Transcriber: @robotchangeling
Austin (as Nash): Everything’s there, right?
Jack (as Carly): Uh...well. About that.
Austin (as Nash): Yes?
Jack (as Carly): [laughs nervously] Uh...this isn’t all of it, Nash.
Austin (as Nash): [hushed] What do you mean, not all of it? We need them all.
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, no, I know we need them all, Nash. But, uh, [chuckles] I would have had to have brought a much bigger bag, Nash!
[“Hard Luck” begins playing]
Jack (as Carly): You know, I've been thinking. $500,000 is a lot of money.
Art (as Herc): Uh, it sure is. More money than I think I've ever seen.
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, so you probably wouldn’t miss a small amount of it, would you?
[cut to another scene]
Art (as Herc): Yeah, I have a lot of reservations too.
Ali (as Judy): Do—
Art (as Herc): Oh, wait, you meant, and I meant… [Ali chuckles]
Ali (as Judy): I mean there’s a lot of people coming into the casino tomorrow.
Art (as Herc): Yeah, whereas I meant I'm having second thoughts on this.
Ali (as Judy): Oh.
Art (as Herc): I don’t know if we need to shorten up some odds, or if we need to just maybe take it off.
[cut to another scene]
Keith (as Jackie): Are you up for this? This is big.
Ali (as Judy): I'm up for anything.
Keith (as Jackie): This is your first— this’ll be your first big score. I got… [conspiratorially] what do you know about horses?
Ali (as Judy): Anything.
[cut to another scene]
Austin (as Nash): Wait, it’s called Cinnamon Crisco?
Keith (as Jackie): Cinnamon Crisco.
Austin (as Nash): Oh, you should have just led with the name, actually! [chuckles] I change— I take it all back! I'm gonna go all in on Cinnamon Crisco.
Keith (as Jackie): Go— I'm telling you. Go all in on Cinnamon Crisco. This. Is. A. Sure. Thing.
[cut to another scene]
Austin (as Nash): Alright, Carly. I just need you to trust me and follow my instincts, here.
Jack (as Carly): What are we doing?
Austin (as Nash): [sighs] You trust this guy, right? This guy, uh, Herc? He’s a bookie or something, right?
Jack (as Carly): Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.
Austin (as Nash): I'm about to make us both a lot of money.
Jack (as Carly): Oh!
[cut to another scene]
Art (as Herc): Honestly, you coulda gotten a much longer odds on that race if you’d waited a few hours. People— hard money is coming in on the horse that’s gonna win, which isn’t the one that you let your brother bet on!
Jack (as Carly): I'm sorry?
[cut to another scene]
Keith (as Jackie): [hushed] How much did he put down?
Art (as Herc): [hushed] He put half a million dollars down.
Keith (as Jackie): [laughs with schadenfreude]
Art (as Herc): In stolen casino chips.
Keith (as Jackie): [laughs harder] Oh no!
[cut to another scene]
Ali (as Judy): We have a problem.
Keith (as Jackie): Uh...oh, yeah, okay.
Ali (as Judy): They called me, and they said he was sick.
Keith (as Jackie): Wait, who’s sick?
Ali (as Judy): The horse, Jackie!
[cut to another scene]
Keith (as Jackie): 4 p.m. race. Cinnamon Crisco. It’s a sure thing, trust me.
Austin (as Leon): Jacob Jackie. This is Cinnamon Crisco. [Austin chuckles] It’s sick.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah, and, I have— it’s a sure thing. Trust me.
Austin (as Leon): I'm petting Cinnamon Crisco.
Keith (as Jackie): [annoyed and angry] Why do you know? Did Judy fuckin’ tell you what horse this was?
[cut to another scene]
Austin (as Nash): What are we...we’re talkin’ a substantial investment.
Jack (as mother): Yes, son.
Austin (as Nash): Um...yeah. Yeah. I'll, uh...you know what? It’s great timing actually. Because I have this opportunity right now, so. This helps me. This actually helps me. This actually...this is perfect, Ma. This is...you know what, I needed a little bit of a...I needed...this is perfect. Thank you so much.
Austin: Welcome to Friends at the Table, an actual play podcast focused on critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, and fun interaction between good friends. I am your host Austin Walker. Joining me today, Jack de Quidt.
Jack: Hi. You can find me on Twitter @notquitereal or buy any of the music featured on the show at notquitereal.bandcamp.com.
Austin: Art Martinez-Tebbel.
Art: Hi. You can find me on Twitter @atebbel, full stop.
Austin: Keith Carberry.
Keith: [like a game show contestant] Wow, pleasure to be here, Austin. You can find me on Twitter @keithjcarberry and on YouTube at, uh...youtube.com/runbutton.
Austin: Great—
Keith: Sorry, I'm a little nervous.
Austin: Oh, well, you know what? Great to— glad to have you here, Keith. Don’t be nervous. Everybody does at least once. Uh, Ali Acampora, also joining us. Up— step up to the stage! [Keith chuckles]
Ali: Um, hi. Hi. My name is Alicia Acampora. [chuckles] You can find me over @Ali_west on twitter.com. And you can find the show over @friends_table. Go check it out.
Austin: Go check it out. [someone starts clapping enthusiastically] Go check it out. I guess by the time— whoo! [more cheers, applause, and laughter] Good answer! Good answer! That’s a different thing. I cannot stop watching Steve Harvey—
Jack: Oh, it’s so good. [Keith and Jack laugh]
Austin: Not know what Fortnite is. That clip is from like January or something but I don’t care.
Jack: It’s dropping with the boys.
Austin: [amused] Dropping with the boys. So. Last time we played, we went around the table a couple times. We did the first full act, or the first...I mean, we recorded a couple of times already. You know, peek behind the curtain. This is our third recording. I have no idea what these episodes look like. But, where we left off was what? We, uh…
Ali: We had just done the Tilt.
Austin: We did the Tilt.
Ali: And then you had had a scene...
Austin: And I did a scene where my mom called me.
Ali: Where your mom showed up here.
Austin: Yes.
Keith: And that was the order, too. It’s definitely how we did it. [Austin chuckles]
Ali: [chuckles] So, I—
Austin: Yes.
Ali: Believe that it’s Jack’s turn.
Austin: That’s right. The last shot from my thing was someone showing up. Me seeing someone. I don't think it was my mom, because she specifically said that she was in the other city. She was in a different city and the weather was bad there. So this was like some sort of...I think it was like someone in a suit, but we didn’t see their face.
Ali: Mmm.
Keith: It was also implied that she was in the future.
Austin: Was that implied?
Keith: Yes.
Austin: Jack?
Jack: I don't know if it was implied. I think she was just being scary. I think she was basically just— I think it was like a time difference thing. She was being like—
Austin: Oh.
Jack: “Oh, it’s technically tomorrow for me where it is, so you [Austin: yeah] technically opened the casino.”
Keith: Oh, okay.
Austin: Yeah, I see what you’re saying. Yeah, weird ominous bullshit. Surreal, yeah, gotcha.
Keith: I did think that that’s what it was at first, but then I thought that it was the other thing. The—
Austin: You thought it was time travel.
Jack: I mean, who knows, honestly?
Austin: Who knows! We’ll find out. That’s what we’re doing here. In Fiasco, in Bluff City. So, it is Jack’s turn. Jack, Carlotta “Carly” “Good Job” Nebraska, do you want to establish or resolve a scene?
Jack: I will resolve a scene.
Austin: Okay. Does anyone have a scene for Carly?
Jack: Bearing in mind that we know that someone from another city has arrived in the penthouse.
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Jack: And something precious is on fire.
Austin: Mmm!
Jack: That we got from the Tilt.
Austin: Right. Those are the two Tilts. It was “A neighbor wanders in” and “Something precious is on fire.” [sighs] God, does anyone have an idea for a scene for Carly? What was the last thing Carly was doing, in terms of— what’s on Carly’s plate at this point? In fact, just really quick, a thing I should just— I should just say out loud, is that we are in the second act. I have one scene left. Jack has two scenes. Everybody else has two scenes left. Now is the time to go full speed ahead with any sort of nonsense. If you want a chase, if you want a standoff, if you want like high drama and spectacle, Act Two is the place to do it, because there is no Act Three.
Jack: Mm-hmm.
Art: Okay!
Austin: So. In American lives. That’s how that quote goes, right?
Art: I'm not entirely sure how to get Carly into this scene, but I have a scene idea [Austin makes amused sound] that I just need to talk about out loud.
Austin: Sure.
Art: I guess I know how to get Carly into this scene. It’s hard, we might need to back up a little bit.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: I think I have like the middle of the scene. I want Nash and Carly driving the van full of chips. [Jack chuckles] And I want that van to be on fire.
Austin: Okay. I have a hard—
Art: Full-on, Grand Theft Auto about to blow up fire.
Austin: I have a perfect cut. Ready?
Jack: Okay. Yeah.
Austin: Ding! The elevator door opens. A song starts playing. “Mr. Sandman” starts playing. Something, you know what I mean? Or something from the 70s probably about a bad person starts playing. I know that “Mr. Sandman” isn’t about a bad person. I know that it’s about...it’s about a good person. Or, it’s about a person who’s...hot?
Keith: It’s about wishing for a good dream.
Austin: I thought it was about like...wanting—
Art: It’s wishing for a hot person, yeah.
Austin: Yeah. Isn’t it like about wanting to get laid?
Keith: I thought it was about having—
Art: Yes.
Ali: [jokingly disdainful] Aren’t they all?
Keith: About having a dream of getting laid.
Austin: It could be both. You know what? It could be both? Anyway—
Keith: Oh, “bring me a dream.” Oh, the man is the dream.
Austin: [singing] “Bring me a dream, ba ba ba ba!”
Keith: “Give me a dream, make him the cutest that I've ever seen.”
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keith: “Give him the word that I'm not a rover, then tell him that his lonesome nights are over.” I don't know what that means.
Austin: Anyway.
Jack: You’re not going anywhere. He’s gonna be with you now.
Keith: “I’m not a rover.” Oh, I'm not moving around. Got it. [Austin chuckles]
Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keith: I thought it was a red rover joke. Like, red rover, red rover, send my handsome—
Austin: It’s not.
Keith: —dream man over?
Ali: [doubtful] Mmm…
Austin: Wasn’t that. So. Uh. That happens. Door opens. My face goes up, sees a person. We, the screen— the viewer at home doesn’t see it. And then, we hear the ding of the elevator again. The screen cuts to black, we hear the ding of an elevator again, then we hear me shouting:
Austin (as Nash): [urgently] This exit! This exit! Carly, turn right now!
Austin: And it— the—
Jack: Footsteps, like—
Austin: Yeah. Well, no.
Jack: Running feet.
Austin: It’s not even that. It’s just— we’re in the van. We’re in a van with the chips. The van is on fire. [Jack laughs] We are like going down the expressway further into the county, away from Bluff City proper. We don’t see, at this moment— maybe eventually we’ll get a flashback here and see what has happened. But, we are like driving down the highway through the marshland, basically going west, away from the sea and towards the mainland. And someone is behind us and is like slamming a car into the back of this slow fucking van.
Jack (as Carly): Nash, what did you do?
Austin (as Nash): What did I do? I didn’t do anything! Carly.
Jack (as Carly): Is this who I think it is?
Austin (as Nash): Yes!
Jack (as Carly): What does Dad have to do with any of this?
Austin (as Nash): Mom called. She…
Jack (as Carly): [incredulous] She called? You didn’t tell me?
Austin (as Nash): W— This is the first time we’re— right here. [urgently] Turn right, turn right, turn right, turn right!
Jack: Indicator sign. [Austin chuckles]
Austin (as Nash): [stressed sound] [Art laughs]
Jack (as Carly): Did she ask about me? [Austin chuckles]
Austin (as Nash): Did she ask? Uh, I told her you were doing great. I told her we were working on a thing together. She needs a lot of money.
Jack (as Carly): Wh— okay. Well, what— uh, oh jesus. Um… [chuckles nervously] Okay, Nash, uh, we don’t...you’re gonna give this all, right, to Herc?
Austin (as Nash): [scoffs uncertainly] Right now, what we need to do is get somewhere safe, away from...that. And from there, we can figure out who I'm giving what to. I just have to keep telling myself: it’s a sure thing. Cinnamon Crisco.
Jack (as Carly): Okay. Well—
Austin: And I start to calm down.
Austin (as Nash): Cinnamon Crisco. Sure thing.
Jack (as Carly): [nervously] Ok— huh. Okay.
Jack: Just like, tight on Carly’s eyes. [Austin laughs] Looking in the mirror. Behind her, the person driving the car behind, is just holding their hand on the horn. Just this like awful doppler sound of the horn—
Austin: [chuckles] Ah, great.
Jack: —approaching. It’s not even like individual strokes. It’s just this sound as the car is coming up.
Jack (as Carly): Nash. What if we just pull over and we just— I mean. The fire? I don't know how much longer we can go for. The chips aren’t going to be on fire, so that’s good. We pull over. We make some kind of deal. You know how these people are.
Austin (as Nash): [sighs] Yeah. Just a deal. Okay. Yeah.
Jack (as Carly): You think this is worth us getting killed for?
Austin (as Nash): [sighs] Listen. Mom said that she could get a controlling stock in...the business. You know what that would mean.
Jack (as Carly): Alright. Okay. So, we get— we— so, we have a choice, right? About which parent we disappoint right now, okay? If we keep going, we get to… [laughs nervously] Okay, so we—
Austin: Slam! Slam! Slam!
Jack (as Carly): I'm stopping the car. I'm stopping the car.
Jack: And I just like pull the handbrake, and the car kind of fishtails. [Austin chuckles] And the car behind us like runs into us again.
Austin: God.
Jack: Yeah, and—
Austin: It’s like a big sedan or something, right?
Jack: Yeah, it’s—
Austin: Or is it something else? Is it a big truck? Like, what is the car that’s chasing us in this scene?
Jack: It’s...oh, it’s just like a fancy black sedan.
Austin: Okay.
Jack: I mean, I think it’s similar to the one that we saw like Leslie Strada driving.
Austin: Yes, okay.
Keith: Like a Lincoln? Like a…
Austin: Like a towncar.
Jack: Yeah, not necessarily in the sense that I'm trying to draw a parallel with the Concern or anything—
Austin: No, no.
Jack: But more that like, this is a car that a certain sort of person thinks is going to make a statement of some kind?
Austin: And also remember that this is a 70s like town car sedan, which means it’s super boxy.
Jack: Yeah.
Austin: Like, yeah.
Keith: Longest car ever produced in America.
Austin: It’s like a boat. Yeah. [chuckles]
Keith: It’s—
Jack: And one of its tires has blown, but whoever’s been driving it has just kind of kept going. Hand on the horn, tire burst.
Austin: And so we pull over?
Jack: Yeah.
Austin: And you do the thing, and...is that the end of this scene, or do we...keep going?
Jack: Do we zoom in on a deal? Because Carly’s kind of in a weird place right now, where, as far as Carly is concerned, the money is worthless. [chuckles]
Austin: Right.
Jack: Oh, it’s worth— it has worth if—
Keith: It’s worth a lot to you if your brother blows it.
Jack: If I can persuade you— yes. If I can persuade you to give it to Herc…
Austin: Right.
Jack: I get money.
Art: Yeah.
Austin: You get money.
Keith: That’s what it’s for, right?
Jack: But the stakes on that are really—
Austin: I also, as a reminder, now have both— this van has all of the chips plus also whatever I got out of that safe.
Jack: The like bonds and everything. Yeah.
Austin: All the bonds, all the stocks I have, all the— whatever, all the things that I— the mortgage, or the, you know, whatever the, um...what do you call it when you own a thing? [Austin and Jack chuckle] Couldn’t be me! I used to have a car.
Keith: Possessions?
Austin: No—
Jack: Certificates?
Austin: Like a thing that’s like, I own this car.
Keith: Debt.
Austin: There’s a specific word for that?
Keith: Debt?
Austin: Yeah, debt, that’s—
Art: Title.
Austin: A title.
Keith: Title.
Austin: It’s like, my car’s title. Exactly. Et cetera. I have all that shit.
Austin (as Nash): Alright. What sort of deal are we gonna make?
Jack (as Carly): I don't know, the one that means that he doesn’t kill us. Something like that.
Jack: Um...does anybody want to play a hitman from another city? [chuckles]
Keith: I can do hitman.
Austin: I have a suggestion for who—
Art: Keith is who I was hoping would say yes. [chuckles]
Keith: Okay.
Austin: Yeah, okay. Good.
Jack (as Carly): Uh, we’re coming out!
Jack: And I just like wave a hand out of the window.
Keith: I don’t say anything. Yet.
Austin: Alright. I open the door, slowly. I grab the duffel bag from the backseat, and I just like chuck it out the wind— out the door. Onto the ground, that way it’s out there first. You can hear like the—
[0:14:53]
Jack: Is this the bag containing chips?
Austin: Oh, yeah.
Jack: My—
Austin: You can hear the like, click click click click click of the chips, and some of them overflow out of the duffel. And like this— I go:
Austin (as Nash): Same time, Carly?
Jack (as Carly): Yeah. Okay. We’re just, uh—
Austin (as Nash): Alright.
Jack (as Carly): You know, uh...we can just play it as it comes. Play it as it comes.
Austin (as Nash): Follow your lead.
Austin: Right foot out. Left foot out. Hands up in the air. [exhales]
Jack (as Carly): Okay, we’re prepared to talk!
Keith (as hitman): Okay, what do you got?
Jack (as Carly): We have, uh, $500,000 in casino chips. And we have, uh…
Austin (as Nash): Everything else.
Jack (as Carly): [overlapping] What’s in that—
Austin (as Nash): [tired] We got...you want a car? What do you want.
Keith (as hitman): What do you got?
Austin (as Nash): You want my house? I got a house.
Keith (as hitman): Yeah. Yeah! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chips, car, house. Sure, yeah.
Jack (as Carly): Did Dad send you?
Keith (as hitman): Patient...confidentiality. [Austin chuckles]
Jack (as Carly): I think we’ve met. I mean, I've seen you around the place.
Keith (as hitman): Sure, I can admit to that. [Austin chuckles]
Austin (as Nash): Here— I'm just gonna walk over and hand you, uh, this stuff.
Austin: It’s like a smaller bag with some stuff in it.
Keith (as hitman): What kind of stuff?
Jack (as Carly): Actually, wait—
Keith (as hitman): Whoa, whoa, whoa. What kind of stuff? Open it.
Austin (as Nash): This is— okay.
Austin: It’s like a...it’s like a...tote bag, basically, that has like the paperwork in it for the bonds and all— it’s all of my personal stuff.
Keith (as hitman): Bearer bonds?
Austin (as Nash): Bearer bonds.
Keith (as hitman): That’s great. I love that.
Austin (as Nash): They’re very— [Austin chuckles] Great investment. Great investment.
Jack: I think something is dawning on Carly.
Austin: Uh huh?
Jack (as Carly): Uh, hey...were you trying to kill us?
Keith (as hitman): Uh…
Keith: Hold on. What was dawning on Carly?
Jack: Well—
Austin: It’s a hitman.
Jack: Yeah, but like...sent by our dad? Is that a—
Keith (as hitman): I can’t say yes or no to that.
Jack (as Carly): So, you’re not gonna tell us if you’re going to kill us or not?
Keith (as hitman): I guess it—
Austin (as Nash): One of us’ll know, probably, if you start to. So, just tell us now.
Keith (as hitman): I mean, I guess it depends on what’s in the other bag.
Austin (as Nash): One bag is chips. I really— please don’t take the chips. But take everything in this bag.
Keith (as hitman): Everything in this bag.
Austin (as Nash): This bag is good. This bag— again, house, bearer bonds. I got a title for a Corvette in there. There’s a little boat. And there’s some land out of town. You just let my sister and I go. And you tell my dad we cut town, you couldn’t find us.
Keith (as hitman): Alright. Can I have— I want your pagers. And I want, um...geez.
Jack: As he pauses, Carly unclips the pager from the lapel of her coat and extends her hand, and the van explodes into a fireball behind her. [Austin chuckles, Keith cackles] And her hair just like is caught by the— it’s just like boomf, up around her face in the explosion. I think Nash kind of like half turns to see it—
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: And loses one of his eyebrows.
Austin: Yeah. [chuckles] [imitating explosion] Whoo!
Jack: Yeah, and I think that like the hitman’s car like rocks on its… [Austin makes amused sound] rocks on its things. Has anybody given me a dice?
Keith: No, you—
Austin: You chose to resolve.
Keith: Yeah, you take your own die.
Jack: Oh, shit! Okay. [laughs]
Austin: Uh huh.
Jack: Okay. [exhales thoughtfully]
Austin: How bad do you want it to be, if you go bad? [Jack chuckles] You can also go good, but.
Jack: I don’t want it to go good. I feel like this is— I feel like we got pulled over by a hitman—
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: And then the van containing all the money exploded?
Austin: Yeah. Well, the, eh— I pulled the money out right away. That was the first thing I did. [laughs]
Keith: That’s true. You did save, technically, all the money.
Austin: All the chips. I have a proposition here.
Jack: Okay.
Austin: And if you want to go bad, this is bad. Which is: the like ringing in my ears, ringing in both of our ears, ringing in the audience’s ears. Nash, one eyebrow, face burned, charges the gunman. [Jack laughs] And gets shot in the stomach. But like, does a Kevin Nash overhand smash. Doesn’t do the jackknife powerbomb, but you know, it’s like… [Ali laughs] Could’ve!
Keith: And everybody knew that he could’ve.
Austin: Actually, he maybe does. The Jackknife is so sloppy that it’s kind of a great cinematic body slam. Like, just gets him up over my— get him up over my head, and just kind of loosely slam this hitman down on the hood of his Lincoln town car. you know, denting it. And then I drop to a knee, and I just go:
Austin (as Nash): [struggling] Carly, get the chips. Carly, get the chips! [Jack laughs]
Austin: And I pick up the guy’s gun, and I—
Keith: Do you take the bag of stuff? Do you take the stuff back?
Austin: I...mmm, I'm of two minds. Do we— either yes, or it caught fire. [chuckles]
Keith: Well, I was standing far enough away. I don’t think it— if it was in my hands.
Austin: Right. Fair, fair, fair. Yeah.
Keith: So...I think that it’s...you’ve either gotta go full good or full bad.
Austin: Oh, it’s full bad.
Keith: Is it full bad?
Austin: I think it’s full bad.
Keith: You get the money.
Austin: No, but I'm dying.
Jack: We get—
Austin: I got shot in the chest..
Keith: Oh, yeah, that’s fair. That’s fair.
Austin: And now, and now, we actually get to the thing that was supposed to be our valuable thing. A cool half million in blood-stained casino chips.
Jack: Yeah. Except, except, we get this...we get this...it’s an overhead shot of like looking down on the road with a field on either side of it.
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Jack: The burning van in the middle. And going through one field, the kind of corn moving, we see Nash and Carly, Carly kind of like supporting Nash. And dragging behind her, basically like a santa sack of casino chips. [Austin and Jack chuckle] 'Cause the duffel bag only stored about $3,000.
Austin: Oh, yeah.
Jack: Like, just like some—
Austin: No, I thought that was the...I thought it was like your personal bag.
Jack: Oh, sure, okay.
Austin: Right.
Jack: This is like—
Austin: I'm thinking like a—
Jack: This is like pulled out from the wreckage. This is just like...
Austin: Yeah. I was talking about the like...the thing that I threw out the door was the big duffel bag. Like, the military-sized duffel bag.
Jack: Yes. Yes.
Austin: So, yeah.
Jack: Just impossibly heavy. And then moving through the other field, having regained consciousness, his gun out as though he is following—
Austin: Fuck.
Jack: You know, the trail of people.
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jack: But going on the other side of the road is the hitman.
Austin: Great. Good. [chuckles]
Jack: So I am gonna take this white dice.
Austin: Okay.
Jack: And I am going to give it—
Austin: No, you keep it.
Jack: No! I keep it.
Austin: It’s Act Two.
Jack: Yeah.
Austin: There you go.
Keith: Damn.
Austin: Do we get like a shot of a pager going off, but we can’t— we don’t have them anymore?
Jack: Oh, yeah. [chuckles] It’s a pager just like— oh, god. No, is it a pager in the gloved hand of the hitman?
Austin: Oh, right, they— right, right, right. That was the first thing, was like “Give me your pagers,” right?
Jack: Yeah.
Keith: Yeah, I took the pagers.
Austin: Or did that— or did the thing go off…
Keith: Uhh...
Austin: It went off while you were taking them.
Jack: I don’t wanna take—
Keith: It went off as Carly was getting her pager out.
Austin: Yeah. It’s very...it’s very good if the hitman has the pagers.
Jack: Yeah, I don’t wanna take the pager away from the hitman.
Austin: Yeah, that’s good. Alright. Art, Herc, how you doing?
Art: Great, how are you?
Austin: Uh, dying.
Art: Yeah. I'm sorry about that.
Austin: Eh.
Art: So...we’re running out of time, right?
Austin: Yeah.
Art: I have two more scenes. Jack has one.
Austin: Jack has one.
Art: What do you think our shared secret is?
Jack: I mean, there’s a way of reading it where our shared secret is the fact that we are both attempting to scam my wealthy brother out of his entire...everything.
Keith: And your parents, too.
Art: But that’s like...that’s sort of like...we started as friends bound together by a shared secret. Unless you think that we’ve been planning this for a while.
Jack: Do you have a secret in mind?
Art: I don’t. But I think...I think we need to start— we need to get one. I don't know. It’s just something to think about.
Jack: Mm-hmm.
Art: But I think it’s time for the camera to get to the racetrack. Or maybe it’s just the...or maybe it’s at the casino, 'cause the casino’s opening, right?
Austin: Casino would still be open. This is now like the middle of the night, the night before.
Art: Oh, it’s the middle of the night.
Austin: Yeah. That’s where we— that’s where we are still.
Art: Hmm. I mean, I guess...I could move the time up a little bit. It could be like dawn.
Austin: Yeah, totally.
Art: At the casino. Herc is like hanging around, still like not doing anything but also not being bothered by anyone. Um...I'm trying to like...I guess I'm trying to figure out what the action in this scene is. You know, are more people coming to the casino? I mean, are nefarious people coming to the casino? Is it like…
Austin: Yeah, you can have a fairly light scene, right? You can have like a narrated scene of you watching people show up or prepping for something or waiting for someone. And you can talk about what the emotional content of that scene is, without it becoming like a big long sequence, if you want.
Art: Sure, I'm just trying to think like...I'm just trying to figure out where the story goes. But yeah, I guess, you know, the chips are starting to come out. And they’re starting to like load them into the tables, you know how like a—
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Art: A gaming table will have those rows of chips with like the little dividers to ease in counting at the end of the day. And everything’s all fresh and brilliant, and the felt is green, and, you know, the pit bosses are walking the pits. And it’s Herc like walking through the gambling floor and then like up to the bars where the, you know, all the crystal is finally being unpacked, and the...
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Art: People are testing the draft lines, and...you know, I guess the spirits are probably already up on the wall, but like, you know, bartenders walking through their mise en place before things get going. And then like flowing through to the front where like the greeters are going to be. And there’s like little taped Xs on the floor, because they haven’t really gone through the final run thrus on ppls final spots, because the floors were being installed as late as yesterday. [Austin laughs] And Herc like goes to the elevator and pushes the button for the Crow's Nest, and it goes up. And it’s a glass elevator, and you see this like rising shot of the...the cityscape of Bluff City, you know, the...there’s a word that I can't find right now. But you see the whole city as he starts to get higher and higher and higher. And, you know, and Herc’s like panning, you know, from the ocean to the boardwalk. And then like right before— right as you hear the ding of the elevator, you see the fire of that explosion.
Austin: Mmm.
Art: Because a burning van [Austin makes amused sound] in very little light is very obvious.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: [chuckles] But I mean, it doesn’t really...you know, Herc gives like a moment of concern, but like, he doesn’t know. He doesn’t...
Austin: Yeah.
Art: You can’t recognize the van. It’s just something on fire in the distance.
Austin: “Huh.”
Art: Yeah.
Art (as Herc): Huh. Someone’s having a bad night.
Austin: [laughs] Great.
Art: And like walks off the elevator into nothing. Like, the scene doesn’t keep going.
Austin: What, um— wait, did someone just give you a die?
Art: No.
Austin: No.
Art: These are the three dice I've already had.
Austin: Oh, okay. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. One of us needs to resolve that. I'm happy to be the person who gives you a positive die for that.
Art: Oh, I guess I could— and I someone wants to give me a negative die, I could keep narrating and things could get worse here.
Austin: Spin it, yeah. But I think that’s a totally fine way of being like, welp, Herc is Herc.
Art: And I think it’s like— it’s setting up our final— it’s putting pieces in place for final sequences.
Austin: For the final act. Yeah, exactly. Alright, Judy. Do you want to resolve a scene or establish one?
Ali: Um...I could do either, I guess, if anybody has like a scene idea in mind. But I'm also fine to think through...what the best scene for right now would be.
Austin: That horse should be in the scene. [chuckles]
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: I want a horse.
Ali: Uh huh. Uh huh. God, did we decide what we were doing with that horse?
Keith: No. I have an idea. Here’s what I think.
Ali: Mm-hmm.
Keith (as Jackie): Who’s gonna go looking for a missing horse— first of all. They don’t know the horse is missing. But if they did, who would go looking for the horse at the track?
Ali (as Judy): Wh— b— [Ali chuckles]
Keith (as Jackie): Let’s just bring it back. We’ll put it with the other horses that aren’t racing.
Ali (as Judy): But the...the person we stole the horse from is gonna...know.
Keith (as Jackie): No. Jockeys don’t care about— and, you know. I picked a ringer. Not a ringer for winning, a ringer for looking like the horse I stole.
Ali: [laughs] Okay, wait. Let me...let me...god. I was trying to think of a horse transportation scene?
Austin: That would also be good. [Ali laughs]
[0:30:01]
Jack: Oh, damn. A horse transportation scene could coincide with a rescue.
Austin: Who’s being rescued?
Jack: You and me!
Austin: By who?
Jack: The horse transporters! By— [Ali laughs]
Austin: They don’t know where we are! Or care about us!
Art: The Horse Transporter’s my favorite Jason Statham movie. [Austin, Keith, and Ali laugh]
Austin: Ah, yes. Horse and Shaw.
Ali: It could be— [Ali and Austin laugh]
Austin: [laughing] It’s just a big horse!
Keith: That horse is family. [Ali and Austin continue laughing]
Ali: It could be a situation where like, right place right time.
Austin: It could be that. That is great.
Ali: We didn’t know that we had to go across town to deliver this horse, and we happen to run into…
Austin: Right. It’s us like… [Austin and Ali laugh] The opening shot is literally what Keith was just saying before but in character. Of like, I don’t think anyone’s gonna come looking for this horse. We don’t have to hide it in a particularly good place.
Keith: Oh, I was already doing that in character.
Austin: Okay, good. [Ali laughs] I thought so. It seemed like Jackie’s voice. But just like, in a...you know, so it’s almost as if farmland becomes the marshes. And there’s like a shot of like a little dock, like a bayside dock, that has like a shed next to it, where there is a boat. And now there is a horse. I am now establishing a scene for you, Ali. And inside are Jackie and Judy and a horse. [chuckles] A sick horse. Who is now standing next to a boat. And the two of you are debating whether or not this is a good enough place to hide a horse. Do you know whose barn— not barn. Whose like dock this is? Or is this just a dock you knew would have room for a horse?
Keith: Well, you go to the docks, there’s, you know. There’s one bound to be empty.
Austin: I think it’s like a personal. I think it’s like a...like, you know, one little— not even a speedboat. Like a little, uh...what are they called? What are the small boats that just have like an outboard motor?
Keith: A dinghy?
Austin: Like a dinghy. There’s like a dinghy in the bay, and then just like a little shed. And yeah, I think maybe that is where we open. And then at some point, I think, Carly and I can stumble into this scene.
Keith (as Jackie): We can’t put it— just leave it on a boat. It got sick on a boat. This thing’s seasick.
Ali (as Judy): We just need to get it far away from town. And also, maybe this is a more secure boat.
Keith (as Jackie): It’s a...it’s…
Austin: [chuckles] It’s a tiny dinghy.
Keith (as Jackie): It’s on— it’s just standing— it looks like it’s standing on the water. It’s the most— [Austin chuckles] it’s attracting more attention than if we were riding it through town.
Ali (as Judy): Well, what are we gonna do, Jackie? We’re just gonna leave it in the truck that we drove it here in?
Keith (as Jackie): I didn’t say that was a better idea, just that this is a bad one.
Ali (as Judy): Well, you didn’t suggest a better place to put the horse, Jackie.
Keith (as Jackie): I did. I said we bring it back to the racetrack.
Ali (as Judy): That wasn’t a better idea. [Austin laughs]
Keith (as Jackie): Who would look for a missing horse at the track it’s missing from?
Ali (as Judy): Someone who lost a horse!
Keith (as Jackie): They don’t know it’s lost. As far as anyone at that racetrack is concerned, this is just some rando sick horse.
Ali (as Judy): [sighs]
Austin: I think at that point is when Carly and Nash stumble through some like tall marsh, um...leaves.
Jack: Blood everywhere.
Keith: Who’s Tall Marsha?
Austin: What— yeah, they stumble through Tall Marsha. That’s it. What’s the word I'm looking for? Why am I blanking—
Jack: Bulrushes?
Austin: What?
Jack: Bulrushes?
Austin: [fascinated] What are bulrushes?
Keith: They’re those cartoon plants that go on water.
Austin: Oh, you call those bulrushes. Interesting. That’s a cool word. Uh, yeah. Okay.
Keith: I think we call them cattails.
Jack: What do you call them?
Austin: We call them cattails.
Jack: Cattails.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Oh, yeah.
Austin: But I was thinking even taller than that. But yeah, no, that totally works, actually. And, yeah, it’s the two of us. I am bleeding and holding a hand tight around my stomach. [Ali chuckles] It’s bad.
Ali: Yeah, I think like Judy’s just nagging Jackie, 'cause that’s what she does I guess. And then she just like looks past him, and then just says:
Ali (as Judy): [concerned] Nashton, are you bleeding?
Austin (as Nash): I'm bleeding. I'm bl— aah, I'm bleedin’ pretty bad.
Keith (as Jackie): Ah, hey, Nash! Ah, that’s…
Ali (as Judy): Jackie, go help him! Jackie, go help him.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah, yeah, that’s real— that really sucks, huh?
Austin (as Nash): [groans in pain]
Keith (as Jackie): Oh boy, what’s that you got? [Ali and Austin chuckle]
Austin (as Nash): Some chips.
Keith (as Jackie): What is all that? That’s the chips?
Austin (as Nash): That’s the chips.
Keith (as Jackie): Oh, Herc didn’t take that up front?
Austin (as Nash): [in pain] And my sister. Hey, Jackie, you ever meet my sister? This is my sister Carly, she’s… [mumbles] Good Job, Carly.
Jack (as Carly): Hi, we need an ambulance.
Austin (as Nash): [groans in pain]
Keith (as Jackie): Sure, I'll—
Ali (as Judy): We have a— we have a van. It’s big enough for a horse, so I think it can help. Um.
Austin (as Nash): [groans in pain]
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah, okay. So, I guess we’re putting the horse back in the van, huh?
Austin (as Nash): Doctor says I have a heart the size of a horse.
Jack (as Carly): Don’t talk. Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Austin (as Nash): So one day, it’s gonna be an issue. He says I've gotta do a surgery probably.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah, probably.
Jack (as Carly): Okay—
Keith (as Jackie): Oh! Hey, is it bad to take you to a regular hospital? Are you gonna be okay, or are you gonna be like arrested for a crime there?
Jack (as Carly): He’s gonna be fine. No, he’s gonna be—
Austin (as Nash): Oh, I thought you were making like vet joke. Like, oh, 'cause your heart is so big.
Keith (as Jackie): No, no.
Austin (as Nash): You have to go to a vet.
Keith (as Jackie): I was implying, though, that maybe we should take you to a vet. 'Cause they’re not obligated— you grease their palms, they’re not obligated to tell anybody that they found a guy with a gunshot wound.
Austin (as Nash): Just get me— just get me—
Keith (as Jackie): You go to the— hey.
Austin (as Nash): Just get me someone with fuckin’ painkillers. [Austin and Ali chuckle]
Keith (as Jackie): Okay. You go to the—
Austin (as Nash): Okay?
Keith (as Jackie): I'm just saying, you go to the hospital—
Austin (as Nash): [groans in frustration]
Keith (as Jackie): And they are obligated to tell the police that someone has been shot.
Austin (as Nash): Yeah, me. I have been shot.
Keith (as Jackie): Right, just didn’t know if that was gonna be a problem for you, buddy, huh?
Austin (as Nash): [faintly] Just get me… [groans]
Keith (as Jackie): Okay, hospital. Regular hospital. [loudly] Ey, Judy, we’re gonna go to the regular hospital! [Ali chuckles]
Austin: [chuckles] You say, loudly. [Keith laughs] The camera panning upwards and revealing more of the, you know, the cattails moving in the distance. More of the marshes moving in the distance, as if someone maybe heard you shout that.
Ali (as Judy): Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, Nash, you can’t call out of work today. [Keith laughs loudly, Austin chuckles]
Austin (as Nash): Well, you’re exactly right. Oh, you’re exactly right, Judy.
Jack (as Carly): What are you saying? He has to— [chuckles nervously] I think there’s probably a bullet still inside him. Judy—
Austin (as Nash): No, I think it— I think it...went right through, I think. I hope.
Jack (as Carly): Shh. Don’t talk.
Keith (as Jackie): Alright, well, hold on. But, Nash, what did I always tell you, huh? Delegate. [slowly] Delegate.
Austin (as Nash): Don’t— oh, okay. I thought you were gonna—
Keith (as Jackie): What did you think that I always told you?
Austin (as Nash): Don’t ever order steak at a diner.
Keith (as Jackie): I ne— did I say that?
Austin (as Nash): Yeah.
Keith (as Jackie): That’s insane for me to have said. I take it back. [Austin chuckles] That’s a loss leader. They give you a better steak than what you’re paying for at a diner.
Austin (as Nash): That’s what I always thought.
Keith (as Jackie): It’s not the best, but it’s okay.
Austin (as Nash): It’s steak.
Keith (as Jackie): It’s steak! With an egg, usually. Do you— we should go to the hospital. [Austin chuckles]
Jack (as Carly): Judy. Can you just come over here a second? Jackie, make sure that Nash is...don’t let him, you know, lose consciousness.
Keith (as Jackie): Okay.
Austin (as Nash): I'm just gonna lay down, uh.
Keith (as Jackie): Hey, hey! [claps hands twice] Don’t lay down!
Austin (as Nash): You just let me know when we get to the hospital.
Keith (as Jackie): [claps twice] Hey!
Austin (as Nash): [groans]
Keith (as Jackie): Don’t lay down! [claps twice] You’re not supposed to shut your eyes. [claps three times]
Austin (as Nash): Eh, I'm up. I'm up, I'm up.
Keith (as Jackie): Okay. [claps twice]
Ali (as Judy): Did you need something?
Jack (as Carly): [hushed] Okay. Right. I don't know if you spoke to...Herc and I... [Austin chuckles] I know you’re friends with Herc.
Ali (as Judy): Mmm.
Jack (as Carly): Is that fair?
Ali (as Judy): Yeah. We’re in business together.
Jack (as Carly): Right. And it’s the kind of business where you kind of try and liberate people from their money. But more sort of...with more focus than regular gambling, right?
Ali (as Judy): I love to take people’s money. Um, did you need something?
Jack (as Carly): Yes. So, uh...I was gonna try and scam my brother, with you and Herc. [stammers] I don't know if Herc explained to you. All of this money that we’re carrying, we were gonna put on Cinnamon Crisco, and then he was gonna lose big, and then I was gonna be the third person in the split, right? Herc might have mentioned a three-person payout? [Austin chuckles softly] I was number three.
Ali (as Judy): I wasn’t...I've been in charge of the horses.
Ali: And she gestures towards the horse. [Keith and Ali laugh]
Austin: [imitates horse]
Ali (as Judy): I didn’t know— I was taking my bets today, when the casino opened.
Jack (as Carly): Okay, what I mean to say is...I know we all have a lot of money riding on this, but we can’t go through with it. Not with Nash like this.
Ali (as Judy): Whatever’s going on between you and your brother’s money doesn’t have anything to do with me.
Jack: There’s just like a gunshot in the distance. [multiple people laugh]
Austin: Caw! Caw! Birds flying in the air.
Jack (as Carly): There’s a hitman coming. [Austin laughs]
Keith (as Jackie): [shouting distantly] Oh, hey! I think there’s a hitman coming! We should go! [Ali chuckles]
Austin: I'm in the van now.
Ali (as Judy): Are we all gonna die?
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, I think we might die! Unless we like...things are far more complicated than I had previously thought, and I thought they were like really complicated. Basically, I'm now working from two perspectives here, Judy. I have realized, in my hour of need, that I don’t want to steal all this money from my brother, and also I'm afraid that we’re gonna get killed by my dad’s hitman. [Austin chuckles] Can we get in the van?
Ali (as Judy): You pulled me aside! [Austin laughs]
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, I'm telling you that it’s done, Judy! [Austin chuckles] The scam is done! I want out!
Keith: There’s a gunshot, and it hits the van. [Ali laughs]
Austin (as Nash): [groans]
Austin: Did someone resolve this for Judy, yet?
Jack: No, Ali is resolving.
Austin: Or is Judy— yeah, Judy’s resolving, yeah. Ali’s resolving.
Ali: Oh, I think I'm supposed to resolve it here, yeah.
Keith: Yeah, you resolve yourself.
Ali: Uh, I guess we get away? I give myself a...a black die? Yeah, I think Judy just says:
Ali (as Judy): [frustrated sound] This is ridiculous. I still have catering to sign for. Just get in the van! You have the money in your hand. I don't care that it’s over.
Ali: While she’s like rushing Carly into the van that still has a horse in it, I think? And Nash and Jackie. But we safely get away from approaching hitman for now, question mark?
Austin: Yeah. Sounds like it. Alright.
Ali: Do I give this to somebody or do I keep it?
Austin: All you.
Ali: Okay.
Austin: Jackie?
Keith: Alright. I am...hmm. This is tough, 'cause we— you know, the scene is already established. We are in this car. I guess we could timeskip it, but I don’t want to do that. I want to stay in the car. The van.
Austin: Yeah. That sounds good. We gotta get to this...we gotta get to this place. We gotta get to this hospital, if you’re trying to take him to the hospital, right?
Keith: Yeah. Yeah! Regular hospital.
Austin: Also, can I— because there’s four of us in this scene, can I put the hitman in Art’s control? Can I suggest that Art get to describe what the hitman is doing?
Keith: Yeah, sure.
Art: Sure.
Austin: What is the inside of this van that had a horse— is it like, is there hay in the back of it? Or like...like, what’s in the back of the—
Art: It probably doesn’t look great.
Austin: [chuckles] Yeah.
Keith: I think there’s a bale of hay, and there’s like some apples, and then some apple—
Austin: Straw. Apple cores.
Keith: There’s what appear to be apple cores.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: ‘Cause like, I've seen a van, and I've seen a horse transportation vehicle before, and they don’t look similar. [Ali laughs] So, I think a horse might fuck up a van. [chuckles]
Ali: Yeah, I...I was gonna suggest it was just like a FedEx truck—
Austin: [intrigued] Oh.
Ali: Back when I was gonna set up that scene, but. [laughs]
Austin: Yeah.
Art: No, I think that’s too...I think the horse’ll move around too much.
Austin: You need tighter—
Art: You’ll have like horse-shaped indents on the side of the…
Ali: The horse can just like sit down. Can’t horses—
Art: Horses don’t sit down.
Keith: Horses do sit down!
Ali: Don’t horses loaf? Horses have to loaf. Horses loaf.
Keith: Yeah, horses sit on their legs, yeah. They loaf.
Ali: Yeah.
Art: I don’t— I still think the momentum would move—
Austin: [laughs gleefully] Sorry, I—
Art: They don’t have a seatbelt. [Ali laughs]
Austin: Sorry to—
Keith: I am not saying this is ideal or comfortable for the horse. Just possible.
Art: But like, you would turn sharply, if you were being chased, say, by a hitman. And the horse would slide. [Ali laughs]
Keith: Yeah, I hope Nash will be okay lying next to the horse.
Austin: We didn’t put the horse— wait, is the horse back in the van?
Keith: Yeah, yeah. Horse is in the van.
Austin: Oh, okay.
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: I'm sharing the back with the horse.
Keith: Yeah. And me! [Ali laughs]
Austin: And you.
Ali: Can the both of you be like...
Austin: [groans]
Ali: Like, the horse is loafed. And then the both of you are like sitting against the horse—
Austin: Yes.
Ali: [laughing] if the horse’s torso is like...little seats in the car.
Keith: It’s double duty. You are keeping the horse in place, and the horse is putting pressure on your wound.
Austin (as Nash): [weakly] Hey. Hey. Hey, Jackie.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah.
Austin (as Nash): Jackie.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah.
Austin (as Nash): Jackie. Jackie.
Keith (as Jackie): What?
Austin (as Nash): [breathes in confusion and pain] What’s with this horse?
Keith (as Jackie): Uhh, this is...a friend’s...horse.
Austin (as Nash): Wait a second, Jackie, why do you have a horse?
Keith (as Jackie): It’s a friend’s— I'm watching it for a— I have a friend who does horses, but—
Austin (as Nash): Judy, is this your horse?
Keith (as Jackie): N—
Austin: Who’s driving? Judy is.
Ali: I think I'm driving if y'all are in the back.
Austin: Okay.
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: Yeah.
Keith (as Jackie): This is not J— I have a friend who doesn’t like to watch his pet horse when his pet horse is sick, and so I take over.
Ali (as Judy): [calling from the front of the van] Yeah, it’s my horse! Just a fun hobby, haha! [Austin laughs]
Keith (as Jackie): Okay, yes, it’s Judy’s horse. [Ali chuckles]
Jack: Carly just sitting like absolutely tight-lipped.
Austin: Ahh.
Jack: Arms crossed in front of her. Like, one hand still holding the file that contains the bonds.
Austin: Right, yeah. Also, the duffel bag is in here filled with bloody chips now too, right?
Jack: Mm-hmm!
Austin (as Nash): It’s a big horse.
Keith (as Jackie): Oh, yeah. They’re way bigger than you’d think in your head.
Austin (as Nash): I thought they’d be smaller.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah. But you’re thinking of dogs, probably.
Jack (as Carly): Is this horse fast, Jackie?
Keith (as Jackie): Um, no. It’s sick.
Austin (as Cinnamon Crisco): [sad horse sound]
Jack (as Carly): [subdued] Yeah, Nash and I were gonna go bet on a horse.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah.
Ali (as Judy): [from front of van] Nash, do you think like a horse meet and greet for the casino would be a good idea? [someone laughs]
Austin (as Nash): Oh, that’s brilliant, sweetheart. That’s fantastic. Let them rich folks pet that horse. They’ll love it. Tell ‘em it’s a real winner. Tell ‘em it’s a sure thing.
Keith (as Jackie): Uh, this is not the horse that is a sure thing. The horse that is a sure thing, I believe that Carly was mentioning, was, uh...The Count of Monte Cristo.
[0:45:15]
Jack: [laughing] Cinnamon Crisco. [Austin laughs]
Keith: Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Cinnamon Crisco .
Austin: Or the Duke of Monte Carlo, but that’s the real one that was a sure thing.
Keith: Right. The horse names I can’t get— I literally cannot get ‘em straight. Number eight.
Austin: We got a— I'm looking at ‘em.
Keith: Horse number eight.
Austin: Yeah, Cinnamon Crisco, number eight. Eight to one.
Keith: Eight to one. Eight— that’s how you remember.
Art: Back of the van gets rammed.
Austin: Mmm! [Jack laughs]
Keith (as Jackie): Whoa!
Jack: Carly is just like—
Austin: [alarmed horse noise] [Ali laughs]
Jack: Carly is just like knocked off her seat—
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: And like down to the level with Nash.
Austin (as Nash): [grunts in pain]
Jack: And says:
Jack (as Carly): Nash, have you— maybe we should change. Maybe we should change our bet. You know, seeing this horse, seeing this strong horse. [Austin chuckles] You ever think about changing, changing who you’re gonna—
Keith (as Jackie): This horse is sick. Don’t talk— don’t say stuff like that. This horse is sick and not strong. [Austin chuckles]
Austin (as Nash): I wouldn’t bet on this horse.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah. Nash isn’t a fool.
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, but because—
Keith (as Jackie): Nash has a sure thing going.
Austin (as Nash): [groans]
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, but just because like, I mean...wouldn’t it be good if we could…maybe make a little—
Austin (as Nash): Lose a bunch of money? Carly, Carly, Carly. The money is the last thing I'm worried about right now. The money is on a sure thing.
Keith (as Jackie): The money’s on a sure thing!
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, but because it’s— okay, but because the bet is in your name—
Austin (as Nash): Yeah.
Jack (as Carly): Nash, I really need you to maybe kind of give me kind of bet power of attorney, just for your little sister, just so I could…
Austin (as Nash): Bet power of attorney.
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, bet power of attorney.
Austin (as Nash): Like a situation where—
Keith (as Jackie): That’s actually not legally binding. Supreme court, 1971.
Jack (as Carly): Well, if it’s not legally binding, then I can just change your bet, right?
Austin (as Nash): Just two years ago. I can’t believe that there was just a supreme court case about this scenario. [Ali giggles]
Keith (as Jackie): There was just a supreme court. There is no bet power of attorney. It’s not—
Austin (as Nash): Really goes to show you the importance of who’s on the court.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah.
Austin (as Nash): And the importance of voting, even in a system that’s, you know, kind of disappointing all the time. Who’s in office right now? I can’t— I can’t remember.
Keith: Um…
Austin (as Nash): ‘Cause of the bleeding.
Keith (as Jackie): Is it— I think it’s Van Buren.
Austin (as Nash): Yeah, that adds up. [Austin laughs] That’s probably right. Probably Van Buren. [Ali laughs]
Keith (as Jackie): I think he’s getting a second term. I don't know.
Austin (as Nash): More like Van Bleedin’, ‘cause I'm bleedin’ over here.
Jack (as Carly): Nash, I need you to change your bet.
Austin (as Nash): You need me to— it’s not— we can deal with this...
Jack (as Carly): What if it’s not a sure thing?
Austin (as Nash): I already made bets. Herc—
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, that’s why I'm saying we have to—
Austin (as Nash): Herc knows we made the bet already.
Jack (as Carly): What if—
Austin (as Nash): I can’t un-bet the 500,000.
Keith (as Jackie): See, now, this is why you take the bets upfront. So that it’s fair. It’s more fair. [Austin and Ali laugh] This is what I was telling you.
Austin (as Nash): It is more fair. See? [Austin chuckles]
Jack (as Carly): Okay, Nash.
Austin (as Nash): [wheezes]
Jack (as Carly): Don’t worry about it. Don’t worry about it.
Austin (as Nash): [wheezes] Yeah.
Jack (as Carly): We’re gonna be wealthy. We’re gonna be happy. You’re gonna get to open the casino. Just, you know, try and stay calm.
Keith (as Jackie): Healthy, wealthy, and wise.
Austin (as Nash): [sighs]
Jack (as Carly): Shut the fuck up, Jackie. [Austin laughs]
Keith (as Jackie): Hey, hey! I'm trying to help your brother, here. He’s bleedin’ out!
Austin (as Nash): [groans]
Jack (as Carly): Uh huh. Tryin’ to help him?
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah, he’s— hey, stay awake! [claps] Stay— hey!
Austin (as Nash): Oh, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.
Keith (as Jackie): [claps]
Austin (as Nash): Sorry, I was just dreaming of that skee boil. [sighs] [Art chuckles]
Keith (as Jackie): Oh, yeah, we’re gonna get a nice skee boil when this is all over.
Austin (as Nash): [exhausted breathing] How far away are we?
Keith (as Jackie): Minutes. Seconds!
Art: Hey—
Ali (as Judy): Uhh, it’s kinda complicated 'cause of the, uh, murdurer. [Ali and Austin chuckle]
Ali: Judy yells while like…
Keith (as Jackie): Oh, could—
Ali: I think this whole time she’s been doing sick like fucking… [Austin laughs] braking, like cool turns. [laughs]
Keith (as Jackie): Is this not a— have you not lost him? [sudden realization] Why is there a hitman? [Ali chuckles]
Art: Do y'all know what a pit maneuver is? [Austin groans]
Keith: Yes.
Austin: Yeah. Uh huh.
Art: I think that’s how this scene ends. [Ali and Austin chuckle] And I think it can be as soon as right now.
Jack: So, you’re deciding that this is gonna go poorly, Art?
Art: Yeah, 'cause I think it would be cool to have this van basically tumble down a hill.
Keith: I do— before the pit maneuver.
Jack: [amused] Bad news for the horse and my brother.
Keith: Is there a hill near a hospital?
Austin: Probably no— probably no hills in Bluff City proper or on the highway. Well, there’s like probably some dips, you know what I mean? There’s like a—
Ali: Yeah, there’s gotta be a ditch.
Austin: There’s—
Art: I mean like an emb— like a ditch. Like an embankment.
Austin: It is—
Art: It’s the highway. [Ali laughs]
Austin: Okay, but it is like...it is for real an island. Bluff City is an island? So this would actually be like water that we’re hitting. [chuckles] Like, it is marshes and bays around Bluff, and then the ocean. So, it could be like a shallow marsh.
Keith: I was picturing— now, I was picturing a, uh…
Austin: We have got to go to Atlantic City. I have to— we have to go to Atlantic City together as a group.
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: We have to.
Ali: Mm-hmm.
Austin: It will change the way we do this show.
Keith: Okay. I'd go, whatever. I mean, I'm into it! Like, you know.
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: What was I— I was picturing this on like streets. Like regular streets.
Austin: Well, we were out of the city, right? We were outside of...we were, like…
Keith: We were at some docks.
Austin: We were— yeah. We were at like a backwater bay dock?
Keith: Okay. Alright. That’s fair, then.
Austin: Let me...this is stupid. This is a stupid thing I'm doing, but I'm doing it. Give me 20 seconds.
Ali: Mm-hmm. Pulling up Google Maps?
Austin: I'm on it already. So— [Ali laughs]
Keith: While we do that, for anybody that doesn’t know, a pit maneuver is—correct me if I'm wrong, Art—it’s when you take the nose of your car and slam it into the tail of a different car so that they spin out, right?
Art: Yeah.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: Uh huh.
Keith: That’s a pit maneuver.
Austin: So, do you see how it’s like green and also water between the left side there, the west, and the east, where there’s actually city again?
Keith: Oh, this is just where—
Art: Great, can you get me, uh...
Keith: This is just where the, um...where the a— where the, uh...not the anchors. Who are the nonmetal anchors? In Hieron.
Austin: The pala-din?
Keith: The pala-din. This is where the pala-din were.
Austin: Yeah, kind of.
Art: But you don’t— the embankment there is level? That’s not a slope?
Austin: What embankment? Which, where— tell me a road.
Art: Okay. Okay, so, where Atlantic City high school is.
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. So—
Art: There’s the Atlantic City expressway—
Austin: I will drop you there.
Art: And then that’s gotta have an elevation change, right?
Austin: It— sort of. Uh, one second. Let me just drop you at a spot. I'll drop you like on the expressway across from all that shit. It, like— there is an embankment, but...how do I link this? Do I just copy and paste it? I do. Boom. You can see what I mean. Like, it is...this is the highway. [chuckles]
Art: Mmm.
Austin: It’s just the marshlands.
Art: I think if you spun off out the side here, you would...your horse van might tip over.
Austin: Oh, yeah, I'm with you. I definitely think it would be bad. I just want to be clear, it would not be down a hill.
Keith: I can add—
Art: Sure.
Keith: If I can add a little, uh, New England flavor to it—
Austin: Sure.
Keith: We can get a little bit of both in here. It could be a cranberry bog. [Art chuckles]
Austin: Do they have those this close? I guess it’s the 70s. Maybe there’s the famous Bluff City cranberry blogs— bogs.
Keith: Yeah, I pass cranberry bogs on the highway all the time.
Austin: What I'm saying is, maybe by the future when we’re doing zoo heists and for whatever reason we don’t get to talk about the cranberries, it’s because whatever happens this decade stamps out all the fuckin’ cranberry bogs.
Ali: Mmm.
Austin: Replaces all— in the old days we used to have cranberry bogs, but these days, all we got is cranberry blogs.
Keith: Well, so, here’s— so— okay. Never mind.
Austin: Yeah? [chuckles]
Keith: This is Art’s thing. Art, you can fi— I mean, it’s my scene, but this is Art’s idea.
Austin: You’ve pit maneuvered us.
Art: Yeah. And I think the car spins off the road into...I mean, a cranberry bog is such a...how do you get anyone out of that?
Austin: That’s it. You’re done.
Art: How deep is a cranberry bog?
Keith: You don’t. It’s really a—
Ali: But those people are in it in the commercials. They seem fine.
Austin: They seem like they’re having fun, actually, right?
Keith: Oh, yeah.
Ali: [chuckles] They’re just standing.
Keith: And they’re a little bit like sarcastic and fun with each other, huh? [Ali laughs]
Austin: Yeah. Like us!
Keith: Yeah, like us. We’re a lot like the Ocean Spray guys.
Austin: God, our van in a cranberry bog is so good. [Ali chuckles] Everything red.
Art: Yeah, it’s every...it’s instantly just like crimson the whole way through, right?
Austin: Right, yeah. Yeah. I've typed in “cranberry bog car crash,” and it’s not...I don’t see any cars.
Keith: There’s bullets flying from the gun and hitting the cranberries like that scene from The Last Jedi. With the red salt.
Austin: What? Oh, right, that. That scene. Great, good. [Ali and Austin chuckle] Is this—
Keith: That’s a bit.
Austin: Are you resolving that scene, Art?
Art: Yeah, uh huh.
Austin: And what is that? That’s a bad? You’re giving a bad die for this.
Art: Um, actually, I'll give a good die for this. And the maneuver causes the hitman’s car to crash, like on that divider there, too.
Austin: Ah, I see.
Art: Everyone crashes. It’s a chase reset.
Austin: Gotcha. So, we’re in a cranberry bog. Under...like, outside of Bluff City. The sun is now probably rising pretty well. It is probably— you know, the radio kicks on, and it’s like:
Austin (as radio host): [enthusiastically] It’s 9:30! And that means it’s time for weather and traffic.
Keith (as radio jingle): Weather! And! Traffic!
Austin (as radio host): Jim?
Austin (as radio jingle): Doo doo doo doo doo doo!
Ali: Oh, and the horse is fine and is comically eating some of the cranberries. [Keith laughs]
Austin: Om nom nom. Yeah, just chewing on some cranberries.
Keith: Oh, it had scurvy, and now it’s doing better. [Austin and Ali laugh]
Art: Do horses like cranberries?
Austin: I hope so.
Jack: Yeah, there’s the like shot of the impact, of the car impacting us. And then we snap cut from the van in the air to the van wrecked on the side with the horse just like standing beside it eating cranberries. [chuckles]
Keith: Yeah, this is such a— this is going better than I had imagined. I thought...I thought this horse was gonna drown. [Jack and Ali laugh]
Ali: I think the like...the driver’s side door opens straight up. [chuckles] And Judy like crawls onto the top of the van.
Austin: God.
Ali: And is now like sitting on top of it as it’s on it’s side.
Keith: Okay, so now this horse is in a car—
Austin: Wait, is that the end of that scene, is that—?
Keith: —on its side, underwater.
Austin: Yeah. No, it’s fine.
Ali: No, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no. The horse is standing in the water eating cranberries. [chuckles]
Keith: But how did it get out of the truck if the van—
Ali: [laughing] The van is in the water.
Keith: How did it get out of the van?
Ali: In the crash, the door opened, and then [laughing] it got out of the van.
Keith: Hold on. I don't know about this. If you had to open the door vertically and climb out—
Ali: No, no, no, there’s a—
Keith: That means the back of the truck…
Ali: I was in the truck. [laughs]
Austin: There are other doors.
Keith: Right, but if you’re a horse—
Austin: It’s not one door.
Keith: If you’re a horse in the back of a van, the only other doors are now underwater.
Austin: We can do this— already— let’s just— we can do this in slightly less comical fashion, [Ali chuckles] but with very limited animal trauma. Where the horse goes like [distressed horse noise] and is not having a good time, and then, bleeding on the ground, Nash is like:
Austin (as Nash): Carly, get the door! Get the horse out of here before it drowns! [Ali chuckles] Carly, get the horse out!
Jack: [chuckles] Just panicking, kicking the door.
Austin: Yeah. The door opens.
Keith: And also the horse is panicking and kicking around in the—
Austin: Right. But then gets out and immediately calms down and is like...does like a little run around in the cranberries. [chuckles]
Jack: This horse rules.
Austin (as Cinnamon Crisco): [happier horse sound]
Jack: This horse is a sure thing.
Austin: This horse is a fuckin’ sure thing. Is that your scene, Jackie? That is the end of your scene, right?
Keith: Yeah. Yeah. I cannot believe I got a good die for that.
Austin: Alright. I will continue this scene. Right, we’re all here. The hitman is here somewhere. I look at Carly. And I go:
Austin (as Nash): I'm gonna stay in here.
Jack (as Carly): You what?
Austin (as Nash): I'm just gonna stay in here.
Jack (as Carly): In the van?
Austin (as Nash): Yeah.
Jack (as Carly): Don’t you think it would be better to move?
Austin (as Nash): I don't know that I can move, Car. [breathes deep] You want me to get out of the van and…
Austin: And there’s like water up to my ch— you know, my chest, right? Like, I'm laying down, and the van is kind of diagonal tilted such that, you know, the van is flooding and sinking into the mud.
Austin (as Nash): You want me to get out of here, crawl into some cranberries, and, uh...and then what? Get another car. Try to get to the hospital. Have this guy chase us there. Eh...it was a bad bet. It was a bad bet.
Jack (as Carly): [softly] Yeah.
Austin: I'm establishing.
Keith (as Jackie): What was a—
Jack (as Carly): It was a bad bet.
Keith (as Jackie): [from a distance] Hey, what was a bad bet?
Austin (as Nash): Bluff City.
Keith (as Jackie): Okay, 'cause my one was a sure thing.
Jack (as Carly): Nash, this is my fault.
Austin (as Nash): No. No, I brought you in. Remember, I was like, “I got this guy. You know, the guy Herc, your friend. I wanna make a bet. I have a sure thing.” Totally.
Jack (as Carly): You didn’t bring me in. Herc and I had...we had an arrangement.
Austin (as Nash): No, that’s just like I had an arrangement with Jackie. It’s fine.
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, it was really similar to the arrangement you’d had with Jackie, actually. [Austin chuckles] Um. Crisco was going to lose. Herc knew this. He told me. And then…
Austin (as Nash): Then you—
Jack (as Carly): I thought that if—
Austin (as Nash): Yeah.
Jack (as Carly): If we could get you to put as much on Crisco as, you know, as possible, then Herc and I...could split...could split the take. I was just— it was— you’re opening a new casino...
Austin (as Nash): Not anymore. Hey, Judy, you think they’re dying for hors d’oeuvres yet?
Ali (as Judy): It’s okay, Nash. You’ll get ‘em for dinner.
Jack (as Carly): [suddenly more urgent] What is everybody doing? We have to… [Jack and Austin chuckle briefly] We have to...get him out of here, or get us out of here. I mean, I saw that guy crash, but I don't know how long he’s going to be down there for. Nash, did you not hear me—
Keith (as Jackie): [distantly] Uh, he’s dead.
Jack (as Carly): What?
Keith: I'm looking through his car. For stuff. [Ali chuckles] Maybe—
Keith (as Jackie): [distantly] Just anything useful! I'm looking through just to make sure…
Jack (as Carly): He’s dead?
Austin (as Nash): [weakly] Is Jackie robbing the hitman?
Ali (as Judy): I think he’s—
Keith (as Jackie): [distantly] I'm not robbing the hitman, I'm scavenging for useful items.
Jack (as Carly): Fuck. Dad’s gonna be…
Ali (as Judy): Jackie, can we use that car?
Keith (as Jackie): No. [Austin and Jack laugh]
Jack: Oof. Okay.
[1:00:00]
Austin (as Nash): Alright, wait. The hitman’s dead.
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, so now we have to get you out of the bog. Come on, Nash. We have to get you out of the bog. The hitman’s dead.
Austin (as Nash): The hitman’s dead.
Jack (as Carly): Come on. Give me your arm.
Ali (as Judy): Nash, you can ride the horse back!
Jack (as Carly): [outraged] What are you doing? [Austin laughs]
Ali (as Judy): Well, we have to walk! And he’ll—
Jack (as Carly): I'm gonna go up onto the road and flag down a car!
Ali (as Judy): Oh.
Austin (as Nash): Alright, get me out of here. Someone— get me out of here. Someone get me out of here!
Jack: [laughs] Just like…
Austin (as Nash): I—
Jack: Like, trying to draw himself up to his full height.
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: From the floor of this cranberry bog.
Austin: Yeah. Trying to...
Keith: Wet up to his shoulders. [Ali laughs]
Austin: The like fringe of the cowboy jacket that he’s wearing already spread out in the water.
Jack: Ahh.
Ali: I think Judy like takes her shoes off, which is a weird thing to do. [Austin laughs] But like leaves them on top of the van, [someone claps] which is like— that she was sitting on, which is the side of the van, which is facing the sky.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: [laughs] Like, gets off into the water to like help pull him out?
Keith: Crowd of people watching.
Austin: Right, at this point, right?
Keith: Stopped. There is a ton of traffic.
Austin: Another one of the— one of the other— the hitman’s van, at this point, catches fire. Two fires. [Jack and Ali laugh]
Keith: [imitates police siren]
Austin: Right.
Keith: That’s cops. There’s cops coming.
Austin: Huh.
Jack: Okay.
Keith: And like a fire truck, I guess.
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: [laughing] Who just showed us this diagram?
Ali: [laughing] Just saying.
Austin: What? Oh.
Jack: Check the diagram.
Austin: Love it. Love this diagram. Yeah! That’s a good diagram. And I'm inside, presumably.
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: In this...
Keith: I love— [laughs]
Austin: Or that’s me on top, and Jackie is in the hitman’s…
Ali: [laughing] No, there was a fourth person, and then as you were saying it, your character wasn’t getting out of the car, so I had to erase yours.
Austin: [laughing] Oh, you erased it! I see now!
Keith: Wait. Wait, what is the thing that I'm not seeing?
Austin: On the far left, there is— look for the thing that is the eraser icon.
Jack: Like a ghost.
Austin: From MS Paint.
Keith: Okay.
Austin: And note the legs at the bottom, or the top left of that van. [Ali continues laughing]
Keith: [laughs] Oh, yeah. But the thing that I was trying to say earlier: see those big wide open doors where the horse came out safe? That’s underwater.
Austin: Right, but then the horse just stands up.
Ali: Only one of them is.
Keith: Okay. I'm just saying, though.
Austin: We’re fine. [Ali laughs] I need someone to resolve this scene, 'cause I established it.
Jack: Yeah. I'm gonna give you a black dice, here.
Austin: Okay.
Jack: Because I think we…
Austin: Yeah. The hitman’s dead. And you convinced me—
Jack: It’s another cut?
Austin: Yes.
Jack: Is it another cut to just like you…
Austin: [sighs thoughtfully]
Jack: I don’t want to put you in a hospital bed, right? It’s tough, right, you got shot.
Austin: No, put me...put me in a hospital bed.
Jack: Yeah, okay. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. It’s a smash cut to you in a hospital bed and a nurse wheeling in a television. [Austin makes amused sound] And saying:
Jack (as nurse): Ah, Mr. Nebraska. The race is in a couple of hours.
Austin (as Nash): [groans]
Jack (as nurse): We’ve managed to get you stable.
Austin (as Nash): You’re a gem.
Jack (as nurse): Just try and keep your mind off things.
Austin (as Nash): Like an emerald or a...like a sapphire. Thank you so much.
Jack (as nurse): Thank you, Mr. Nebraska.
Keith (as Jackie): Amethyst.
Austin (as Nash): I really appreciate it. Like an amethyst.
Keith (as Jackie): Amethyst geode.
Austin (as Nash): Great name.
Jack: Oh, god, is Jackie just sitting beside the bed? [Austin sighs] Just like anxiously holding, like… [Austin chuckles] Like being the— playing the role of the relative who also came along.
Keith: Mm-hmm.
Austin: Right. Here’s what I like about our current moment. There are four scenes left for things to still go a certain way. And if I'm counting right, [Ali snorts] we have one good scene left and three bad ones. [Ali laughs]
Keith: Mm-hmm.
Jack: Mm-hmm.
Austin: So. What’s about to happen?
Jack: Okay. I would like to establish a scene, and I'm gonna let one of you bastards give me one of these white dice, just whenever you want. [Jack and Austin chuckle] No, not now.
Keith: [chuckles] Okay. [Austin chuckles] Sorry, I heard “whenever,” I got a little overeager.
Jack: I think the scene starts just over black, and we hear the sound of drums. We hear the sound of someone in a band starting to play. And then we get a shot of a firework kind of lighting up the sky in daytime, [Austin chuckles] and we pan down to where a crowd has gathered around a stage that has been set up, you know, as part of the concourse of the racetrack. And a band is playing at the stage. And, over the sound of drums, we smash cut to Carly behind the wheel of the car that she bought early with the money—
Austin: Oh, right.
Jack: The tip that she stole.
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh uh.
Jack: Driving to see Herc, hours before the race starts. Where is Herc? What are you doing?
Art: I thought that Herc was gonna watch it from the casino, but that’s not the way we’ve gone. [Art and Austin laugh] So, um…
Jack: I mean, I can be going to the casino. We could have just been establishing that the race is— that everyone’s arriving for the race, that it’s all kind of gonna start there, and then I'm on my way to you.
Art: Yeah, I feel—
Austin: The real question is: do you wanna be at the racetrack for...is this...are the remaining four scenes going to be involving—
Jack: They might be at the racetrack.
Austin: Carly at the racetrack trying to fuck around with horses, or is this in the hotel, confrontations between characters as the hotel opens that day/night? With the note that we also are going to have our final black and white die Aftermath stuff.
Jack: Mm-hmm.
Austin: Where we get to narrate a few more scenes. Very, very, very briefly narrate a few more scenes, you know.
Jack: Art, I'm happy to be where you want to be.
Art: I think the right choice is to be at the track. That is the better bit of action.
Jack: Oh, so, I know. As we’re getting these establishing shots setting up the racetrack and we cut to Carly driving to the racetrack, we also get Herc driving, traveling to the racetrack from the casino.
Art: Sure, yeah. But like in a much more like relaxed manner. Like Herc’s just like driving a Cadillac.
Jack: [chuckles] Yeah.
Austin: Yeah.
Art: And is like…
Jack: Yeah, and I just have like white knuckles against the steering wheel.
Art: Whereas Herc’s like, stopping at a red light, and like...waving to a friend walking by. [Austin chuckles] And signalling and turning and…
Jack: In the back of my car underneath a...underneath just like cardigans that I've just like draped, is the bag of casino chips. Uh, and I come— do you have an office at the racetrack?
Art: Um...
Jack: You’re just a— you’re just a schmuck. You’re kind of independent.
Art: Yeah, I don’t have an office anywhere. [someone chuckles]
Keith: The city is his office.
Jack: Oh! Are you in the stands? Have you taken your seat?
Art: Yeah, I kinda— I like that. Yeah, in like a higher up place in the grandstand, with like, you know, a Coca Cola and like a napkin, a crumbled up napkin that used to hold a hot dog, and…
Jack: Like, high, high shot of Carly power walking from her parked car in this just packed parking lot up to the seats and then sitting down next to Herc.
Jack (as Carly): Herc.
Art (as Herc): Yeah, how’s it going.
Jack (as Carly): It’s all fucked, Herc!
Art (as Herc): What happened?
Jack (as Carly): I was in a van. It blew up. I was chased by a hitman.
Art (as Herc): It blew up?
Jack (as Carly): My brother got shot. [Austin chuckles]
Art (as Herc): Are you okay?
Jack (as Carly): No, I'm not okay! [Austin laughs] I want out, Herc. The bet is done.
Art (as Herc): There’s no out!
Jack (as Carly): [stammers] What?
Art (as Herc): I've been talking to people about this money.
Jack (as Carly): Fuck off “there’s no out.” I want out!
Art (as Herc): Okay, you’re out. Tell Nash he can bring the money around whenever he’s ready.
Jack (as Carly): No. This is the thing. Nash is done. He’s in—
Art (as Herc): [serious] No, this is the thing.
Jack (as Carly): You’re gonna do this to me?
Art (as Herc): For half a million dollars?
Jack (as Carly): For half a million dollars.
Art (as Herc): This is a business! This is my job!
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, and I thought you— [chuckles] you were my friend.
Art (as Herc): We’re friends! Come over whenever. You wanna watch the game next week? I'll grill. It’ll be great.
Jack (as Carly): Okay, I'll cut you a deal.
Art (as Herc): Yeah. Tell me about your deal.
Jack (as Carly): Just the chips. You walk away from here, half a million dollars, casino chips.
Art (as Herc): I mean, I—
Jack (as Carly): I've got them nearby. You can—
Austin: Wait, that’s...that is already the bet.
Jack: Yeah, but— [chuckles] But like, isn’t…
Austin: That is already what we owe him.
Jack: No, the bet is like all the bonds and papers as well.
Austin: No, I—
Keith: That bet didn’t go through.
Austin: I didn’t get to make— okay, while you were in the other room, when you stepped away for five minutes, we clarified— or, we made sure it was clear at that table. That second set of bets never went in. I was going to go do that when the hitman showed up.
Jack: Okay.
Austin: So the only bet I've made with Herc is $500,000 of the casino’s money.
Jack: Hmm.
Austin: Which is worse in some ways.
Jack: Hey, Austin?
Austin: Yeah?
Jack: You think Nash had any shares in his mother’s— in his father’s company?
Austin: Oh, definitely.
Jack: That’s something I could bargain with. [chuckles]
Austin: Yeah, yeah. You could do the opposite here, right? Which is like…
Jack: We get to keep— okay.
Jack (as Carly): You ever thought of getting into business, Herc?
Art (as Herc): [sighs] What kind of business?
Jack (as Carly): I can’t tell you.
Art (as Herc): Then, I mean, the answer to your question is: no, I've never thought of getting into a business that I don’t know what it is. [Keith laughs]
Jack (as Carly): Let’s say I had some shares in my possession. Legitimately acquired. We could turn them over to you. I'm not talking like a controlling interest or anything, just some nice shares. You can pay them out whenever you want. The company’s doing great.
Art (as Herc): What’s the closing price of the shares? This a trading company or this is a private company? What’s happening, here?
Jack: I don’t understand the question you have asked me, Art. [Art and Austin laugh]
Art: Great. That’s fine. [chuckles]
Art (as Herc): Who else am I in business with?
Jack (as Carly): My father.
Art (as Herc): This is...this is…
Jack (as Carly): Where do you think Nash’s money comes from, Herc?
Art (as Herc): I don't know. There’s a lot of dumb people with money in this world. How does anyone get money?
Jack (as Carly): Yeah, and there’s a lot of smart people. I'm just saying. I'm just saying. We square ourselves off. Nash doesn’t lose anything in the company. You gain, you know, something extremely valuable.
Art (as Herc): Okay, fine. For you, I'll do this. You give me the shares, the bet’s off.
Jack: Reaches into her pocket. Unfolds an envelope, like a letter sized envelope that has been folded in half. Like a thick envelope. Takes them out. They’re like st— oh god. Oh, god! We can’t read Blough City script, can we?
Austin: No. We cannot.
Jack: So they’re just...oh, I probably— can I? Is it that you can’t read it regardless of whether or not you learned, if you’re in the other place?
Austin: I guess you could learn. Well, in Lacuna when we played it, you could have a skill that let you learn how to read it. Given that our parents are from there, I bet we know how to read it. But Herc certainly can’t.
Jack: Yeah. So I just handed him a, like—
Austin: Unless there was a...unless there was a part of your shared secret is some weird Blough City shit.
Jack: I can’t tell whether or not I like more it being that we have some Blough City shit or that I am signing [Austin: right] shares in a company in a parallel universe [Austin and Jack laugh] over to a man.
Austin: It’s your scene.
Jack: But yeah. I think I hand you these shares, and they’re just...you can't read them.
Art (as Herc): [sighs]
Austin: There’s a lot of digits, though, probably, right? Like... [chuckles]
Jack: Yeah. They also— there’s like— these are share certificates that...they do not look hastily made. You know, in the way that we talk a lot about a lot of stuff from Blough City, this is legit, it’s just absolute nonsense to Bluff City eyes. Like, it has foil stamps. It probably has a watermark.
Art: But it looks like squiggles. It looks like…
Jack: Uh, no, it doesn’t look like squiggles. It looks like human English, right, Austin? We’ve seen…
Austin: Yeah, it looks like...it’s English you can’t read.
Art: It’s English characters?
Austin: It like gets away from you. The way that I would explain it is that like...if you could— if we had to put this on screen, we would need to figure out like how long it would take the readers’ eyes to pass over the letters, and change them when they weren’t looking. Do you know what I mean? Like...
Art: Sure.
Austin: It’s just like, meaning is right there, and you just can’t— [frustrated noise] it’s right...it’s slipping past you. Again, we’ve talked about like, uh…
Jack: It’s Prisen, isn’t it?
Austin: Yeah, Pri—
Art: Like that, uh…
Austin: Yes.
Art: That episode of Batman: The Animated Series.
Austin: It’s like that episode of Batman: The Animated Series in the dream, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Art: Yeah.
Austin: Exactly, yes. [amused] Those are the two things we’ve gone back to multiple times, is the song Prisencola whatever.
Jack: [slowly] “Prisencolinensinainciusol.”
Austin: Yeah. Cuisol, yeah. And that Batman: The Animated Series episode. [chuckles]
Art: I'm trying to figure out if—
Austin: And the third one is those baseball names. [chuckles]
Jack: Yes. [chuckles]
Art: I'm trying to figure out if Herc has ever met anyone from out of town.
Jack: ‘Cause this is the other thing, right? Herc might not necessarily have the connection that the Nash siblings— er, that the Nebraska siblings do.
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: But he might...given his dealings, have some sense of what the object he’s been handed is.
Austin: Right.
Jack: And he might put two and two together in his head of like, there’s a bar in the hotel that’s named the Nebraska bar.
[1:15:05]
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jack: And they serve nautical themed stuff. [Austin chuckles] And like...
Art: Yeah, it’s like— it’s more interesting if Herc doesn’t just react with confusion, right? It’s like…
Austin: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Art: If Herc looks at this and then gives like a meaningful look to Carly and is like:
Art (as Herc): Alright. Thanks, kid. [Austin makes amused sound] I was serious about the game. Come around. I'll grill up some sausages. Got some good peppers.
Jack: Carly stands up so suddenly that she knocks the Coke cup out of the person sitting on the other side of her’s hand. Just like stands up from her chair really quickly, ice all over the floor. Just like straightens her shoulders and walks away without saying anything. That is a—
Austin: I— okay, wait. So here’s the thing is: I gave you a die.
Jack: Yes.
Austin: I'm now thinking about whether or not we need a new— I gave you the wrong die. [chuckles]
Keith: I agree.
Jack: Yes. It’s a question about like...who did this go well for—
Austin: Right.
Jack: And what does “well” look like?
Austin: You got your thing, right?
Jack: He is out of the bet.
Austin: Right.
Jack: I just kind of weirdly sold…
Austin: Right.
Jack: I've not sold my soul. I've sold some rights to people who sell souls.
Austin: Yeah. The other thing that I'm thinking of is we have three more scenes. We know those are all gonna be bad. Or, the last one might not be bad. The last die is always wild.
Jack: Oh, true!
Austin: The last die can be black or white. In terms of its— sorry, it can be black or white in terms of it can be a positive or a negative scene, but the die color is set, is worth noting. So like when you roll at the end, you still roll it as if it is the color it is. Which is— we’ll get to in a moment. But—
Jack: No, I think this is negative, Austin. Because…
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: My father, who Herc is now in business with, sent a hitman after me.
Austin: Right.
Jack: And his own— sent it after his own son and daughter.
Austin: Well, like, for me, the question is: is there an immediate thing? You stand up and leave, and then, like two— we stay on Herc for two seconds, and then someone like sits down next to Herc and says— or leans over to Herc in the seat and is like, “Hey, there’s a call for you.”
Jack: Yes. It’s just like instantaneously.
Austin: Like you’ve embroiled this person in something big.
Jack: Yeah.
Austin: That they did not sign up for.
Jack: Yeah. Yeah, I'm up for that.
Austin: Alright.
Jack: And yeah, that’s bad news for me. It’s bad news for Herc. It’s good news for Nash, in the short term.
Austin: Sure. Which gives us Herc.
Art: So, we’re back at the casino.
Austin: Okay.
Art: Right? Or is that…
Austin: Yeah! Sure. That’s where you do your business most of the time, right?
Art: Yeah, it’s weird that [laughs] we weren’t there in the last scene. But like I liked that setting for that scene, so.
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Art: So that’s what it was.
Keith: After the race? Post-race?
Art: I mean, if we’re deciding that it doesn’t matter who wins the race, then yeah, right?
Austin: Yeah, it’s almost funnier, you know, in the movie sense. In the Coen, you know, brothers movie, we don’t see the race. [chuckles] Right? We just cut to, you know, people...like, scratched out tickets.
Ali: Yeah, yeah. We see— we hear the gunshots in the final bit of that Nash scene.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: And like the race is starting— well, I guess it didn’t. Well, whatever.
Austin: Well, there’s like pre-races, right? There’s like…
Ali: Yeah.
Art: Yeah, there’s probably a bunch. There’s, you know, the...you know, the 4:00 race probably isn’t even the last race. There’s probably the, you know, the Bluff City Downs at the end of the day, and like… [Ali chuckles]
Austin: Right, right.
Art: Or maybe they named after the casino, the…
Austin: The Albatross Classics.
Art: The Albatross Stakes.
Austin: Right, yeah.
Art: Yeah, the Albatross Classic. [Austin chuckles] But like...you know, Herc’s books are even. It doesn’t matter. He’s gonna make a little big of money off of this.
Austin: Right, right.
Art: ‘Cause that’s how being a bookie works. Doesn’t matter who wins.
Austin: And...so what do you— what happens back at— I almost said “base.” [Austin and Keith chuckle] Back at the casino. What do we see Herc— is Herc countin’ money? Is Herc...are you establishing or are you resolving, also?
Art: Um...I'll establish. It’s...give it that little bit of je ne sais quoi, you know?
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Art: Although I have two of each color, so for me it doesn’t matter. [chuckles]
Austin: Right.
Art: Yeah, the je ne sais quoi that… The...so, we have the like...it must be open by now. 'Cause that was the 4:00 race. We’re at the beginning of the 4:00 race.
Austin: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Art: So this place is open and probably bustlin’ right?
Austin: Yeah, 8 p.m. is when the actual like floor goes open. There’s a 4 p.m. early dinner for the fancy folks at the luxury— at the Crow's Nest where Judy works. But yeah. By the time that that race is over and things have kicked into power— er, into gear.
Art: Well, and Herc’s gotta get out of the parking lot and drive over.
Austin: Yeah, it’s a whole thing.
Art: So it’s probably like 5:30, getting close to 6 when Herc comes in.
Austin: Sure, sure.
Art: Comes up to the Crow's Nest, and yeah, there’s— it’s probably like a— I want just the fanciest dinner. I want people— like, the high rollers there in like tuxedos and tails and…
Austin: Yeah, absolutely.
Art: You know, some people got top hats and shit. And they’re probably not eating with the top hat on, but like...they showed up in a top hat [Austin makes amused sound] and someone— there’s a hat check, you know?
Austin: Yeah.
Art: And it’s just like...it’s, you know, the giant silver, like, food domes. I forgot the name of those. [Art and Austin laugh]
Austin: Serving platters? With like—
Art: No, you know like when they put the thing down and they take the thing off from on top of it?
Austin: [as if googling] Food dome.
Keith: Oh, I know what you’re talking. Like a turkey or something would go under a food dome.
Austin: Yeah. And underneath it—
Art: You can put anything under a food dome.
Austin: Underneath it is a serving tray.
Art: Like, every course, everyone gets all the things. And they’re all like removed in unison.
Austin: Yeah, yeah.
Art: And it’s this like…
Austin: It’s— oh.
Art: Giant fuckin’ nonsense.
Austin: Is it called a cloche?
Art: Yeah, I think that’s right.
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: [fascinated] Cloche.
Austin: “A small translucent cover protecting—” oh, wait, that’s— no, wait. Well, I searched for cloche, and it does— yeah, “A tableware cover, sometimes made of silver, though commercially available as glass, stone, or marble, or other materials.”
Art: I want it to be marble. That’s— that feels like a fuckin’ casino to me.
Keith: That’s so heavy. [Austin laughs]
Art: Yeah, well. It’s the high rollers’ suite. You probably get tipped real well. [chuckles] And it’s like this unbelievably fancy dinner that everyone’s eating, and I don't know what Judy is doing while this unbelievably fancy dinner is happening. I just want Herc in his like Members Only jacket walking through this... [chuckles]
Austin: God. [Ali chuckles]
Art: Really fancy dinner. Saying hi to the waiters.
Art (as Herc): Yo, how you doin’.
Austin (as waiter): Good, sir. Good.
Art (as Herc): Shame about the fifth.
Austin (as waiter): Yeah, shame about the fifth. Shame about the fifth.
Art (as Herc): You’ll get ‘em next time.
Austin (as waiter): Next time.
Keith: This guy a parrot? [Art chuckles]
Austin: Is the guy a parrot. Guy’s a parrot.
Art: And like, I guess— Judy has a desk, right? Not an office?
Ali: Yeah.
Austin: She has a fancy desk.
Ali: Judy’s desk is finally complete. [Austin laughs] In the time that [laughing] we haven’t seen it it’s being worked on. There’s now this like fantastic mural of— what’s an albatross do?
Keith: It’s a bird, and so it flies.
Art: Yeah.
Ali: No, but like I'm trying to see where it hangs out. It hangs out in like lakes?
Jack: Is an albatross like a cormorant?
Keith: Cliffsides and oceans.
Ali: Anyway, it’s like this beautiful mural of trees and the ocean and like birds flying...
Keith: Albatrosses are enormous.
Ali: Painted on this giant desk that you see as soon as you get off the elevator. Anyway, go on.
Art: Um. [Ali and Austin chuckle] And Herc like takes an envelope out of the inside of his jacket and puts it on the desk and slides it across. It’s got like the money from that day. It’s like...it’s whatever it is, you know?
Austin: It’s normal money.
Art: It’s normal money.
Art (as Herc): It’s an okay day today.
Ali (as Judy): Yeah, all things considered, I think we made out well.
Art (as Herc): You good?
Ali (as Judy): [sighs] I'm okay. It’s been a little busy. I don't know about this, Herc.
Art (as Herc): You don’t know about what?
Ali (as Judy): Well about the...about helping you with this business.
Art (as Herc): You’re not happy with this arrangement no more?
Ali (as Judy): [sighs] I think I'm a good host.
Art (as Herc): You’re a great host.
Ali (as Judy): I know.
Art (as Herc): Makes you a good partner.
Ali (as Judy): [chuckles, then sighs] Yeah, I guess so. I think I just tried to get too involved with this one.
Art (as Herc): Yeah. Don’t worry about it. You don’t gotta be involved, you know? All...you can get an envelope just like that every week forever, just for letting me hang out here sometimes.
Ali (as Judy): I just feel bad. Your friend was like confessing something to me this morning, and I was like, [Austin chuckles] very rude to her. And I just… [sighs] Is it always like this?
Art (as Herc): Nah. It ain’t always like this. And, you know, you see Carly...I don’t think she’s friends o’ ours anymore.
Ali (as Judy): [surprised] Oh. Well, I didn’t know her.
Art (as Herc): I don’t know any of us knew her. I thought I knew her.
Art: Oh, I guess that’s not true. We decided the secret was that I...knew about that. Whatever. [Ali laughs] I didn’t mean for that to be a lie, it turned out to be a lie. [chuckles]
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: You might have like...you might have known about the city but not necessarily Carly’s...involvement with it? I don't know.
Art: I certainly didn’t expect any hitmen to come out, I'll tell you that. [chuckles]
Jack: No. [chuckles]
Art (as Herc): Look. You don’t want to to it, you don’t gotta do it. I'm not gonna make you. But I think this is a good arrangement for us. You did a great job up here. It looks fuckin’ beautiful. Sorry. I probably shouldn’t swear, when there’s marble domes going around. [Ali chuckles]
Austin: People are just glaring at you for swearing. [Ali chuckles]
Art (as Herc): Yeah. Fuck off.
Ali (as Judy): [sighs] Well, you’re right. It’s here and it’s beautiful. While you’re here, do you want a...one of our appetizers? We have these little breads shaped like birds’ nests. [Austin and Jack chuckle]
Art (as Herc): Yeah, I'd love one. Can you wrap one up to go, though? I don't know that I should stay that long. I'm not really dressed for this occasion.
Art: Again, it’s a polo shirt and a Members Only jacket and like, khakis. [Ali laughs] It’s like...it probably looks fine a lot of places, but here it doesn’t.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali (as Judy): Yeah, yeah. I'll have someone bring you something out. Oh, we’re having, um...after it closes down, we’re gonna be hanging out in the penthouse. You know, a grand opening party for the staff.
Art (as Herc): Hey, I love a grand opening party.
Ali (as Judy): [chuckles] Well, I'll see you there.
Art (as Herc): Great, kid.
Art: I can’t call you kid. I call Carly kid. [Ali chuckles]
Art (as Herc): Great, Judy. Thanks again. You need anything? You need me to bring anything? You need like a...I don't know, what does a casino need? You probably got food, champaign, the works. I don't know, I'll see what I can find. I'll bring something. Maybe just something for you and me.
Ali (as Judy): Oh, oh oh oh. Actually, um, I...after dinner finishes up, I have to run the horse booth, but if I have someone from the kitchen bring you some carrots, can you give it to the horse that’s downstairs? I don’t want it to be rowdy during the meet and greet.
Art (as Herc): [confused] I'm sorry, did you say horse booth? [Ali laughs]
Ali (as Judy): [sighs] Yeah, I...I really got myself in a mess with this one, Herc. How many horses do you steal, doing your line of work?
Art (as Herc): I'm not sure I've ever touched a horse. [Ali chuckles]
Austin: God, I thought this scene was going one way.
Ali (as Judy): Oh.
Austin: I was about to resolve it for you, and now I don't know. [Ali laughs]
Art (as Herc): You got a horse? Where’d you get a horse?
Ali (as Judy): We...we…
Ali: [laughing] She’s like immediately lowering her voice.
Jack: God. just like the “moments before disaster” meme [Austin groans] of Judy offering him some snacks and then going like, “I stole a horse.” [laughs]
Art: “I gotta work the horse booth,” yeah.
Ali: [still laughing] I just realized we never discussed this, so this is perfect.
Ali (as Judy): [quieter] Well, you were saying that we were gonna lose a bunch of money, so I was talking to Jackie, and we figured it out that we could just make sure the right horse won.
Art (as Herc): No, you don’t want to get involved in that. That’s a dangerous game! [Austin chuckles]
Ali (as Judy): I know! I almost died today.
Art (as Herc): Were you— oh, you were with Carly!
Ali (as Judy): Yeah!
Art (as Herc): That’s right. It took me a bit to put that together. [Austin laughs] Yeah! I still haven’t gotten from that to horse booth, though.
Ali (as Judy): Well— I still have the horse. [chuckles] I had to do something with it. It’s in the basement downstairs.
Art (as Herc): And you’re gonna...you’re just gonna...you’re gonna bring a stolen horse into the casino—
Ali (as Judy): Yeah, all these drunk rich people are gonna love it. They’re gonna give the horse tips. It’s gonna— I have the whole thing worked out. [Ali chuckles] I spoke to the manager. It’s gonna be fantastic. Do you want a ticket to the horse booth?
Art (as Herc): Absolutely. [Ali laughs] But you gotta be careful. The person who owns that horse might come.
Ali (as Judy): I braided the horse’s hair. He won’t recognize it.
Art (as Herc): Alright. I will see...I am gonna cancel plans, [Ali chuckles] and I'm gonna be at the horse booth later.
Austin: [chuckles] I've given you a positive die. Part of my—
Art: The best day of my life.
Austin: Part of my thinking on that was also just like: you now know the arc of why the fix was in, and it’s nothing to worry about. [Ali laughs]
Art: Sure, yeah. It was just Judy freelancing.
Austin: It’s Judy and Jackie. There’s isn’t a third party. There isn’t someone else— you know what I mean? Like you now know what all the pieces on the board are.
Art: And I get to go to a horse booth!
Austin: And you get to go to a horse booth!
Ali: I'm...okay. [chuckles]
Austin: Uh huh? Establishing?
Ali: Time has passed.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Yeah, yeah. I'm establishing a scene. Time has passed. If there’s windows, the sky outside looks darker.
Austin: Mm-hmm.
[1:29:56]
Ali: There’s like empty sea...empty plates. There’s like tables with cups that are empty off them. But we’re downstairs now. We’re out of the Crow's Nest and I guess in the general casino floor. [laughs] And Jackie is standing beside a...I think it’s just like...okay. [laughs] So, you know...I've never been in a casino. You know how like, in my mind’s eye—
Austin: Uh huh.
Ali: Sometimes I imagine a casino with like a rounded table. And it’s like a half circle.
Austin: Yeah. yeah.
Keith: I don't know—
Austin: You’re talk—
Ali: And then there’s a place for a person to stand.
Austin: Yeah, no, that’s exactly— yeah.
Art: You’re talking about a blackjack table.
Austin: You’re talking about a blackjack table.
Ali: Yeah, it’s a blackjack table.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Yes, yes, yes, yes, yeah. So, there’s [laughs] a blackjack table with a horse standing behind it.
Austin: Oh my god.
Ali: [laughs] I guess the way that it works is that like, there’s— oh! Oh oh oh! Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh! It’s like a...like a...there’s a big sign above the horse that says, “Drink with a horse!” [all laugh loudly]
Austin: Love it. The best. Ahh.
Keith (as casino-goer): I can drink with a horse here! This is the greatest casino I've ever been to! [Ali continues laughing]
Austin (as casino-goer): I'm so glad they finally brought casinos to Bluff City.
Keith (as casino-goer): It’s worth its weight in horse to drink with a horse.
Jack: Yeah, I bet there are people who are just like, “Yeah, this is what a casino is, right? [Ali giggles] Eh, it’s the first one I’ve ever been to.”
Art: [concerned] Is the horse drinking?
Ali: [laughs] No, no, no.
Austin: Well, you drink with the horse.
Ali: But there’s the— [finishes laughing] there’s the like six seats there. And instead of the horse dealing cards or whatever, it’s just like, you can go there. You wait in line until there’s a seat, and then you like get served a drink, and you get to hang out at this table with this horse. [laughs]
Jack: How does the horse feel about this? What is the horse doing?
Ali: The horse seems fine. I think the horse is probably better than we’ve seen the horse before?
Austin: Good.
Ali: I think like—
Jack: In the casino.
Ali: Eating those cranberries, being not in a van.
Keith: Cranberries are full of antioxidants.
Ali: Being— [laughs] Being like in a climate-controlled environment—
Keith: Yeah.
Ali: Like away from noise and weirdness for a little while [laughing] helped this horse.
Keith: Right, it’s—
Ali: But now it’s back in a casino. It’s fine.
Keith: It’s behind a table with six rich guys drinking alcohol, [Ali laughs] which means it’s now away from the weirdness. [Austin chuckles]
Ali: The horse had a break. Unfortunately, it’s back to the weirdness.
Keith: Oh, okay.
Ali: But it’s now just chilling. And Judy is standing beside like a velvet rope that’s like in front of where the seats are. I didn’t explain it in the last scene, [chuckles] but I think she was gonna wear like a...she was wearing like a really nice white suit, that...she like changed the pants, but the top is still like the bottom of it is all red, and then there’s just like a slow gradient up. [chuckles]
Austin: Mmm.
Ali: From all the cranberry juice. But it totally works. And now I'm gonna set up the stakes of this scene, which is that someone...the person who comes to the front of the line, like...I don't know, what’s the exchange here? Do you—
Austin (as casino-goer): Great horse. Great horse you got here.
Ali (as Judy): [polite, bubbly] Oh, wonderful, thank you. We thought it would be nice to celebrate the race.
Austin (as casino-goer): Yeah.
Ali (as Judy): Would you like a seat? Do you just need one seat?
Austin (as casino-goer): You know what, I'll take all of them.
Ali (as Judy): Oh, um...when will the rest of your party be here?
Austin (as casino-goer): Soon.
Ali (as Judy): Okay. I'll put your name down now, but I can’t seat you if they’re not here.
Austin (as casino-goer): I’ll pay extra.
Ali (as Judy): [laughs politely] Sir—
Austin (as casino-goer): I just want it to be me and this horse.
Ali (as Judy): Um, sir, I think if you’re… [Ali and Austin laugh]
Austin: Sorry. I finished it moments before we began this very dramatic scene. There’s a drawing. [Ali laughs] In the chat.
Ali (as Judy): Oh, sir, I think if you were looking for a more, um...private experience with this horse, we could arrange that for the right price, but, um… [several people laugh hard] There are a lot of people waiting for this table, so I couldn’t…
Austin: His— when you say that, his eyes like flare, because he now believes you’re mistreating his horse. [Ali gasps and then chuckles]
Austin (as horse owner): [accusatory] What are you doing to this horse? You giving it drinks?
Ali (as Judy): [a little nervous] No, no, no! The horse is just enjoying lively conversation. It’s just more like a...a setpiece, really. Um...you know, people come here, they couldn’t go to the track to see the race, so we brought the track to them.
Austin (as horse owner): Yeah, this horse was at the track? Yeah?
Ali (as Judy): [stammers]
Austin (as horse owner): Yeah?
Ali (as Judy): Yes. Yes.
Austin (as horse owner): [accusatory] Which horse is it? Which horse is this?
Ali (as Judy): [sighs] This is, uh…
Austin (as horse owner): What’s the name of this horse?
Ali (as Judy): This is Junior Mint. Um…
Austin (as horse owner): [calling to horse] Junior Mint! [more insistent] Junior mint. [more insistent] Junior Mint. He’s not looking at me.
Ali (as Judy): Oh, the horse couldn’t—
Austin (as horse owner): Hey, Cinnamon Crisco.
Ali (as Judy): It’s—
Ali (as Cinnamon Crisco): [Affirmative horse sound] [Austin, Keith, and Ali laugh]
Austin: God, what— he takes something out and places it on the blackjack table. It’s probably not a gun. What else could it be? [Ali chuckles]
Keith: A horse treat.
Austin: A horse...horse treat on the table. Horse— it’s a sugar cube. [Ali laughs] Immediately, whoop! eats it. Hand on horse’s head. Quick movements.
Ali: Ahh.
Ali (as Judy): But— Sir, sir, sir, sir, sir. Surely we can talk about this. I can see that this horse is very fond of you, and I don’t want to, um, separate you.
Austin (as casino-goer): That horse— that guy— that horse really likes that guy! [Ali chuckles]
Austin: Says someone off—
Keith (as casino-goer): [low voice] Wow, can you teach me how to do that? [Austin and Ali chuckle]
Art (as casino-goer): A regular horse whisperer over here!
Keith (as casino-goer): That horse totally ignored me. I paid $15 for the horse to stare at me like I was a stranger.
Austin (as casino-goer): I think this is fixed! I think this is fixed!
Keith (as casino-goer): I think the fix is in! What is— who is this guy?
Ali (as Judy): He’s just a— he’s just a horse, uh…
Austin (as horse owner): I'll be taking the horse.
Keith (as casino-goer): I want a refund!
Ali (as Judy): Sir. Sir!
Austin (as horse owner): I'm taking it.
Ali (as Judy): Sir, the—
Austin (as horse owner): Home.
Ali (as Judy): The casino… [quieter] the casino doesn’t close until midnight. [Keith laughs]
Austin: [surprised] Do the casinos close at midnight?
Ali: Well, it’s the first day.
Austin: It’s the first day. It’s the first day. [Ali laughs] And he like stands up. Picks a briefcase up from the floor that we didn’t see before. Puts it on the table. Opens the briefcase revealing a bridle to affix to this horse’s face, with...do horses have leashes? Can you leash a horse? What’s the rope?
Keith: I think the bridle has the…
Ali: You have that little thing you hook on, yeah.
Austin: Does the bridle— okay. And begins just to affix this to the horse.
Austin (as horse owner): [quietly angry] Who took my horse? You’re going to tell me who took my horse. Did you take my horse?
Ali (as Judy): I didn’t take your horse, sir. No, I couldn’t—
Austin (as horse owner): Who took it?
Ali (as Judy): I...um…
Austin (as horse owner): What is their name?
Ali (as Judy): Well...I wasn’t—
Austin (as horse owner): How tall. Are they?
Ali (as Judy): 6’1”.
Austin (as horse owner): 6’1”.
Ali (as Judy): Um...I can really explain if you give me some time, sir. I…
Austin (as horse owner): [threatening] I will give you plenty of time to explain. Come with me and the horse. [Ali chuckles]
Austin: I'm giving you a die.
Art: [hushed] Don’t go with that guy! [Austin and Ali chuckle]
Ali: Okay.
Ali (as Judy): I don’t want any trouble.
Ali: Judy just follows with her hands up.
Austin: Yeah. Uh huh.
Ali: But then she’s like— she like— she’s like—
Ali (as Judy): I don’t want any trouble.
Ali: And then looks at all of her customers, and is like:
Ali (as Judy): I'll be right back, sir. I...put your drink orders in. I'll bring them right back.
Austin: [laughs] What a good hostess. [Ali laughs] Incredible hostess. Is that scene?
Ali: I think so.
Austin: Judy walks away with him? Okay. That was a...negative die.
Keith: There was no other choice.
Austin: There was no other choice.
Keith: I will resolve a scene.
Austin: Okay. God, how’s this set up?
Ali: Yeah, I don't know. Do you want to like ditch town? Or do you want to try to save me from this horse…?
Keith: Do I? [Ali laughs] Do I want to try to...what would I get from that? What would I get from confronting this guy?
Austin: Wooow. Damn. Truly just a work relationship, not friends.
Ali: Exactly.
Austin: You’re right. You were right when you said it. [Ali chuckles]
Keith: Look, friends is one thing, but this guy wants my neck!
Austin: Did you see it? Is the next scene literally Jackie from like...like, walking out of the bathroom that we saw before being used as Herc’s office? And being like, “Oh, I gotta get outta here.”
Keith: Um...I want…
Austin: Does anyone else have ideas? 'Cause we are supposed to...if Jackie’s resolving, one of us should come up with the thing. With the establishing shot and the establishing scene.
Jack: I mean, we… [sighs] Is it just— [chuckles] Is it just Judy, man, horse showing up at Jackie’s place? [Ali laughs]
Austin: Like, I don’t even know that we need to go even that far. We could literally be: man looks at photo of Jackie.
Jack: Right.
Austin: But yeah, they could show up. What is Jackie’s place?
Jack: I guess the question is like: does Judy just instantly sell Jackie out?
Austin: Oh, I thought that’s what that was going to. When she was like, “I—”
Keith: Yeah, it looked like already that happened.
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I believe that already happened.
Ali: Yeah, I guess the remaining stake is like are Jackie and Judy gonna be safe?
Austin: Right.
Ali: Now that this person has showed up. So we can either have them like go show up at Jackie’s house and rough him up, or Jackie like trying to get away from…
Austin: Right.
Ali: Jackie could’ve seen all of that happen and like sneak out of the back.
Austin: That’s what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. [Ali laughs] Like, I do kind of like the idea [Jack: Just like—] of leaving the question of this horse owner’s ire to the Aftermath die.
Keith: It’s also— it’s the first night of the first casino, which means that Jackie was running a scam in the casino?
Austin: Oh, true, fair.
Keith: Probably…
Austin: For sure. At least one.
Keith: Going around to the tables and telling them that he was there to collect the chips that they had— [Austin and Keith chuckle] that they had there. From— that customers had lost.
Austin: Right. “Oh, yeah, the customers lost these. Did you— t was on the news, the customers lost them. You didn’t hear?”
Keith: No—
Austin: “Yeah. it was very— yeah, sad. I need the chips, now.”
Keith: [laughing] Yeah, no, that’s not exactly what I meant. [Austin chuckles] Like, they played bad hands and lost their bets.
Austin: Okay. Right.
Keith: And it’s like, okay, hey, I'm going around collecting your chip trays.
Austin: Or your earnings, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keith: Right, yeah.
Art: That’s a great way to end up dead. That’s… [Austin laughs]
Keith: Hey, look.
Austin: Robbing the casino is.
Keith: I am not the first person in this game to play fast and loose with casino chips.
Austin: Oh, absolutely not.
Jack: Yeah, but I work for the casino.
Keith: Right, so it’s just embezzling, which is basically not a crime. [Jack and Austin laugh]
Austin: Not in this country, goddamnit. Yeah, I think that’s what it it. I think it’s...I think that the establishing shot is you like literally sliding or spilling an entire try of chips into a bag, or into like a drop point— like you— I think [chuckles] you pour them into a trashcan, and then you pull the trash bag out of the trash can to reveal that it was a second trash bag that you had been— that you had set up somehow, just for chips, to hide your stolen chips. And also you’re wearing a janitorial outfit at this point. [Keith chuckles] And so you’re just like walking away with a bag full of chips. It’s not 500,000, but it ain’t nothing.
Keith: It ain’t nothing!
Austin: And you see as Judy is hauled— not hauled. But is slowly walked down a hallway. Or, you know what? [chuckles] Into an elevator that’s going up to the Crow's Nest, to the penthouse part of the Crow's Nest, to presumably be interrogated. Presumably about you and the horse. And you know who owns the horse, 'cause you stole the horse.
Keith: Right.
Austin: And you go, “That’s the guy who owns the horse.”
Keith: Right, yeah. Is the horse with them?
Austin: Oh, yeah. Right?
Keith: They didn’t leave the horse behind?
Austin: No, they brought the— this person is never leaving this horse, this beloved horse, again.
Keith: Um...hmm...uh, I could...I guess I could...I could page Judy.
Ali: Mmm.
Austin: True.
Keith: And that sounds like maybe it’s to help, but instead it’s to feign ignorance, and I'm sure we have a code for meeting at someplace, perfect timing. Like, hey, meet me— Judy, are you selling me out? It seems like...'cause, Austin, you said that this guy was about to interrogate her, but I thought that Judy was just leading him to me.
Ali: I think upon being pressured [laughs] by this person and like led out of the casino and questioned, she would be like, “Yeah, me and my friend at the casino stole your horse [Austin makes amused sound] so your horse wouldn’t win. He’s 6’1”. No, I can’t tell you his name. He’s a dealer. Yeah, he’s that guy.” [laughing] ‘Cause there’s only so many dealers that are that tall, I guess.
Austin: Uh huh.
Ali: It takes a little bit, but you probably get sold out.
Austin: But Jackie doesn’t know that. All Jackie knows is: the person who owns this horse, Judy, and the horse get in an elevator.
Ali: Mm-hmm.
Keith: Jackie’s first instinct is that I'm gonna get sold out.
Austin: Right. Right, right, right.
Keith: Regardless of what happens or not.
Austin: Yes, yeah.
Ali: Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
Keith: Which means that...um...hmm. Maybe I'll go… [sighs] I don't know what I— I don't know how this ends.
[1:44:58]
Austin: I mean, it could literally just be you slipping out. You going somewhere else. It could be whatever you want. How does Jackie respond to that? Like is this like, “Oh shit, I have to leave town”? Is this “Oh shit, I have to go up there and knock that person out”? Is it...calling in a favor from somebody else?
Keith: I think it’s...I think—
Austin: Is it hiding?
Keith: I— okay, here’s what I...it is calling in a favor. And here’s who Jackie really thinks owes him a favor, and it’s Nash. [chuckles]
Austin: Yeah, of course.
Keith: So I think that I head to the hospital.
Austin: [amused] Okay.
Keith: And Nash is probably not awake.
Austin: No.
Keith: So I shake you awake.
Keith (as Jackie): [hushed, urgent] Nash! Nash!
Austin (as Nash): [half-asleep alarmed sound]
Keith (as Jackie): Nash.
Austin (as Nash): [tired] Jackie, Jackie.
Keith (as Jackie): Listen. Things are a little hectic.
Austin (as Nash): Yeah.
Keith (as Jackie): Do you have a boat?
Austin (as Nash): Do I got a boat?
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah.
Austin (as Nash): Yeah, I got a boat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keith (as Jackie): Listen. You know I hate to call in a favor. But you owe me one.
Austin (as Nash): You always say, “Never call in a favor.’
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah, you know that I hate to do that.
Austin (as Nash): Yeah.
Keith (as Jackie): And how I tell you not to call in favors. And I say that to everyone.
Austin (as Nash): You’re asking me for my boat?
Keith (as Jackie): I need to borrow a boat.
Austin (as Nash): [sighs] My boat only goes one place, Jackie. You don’t want to go there.
Keith (as Jackie): Your boat only goes one place? Is it like a subway?
Jack: Oh, wow.
Keith (as Jackie): Is it like a train?
Austin (as Nash): [sighs] It’s more like a train than a boat. But it’s a boat.
Keith (as Jackie): Do you have a non-train boat?
Austin (as Nash): No.
Keith (as Jackie): Do you have like a hot air balloon or a plane or…
Austin (as Nash): My fuckin’ head is full of hot air these days, but that’s about it.
Keith (as Jackie): I don't know what that means.
Austin (as Nash): I got a boat. Me either. I was just tryin’ to sound funny.
Keith (as Jackie): It was funny.
Austin (as Nash): Eh, thank you. Ha. Uh...the boat’s, um...you know where the old lighthouse is? Three blocks up, it’s on the—
Keith (as Jackie): Is it— it’s like—
Austin (as Nash): It’s on the docks.
Keith (as Jackie): It’s a little bit down from the new lighthouse?
Austin (as Nash): Yeah.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah.
Austin (as Nash): Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talk to the gate guy there. His name is, uh, Leon. Tell him...tell him Nashton...Nashton’s sendin’ you home. He’ll know what it means. He’ll put you on the boat.
Keith (as Jackie): Wait, you said I didn’t want to go...you said I didn’t want to go there.
Austin (as Nash): [pause] You’re smart. [amused sound] You’re smart. You’ll be fine. Or...I mean, you gotta make the decision.
Keith (as Jackie): I mean, I can’t stay here. There’s a guy with a horse that wants my head.
Austin (as Nash): Yeah, you should...you should...he has a horse?
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah. Remember about the sure thing? You remember how I fixed it? Um, well I fixed the race. That’s how I knew it was a sure thing.
Austin (as Nash): Oh, that guy get his horse— is the horse— the horse.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah, yeah.
Austin (as Nash): That was a good horse.
Keith (as Jackie): Right, that horse! You knew that horse, yeah. That was a stolen horse. That was the sure thing that I got you.
Austin (as Nash): Yeah.
Keith (as Jackie): So...does it— do I need keys? Or does the lighthouse guy have the keys?
Austin (as Nash): Leon’ll get you through.
Keith (as Jackie): Leon.
Austin (as Nash): Yeah.
Keith (as Jackie): [repeating to self] Leon.
Austin: This is the—for people listening—the same guy who runs that tugboat service with the horses. [laughs] But he happens to also run the docks where this...where this one-way boat goes, or is.
Austin (as Nash): Jackie.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah.
Austin (as Nash): Be careful. Not everybody’s as naive as me.
Keith (as Jackie): Only a very wise person would say that.
Austin (as Nash): Are you scamming me? Is this a scam?
Keith (as Jackie): What are you talking about?
Austin (as Nash): Is this a, uh…
Keith (as Jackie): No. What?
Austin (as Nash): Is this a con?
Keith (as Jackie): No!
Austin (as Nash): Are you conning me?
Keith (as Jackie): No!
Austin (as Nash): You trying to get one over on old Nash?
Keith (as Jackie): No, if I was conning you, I wouldn’t tell you that I wanted the boat. I would tell you that I wanted something else, and I would end up with the boat.
Austin (as Nash): Alright. Well, listen. Good doing business with you.
Keith (as Jackie): You too.
Keith: Is there anything in the room I could take on my way out?
Austin: Certainly. A lamp. My wallet, just like on the bedside. [Keith laughs] Any of those is funny.
Keith: [laughs] I wonder what I could use the lamp for, that I think that this is my last chance to get a lamp! [Keith, Ali, and Austin laugh]
Art: Gonna need a lamp when you get there.
Austin: [mumbling] You’re gonna need a lamp.
Keith (as Jackie): Can I take this lamp?
Austin (as Nash): Yeah. It’s like they say, you’re gonna need a lamp when you get there.
Keith (as Jackie): Is that...is that a part of where I'm going? I don't know where I'm going.
Austin (as Nash): You’re… [sighs] You’re going out of town.
Keith (as Jackie): I could stand to be out of town.
Austin (as Nash): Yeah.
Keith (as Jackie): Alright.
Austin (as Nash): I hear it’s rai— ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Keith (as Jackie): Ah? Ah?
Austin (as Nash): And like, when you go downstairs, on your way out, there’s a little, uh...there’s a little coatrack by the front door of the hospital.
Keith (as Jackie): Uh huh.
Austin (as Nash): Under the coatrack is a little bin. People put umbrellas in there when it rains, and sometimes they forget ‘em because they go to the hospital. When you’re at the hospital, you’re busy.
Keith (as Jackie): Right.
Austin (as Nash): So you forget sometimes that you had an umbrella. You take a look in there. What you’re gonna find is a big umbrella. You take that umbrella, and you take that with you. It’s raining, right now. There’s a storm out of town.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah, okay.
Austin (as Nash): Alright.
Keith (as Jackie): Weather update. Lucky.
Austin (as Nash): Yeah. [Ali chuckles]
Austin: I’m gonna turn around in my bed and try to go back to bed. Alright. You get the umbrella, presumably?
Keith: Yeah, I get the umbrella, and then I take—
Austin: There’s one big umbrella in a— there’s like a bunch of little ones. There’s one big one.
Keith: Uh huh. I take the big one, I take the little one, and I take a hat that someone left in there. [Austin laughs] And, uh…
Keith (as Jackie): I lost a camera. Have— did you see a camera?
Austin: [chuckles] It’s not a lost and found.
Keith: Is it not a lost and found? It could be a lost and found.
Austin: No, it’s like...it’s an umbrella bin thing.
Keith: There’s also a lost and found.
Austin: There’s also a lost and...
Keith (as Jackie): I lost my camera.
Austin: [chuckles] Yeah, the like receptionist gives you...
Keith (as Jackie): It’s the expensive one.
Austin: Gives you a nice camera.
Keith (as Jackie): Thank you. This was my father’s camera.
Austin (as receptionist): [friendly voice] You going sightseeing?
Keith (as Jackie): I am. I'm going out of town.
Austin (as receptionist): Oh, you’re going out of town.
Keith (as Jackie): Yeah, so I needed my—
Austin (as receptionist): I hope you get a lot of good pictures!
Keith (as Jackie): Thank you. Thanks. Have a good night.
Austin (as receptionist): Have a sweet one.
Keith (as Jackie): Do you have a quarter— do you have a dollar?
Austin (as receptionist): Yeah.
Keith (as Jackie): Can I borrow a dollar? [Keith chuckles]
Austin (as receptionist): Of course, sweetheart.
Keith (as Jackie): Thank you.
Austin: Gives you a dollar bill. [chuckles]
Keith (as Jackie): Payphones, who knows, you know?
Austin (as receptionist): Payphones!
Austin: And...it is time for the Aftermath. You should take this die, this last die. Was that a positive scene or a negative scene?
Keith: Um… [Austin chuckles] It’s really up for debate. I didn’t die, and I'm going to Blough City.
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: I mean, Finnegan…
Austin: Uh huh!
Jack: Attempted to flee Blough City. He was someone who turned up in Blough City, and he basically attempted to try and seek asylum back in Bluff City again?
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Jack: Uh, s—
Ali: But people like it there, too.
Keith: Like eight people, right? [Austin, Jack, and Ali laugh]
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: You know.
Keith: The kind of person that might end up liking it is…
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: Is a j— it would, if anybody, maybe Jackie.
Austin: Jackie might find— we’ll see. Alright. It is time for the Aftermath. [reading] “The Aftermath is usually the game’s denouement. It’s likely the action has peaked, and that’s totally okay. By this point, we can probably see each character’s general trajectory, but there’s still time for tragic and unwholesome surprises. The Aftermath should be told in montage, and it should be fast. The Basics: Roll all the dice in front of your character. Total them by color, as in the Tilt.” So, again, right click— select all, right click them, hit random side.
Ali: We’re all doing this to our own, right?
Austin: Yes, just to your own.
Art: [whistles in negative reaction]
Austin: And you consult the Aftermath Table on page 58. So, do your math. Let’s all do our math and figure out what our totals are. Six, seven, eight, nine. So, I have six black.
Jack: So, you…
Ali: Oh, it’s one minus the other, right?
Austin: Yeah, it’s one minus the other. Your higher—
Ali: So, I have three white.
Austin: Okay. Yeah, 'cause you have ten white.
Jack: Yeah.
Austin: You got ten white and seven black, so, yeah, three.
Ali: Mm-hmm.
Austin: And I got nine black and three white.
Jack: I have six white. We have basically the same...we have inverted dice, Austin, which is very good—
Austin: Oh, that’s perfect.
Jack: ‘Cause we’re siblings.
Austin: Yes, that’s so good.
Jack: Black sheep and golden child.
Austin: Uh huh. Herc, you got a bunch of weird, low numbers. [chuckles]
Art: Yeah, I got four. Four black.
Austin: Yikes!
Art: It was all just cancelled out on the ends.
Austin: And Jackie. Jackie, five black. Alright. So, the way this works is after you do the roll, you consult the Aftermath table. The table [reading] “will give you your marching orders for the game’s finale. Black results are generally physical, while white results are generally social, mental, or emotional. You really, really don’t want those dice to cancel each other out—the further from zero your final result, the happier the ending. At this point the game enters the final phase, the Aftermath.” The way that we do the Aftermath is: each die represents a single sentence or a single shot in a montage about our character. You take one of the die that ended up in front of you. You say, “This is my character doing something.” This is my character— this is Nash walking out of the hospital— you know, the front hospital doors. Blah blah blah. It should be active, and it should be about your character, not somebody else’s. [reading] “Then somebody else takes a die and does the same thing—you’re describing the outcome of the game, maybe tightly focused, maybe meandering across many years. Your group will find its own preferred way of handling the montage. Keep it brisk, broad, colorful, and poignant.” Let’s just go around the table, in the same order that we’ve been in. So, I have three die. With six black, that means that I have...oh, that’s the Tilt table. That’s not the right one. There we go. I have six to seven. [reading] “Black Six to Seven: Pathetic. You’ll suffer, oh dear god you’ll suffer, and everyone will know of your malfeasance, your stupidity, your lack of common sense and decency. You’re probably going to be locked up, too.” And so that is the first scene that we get, is we don’t get Nash walking out of the hospital. What we get is the police walking into it. And then, at some point, Nash gets up and goes to leave the room, and outside is an officer who is standing there, and who is like:
Austin (as officer): [scoffs] You can’t go anywhere. We heard about your little deal with the chips.
Austin: So, that’s my first scene. Carly?
Jack: This is Carly—
Austin: Wait, what’s your— can you read your thing?
Jack: Oh, yes, sure.
Austin: Yeah.
Jack: I have six white, which says, “Weak: Hey, you’re busted, beat, and broke down, but at least you’ve learned a lesson about human greed and frailty, right? [Austin makes amused sound] It’ll serve you well in prison, which is where you are probably headed.” Okay, so, it is...this is Carly returning her coup [Austin chuckles] to the car salesman, who is like:
Jack (as salesman): Ah, didn’t suit you, did it?
Jack: And Carly’s like:
Jack (as Carly): Nope. Nope.
Jack: And in the back you can see like the ghost of some bloodstains from the bag of chips. [Austin laughs] But like, they’ve gotten out enough that, unless the guy really looks at it—which he will—he won’t notice. And, you know, money changes hands. Carly walks away from it with substantially less money than she paid for the car, but, you know, has gotten like a little packet.
Austin: [chuckles] Great.
Art: I think the first scene is—
Austin: Also, what was your number and your color and your writeup?
Art: Oh, I'm...four black.
Austin: Okay.
Art: Which is “Savage, as in ‘something is broken or mashed.’ Maybe you’ve got a permanent limp and a bad reputation. Plus, you totally fail.”
Austin: [chuckles] Great.
Art: I think my first scene is Herc, you know, getting in his car at the end of the night and driving home, and his house is just ablaze. [Austin chuckles] And he just looks, and he keeps driving.
Austin: Great. Judy?
Ali: Um, yeah. So, I have white three.
Austin: Oh boy. [chuckles]
Ali: Which is, “Grim. The stress and trauma from your little adventure are going to haunt you forever—bits of your soul are destroyed and you are missing a piece or two. [chuckles] In a few years children are going to cry when you get too close. All your plans have ended in complete ruin.”
Austin: Jesus christ.
Ali: Uh, yeah. [laughs] So, I think that the first scene that we get is Judy at another...it’s like the next race that’s happening at the casino, so it’s her in the Crow's Nest, like standing in her little place. I think that it’s like a tight shot on her, but there’s like implied movement.
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Ali: And I think that she is...she has just like a neutral expression on her face, and she is looking at the table that Jackie used to deal at?
Austin: Mmm.
Ali: And is just like watching the replacement just kind of like deal out cards to people. And then the...there’s another race happening today, so there’s a...there’s the gunshot again that goes off, and when it [Austin inhales sympathetically] it like cuts through the scene and she jumps—
Austin: Right.
Ali: And then she just starts crying when she hears it? [chuckles] And then the scene cuts.
Austin: [sympathetically] Buddy. [Ali laughs] Jackie. What is your Aftermath? And what is your first scene?
Keith: My Aftermath, “Black Five: Rough. You are getting whipped like a rented mule, for starters. You will remember this episode for all your diminished days. The lesson you learn will be profound, lingering, and painful.” Um… [Austin chuckles] So, the first scene is...we get Jackie on the boat headed towards, as far as he knows, “out of town,” whatever that means. The course has been set. He’s been told how to get there. But he has not been told that there is a massive leak in the boat.
[2:00:07]
Austin: Oh boy.
Austin (as Leon): It’s fine.
Austin: Says Leon. Uh. This is five years later. It is Nash being visited—not by his sister, who, I guess, can tell me herself if she visited or if she had the ability to—but by his mother. It is a silent scene for us, the audience, as music plays. She is speaking. She seems severe. She seems disappointed. His eyes widen when he first sees her, as if this was a complete surprise, perhaps allowing you to read in that she had not come to see her son before this. And he nods a lot. He nods a lot as she speaks, as if he’s giving consent, as if he is saying:
Austin (as Nash): Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that could work. That could work.
Jack: This is Carly paying her rent, her back rent, to her landlord, who is taking it in spectacularly bad grace. [Austin chuckles] This is...he is not being triumphant about it, and Carly is not feeling triumphant about it. She’s paying the rent with the money that she got from the car and keeping a little bit to settle other debts. And then we see her turning her collar up against rain that she knows is going to come and stepping into the back of a black Lincoln driven by someone whose face is obscured.
Art: This is Herc—this is later—showing up at the casino and walking up to the door and being turned away. And he tries all of his tricks, all of his gladhanding, and none of it works. He gets back in his car, drives to the racetrack, and he gets turned away. And we just have like a set of scenes of Herc going to places, [Austin chuckles] trying to ingratiate himself to the people there, and just being turned away every time. Herc has no influence in this town anymore.
Austin: Mmm.
Ali: [sighs] A fitting scene afterwards. We see Judy in a different casino, a casino we don’t recognize. And she’s like standing— she has like her arm crossed but like one is...like, as if she had her arms folded like under her chest, and then the other is like, she has one of her ties like balled up in her hand, like with her hand on her chest, if that makes sense?
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Ali: And she’s like looking down and trying to hold her composure, because the shot is her standing behind a different dude we also don’t recognize in a suit, [Austin: mmm] who’s like, having a conversation with someone offscreen. And he’s like:
Ali (as casino man): Sir, sir, sir. Please calm down. We’ll take care of it. It’s fine.
Ali: And then the other person offscreen is just yelling like:
Ali (as other person): [upset] I never want to see her again! She told me to bet on these horses! [Austin laughs] I knew her from the Albatross. I bet on a horse, and I lost all my money. I bet on another horse, and I lost all of my money. She can’t work here! You gotta get her outta here!
Ali: And then the scene cuts.
Austin: [sympathetically amused] Mmm. [Ali laughs]
Keith: This is further on in this boat trip. We’re seeing the shoreline for the first time, but it’s been obvious for a little while that this boat is not going to make it to the land.
Austin: Mmm.
Keith: And the first thing that happens is...a motorboat comes from the direction that we came from, from Bluff.
Austin: Ahh.
Keith: And as Jackie’s desperately trying to bail water out of the boat, someone comes out of the boat and scoops up the bag of chips and whatever else Jackie had. [Austin chuckles] And then the second thing that happens is that, instead of giving Jackie a ride to shore, the boat turns around, and Jackie starts to swim.
Austin: The last time—at least for me, the last dice I have—this is Nash at the Nebraska. The Nebraska...what was it? The Nebraska restaurant? The Nebraska Bar and Grill? Behind the bar, with an apron on, cleaning a glass before the evening rush hits. He is not a manager. He is not the VP of Operations at the Albatross Casino and Hotel. He is a bartender, and sometimes he busses tables. And he is kind of happy doing it. He’s a little more gray. I think maybe he’s actually cut his hair down, we now have Nash with gray hair, gray close-cropped hair. And we see— we hear someone come in, and he looks up and smiles.
Jack: It is not Carly. Because Carly, at this very moment, is hitting the button to dispense a cup of coffee from a coffee machine on the 45th store— er, floor, of an office building out of town. [Austin groans] The coffee comes out, it spatters in the bottom of the cup, it fills up slowly, [chuckles] and then it dispenses milk in with that kind of weird whine that coffee machines—
Austin: Yeah. Uh huh.
Jack: Bad coffee machines do when they...the milk has a note. [Austin and Keith laugh] And she takes it and takes a sip, and...she’s fine to take a sip, because it’s not really hot. And it tastes very bad, and she carries the coffee down the hall to where she has her own office. It’s not a very big office. There’s a sign on the door that says Carlotta Nebraska. Her In tray is full. Her Out tray is empty. And she sits down behind a typewriter and starts to get to work.
Art: I think we go from like the clack clack clack clack of a typewriter to like the percussive sounds of people— of someone being punched. [Austin makes amused sound] And it’s Herc just getting the shit beaten out of him by some, you know, nameless thugs. And they hit him, they hit him, they hit him.
Art (as thug): Where are the papers?
Art: And Herc’s like:
Art (as Herc): I don't know what you’re talking about. I don’t got any papers.
Art: And, you know…
Art (as thug): The shares. Where are the shares?
Art: And Herc’s like:
Art (as Herc): Uh, man, I'll share anything with you you want, [Austin laughs] just fuckin’ stop hittin’ me. [Austin groans sympathetically]
Art: And the guy’s like...one of the guys like chuckles, and you see him take out a pair of brass knuckles, and we like pan away to the suddenly harder sounding thuds. I didn’t move a die, so there’s that.
Austin: Alright.
Ali: [sighs] Okay. We see a wide shot of a hotel lobby. And it’s like slowly zooming in on Judy sitting at like a concierge desk. And she’s like sitting behind it, and she’s like...there’s a guy like leaning on the counter, and they’re just talking. He looks like he works at the hotel. He’s also wearing a suit, whatever. [Austin chuckles] And as they’re just having this conversation about like baseball or whatever, and it’s like the shot is slowly zooming on and on as they’re just, you know, coworkers chatting. And then like, finally, when it’s like, “why are we even listening to any of this?” it gets like really close to both of them, and the dude says:
Ali (as coworker): You know, Judy… [sighs] You really have a way with people. Have you thought about making a little extra money on the side?
Ali: And we just see Judy’s face just drop. She looks as powerless as she ever has in this movie. And the scene cuts.
Keith: I have a world question. Where are we with casinos in Blough? Blough seems like a place that has more and worse casinos than…
Austin: Um, I think we established in Messy Business that it had like gambling hall style stuff, but that was also in the future from here, so it can be whatever we want.
Keith: Okay. Jackie is still a dealer, but at a...just a much worse place. It’s not...it’s not trying to impress big and rich people with like flashy lights and big games and high stakes. It is just like a dumpy room with a bad table and a dealer— or maybe three dealers— and...I used to be a dealer, and I used to also sort of be the guy that, you know, watched over the floor. And instead there is some other guy that watches over the floor who’s much more serious about that job than I ever was about mine. And, uh...but I did get a job moving cards around, which I guess...I'm good at.
Austin: [chuckles] It’s something.
Art: We see Herc...in some amount of physical distress. He’s bandaged. He’s wearing— he has a cast. He’s walking with crutches, coming up to a suburban house. And he looks furtively around, he knocks on the door, and it’s answered by a...man who looks a little bit like Herc. It’s his brother, Vinny.
Austin: [chuckles] Good.
Art: And Vinny sees him and invites him in, and...they exchange pleasantries, and Herc’s like:
Art (as Herc): Vinny, I can’t do this anymore. You gotta...you gotta take this. You could...you’re more established. You have the people. You could do this.
Art: And he hands him the briefcase full of the shares.
Austin: Mmm. Would the audience at home recognize this as not Vinny Verandanza but Vinny Veranda? From season one of Bluff. Like, as an actor.
Art: Right, yeah. I really wanted them to be cousins, but I couldn’t say “My Cousin Vinny.”
Austin: You couldn’t do that, yeah. [Keith and Ali laugh] That’s true.
Art: Couldn’t do it.
Austin: Yeah, fair.
Keith: You could’ve said that.
Art: A great movie if you haven’t seen it. Give it a shot.
Austin: [chuckles] Yeah, but people would’ve thought of a different cousin, you know? A different character.
Keith: Oh, oh yeah, thanks. Our PSA going out: give My Cousin Vinny a shot.
Austin: Mmm. Give it a shot.
Keith: Give it a shot!
Art: If you haven’t seen it, it’s pretty good.
Keith: It is pretty good. It’s not just that one joke about yutes. It’s not— it’s more than that.
Austin: It’s more than that.
Ali: Marisa Tomei is fantastic.
Austin: She has incredible outfits that whole movie. Anyway.
Art: She also won an Oscar for that movie. [laughs]
Austin: Right! That’s true. That’s true.
Ali: Yeah, I'm saying she’s fantastic.
Keith: For the outfits or for acting?
Austin: No, for acting. For acting.
Keith: For acting.
Ali: Both!
Austin: For b— [laughs]
Keith: Best dressed.
Austin: Um...as—
Ali: Is it me again?
Austin: It is. Real quick, just as a reminder, Vinny Veranda was the uncle in A Boxing Al— Boxing alley. Jesus. A Bowling Alley, a Box— uh. Was it...what is it? It’s “A Boxer, A Bowling Alley, and a Bird”? Something like that? The first Fiasco game we did for Bluff? And then also the head of security during the Masks game, with the Veranda family. I put like three syllables in the word Masks just now. Pretty wild that I pulled that off. [Austin and Ali chuckle]
Keith: The Mas-ks-s.
Austin: Mas-sk-ss game. Maskeses.
Art: Which I guess does mean that um...Sonny could be Herc’s kid.
Austin: Could be Herc’s kid. Yeah.
Keith: Nephew at the very least.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Okay. We have another wide shot of just a location. And this time it’s an apartment. And it’s like one of those wide shots where you can like...you can see where the apartment door is, and then there’s like a little entrance, and then like...you can see into the kitchen, 'cause it’s one of those shitty apartment kitchens [Austin: mmm] where it’s just like a hallway. And then there’s the living room of the apartment. And at the door, there’s a man—the same man from the scene that we just saw—like with his back to the wall that he’s at, holding a gun. [Ali and Austin chuckle] And he’s screaming at the other two people in the apartment, which is a woman we don’t know standing at a table with a bunch of like bags of cocaine and money on them. [Austin chuckles] [laughs] Like, sorting through them and trying to put the stuff into a duffel bag while screaming at the dude at the door who’s like also yelling at her. And then like behind that, there’s Judy sitting on a couch. She’s in another suit. Her tie is untied. And she just has her head in her hands? And like, it’s their conversation. It’s this woman trying to do what she can. And then like, you can hear footsteps coming closer to the apartment, and like as the door opens and they’re shooting and that whole scene happens, the camera like moves from that guy and goes like to the left...to the...no, to the right.
[2:15:05]
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Ali: Because what it ends up doing is following that woman in the middle as she like grabs the bag, [Austin makes amused sound] grabs Judy, and then like they escape through a window that’s like on the other side. But it’s just like...as if it was like a Sonic level, right?
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ali: [laughing] Where like…it just goes forward.
Austin: It’s a 2D side scroller. Yeah, uh huh.
Ali: [laughs] And it’s Judy and this other woman just escaping while this dude has to deal with whatever shit she got dragged into.
Austin: Perfect. [chuckles]
Ali: And scene.
Keith: Hmm. This is my last one. Um… So, I think where we leave Jackie is after a long while of trying to get something going, to get a scam going, to hustle someone, and it’s just not taking? Like, whatever he had [Austin: yeah] in Bluff just doesn’t work. Like, it doesn’t...nothing ever comes out right. Or it doesn’t land properly, or people are just more skeptical, or...uh...you know. Nash was right that not everyone [chuckles] is as naive as him. Although, I think Jackie thinks that Nash organized the sinking of the boat, to take his money back. Because I don’t think Jackie knows that he did get his money back. He did get the chips back. [Austin makes amused sound] So, I think...I think we leave on...Jackie trying to find his way back to Bluff, and it’s not working. Like, you just sail...you sail out in that direction, and it’s just— [Austin makes amused sound] It just doesn’t go.
Austin: It just doesn’t go.
Keith: I don't know what happens. I don't know if it’s just like—
Austin: So, you come...it’s just, you go straight out, and then—
Keith: And you come back.
Austin: And you arrive at a dock, and the dock is back in Blough, right?
Keith: Yeah, that’s what I was thinking too, yeah.
Austin: And like someone looks up at you and goes:
Austin (as dock person): You catch anything today?
Austin: Except they say it in— I guess by now you’ve learned this language, presumably. But it probably still feels weird to hear it, right?
Keith: Yeah.
Austin: It’s just like…
Austin (as dock person): [slower] Catch anything?
Austin: And it’s like, whew, that’s not what I was doing.
Keith: Yeah. Whole lotta nothing.
Austin: Yeah.
Keith: Do I look— do I— do we think Jackie looks like a...how does this work, again? Do I look like a crab?
Austin: You just look like a person. You just look— I think you just— I think you just look like a person. I think it’s just the agents.
Jack: It’s only Concern agents.
Keith: The agents.
Austin: It’s only Concern agents.
Jack: Yeah.
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keith: But that’s my hobby. Sailing out…
Austin: Mm-hmm.
Keith: And sailing back.
Art: We have like a shot of, you know, a crummy little place to live. A thing like a townhouse, like a beatdown old place. And up pulls a very fancy car. You know, a Mercedes, some shit like that. And Vinny Veranda gets out, and he walks up to the door and knocks, and it’s answered, and it’s Herc in this house. And he’s...he never quite got back to normal after, you know, he walks like someone who’s been thrown down a bunch of flights of stairs. [Austin makes amused sound] ‘Cause he has been. And, you know, Vinny greets him, and he hugs him, and, you know, they explain— you know, how you doing, how’s the kids, whatever. Vinny’s kids. I really don’t think...I really don’t wanna...I just don’t feel like hearing about...I don’t feel like thinking about Herc’s—
Austin: Family, yeah.
Art: Future like that.
Austin: Uh huh, yeah.
Art: Yeah. And, uh...Vinny takes out an envelope, gives it to him, and it’s, you know, it’s full. It’s got money in it. You know, Vinny takes care of Herc’s expenses like that, you know, such as they are. And they don’t spend much time together. They never quite do. And Vinny leaves, and Herc goes and sits in his kitchen watching his small little black and white TV and looks out his window, and he can see up on the hill...I guess we established— there’s no hills at all?
Austin: No hills.
Art: I need to look at— I need to see in the distance.
Austin: There’s a— oh, oh, oh, oh. you know what there— you look north, we’ve established that there’s a sort of a...there is like the bluff. There is like the...almost like a higher plateau. There’s like another town, like the fancier town, just to the north of Bluff City.
Art: Sure. And yeah, I think from there—
Austin: Brigantine is the real one, and that’s like a little higher in terms of elevation. Anyway.
Art: But Herc looks out his window, he can see in the distance the giant fuckin’ mansion that Vinny Veranda has built. You know, his crew...
Austin: Yeah.
Art: Could deal with the company. And his crew was able to leverage that. And his crew runs this whole city now.
Austin: Mmm.
Art: And Herc gets his rent paid and his groceries bought for him, but he’s not a part of anything no more.
Ali: Is it just me now?
Austin: It is.
Ali: Okay. [deep breath, sighs] Okay. We see a shot of Judy sitting in a bar alone. She has like longer hair now. We could say that it’s like pulled up in a top bun, in one of those like really 80s...like hair bands?
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: Just to like establish the time. And I think that there’s an instrumental version of Whitney Houston’s “Greatest Love of All” playing. [chuckles]
Austin: Great.
Ali: We never get the lyrics, it’s just that.
Austin: Yeah.
Ali: And it’s just like her drinking and smoking at this bar. And it’s like her from the side. And then we see somebody come into the camera, like standing up. So we just see them like shoulder down.
Austin: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ali: And it’s someone who like is leaning on the bar, ordering a drink, just hanging out. And then he...he’s talking to the bartender, and then he asks, like:
Ali (as man): Hey, you know how I can make some money around here? [Austin makes sympathetic sound] I heard Bluff City, you know, land of opportunity.
Ali: And there’s a beat. And then Judy grabs his glass and throws it against the wall? [laughs] And there’s like 30 seconds of the other people in the scene reacting before she like— her body even moves another muscle. And then she puts her hands on the bar. Stands up in a way that like the seat drops behind her. And she slowly turns to the person next to her and just says:
Ali (as Judy): Get out. [Austin makes amused sound]
Ali: And then he’s like:
Ali (as man): What are you— lady, are you okay? Are you drunk? What are you talking about?
Ali: And then she just screams “Get out!” again. And then she screams “Get out of Bluff City!” And it’s just her screaming it over and over again. [Austin sighs sympathetically]
Ali (as Judy): Get out of Bluff City! Get out of Bluff City! Get out of Bluff City!
[“Hard Luck” track plays]