Seven Hells S04E05: First of His Name

Welcome to the Seven Hells Podcast and for our part we promise to observe guest right; but only because we are terrified of Bran incepting us and forcing us to do a chicken dance for a live audience's enjoyment and definitely not because we respect and appreciate your listenership.  Above all else we pledge, I, Jim Chadman of NSFWatercoolers, I, Matt Leroy of Beardie and the Beast, and hound for the Horror Honeys,  I, Daniel Lee Firnekas of the Firnecast to enthrall and engorge you with all things Game of Thrones S04E05: First of His Name

General Revelry (Name your squire and their duties)

Guess Dan’s Favorite Part:

Matt: 5500 points

Jim: -4500 points

Internet: 2000

Episode Recap: (Culled from: Game of Thrones Wiki) (Reddit discussion thread)

• Coronation or How Tywin got his groove back
• Cersei and Margaery have a delightful tet-a-tet

• Daeny Learns of Geoffrey's death and feudal lordship is hard; again doesn’t take Jorah’s advice and decides to do what queens do, RULE!!
• Petyr and Sansa take the long walk to the Eyrie and we get a geography lesson.
•  Lysa (must have an equivalent d cup implant for all that milk/robin is good actor? Is it same actor?) confirms life with her and Robin in the Eyrie would be somehow worse than her life in the red keep when Geoff was alive.  Petyr puts the dick in dickplomacy

• Tywin and Cersei sit down for a mutual interrogation/strategy meeting. Also the Iron Bank calls BS on the lannister always pays their debt saying.  Oh yeah Cersei still wants Tyrion dead

• Arya still counts the hound on her murder list.  (we when come upon my brother maybe we can both take a name off of our list- Sandor Clegane)

• Sansa gets an up close and personal lesson about mental illness from Lysa.  
• Brienne and Podrick perfectly set up their buddy cop spin-off.  (GO ON and GIT!)

• More Arya and Hound training in a more.... practical lesson as per usual

• Cersei continues her world tour of people we didn’t think she’d talk to and meets with Oberyn in regards to the safety of her daughter Mycella in Dorn also dont forget: fuck Tyrion

• Podrick demonstrates that only he can prevent forest fires and also that working for Tyrion doesn’t necessarily shape the most well rounded squire

• Things are going swimmingly at Craster’s Keep and Rape Emporium until the night watch shows up and Bran goes all Hodor on his captors. (seriously can anyone stay under lock and key in Westeros

)

• Rest easy nerds the writers found a clever way to keep Jon Snow and Bran (Snow wouldn’t allow Bran to continue if the met up... at least thats what Jojen postulates.)
• Crasters women do a fire dance around the keep and are for some reason suspicious of men

To Note: 

Women of Westeros aka Bewbs of thrones of bewbs

Dinkin around

Cards Against Westeros: (Used in Red) *

Episode Specific:

• Podrick was confused as to the details his new squire duties especially when Brienne asked him to _____Joe______
• Petyr Baelish is maybe the ‘Littlefinger’ that is puppeteering the downfall of the seven kingdoms but he still takes time to enjoy the little things lik  Dane __________
• The Lannister fortune has been spent away on wars, estates, ransoms, and also a surprisingly high amount on __Joe____________
• Cersei manipulates and schemes like a woman half as attractive and Matt ________
• Arya forgot just one name on her kill list: ______Dan______
• Daenerys is discovering that ruling isn’t nearly as fun as her previous job of __Matt_____
• After the fire was extinguished Crasters Keep had a new name:__________

• Hodor's genitals resemble a ______ holding a ________
• What some people consider violent sexual assault Geoffrey calls _______
• Tyrion Lannister began his ______________ in season 3 which he refers to as his ‘other watch’
• In King Geoffrey’s Westeros ___________ is next to godliness
• The Lord of Light’s expertise in fire elemental baby squirring and_____________
• When Jaime Lannister lost his hand it was extra devastating because it was his _________ hand.
• Petyr Baelish was not born with a house sigil so when he became powerful enough to warrant one it was curious he choose ____________,
• Varys genitals look like a ____________ choking the shit out of a _______________
• When Osha dropped her robes for Theon his ________ was forced to pay the iron price.
• Robb Stark and Jon Snow weren’t always so serious,  in fact they were a comedy troupe known as ________________ in their younger days
• Fire may not be the only thing that can slay a White Walker, in fact generations ago they simply _______________________
• A Craster family reunion can only be described as ______________
• When Daenery’s walked away from spending the night in a fire she not only revealed she was the queen of dragons but also ______________
• Khal Drago only loved his ________________ more than his horse or woman
• Milisandre can perform wondrous feat thanks to her faith; unfortunately it never helped her _______________
• Stannis Baratheon believes his is rightfully the owner of the Iron Throne, yet he still sleeps with a _________________
• Sandor Clegane aka the hound came to kick ass and ____________ and he all out of __________
• Yara Greyjoy may look like a half filled chloe sevigny blow up doll but she makes up for it by ________________
• Catelyn Stark finally warmed up to Robb’s new bride Talisa after a game of ______________ and the smell of wedding festivities in the air.
•  Samwell Tarley is able to maintain his rubenesque figure north of the wall by eating straight-up shortening and _______________
• Margaery Tyrell may be able to overlook many of her husbands faults but when he _____________ it crosses the line.