De-escalation best practices:

  • Do your best to stay calm! Focus on your breathing and grounding yourself. When we stay calm we can approach situations with more clarity and help those around us remain calm. If you are feeling escalated/triggered, tap in someone else for backup instead of trying to handle something while escalated.
  • Do not engage with counter protesters/hecklers, remain calm and encourage our folks to also not engage and refocus on what they are there to do.
  • If you do engage with a heckler, speak in a firm, calm and confident voice. Try asking them questions to distract from their shouting and ask them to step away. Approach them in pairs for safety.
  • Grounded body language. Arms down, feet planted. When someone is shouting or escalated, you can try starting with a firmer/louder voice and then lowering your voice (this can work bc ppl often mirror behavior, they may lower their voice too)
  • Avoid arguing and/debating/trying to reason with anyone- that is a trap. Do not say “calm down”- this triggers people. Avoid gendered language like sir or mam.
  • Distraction can be a great de-escalation tool.
  • Do not talk to or engage with cops- encourage our members not to engage either. Direct police liaisons to cops instead.

Body language

  • POSTURE – Equal but not threatening. Shoulders back, stand with straight back, alert and in charge. Arms open, not crossed. Don’t touch people you never met – if you know them, at least ask for consent. With police: palms up and open.
  • NEUTRAL FACE – Neutral face harder to engage with. Not hostile, not beaming.
  • VOICE – Talk low and slow. Never scream. Gentle and firm tones.
  • EYE CONTACT – Not same across cultures, sometimes can help humanize and make people less likely to hurt you.
  • PAUSE – Don’t be afraid to pause or do nothing. Take deep breaths: in for two counts, out for five.
  • ALLOW FOR EXIT – Try not to block someone’s exit.
  • DON’T POINT OR SHAKE FINGERS - No one likes that.
  1. Our practice is to have de-escalators dispersed within the marshal team, and to also instruct all marshals and de-escalators that they may have to switch between roles (flexibility!)

Verbal De-escalation Tactics

  • PREVENT. Listen for tension; breezily interrupt; separate people.
  • “Everything alright over here? So-and-so, can I talk with you for a minute?”
  • BE WHERE THEY’RE AT. This is not a moment to convince.  Escalated people believe they are right and misunderstood, so de-escalation team members must be prepared to listen and speak to people where they are at.
  • ACTIVE LISTENING. We can practice active listening even when in disagreement. This can mean reflecting back what we’re hearing.
  • “I hear that you want ___.”
  • “I understand that you’re upset / feel threatened / we see this differently.”
  • “I see you’re really frustrated.”
  • “I hear you” / “I’m listening.”
  • NAME THE BEHAVIOR. Naming the behavior gives perpetrators the opportunity to identify their behaviors and correct themselves. Avoid using labels or sarcasm or articulating assumptions about motives.
  • CONVERSATIONAL OFFERS. Identify a point of agreement and build from there.
  • “You know, I agree with you about ____.”
  • “What I really like about what you just said is ____.”
  • YOU DON’T HAVE TO ENGAGE. Non-engagement can be powerful and unexpected. It is difficult to engage with a silent party. Try letting people exhaust themselves.
  • DISTRACTION. Offer to show them something or introduce them to someone. Ask if you can add their name to a list. Propose an alternative project they might like. Ask them to take a walk with you. If it’s one of our own people, ask them to pass out flyers, hold signs, or join in some other coordinated effort.
  • GET HELP. Try approaching someone who is connected to the escalated person to assist you in calming them down. Sometimes it’s better to approach a situation as a small group, but remember, it’s usually best to limit # of responders to #s reacting.
  • CHOICES. A lack of choice can feel violating.
  • “You can lower your voice, or leave.”
  • “You can step over here, or lower your voice.”
  • SURPRISE.  Sometimes you can disarm someone with your own vulnerability.
  •  “You’re right. I should not have said that.”
  •   If you feel comfortable, offer your hand to them and introduce yourself.
  • RESPECT – Never assume someone’s pronoun. Refrain from using gender-specific words such as Sir, Mam, She, Him, Sister, Brother, etc.