Seven Hells S04E07: Mockingbird

Welcome to the Seven Hells Podcast and for our part we promise to observe guest right; but only because we are terrified of being made to fly out of the moon door because we did way more than give Lord Baelish a little kiss and definitely not because we respect and appreciate your listenership.  Above all else we pledge, I, Jim Chadman of NSFWatercoolers, I, Matt Leroy of Beardie and the Beast, and hound for the Horror Honeys,  I, Dan Firnekas of the Firnecast to enthrall and engorge you with all things Game of Thrones S04E07: Mockingbird

General Revelry (Westeros Band Name/Genre)

Guess Dan’s Favorite Part: (There are internet guesses)

Matt: 3500 points

Jim: -7000 points

Internet: 0

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Episode Recap: (Culled from: Game of Thrones Wiki) (Reddit discussion thread)

•                 At King’s Landing Tyrion laments his fate in court and tries to turn Jaime around until he finds out that he’s the only sibling that Jaime cannot perform for, even though they both hate daddy, much revelry ensues until Bronn is inquired about.
•                     Still at King’s Landing Gregor Clegane (the Mountain) hulks the fuck out on a bunch of pussies who are all like ‘don’t kill me please, wah!’  and Cersei seeks him out to thank him for his swift return to be the realms champion vs Tryion.
•                       In the Riverlands Arya and the Hound (Sandor Clegane) encounter a dying man and pontificate with him momentarily until the Hound dispatches him right before being set upon by Lannister bounty hunters including Rorge who couldn’t make Arya’s list before being named, he is then thusly named and needled.  Also they find out about Jeffrey's demise.
•               Back at King’s Landing Bronn finally visit’s Tyrion in the dungeon only to lay out his upward mobility and remind him that he’s a sell sword and won’t be his champion.
•             In Meereen Daeny finally bangs Dario after discussing the role of the Second Sons in the new regime. Ser Jorah gets some advice past Daeny but only because he beats her over the head with a concrete example of why her plan is super meany pants. 
•                       At Dragonstone Queen Selyse is given a demonstration about how gullible medieval people are when confronted w/ fireworks.  And entreats Melisandre to allow Shireen to stay behind when they go north but is shut down hard.
•        Returning to the RIverlands for a round of FIRE BAD with Arya and the Hound!  And an actually semi-touching bonding moment between these two once the Hound allows Arya to clean his wounds, though the sting of a bounty from the Lannisters on his head seems to be stinging still.
•                    Still in the Riverlands Brienne and Podrick conveniently (maybe/maybe not) stop at the very inn that Hot Pie stayed at and he spills the beans on Arya after judging them to be trustworthy adding the bit about the potential for the Hound to be pursuing her as well Podrick deducts that they should check the Eryie by applying some of the little skill that he did take away from his service with Tyrion.
• At the Jon tries to convince the Night's Watch to barricade the Wall by blocking off the tunnels against the Wilding invasion. He is denied after being reminded of his place in the Watch and sent to serve as a sentry on top of the Wall by Alliser Thorne
•                       In the Eyrie Sansa broods over her lot in life, pining for her days at Winterfell, until that jackass Robyn shows up and earns himself a slapping for fucking with her sculpture (how the fuck did she make that).  Lord Baelish witnesses this act and to scold Sansa he quickly rams his tongue down her throat.  And wouldn’t you know it kissing in the middle of what could be the only open observable spot in the entire Eyrie will get you fucked up son.
•                                             Lysa then threatens Sansa with the moon door, only to be confronted by Littlefinger, Lysa takes this opportunity to confess all the bad shit Petyr made her do and then exits the Eyrie the hard way (or easy, guess it depends what your value of life versus mountain climbing are.)

• In King’s landingTyrion and Oberyn bond over memories of baby peen pinching, mother killing monsters, but mostly wanting motherloving Lannisters dead and wouldn’t you know the Red Viper is now Team Tyion by offering his services as Tryion’s champion.   (Kind of convenient seeing as Tywin had secured Oberyn’s service by offering him a duel with the hound.)

To Note: 

Women of Westeros aka Bewbs of thrones of bewbs

Dinkin around

Cards Against Westeros: (Used in Red) *

Episode Specific:

• Jaime had to respectfully decline the request Tyrion made to him about being his trial by combat champion because he was too busy _______D__________
• The Mountain’s physique is a mixture of proper nutrition, rest, exercise, and _______m_____
• Arya would probably spend more time _________M__________ if she knew what was waiting for her at the Eyrie.
• Daeny has a sure fire way to keep the leadership of the 2nd sons happy; basically she _____________D_____
• Bronn strategic prowess can be described as a mix of self-sufficiency, cunning, old-fashioned charm, and __M________________-
• The Eyrie's new slogan of ________D____ is a huge improvement over the previous iteration ‘The only Flight School in Westeros’
• Lysa Arryn may have killed, cajoled, schemed, and committed treason for Littlefinger, but her ultimate folly was her inability to _____D__________

• Hodor's genitals resemble a ______ holding a ________

• What some people consider violent sexual assault Geoffrey calls _______
• Tyrion Lannister began his ______________ in season 3 which he refers to as his ‘other watch’
• In King Geoffrey’s Westeros ___________ is next to godliness
• The Lord of Light’s expertise in fire elemental baby squirring and_____________
• When Jaime Lannister lost his hand it was extra devastating because it was his _________ hand.
• Petyr Baelish was not born with a house sigil so when he became powerful enough to warrant one it was curious he choose ____________,
• Varys genitals look like a ____________ choking the shit out of a _______________
• When Osha dropped her robes for Theon his ________ was forced to pay the iron price.
• Robb Stark and Jon Snow weren’t always so serious,  in fact they were a comedy troupe known as ________________ in their younger days
• Fire may not be the only thing that can slay a White Walker, in fact generations ago they simply _______________________
• A Craster family reunion can only be described as ______________
• When Daenery’s walked away from spending the night in a fire she not only revealed she was the queen of dragons but also ______________
• Khal Drago only loved his ________________ more than his horse or woman
• Milisandre can perform wondrous feat thanks to her faith; unfortunately it never helped her _______________
• Stannis Baratheon believes his is rightfully the owner of the Iron Throne, yet he still sleeps with a _________________
• Sandor Clegane aka the hound came to kick ass and ____________ and he all out of __________
• Yara Greyjoy may look like a half filled chloe sevigny blow up doll but she makes up for it by ________________
• Catelyn Stark finally warmed up to Robb’s new bride Talisa after a game of ______________ and the smell of wedding festivities in the air.
•  Samwell Tarley is able to maintain his rubenesque figure north of the wall by eating straight-up shortening and _______________
• Margaery Tyrell may be able to overlook many of her husbands faults but when he _____________ it crosses the line.