.3.2 Increased Rates of Talent Attrition

Burnout causes leaders to leave the company, unsettling teams to the point mass exodus.

“They lost an entire 10-person team and me. They lost the person who was building and owning relationships.” —Leader, Female, NYC, USA

“Within six months of my departure, 15 members of my team (which was 80 people, globally) left the company. This is a number I'm not proud of, despite the potentially harmful environment.” —C-suite leader, Female, Providence, USA

The cost of burnout also extended to team members. For example, one Chicago-based female leader quantified her burnout experience by sharing that it was ‘The cost of onboarding 5+ senior engineers’ estimating that she thought it was ‘something like 50K per person’.

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Discussion

Q. What is the cost of leadership and other talent acquisition?

Q. What are the second-order effects of losing senior leadership?

Q. What is the impact on morale and company culture of burnout related departures?

3.3.3 Diminished Leadership Capacity

Burnout makes it more challenging to operate effectively as a leader, with an impact on everyone within their team. For example, the co-founder of a well-known startup shared with us that the most significant cost of his burnout period was that ‘the team didn’t get the kind of leader to serve them’.

One London-based VC shared with us that she had noticed an increase in her portfolio founders ‘reaching out to request support for their leadership teams... but they don’t often take the support for themselves… if they don’t take the support and model the behaviour, then their teams aren’t going to prioritise it either.’

"My lack of direction and agency directly led to the failure of my startup. We made mistakes, and those mistakes are my fault. I was the rudder for the business, but I didn't have a personal rudder at the time." —Male, Founder, London, UK

An Indonesian C-suite leader shared that during his burnout period that he ‘hired too impulsively’ and that there were ‘many trial and errors in the hiring process, a lot of un-useful meetings, ineffective operation’.

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Discussion

Q. What are the signs of diminished leadership capacity?

3.3.4 High Opportunity Cost

Some of the most extreme costs cited were in the context of projects that never got off the ground due to burnout.

One female leader working for a Fortune 500 company told us that not only was ‘near irreplaceable talent lost’ but also that ‘initiatives to save our organisation millions stalled.”

Additional opportunity costs directly attributed to burnout that were cited include:

• Lost productivity from the leadership team, one male leader based in Athens shared that ‘half of my time felt wasted, so the ROI is 50% of my salary’. Another shared that: “My personal burnout easily costs the company tens of thousands per year in a lack of productivity.” —C-suite leader, Male, San Diego, USA

• Product launch delays and lost development progress, which led to missed market opportunities:

“We had a long delay to an important product launch that probably cost us £1M in lost revenue and slowed our entry into the market.” —C-suite leader, male, London, UK

“They have lost nearly all of their dedicated staff and all of the change-makers. The lack of assured purpose has made the company lose about two years of new product development progress.” —Leader, Female, Portland, USA

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Discussion

Q. What are the initiatives that don’t get off the ground or fail to achieve traction because of burnout?

Q. Are fixed time ‘process goals’ more sustainable for project-based work than outcome-based KPIs? (Basecamp’s ‘shape-up’ being a practical example).

3.3.5 Startup Failure

In the early days of a startup, the health of the company is tied directly to the health of the founder. Many founders fail to see themselves as their startup’s biggest asset—and bottleneck—and in doing so, underinvest in themselves.

Startup investor and founder of the Y-combinator accelerator program Paul Graham described the Airbnb co-founders as having the staying power of ‘cockroaches’ in their early days and believes that founder resilience is key to long-term startup success (Graham, 2008).

Yet without this resilience, burnout-prone founders risk falling at the first hurdle before their startup even gets a chance to reach scale.

One male founder based in San Diego told us that his startup ‘failed and it felt like a family member dying’. Others echoed this statement and told us that their burnout experience directly led to the failure of their business:

"I had to close my start-up. Perhaps I can resurrect it in the near future." —Male Founder, Sweden

“Honestly, I still think, in the back of my mind, that I could have made something really great and groundbreaking and impactful. If only I hadn't burned out.” —Male Founder, Cambridge, USA

Harvard Business School professor Noam Wasserman studied 10,000 founders for his book ‘The Founder’s Dilemma’, and his research found that 65% of startups fail as a result of co-founder conflict (Wasserman, 2012).

While we don’t yet have the data to back this up—based on the findings above regarding the impact of burnout symptoms and accumulating emotional debt on intimate relationships—we hypothesise that this would extend to unhealthy conflict between co-founders, potentially putting their startup at risk.

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Discussion

Q. What is a meaningful way to measure changes in a leader’s capacity for resilience? Can this be tied to ROI?

Q. To what extent does accumulated emotional debt increase unproductive conflict between leaders? Would a second-order effect of resilience policies, training or social practices be a reduction in leadership conflict?

Q. Does practising the skill of setting personal boundaries around work and self-care extend to setting boundaries with co-founders and members of the leadership team?

4. Barriers to Resilience

4.1 Perceiving Vulnerability as a Weakness

There are personal, generational and cultural assumptions around what makes a strong or weak leader—for example, a willingness to admit being wrong or acknowledging a need for recovery time.

One Montreal-based male leader told us “...with so much uncertainty we feel the only way to secure a future appears to be to hide weakness”.

In organisational psychology literature, vulnerability is described as ‘exposure to forces outside of one’s control, in addition to openness and susceptibility to being hurt physically or emotionally’ (Lopez, 2018)—in other words, leaders aspiring to cultivate resilience must be willing to express felt uncertainty and to ask for help when they need it.

We also heard from others who believed that this vulnerability was essential for building trust within their teams:

“Leadership is often associated with stoicness, discipline, and calm courage in (mostly male-dominated) narratives. I think what people often don't see (or at least talk about) is that leadership requires vulnerability and authenticity for people to actually trust you. And people can see right through you if you are lying to yourself, even if you don't know it.” —Leader, male, Bay Area, USA

In a follow-up conversation, a male San Francisco based leader shared that it was ‘crucial to work in a culture where no-one suffered a reputational hit for expressing vulnerability’.

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Discussion

Q. Can vulnerability be taught? What lies beneath the fear of being vulnerable in a leadership context?

Q. Where are the edges of healthy transparency and vulnerability boundaries vs oversharing?

Q. In a work culture that shames acts of vulnerability, how might leaders begin to rewrite entrenched narratives and beliefs?

4.2 Insufficient Support Structures

There is a strong desire for greater support, mentorship and coaching for leaders who are keenly aware of the ways in which they have room to increase their capacity for resilience and grow their leadership potential.

One female London-based C-suite leader expressed that she wished for more access to ‘external mentors or sounding boards’ who would be able to help ‘impart professional advice and give a broader context and perspective’.

Another British male leader offered the analogy of professional sports athletes versus cognitive athletes—professionals in the elite sporting world are equipped with a pantheon of coaches to support their recovery and performance. Yet cognitive athletes and leaders in the world of business are for the most part expected to manage on their own (executive coaching is an established domain, but not widespread).

Board members can provide a supporting role, however, they also have short term financial incentives which may not always align fully with the leader’s best long term interests, so there is a need for neutral outside support. It may also be challenging for them to encourage coaching without triggering anxiety in the leader (Batista, 2019).

Some forward-thinking investors are spearheading funds that actively invest in not only the company but the resilience and wellbeing of their founders, for example Connected Ventures, Lionheart Ventures and Earnest Capital.

Resilience is core to the investment thesis of David Langer, managing partner at Lionheart Ventures:

“Lionheart Ventures invests in startups that make humanity more resilient, and this is only possible with resilient founders. Through my own ups and downs spending 10+ years as a founder/CEO, I know first-hand how important it is to build mental and emotional resilience. As a VC, I've now built a network of dozens of the world's leading coaches along with some other resources to support our portfolio founders in becoming as resilient as possible.”

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Discussion

Q. Which areas of emotional resilience support generate the highest ROI?

Q: What are the respective roles for coaches, mentors and therapists?

Q. Are new models of venture funding such as SEAL that are proactively supportive to founder wellbeing viable alternatives to the prevalent funding models?

4.3 Lack of Emotional and Physical Self-awareness

Often in hindsight, there was the realisation that burnout was caused by a lack of self-awareness. Furthermore, burnout is harder to spot in yourself when you are experiencing high emotional debt.

In the worlds of executive coach Jim Dethmer wrote that ‘many leaders can’t tell the difference between being “fully alive” and feeling a mixture of adrenaline, caffeine, sugar, pressure, compulsivity, addiction, and competition, all driven by deeply repressed fear and insecurity’ (Dethmer, 2014)

Like the proverbial frog slowly simmering to death in a pot of boiling water, they often don’t recognise burnout symptoms until it’s too late, or as one NYC founder shared ‘...till someone else pointed it out’.

“During the period/s of overwork and burnout I had little awareness of it” —Leader, female, Barcelona, Spain

Without self-awareness leaders tended to push themselves out of their window of tolerance and overestimate their capacities:

“A lack of self-awareness made me take on more than I could chew.” —Leader, female, Sydney, Australia

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Discussion

Q. Can the degree to which a leader is out of touch with their physical and emotional wellbeing be measured? For example the number of hours of good sleep, and heart rate variability.

Q. How to avoid leaders numbing and distracting, rather than processing emotional debt?

Q. Is there a role for wearables to improve self-awareness, in conjunction with other activities?

4.4 Workaholism, Avoidance and ‘Foolish Grit’

As with checking a bank balance that is severely in the red, it takes courage to address accumulated emotional debt. What leaders fail to realise is that this debt carries a high rate of emotional, physical and financial interest.

Venture capitalist and executive coach Jerry Colonna wrote that “Leaders who persist out of stubbornness, believing themselves to be gritty, are at best delusional and, at worst, reckless… ” (Colonna, 2019)

Yet for many leaders, the default tendencies in response to accumulating emotional debt are to either numb (e.g. alcohol) or distract (e.g. workaholism).

One Burlington-based male founder shared his experiences with ‘foolish grittiness’ and the fears associated with radical honesty: “I was clearly depressed, drinking seven days a week (often starting early in the day while working), I had gained 40lbs, and my relationship with my girlfriend/partner of 12 years was quietly falling apart.”

Yet despite understanding this intellectually, at the time the temptation to numb and distract outweighed the desire to make changes, the same respondent shared:

“I think we avoided talking directly about all of it because admitting it out loud meant we'd have to fix it—which was an emotionally overwhelming thought. And so the cycle of avoidance continued as we both continued to bury ourselves in our work.”

Some venture capitalists were investing in the personal growth and resilience of their portfolio founders. One female London-based VC candidly suggested that the nature of venture capital applies pressure for a ‘growth-at-all-costs’ approach to leadership: “...Venture is all about fast growth and that comes at a price because hyper-growth means founders have to constantly be running faster and faster to hit the milestones that will unlock the next chunk of investment. They often only have 18 months before they need to raise again or the company potentially dies. It’s not an industry designed to build sustainable businesses as lack of continued growth is often seen as a failure to a certain degree.”

Discussion

Q. What are some ways to assess whether a desire to work is driven by a healthy commitment to the mission vs a reckless grit that is used to numb uncomfortable feelings?

Q. Is ‘foolish grit’ systemic? I.e. to what extent are leaders rewarded by current systems for persisting out of delusional stubbornness?

5. Leadership Confessional

In answer to the question ‘The one thing few people understand about being a leader is…’ respondents confessed many more report-worthy quotes than we have space to include:

“Leaders always have to be on perfect behaviour. Responding with inspirational empathy to even the rudest of human beings. This takes a toll. This is not something I would share with my team.” —C-suite leader, female, Phoenix, USA

“You are - axiomatically - unprepared for leadership. What you did to prepare yourself for it is not what is required to excel at it (this is an empirical statement). And, you are - axiomatically - mostly unprepared for the next go-round.” —Leader, Male, Utah, USA

“It affects you 24 hours, not just '9-5 or at the office'. You carry it like a weight and this can be heavy at times.” —Leader, Female, Munich, Germany

“You can tell people to go home at 5 or switch off their work email after hours, but if you're in the office until 8 every day or answer emails on weekends, chances are it's your behaviours that will become norms.”—Leader, Male, Toronto, Canada

“A bit like a duck - calm on the surface, paddling furiously below”—Leader, female, London, UK

“Getting your health (mental and physical) is critical to being a good leader who sets the right example in emotional situations.” —Leader, female, NYC, USA

“There is relatively less praise for being a leader, as excellence is expected. In addition, being an effective leader requires you to deal with your issues and your ego so that you can actually hear and see what's going on around you without your personal issues getting in the way.” —Leader, Female, Seattle, USA

“I am constantly battling my own demons and sense of doubt.” —Leader, male NYC, USA

“It's the same as trying to describe what it's like to be a parent to someone that doesn't have children. You have either been there or you haven't.” —Leader, male, Chicago, USA

“Leaders need support from other leaders and from ‘their’ leaders” —Leader, male, Athens, Greece

“That it needs to be approached with clear boundaries. You can't be a good leader if you are not balanced or you don't take proper care of yourself.”—C-suite leader, male, Bulgaria.

“We are still human” —C-suite leader, male, Singapore

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Discussion

This question is obviously therapeutic to answer, so we created the single-question survey, Leadership Confessional.

Please share.

6. The Impact of COVID-19

As COVID-19 spread, we ran a follow-up survey that focussed on COVID-19, where 28 of the original respondents shared their experience. This was followed up with 26 phone interviews. What impact did COVID-19 have on their thinking?

At a high level: post-COVID-19, emotional resilience is no longer a luxury, but an urgent reality. 56% of these respondents were planning to invest in emotional resilience and wellbeing training + resources for their company and/or their teams.

While everyone has been forced to adapt to the new reality for themselves and their family’s, leaders take on the additional responsibility of managing and supporting their teams. We are entering the space between leadership paradigms in which the old model, the one that requires a leader’s emotions and humanity to be left at the door, is exposing its fragility as the cumulative emotional debt reveals itself.

“I can't see doing this indefinitely. Our organisation is not mature enough to handle this and I will end up burned out if I'm not careful.” —Female leader, New York City, USA

At the same time new and more resilient ways of operating are emerging as forward-thinking leaders step into conversations with these strategic questions of how to cultivate long-term emotional resilience. For example, Joel Gascoigne, Founder and CEO at Buffer responded by moving his company to a 4-day workweek for the rest of 2020. 

The main challenges, ordered by frequency of responses are:

6.1 Remote Work Challenges—Tacit Pressure & Lack of Boundaries

Making the switch to working from home, whilst needing to adopt a more flexible work schedule and work-life balance is challenging. Of note, building rapport, trust and communicating effectively without in-person cues made leadership more challenging.

32% of respondents reduced the workload of their teams and 63% increased 1:1 communication and held more regular check-ins with their team.

One San Francisco based female leader shared her insight of making generous assumptions from her team: “I've learned that erring on the side of pre-emptive empathy and compassion can go a long way to preserving and lifting the emotional well-being and resilience of a team. Kindness in uncertainty is always a good foresight policy.”

Another remote work obstacle that surfaced was the lack of work/life separation. One male leader from York told us that: “Establishing parameters of what my ‘workday’ has been a real challenge—I pretty much just respond fluidly to circumstances as they unfold as opposed to trying to organize them”

For those new to working remotely there are additional tacit pressures to ‘prove’ their contributions.

“Work never ends. The demands just keep coming. It takes longer to review work and get things done. It's much harder to negotiate when remote. Much harder to coach remotely.” —Leader, female, NYC, USA

6.2 Additional Responsibilities with Minimal Reprieve

One female leader in Los Angeles described her emotional state during the lockdown as being ‘irritable’ as she struggled with balancing parenting with running teams and customer negotiations. Another male leader at a large internet advertising company in Mountain View shared that his ‘weekends were no more restful than weekdays’.

This lack of downtime accumulates ambient stressors, a common path to burnout.

“With public schools closed and both my wife and I trying to work full time, it is clear that we cannot meet the needs of our employers, children, and school simultaneously. It is next to impossible to manage all of the needs equally.” —Leader, male, Chicago, USA

6.3 Reduced Capacity to Concentrate

Working entirely remotely was new for 55% of respondents, understandably leading to workflow disruptions, communication challenges and overall reduced levels of focus.

One male leader from Washington DC told us that ‘it looks like nearly everyone is suffering from the loss of ability to concentrate but few acknowledge it and may not be aware, so they blame other factors and each other.’

Another shared that managing his attention while working remotely has presented its challenges:

“Omnipresent notifications coming in around the clock due to my teams being in many different time zones. Couple this with the struggle of maintaining more mindful personal protocols regarding using my phone.” —Leader, male, San Francisco, USA

6.4 Fewer Outlets for Emotional Regulation

67% cited ‘emotional exhaustion’ as surfacing at times during the lockdown period. 64% experienced ‘frustration or anger’, and 53% have experienced ‘sadness or grief’. 

Yet whilst there is a greater need for letting off steam and processing challenging emotions, many are confined to their city apartments and unable to access the outlets where they might have previously been able to self-regulate—for example at a gym, in-person social gatherings or vacation.

One male leader from Quincy shared: “How stressful the shrinking of my world has been. I didn't realize how important changing stimuli are for me.”

And another from San Francisco mentioned a felt sense of lacking in-person human connection:

“It's been the lack of human connection that often yields the beauty, insight, or warmth we need as people. Online tools simply can't do this, at least not yet.” —Leader, male, San Francisco, USA

6.5 Heightened Anxiety About the Future

79% of the leaders cited ‘uncertainty for the future’ as being a source of stress and 66% told us they had ‘fears for their families wellbeing’.

Anxiety about the future is an ambient, internal stressor that left unchecked will inhibit rejuvenation and contribute to emotional debt.

“I live in Chicago, and I'm also afraid of how the city will change this winter. Normally the only thing getting anyone through is the idea that we can gather, even when it‚ -50F out. I can begin to imagine what social isolation will do to us when we already feel like nature‚ actively working against us.” —C-suite leader, male, Indianapolis, USA

6.6 Unexpected Lockdown Silver Linings

For other leaders, predominantly those already well versed with operating remotely COVID-19 has been an opportunity for a genuine reset and re-prioritisation. One unexpected benefit was of being able to express more humanity at work—for example one San Francisco based female founder reported feeling ‘delighted in the authenticity of being able to be vulnerable with [her] peers/colleagues instead of highly polished’ and that she was showing up to calls in bright and comfortable clothes and not being afraid of being judged on her professional competency for doing so.

She also shared that in return, her clients have ‘introduced [her] to their pets, children, spouses, homes, and hobbies’ as well as finding more regular time to connect with family, virtual game nights and happy hours with friends in other time zones, and new self-care habits.”

Another male founder based in San Francisco shared that he ‘definitely married the right person’ and others have found joy in spending more time at home and embracing life’s simple pleasures:

“Cooking dinner every night has been unexpectedly therapeutic (rather than a chore). I never cooked before lockdown and now we enjoy homemade, nutritious meals together every night. What were we doing before? We must have been crazy.” —Leader, female, NYC, USA

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Discussion

Q. What standards need to be in place for ‘home office’ set-ups that are designed for optimal health as opposed to being “on-call” and perpetual distractions?

Q. Can remote working act as a forcing function for new leadership styles that include more frequent team check-ins, firmer work/home boundaries, more personal time due to the lack of commute, location independence and greater authenticity within working relationships?

Q. With the limited alternatives, how to support emotional regulation? E.g. breathwork sessions, group meditation and coaching practices.

7. Strategies for Resilience

Based on the responses and best practices from emotional resilience research, we’ve identified the following strategies for resilience.

7.1 Acknowledge the Scope of the Challenge

Mitigating burnout and cultivating emotional resilience for leaders is challenging because there is a simultaneous need to:

1. Function at a high level, including holding space for the team.
2. Commit to wellbeing & self-enquiry rituals to avoid emotional debt accumulation.

Or as author and former Facebook Product Manager Antonio García Martínez put it: “As CEO, you’re both the therapist leader, and the patient most in need of therapy.” (Martínez, 2016) 

However, one silver lining of COVID-19 is that it appears to have shifted the desire to invest in emotional resilience—from the backburner to an urgent concern, as the beast of burnout speeds towards us from the horizon.

7.2 Post-burnout Insights

Being in a position of leadership is an efficient vehicle for surfacing one’s own challenges and provides an opportunity for reflection and personal growth, such as being more empathetic to colleagues.

We posed the following question to our leaders who reported experiencing burnout: ‘With the benefit of hindsight, what would you have done differently?’

Responses ranged from a desire to ‘take time out for myself to step back and re-calibrate more regularly’ (Leader, female, UK) to one female San-Francisco based leader who candidly shared that she might have ‘tried psychedelics’ sooner.

Others demonstrated impressive self-awareness: “Perfectly informed, I would have had a better understanding about how my strengths and pathologies would show up in the things I created - had I known that, I would have bent myself to the task of doing the work I needed to do to get myself out of the way.” —Leader, male, Connecticut, USA

Finally, a female leader based in Seattle mentioned that they would have made more out of the crisis to invest in lasting changes: “If I knew then what I know now, I would have used the burnout to boost my confidence (not kill it) and push for radical change. It is in these moments of chaos that organizational change is most possible.”

7.3 Habits & Rituals for Maintaining Emotional Wellbeing

In response to our question of ‘What habits or rituals have helped to maintain your emotional wellbeing?’ we received a series of wholesome responses: ranging from daily yoga, home cooking and occasional cannabis usage to practising Chinese, sunrise trail runs and of course, sex.

In a follow-up conversation, one San Francisco based leader shared that in his recent experience, using wearables have been meaningful for increasing his own self-awareness and ‘validating how he felt’—with heart-rate variability and sleep data—allowing him to give himself permission to ‘recharge his own batteries’ by working less on days when his body was showing signs of fatigue.

7.4 If More Resources Were Available…

We posed the question of how leaders would spend an additional $500 to $2500 per month to invest in themselves. The variety of answers was intriguing: ranging from professional coaching and therapy to outlets for learning and spending time in nature. Here are a selection of ten responses:

“I would divide the money between cognitive therapy, professional coaching, and a fund to get the team out for some inspiring R&R.” —Leader, male, Chicago, USA

“I’d like access to C-suite coaches who I can ask small and large questions of and who could call me out on my BS or blindspots. I’d demand that the cohort be 30% women of colour.” —C-suite Leader, female, Providence, USA

“Seek a mentor, set up rituals, be more diligent with my time to ensure I was including the things I need for social, physical and mental health.” —Leader, female, Munich, Germany

“Enroll in courses that would make me more self-resilient, and I would spend more time in conversation with people I value.” —Leader, male, Providence, USA

“Buy a surfboard and surf once a week.” —Leader, male, Tokyo, Japan

"More time doing safe but adventurous things in wild natural settings, including service work, teaching, and learning." —Leader, male, Pagosa Springs, USA

"Meditation retreats, plant medicine and workshops in things that interest me and broaden my horizons." —Leader, male, London, UK

“I would work fewer hours, go to therapy, hire a personal trainer, and travel more to conduct research with the people we work with." —Founder, male, Portland, USA

"A day to lockout mobiles and work and concentrate on emotional and physical resetting" —Founder, male, Shanghai, China

"One week by the coast or in the mountains each month, pursuing a Gates-inspired ‘think week’" —Founder, male, Bay Area, USA

—

Discussion

Q. What is preventing these leaders from doing these things? In some cases we hypothesise that the budget and time could be there if the ROI was easier to measure. Is it partly a question of permission?

Q. What are the downstream effects of these investments upon their decision making and leadership capacity? What is a sustainable cadence? Is there such a thing as too much personal development?

Q. What is the relationship between engaging in the practices of emotional debt relief and creativity? Studies show that when a leader’s sleep quality is high, innovative behaviour the next day is high (Williamson, 2018). To what degree do these investments not only mitigate burnout but boost cognitive performance?

7.5 Building a Resilience Toolkit

In the following sections, we’ll explore tried and tested methods for improving resilience, recognising that for most readers they need to fit into busy schedules.

7.5.1 Roadmap for Individual Leaders

Given the current situation, heavy workload and resource constraints—where to go from here? We provide suggestions for building emotional resilience that can be practiced in the short, medium and long term. Many of these can be practiced without support, others need organisational buy-in, some require engaging with professional practitioners such as resiliency coaches, mentors, yoga instructors.

7.5.2 Short-term: Snap out of Autopilot

If you are currently in fire-fighting mode and concerned that some degree of emotional debt has already accumulated—the first order of operations is to acknowledge that there is a problem and that the default path is unsustainable.

Or put bluntly by one female Sydney-based C-suite leader: ‘I would have stopped smashing my head into the wall and come out of autopilot sooner.’

With so much going on we all lose sight of the broader perspective at times, so it’s vital that we have regular check-ins. One male founder based in San Francisco told us that ‘it sounds dumb but I literally look in the mirror and ask ‘do I feel ok right now?’”

—

Reflection Questions

Q1. How do I genuinely feel? How does my body feel? Am I tense? How is my quality of sleep? When was the last time I felt deeply relaxed and rejuvenated?

Q2. Does the concept of emotional debt resonate? Does my way of living and working feel sustainable? Do I have tendencies to numb and distract myself? Am I prone to emotional outbursts?

Q3. What is my immediate recovery strategy? What are non-essential tasks that I can delegate or eliminate to free up time for recovery and self-care? How could I set clear boundaries with my time and energy? What are the activities that nourish me and restore my vitality? Do I need to take time off?

7.5.3 Mid-term: Invest in Burnout Insurance

Step 1. Have the Courage to be Curious

Burnout symptoms vary significantly depending on the individual and their respective levels of mental and emotional exhaustion.

Self-care practices are essential for returning to baseline, but it is vital to note that these are ultimately insufficient if not paired with self-inquiry to bring awareness to the underlying internal stressors.

Remember that no matter how much in each moment you are suffering, there are always two choices:

• Numb the pain. Distract, ignore + push down. Close down and carry on.
• Be curious. Have the courage to enquire + feel into the discomfort.

This might sound simple but it is not easy. It takes courage to choose the latter and engage with discomfort. One of the great ironies of walking the path of resilience is that in the moment it feels like weakness.

In the short term, it will be tempting to stay in autopilot, to continue to numb by working longer hours or pretending that the problem will go away, at least until some version of rock-bottom is reached.

Step 2. Identify and Address Shadow Stressors

For those ready and willing to engage with practices for self-enquiry, a powerful starting point is the following question whom the executive coach Jerry Colonna is fond of asking: ‘In what ways are you complicit in creating the conditions you say you don’t want?’ The word complicit is chosen deliberately since it implies that you are neither fully responsible nor a victim of the circumstances. The question invites honest conversation and self-reflection.

Don’t go down this path alone. Having a coach, therapist or trusted group of fellow leaders on the same path will increase the odds of staying on track when it gets challenging.

Below is a sampling of internal stressors referenced by previous leaders attending the Studio D Emotional Resilience masterclass with suggestions for countermeasures:

Step 3. Schedule Emotional Regulation Activities in the Calendar

Emotional regulation and self-inquiry practices are the missing piece from many leaders’ resilience stacks. We define these as self-guided or facilitated practices designed to relieve the burden of accumulated emotional debt.

Gathering information and resources is the first step, but without committed and consistent routines and rituals, meaningful progress will be limited. As a proverb from a Papua New Guinean tribe goes, ‘Knowledge is only a rumour until it lives in the muscle’.

As with climbing out of financial debt, they may need to be front-loaded in the beginning and then scheduled on a less frequent basis once the majority of the debt has cleared.

To be clear, strong emotions like anger or frustration will still arise—what will change with practice, is the efficiency with which they are processed and integrated, often resulting in greater self-awareness.

This work is not easy and there is no silver-bullet solution. What matters is a commitment to the process. We recommend diving in and keeping track of your resilience experiments and the insights that emerge. The list below is by no means exhaustive but aims to share some techniques we believe to be effective.

Daily

• Micro-breathwork practices: two minutes of box-breathing, the 4-6-8 technique or alternate nostril breathing have been shown to significantly reduce anxiety, down-regulate the nervous system and increase heart-rate variability (Zaccaro, Andrea et al., 2018).
• Expressive writing: a journaling technique that involves writing in a stream-of-consciousness style, for four days in a row, for 20 minutes, about the stressful experience. Backed by over 30+ years of research, this technique has been shown to reduce negative emotions and process emotional debt (Pennebaker, 2014)
• Time in nature: Spending time in the great outdoors is simple yet powerful practice. Studies on forest bathing (Shinrin-yoku) have demonstrated remarkably improving immunity and inflammatory indexes, significantly enhancing people’s emotional state and obvious alleviation of anxiety and depression. (Wen, Y. et al., 2019)
• Cold stimulation: taking cold showers or ice-baths are highly effective at increasing heart-rate variability and diminishing stress-related symptoms (Jungmann, Manuela et al. 2018)

Weekly

• Neurodynamic breathwork: this technique of intense breathing for 45-90 minutes has been shown to help nervous system regulation and releasing emotional debt (Clarke, 2019). The method has been adapted from the 3-hour ‘holotropic’ sessions pioneered by Stanislav Grof, to shorter 45-90 minute sessions that are facilitated remotely.
• Self-enquiry meditation: specific mindfulness practices can be effective for eliciting and releasing challenging emotions (Guendelman, Simón et al. 2017) For example, this free guided meditation designed for cultivating emotional resilience and unpacking sources of internal stressors (recorded by Jonny, co-author of this report).
• Executive coaching: if budget is available—working with an experienced coach to identify blind spots, marshall support to assist with leadership growth and emotional resilience.

Monthly / Quarterly

• Virtual peer support circles: one of the simplest and most impactful actions you can take is to join (or create) a virtual peer support circle. These vary in format, but the essence involves creating a safe space to express emotional challenges and forge meaningful connections.
• Somatic Therapy: Talk therapy is helpful up to a point (Carey, 2015) our suggestion would be to work with a trauma-aware therapist, such as Dr Peter Levine’s somatic experiencing (SE) therapy.

Annually

• Meditation retreat: Many meditators report not really learning how to meditate until their first retreat. Although not for the faint of heart, 10-day silent Vipassana meditation retreats are a common option, popularised recently by Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey (NB. no need to go all the way to Myanmar). If meditation feels like too much of a leap, try just taking a week off the grid to disconnect, ideally in nature.
• Annual review: Setting aside time to take stock of your life and career, to reflect if you feel aligned and in sync with your life values and current trajectory—as well as set clear intentions and design a roadmap for growth in the year to come.

Community Suggestions

• We’ve created an open spreadsheet where we welcome your suggestions and recommendations for executive coaches, recovery and emotional regulation tools. View the resources and add your own here.

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Discussion

Q. To what degree can leaders be persuaded to engage in deep self-enquiry without first experiencing some degree of personal suffering? Besides hitting burnout, what catalysts are conducive to escaping auto-pilot?

Q. Some leaders shared that their experiences with psychedelics were a pivotal moment in their journey towards greater self-awareness. Is there a role for these ‘plant medicines’ in safe and supportive environments? E.g. MDMA-assisted psychotherapy is currently undergoing phase III trials at MAPS and showing promise to be a cure for PTSD symptoms (MAPS, 2020)

Q. Are there challenges of accessibility for these emotional regulation tools? Certainly, executive coaching is not available to all leaders and there may be additional barriers depending on the location, gender and ethnic background of the leader.

7.5.4 Long-term: Cultivating Cultural Resilience in the Organisation

The focus of the v1 survey was on individual resilience in leadership. However, in the process of writing this report the question of what factors impact human-resilience at an organisational level arose. We have shared some below along with tentative suggestions for future research directions.

—

Discussion

Q. What organisations and countries are leading the way in supporting resilience through work practices, public policy and legislation?

We’d love to hear from respondents from across the globe.

Q. Where is the greatest degree of leverage for cultivating organisational level resilience?

Our working hypothesis is that at least part of the answer lies in leadership teams doing their inner work of self-enquiry and engaging with consistent self-regulation practices due to the ripple effects of emotional contagion, but we don’t yet have data to back this up.

Q. What are frequent shadow stressors that are caused or exacerbated by the systems and processes inherent within the organisation?

E.g. an implicit culture of being ‘always on’, urgency around email response time may exacerbate an employee’s workaholic tendencies or diminished capacity to set appropriate boundaries.

Q. How do you build sufficient buffers and slack into the system when the modus operandi is to strive for optimal efficiency. Is long-term human resilience at odds with short-term optimisation?

The challenge with optimising for short-term efficiency is that it creates long term fragility (Taleb, 2014). When random events, often called ‘Black Swans’ such as COVID-19 hit, the errors and fluctuations in highly optimised systems compound. One example from the author’s experience is optimising flight connections that failed to leave sufficient time for delays, which led to a long term delay and missing the first day of the conference. So the well-intended optimisation proved costly.

Q. What are examples of cultural practices at work that likely generate a healthy ‘resilient’ culture as opposed to one that is toxic and ‘fragile’?

Our take is that orienting company practices towards enquiring into potential sources of ambient stress and then working consciously with those impacted to design countermeasures. Some examples might include: reinforcing psychological safety with transparent communication, communicating diversity and inclusion best practices or expressing genuine vulnerability from leadership teams. Or for employees at new to working from home, providing explicit home-office assistance.

Q. What are examples of companies who have built systems to remove subtle sources of ambient stress and created a culture of reasonable expectations?

For example, the founder of Basecamp Jason Fried has been outspoken about the agile metaphor of working in ‘sprints’ saying that it’s not about running all out as fast as you can but about working calmly and making smart calls along the way without brute force or catching collective breath at the end (Fried & Heinemeier Hansson, 2018).

Q. Does working Monday to Friday leave sufficient time for rejuvenation? Whilst it most likely depends on the nature of the work, the generally unquestioned assumption of the 40-hour workweek may be worth revisiting.

We spoke with Joel Gascoigne, CEO at Buffer who experimented during the month of May with a 4-day workweek. During their pilot they ran team surveys and found that the 4-day work week led to higher autonomy, lower stress levels and higher work happiness, so made the decision to keep to the 4-day work week for the rest of 2020.

Q. Can the principles of individual resilience and emotional debt relief be extended to an organisational level?

From our initial research, it seems existing literature around organisational post-traumatic growth (OPTG) is relatively sparse. If suitable KPIs for both individual and organisational resilience could be established, we are interested to investigate the relationship between the two.

8. Reflecting Forward

8.1 Building Burnout Insurance

We were surprised at the volume of responses to the survey, and the willingness to share experiences—for many the survey provided a therapeutic outlet, and a recognition that someone cares enough to ask and act upon the answer.

The v1 survey was deliberately open ended to explore the boundaries of this domain. Going forward we plan to:

1. Run a v2 survey that explores the prevalence of burnout and other questions raised by this report.
2. Quantify the ROI for investing in emotional resilience.
3. Assess the effectiveness of interdisciplinary toolkits and training geared towards building emotional fitness, self-awareness and cultivating resilience.
4. Build out and point to resources for the community, including practices, self-assessment and organisational assessment surveying tools, coaching and training.

8.2 Brace for Impact

The quarantine period has significantly exacerbated levels of emotional debt, which were already high; and that many leaders will currently be operating from a state of increased fragility.

The consequences of this will be: increased burnout, with consequent physical, emotional and financial costs.

Additional stressors may arise in the coming months—such as an anticipated second wave of the COVID-19 pandemic—we expect vulnerable leaders to be nudged over the tipping point and into burnout.

Radical times provide an opportunity for a radical reassessment of priorities, to survey your teams, create a safe space for communication, and introduce practices that support resilience.

8.3 Beyond the Bottom Line: What Really Matters?

More resilient leaders and organisations will lead to more effective business leaders.

What is the north star of life pointing towards? For some, it might be personal growth, creative contribution or forging meaningful connections with others. Ironically, for some a severe burnout provides the existential opening which serves as a catalyst for re-aligning one’s work-life with their broader values.

—

Discussion

Q. Why do we invest so much of ourselves through work? What do we seek on a deeper level?

Q. What is the life that you want for yourself and the teams that you lead? Are your values truly aligned with your actions? How much pain do you need to feel before making necessary changes to your work life?

Q. If you have a family when you get home at the end of the day, what kind of leader do you want to be present for your partner and children?

8.4 Potential Support

Training

Virtual Masterclass, 2021: Exploring resilience fundamentals, through a balance of understanding, experiencing and integrating resilience practices into your day, combining in-depth talks, hands-on activities, group exploration and plenty of unique support material. Online via Zoom | May 4-6, 2021.

Oaxaca Retreat, 2021: Intensive training to explore the fundamentals of emotional resilience, specifically designed for startup founders and leaders. We've secured a beautiful villa nestled amongst expansive rice fields in Bali to provide an nourishing backdrop for personal reflection and recalibration on the broader questions of work and life. Oaxaca, Mexico | Apply for 2021 

Afghanistan Expeditions, 2021: Studio D runs high altitude expeditions in a remote, peaceful part of Afghanistan, where we are map trekking routes to support sustainable tourism in the region. The experience provides “a mirror on your soul” and a rough hand to prioritise what is important—attendees often emerge with a new lease on life. We are now accepting applications for summer 2021 teams. Wakhan Corridor, Afghanistan | Apply here

Tools

We plan to build out tools for the community for self assessment, avoiding burnout and becoming more resilient leaders. These will be published in due course.

Partner with Us

We are working on a v2 of the emotional resilience survey, with a greater focus on closed questions, to support comparison and assessment.

We are looking to partner with a suitable organisation to run longitudinal research on resilience and burnout and to deploy tools that support resilience in leadership. Contact us here.

Join the Mailing List

To stay in touch with the Emotional Resilience reports, resources and training please leave your email here.

Appendices

About the Authors

Jonny Miller is the founder of Curious Humans, an independent consultancy that helps leaders ask better questions, and operates a coaching practice for founders and executives. Jonny will run the Emotional Resilience online Masterclasses.

Jan Chipchase is the founder of Studio D, a research, design and strategy consultancy that operates in challenging environments. His interest in emotional resilience centers on leading teams, including high altitude expeditions in Afghanistan. He previously held positions as Executive Creative Director of Global Insights at frog design and Principal Scientist at Nokia.

Acknowledgements

Thank you to the survey respondents and interviewees for sharing their experiences and hard-earned wisdom.

A tip of the hat to the practitioners whose research has shaped our understanding of this field, including but not limited to Ed Batista, Emily Anhalt, Jerry Colonna, Sarah Drinkwater, Dan Pink and Leo Widrich. A full list can be found in the references below. We welcome pointers to other relevant research.

With thanks to the review team of: Anne-Laure Le Cunff, Buster Benson, Melissa Hui, David Langer, Lance Diaresco, Ivy Ross, Pieter Levels, Sebastian C. Scholz, Tyler Tringas and Robert Wuebker. 

Full Glossary

adaptive capacity. The ability to prevent and absorb disruptions, which is a skill that can be practised and cultivated over time (Duman, 2017; Adger, 2000).

autonomic nervous system. Influences the function of internal organs and is a control system that acts largely unconsciously to regulate bodily functions, such as the heart rate, digestion, respiratory rate, pupillary response, urination, and sexual arousal (Blessing & Gibbins, 2008).

burnout. A syndrome of mental and physical exhaustion resulting from chronic stress. The three dimensions characterising burnout are feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, increased cynicism or psychological distance from one’s work and reduced professional efficacy (WHO, 2020). The accumulation of unaddressed emotional debt increases the likelihood of burnout.

centered. The qualities of being mentally and emotionally well-balanced throughout times of stress. A demonstration of equanimity during a crisis.

down-regulate. The process of reducing or suppressing a response to a stimulus. For this report, we refer to the down-regulation of the autonomic nervous system, from a sympathetic to a parasympathetic response. Down-regulation can be learned.

emotional antifragility. Becoming more resilient through the process of integrating fragility-inducing stressors using emotional regulation techniques. The goal of resilience training is to create antifragile systems that can withstand unexpected stressors.

emotional contagion. Refers to the transfer of moods and feelings from one person to another. For example, a calm manager can spread calmness throughout the team, a highly anxious manager can lead to high blood pressure in the team (Barsade, 2018).

emotional fragility. 
Being sensitive to the introduction of any kind of stressor and/or a rise in the volatility of stressors. The opposite of emotional fragility is resilience.

emotional debt. The accumulation of unprocessed stressors by an individual, often held as micro-trauma or tension in the body. Leaders have a tendency to ‘over-function’ and build up some emotional debt during stressful periods—which can be extremely helpful in the short term as it allows us to get through the moment, but if left unaddressed, these accumulate, increase fragility and manifest as greater susceptibility to emotional triggers—symptoms that lead to burnout.

emotional regulation. Outlets and habits designed to down-regulate the nervous system following significant stressors during the course of a day and engage in self-enquiry to unpack emotional triggers and relieve accumulated emotional debt. For example, positive face-to-face interactions activate neural pathways (through the vagus nerve) that down-regulate the sympathetic activation associated with both exercise and stress (Lucas, 2018)

equanimity. The capacity to deal with stressors whilst maintaining calm and composed, without numbing or avoiding the feelings associated with them.

Heart Rate Variability (HRV). Shows promise as a ‘global psychophysiological index of resilience’ that can be tracked with relative ease using modern wearable technology (Gillie & Thayer, 2014).

leadership scaffolding. The process of inquiry that can systematically support leaders and their teams with mapping out types of support required (mental, physical and emotional) selecting suitable coaches, mentors and trainers as well as deciding on an appropriate engagement cadence and structure

parasympathetic response. Sometimes referred to as the ‘rest and digest’ response, this is the state of being for conserving energy, slowing down our heart rate and recovering. This response can be activated within two minutes of conscious breathing, where the exhale is twice as long as the inhale.

psycho-somatisation. Refers to physical manifestations of emotional states. These often occur when someone is unable to feel something emotionally.

psychological safety. A culture of respect, trust, and openness where it is safe to raise ideas and concerns without fear of being shut down in a gratuitous way. Psychological safety enables candour and openness and, therefore, thrives in an environment of mutual respect (Edmondson, 2018).

relaxer. An event that creates a parasympathetic response in the human nervous system.

resilience. The capacity to thrive while taking on stressors. Our definition can also be thought of as 'anti-fragility' or ‘post-traumatic growth’ —where the individual or system emerges stronger following a stressor. This should not be confused with ‘robustness’ which may be thought of as the capacity to take more punishment in a work context.

resilience, leadership. The capacity of a leader to remain centred, move through and crucially, grow from stressors—increasing adaptability to their environment.

resilience, organisational. Refers to an organisation’s ability to create an environment that enhances the resilience of its employees (Brock & Grady, 2002; Nishikawa, 2006). Includes workplace cultural beliefs and rituals that serve to increase adaptive capacity, and process accumulated emotional debt in its employees.

resilience rituals. Individual or organisational practices that expand the Zone of
Tolerance, relieve emotional debt and establish a culture of resilience. For example, demonstrating permission to ignore work at weekends and take time off, establishing weekly peer support group sessions, promoting coaching or counselling services, training resilience ambassadors, and practising self-care from leadership.

shadow stressor. Stressors which are either internal or ambient, that typically fades into the background to the point of going unnoticed. To become more resilient we need to inquire into and audit these subtle sources of stress, such that they can either be resolved or self-regulated.

somatic awareness. Refers to the process of learning to experience emotions as felt sensations in the body as opposed to purely as narrative (Payne, Peter et al, 2015).

stressor. An event that creates a sympathetic response in the human nervous system. For the purposes of this research, we’re mostly interested in four categories of stressor: internal, external, ambient and specific.

stressor, specific A specific event that can be pointed to that generates a sympathetic stress response. For example, unexpectedly losing a large client and realising the company will need to make layoffs.

stressor, ambient Present in the background of our lives that are conducive to leaving our nervous system in a persistent low-level sympathetic stress response. For example, working in an office with a flickering neon light or being unable to concentrate in an open-plan office.

stressor, external Events occurring in the outside world that trigger a sympathetic stress response.

stressor, internal Stress caused by an internal narrative or belief that generates a sympathetic stress response (Laferton and Fischer, 2020). Internal stressors are often overlooked. For example, the stress caused by imposter syndrome, feeling isolated or perfectionist tendencies.

sympathetic response. also referred to as the ‘fight or flight’ response—this is the state our body enters in response to stressors, stimulating the adrenal glands, triggering the release of adrenaline, noradrenaline and shallow breathing.

trauma. Any unresolved autonomic nervous system response to an event. Micro-traumas are a subset of trauma that is stored as tension in cells and fascial tissue—‘trauma plays out in the theatre of the body’). It’s worth mentioning that mammals naturally ‘shake off’ their traumas whereas humans tend to lack emotional regulation practices to do so (Levine, 2015)

vagal tone. Our state of wellbeing is largely influenced by the largest or ‘10th cranial nerve’ in our body known as the ‘vagus nerve’. Resilience training increases ‘vagal tone’ which increases the speed at which we can recover after stress. The etymology of vagus is “wanderer” because it wanders throughout the entire body. While much is still unknown about the vagus nerve, recent studies have shown that the majority of our emotions originate in the vagus nerve (Porges, 2011; Silberstein, 2016).

zone of tolerance. Describes the range of stressors within which a human is able to function, process and integrate information, and respond to the demands of everyday life with relative ease. Outside of this zone leads to hyper-arousal and an unsustainable sympathetic response in the nervous system, which if left unregulated results in stored trauma in the body and emotional debt. Measuring heart rate variability is a helpful proxy measure for one’s Zone of Tolerance. Adapted from the window of tolerance concept from work of Gillie and Thayer, (2014).

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