[The following is a non-profit, fan-based parody.

The PPC was created by Jay and Acacia.

Monster Musume (the continuum one of the new agents comes from) is owned by Okayado.

Secret of Mana (the other new agent’s home continuum) belongs to Square Enix.

The new agents are mine.

Betas: Omega, Desdendelle, SkarmorySilver

Enjoy!]

The new recruit drummed her foot impatiently, not realizing she was denting the floor. She’d met her boss (who was, much to her surprise, a giant psychic sunflower) and been directed to her new living space, Response Center 512. She’d also broken the door getting in, but that was of very little consequence to her.

What was more important was that, apparently, she wouldn’t be working alone. According to the suited sunflower, her partner was due to arrive shortly after she did.

But Gabby the hobgoblin, having fallen into a plothole after joining the Interspecies Cultural Exchange Program, was not a terribly patient woman.

“Where’s my partner, where’s my partner, where’s my partner, when will they be here…”

Just as she was getting up to find her partner herself, a gigantic yellow shape filled the damaged door frame.

Gabby flinched backward. “Okay, what the heck? What are you and what are you doing here! This is my RC!”

The creature brought its face into view. Gabby wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting, but an oversized ant wasn’t on the list. “is this response center five-twelve? i was told to report here and meet my new partner.” Rather than any sort of clicking or hissing, the thing’s voice sounded synthetic and mechanical.

Gabby stared back at the bug, a confused expression on her face. “Uh… yes, yes it is.”

“ah, excellent. locating this response center took entirely too much of my time. my name is chakkik.” Chakkik tried to enter the RC, but he was rather unfortunately too big to fit. “i rather detest doors. they are generally not built with mantis ants in mind.”

Gabby walked up to the door, placed one hand on each side of the frame, and pushed.

Anyone happening to walk by frantically covered their ears as the doorframe screamed in protest. It wasn’t a match for Gabby, though, and Chakkik could fit through the dramatically enlarged entrance as well.

Chakkik clicked his mandibles. “i thank you for your assistance. i was not aware that humans possessed such great strength.”

“I’m not human. I’m a hobgoblin!” Gabby extended her hand. “Anyway, the name’s Gabby. Welcome aboard!”

The Mantis Ant looked at her hand, then raised his own arms; clearly, mantis-like scythes were not good for handshaking. “i suppose i should have realized. most humans do not have bone protrusions from their skulls.” Chakkik appeared thoughtful for a moment. “unless their name is ico. or hanyuu.”

“They’re called horns.”

After that, Gabby and Chakkik simply stood there for a few minutes.

Gabby shifted uncomfortably. “Sssoooo… what are your fandoms?”

“i have not been here long enough to develop a large number. that said, i watched the first two episodes of steven universe while awaiting assignment, and i also played a small amount of league of legends...”

Gabby’s interest perked up. “Ooohh, League! Who’s your main?”

“i do not yet have a champion that i specialize in. i am, however, quite interested in the character of kha’zix.”

The hobgoblin reached into the bag she had on the floor, and after a few moments of rummaging, she extracted a laptop. “Howzabout we go a few rounds? Loser doesn’t get any Bleeprin on our first mission.”

“ah, bleeprin. that substance which drives disturbing images from the mind.” Chakkik’s mandibles opened widely, possibly his version of a smile. “how do humans put it? you are on.”

—

“...Rrrgh, how are you so good at this game?”

“i am not certain of the source of your confusion. i memorized the statistics of kha’zix, the non-player enemies and the champion that you insist on using, despite it being quite clear that kha’zix counters twisted fate.”

“How do you remember all that? All I can remember are what my abilities do!”

“regardless, you have lost nine times over the course of four hours. please do not waste our time further by making this game ‘best of twenty-one.’ i am the victor.”

“I guess I’m not getting any Bleeprin, then…” Gabby grumbled.

Approximately three seconds later, Gabby realized that wagering Bleeprin rights was probably  a bad idea.

[BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!]

[Voyd’s notes: Meet the new team!

You may be asking: Why am I making a second agent pair, when I already have a Floaters team? The reason is based on what Valon and Kala have done.

I’ve noticed that every one of the RC 211 missions deals with character replacement, rather than actual Sues or Sue-wraiths. I’ve decided to let them stick to that formula, and have these two deal with OC Sues.

Besides, I’ve been itching to write Gabby for ages, and I also wanted an agent from Secret of Mana.

As for why Chakkik has a different font when speaking, it’s simply because of a translator accessory that Gabby didn’t notice. The original Mantis Ant couldn’t speak, so Chakkik needed some way to communicate.]