My Writing goal (from your Goals slideshow):  Use the correct tense and extend the sentence with more details. Use some attraction for the reader when they read the story.

My style of writing:

Planning/Thought Shower: I thought the picture was like the meaning of a very large creature like a giant whale. I planned that the shadow was so huge so I wrote about it and attract the reader.

About a hundred years ago, there lived a young man named James and had a lot of pet fish. He did not talk that much when he found something surprising but he was very smart. He knew a lot about whales and other marine animals, he was only keen on learning about whales. He was first living very unhappily ever after when he got less smarter. “What shall I eat?” he thought. Sometimes he ate his pet fish because he was so poor. Soon, he had no pet fish to eat and he had only got 5 gold coins left. He went fishing everyday and caught no fish. He hadn’t got a weeny tiny fish so he went further from the ocean. In the middle of the ocean there was a huge creature that looked very strange. It was 150 feet long and weighed more than 100 tons. It was black in colour. People thought it was a whale since it was so large. There was an other person named James and lived next to him. He went close to his house but he was too shy to go into his house. One day, James went in a boat was about to go fishing, he was just 25 years old and was very scared when he saw a big shadow in the water. He was frightened of the creature because it might eat him. But sometimes when he looked at the creature, it just went away. But most of the time, it attacked his boat because last time, he saw a person got eaten by the creature. It’s tail was only twice as thin as his height but very large compared to him. Finally, he decided to see what it was, he had never seen something that large before, the largest thing he had seen was a elephant. He found something weird that the female was larger than the males. It was 100 times heavier than a elephant and as long as a crowd of people. Soon he saw heaps of them swimming. He thought it was not a whale, it had sharp teeth and a thin tail. Maybe it was a baleen whale from the olden days. Later, he knew what the creature was, it was a type of whale but larger than the normal size. It was the blue whale, the largest mammal ever in the whole world. He thought it was delicious so he gt his knife and tried to kill it. Soon he knew that the whale could explode, he could see oxygen comming out. He looked for other animals to be as small as the hole and fix this animal in 4 sea. But it kicked him, “Ow, that hurts so much”. Then danger happened, the whale shot into his boat and started to toss it. The bad news was he was stuck in the middle of the ocean. The good news was he wasn’t tossed when he was on his boat. He tried to get back his boat but the whale was so fast that when he swam. When he swam he got water in his mouth and when he got water in his mouth, he could not breathe that much. In a fraction of a second, he called the coast guard to help and rescue him. “Help, I need help, please help me!”, but it was no use, he was too far from shore. Finally, he found his boat being scratched but it was still working, he tried to eat the small fish but it made him hungrier. Soon, he was too hungry, he caught no fish so he drove his boat back to shore. Unfortunately he but it only had a speed of 65 knots per hour and he was in the middle of the ocean and very close to another island. It like took him 5 hours to get him back to shore. He could see the whale swimming past him to his island.  Soon when he arrived at the shore, the whale was stranded on the beach trying to look for food on the sand. He parked his boat on the shore and ran to the creature. Wow, he thought cutting the whale’s body, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, he counted and then sliced the whale, “who did this?, that was so surprising, what went wrong” he thought. “I did this and they are not very smart, they think that there are many food at the shore said a voice, it was another person called James and told him: “there are many large whales stranded a day. They shared the whale and took a year to eat it all, he cut each piece every day. Now he did not have to go fishing after all. Soon there came 100 giant whales trying to find the victim who killed the whale they were very frightening as blood comming out of their teeth, it made a creepy loud sound. “These animals are loud” thought James. It swam towards the beached whales but some small animals swam around it, making it not focused on what it  was looking at it’s prey. It swam close to shore and made the whales get stuck on the beach and made it die in a minute.  The next day, 5 beached whales were stranded on the beach. “105” The two James thought. Some of them were sold and some of them were eaten by James and the other James. They were now so famous and happy By now, he was 50 years old now. He cut off it’s teeth to make them for necklaces and sold them. He now had a lot of money to buy food and a lot of food near the beach. For now on, James lived happily ever after and made and made him talk a lot about whales. He cooked the meat from the whale as he was so lucky to have the giant meal and it was even so delicious that he ate it everyday.