If you are a parent and suspect your child might be transgendered, or if a school (or other) official has notified you that your child is transgendered, or if your child feels she/he is transgendered, you are likely feeling many conflicting feelings and are puzzled about what to do next.
This handbook is aimed at shedding light on what seems to be a recent phenomenon, but which actually dates back several centuries.
We feel confident that if parents understand the history of transgenderism, they will better grasp the present transgender situation and how/why/where their (trans) child/teen is situated within it.
We will start with a condensed history of the transgender movement, followed by an overview of the current recommendations and climate, then finish with some concrete suggestions about how to best see your child through this crisis mentally and physically unharmed.
To fully understand the Transgender Movement, it is important to first understand the history. The current pro-transgender ideology has roots in homosexual history, both directly and indirectly.
Up until the 19th century, homosexuality was considered to be a criminal offense, both actively persecuted and punishable by death. The term “sodomy” was first used in the 11th century and originated from the biblical story of Sodom in the book of Genesis. In 1533, England enacted the first law criminalizing "the abominable vice of buggery" and making it punishable by hanging.
The first efforts at medicalizing homosexuality originated from legal efforts by medical professionals to decriminalize homosexuality by arguing that it was a condition due to an inborn defect or mental illness.
Karl Heinrich Ulrichs (1825-1895) was a 19th century German lawyer and an early proponent of homosexual rights. Ulrichs believed homosexuality should not be criminalized as it was at that time. Instead, Ulrichs felt homosexual behavior was hereditary (born that way) rather than a chosen behavior, and therefore, he contended that homosexuals should not be punished. He proposed a theory of a "female soul in a male body" as an explanation for himself and others like him.
The German physician Karl Westphal (1833-1890), as well as others, were influenced by Ulrichs's theories. Westfall’s writings also argued that “contrary sexual sensation” was inborn and should not be prosecuted but rather treated psychiatrically.
Westfall’s idea was translated into French by neurologist Jean Martin Charcot (1825-1893) in 1882 as “inversion of the genital sense” and Charcot argued that "inversion" was a degenerative nerve condition, which he considered to be a serious mental illness as well as a “perversion”.
One such paper by Charcot discussed various "perversions", among them he included both inversion (homosexuality) and fetishism, thus linking romantic same sex attraction with persons (heterosexual males) who garner sexual arousal from wearing/fantasizing of wearing, women’s clothing/being women.
Sexologist Havelock Ellis (1859-1939) popularized the term “sexual inversion” in the early 20th century. But it was Magnus Hirschfeld who coined the term “transsexual” based on previous theories of sexual inversion, i.e homosexuality, further solidifying notions of homosexual minds/spirits being “trapped inside wrong bodies”.
In the 1950’s, as greater medical knowledge of sex hormones coupled with past sexual inversion/homosexual/transsexual theories coalesced, sexologist John Money (who later theorized “Gender Identity”) began experimenting on “correcting” infants/small children who appeared to be intersexed (hermaphroditic), at first through surgeries and later with hormones if required.
At the same time endocrinologist Harry Benjamin (the Father of Transsexualism) began using “female” hormones to treat males he diagnosed as transsexual based on his Gender Disorientation Scale, a scale he heavily borrowed from Dr. Alfred Kinsey (the Kinsey Report-1948), combining Kinsey’s sexuality studies with his transsexual theories.
Benjamin would ONLY treat men who self identified as gay, with female hormones and transsexual surgeries, despite mostly having ONLY a heterosexual male clientele. These alleged “gay” men were candidates for sex changes to allow for their same sex attraction to appear heterosexual after transition. What Benjamin and other sexologists, psychiatrists, and psychologists did not foresee, were the large number of heterosexual (usually married with children) men who fetishized (were sexually aroused by) women’s clothing/women themselves to create underground groups/systems of communication with each other. Communicating amongst themselves and those like them, they shared this transsexual script Benjamin required for sexual transition.
In short, these heterosexual men would spout a general (presumed) effeminate gay male fictional narrative (story) that went something like this: They had always been girlish, liked girl things, since they were quite small, and later began having sexual feelings/attractions toward other males.
These types of false stories put these men on the fast track to transition. This way, their (pretend) attraction toward men, by looking female, they would instead seemingly appear heterosexual, rather than gay.
Since the 50’s and 60’s, transsexualism has been broadened to transgenderism, an umbrella term used to encompass/ensnare a greater pool of males/females who deviate even slightly from firm masculine/feminine (sexual) norms.
Also, the process of transition has greatly transitioned itself over time. Whereby, previously, a trans candidate would be put through a several year process before hormones or surgeries would be administered. Today, hormone prescriptions (“scripts”) are being issued after only a few brief meetings with a therapist/gender specialist and, even more alarming, in some cases, with no actual meeting at all, but issued through online “gender specialists” for a couple of 45 minute sessions.
The feelings/notions/ideas surrounding transition concretely date back to homophobia and established gender norms. Today, despite gay/lesbian progresses, even the best intentioned liberals reveal their internal homophobia by supporting and even encouraging transition for teens, even children who seem gay or lesbian. Nancy boys and tomboy girls are the new targets of the liberal left. Children, if left to their own natures and not mentally/medically interfered with, would likely grow up to be healthy happy adult gay men or lesbian women.
Meanwhile, professionals and parents alike are being force-fed the idea that children are “born in the wrong body”; and pressured in the current climate of political correctness to blindly accept the transgender politics, or else risk being deemed incompetent, unethical, uncaring and abusive.
It is precisely because of this current trend of all or nothing boyhoods/girlhoods that we put this handbook together. For parents who feel/believe there are dimensions of maleness and femaleness, for parents whose child is being labeled transgender by authorities (teachers, counselors, principals etc.), for parents of children drinking the trans Kool-Aid being issued from school soda machines, their friends’ home fridges and far too many virtual water coolers across the interwebs.
This DSM-5 diagnosis was formerly known as Gender Identity Disorder.
In order for a diagnosis of Gender Dysphoria today, one must exhibit a strong and persistent cross-gender identification (not merely a desire for any perceived cultural advantages of being the other sex). In children, the disturbance is manifested by six (or more) of the following for at least a 6-month duration and two for adolescents and adults:
In adolescents and adults, the disturbance is manifested by symptoms such as a stated desire to be the other sex, frequent passing as the other sex, desire to live or be treated as the other sex, or the conviction that he or she has the typical feelings and reactions of the other sex.
Persistent discomfort with his or her sex or sense of inappropriateness in the gender role of that sex.
In children, the disturbance is manifested by any of the following: in boys, assertion that his penis or testes are disgusting or will disappear or assertion that it would be better not to have a penis, or aversion toward rough-and-tumble play and rejection of male stereotypical toys,
games, and activities; in girls, rejection of urinating in a sitting position, assertion that she has or will grow a penis, or assertion that she does not want to grow breasts or menstruate, or marked aversion toward normative feminine clothing.
In adolescents and adults, the disturbance is manifested by symptoms such as preoccupation with getting rid of primary and secondary sex characteristics (e.g., request for hormones, surgery, or other procedures to physically alter sexual characteristics to simulate the other sex) or belief that he or she was born the wrong sex.
The disturbance is not concurrent with a physical intersex condition.
The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.
Gender Dysphoria while rare, has become so overblown it is synonymous with anything a child or adult locates specifically within the camp Male or the camp Female. Such as a male child/teen/adult preferring the colour pink. Societal gender norm extremes are making such preferences so uncomfortable, for many, general likes and dislikes can only become comfortable if/when performed as the imagined opposite sex. Gender Dysphoria, in the real, while informed by the external world (pink=girl, blue=boy), it does not occur because of the external world itself. Therefore pronouns or colours or clothing or bathrooms etc might make one uncomfortable, they cannot make one dysphoric. Dysphoria occurs through ongoing physical changes to the body, such as menstruation and possibly erections. Both however are treatable with understanding, shame removal, development of positive self image.
The political/social function of the transgender term is precisely to remove any and all exactness. This allows the confused, the young, the abused, the different/the wannabes and everyone in between to try on the transgender jacket. If one tries it on, one is more likely to make a purchase.
Popular Transgenderism-Trans Trends-Playing with Identities:
Some of the ways youths are trying on transgenderism is through surface alterations such as haircuts/styles, clothing, pronouns and chosen names. One, or a combination, or all, are then employed by the youth to be used usually with trusted friends. Any hints of approval or feelings of uniqueness and the youth will step up their transgender game. This may mean “coming out” to friends, parents, family, even teachers etc. Some youths are getting a lot of support and approval in their transgender garb, from family, friends and school authorities. Those that do not, have thousands of internet forums, promoting transition, and in the case of YouTube videos, bragging about how “great” it is now that they are on hormones or have had “top surgery” and how much “better” they feel, all urging the youth to persist in spite of obstacles. This surface trendy transition, in name only, isn’t truly transgender. It is potentially the beginning of becoming transgender, but it is not yet mentally/physically transgender itself.
Transgender-Trans Reality vs Trans Trend (Fad):
The Trans Fad, or as we refer to it, Trans Trending that has all too fast become all the rage, particularly among lesbian youth, consists of only the most rudimentary transition. Think of it as a kind of practice transition, since it requires no medical (hormonal/surgical) transition. But do NOT take these practice runs any less seriously than medical transition, because trans practicing can quite easily lead to medical transition.
Trans Fad Signs Your Teen may be Displaying:
There are numerous procedures involved in transitioning males and females, none of them sound, and none of them leading to an actual change in sex. All transition procedures are cosmetic first and functionality second.
Transgender Procedures for Teen and Adult Males
Some effects of male transition surgeries:
See Facial Feminization Surgery pictures here.
Transgender Procedures for Teen and Adult Females
Some effects of female transition practices and surgeries:
See Top Surgery pictures here.
See Metoidioplasty Surgery pictures here.
Transgender Hormone Treatment
Usually the first course of medical treatment for Gender Dysphoria is hormones/hormone blockers. If the Gender Dysphoric patient chooses to transition and maintain the appearance of the opposite sex, hormones will need to be administered throughout the course of the life of the patient.
Hormones used in Males transitioning for the purpose of appearing Female:
Side effects of Cross Sex hormone use in Male transition including but not limited to:
Lasting Cross Sex hormone changes in Males if Transition is stopped:
Hormones used in Female transitioning for the purpose of appearing Male:
Side effects of Cross Sex hormone use in Female transition including but not limited to:
Lasting Cross Sex hormone changes in Females if Transition is stopped:
In short, diagnosing transgenderism (Gender Dysphoria) is as fraught with complications as the hormones and surgeries used to treat the so called illness. If this weren't complicated enough, Gender Dysphoria is now being legally diagnosed/treated in children as young as two and three. Our world has taken a steep turn from earlier movements aimed at increasing gender limits placed on males and females, to diagnosing boys and girls who play with the “wrong” toy. For all the causes that both sexes have plenty reason to feel uncomfortable with, pathologizing and pathologizing for profit our uneasiness with a tighter Gender Straight Jacket, is only increasing this medically sanctioned self harm called Transgender.
We leave you with some general tips for parents/guardians, interested parties:
1). Try to listen without overreacting or judging. Reacting judgmentally cuts off the opportunity to have a meaningful discussion.
2). Remain calm and rational. It is important to create a safe space to discuss difficult topics openly. If necessary, simply say you need a bit of time to think about the situation before discussing further. Use this time to increase your knowledge on Gender Dysphoria.
3). Don’t over-empathize. Adolescents' emotions and ideas are often transient, and if you jump on the bandwagon prematurely, you can inadvertently reinforce an issue that may have blown over if left alone.
4). On the other hand, if you argue vehemently against what the adolescent is saying, it may provoke rebellion. Therefore, try to keep your responses loving in tone but neutral in content.
5). Gather information. Gather information at first by using open-ended questions to get a full picture: When did these feelings start to occur? What prompted these feelings? What is going on in his/her life right now? Etc.
5). Avoid lecturing. Avoid being condescending and try to avoid personal statements that will cause your child/adolescent to become defensive.
6). Communicate in clear, concrete terms and avoid wordy, abstract terminology.
7). Encourage research and critical thinking into the reasons behind the transgender trend and into the risks/complications of hormones and surgeries.
8). Redirect. Seek and encourage activities/interests that improve general body image and/or self-confidence, such as: weight lifting, sports, aikido or other martial arts, running, art, writing, crafts, etc.
9). Find positive, strong same-sex (gender) role models through books, TV, movies, articles, internet, etc.
10). Monitor internet use. Much of the transgender trend is fueled through online information and social media connections, where tips for dangerous practices such as breast-binding are freely shared and encouraged.
11). Attempt to determine if other issues are occurring which could be complicating the situation. For instance, depression, suicidal ideation, cutting, anxiety, eating disorders, peer/social or learning difficulties, relationship challenges, drug/alcohol use, etc. all could create significant distress and need to be considered and addressed. If a suicide attempt has been made or expressed, or even strongly suspected seek immediate assistance.
12). Don’t automatically give in to calling the child/adolescent by preferred gendered pronouns. For example, don’t automatically start to refer to your daughter as “he” or “him”. Don’t make a big deal about it nor be rude about it; but, rather, simply start by asking for their patience in your adjusting to the situation, and say that you need time to process everything, in order to buy you some time to figure out how to proceed.
13). Do your own research, and question what you read. When a news story cites a statistic, do they give the source of the data? If so, check out the actual source to determine how the study was conducted (How many subjects? What were the conditions? How long did the study last? Etc.). If no source is given, then it is likely that it is just more transgender propaganda being passed along to the gullible public designed to garner sympathy and promote transition.
14) If you choose or need to seek mental help for your child/teen or for yourself in the form of a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist, becareful. Many in the psychiatric industry advocate strongly for transition where gender deviations are expressed. We cannot recommend strongly enough to steer clear of Gender Therapists/Gender Specialists. Find a mental health professional who will be more objective and less subjective.
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