LEXAPRO - Thomas

my girlfriend started lexapro and suddenly after about 3 weeks she said she was “no longer in love” with me. we were together for over 7 years, we had problems in the past but our relationship grew stronger with the passing of my mother several months back. after just a few weeks on this drug, the woman that i loved who told me that she loved me every day suddenly grew agitated with things that she once admired. she grew weary of my talkative nature when she had always encouraged me to share with her. she planned her exodus so badly that she had to borrow money from me, get me to ship stuff to where she was going, and give her a ride to an airport that was an hour and a half away because the closer airport didn’t have a sooner flight.

she knows that something is up because she messed up the planning to leave me so badly, but she claims that she enjoys the way the pills make her feel, and she says that the “little things built up”. i had changed myself for the better because of her, but she said that just made her feel smothered. i could not believe when the woman who told me she loved me every day just weeks before had started to plan leaving me with no discussion, no compromise, and no chance to fix the little and insignificant things that she claims made her want to leave. she refused to see that in leaving, she was actually forcing me to make changes that would have actually fixed some of the problems that she claimed to suddenly have with the relationship. had to get it off my chest!


My boyfriend of 9 months starting taking lexapro for GAD about two months ago when we apart for the summer. Up until he began taking lexapro, our relationship was perfect– we never argued, had a great sex life etc. . He was so sweet genuine and caring. Now he has become entirely emotionless and has no sex drive. He just isn’t the same person I fell in love with. He has noticed the sexual side effects but doesn’t realize the emotional ones. I can sit there crying about how his lack of emotion hurts me and he just walks away and doesn’t care. He threatens breaking up for no reason all the time. I know that I have not changed at all. He also has started to drink way too much due to the lowered tolerance from the medicine. I love him so much and I know it is the meds that have changed him. This isn’t the kind of situation where I can walk away, because I know that the way he is acting is not who he truly is. His anxiety was not overwhelming before and I don’t see that lexapro is improving his life in any way. I cannot mention anything about the medicine because he gets so defensive and angry if I attribute anything to the lexapro side effects. Has anyone had any success in showing their partner how the side effects have hurt their relationship? or found a drug with fewer relationship damaging effects? I am so heartbroken and lost. I want the person I fell in love with back and not this cold zombie.

LEXAPRO - Miserable

My wife had severe panic attacks back in 2004 and was prescribed Lexapro by her physician. After beginning the drug, she would pass out very early and increasingly over time exhibited extreme anger and rage towards me. We seperated and she moved to Norway. In the Summer of 2005 she came off the medication and began to reconsider our situation. She returned here for several weeks and we quickly rekindled our relationship. She returned to Norway in early October and by November 15th began to get the attacks again. She returned to the medication and began exhibiting the same hostility towards me as previously noted, so much so that she felt we had argued when she had visited, and we had not. If anyone has found the same results in a loved one or in their own personal life, please e-mail me. I want to convince her to switch medicines if possible. We have children and I don't want a drug to destroy our opporunities of a happy life.

LEXAPRO - Victoria

My girlfriend had this problem. Or at least that’s what her mom and I believed. She “fell out of love” with me 3 times in the course of the first 6 months of our relationship or so, but each time she would realize it was the lexapro and her feelings would come back a week or 2 after the split. But after we made it past a year she went off the lexapro. I was thrilled! Because I’d always called it the devil pill because I always felt like it kept her from not only being sad, but also from being completely happy. I know that it takes a while for it to fully get out of your system and she eased off it the way she was supposed to, but I was more than dissapointed when it had the opposite affects I was hoping for…. She started to seem more and more detached and eventually broke up with me. Even after breakups she has always been very emotional towards me and has never disconnected herself from me. But she could watch me bawl my eyes out and not shed a tear along with other very in uncharacteristic things on her part. It’s been over 2 months since the breakup now and i know of I said I thought it was because of the lexapro she would just say I’m trying to find an excuse for the situation or something to blame it on. Her mom thinks its related also. I just want to know if it’s a possibility. (she is 18 and I am 20, lesbians) we were very serious, talking about getting married in a few years and planning out how we were going to start a family. We were no fling, even our parents thought we were in it for the long run. She’s the most important thing in the world to me and I’m just looking to make sure this couldn’t be a reasoning being our whole situation.


This brings tears to my eyes. I was in a relationship of four years. We were madly in love and clung to each other like no other. We experienced true love, which is natural and very healthy. She never could spend more than a few hours without talking to me, and when I left for a trip she called every second of the day. She began taking Lexapro and it completely DESTROYED our relationship. She has all single friends, and that made matters eve worse. She was instantaneously convinced that we were unhealthy, that I was too lovey, that she wasn’t in love. After experiencing 4 years of passion, sharing, and caring, she instantaneously ended it within a few seconds because she “didn’t care”. She called me and told me this randomly when I was at work…after I had found her a new job and much more.

This completely floored me and I literally walked outside and was pleading with her in the middle of the streets, in utter disarray. My love, the one who told me I ” you are mine forever” now didn’t want to know me. She has turned on me and blocked all forms of communication although we were about to get married! Lexapro ruined my life! Part of my soul left with that woman and Ill never get that back. IS there anyone who can offer a few suggestions?


My wife and I had a terrific marriage for 11 years. 1 year ago the Dr. prescribed LEXAPRO. Immediately her personality changed and got progressivly worse. She distanced herself from me and our 3 kids. It appeared that she had no inhibitions. She had sudden outbursts and then would act like a 16 year old preoccupied with herself. She began to flirt in front of me then talk about it like I was her best friend. She began to hate me and said she was disgusted in our marriage. She eventully had an affair and felt absolutely no remorse or guilt. She would rub the affair in my face being completly insensitive. Shortly, she began acting violent and samshed the windows out of my truck while I was at work (police officer). She then beat me and tried to steal the police car. There were numerous threats of suicide and attempts (knifes/gun) in front of our children. My wife NEVER behaved this way until the Lexapro. I know there is responsibility for what she did but at the time, I just assumed she cracked and lost her mind. I did not know my wife anymore from the time she began Lexapro. I left our home and filed for divorce. After 2 months, she quit Lexapro after trying to overdose. In a few weeks, she began to go back to herself completely. She told me that she does not remember being mean to me or acting that way I described to her. She cannot believe she would commit the affair. She said that she knew what she was doing but felt no guilt whatsoever. She said the time on Leapro made her feel nothing. She knew right from wrong but didn't care or even think about the consequences. She felt she did not love me anymore because she could not feel an emotion for me. She remembers the act and tells me it felt like she was raped. She consented but there was no emotion. It felt like she was watching herself from the ouside. This drug made my wife into a monster. I have only stated minimal incidents. It stems far greater. EVERYTHING my wife did was way out of character. We are Christians and were always very active in our church. She was a Sunday school teacher for years. I know things happen in life, but the immediate drastic changes in her personality was bewildering. Now that she is off Lexapro, I have my wife back (mentally and emotionally) and are working it out. PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM THIS DRUG!!!

LEXAPRO / Escitalopram - Junior

Smyrna, GA

I need advise, been married for 16 years.5 weeks ago doctor gave my wife escitalopram.I noticed a change! I found out she started cheating on me within those 2 weeks after. We where going to work it out, I told her about the meds, she said I'm crazy.yesterday morning was going good until she took them again, within 30mins everything changed.telling she hates me, that she needs to work it out with this other guy couse shes in love. With 3 weeks! So I forced her to go to the doctor again, she was angry, I had nothing to lose by now. they said it was the drug, they gave her new one, that she is slightly bipolar. She more angrier told to leave, and there is no working out! I love her so much, is it the drug still in her or have I lost her to another man? How long does this stuff stay in her? Plz give me some advise I really have no one to talk to, I still wasnt anybody to know what she did couse I now its not her.

LEXAPRO - Laurie

Brockton, MA

Just found this site and thread. My husband of 29 years with two lovely teenage daughters, got on Lexapro and within 3 months decided he didn't want to live with me anymore and up and moved to his college town (of 35 years ago!) and left his family. Didn't contact us for Xmas or thanksgiving or anything. he always could discuss his emotions and suddenly he has no emotions what so ever. he says, "I care about you all, but I need to live alone." Very strange. He left an $86,000 job to take another one that laid him off soon after! The loss in income for our family is very difficult. I believe the antidepressant affected his brain. he himself was surprised at his behavior and asked his therapist if this could happen, and that jerk told him, "Never heard of it" My husband went with his desires and states he has no regrets, is happy. Needless to say, i will not treat my depression with an SSRI - I'll cry to new relations I am trying to form, and move forward the best I can. I would encourage the study of this stuff.

Thank you.

LEXAPRO / ZOLOFT - TBI husband affair while

Demotte, IN

I have read most of the posts regarding the taking of zoloft, lexapro, etc.. I can tell you that shortly after my spouses traumatic brain injury, he was prescribed zoloft. Fast forward 11 months, my spouse leaves me for another that had no contact for 30 years, stating "they were meant to be" and should have never marrid me. Devastation followed and I could not understand what I had done. Fast forward 6 months, off zoloft for this time, behavior near what it was after injury, damage done great, 30 years of marriage destroyed. Trying to work things out, but so many hurtful things were said and done that I'm not sure we'll ever be okay. This medicine can work, but at times it has devastating effects on people. This side effect MUST be addressed.


My husband now says that he has to divorce me. He says that he has so many problems and until he gets divorced from me and that I make him crazy and he cannot be sane I guess until he divorces me. He still goes off on the weekend and says he stays in a motel/hotel by himself. I just find this so hard to believe. Why would him divorcing me have anything to do with whatever is wrong with him. He says he will not be at any place that I am at, including my son's basketball games. He has to totally wipe me out of his life the way he talks and with a child, I do not see how that is possible.

He will be talking to me so nice and then boom right in the middle of the conversation will start being hateful and mean and talking about divorce, etc.. It is like he is 2-3 different people and it is not just with me either, it is with other people, because they have asked me what is the matter with him.

My little boy even asks me why his daddy is acting "crazy". I just don't know what to do anymore.

Any ideas as to why he feels so strongly that he just "has" to divorce me? I asked him if there is someone else and he said "someone else, I have so many problems and I have to get rid of you before I can handle those" or something to that effect. I just don't see how getting a divorce is going to solve anything.

If it would help him get well or he really did not love me I thought, I would just let him go, but I believe deep down he does love me as just 6 months ago before he took the Lexapro he told me that he loved me and whatever it took for our marriage to work he would do. It just does not make sense to me.

LEXAPRO - need_help

Lorton, VA

I've read most of the posts on here and I'm finding many of these stories to be disturbingly similar to what is currently happening to my relationship. We've only been going out for 6 months or so but things moved fairly fast and we had fallen in love. Not too long ago she began taking Lexapro for her anxiety and everything has taken a turn for the worst. It's like she's become a completely different person and she has said things that simply don't make sense, like that she doesn't love me and never did (completely contrary to everything she'd ever told me a month before). She frequently changes her mind about this though and its just left me confused and sad. We're still together, but I can tell it wont last long if things keep going this way. She just doesn't seem to feel anything anymore. I know that I'm young and that if things don't work out I can definitely move on with my life but even so its absolutely heart wrenching. I do care very deeply about this woman and not only would I feel completely ripped off if what has so far been the most rewarding relationship of my life was cut short because she was needlessly prescribed an SSRI, but now that I've read up on them I'm scared that this drug may very well have the potential to do her permanent damage. If I try to bring it up she immediately shoots me down and makes me feel like crap for bringing it up claiming that she needs it to be healthy. Is there anyway that I can reach her?

LEXAPRO - Charley

I think that Lexapro and other SSRI's seem to react differently in some people than others. I have read that it worked great and also that there were severe side effects. What I have witnessed in a friend taking Lexapro:

Extreme anger, Violence, Suicide attempts, Loss of Inhibitions, Emotional "Numbness", Severe Depression, Mania, She could not feel love for her husband, Sexual Promiscuity, No emotions, No Remorse for actions, Inability to cry over serious life issues, Attempted to jump out of a moving car (several times) Obsessive behavior, Doubled her dose, Lost everything.

I have known her my entire life. This did not happen before the medication. When she quit and after some time, She seemd back to herself. A very loving friend and compassionate person.

Be careful before you take medication and do research!

CELEXA (citalopram) - Steve

Canby, OR

I have been following this discussion for quite a while, I guess I should add my story. I noticed about 6 months ago that my wife was acting distant and her body language led me to believe that she was avoiding contact with me. I confronted her about it and she said that she didn'nt think that she loved me anymore and that she could not remember when she stopped loving me. She had been sleeping alot and when she was not sleeping she liked to loose herself in word games on the computer. I should backtrack a little and say that she had been on Lexapro for about a year and the on Effexor for about four months. She started taking Lexapro for mood swings. I believe that she has Perimenopause and that is the reason for the mood swings. She has about half of the normal Perimenopause symtoms, including iregular periods and hot flashes and night sweats. Early menopause also runs in her family. Her doctor simply said that at 37 se was to young and did not listen to her. Now back to the problem, I convinced her to get off of the Effexor and things seemed to be getting better. After a few weeks she was wanting sex every day, this was more than usual and she started to watch softcore porn on the cable channel. This was out of character for her but it was better than the way thing had been so I went with it. After about a month without my knowledge she went back to the doctor due to the moodswings, this time she was prescibed Celexa. One of the things that pisses me off is that every time she goes in to the doctors office she winds up she someone else. They also never follow up to she how she is doing on the new meds or indicate how long they expect her to be on them. My opinion of most doctors right now is that they have no idea what they are doing with these drugs. After a week or two on the Celexa the sex was over and she started to check out on life again. Again I confronted her about the situation and got her to taper off of the Celexa, she has been off of it for 3-4 weeks now. The headaches are over, the moodswings have been replaced with with iritibility and she does not feel like she loves me. I know that it takes time to return to normal or somthing close to normal, but how long?? This situation is killing me and I don't feel like I can do anything about it. She has been trying some natural things like Sam-E and progesterone cream but it has not helped much. Today I bought her some 5HTP to try. I hope my rambling makes some sense, I have not been sleeping very well and I am a bit of a mess. Again if anyone can give me an idea on how long it takes for this stuff to get out of the system please let me know. Thanks, Steve.

LEXAPRO - streetbob

Downingtown, PA

The stories here sound like mine except its Lexapro. My wife of 31 yrs.just told me she doesn't love me anymore hasn't for 20 yrs. every body we knew thought our marriage wes very good including me. In 6 months we went from hugging and kissing (grossing out our kids) to her fileing for divorce in 6 months.She doesn't want counseling or anything. almost all who know and love her says she has changed. she says its not the meds. this is destroying our family in almost every way. Does anybody have any ideas on how to save my marriage?

LEXAPRO - Greenie

Oak Forest, IL

Hello everyone!:

My girlfriend Emily has become an entirely different person from SSRIs-- a person she is disgusted by. She feels like she has been possessed by a demon and cannot break Lexapro's grip. She is currently on 10mg. Our relationship is in shambles. I am trying to help her the most that I can. You can read about her story athttp://www.paxilprogress.org/forums/showthrea...

LEXAPRO -SaveTheWorld

Austin, TX

I hear your pain as well as all the others that have posted on this site and battled with SSRI antidepressants. I married the love of my life 23 years ago, we had a very special bond from the first day we met and rarely argued (we were each others best friend) 10 years ago my wife was prescribed Lexapro from PMS. She was very concerned that during "that time" of the month she would some times get "snappy" with me and this hurt her because she loved me so much she did not want to take out her PMS on me. At the time I told her that it was no big deal (her PMS) but she started taking the pills. Our world changed within months and at the time I could not figure out what the heck was going on and what happened to my wife (I remember thinking that it could not be the pills because they were prescribed by a doctor and they know best). I will spare everyone the full story but as happened to so many who have commented here, my loving wife stopped caring about everyone but herself and then told me that she felt more like room mates than lovers. Eventually she had multiple affairs and one with another girl. I knew in my heart that something was not right and there had to be something that was causing this chaos because the girl I married would have never had an affair let alone one with another girl. I was not going to quit on our marriage nor the girl I loved, the pain of what she did was more than most could every tolerate but something in my gut kept telling me that there was a reason for the madness. Just by chance, I started to research Lexapro on the web and discovered all the dirty little secrets that the makers of these drugs never want the public to know. I shared much of the information I discovered with my wife and we came up with a plan to get her off the meds. She started at 20mg and then tapered down to 0mg within four months. By the time she was at 10mgs I started seeing major changes in her personality (for the good) and I saw the girl that I married slowly start to reappear. It still took several months for her to get back to the "old" girl I married but I can happily tell you she is back (the girl I married) The sad part of this story is that she now has to find a way to deal with everything she did while she was on the meds. She can not believe how she could have every done those things but she did. As she explained it to me, it was like she did not care about anything and was just existing. For those of you going through this hell I tell you it can get better, but you have to get rid of the meds. On the meds my wife would lie about everything but that was a side effect of the emotional blunting that occurs over time. Some day I will take time and post the full story with the hope it will save someone else out there.

LEXAPRO / PROZAC / EFFEXOR - Sad Father of Three

Tallahassee, FL

I am living the same stories you all are describing. My wife of 20 years has left me and my children. She has been involved in an eight year-long affair. This started when her Prozac was increased and continued on and off for years. She has used several different anti-depressants and when she walked out on us she was on both Effexor and Welbutrin. She tried to come off Effexor and crashed. When back on the drug and then tapered off. She remained off of it for three months. The depression was so bad (according to her) that she is now on Lexapro. I must admit that when she was on Lexapro her behavior was the best. But she remained in the affair when on the drug. Now she is gone and filing for divorce. She remains in the affair with the guy and sees nothing wrong. She has turned from her friends, family, church and everything that we built together. She blames me and the kids for her life. I am not angry (I still Love her deeply) but and very sad for her. She was active in church and a committed Christian, an engaged mom and awesome wife. Not she is unrecognizable. A shell of herself. I would caution many of you that alcohol plays a big role in the mania phases. So please make sure your loved one does not drink. My wife was taken advantage of by the other guy because he saw her weakness for drinking while on the meds. I see this now and other indications but was blind then because he was a friend. Please visit:www.marriagebuilders.com and watch the videos with your spouse before they start the meds. Even if you are not a Christian, please watch it for the good info that may be able to save your life.

LEXAPRO - K Taylor

New Westminster, Canada

Well I have delayed writing in response to your Topix, as my girlfriend just started Lexapro/Cipralex on New Years Day. The doctor started her on 5mg and then she was to up to 10mg after two weeks. Well into week three she became quite emotionally unavailable and the differences were stark! I fear for our relationship.

We always used to eat together, she always liked to see me. She would call me from work and would enjoy going places with me. Since week 3 (they say changes are in full swing with Lexapro after 3-4 weeks) she has stopped eating with me, ever. She rarely wants to see me at all, when I do she comes over, sleeps the entire time and then wakes up and leaves. Her sex drive that used to be very high (1-3 times a day) has hit rock bottom (once in the past six weeks) and she now enjoys spending time alone more than spending time with me or what seems to be virtually anyone else.

She has lost a ton of weight and only eats while she's working. She also has taken up a serious gambling addiction. Fearing the worst outcome of our relationship I try to get her a bit closer just so that we can talk; I haven't had a conversation with her in almost five weeks she now says that I am being too needy and it's making her claustrophobic. She has been on Lexapro now for almost two months.

LEXAPRO - thomas

my girlfriend of over 7 years decided around week 3 that she no longer was “in love” with me. i found one forum, but that didn’t impress her much, she chose to focus on those who said they were in “unhealthy” relationships.

we were so very close, around each other a lot, and had time to talk. after a few weeks on lexapro, she claimed that my talking to her got on her nerves. she accused me of not listening to her when i used to always praise her contributions.

my mother passed, 9 months later i was even more appreciative of her, and felt that i was deeper in love with her than anyone in my 40 years. because of the timing of my mother’s passing, she claimed that i started to smother her and she “couldn’t be my everything”. all the while, i was showing my deeper love for her by telling her how much i appreciate her. the more i expressed my love for her, the more she started to back away.

after over 7 years of knowing each other, having small fights in the past that were resolved and then no fights when i lost a loved one and appreciated just having a partner that i love by my side, she said she still loved me but was no longer “in love” with me.

she planned poorly, getting a “soon as possible” plane ticket once a long distance friend invited her. she failed to get a better price, or just wait for money she knew was coming in. instead, she spent everything for the ticket, forcing her to depend even more on this person that she can’t live with suddenly. she needed me to ship items ahead of time, and she couldn’t wait for a flight from a closer airport. she had to fly out of town from over an hour away. she failed to consider the possibility that there were vehicle problems because she had stopped listening.

i’m not a “relationship expert”, but this was not rational behavior, and i had no idea what to do but just ship stuff and bring her at great effort to her destination. online friends who had no idea of what’s going on were quick to provide an escape, assuming that i must have done something horrible if she suddenly wanted to leave so badly.

i do not believe that this was coincidence, or that there were deeper relationship issues. instead of having any kind of talk about problems she was having, she suddenly stated her intention to leave immediately. i even asked her if she thought that over 5 years of saying “i love you” back and forth made it worth the effort of “counseling”?

so, i’m pretty cheesed, and thought i would put in my .02. I see the woman I love take a pill for three weeks and suddenly she can’t stand the things that she once admired. I fell deeper in love, expressing my gratitude for the things that I might have once thought were “quirks”. I truly valued her and never made her think otherwise.

This sudden and unexpected change in personality was devastating to me. I will never recommend SSRI’s that are so casually prescribed. I felt like this person taught me how to love and it was taken away suddenly and unexpectedly by the last person I ever suspected.

thanks for inspiring me to blog about it myself and get it out of my system.


Sunderland, MA

My Ex boyfriend used to be wonderful. He was depressed when we first stared dating but after being with me for a while he started feeling better. His doctor not seeing the effect put him on a large dose of lexapro. We lasted a month after that and the broke up with me saying he was not ready for a relationship and now doesn't even want to be friends. When the doctor saw how much the lexapro was changing his personality they started taking him off. Before the drugs we were good after everything fell apart. I now know a few friends who had the same problem in their cases though the men came back after the drugs, I don't know if my case will ever have that chance. I just want to say I know for a fact in a lot of cases there are other alternatives to drugs like exercise and for SAD at least just getting sunlight everyday. I regret not getting my ex to do these things before he went on the drugs.

Amazing I keep reading and what you all have to say sounds identical to what I went through, my exboyfriend had been talking marriage, I wasn’t ready because we hadn’t been together long enough, but I didn’t want to discourage, since if my feelings lasted as long as I think they will I would have married him. Three days before he broke up with me he grabbed me and pulled me towards him and said he NEVER wanted to let me go. Three days latter he said he had been thinking about breaking up for me for a while. It made me mistrust my trust in him and it made me very mad, but before the drugs we were so connected it is hard for me to let go. I really don’t know what to do, because I mean had he been fooling me, it is possible, but I think he would have been fooling himself as well. I want to want to wait from him but his last email made it quite clear he doesn’t even want to see me ever again. I wish I knew for sure it us the drugs because he should be already off of them and be going through withdraws. Frankly I am starting to feel insane. If any of you have any encouraging words I would be grateful, this is a very hard time for me and I just wish my ex was in his right mind.

I would like to add something else seems to me these drugs only make more people for these drugs. First the people I have seen on the antidepressants, including some of my family members and now my ex never seem cured only doped up, all of them zombies when normally they are cheerful and energetic people. Second the loved ones who are effected by the mood swings and in the extreme the total dumping get depressed and trust me my friends keep telling me to go to a phycologist, my answer, it was a phycologist who created this problem. This is really starting to make me mad relationships are hard enough without people playing with brain chemistry for minor depression. Something needs to be done about this, popping a pill never fixed anyone’s life and everyone knows that. Maybe the medical system should actually proscribe daily walks or exposure to sunlight or something, because as a nation we are depressed. Oh I do not denigh the extreme cases of depression and those people need something to function.

LEXAPRO - thomas

Baton Rouge, LA

girlfriend of 7 years, living together for over 6 started taking lexapro. three weeks later she turns to me and says that she doesn't love me "that way" any longer. she insists that she must make changes to her life, and because she has a long distance friend to move to, she goes there.

before lexapro the relationship really felt strong. there was no abuse, and we were able to be together all the time and enjoy just talking to each other. the decision to leave the relationship was sudden, with no interest in working things out, or even attempting to make changes that could have improved the relationship further. the only valid complaint i could get from her was that "the little things built up over time". that doesn't make sense because she never was irritated enough with those things to let me know how serious it could become.

the way in which she left the relationship was also stunning in the fact that she spent all her money on an urgent ticket, she is disabled, and she wiped out her funds on the ticket alone. that meant she would have to ask me to ship some items to the place she was going to, she would have to ask me to loan her money so that she had some just in case, and she had to ask me to take her to the airport for her flight out.

i was stunned by her admission that she wanted to leave the relationship, so on the first evening, i tried to point out the possibility of it being the medication. i never lost control of my emotions (i am not on any meds at all), because i held the belief that she might figure it out. she said that she enjoyed the way the medication felt, and she would prefer to keep taking them. i was devastated, laying around for a week, barely able to do the minimum to help her with all of the things she asked of me. my mother had passed 9 months previously, so my feelings for her had grown and i would often let her know how much she was appreciated. since the passing of my mother, i had even gotten my emotions under control, not sweating the small stuff, being grateful for what we have instead of losing temper over something trivial. i started to enjoy her quirks even more as time went on instead of them irritating me.

when she started this drug, she started to get more easily agitated, she would sleep a lot, and it seemed like she ate more. she is already disabled and morbidly obese, so the decision to take a flight so suddenly was not like her. she would have to buy 2 seats, and she would need handicap assistance to fly alone. she would even need to bring items with her to help with her disability so she could get by without help for some things from her long distance friends.

i should have done more research on this in the one week i had to talk to her before she left, but i showed her this forum and she blew it off and still insisted that she had to leave a "co-dependent" relationship. the irony is that she is disabled and requires assistance for many things. her decision to leave to be more independent is a shock because she seems to assume that she will succeed no matter what. some things she complained about could have been easily resolved, but she did not want to work on it at all. i will never recommend the use of these drugs, i saw a change taking place in someone that i thought loved me as deeply as i loved her. i loved her enough to change things about me for her before she started the drug. after she started it, she said "i can't be your everything" after years of saying she

loved me. i am shocked and horrified by all of it, and now even if she changed her mind to come back, i worry that there could be mistrust that could never be overcome.



My husband was on lexapro for 10 months.In this time he managed to have an affair,and be really obnoxious and super cocky in his personality,he swears it was the side effects of lexapro and that it was not really him,he only remembers bits of what he done.He claims to be a innocent victim of lexapro side affects! should I belive him??

I am really looking for diffinitive proof that he is right.Has anyone else heard of specifically lexapro doing this to people??.

LEXAPRO - worried


hi my husband was put on lexapro 3years ago while on them he had an affair and lied about everything i never gussed it was going on as he was a quiet man and i always encourged him to go out. He was alwas telling me he was afaird i would have an affair on him now i dont know if he has had more affairs and just was covering them up he is off lesapro now and is trying hard for our marrige to work but i am finding it very hard we have been married for 16yrs and have 2 great kids age 9 and 4. He seems to think we should just forget about it as there is nothing we can do about it so life goes on much the same but it is eating away at me because i am a very proud person and we not do anything to hurt my family i do love him but feel like i am in a different marrage now and dont feel safe he seems to think if we dont talk about it then it did not happen.

bye for now



I have poured over the internet and been accused by my partner of being totally obsessed by the drugs, but I just couldn't understand how after 15 years of being the most loved person in the whole wide world that suddenly I could be told that there were now no feelings whatsoever towards me in their head or their heart other than we were just best friends.

My experience was with the drug Citalopram.

After about six months on 20mg the dose was increased to 30mg. I didn't see the tell tale signs of change that I can now look back on. The major change was after a big bout of vertigo which lasted about 2 months. Once the vertigo stopped I was told that my partner felt a big shift mentally and they now no longer wanted to be in a relationship any more. That big changes were what was needed along with independence and a huge urge to be their own person. He now wants to move out of our home, rent an apartment, change careers and not be in a relationship. The deluded part is that the finances are just not their to achieve this but he is intent on pursuing it anyway. He has started drinking after 25 years sobriety, is full of new social confidence and lives for his social life that does not include me. He has a infatuation with another woman that is totally out of character.

I have persuaded him to stop the tablets and after tapering them by 5mg a week for 6 weeks he has now been off them completely for 3 weeks, whilst he is now irritable there are no signs of any change to the rest of his emotions and there is no change to our situation. He is still unfeeling towards me and intent on having his new life. I am still living in hope that I will see a return to the loving caring sensitive person that he used to be.

LEXAPRO - SadGentleman

Grand Prairie, TX

This has been awesome information. I am just another guy out of thousands who has experienced the SAME exact thing. My partner for over 5 years began taking Lexapro and spontaneously 2 weeks later decided that she never loved me after we were planning a child and new family. Its crazy how these things have ruined lives and no one cares. Its funny though, I was told the whole " I am happy we are not together, this helped me see who I really want to be" speech from my loved one yet she STILL calls me in the evenings right before she takes her medication. Hence, when the concentration is at its lowest in her bloodstream she begins to become slightly more rational about her feelings. Then the next morning she is back to her cold-callous self and acts like she hates my guts and when I answer my phone. Then she gets mad at me and tells me she is distancing herself from me? Haha. This cycle has continued for quite some time and the doctor only takes her word that she is perfectly OK.

Unfortunately, unlike most others on here, her friends are actually encouraging her behavior and have completely convinced her that she should hate me for some strange reason. In the past I learned they were some pretty shady characters as they continually tried to break us apart so I have realized that they just fed off of my initial anxiety towards her depart and convinced her I was a maniac. Things have become so complicated so I just have learned to be flexible and calm. That is normally when she calls me just to say "hello" ( although she swears that she doesn't ever want to talk to me again). These meds can go to hell for all I care. They seriously ruin lives but I think we all need to keep a slight sense of humor for our own sanity.

I now literally have a chart of when she will call me and this is directly related to when she takes her Lexapro. Sure enough its is always 8-10pm each evening, and she will call as her normal self laughing at my jokes. This was the same on the 4th of July, she called drunk and on her meds ( dangerous). She told me her whole thought process; that she was trying to convince herself that she didn't love me, she was afraid and confused, and that she didn't like herself yet couldn't stop her urges to do wild things. So yes, I have become another victim but yet I love this woman. So until then I can only advise that we all get hobbies and stay put. They will come down off of their "high" and realize true happiness is with the ones they love. What struck me is that one night she called and said " I need to make myself happy with cursing, partying, and drinking", then woke up complaining how she felt so empty inside. The above comment concerning Dopamine was spot on and really helped my understanding.


LEXAPRO - Ambersss

Morris Plains, NJ

Hello everyone

I have a very similar thing happen to me recently.

My husband took his first pill of lexapro in January this year. 2 weeks ago after 7 months of nightmare I had no choice but to file for divorce due o the fact that he was trying to literally put me and his only son on dire street with no penny in my pocket, after 20 years of marriage. My husband which was the most honorable truthful man I have ever met in my life , all of the sudden turned into lying , cheating, manipulative , disrespectful person I do not know anymore.

My husband who hated bars , parties and drunk people and loved to read books in his free time, now spends all of his time in bars and partying with his new friends that happen to be heavy drinkers and drug users. My husband who loved me and his son more than anything in the world just told me 2 month ago that our family , our marriage , his son ,means nothing to him , that he was never happy with us, that we have used him and control him his whole life, that he was mentally abused by me and that now while he lives with his mother he is finally happy . I was living a nightmare for last several month trying to figure out what was going on . I even set up an appointment for marriage canceling for us , 3 times in a rw, to which I went alone, because he had to go shopping at exact time of appointments.

I started to think that he was going crazy, but it seamed no one but me and our son have noticed the change in him. He managed to convince his whole family that he has absolute right to become a rock star and age of 44 , as he joined a band which plays in local bars every weekend and all the holidays. When he does not have his gig he is partying like crazy. He celebrated his birthday in a bar without us, afterwords he showed us a photos of his birthday cake and him having his birthday in local bar with his drunken friends. One weekend he invites his friends over for BBQ. 5 females and two guys showed up , they all got drunk , and started acting in a very Inappropriate way in front of our son.Next week on Saturday night I follow his car, he told me he has another gig in bar , so i follow him because he acted very excited that day and i just have that gut feeling that something is going on and i found him entering a private residence , which i later on find out belong to one of the females that came to bbq party, a week b4. I wait for him in the car by that house , he went there at 9 pm and left at 3 am. I managed to be home before him as i speed up like crazy and when he comes back home i confront him about that giving him exact address when he was that night.... what he does??????????He is Laughing in my face , telling me how dare I control him and that IT IS NOT MY BUSINESS WHEN HE GOES AT NIGHT OR WHAT TIMES HE COMES BACK HOME.

Next day he moves out with his mother. The rest you know.


Well I found out about this and other places on the internet where people are talking about all the crazy behaving family members at the beginning of September. At first I was very skeptical , I could not believe that one small pill which was supposed to make him better made him into monster but as I kept reading more posts this was exactly , and I mean exactly my husband's words and his attitude .So I called his doctor I was very upset at that point , because I knew it was not my husband anymore and I demanded of her not to give him any more of those pills. At first she said , that I should not blame everything on the pill, so I told her that I have known my husband for 20 years and that what was going on with him after starting lexapro was not him. She told me that she will not prescribe him anymore pills then I think he is off for maybe 7 weeks now. Unfortunately he does not seam to get any better. He knows that I have for divorce but he is acting very happy about the whole thing, its almost like I have to remind him every time I talk to him , because he is acting like nothing happened.He did not retain a lawyer but he went and got $40 000 car a week ago. 2 nights ago , while I was out he came over and remove the hard drive from my computer ,and took it with him ( go figure?????) I'm on the laptop now.It was my personal computer and he never used it , he had his own. My husband was a very bright , intelligent man when all this started. He has masters in computer engineering and MBA. Now when I talk to him I have to remind him what I was talking about at the beginning of our conversation.He acts like 90 years old dementia patient. It's terrible . His son is so crashed over this that he wakes up at night with panic attacks , and not being able to breath. Thinking of how happy we very and how beautiful life was b4 this pill is killing me, it tears me apart.


Downey, CA

There is definatly something about these medications that effect the emotions. Common sense they are doing what they are suppose to do . What the doctor prescribing the drug is not thinking about is how this will effect the persons life as a whole. My husband started suffering from anxiety attacks 2 years ago . The Dr. Put him on lexapro he started withdrawing from me but I was too busy working two jobs I did not see it. I convinced him to change his meds to see if that helped the way he felt . I should first mention he moved ourand anothee woman was succeeded in making him leave me for her. I never gave up on our marriage because it wasn't in his nature to abandon his family like this . I knew something was wrong. HE was put on wellbutrin . Suddenly he started getting his feelings back. HE still teeter with his anxiety . Dr. Put him on effexor she said it waa a cure. Yeah right. My husband is fading away again he says he'll stay but only to see if he can get that feeling again. It seems I should sue the doctor. We told her he did not want the same thing happening again. He was upset but realized it was the meds. I am in the process of demanding he be taken off these meds. He is in denial again refusing to believe its the meds. Even knowing how he was on wellbutrin. They analyse there though process because they would rather not feel the feeling of death. Also the other woman is trying to manipulate him back to her. Not haappening.

LEXAPRO - Donna 2

Dalton, GA

I too am about to loose my husband after being married 21 years. He has been on lexapro for 5 months i guess. and since being on it he's gained lots of weight. laid in bed all day. And now here is the clincher that has me worried. 1 year ago he was being text by a co worker and almost had an affair but stopped it before anything happened. came home to me and told me he was sorry and he loved me and would never leave me. never.

Now since being on the lexapro he's asked me for a divorce. he says he loves me but doesnt feel the emotion towards me and wants to be happy. So he left. just like that.

I was so shocked after hearing this i feel like i have to be sure that it is or is not the drug. However he is not seeing any one, and has no desire to be with anyone. Sounds like the Lexapro is taking my husband form me. Sure we have some problems in our marriage like not communicating, or spending time together, but we work different shifts and we lost touch with each other. But i knowwe can get that back. However he doesnt want to try. Its like he has put up a barrier around himself and wont let me get close.

Any suggestions on what i can do. I love my husband very much and i can't stand being away from him. I thought about going to his counselor about this . But i know doctors claim the drug is not suppose to do this and its so successful.

But it makes sense. If someone is depressed or having anxiety issues. The drug blocks the emotions so you have no mood good or bad, no libedo, no loving feeling, and weight gain.

I need help!!!!!!!!!!

LEXAPRO - Hanging On To Hope

Minneapolis, MN

Donna! I literally froze when I read your post! My BF of 18 months left me abruptly after 3 weeks on Lexapro simply stating that he "lost the spark and doesn't feel the same for me". Done.

This was a man that snow plowed the street during a snow storm so I'd have a place to park after work, who told me that this relationship was important to him and he'd work on it when we hit a rough spot, he said that he'd stick with me through medical school no matter how trying it would be on our relationship, brought up marriage frequently, proposed living together, said that if this relationship is going to end that I'd be the one to end it, said that he hope I wouldn't leave him, and of course, that he loved me. He began Lexapro for some anxiety issues that resulted in lack of sleep, and some minor depression. We had no fights, no fallouts, nothing indicative of a breakup.

I am absolutely devastated. I stumbled upon this site (amongst many others) after googling "he said he lost the spark", simply because this came out of nowhere and it simply did not make sense.

Then it all just fell in place when key phrases like "lost the spark", "no longer in love with you" and out-of-nature apathetic behavior all pointed to one, plausible possibility...antidepressants, more specifically SSRIs. It's been 3 weeks and I still cry every day. I feel completely hopeless, and more upset at the fact that I lost my BF to antidepressants.

My heart breaks for you! Just know that you are not the only victim of the effects of these SSRIs. I am still debating how I am going to approach this, because its a delicate situation. It's like trying to take the car keys away from an intoxicated alchoholic, there's no reasoning with them, and they'll end up resenting you. Hang in there lady!

LEXAPRO - Get off Lexapro

Naples, FL

My marriage of 25 years is over. I blame lexapro. His last words to me before he left were "I feel numb" and "I don't care about you anymore".

He'd been on lexapro for about 2 to 3 years at that point. Had moved out of the bedroom, stayed up all night, lost his job, started doing things he never would have done, being financially sneaky, having an internet affair which later turned into a real affair. These symptoms are a just the drop in the bucket.

Prior to lexapro, he had panic attacks. The panic stopped but he completely changed, became extrememly angry all the time, beligerant etc. He had the "grandiose" narcissistic attitude going on. Nothing mattered anymore and he didnt and still doesn't care how his actions impact his children, his wife, his uncle who has helped him tremendously. He has quit 2 or 3 jobs since he left. I still love the man I know I married but it doesnt matter. He's now numbed himself out of a perfectly fine marriage.

Our divorce will be final probably in the next month or so.

It makes me incredibly angry that prior to lexapro we had issues, but nothing any different from other couples out there and we dealt with them.

He loved me. Now he doesn't because he can't.

His latest thing is he "just wants to be alone" but can't explain why. He doesn't want any relationship, just alone.

This is criminal on the pharmaceutical company's part. Their antidepressants prescribed like candy are wrecking relationships and lives.

Get off these drugs as soon as possible before it's too late.

LEXAPRO - Please help with Lexapro

Oroville, CA

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years, basically like a marriage. We own things together and have spoken of spending our lives together. He has always been the one to entertain and speak of future together. For the past 2 months he has been on Lexapro and he is like a different person!!!!!! I knew him pretty well, but he is so different right now! He broke things off with me 2wks ago and wants me to move out and divide all our stuff. We own a home and car and apt. together. I am just blown out of the water. NEVER saw this coming. Its as if he doesn't even care!!!!! SOOOOOO strange, esp when he has been the more emotional one in the relationship in the past. I don't know what to make of this, other than he is being affected by the Lex. He is also a doctor and said that Lex. doesn't have this effect on people that you don't have a "I don't care feeling", and that it doesn't selectively pick certain things in your life. But I am telling you he is more angry, yelling and being mean and the fact that he doesn't care if I leave tomorrow all the way across the country makes me wonder. Any thoughts anyone?????


Sydney, Australia

Hi this manic behavior is also happening to my wife but she is on lexapro. It seemed ok for a few years but after some work issues happened a doctor doubled the dose. Full on mania for a week. Only realized when I had to collect her from jail. We took the dose back down to the original dose but the behavior has continued its just not as extreme. Currently she has left me and I am trying to convince her to come off the lexapro. She defiantly acts different if she forgets her tablets for a couple of days. Misses me and is really loving. But then day four happens and she suffers bad withdrawals. So she takes a tablet and then I have lost her again.

LEXAPRO - ambersss

Morris Plains, NJ

Just like my husband .....on lexapro , he doesnt have any feelings for his only son anymore. He has even said that losing his son is not a big deal for him and he can handle it no problem.


It took 7 months of lexapro for my husband to decide he doesn't need his family anymore. Moved out and spend our lifetime savings within 4 months.

He is off for about 2 months however not much change. He is not so arrogant anymore and somethig about the way he was talking while on pill, that has changed , but he is still very self centered and just so darn

right about everything. I,m the devil in his eyes and i have highjacked our son,s mind and turned him against his father in my husband,s opinion. Our son is 19 years old .

On the day he moved out he told me that 20 years of marriage was a pure torture for him and he could not wait untill our son is out of highscholl to move out even tho our son is half way college right now , so he was suffering extra 2 years right? He told me all that after i cought him entering some womans house at night while he told he would be somewhere else. When i confronted him that night with exact address where he went and demand explaination he was surprised that i even dare to ask him any questin as it was not any of my business what he does at night because he is not my property and he can come and go whenever he pleases and that im becoming a control freak and im abusing him mentaly and such.

LEXAPRO - Yet Another One

Menlo Park, CA

Hi guys. I've been silently reading this forum for a couple of months now, and decided to share my story (finally) in case others can find help in it. Also, I already feel like I know most of you, and am so glad to have such a strong support system through this!

Surprise, surprise! Another identical story! My husband started taking Lexapro in mid October 2011. I saw him slowly grow detached from his normal world. Two days after Thanksgiving, about six weeks after beginning his meds, I get a phone call: "I don't love you anymore. I need a break. I have no feelings for you. I love you but only as a friend." In the next few weeks, I heard, "This is really me. I need to find myself. All I want is a motorcycle. I don't love you anymore. I don't remember when I did. I can't really remember if I loved you at all. I have never felt better than without you now." Story on the motorcycle: it was the ONLY thing that I forbid him to get during our 9 year relationship (married for four), so of course, he loved throwing that in my face. He screamed at me one second, cried the next, called me "babe" the next, his face would become glazed and he would look like he wanted me dead...repeat, repeat, repeat. He did not accept medication had altered him in that way, in fact, he said, "Lexapro was the best thing that ever happened to me." We had sex only once in December, but it was different--more animal-like, and the next morning, blank stare from him with no emotions.

Background info: We've had a hefty share of problems. He began "going crazy" (he used this term on himself) after his dog died in April 2011, which prompted his anxiety. However, my husband does not have status in the United States, which is why we got married in the first place (not like we weren't going to, but we were never the couple who cared about a marriage certificate). We've gone through (and are still in) an intense legal immigration battle--we've been told it's one of the worst in California (yay)! As you can guess, this has caused my husband tremendous anxiety. On top of that, we haven't had enough money to live on our own, and were living apart, then with my parents until my husband moved out May 2011 to live with his mom, citing that the pressure of living with in-laws was too much. Since then, we've been planning our future.-Talking about children (he would often initiate), buying a home, moving away, etc. Then, bam! His doctor gives him Lexapro. No more future. In fact, he told a close friend he wanted to divorce me in early December!-Which would mean HE WOULD BE DEPORTED! THAT'S how insane he is right now! I only speak to him when I have to about finances or court dates. He is a different human being, what I call and have often heard on this forum...a monster. Thank goodness we don't live together, and I've made the decision to stay with family in Europe until June this year. Husband stopped taking Lexapro first week of January 2012---was on 10, then tapered only one week to 5, then stopped entirely.-Fairly cold turkey. I am SO frightened of what's to come, and even more frightened of the many months it will take to see any glimpse of my wonderful, old husband. I am so impatient! I want this doucheb** gone! Sorry for the rant, everyone. Wanted to give you as much detail as possible in my first post, and

soooo much is still missing. Thanks!

LEXAPRO - Yet Another One

Menlo Park, CA

Okay, guys. Need help. Found out about the affair. Knew it was happening because of reading all of the stories on this site. Affair is with an Asian coworker with 2 kids. My husband (and PLEASE, no one be offended by this) was NEVER attracted to Asian women. He HATED kids. He even MET the kids. Husband quit Lexapro first week of Jan 2012 after being on for three months. Began the affair 1-2 weeks after quitting. Emotionless. "I'm not doing anything wrong." Same story. Tapered from 10 to 5 in a week, then quit. Someone, please give me advice. Anything. ANYTHING. I see the desperation you've all endured. And right now, I'm there.

LEXAPRO - amber

Morris Plains, NJ

My husband was on lexapro too, for 7 months. At this point he is 7 month off. Not much really changed. He has ruined our family, ruined me and our son emotionally. He is still acting like teenager.Careless, no regrets.His son is not talking to him since he moved out 7 month ago but he could not care less. I hope its gonna be different for you.

LEXAPRO stoicc1

Bethel Park, PA

Going through the exact same thing with my wife. Went on Lexapro - lost all compassion or empathy for others. Heavily involved in an emotional affair - does not see anything "wrong" with her actions. Family, friends, all appalled by her sudden changes - but it has been going on for almost five years. She has been off the meds for over three years, and although the peak extremes of her new personality are lower, the overall result seems permanent. I am a loving and patient man, but beginning to feel like a doormat. I hope and pray for you that she gets off, and returns to normal. In my case, it has yet to happen.


Bay City, MI

I am a 48 year old male, married 11 years with a 6 and an 8 year old who is currently dealing with a wife who has moved out, has a spending addiction and takes 20 mg of lexapro for GAD. I just met with her and her doctor this morning to see if the Lex could have any impact on her irratic behavior lately and/or her spending addiction that we've been dealing with for years. Of course he states emphatically that there is no way the drug has anything to do with her actions or the fact that she has no feelings towards me (and claims she hasn't for 6 years at least). He states it only evens out her levels of serotonin and if it did have an impact I would have noticed right away when first prescribed. Unfortunately she didn't tell me when she started taking it and I only really noticed major changes the past 6 months, which by the way was when he upped her dosage to 20mg? Go figure. She is broke but has moved out into a rental house, so we still have all the regular bills and she has more. Her individual account is overdrawn with 10 NSF's since she moved out only 3 weeks ago...rational behavior? Nah? It will all work out is her response...I want to scream but it does no good. Her family and friends have been alienated and ask me what's up? I have no answer other than the lexapro but she adamantly refuses to accept it could be a factor and now with her doctors support has reason to believe it. I'm typing this for my own therapy as I've had it...she can sink her own ship. I love her but my head hurts from banging against a brick wall named LEXAPRO!!!! If you are taking SSRI's please make sure you let your family members know to contact the dr at the earliest signs of issues. Good Luck.



Hi I'm new here and this is my first post, I have read hundreds of posts here and like most of you can relate, my husband suffered from anxiety/panic disorder/ agrophopia for 10plus years he is only 31, everyday was a struggle with his anxiety/ panic attacks consuming his every waking moment, he tried everything to conquer it but to no avail untill we decided he should try an antidepressant. We have been married shy of two years together for a total of 4 he was the most amazing friend, boyfriend, husband, brother and son untill he started taking lexapro 4 months ago.we were great together with all it's ups and downs we new our love for each other would always get us thru. He changed turned into a monster, is cold has done and said the most horrible things and declared he no longer loves me left our home and after one week of seperation wants a divorce we are now in the process of selling our house :( it's has been one month since he left. Now there's not point going into details of how his changed. But the man that I married no longer exists and it's beyond heartbreaking, the question I have though is most of the posts I read refers to exeffor/ Prozac does anyone have experiance on lexapro he is only on 10mg, the doctors says its the safest drug with the least side effects. I'm happy he no longer suffers in pain but cannot come to terms at what cost, he has thrown away a wife with a marriage which all his friends admired, pushed away friends and his amazing family.. We all see the changes since the drug and have tried very hard to show him but to no a avail.. He has read some posts which i showed him months ago and admitted the drugs have changed him... But now refuses to believe it... In his words "IS HAPPY AND FINE" and we are all crazy..

LEXAPRO  - God Help Me

Fresno, CA

This whole thread is my life right now.

My wife told me she didn't love me yesterday...never has.

I have loved her and she me fiercely over our nine years.

She was the kind of person who wanted to serve others (especially young women) with her life. It's what I do too. Now she sees no value in what I do and has completely withdrawn.

Her father is in town this weekend, thank God. She has sold him a bill of good about our marriage and he wants to meet about it.

Discovered this thread last night on a google whim, wondering could it be related to the 10 mg she's taking of Lexapro daily.

This thread makes me scared to death and have hope at the same time.

If you are a praying person, please pray that her father and I can join forces to have an intervention here. If not for me, then at least for our beautiful 16-month-old girl!


Knoxville, TN

When my now ex-husband started Cymbalta this same thing happened. He had taken other things, Effexor, Lexapro, but they did not affect him so strongly. He said he didn't want to be married and that the medication opened his eyes. I tried everything to change his mind...counseling, begging, you name it. I even offered for him to take a year away before he made rash decisions. He refused and now we are divorced. We were married 33 years (or it would have been on March 22, the divorce was finalized on March 4).

If her mother sees the change, you are lucky. You might have help in trying to get her to see. They seldom listen to the spouse, the MIGHT listen to someone else, especially a parent or friend. I had no one. His mother said she was staying out of it and that he was not that kind of man. He wasn't...for over 30 years......he had integrity and love. It all flew out the window.

I urge you to use the help you can whatever help you can from her mom and wish you the best of luck. It is a hard, hard road and one that usually leads to a dead end.

LEXAPRO - bblake1968

My W was on 10mg of Lexapro for over two years. Then her doc got the bright idea to double her dosage to 20mg (December of 2011). Within two weeks her attitude on everything was off the charts. Drinking, flirting, ignoring our children and her anger and hatred for me - all magnified beyond belief. She decided it was time to live for herself and herself alone.

She realized several months later that she was actually not feeling ANY emotion at all except anger - she simply doesn't care about anything. She knows she should get off of Lexpro - we have discussed it several times, but, I think she's afraid.


London, UK

After taking cipralex for 2 years my husband is now sleeping in a bed and breakfast, my children are under child protection and no one would listen to me that his paranoid, irrational behaviour as totally out of character. Psychiatrist kept him on the medication and said his problems were marriage problems. I was totally in love with my husband who was loving kind, caring, honest, always saw the bestin everyone and changes to a suspicios, paranoid, angry, aggressive person. No one would listen to me. My children lost their dad and I lost my husband of 10 years




Well, my husband has been of citalopram for 11 months, he is back with avengance, he is the loving kind husband I used to know. He says he has very little memory of cheating on me or his erratic behaviour or indeed how nasty he was to me. Perfect...yes?

Not quite, I have been damaged and hurt more than I can explain on here. My life was torn to shreds within just a few weeks. My question is how (even a year later) do I 'move on' or 'get over it'. I know it wasn't his fault and that he wasn't in control. But how the hell do I stop feeling sickened by it all and how do I stop thinking about it and blaming him?


Clay, NY

Hi everyone,

I haven't had time to read through this whole thread, but plan to over the next few days.

I have been together with my wife for 8.5 years and we have been married for about 2 years. We had always been a very happy couple with hardly any fights. With plenty of trips, pictures, emails, texts, etc to back up how in love with each other we were.

We were not perfect and did have some fights, but most of them were small. The biggest issues she brought up were we disagree often on what colors to paint our rooms and what colors we chose for our wedding.

On Thursday night she told me that she hasn't loved me for years and has felt "indifference and numb" towards me for the past 6 months. She told me she wants a divorce and is planning on leaving me, but is willing to see a marriage counselor for a short time.

A little over a year ago she was diagnosed by only a "registered physician assistant" as bipolar and was given Citalopram. I was there when she was first diagnosed, but was not involved in any followup exams to track her progress. She has now been taking Citalopram for over a year.

I brought up all these examples of SSRIs being a cause of falling out of love that I found online and gave her the paper that Helen Fisher wrote back in 2007, but she says she is still able to love other things so she doesn't believe that it is the medicine. She really thinks she has just not been in love with me since before we were even married...

I asked why she didn't talk to me before this or tell me she was ever unhappy so I could have setup therapy. Her response was that she tried her best on her own and if she couldn't do it by herself a therapist and I can't help her.

She said she would get off the medicine, but refuses to go see her doctor first. She feels she can do it on her own because she thinks she is fine and that the only reason she was taking the Citalopram in the first place was because I was forcing her to.

So I have a few questions...

1. If she does get off of the Citalopram do I try to keep her staying in our house or let her go live with her parents for a little while?

2. Are there other instances of this where the person falls out of love with their spouse, but still can fall in love with other things in life, including other men?

3. Have I just lost my wife to a drug that was supposed to make her better?

If anyone has any links that might have been posted in the past 490 pages that I might have missed please send them to me.

Thank you so much for this thread. It has given me a little bit of hope because it might explain how irrational she is acting right now.


Thanks to therealme, I am a spouse of someone who is lost to Celexa, he has agreed to taper off the medication. During his medicated time he has been with prostitutes, had affairs, developed a drinking problem, and parties like he is 17 not 29. He tells me he cares about me, but has no love for me. It hurts like hell. He was a saint before the medication. I have prayed for him in church and given him over to god...I try to show him some posts and this forum where people have gone through similar issues. Your post has given me hope.

CITALOPRAM / CELEXA - unable to cope

Newark, OH

My girlfriend of five years and fiancée started taking Celexa for her depression. Five weeks after starting the medication, she left me after a small argument. Never, in spite of all my efforts, was there any desire on her part for reconciliation. She's been gone for a month now.

The real reason she left is that in those five short weeks, the drug depleted her dopamine and destroyed her love for me. I first believed that she left for the reasons she stated. That was until she admitted that she slept with a friend only a week after leaving, with a smile on her face.

I knew then that this was not the same trustworthy, devoted girl with a heart of gold that I wanted to spend my life with. She had been transformed into a cold, emotionless person. I know that she isn't herself anymore. After that incident I researched the medication and it's effects on relationships, which has led me here. I'm trying to make her see what has happened was no coincidence. Just after the drug took effect she decided she didn't love me anymore. She no longer cares about children or a family.

She is in denial. I don't know how to deal with losing the love of my life to a drug. She doesn't realize what has happened and I'm afraid that by the time she does, the damage will be too severe. How am I supposed to ever be intimate with her without thinking of the guy who took advantage of her? How could I ever commit to her not knowing if she is going to abandon me again?

I guess I have to start over. She may never come out of this. It's just a damn shame that I lost my whole world due to an irresponsible Dr., pharmaceutical company, and an one bad decision on her part. We need more awareness of this subject. Grief and sadness are a natural part of life, not an illness that should be treated with drugs.

CITALOPRAM - notwavingbutdrowning

I’ve found it is both heartening and saddening to find so many stories similar to my own. I had been with my fiance for 18 months. Just under a year ago, we decided he was in a very happy place, and it was time to come of the Citalorpam (20mg). The doc tapered him far too quickly, and he had a horrible reaction, which involved phoning me as I was driving to work to tell me he could never see me again and he had to end things. I was devastated, but after I worked out what had happened, I got him back on the full strength, and after about 2-3 weeks, he was back with me, apologising profusely that it ‘wasn’t him.’ A few months after that, things were going so blissfully well together that he proposed. We were due to marry this year, and were about to move in together (work commitments had kept us seeing each other once a fortnight).

But a month ago, he got very sick and didn’t take or absorb his Citalopram properly. The same thing happened: 2 days before Christmas, he called to tell me that he had ‘fallen out of love with me’. 2 weeks before that, he had insisted on taking photos of us posting our wedding invitations – that’s how soppy and in love he was.

It has now been over 3 weeks since he made the call, and although we have talked over the phone – and for 20 minutes when he made a 12 hour round trip in his car to tell me on my doorstop that he couldn’t see me again – his feelings of love have not returned.

It’s all over, and he feels nothing. WHen I ask him why he apparently ‘fell out of love’, he can only ever say ‘I don’t know’. When I ask him when it happened, he tells me ‘a week before your birthday (the EXACT same date he got sick and didn’t take the meds). But he won’t see it. He can’t accept it. He’s like a cold-hearted stranger who just wants to block me from his life. A month ago I had everything. Now I have nothing. Can someone please advise?


Yes. My wife and I were together 11 years. 5 months of Celexa and it’s done! We were happy, sold our property and cars and stuff to start a business together and now it’s gone. She’s cold and very much a monster! Falling out of love doesn’t make you a cold hearted B1TCH and become a monster, now does it? NO! Nice, loving ladies don’t just go from zero to CRUEL MONSTER and stay that way for no reason.

We’re not talking aobut just “falling out of love” we’re talking about people becoming cold hearted and hateful. If the spouse was an abuser of sorts and / or an alcoholic etc.. sure, understandable. BUT we’re talking about loving marriages, loving relationships, loving people that are being transformed into garbage, evil etc.


My wife drasticly changed after only 3 months on Celexa. 2 weeks before she started changing (flirting with so many guys and suddenly being distant) she told me how much she loved me, and begged me to never leave her.

Divorce will be final in about 9 hours. Feb 5. Divorce court will rule our Decree and give her what she thinks she wants.

She’s still cold, and distant. SOOO MUCH not herself… it hurts because my little baby, 3yo daughter always hates going home with her, says she hates mommy and wtf did she even learn that word? AND SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE”S SAYING!!! WTH! it hurts so bad. She was such a mommy’s girl,…. now she doens’t like her.

Haven’t seen her in almsot 2 weeks.

These drugs may only affect people this way about 15% of the ppl taking it, but you know what, THAT’S 14% TOO DAMN MANY! That’s too many families getting fked up.

People need to wake up… we’re not blaming the drugs as a crutch, because we’re talkin about COMPLETE BEHAVIORAL CHANGES… not just a person leaving a marriage.


I am so glad to read so many stories similar to my own. My boyfriend of 8 months began 20mg Citolopram about two months ago. Effective almost immediately, my loving, devoted, passionate guy turned cold and distant from me. He suddenly started making “jokes” about wanting to break up with me and I had to sleep clear on the other side of the bed from him because he didn’t like the way it made him feel when I was too close. I was the one who pushed him to get help for his extreme mood swings and it completely turned against me. We broke up a few weeks ago because he says he wants to focus on himself. He maintains that he loves me just the same, but with the way he treats me, it doesn’t make sense. We’ve tried to work on being friends but the sudden switch was too difficult for me so we are no longer speaking. Thanks to this medication, the person who used to tell me he loved me and was going to marry me every single day now thinks I’m needy and desperate.



Before I found this forum I was convinced that my marriage was over, that there was no hope at all. Technically, according to my husband it IS over but I do have a fraction of hope! I'm coming to find that SSRI's are evil.

Here's my story: My husband had been suffering from depression but had a huge aversion to seeking help, or even worse, consider meds. He's an Englishman and was living in New York with me and found life difficult there. He yearned to be home. In september of 2008 he had his wisdom teeth removed and was thus introduced to the glory of vicodin. Then became the slow progression into addiction.

He found percocet in February of 09'and began rapidly abusing, getting exponentially worse and soon incorporating xanax. In July of 09' he said that he'd began questioning his feelings for me, and wasn't sure if he was in love with me anymore. This was devastating news to me, however he was heavily drugged and incoherent at the best of times. So you can't really read much into what a person in that state has to say. Regardless, it killed me.

We separated but despite this, his addiction progressed even further and he needed constant supervision. Rather than get into detail, it was hard work. His friends and family were in England and I was all he had. He detoxed cold turkey, which was quite a painful week for him. Doctors said that the psychological effects can persist up to a year post detox, maybe more. Lucky us! I wanted to make our marriage work and I knew a change needed to be made for his sake. On October 26th of 2009 we left New York and moved to England.

He was exhilarated after a long anticipated return but that was very short lived as he began having symptoms of depression, anxiety and agoraphobia. All the while he'd been reassuring me that his confusion of not loving me was due to his addiction.

On Febuary of 10' he was placed on an SSRI, Celexa or generic citalopram, 20mgs. He seemed much more upbeat and closer to the man that I married than I'd seen in ages. The anxiety and depression began to return and then his dosage was increased in March of 10' to 30mgs. After this he became emotionally unavailable, detached, gained weight, easily agitated, cold, very selfish, no desire for sex nor affection and had days where he couldn't be touched.

3 days ago he told me that he'd never stopped questioning his feelings for me and that he explored it from every angle and finally decided that although he loves me, he's no longer inlove with me. We're now separated. He's staying with friends 3 hours away and has distanced himself from me in order to help me 'heal'.

The truth is, he's not been the same since his addiction but since the Celexa he's completely deluded and this is because he feels better. They got rid of the depression, his anxiety, he's even able to leave the house and be social. One side effect that they don't tell you about is, Oh yeah it works al right by numbing those negative feelings, but that's not all it numbs, it numbs EVERYTHING.

How this works? It raises your serotonin levels which nixes depression and anxiety but it reduces your dopamine levels. Dopamines are responsible for the feelings of being in love and attachment. There is no reasoning with a person in that state because in short, You think that you're fine because it doesn't hurt anymore.

At this point the only alternative to save this marriage is to convince him that his medication is causing these issues. Other than that, I've no other alternative but to move back to NY. If he can't make the connection between the pills and his feelings than there is nothing that I can do at this point. SSRI's kill all emotion and end marriages. Just read all 1,200 + posts on this thread. There are more all over the internet. I wish everyone the best and hope in my situation my husband comes around and sees reason.

CITALOPRAM /  CELEXA - Punched in the gut

Bellingham, WA

First of all, I'm really glad that I found this site. I was really excited about it at first, then of course, I realized that it doesn't make any difference that I know the cause of all this.

We have been together for six years and married for three. My wife began taking 20 mg of Celexa about three months ago for depression/anxiety. So, about three weeks or so ago, something happened that should have given me a warning. My wife was on the computer and asks me if I knew that something like 85% of second marriages fail. Then she would not elaborate on why she was looking at that.

Then, a couple of days later, she calls while she is out of town at her parent's house. She said that we were in a rut (which we have been for quite a while).She said that we are more like roommates and she doesn't know if she wants to be married. This was obviously a huge shock to me. We get along amazingly. We have never, ever raised our voices at each other. Instead, we are able to calmly discuss our differences. We crack each other up constantly and enjoy doing the same things together.

A few days later when she returned, she matter of factly told me that she wanted a divorce and just wanted to live as a single woman. We have been in the adoption process for almost three years. All she has talked about since I met her is having children of her own, now she is going to call off the adoption, live on her own, and see "what makes her tick." She immediately started discussing plans on how to settle the house which has an upside down mortgage, and what stuff goes to whom. If she saw me looking too comfortable about things, she would mention this stuff. She said that she was trying to rip the bandaid off slowly. She stopped saying I love you back when I said it, and stopped holding my hand because she is afraid it would give me hope. The first time I said I love you and she said nothing, she started laughing. I asked her later about that and she said it was just nerves. I don't think I have ever heard a nervous laugh from her before.

I told her that the problems we are having can definitely be fixed, and we can come out better for it. She said she doesn't want to fix it, she wants a divorce. She said its not fair to me or my kids if she stays around and doesn't love me. She switches back and forth between its things I was doing wrong, to its all her fault. She has told me she loves me like one of her best friends, that she loves me but is not in love with me, etc. One thing that struck me is that without any discussion of antidepressants, she said that after she started taking them, her thoughts became more clear and organized. She said this allowed her to make this decision to divorce me. That's when I stumbled upon this site.

She did agree to go to a counseling session with me "for closure". During the session, the Dr. asked her questions and found a couple possible issues she may have. Then he pretty much gave her another excuse for leaving by remarking on the fact that she hasn't ever lived on her own. I brought up what I thought about the Celexa and he said you may have a valid point, but after discussing it with her and she still thinks the same, then that is not the cause. She, like most others, does not at all believe that the medication has anything to do with it. I wish there was a way to convince her.

She allowed me to go to her GP with her and I mentioned the same thing. He said that he would taper her down to 10mg and switch her to Wellbutrin. She still has a couple more weeks of the Celexa. I am not really hopeful about the change in medication but we'll see. Has anyone overcome this with a switch in medicine?


My wife Julie and I were very happy together until her GP put her on Citalopram. A week later she left me saying that her feelings had died. Two months later her love for me had returned and we had a wonderful 2 years of marriage. Then she decided to come off of them, her GP put her straight back on Citalopram and Julie decided to double the dose. Of course within a couple of weeks she left me again saying that she did not love me anymore. She has been double dosing for 5 weeks and I have shown her this and other web sites showing that whilst she does not feel depressed anymore, all of her emotions are virtually non existant.

Citalopram has ruined our marriage, our very happy marriage.

Be warned!


Macon, GA

Well the new doctor said my husband was severely depressed and should not have been put on Celexa , she said he should have been sent to a doctor that could help. She said that he cannot be held accountable for anything that he did while on Celexa. She also said thst I have no grounds for divorce on adultery and that she would support him in court. I told her I don't want a divorce just my husband she says he knows what he did in his head but not yet in his heart, I guess he will as the meds get out of hi system. CELEXA TRIED TO STESL MY HUSBAND BUT IM TAKING HIM BACK "SCREW YOU CELEXA!"


Columbus, IN

My wife and I have been married for 14 years. We have had a good marriage. Last year she started to get upset with me drinking beer. We fought about it and after a few months i told her I would quit and I did. She started taking citalopram. Everything you guys are talking about happened. She distanced herself from me. Started talking about me behind my back. Said she didnt know if she loved me. Told me to get out. I was on my knees crying and telling her I would do anything to save my marriage. She just had a cold distant look. She has always been a person who cries easily. She doesnt cry at all now. She only yells and screams like a child. Her emails are the only way I can talk with her. She says she doesnt know what she wants. Says she lost herself. She seems cold and emotionless. I dont even recognize her. I have told her I love her for 5 weeks with no response. She says she just wants space. I cant take it anymore. I told her to file for divorce or I would. She has had me in limbo for over a month. I have cried, begged, asked to go to counseling. All with no response. She acts fine in front of her family and has them convinced I am an abusive monster. It is sad. I have given up. It took about 2 weeks for the meds to change her. Now she says it wasnt about the beer but instead it was a bad marriage. She only thinks about negative things and remembers nothing about the good things in our lives. I have been with her 20 years. Now I dont even know her. She gets upset at the very sound of my voice. I asked her if she loves me and she doesnt respond. She is cold and heartless on those meds.

CITALOPRAM - miserable man


I am currently in the same situation as many of you

and I am glad I found this website because your posts are very interesting.. However I must admit to being confused about the situation I find myself in and can't decide if the antidepressants are to blame or if I am clutching at straws because I want to believe the reason for my pending divorce is due to the tablets as its the only thing that gives me hope for a reconciliation now she is in the process of tapering her medication.

No ones relationship is perfect, but my wife told me everyday that she loved and adored me, that she would never change anything about me and that I could never dissappoint her I was her Hero!. We kissed and cuddled everyday and declared our love for each other (soppy I Know) we both thought we couldn't live without each other. She suffers from social anxiety which has became worse lately. We thought it may be due to the menopause, however the doctor decided it was just anxiety and prescribed Citalopram 20mg. We praised its results as within days my wife felt so much better and said it was the best she had ever felt emotionally. Daily life was so much easier for her and I noticed no changes then towards me. Almost a year later my wife decided that her life with me is boring and wants more excitement and to feel part of life again.(mid life crisis or what) She has fallen in love with another man and is totally infatuated with him even though I don't think he is actually available just a new drinking friend. She now wants her freedom and independence to see what the rest of her life has to offer and has started going out to the pub on a regular basis because she is now confident enough to talk to strangers and finds it fun. Our old life is boring and she has no feelings of love for me(except as a friend because of our 30 years together) she has started to pick large holes in our relationship and my personality. This is sending me crazy because I am left with the memories of all the beautiful things she has said and done for me daily up until a few months ago.

So I ask myself now, is it the tablets that have taken away her love for me (because she still has feelings its just that they are for someone else) or have they enabled her to become the person she has always wanted to be that doesn't need me? She seems quite rational in her views despite the huge change in personality. Her explanation is things change, feelings change, nothing stays the same!

Did your partners seem quite rational about their feelings on the drugs and how did those feelings change once they were completely off the antidepressant? What she has said is still going to be remembered by both of us. Can the tablets make you feel and say things that are not real or do I just have to realise that this is now what she genuinely wants and really feels.

If you have any experience of this and have come out the other side please can I have your views on the reality of this situation.


I took Citalopram 60mg a day for over 2 years and once i stopped i could still not acheive orgasm and had no emotion or feelings for a good 10-12 months.

I only found out and understand why i felt and functioned the way i did very recently. Before i just thought it was simply my depression and anxiety. The worse part of all this is my girlfriend has been suffering from anxiety at work so i told her about citalopram and how it helped me. And since she’s been taking it all her feelings for me have stopped and she wont even talk to me anymore. Weve had our problems but nobody can change so drastically in the space of 2 weeks it’s just not possible. We have been in love and happy for 3 years and it seems to all have ended so quickly

I really wish i found this article and others ive read before recommending citalopram for my girlfriends anxiety. I feel like ive killed my own relationship and there’s nothing i can do to fix it


Basildon, UK

I am new to this site and thought I would post my experience so far. So not to labour the points I will say quickly that my wife of 15 years is on Citalopram. Like many of you have experienced she says she no longer wants to be with me we are only best friends, she loves me but only as a friend, she has feelings for someone else and she is drinking more etc.(surely this can't be a coincidence)She agreed 10 weeks ago to come of the pills. She did a 5 week taper tapering by 5mg a week from 30mg to 0.(she has been on the SSRI for about a year) We are now 5 weeks since taking the last pill. We are seeking alternative meds in the form of Tyrosine, 5htp (seratonin) and eating foods with high dopamine (Organic Turkey, cottage Cheese, walnuts).

She is having no withdrawls symptons but is very low and depressed again which really saddens me.

She is adamant her current feelings for me are true and today asked me if I am only helping her to win her back. I told her I am helping her because I love her and worry that if she stayed on the SSRI's she would end up in a bad place eventually. She will be 50 this year and her drinking worries me. A lot of the personality traits she is showing at the moment seem to me to be exaggerated parts of her personality and others seem to be out of character. In conversation her reasoning seems logical and intellegent so of course I worry that when she is drug free our relationship will still be over. She talks about how her depression feels and many parts of her reasoning for our relationship being over are true. After 15 years together we are best friends and passion has been replaced by comfortableness. The only thing I am sure of is that she loved me before the SSRI's and I will never be convinced otherwise. She agrees she did but now says feelings change and I worry that they do because people break up all the time with no SSRI's involved. I will continue to help her but I do fear that we may not get our love back. Apart from 'Saving the world' there seems very little evidence on this site of many success stories. If my wife continues to progress of the pills I will of course post any outcome positive or negative. I hope this is helpful to othes in the same situation. I am scared to death of loosing the love of my life. At 50 myself now I am frightened for both our futures, She tells me she thinks her the drugs will have helped us both move on?????


Boca Raton, FL

Here I am on spring break with my son. My wife is on a cruise without us. I took him on vacation. I have never been on vacation without her. It doesn't seem to bother her though. Didn't even bother to let us know where she was going. The citalopram made a total ass out of her. My old wife pre citalopram would never have went anywhere without her boys. Now she could care less. No feelings whatsoever for what was. Just her new life. Amazing. She has ruined everything that we had. I hate her for this.

CITALOPRAM - rejected


I am finding it hard to sum it up cos I just don't know what's real anymore. I have been rejected by my partner after almost 17 yesrs together. Yes she was on Citalopram for a year beforre she decided she loved me but was not in love with me. Yes she has changed more confident more sociable more oppinionated forceful no inhibitions does no care what anyone thinks about her likes to drink and parry now instead of being a homebody so I identifcy with all of this from what I have read. She treats me badly with no remorse too. My problem is with how she says she has felt about our relationship cos it scares me that she really believes it.

She says she wants changes and wants to find herself. That she has followed in my shadow and its always been me that's been the breadwinner and now she wants her own career and her own space and not to be looking after me anymore. She says she moved away from her friends to be with me and move with myy job and has always put me first. Now she wants to put herself first. That I have made all the decisions and I have spoilt and smothered her and she no longer wants to be the needy person who misses me when I go away to conferences. This is all true I can't arggue with that so have I really lost her becaause the pills gave her confidence to be without me. She says they have done their job and she is coming off them. Do I wait for her to change back or is this who she really wants to be now ? Please help.

CITALOPRAM - Stressed to the hilt

South Ockendon, UK

Have just finished reading these posts, so glad I found this site. My wife has just left me bacause I was getting on her nerves pushing her to stay with me and try to work things out. She says she can't take the emotional barrage everyday, needs her own space, loves me but no longer is in love with me and does not want to be in a relationship with me anymore. Sound familiar! Yes The English drug Citalopram on it for about a year. Fell out of love with me suddenly after about 10 months on it. I know she loves me she always has but she is adamant that she does not. Am sorry she is leaving me because she has not taken the citalopram for 14 weeks now and whilst she still has a I don't care attitude, she does get stressed and anxious occasionaly and does occasionally show some remorse for the way she has behaved (Nasty/drinking etc) but she always tries to justify her bad behaviour by blaming me for the problems in our relationship a relationship before Citalopram that she loved.

She is leving me (we had a good life no money worries) to live alone with no real prospects for the future and being over 50 it really worries me where she will end up. I hope that when she moves out she misses me and realises what we had but if the drugs are still in play in her brain I guess anything can happen. She is definately not taking anything now I so hope she will get her feelings back am finding it really hard to let go and its slowly killing me and making me insane.


Columbus, IN

Things are getting better for me, however, the drugs still and I suspect for a long time have changed who she is. I still try to educate about what these drugs do...my cousin called me from Florida last night and told me her best friend is getting a divorce after using citalopram for 7 weeks...she was floored and wanted more info....I sent her to this forum....I have met about 3 people this week whos wives are divorcing them while on citalopram.....it is an epidemic. It really is. Anyway, praying for all of you.


Columbus, IN

SSRI DRUGS DO SOMETHING AWFUL TO THE BRAIN AND MAKE WOMEN HATE THEIR HUSBANDS..That being said, I met a woman this week who has been overly flirty...has offered sex, has even invited me to come over to her house when her husband is away, has sent me messages that are way more than just sexually explicive....I mean she acts silly...I checked into this person....She was saying things like she wanted sex, but hated her husband touching her. She stated that her 20 year marriage has been awful with no emotional connection....She has told me I'm sexy...that she needs someone she can connect with etc....sound familiar.....Now!...that being said..I haven't given this woman one reason to do this...I haven't texed her back, I havent messaged her, nothing...yet she is pursuing me while she is married and has children...I looked her husband up on facebook...Seems like a great guy. Works every day....takes his son fishing and stuff.....THis woman has sent me messages that just have red flags all over it for ssri use....Sooooo, i found a way to conversate with her to see if she was using ssri drugs without coming right out and asking her...and yes she is...and she blames her husband for everything....these drugs make women turn into big ol sluts....that is all this woman is...good god is this what my wife was doing? It is sad...I would never ever consider any relationship with a married woman, yet she is pursuing me like you can't believe. She is on citalopram....what the hell does this stuff do to them...I just wish I could share the messages she sent me...she has said things like, he is never there for her, they have no connection, she can't stand to even look at him, etc....this is all the stuff my wife said on this crap and I know it is not true......I can spot a citalopram user from 10 miles away...this is just the first time that I have been the single guy pursued by one.....glad I have morals.....this is the perfect world for a guy who just wants to screw and citalopram makes plenty of sluts available for them......


Hi my boyfriend suffers from personality disorder and so around Feb of this year he asked to go on Citalopram (he’s been on it before years ago and hated it so god knows why he wanted to try it again). Anyway it was because his anger was coming out since seeing me and he hated that and he was getting violent thoughts etc etc (never violent, just in his head). His love for me has always been apparent and he is so caring. So since he’s been taking it, he’s become calmer, sleeps more, but bit more distant but loving when he’s with me as always. Last time we were together three weeks ago, it was lovely as usual and loving and we spoke in more depth about marriage as we both want that. He then goes home (hates it living where he does, hates the house, hates looking after his stepfather with Parkinsons though only has to cook and pick up his medication, he doesn’t sign on (no motivation) and exists in his room. Anyway, this time, when he gets back we chat a couple of times then out the blue (completely!!) he mails me saying he has no feelings for me and doesn’t want to see me. OK personality disorder can make him rash but not having feelings for me – no way! I’ve researched SSRIs/Celexa/Citalopram since then and have found no end of evidence about it affecting emotion. I sent him the info last week, but he said to his sister about it that he felt if his love was that strong it’d have coped with him being on the medication. Really don’t know if there is any hope for us. I am not happy about this drug’s side effects at all (and very depressed too about it!). He’s not himself now, ok calmer and not angry but having no emotion – not like him he adored me! We were talking of marriage! I can’t and will not give up on the man sorry but he’s worth more than that. But this drug makes me so CROSS!!!

CITALOPRAM - Josh Carney

My wife started citalopram and within 12 weeks filed for divorce. She went from a loving caring person to a selfish, blaming, manic, crazy woman who I didn’t reckognize. She is so far removed from who she was before the drug that her own son cant even believe it. She went off the deep end. Started saying things like we drifted apart, she is in a different place…etc etc etc…..Started talking about me to other people…..hasn’t cried in 7 months…was very emotional and loving…..Sad…this crap should be banned. Period!

CITALOPRAM/CELEXA - VerySadInDollard DesOrmeau

Montreal, Canada

My wife started taking Celexa about 1 month ago. She kept asking me if I saw any difference inher or her behavior. As of June 15, yes I did see a change in it. That was the day she walked out the door leaving me, our 3 kids and 2 dogs alone. We have been together for 29 years and married for 22 of them on July 1. As of today she has not filed for divorce but keeps telling me she needs time. After reading quite a few of these posts all I can draw out of it, isshe will eventually file those papers. I am totally devastated by the events. She was taking Celexa for depression. All i've found is that now i'm the one thats depressed all day and night. Just this past weekend we attended my sons soccer game were we hugged and huddeld underneath 1 umbrella like nothing was wrong.The next day we went to another soccer game 2 hours away in Hull, Quebec. During the ride certain songs made her cry and I comforted her by rubbing her leg. When I tried to hold her hand she pulled away. After we arrived back at our house, she is now staying with her parents, I asked her if she enjoyed the trip. She said it was nice but she didnt like the fact that I had runned her leg. I'm getting 2 different feeling s from her. One day she hugs me the next she pulls away.

CITALOPRAM - advice needed


My girlfriend was on Citalopram for ovet a year altogether she was great for 6 months and then increased her dose. She became cold distant un lovinhg uncaring and started drinking and partying always on a high but completely dismissive of me, she has moved out of our apartment looking for changes and a new life. She came off the citalopram 22 weeks ago and its 12 weeks since the end of her taper. She gets depressed and self pitying now but still has no love feelings towards me only occasional remorse but mainly she shows me resentment but it switches contradictivley. I have no idea whether she will come back to her old personality ever. She says she likes the changes in her but is lonley and wants to meet new friends. We can't be friends because she is so different and we can't communicate anymore and I am so hurt by her actions. If I am looking for hope for her changing back say in 6 months do I count the weeks from her stopping the meds or from the end of her taper? I know its all different but I just wondered if there is a difference between the 2 ?

Celexa/Citalopram - Meredith

Woodstock, VA

I just found out the connection between SSRI's and Love last night. A lightbulb came on...just when I needed it. My soulmate of 10 years has disappeared since taking Celexa/Citalopram. He has done so many horrible things since taking this drug..affairs, prostitutes, drinking, risk taking you name it. He is self distructing right in front of me. He has no passion for life or positive hobbies/interests. He told me he checked out of our marriage years ago. I did the math and it was shortly after being put on Celexa. He felt the meds weren't working so our Dr. doubled his dose...then he really went out of control. We are currently separated and heading for divorce. I was going to contact an attorney because I have given up...and then I found this site. I voiced my concerns and he agrees to go off the meds. He had no idea they could affect him this way and he is a pharmacist. I really hope he goes off the meds before it is too late. I love this man with all of my heart, and what I am going through is so painful...yet I know that he loves me deep down and I know that he is sick right now and not himself. Sometimes I see a glimmer of the man I fell in love with and it gives me hope. It hurts to see such a wonderful person seem to be possessed by a monster. He says he doesn't know if he is capable of love, and that he only loves our cat for sure. I see now that the drugs have broken his ability to love anyone, not even himself. Thankfully he is seeing a counselor and I am too. I know it will be hard but I will not give up on him. I will be there for him. Forgiving him for what he has done will be a lot of work too but I am willing to try. He was the most caring, decent, and good hearted person before the meds. He said he loved me more than he loved anything...now he says he didn't even want to marry me and only did it because he felt it was the right thing to do...what a slap in the face.


Wellingborough, UK

These pills are lethal. I have just experienced the same thing. My Boyfriend and i got married in July this year and 9 days after the wedding he walked out on me and said he didn't love me. He has been on citalopram for 12 months and says he feels better than ever. He shows no emotions anymore and he is normally a very caring person. In fact he almost feels he has done nothing wrong.

These stories are terrible

CITALOPRAM - sad and abused

West Springfield, MA

I knew my partner (though not married) for eight years. There was much love and passion for us. He had a substance abuse problem which resulted in legal action, followed by an SSRI being subscribed to help with the addiction and depression. Celexa was the SSRI used. Over the 12 weeks that passed from the start of this medication he grew less and less responsive sexually, emotionally and even conversationally. He turned into a person who only cared about himself. He also became very controlling and manipulative on this medication. He started having these kinds of adult temper tantrums when he didnt get what he wanted but would never meet my needs no matter how small the request was simply because he "won't do things on your terms". I was forced to leave him in order to maintain my own sanity because he refused to even question his own behaviors or the medication. He one time only told the doctors the medicine made him "numb" to the needs of others but they totally ignored his concern. My daughter and I left him and are on our own now. After 8 years knowing him I had to get a restraining order.


London, UK

I am new to this forum, my wife was on citalopram for years and ended up having an affair. We are now seperated and things have been very tough for both of us over the last 12+ months. I find it difficult to 'explain away' the affair and forgive her just because she was on anti depressants, I have taken it very personally, I still love her but the trust has gone and she has hurt me incredibly.


London, UK

I'm reading this thread and thinking that I haven't been going mad for the last 3 years!

My wife started taking citalopram and propranalol for anxiety a few years ago. Her anxiety and panic attacks went away quite quickly. But over a 6 month period her emotions flatlined.

No anger, love or real feelings of any kind. She even stoppped crying at sad films!

Basically I've watch the person I fell in love with fade away.

Now the only time any emotion comes through is when she drinks. It is all the good emotions like love empathy and passion. It's like I have my wife back for an evening or two now and then.

I am now nearing the brink of my own santy as I am starting to become more distant like sleeping on the edge of the bed. Not snuggling up when I'm asleep etc..

Greeting the dog before her when I come home from work (this I have noticed and stopped!) But they're all things that I do without thinking.

She has started to reduce her doses but nothing has changed over the last few pmonths and I'm concerned that it won't. I am conciously trying to remain close in the hope that things will return to how they were before she had her anxiety problems.

But I see from reading parts of this thread that all often ends badly :-(

CITALOPRAM - Frustrated

My husban who persued me 4 years told me i was his everything, walked out on me, his home and his 1 year old daughter. Stating he cant help how he feels, he feels nothing for me and hadnt” been in love” for a long time. He was not willing to try to address the issue he has been on Citalopram for about 4 yrs. his medication was always a touchy subject. He went from being the perfect partner to being uncaring, selfish and self onsessed. He is teying to cut the medication down, but i fear by the time the sude effects wear off and he realises what he has done it will be too late and he will have missed out on being a parent. Does anyone have experience of feeling of love pr regret returning after reducing medication?

CITALOPRAM - Broken hearted

I know the horrible effects of this drug all too well. My girlfriend and I had been together for 2 years. We were an inseparable couple that always treated each other with fairness and respect. We would always do loving things for each other, like maybe a gift here, flowers there. Go out and do fun things as a couple. Sneak an “I love you text,” when we were working. We had talked of kids and marriage and were just as in love from the beginning.

Then she had a situation at work that was causing her stress and panic attacks. She was prescribed 20mg of Citalopram. Within in a few weeks I had already started to notice slight changes. She seemed to be pulling away from me for the first time ever in our relationship. The sex of course went to a crawl, but I knew that would be a side effect. She seemed to not care as much about things. I saw her losing her spunk that made her who she was. The texts stopped, the cuddling stopped, any advances for sex were rejected, and I had to tell her I loved her first to hear her say it. Everything that made her sweet and caring slowly drifted away. After about 3-4 months of the meds, we had a talk. She stated that she had lost the spark and had considered breaking up over me not getting groceries or doing the bed sheets when I was never asked to do any of this. That’s all it would have taken for me to do those things. She said she felt unappreciated. I convinced her I would make the changes and asked that she work on her communication for me so that it never has to get to this point again.

So I finally did some research on the effects of the medication and relationships and was relieved, but also very concerned. I approached her with my findings saying I was concerned for and that maybe these were the reasons why she felt the spark had gone. That was not received well. This was about a month ago. About 3 weeks ago she went to her doctor and they lowered her dose in hopes of getting off of the medication for good. Apparently when I approached her with my findings, she took it as an attack on her and me thinking she was a pill popper. She felt like I was judging her and analyzing her. Anything she said or did she thought I would say it was the pills. About 3 weeks ago she states I need to move out, she needs her space to deal with this, but we aren’t breaking up. She can’t take me “judging” her. I convince her again we can work through this. 2 days later she breaks up with me. She says its not fair for me be treated the way I was being treated; unloved. It ended with us saying how much we both loved each other and still do. We kissed; it ended on a somewhat good note. I ask if we will get back together after she works through this and she states she doesn’t know, she isn’t a psychic

For the first week I ignored her because she wanted her space and I was hurting. Since the breakup almost 2 weeks ago she won’t sleep in the bed at the place and tells me she is going to disassemble it and get her own bed and she does. I told her I wanted to sit down and talk and finalize some things. She agrees. She ends up working later that night and then won’t answer my texts now. She blocked all her stuff on Facebook from me. In all the time I was with her, I had never seen her act like this. She is starting to worry me, I feel she is having withdrawals and doesn’t realize it. She refused to believe the meds had anything to do with the break up already. She won’t talk to her sister who I’m friends with still because she accused her sister of being “on his side”. .

That is my story of how SSRI’s caused me to lose the love of my life and a perfect relationship. I hope that someone sees this and is able to salvage their relationship or go into this medication knowing what might happen and keeping an open line of communication. I hope that once she is off the meds she will come back around and realize what happened. There is so much at our place that I did and I hope those are constant reminders to her of how much she was loved, cared for, and adored.


Stoke-on-trent, UK

My wife has been on citalopram for about 5 years now and looking back i have found her to be numb to my love and affection. I dont know if it is the drug as she says she fell out of love with me more than 4 years ago. I dont know if im looking for an excuse or just the simple fact that people do fall out of love. she still has love and affection for our children and our pets but says she doesnt have that”in love” feeling towards me. We have rearly broken up a few times , firstly about 4 years ago, 1 year ago and are again on the verge of doing so again. She acts as if she cant stand being in my company. says that now she has more confidence to speak to more people and to go out when and with who she likes. this on the back of saying that i have been a controlling person which i deny. Any kind of body contact is out of the question and she cant even bear to have me touch her. this is the same person who cuddled up in bed every night. she now tells me that she wants me out of her life. she has started to taper off but says the drugs have no bearing on her feelings towards me and lately has felt even less for me

Does anyone have any guidence, advice or have been in a silmilar position. I have shown her this site but she says that the blogs people have left bear no resemblance to her situation. I have however persuaded her to consult her doctor. Would love some feedback


Columbus, IN

Ex on citalopram is now running off to Vegas to get married. She isn't even taking our son to witness this huge life event and doesn't seem to even care if he is involved in it or not. She has been in a relationship for about 3 months. Now getting married. I feel sorry for the poor chap. He has no idea what pain is coming his way huh....

CITALOPRAM - conundrum

Plymouth, UK

my wife left me after taking Citalopram, we were together 16 years. we had a loving relationship and were very happy. She was given Citalopram by her doctor when she became menopausal. I don't remeber how long she was on i before she started to change, she got a bit irratable with me something she had never been befor, she got really angry with me over something she would normally have laughed off, these were the first changes I noticed. She had bad vertigo about 8 months after taking them we thought nothing of it. after about a year she didn't love me anymore and left me to make her own path in life because I was no longer someone she wanted to be with, she feels no passion for me only friendship and was unhappy for the last few years of our life. I was dismissed out of her life without even looking over her shoulder, I was no longer important or the person she ever thought about or was remotely concerned about in any kind or caring way, I was shown no respect and was just expected to deal with it and she was so unreasonable in every way. the complete opposite to everything I knew about her. She was much worse in withdrawal after I persuaded her to stop taking them. 6 months into withdrawal she was no better and now 14 months later she is now with feelings but still a little deluded, so I can give you no great hope at this 14 month stage she still wants her own life but would now like to be friends so I have gained an friend who does now care about me - a step in the right direction?

I met someone else 8 months ago and had an emotional attachment to her because she supported me through my heartbreak. We got involved for a very brief time, rebound I guess. I found out she was on Prozac and so persuaded her to come off, she lied me when on the medication, but not off it! I preferred her on the medication and not off it! WE GOT ON REALLY WELL WHEN SHE WAS MEDICATED BUT DON'T GET ON AT ALL SINCE SHE'S BEEN OFF. I have to admit to being totally confused about the whole thing. My wife's behaviour was terrible on Citalopram, my rebound lady was great on Prozac and miserable moody OCD and selfish off it.



Is there no end to these problems! My girlfriend of 12 years changed after 6 months on Citalopram after the dose was increased she no longer wanted to be with me she wants so much more in her life. She came off the drugs whilst still with me but left 3 months later saying she had no feelings for me. When I pointed out she had no feelings full stop she cockily declared yes she did but for some one else some crazy drummer in a band in the pub she was drinking in. Despite being drug free for 13 months she is still with him still drinking and living a life so totally opposite to what she had with me and does not see how changed she is or if she does does not seem to care. I thought she would realise a year down the road what she has lost but she seems oblivious so they don't all wake up. She brags that she no longer takes the drugs and I believe it is true as she is more like her old self in all other ways and has said sorry for hurting me. I am still in grief and disbelief.

Citalopram Kills

Harrogate, UK

So my wife was loving, kind, spiritual, loved me, loved our life together, told me everyday, showed me every day until she took Citalopram, then she had no feelings for me, felt trapped, wanted to leave, had not loved me for a long time, we were just 'best friends'.

She came off the drugs for me because she knew she had no feelings, I thought everything would be ok. She was worse coming off them, she became more uncaring, behaved badly, dismissed me from her life, started going out without me, partying (this is not how she has ever behaved).

She wanted her freedom and independence, wanted to be free and not in a relationship. She stayed for 5 months, she was off the Citalopram for 3 of these months but I saw no change. She left, she is still off Citalopram, she speaks to me occasionally, she is normal by all appearances now, is working, living on her own, but still has no emotion towards me, she is not the same but seems ok, she has been drug free 15 months, she has not had a window and seems to have no feelings or memories of us, she treats me like an old friend that she does not have feelings for.

It has hurt me so much and I am still in shock and disbelief and it seems that she will never be her old self ever again. Citalopram has killed my wife.


My wife of ten years started taking Celexa in September 2007. We had issues, but never did she think about leaving me. She left in February 2008, and she said she didn’t “feel the same way about me anymore”. I too found articles regarding this issue. Luckily, my wife and i have been in counseling this entire time. She seems to be open to listening and reading material regarding this issue, but seems as if she is just doing it to show that she did something to help our situation. She has been off Celexa for 6 weeks now, and she still seems cold and indifferent. Does anyone know how long it takes to regain your emotional feelings after getting off of the drugs?

Citalopram Kills

Harrogate, UK

I met some Americans in a hotel recently, they said they were in Harrogate for a conference and that they tested drugs for a living. Sometimes they know what they are testing sometimes they don't. When I questioned them about Citalopram and asked if it could change your personality they said yes, I asked lots of questions, one guy said it depends on the person and that the drugs react differently per individual. He said we all have different levels of chemicals its what makes some people laid back and others more irritable. When I asked if she could recover after a period of being off them he said yes. I asked if everybody on them would recover off them eventually. He said depends how long they were on them, how it affected them, how old they were and in women if they are menopausal. My wife was menopausal it's why she was put on the stuff in the first place. She was put on Citalopram for hot flushes. I am so ANGRY. He said they only test the drugs and write reports that is their job they have no influence on what is reported. There was an English guy in the group said he was in IT for the same company and that he had lost his wife 2 years ago after taking antidepressants so he said he knew what I was going through. He was not in contact with his Ex and was with some one else now and did not think she had come off the drugs.

Omg it's everywhere you turn it's so damn scary. I feel like It's far fetched and in a science fiction movie but it's not it's real and happening to someone everywhere every damn day.


Southampton, UK

My Girlfriend became unatached to me after taking Citalopram, she told me she didn't have feelings for me anymore and that we were really just best friends. She told me she had feelings for someone she had just met in the pub. When I looked at her emails and the history of what sites she had visited on the internet I was so shocked to see all the very sexual things she was looking at and the sex toys and the duscussions she was having by email with the man she had only just met.

This was not her normal behaviour, but I thought it was because she was having an affair, I never connected the Citalopram at the time. We have been separated 2 years now. She is living alo e but still soends a lot of time with the other man. However, she has been off the drugs 18 months now because they made her dizzy all the time especially after a lot of alcohol ( she is drinking a lot now). She is still very different but her emotions are back and she says they are all over the place and she is very unhappy most days.

I asked her to leave him and come back to me. She said that she was not the same person anymore and did not want to mislead me, she said her moods are very up and down and that she is not a stable person and that sometimes she feels so desperately lonely she just wants to die. She said she can not find happiness no matter how hard she tries, she says she knows she is not the same person anymore and she is not a good prospect for a relationship, she wants me to find someone who can love me the way I deserve to be loved and that we can never get back the relationship we once had.

It all seems so familiar to many stories I have read here both on and off antidepressants.

Terri when did you realise the man you chased after was not the man for you. Do you think she will always feel nothing for me and never be able to come back to me. She does not even want to try, she would rather be unhappy with him or on her own than come back to me. Is it hard for her to let go of her feelings for him because of how strong they seemed when she was drugged and even though it does not really work between them?

Some help understanding what is going on in her brain would help me. I am so lost without her, I am so hurt, but I also feel extremely sorry for her, she was such a wonderful person and girlfriend and full of so much love. She looks terrible now and Its like I never knew her, we were very happy together for 8 years then her dad died and the doctor gave her Citalopram and 6 months later I lost her too.


Quakertown, PA

My wife went on a combination of wellbutrin and celexa and within six months had a complete personality change. She had a couple affairs, started hanging out with single girls, wanting to go out and party and be 21 again. From what i'm told she went out drinking all the time and slept around with plenty of men. She's a 38 yo homemaker that rarely drank or acted outragous. She told me she didnt love me and hadnt in a long time. I eventually filed for divorce in June and she moved out. She has been seeing a guy who happens to be verbally abusive and a cocasine addict. She rarely came around all summer and saw the kids a few hours a week. Understand, a year earlier these kids were her life and she was a great mother. She then rented a big house and bought all new furniture and clothes. She took almost nothing from our house. All her clothes are still hanging in the closet. She is in debt beyond belief. This woman never let a credit card payment pass and now has several close to maxed out that she cant pay. She lost most of her friends, and even the few that have hung on, think she's out of her mind. Her parents even told me to stay away from her.

I swear this is all because one day she walked into her doctors office and asked to be put on these meds and with very little questioning, our doctor gave them to her.


Dekalb, IL

t is amazing to see someone who is codependant and cant go 3 hours without talking to you on the phone, and who says I love you 10 times a day switch to a person who sleeps in the other bedroom and doesn't answer your cell phone calls, pushes you away, and tells you they never loved you, and thinks they are better off without you. My wife is literally a whole different person. I can't believe that her family doesn't question her new personality. I mean really! How can they support her without question? She has thrown everything in the trash can including me. Why or how can someone be with you for 21 years and within a couple of months decide that they don't love you and never did? Why has her family abandoned me? My family sticks together. We don't understand this or how anyone can do it. I guess deep down my family has character and hers never did. I know what the drugs do, but, I would never abandon a family member. Citalopram sucks.


My wife has changed dramatically since she’s been on prozac. She told me she has feelings for a coworker, that she doesn’t have much faith in our marriage and that she loves me but isn’t in love with me. I don’t feel much from her, I just feel like a friend. I feel like she is indifferent whether I’m present or not. Every second away from her is absolutely killing me. She is my whole life. I want the wife that used to love me more than anything, the one that couldn’t stand to be away from me. We do have issues that we have both successfully been working on. I felt things getting better but every time she gets on an SSRI, our marriage falls apart. I have never been this sad. It’s interesting to see that I’m not alone. I don’t know what to do. I feel broken.


 I can tell from my experience that SSRIs effects on a romantic relationship can be devastating. My BF started to take Prozac about 5 months ago and he has gradually become cold, emotionless, as if he had no feelings towards me any more. Needless to mention that his libido went dramatically down. We used to have a pretty good sexual life, now he can’t even have an orgasm.

Now he acts like a heartless, cold, horrible person. He is practically tossing me out of his life. Our communication is completely one-sided. It seems as if he didn’t care any more.

He suddenly stopped loving me and says he cant feel his emotions now, that he feels detached towards his family and friends too. I think he might also be seeing other people now to try to feel.

He is a totally different person and i still love her but i can’t live like this. I miss my BF like crazy, i want him to be happy but i want to be happy too. Is it a lost cause?

PROZAC - david - London UK


The same happened to me. My wife was prescribed prozac for post natal depression and never came off for 5 years. after 10 months affection disappeared and all zest for life withered. July 2007 she suddenly announced no longer loved me and the marriage was over. she could offer no explanation for why she felt like this but denied the medication had any thing to do with it. we were a loving caring family. it of course may be nothing to do with the prozac but she is a totally different person now to when i first met. she is still on prozac and i believe has a dependency issue with it. i am now separated and devastated for my 2 children who still live with my wife.

PROZAC - Kelly Cmolik

this is true because i was called with a diagnosis of major depression at school when i was studying film my doctor told me i needed more spirituality….. and medication!!! (this was five years ago) My girlfriend supported me about it from the start but after one month of prozac i didn’t wnat her around.. i didnt like feeling that way but i didnt feel the same way about her anymore…. it was te best relationship in my life but i didnt love her at all. my doctor told me it was because of the meds but i didn’t beieve him. I was taking prozack two times a day by then but he started with once a day for two weeks. i broke up with bronwen after two months of treatment since i didnt want to be with her anymore and that didnt bother me either. we were lovers since the twelve grade. my doctor told me to stop taking the drugs after seven months…. after i broke up with her i felt lighter for the next four months and the last three weeks were steady withdrawl. the good that came out of it was i was no longer feeling faint because of prozac (yay!) and in less than a week i missed Bronnie again… its the worst thing i ever did..

Prozac (Fluoxetine) - Ciaran

she was proscribed Floxitine by her doctor, she goes to counceling also. Last week our relationship collapsed as she told me she doesnt love me anymore. I have no doubt whatsoever that the meds are having a bad effect on her. We were both incredibly in love just a few weeks ago. Now shes really cold hearted and doesnt seem to display any emotions. I of course still love her and am trying my best to cope. I hope me and her get back together again soon. I have since suggested that she come of the meds.


Nassau, Bahamas

After dating my significant other for almsot 5 years, i truly believe our relationship ended to prozac. The personality changes were incredible. He developed depression/anxiety a year into the realtionship and started taking the drug 2 years ago. He used to be a sensitive and caring man. Now, he is cold, flat, lifeless and extremely materialistic. He didnt love or care about me in the end.

There has to be a connection to these drugs and personality changes and it is truly such a hard thing to go through as you have no control. I blame doctors for pushing it so much. I was devasted and felt in a way that my partner had somwhow died. I never imagined that we would be apart. I am sorry for anyone that has to go through this and I do also find it incredible that it is so difficult to find literature on this issue. It is HUGE and will continue to destroy relationships.

My heart goes out to you all.


Millbrae, CA

Thank you all for sharing on this website. You helped me attempt a rescue of my girlfriend when I realized this drug had changed her completely. She too followed the "Effexor script"

Her feelings changed immediately after taking it.

She immediately wanted attention from men at any cost.

She started seeing someone else.

She engaged in self-destructive behavior.

She hurt me ENDLESSLY and never seemed to care.

Somehow, I was able to get her to move back in with me, and thanks to this site, helped get her off the drugs. We decided to go cold turkey because it seems you're screwed even if you wean yourself. The effects of getting off this drug were awful. I was outraged watching the love of my life go through such physical and emotional pain.

But I loved her and I knew she was in trouble, so I stuck by her side and helped her through it despite all she had done to me.

Well, the other thing I read on here, that I feared, happened as well.

She was off the drug, but all her emotions were gone, and they never came back.

She doesn't really feel much of anything anymore.

The only thing she feels is depressed. So the doctors gave her Prozac, more Prozac, then Zoloft.

a week later:

"I haven't loved you in a year and I hate it here, I'm leaving."

...and she was gone. Again.

I couldn't stop her.

I gave everything to help her, and she told me she resented me for it.

I am so angry that this drug is allowed to exist. Maybe it helps some people, but it destroyed two people in this situation.

Before she took the Zoloft, I thought we might make it: she was still depressed, but she picked out names for our future kids, was looking at rings, and talking with my mom about when to have kids.

I'm too weak to fight anymore so I have to let her go.

I feel so much love for you all for sharing your stories, and I hope you all can find happiness. Your caring nature will be appreciated by someone more healthy. I promise you.

In the meantime, I'm considering making a documentary about this.

I have had some success as a filmmaker before, and my last short film won several awards, and played in 30 festivals in 15 countries.

I actually filmed her getting off Effexor, brain zaps and all, for the possibility of a documentary.

This HAS to be told to stop people from using this drug. IF WE HAD ANY IDEA, WE WOULD HAVE NEVER GOTTEN ON EFFEXOR.

If any of you have stories to share with me that I could try to use later, please send me your story:


I would love to get some info on class action suits because that would be essential to the doc. As well as experts, and also people's stories. Especially if you recovered from Effexor.

My heart goes out to all of you. I know what you're going through, and it's not right.



Thank you for this post. Adding my marriage to the stone heap. Prozac has totally changed my wife of 11 years and not changed any of her depressive behavior. She is surly, short fused, argumentative. she sleeps all the time, or wakes up in the middle of the night and carb loads. She used to be active, but all that stopped about 4 years ago when she committed to prozac. Now she looks like Agnes Trunchbull from the kids movie Matilda, and often acts like that too.

She tells me I am the best lover she ever had, but for me the sex went from bad, boring, worse, to none. Sometimes she is able to get off, sometimes not, of course she blames me for that. I know that I am not at fault though. I am worn out pushing the bull uphill. It is getting harder and harder to resist other women who are interested in me.

Unfortunately I made some kids with her and so I can not just part ways easily. We are going into marriage counseling, For years I have been blaming myself and beating myself up, but now I realize the prozac and the mental illness are the problems, not me. She refuses to use any other treatment besides the prozac — she is not interested in doing CBT.

PROZAC - Lord of logic

Cleveland, OH

My story is identical. 12 year marriage with both of us having minor issues. She was a bit of a social alcoholic, but 12 years it was rarely a problem. We went everywhere together anyway. Why would I stop it, when she got drunk, I looked really good. Sex was the only issue in our marriage, intimacy was certainly not. We have a well adjust and healthy 2 year old that is way advanced for her age cognitively according to the doctor.(she is regressing now. clingy and starting to crawl again.) There is no better gauge for you relationship. We went to the consoling to address my communication tactics,(very passive aggressive) and her anger issues since having the baby. She eventually took it upon herself to get separate consoling when she felt that joint wasn’t getting her what she needed. They put her on Prozac. IT took awhile to kick in. February was the greatest month of our relationship even though the Prozac further diminished her sex drive. It was an issue that came up at the end of the month after I got none on our ski trip for our anniversary. That is when my wife professed her undying love in an email. Early march that was not a problem. every night, and we had decided to try for a second kid. She also started drinking more during this time. That lasted until the end mid March when she came home from the bar one night and was just cold. Something that had never happened. Her getting drunk meant me getting laid. Don't get me wrong, us going out was a rarity. Like I said she was a social alcoholic to that point.( I had 16 pages and counting of the good time we had so that one day my daughter can know what kind of relationship she was really conceived under. It will have to be coupled with a maturity that can understand it is not her fault.) We were the couple everybody looked up to. We walked into a room and the place lit up. You rarely found one with out the other. Then as that cold period set in, I got suspicious. Something I had never done in the whole 12 years. I found text messages to a guy that a wife should not be sending to another man. I called her on it one night. She snapped. First saying, "you are sometimes not around". That is a falsity as my job has me off for weeks at a time. Then she moved to “I don’t deserve you”. Then finally when that didn’t make any sense, she never loved me. She “only stayed with me because she needed somebody to hook up the Christmas lights.” Then the whole thing got moved next door to a hot tub party where she was trying to have sex with guys and girls alike at the party right in front of me. The night ended with her going to jail for domestic violence. it just spieled out of control from there.

Originally we went to consoling to finally address some minor issues. They helped us get over them by crating major issues. The drug companies and the doctors killed my wife. I plan on making them pay for it. This is worse then death. First i have no body to burry, that ghost haunts me daily. Secondly, my wife assumed this "ghetto girl" persona that is going to have access to my daughter? I am planning on starting an SSRI support group blog. I have the ear of a world distributed debate program. I am going to see if they will take up my story. I am sure they will. I might ask any of you reader to join me and tell your story. I will repost when I get it set up. The program is called “world have your say”. I plan on posting a blog with a more in-depth explanation of my story.

For all of those who say, maybe the relationship was dysfunctional and the drugs freed up their self esteme to let them move on. First being told regulary over 12 year that you are the greates husband and father for the past two is not a sign of "hiding". You can not hide those feelings if you really want to move on but are scared. It is psycologically impossible to not act out in that case. You certainly do not spontaneously tell friends and family that you are madly in love. You certainly do not sit in front of a consoler who has been doing it for 20 years and hide it. Mine has just short of appologized for not catcing it in the couple of meetings we had. but how could she, my wife wasn't on SSRIs at the time. She said for marriages that look like they are headed for divorce she recomends a separation for two weeks without contact. She said we were not even close in her office to that.

"The greatest trick the Devil ever played on humanity is convincing them he doesn't exist."

PROZAC - Jaxbrah

United States

I have a question for everyone. How in the world can I convince my wife to get off prozac??? Anyone in this thread successfully done that? Of course shes incredibly stubborn about it and insists her sudden change of heart towards me (overnight after upping to 40mg) is because of prior issues rather than the medication.

At one point I convinced her to get off the prozac but before her appointment came around two weeks later, she had already changed her mind, pretty adimately too. Now the idea diagusts her and prompts her to threaten to move out. She basically begs me for divorce. This is the same woman who was attached to my hip for three years despite any issues we had. I was the best husband possible in her eyes. She never left the house without me. Now shes never home on the weekends, drinking, spending our bill money on alcohol, not coming home at nights, and even making me miss work enough times that im on theverge of bei g fired.

Her first psychiatrist appiontment is thrusday. I just pray that he suggests to her that the meeication is indeed making her manic.

PROZAC - Riptide63

Hilton Head Island, SC

Today is a bad day, why? Because I just found this site. 5 weeks ago, my soulmate and love of my life darling Wife plopped down in my office and told me out of the blue she wanted a divorce.

Her reasons were all over the map(and invalid)but it was sooo weird, from her physical demeanor to the flat, unemotional tone of her voice. She demanded my son and I move out immediately and she was so uncharacteristically angry I complied.

Over the weeks she has demanded a divorce asoon as possible, been completely uncaring, cold and indifferent to me and the kids, goes from wanting to be nice to a raging bitch in minutes etc...I have been devasted, all my dreams, my hopes everything has started to burn, everyday has started and ended with tears, i have lost 15lbs, suicidal shit runs thru my dreams, and then I caught just one thing on the net, and then another.,and now I'm here, and I'm beyond pissed. 18 months ago my Wife was struggling(shes 43) with some minor stress and hormone issues and her NURSE PRACTITIONER that she sees put her on 30Mg of Prozac a day. She had some side effects(libido etc...) and oddly, everytime she tried to come off the stuff we would end up in horrible fights and she would want out, within a few days she would be back on it and all was good. On 3/28/09 for reasons still unclear, the same NURSE PRACTITIONER raised her daily dose to 4 40MG tabs a day...thats NOT a typo, I am looking at the prescription, thats 160 mg or DOUBLE what even the

dark folks at Eli Lilly say is the maximum. Her drinking has escalated to almost a whole bottle of wine per day(she's 5' and 110lbs)and her rollercoaster emotons are off the charts. I am desperate, I am abou to lose the love of my life, my kids, my house and an incredible business. Please someone help.

PROZAC - CantLetGo


My long term Girlfriend was prescribed prozac for mild depression about three months ago. She split up with me a month ago after complaining that she just 'didnt love me anymore'. I have asked her to consider whether the meds have affected her, but she is adamant that they have not. It is an awful situation because I just dont know whether it is over or not.

It is so difficult to know whether (a) her doctor will ever take her off the drugs (b) her coming off the drugs will cause her to remember the way she felt about me before the prozac or (c) I am just deluding myself.

I am just stuck in limbo.

Some of the tragic situations I have read on this site remind me that others have been through worse - involving children and 25 year marriages. I wonder whether in 20 years time this will be a recognised side effect of SSRIs...

Best wishes to you all

PROZAC - Confused and Concerned

Jacksonville, FL

First time poster. I am also amazed at the similarity between all of your stories and mine. My wife and I have been together for almost 4 years. Of course we didn't have a perfect relationship, little spats, but overall very happy. We have a 2 1/2 year old daughter who is the world to us. Six weeks ago my wife consulted a doctor regarding general anxiety / panic attacks. They prescribed Prozac, which in my mind has been responsible for de-railing our marriage. She says that she no longer loves me, and hasn't for some time now. She wonders why she ever married me at all. How does this awful drug re-write history, replacing all of the past love with animosity. She will mention a few details of why she is unhappy, all minor in nature. Certainly nothing that would warrant the divorce she is now requesting. Our sex life has gradually diminished into nothing, which she also blamed on me. She says our life, me, and our sex life is completely boring. I repeatedly attempt to spice things up between us, but I am quickly denied. But, still somehow my fault? She has grown very distant, does not want to touch or be touched. Refuses to sleep in the same bed with me. Her comments and actions are completely abnormal. I really miss her and what we had together. She is trying to move from our home in Florida to Los Angeles to pursue a career as an actress. She is away from home often, and I feel that we hardly saw each other for most of July 09. She told me last night that she is no longer attracted to me, and has not been for months. She says that she is currently attracted to many other men, and I am just holding her back from pursuing those potential relationships. Hardly comments you would expects from your spouse. She is easily agitated, and physically covers her ears when i speak to her. She is quick to yell, even in front of our daughter. I am trying to remain patient, realizing that it is most likely the drug talking, but her attacks on me are becoming more personal and hurtful every day. She claims that her anxiety symptoms have decreased due to Prozac, but at what cost? Are there any safer alternatives? Any natural approach available? I called her doctor and luckily I was on file as someone they could discuss her condition with. We have an appointment set for 2 days from now to try and get off of this drug before it's too late. Hopefully, the withdrawals from only using for 6 weeks are not that bad. Any short-term experiences would be greatly appreciated. She surprisingly agreed to go to the doctor with me, and even agreed to get off Prozac possibly. I'm walking a fine line here though, as so many sister-drugs seem just as dangerous, with the same volatile side-effects. I do not want a divorce, and deep down I do not think she does either. Sorry for the long post, but I don't know where else to turn. Any ideas, prior to our doctors visit Friday? I have read here that many doctors will up the dosage opposed to removal. Most of this forum is geared at Effexor it seems, even calling Prozac a better alternative. Not in our case. I just want to love and be loved, and remain strong for both my wife and little girl. Thank you for listening.

Confused and Concerned (Stephen)

PROZAC  - Neil

Bristol, UK

My wife and I have been together 23 years, happily married for the first 20. She was prescribed Fluoxetine 60mg a day for depression after the death of her mother in July 2007. This changed her personality. She became an uncaring, unloving, argumentative, selfish person (with no obvious improvement in the depression) and our relationship plummeted. She went from being madly in love with me to wanting to live on her own (and telling me she had never loved me). The crunch came in November 2008 when she told me she had been having an affair for the last two months. This shattered my world, and I am still struggling to come to terms with it. She is now off the drug, and is my loving wife once again. She cannot believe she was unfaithful, and still has no idea what she thought she was doing or why. She says she knew it was wrong, could not stop herself, and did not think of the consequences at any time. She described it as watching it all happen through somebody else's eyes. We are still struggling to rebuild our trust and still want to spend the rest of our lives together.


Portland, OR

Up until recently I was seeing this girl. She said she was in love with me and everything was great. Then she said it was just gone, that spark died.

She ended up sleeping with someone else, who she said she hated a month before, and it was pretty much over after that.

I'm not entirely sure if the antidepressants (prozac) she is on has caused it, it doesnt really matter to me at this point anymore. Emotionally she just seems, vacant, and I dont want to deal with it anymore.

I still care for her greatly, I just care about me more so. I hope you all the best in your lives and that everything works out well for you.

PROZAC - Riptide63

Hilton Head Island, SC

Wifes Prozac use accelerated last April, fell immediately out of love with EVERYTHING, anger, irrationality, flat emotions etc..I gave up after five months of abuse, got divorced at Thanksgiving all over ...right?...Somewhere about that time she removed herself from Prozac and for awhile things were pretty good, she wasn't the girl I met and fell in love with but it was close. She started to experiment with Celexa and there was a few changes

but it was manageable. THEN out of the blue, first of January she sits down and says she wants to reconcile, mmmm, we agree to take it slow. Was going pretty well the first week then...BAM, outburst, hate, outrageous demands etc...lasted maybe a day. Now it's a rollercoaster, just like before, but guess what, she put herself BACK on Prozac the first week of our reconciliation without telling me. Ding ding ding...we have a winner. Fool me once shame on me , fool me twice, shame on me. Grrrrrrrrrrr. And to all those that fear "moving on", consider the alternative, 30, 40, 50 years of complete chaos, lifes to short friends.

PROZAC - gigi

Motala, Sweden

I know the post is old but I am hoping you read this and have time to reply.

My ex started taking prozac like 3 months ago and right after he started taking it has changed completely. Not only with me but with everyone and the way he feels about life.

He just detached completely from me. i was pregnant when he started taking it and left me pregnant many time. He came back and left. He stopped being the attentive and sweet loving man I met. He started finding excuses to keep himself busy and stay away from me. Now he said he fell out of love and is not in love with me anymore.

If he stops taking prozac can he ever feel the same way he felt for me before? Can those feelings ever come back? Is his love still there or is it gone forever.

I appreciate your opinion due to your own experience. Thanks so much.

PROZAC - lost

Dekalb, IL

It sounds so similar. Spouses using ssri's tend to use the same language. You are pushing me. I need time. I love you but I am not in love with you. You need to understand that he cant feel love while on these drugs. He cant feel empathy. He cant feel saddness. It is impossible to relate to someone if you don't have feelings.%#@@ yes it is the prozac. Why do you think they call it the divorce pill. The indecisiveness and flipping back and forth is what they do. My advice is run for the hills. Let him go. That is what I had to do. My spouse has been saying we should never have gotten married. We have nothing in commom. I'm a control freak. The whole marriage is bad. We've drifted apart. Got served divorce papers a week before Christmas by a cold hearted person that shows no emotion whatsoever. Empathy is completely gone. You might as well let it take its course. I learned the hard way. My in laws wont even talk to me. Been with the same woman for 21 years with no complaints. Suddenly she isn't happy and everyone believes her without question. I have watched her transform before my very eyes from a loving warm unselfish person into a selfish cold hearted emotionless person who could care less about our relationship. Simply amazing. Run!

PROZAC - bbb

Novi, MI

Ok I have not read all of these posts but could prozac also be included in this discussion? I am going through a very similar situation. She has been on prozac for a year and has no love for me. Behavior is erratic .... all the same that has been discussed. Would a psychiatrist be able to determine if prozac is causing this emotional turmoil?

PROZAC - Brian1970

In my case, my girlfriend has been off ssris for 6 weeks. She was on Prozac for 12 weeks and effexor for 6 weeks (1 week 75g, 2 weeks at 150mg, 3 week taper). She never lost control and did anything bad, but she did fall out of love with me after 4 weeks of the Prozac. I hope that the fact that she did not get excessive is a sign that it is not too far to come back for her.

The withdrawal was not too bad compared with other cases I have read about but now we are just good friends (there has been no bad feelings). Her love for me has not returned but neither has her libido. In addition she is tired and slightly apathetic. To me it sounds like her dopamine is low.

I hope to get her back when her dopamine recovers, but I have no idea when this will be. To be honest I expected it to be back by now but I am afraid the taper was too fast. What do you think?

I'll keep you updated

PROZAC - Crushed

Worcester, UK


I have been following this thread for a couple of months now as I am going through this exact scenario & it is tearing me apart.

My ex partner started her course of Prozac in September & left me in february saying she doesn't love me anymore. We were together for 12 years & have a 3 year old child who means the world to me.

I asked her today if she could remember anything positive from our relationship & she couldn't recite a single thing as all she seems to do is pick out every imperfection we had while we were together. She has seen me on my knees recently & shows no emotion whatsoever. She has also started drinking heavily which is so out of character for her. She tells me that she NEVER wants to be in a relationship again.

I am struggling with myself as I don't know whether it is the meds that has got us into this situation or our relationship.

I feel helpless.

PROZAC - Riptide

Hilton Head Island, SC

This should cheer everybody and explain further just bad this "epidemic" is. As I had written previously my marriage came apart over Prozac taken in massive quantities by my ex. She was NEVER seen by an MD, just a nurse practitioner who subsequently over wrote the scrip on top of everything else. Jump forward to this past week, the SAME NP wrote a new scrip for Prozac for my 16 year old step daughter, sight unsees, no office visit, nada nothing. THIS is a big part of the problem. I am so disgusted I feel like driving directly to the nursing board Monday.

PROZAC - gigi

Stockholm, Sweden

Well, just like I suspected. my ex has been on prozac now for about a month and he could care less about anything. Everything is about him. What he needs and what he can get out of people for his own benefit. It is clear he has once again fallen out of love for me and is planning trips for the summer whilst I an here with our 6 month old baby dealing with everything by myself and he is too damn busy with his studies to help out at all.

Yesterday he told me how everything is my fault and that i have not supported him and have made a mess out of him. all these excuses for us not working it out. there are always excuses. Once he gets what he says is needed to make it work he has a new thing that is necessary each time and I feel like I am giving and giving so this works and he keeps asking for more. maybe molding me into a puppet in a string whom he controls and is just 'there' for his needs.

I am soo desperate to know if this is really my doing, doing everything wrong. He geets on prozac, doesnt have to deal with all the emotions and i am left with all the emotions and pain that i have to deal with all alone.

what the hell do i do with this man? even that we are not together he still has a hold on me, controls me, insults me, belittles me and makes sure he is so rational about why it is all my fault that it makes sense! Sh*t, I am TIRED!!


My husband of 5 years started having panic attack last June, The doctor put him on zoloft and he seems to be doing fine. Starting last Sept, he started acting distant. Then I found out he went and got the fertility test done. He told me he could not have kids. Then he cried and wanted a seperation. I thought he was just acting this way because of the Infertility news. He continued to act very strange and disconnect. Then, in December, he told me he is not in love with me anymore. He could not tell me the reasons why at the moment. Then the next day, he told me it was because I was not happy with my job, that I did not like his mom and did not let his mom borrow money from us, that I am emotionally intense. I understand every marriage has its issues and those can be communicated and resolved. I feel he is reasoning his feeling and blaming me for things. He did not credit me for the positive things I have done. I continue to work at the job I did not like because I want to wait until he finish school. Marriage and love is about sacrifices. We change the way we manage money so he can help his mom without needing to consult with me. I support his decision going to school full time because I know it is important for him and me. I cook every day and pack his lunch and dinner because I love him. He also said he does not find me attractive anymore but I am a very pretty woman. I am at the time of accepting the fact. He wants me to respect his feeling and he does not want to see marriage counseling or therapist. He did ask the doctor to lower his Zoloft dosage to 50 mg from 100 mg a week ago. However, he recently still told me his feeling hasn’t changed. He still wants to sell the house and still blame me for why he feels the way he feels. I am ready for the worse which is divorce and willing to let God lead the way. I just don’t know if there is anyway to get this message to him so he can consider talking to his doctor and knowing he is not alone.

ZOLOFT - Lost and lonely

Most of these stories sound like they were written by a fly on my living room wall about a week ago.

My wife and I have been together for over 7 years and married for 3 in March. I love her with every ounce of my soul.

Last week she called me to tell me she wanted a divorce (yes, called me). She has been on antidepressants for about 4 years currently taking 100mg of Sertraline (Zoloft generic). She told me she has been unhappy for a year and loves me but isn’t in love with me. We have a son who will be 3 in January and a daughter who is 17.

Same old story regarding sex; she has not initiated sex since going on the meds and the frequency has deminished over time. When we do have sex she still orgasms but told me this is physical, not emotional.

Reluctantly, she agreed to marriage counseling which I hope to start in mid January. We currently have a schedule where we alternate staying at home with the kids.

We did have our fights and am in no way a perfect husband but she know I am madly in love with her. She used to take pride in the fact we were such close friends but now says the friendship is all that’s there. She is not cheating, says she does not want to date anyone else, she feels completely “numb inside”, and can no think of a marriage she would like to have.

ZOLOFT - lifejustgothard2

Oh wow! My h had been taking Zoloft and then decided to double his dosage on his own idea. And then started drinking more.

Not too li g after he left me and the kids.

He was so detached it was spooky.

PROZAC - AmericanGunner20 8

Idaho Falls, ID

My wife has been taking prozac for about 6 weeks and all of the sudden out of no where she starts having severe mood swings and riding an emotional rollercoaster and can't see that it is this drug she is taking and she thinks that she is happier now than ever before. Two days ago we got in a little spat and by the end of the conversation she said she was done and started ranting and raving about nothing and then 30 minutes later she was fine then we woke up and played with kids and then when we were getting ready to go to the park for a few hours she suddenly said ya know im tired of this relationship, i need to be alone and figure myself out. Then she proceeded to tell me that the marriage was done i can have the kids and everything else she just wanted her clothes and to be left alone, later that evening she was fine and it was like nothing had ever happened. Im not sure if i will be married by the time someone finds this post but im terrified, and she wont even think about talking to a doctor about it because she cant see that it is ruining our lives, yet she thinks she is happy. i hope that things work out for the best but for the love of your family and loved ones please do not take this drug due to its behavior that induses this kind of behavior, this is not my wife, before the drug we had almost the perefect relationship, she ahd a vitamin d problem and they gave her this drug instead of the right one, the only time i would recomend this drug is if the person acts like this without it and needs this med to help that behavior, but aside from that it ruins lives.

please if someone has any advice please please help my 3 children, wife, and myself overcome this demonic transformation that prozac has inflicted on my wife....please help.

PROZAC - Bobby

Pensacola, FL

Wow, all these stories are identical to mine. My wife of 3 1/2 years started taking prozac 2 months ago and out of no where moves out and says she is no longer in love with me. A complete 180 degree change from what she really is. She is a loving caring truthful mother and now she is lying, drinking excessively, is in an affair at the moment, neglecting her son. I am a wreck. In the past 45 days she has come back, then left, then come back and left and now she is gone again. In the last time last week she came back we went to the dr and convincened him to take her off the prozac. Granted she has only been on it for 2 months but how long does it take to get out of her system? Will my wife realize what is going on and come home? I love her with all my heart and she knows this. I can forgive her for anything and everything and have told her that. She hasnt spoke to me in the last 4 days and only way I can get ahold of her is email. I am lost and hurt and have hope from all of your stories that she will recover and come back. What advice do any of you have for me? I just have no one to talk to and it is so hard.

PROZAC - Sadwife

Camberley, UK

My husband is on prozac and is I believe hypermanic.... He also has no emotions, says he does for everyone except me but I dont believe him as he has not had a real interest in our child since taking this drug. I have sobbed my heart out in front of my husband and it doesnt even register. I have photos of this man looking at me and he is so in love, now he has no feelings whatsoever. I just dont know what I can do or say to stop him taking it.... nothing I fear.

Best of luck for your recovery and your continued strength x

PROZAC - Amanda love

Pompano Beach, FL

My husband started taking Prozac for a few months. Things seemed to make him more active then he naturally already was. We were newly weds. Have been married for 2 years now and he called it quits. Said that he no longer loves me and that he wants to be free and do his own things without having to let me know. Ive read almost all the posts and I'm currently trying to fight for him. I'm trying my best but so far no progress. What can I do to show him other than him reading about it.


Columbia, MD

Hello Everybody. Soo my now ex-girlfriend started taking prozac about the beginning of April. When she first started taking it, because of her therapist and parents encouragement, we were in "love." Litereally before she started taking it I was "too important for her to lose," "the only person she wanted to be around," pretty much what people say to each other when they are in love. She is at school hundreds of miles away but we talked everyday sometimes for hours at a time. I was also under the impression that we could talk about something if the other person was bothering us. But now I am crazy, have unrealistic expectations and all I do is sit around waiting for her to call (which is def not true at all). Our relationship has never been perfect and I know that I really am better off without her but that does not change the way I feel about her at all. Both of us are not 100 percent emotionally and/or mentally perfect but I have always been under the impression that nobody really is so it has never been my greatest concern to get medicated. I know that I made some mistakes, should have given her more space, been more patient and not put up such great defenses. But she changed and that is the only reason why I started acting the way I did because I could feel her distancing away from me and she even admitted that she was distancing away from me. I am really confused about what happened and she kept telling me all these things wrong with me.... That were exactly what I perceived to be wrong with her but ofcourse she denied that. Now that we are broken up she wont talk to me. Am I crazy to believe this medicine really had some effect on the way she feels about me?

PROZAC - Graham

Lincoln, UK

t's incredible reading all this. My partner of 7 years has recently abruptly and brutally ended our relationship. She was on Zoloft when I met her (which didn't seem to be a big problem) but then switched to Prozac a couple of years ago. I noticed almost from the start that something odd was happening to her (working away quite a lot I could see the changes gradually developing when I got home). Someone in another post used the brilliant phrase "hostile zombie", and that's almost exactly what my partner became. No laughter, no lovely "chilled out" times, sex always seemed a chore for her - just a kind of grumpy, zonked-out apathy. I still loved her deeply, but I kept thinking "what the hell happened to you?".

She limped along in our relationship on the meds, but recently told me she didn't love me anymore and that was that. Now, I know anti-depressants aren't the whole story in any relationship but this wonderful forum has made me see the whole thing from a new perspective. It's so sad because we were for our first years a great couple and we have a beautiful 3 year old. Good luck to everyone reading.

PROZAC - rdtx

United States

Hey all - first post - so here goes:

Married for 5 years - wife has OCD, Anxiety and Depression as well as a mild ED.

I suffered childhood abuse/trauma - admittedly, this has caused me to be emotionally distant as a defense mechanism - add that to the on/off up/down of the disorders and suffice to say, that once the new shine of the honeymoon wore off, things got to be stressful and I would just stay at arm's length - partly out of frustration - mainly out of confusion.(this is recently learned/internalized info via counseling)

We're both sober 7+ years - so that adds another layer to the burrito.

She had been on 80mg of Prozac daily for the past few years - which to my eyes, Zombified her in a big way - but I am the one tagged as 'Emotionally Unavailable'- when it always felt like she was wanting me to 'make her okay'- which is impossible for one human to accomplish.

Fast forward to 5 months ago - she suggests counseling and I (reluctantly - I'll admit it) agree - total luck of the draw that the Counselor is 23 years sober and is a Social Worker with tons of experience. He is awesome.

Things were progressing nicely (I thought) with a few heated moments between sessions (nothing major - we've never been name callers/etc) and I was starting to open up in a way I hadn't thought possible.

Along the way, she recieves a 16 week TMS Treatment - which is Magnetic Resonance Pulse to the brain to help A/D/etc.

It has definitely made her different - the docs started bringing her down to 60mg/day of Prozac.

Last Saturday we have an incredible heart to heart/moment of clarity - followed by lots of spooning - which led to what felt like geniune intimacy!

At the Counselor Tuesday night, she remarks how we 'turned a corner' and that I am 'getting so much better' and she's amazed/delighted/etc.

Counselor actually gets a little verklempt - I came away thinking 'Holy Sh!t - this is working'

Fast forward to yesterday - I go to the grocery store/cigar shop/etc - come home as she is going to lunch w/girlfriends and she is all 'love you/see you later'

Comes home at 6pm - walks in and declares 'I think I am done with this marriage.' WTFF?

Needless to say, I was bowled over -

I came unglued - all I could muster was:

'Leave. Now. GTFO.'

I was so hurt and in shock, I just wanted her out of my sight. I felt totally strung along - as though she never expected me to agree to counseling and only paid lip service to staying married until she had her parachute in order:

As she was/is a Contract Writer - her contract was renewed for another year last Wed - all I could think of was that she totally played it safe for the past few months until she knew she had $75K guaranteed for 2013 and within 72hrs, she was a totally different person.

All I know is that in my heart of hearts, I went to Counseling and participated/opened up and put forth my best effort.

Her 3 best friends have all gone thru divorces in the last year and are all on SSRIs - that is who she has been hanging with most of the time.

Am I crazy for feeling set up and/or blindsided? The person who came home yesterday was not the same person who left in the morning - it was like a stranger came home.

I posted this on a marriage board for 'Depression/Anxiety' and got crickets...turns out the posters were all on meds or close to it.

Thank God I found this site!!

PROZAC - Sadwife

Sandhurst, UK

Its ages since Ive been on here and hope all are ok.... I just wanted to post an update as I used to trawl sites in desperation looking for positive outcomes.... not sure how positive this will turn out to be but... Usual story, husband presribed SSRI (prozac), behaviour got worse with every increase until he decided he didnt love me any more and coldly left me and our child... that was October last year.... he started reducing almost as soon as he left (didnt need the drugs now he didnt have to live with me), in September this year (drug free) he contacted me to say he missed me... we have since had big chats and he has been honest (some of its fuzzy) about everything - other woman, what he has been up to etc.... but most importantly he acknowledged that all the things he said about me werent true, thanked me for my compassion and kindness and said that he honestly believed that I would never do anything to hurt him.

Its early days.... he still isnt himself but hes showing a massive improvement... and just wanted to update all looking for a bit of hope. Love and peace to all x


Lakewood, OH

Hi, all. I found this thread whilst searching for information regarding personality changes connected with antidepressants, especially Effexor and Prozac.

Here's what's on my mind, and I'm looking for some feedback:

I'm in my late 40s, not on any medication, and while I've had bouts of depression in my past and know I'm somewhat prone to it, I won't take antidepressants because the one time that I did (Zoloft) I had horrible side effects that were way worse than the original problem. I've had this effect with medications for physical problems a few times too, so given that my body apparently doesn't do well with meds, I've opted to treat whatever problems I have using diet, exercise and lifestyle if at all possible. I have my doctor's blessing and support for this, which is a good thing.

That said, I completely understand that this approach does not necessarily work for everyone, and if a person genuinely has a condition for which medication is the best or only treatment, then of course they should take medication for it... but their doctor should be on top of the situation regarding side effects, drug interactions, etc. And the patient should be aware of all of this and advocate strongly for him/herself, because doctors don't always know best.

All right. So why am I here, writing a post? Well, about five weeks ago I met a wonderful, caring, affectionate man in his early fifties. We began dating and it was a magical experience. He was always holding my hand, kissing my hair, putting his arm around me, hugging me and saying sweet things to me. In public, all of this! I hadn't been treated this way in ages, in fact, really not ever. It was as if he simply could not get enough of me, and believe me, I felt the same way (and still do).

We emailed, texted or talked every day or nearly so, and after a few dates we wound up in bed. He turned out to have ED but I didn't even mind because he was so attentive and affectionate, and made sure I enjoyed the experience anyway. My biggest issue was a lack of opportunity to return the favor, though I figured the ED was probably just a fluke, as he'd been sick for several days with a cold and had been tired and not feeling 100% even that day. I also resolved that if the ED turned out to be a frequent thing with him that I'd just find other ways for us to share pleasure together.

He backed off slightly after that night, and I attributed this to his being somewhat embarrassed over what hadn't happened. However, we continued to see each other and he was still very sweet to me, etc. A few days later he told me he'd been on Effexor for a while but was weaning off it because it was making him sick. A week or so later he told me he has Type II diabetes (diagnosed a couple of years ago), hypertension, high cholesterol and he also went on antidepressants around 2 years ago after struggling with depression for "most" of his life. He's tried like 5 different meds for it in 2 years, and is now taking Prozac (not sure if he's still weaning off Effexor too or not). He takes a ton of meds, and I think he expected me to run but I didn't, because I think I love him.(I haven't told him that, though.)

Problem: in the two weeks since he told me about the Effexor, he's become more distant. When we're together he still acts affectionate though not as much, but he'll go for days without contacting me, not responding to email, text, etc. and not initiating contact... then out of the blue he will. But it's kind of like he's a different person, less emotional, less affectionate, and I'm starting to feel ignored. What I'm wondering is how much of this might be a result of the meds, and if so, what can be done? Should I even mention this to him? Or do I just have to accept that maybe he isn't really the person I thought he was, or he was but now he won't be anymore, and maybe I should just accept that and move on to look for someone who won't leave me feeling ignored?

To say I'm confused is an understatement.

PROZAC - Jbarne13

Roanoke, VA

My girlfriend of 4 years told me out of the blue yesterday that she didnt know if she wanted to be with me anymore. Im completely devistated and heartbroken because this was the ideal good girl every man longs for. I cant cry anymore, ive cried them all away. she goes without calling me sometimes for the whole day when she use to couldnt go 3seconds without calling me, yesterday was her birthday and her parents through her a party and she pretty much told me she didnt want me there. Someone please help! my soul has died at the loss of my baby :(. The doctors put her on 40mg prozac for depression about a year ago and jus kept upping it up to 40mg.

PROZAC - overwrought

My wife and I have been married for almost 18 years and she's been on and off SSRI's our whole marriage (Zoloft, Effexor, Lexapro, and now Prozac). I've noticed a real change in her now that she's on Prozac. She recently has said that we aren't good for each other, that she loves me but isn't in love with me and hasn't been for a very long time. Don't get me wrong, we have our struggles as most couples do, but we always made it a point to not let the sun go down while we were angry with each other. We ALWAYS "kissed and made up". We forgave each other, realized that our argument was over something inconsequential, and that we were both being selfish. She now sees those times as us just "glossing over" the deep rooted problems. She doesn't hardly remember the good times we've had as a family and only remembers the times when I've gotten upset about something. Has anyone else noticed that on these drugs the memory is fine for the negative stuff, but happy times are forgotten easily? Anyway, we were VERY much in love. We knew we had found our soulmate. God had put us together like we were made for each other. She's been on Prozac for about 3 years now and is no longer in love with me. I've also seen a loosening of her inhibitions, not extreme, but definitely out of character. About 6 months ago she was seriously considering divorce. I didn't understand where her lack of love came from. I believe that God put the thought into my head wondering if the meds could suppress love. So I searched online and found this forum. After reading through many posts and praying with a friend about it, I delicately brought up that maybe the Prozac could be causing a dampening of her love emotions. You would think I had just accused her best friend of being unfaithful. She said that there were real deep rooted problems and that I was just looking for something to place the blame on to take the responsibility off of myself. This whole thing is so baffling to me. She's very close to her mother, who has also noticed a change. Perhaps she will listen to her. Her perception seems so clouded. She sees all the change in her as good. Granted some of it seems good, like less anxiety, but there's MUCH less joy as well. I'm praying for a miracle and that her eyes would be opened or at least that her heart would be willing to appease me and go off the meds. She's the love of my life, the girl I had always hoped would be by my side forever, so this is killing me.


Crestone, CO

Thank you for all of this. I now understand why it did not matter how much I tried to be with my ex she still would have not gotten back together with me. She took a 180 after taking Prozac.


Hi, my name is Jesse and I've been looking on the internet for side effects of Prozac. My girlfriend of one year suffered from anxiety attacks and a mild form of depression so she was put on 20mg of Prozac. A few weeks ago, it was upped to 60mg and I've been noticing very big changes.

She told me that she needed some more time to herself and started spending more time with friends. She claims that the medicine has made her more social and she wants to go do things (she's usually shy). Unfortunately, one of those things is drinking. I'm very concerned about this because she drinks more often than she should and to the point that she doesn't remember things. She is easily angered as well. If I try to explain my feelings, she doesn't seem to have as much interest but still expects me to acknowledge and respect hers. Just aggressive behavior. Even stranger is that this behavior doesn't seem to be consistent. Some days she is like this, and others she is almost back to her old self.

I don't like who she is becoming and this is scaring me. Is this situation abnormal? Should she lessen her dosage or possibly stop taking the medicine? Does she have any other problems that need to be addressed? Most importantly, what can I do if anything can be done? Please, help!



About 12 years ago I was mis prescribed and put on 4-6 times the dosage of Zolof.  Eventually i weened myself off that drug as I just did not feel 'right" the whole time I was on it.  I still perspire uncontrolably at times from that experience. Since then I have been in two different relationships with women both on anti depressants.  The first lady took them like vitamins and the second under a doctors care as she has fibromalagia.  

In both cases my relations ship fell apart with these woman. Both women lost the ability to "feel".   The second lady was caring and sensitive and had emotions when I met her.  Her doctor increased her from 75 mg to 150 to 300 mg.  This has turned her into a completely insensitive and uncaring and non emotional person that cannot cry anymore, no longer is intimate, says insensitive things without any though to the devastating effects of her uncaring statements. There should be a requirement that doctors consult or give a referral contact number to the significate others that are involved with their patients taking this stuff.  The damned chemicals have destroyed two of my relationships and the sad thing is the patients once on this stuff cannot even process the information that their loved one is trying to communicate to them!  They will state that the drug has not effected them in any way.  They just don't get it? The love of my life is gone...I cannot reach her anymore...she is gone and I simply dont know what to do? She is not in a dark abiss and I cannot reach her!!! Is it even responsible for a doctor to step up the prescription of Effecsor from 75 to 150 to 300 Mgs? Am I the only person in this world suffering from this happening to their love relationship?  I can also be contacted for those in central MN at kwpeterson@aol.com.  Id luv to start a support group!!!  It been like watching a person I love in a boat drift out to sea....so very sad.

Thank you,


ZOLOFT - Lilly

My boyfriend started on 50mg of Zoloft to treat anxiety. He thought he was dying and after the doctor did ever physical test, that it was only his mind that had a problem. At first, 50 mg seemed like a miracle. He was relaxed, not a shopaholic and was drinking a lot less. When the upped his dosage to 100mg as a natural progression – everything went disasterously wrong. My sensitive caring emotional partner -became cold, unfeeling and ruined our relationship. It was dramatic. But he is proud of his new found independance. He didn’t care anymore when anyone thought. He got a hair transplant, went on trips with his single screwed up buddies. Started partying and drinking very heavily, and then the final kicker – he announced he was accepting a job in Bermuda, without even consulting me. He has been in my life for 17 years, and we’ve had a home together for 5. I know him better than he knows himself normally – and this is NOT him. After turning my life upside down in the last 6 months, I was still willing to move to Bermuda with him. Then I got the call to tell me he stills loves me, but has no feelings for me anymore. It makes no sense. He’s left us all. His son, all our families, our kitties, his house. He rents a suite and drives a scooter, and has never looked back. I’m devastated, as is the rest of them family. He did say he felt a bit ‘off’ and would ask the doctor to reduce his meds to 50mg. But that’s only been for a week now. I don’t know what to do…

ZOLOFT - sm34

Hi everyone. I was given the I love you but I am not in love with you crap just 2 weeks ago, and the bomb that there is another man. We went from a loving couple to the brink of divorce with infidelity in the span of 3 weeks.

My wife was having a little anxiety and went to see a therapist for the FIRST TIME in her life on September 28th. She was put on Zoloft. On November 23rd she had a second appointment and the therapist doubled her dosage to 100mg. On November 29th, she says she has not loved me in four or five years and wants a divorce so she can run away with a guy she has been chatting to for just 10 days! We have been in a loving relationship for 14 years and have a 3 year old daughter!!

BE WARNED. If your spouse is on an anti depressant and they are walking out on you, you don't need to be DBing, you need to have an intervention and show them these sites:

straight from the annual meeting of the American Psychiatric Association as reported in the New York Times.

"Now, after years of families being guinea pigs for these drugs, comes the scientific research to show how the drugs actually produce the destruction of relationships that have survived years of many other traumas. The article discusses how they have found a sudden loss in feelings for a mate when using these drugs in marriages over 40 years old - marriages that have survived years of many other traumas."

"The researchers also point to more extreme cases like people who say losing their sex drives caused romantic feelings toward longtime spouses to evaporate suddenly."

ZOLOFT - Damian

SSRI - L. S.

I just lost my feonsay.

She had been on antidepressant for 2-3 months.

And it ended just like it did with all of you.

I went home for a few days.

When I was leaving, she came running from the cinema just to say goodbye one more time before my train left. She showed me so much love that day.

But when I got back,she said that she didn’t like me, that I annoyed her,and that she didn’t love me.

She said that she still cared about me, still loved me as a friend, but she had no romantic feelings for me.

She even said that if she still had feelings for me, she definitely would want to try to fix things. But the feelings were gone. within four days!

It’s not like I did something awful, i messed up a couple of times, but i thought we would get throug it. I tried as best I could to support her. I moved to a new city whit her, just so she could be with her ​​family and friends, because

she has struggled a lot with depression.

We were so happy together. So happy just to have each other. We just had to get through the tough period she was in.

This doesn’t seem like her at all. And it’s really strange that she lost all her feelings for me so quickly.

She has always been a person who never gives up in relationships. She was determined to stay, as long as her partner didn’t treated her very cruelly. REALLY cruelly!

I think those pills are making her believe that she doesn’t love me anymore.

I can’t give up! All I hope for, is that she gets back her feelings for me, when she stops taking those pills.

SSRI - Burt

There are love stories brought to such abrupt ends with chemicals that it seems tough to stay up with the destruction. It seemed a switch was turned off in my ex-wife’s heart and mind, 18 years into our marriage, 3 kids and a great life.

A wife who was caring and soft, shy but strong, enjoyed the depth of our relationship, educated and cultured has turned into an demonic, self destructive, cold and selfish man eater.

Prescribed SSRI or SNRI to help her mild depression by an onset of menopause,she had taken the same for almost 2 years and the effects of which my kids and me are going to suffer our lifetimes.

While on these pills, she turned into an ogre who snapped, kicked and screamed for no reason, over reacted, turning uncaring (even to our youngest 4 year old boy). She took her time off and involved herself into things that she ‘enjoyed’.

She got hooked into the PS and then the internet with MySpace and other social networking sites. That’s when we lost her. Our eldest daughter came across details of my wife’s surfing history on the family PC and found her chatting up young guys, visiting nude pictures of them and even her visits to cyber sex rooms. This was about the time, when she had already given up her pills (she had started putting on weight and got some twitches). She had got off them with consultation from some gym trainer and decided that she no more needs them as she was ‘feeling good’.

Today our eldest daughter has moved out (she got lucky) with her best pal, refuses to acknowledge Ma and only visits me at work. Now divorced I sit and look after our kids while my wife roams the city, oblivious to the havoc she has wreaked on all of us.

I visit our shrink (we still have the same contacts) and she has asked my wife to see someone else for medical help. The shrink has known us too long and cannot help her anymore, coz she bursts into tears when my ex visits. She is a ‘use & throw’ person in our neighborhood. My kids and me keep in touch as they still need a mother but even they know this is not the same woman they knew as their Ma. Won’t be long before they give up on her too.

Sadly I have great memories of a good life that was.

We have no idea where this ends but have a sure idea when this began. Will post again at a later stage.

SSRI - Alex

I watched my boyfriend change from a loving caring guy doing his absolute best to keep us together into a careless angry cold hearted animal. these meds sent him crazy. they took away the guy i fell in love with and replaced it with a confused angry person. and the worst part is he doesnt even see what its done to him.

Effexor - Goldsiivi

Hey all, this post is not about paxil, it's about efexor. My now ex girlfriend has been taken efexor for a rough estimate of 4-5months. She has told me that she feels numb, and also that her feelings for me suddenly just stopped in June. She left me in June, and after that it has been hell for me.

We have been seeing eachother once a while after the divorce. Sometimes it even feels like we're back together. She tells me she loves me, we cuddle etc. This can last from 2days to 1 week. Then the next morning she wakes up and says "I'm going home now", and just leaves. No goodbye kisses or anything. This leads to no contact from her until I message her, which leads to her telling me that it's better that we stop seeing eachother completely. After that, she treats me like ****, and after ~2weeks of this going on, she wants to hang with me again. This has been going on for 3 months soon. And I am so exhausted, because I don't know if this will ever end. I know the best thing to do would be to forget her and never let her come close again, but I just can't do that.

I love this girl, and I am ready to go through anything to get her back. But thing is that I'm really tired emotionally because of this. I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety in July, and I am pretty sure it is because of this nonsense. She told me that her medication ends in 2 weeks, I'm unsure if this means she is going to stop taking them or if she is just going to see a doctor again and get more meds >_>.

I don't know why I'm writing this, I just need to unload my feelings to somewhere.

Thanks for reading, and sorry for my bad english.

EFFEXOR - Just Wondering

New Brunswick, NJ

I went through this exact scenario. My now ex-wife and I were together for 15 years (married for 11). We have two kids, a home and were always very happy. She was prescribed Effexor for generalized anxiety. 4 months later her behavior started to change, she started lying and sneaking around, had an affair, told me she now realizes she never loved me, divorced me and was seeing someone else before the divorce was even final. Her own family and all of our friends are all still completely shocked by her change in behavior. I have spoken with all of them and all of them have told me she never said anything to anyone about being unhappy or not loving me until after she started taking these meds. I have been on other blogs and read similar stories about people's changes in personality, loss of inhibition, etc. It has had a devastating effect on me, our children and our families. As with the other stories I have read, she refuses to believe the meds have affected her in any way and is adamant that she always felt this way despite what our friends and family saw. These meds are overprescribed and ruin lives as they have mine. I hope this helps.


Omaha, NE

My husband has been taking Effexor since a nervous breakdown 9 months ago. He was the most honorably, honest, truthful man on the face of the earth. Recently I found out he is having an affair with the receptionist in his office. He tells me he loves her. He asked for a divorce. All family (my side and his) have noticed a big personality change and can't believe he's giving up his wife, a beautifully remodeled home, 22 acres of land, horses, etc. He seems cold and doesn't have a conscience whatsoever. He went on a fishing trip with my father-in-law and my 3 brothers. They told me he was constantly on the phone with who they now know as his girlfriend. He made the calls right in front of them! I am convinced that Effexor ruined our marriage and I wonder about filing a lawsuit with the makers of this horrible drug!

EFFEXOR - Just Wondering

Cranbury, NJ

Has anyone experienced a situation where someone comes off Effexor but the effects are permanent? My ex-wife went on Effexor, had many of the side effects listed in these blogs - her personality changed, she cheated on me, divorced me almost overnight - all stuff that no one in our family understands or saw coming. She has now been off for about a month and still seems very adamant that she never loved me (despite our having been married and together for 15 years, two kids, and very happy together - which even our friends and family agree she never said or showed any signs of being unhappy or not loving me). I know it takes 4 to 6 weeks to clear out of someone's system and she seems somewhat back to her old self except w/respect to our relationship. Am I just in denial or could the effects be permanent (I also realize she could be in denial and unwilling to acknowledge what she has done was wrong). Any info or help would be great.

EFFEXOR -  Just Wondering

Cranbury, NJ

Roy - thank you. She claims she didn't just wake up one day and feel this but that she has felt it for years but, again, absolutely nobody saw any signs of unhappiness. It just feels like I have no closure. I refuse to believe that my own sense failed me for 15 years and that the sense of everyone close to us were fooled for years. We can all tell when someone close to us is sad or angry even if we ask them and they say they are ok. So I just can't believe no one noticed it. The result though is that every new day hurts b/c I can't let go. I don't know how to do that, especially since we share custody of our kids and, therefore, occassionally see or speak to one another.

EFFEXOR -  Confused

Fort Worth, TX

These messages sound so familiar to me. My wife went into a deep depression about 6 months ago. After going to the doctor she was prescribed 150. mg. effexor. Days after taking this devil drug, she began a dramatic transition from of loving, caring mother to a completely different person. She became very premiscous, feeling like she was the hottest person of the face of the planet. She quickly found a boyfriend and moved into an apartment. She is verbally abusive, rude and has no remorse for breaking up our 15 year marriage. She recently lost her job after 18 years for sexual harassment. She has lost everything she has ever worked for. I too would like to sue the bastards that made this evil drug. It has ruined my life, my sons life, her life and everyone around her. Will she ever come around and realize what she has done? Will she ever say she is sorry?

EFFEXOR -  Chuck

New Munster, WI

I can't believe there is page after page of this. My ex switched to Effexor XR as her anti-depressant and 18 months later filed for divorce. The downward slide and change in her personality over that time was extreme. She had been on Zoloft for many years prior and it was not a problem, or not the problem that the Effexor became. Different people react differently to anti-d's, dramatically different, and the medical community doesn't seem to get it. It will take years but this psych med era will eventually be remembered for its crude approach to brain chemistry and the havoc it brought to countless families.

EFFEXOR -  desperate for help

Erlanger, KY

My husband started taking effexor about 6 months ago for anxiety, deppression and not being able to focus. It worked great and we thought this stuff was a miracle. Then at about 4 months it began to change quickly. Angry outbursts, irrational behavior and incoherant rambling. I later realized this happened because he had forgotten to take his effexor for 2 days. He got physically sick and acted completely insane. I took him to a psychiatrist who weaned him off effexor going from 150 for 2 weeks, then to 75 for 2 weeks, then 37.50 for 1 week. It has been 1 week since his last dose.

He has become so verbally abusive that I can't have him in the house. I don't know how long this will last and I can't get him to think rationally. I am so scarred, I love my husband but I have read some scarry things about this drug. What if he really has permanent personality changes. I have 2 children and can't face a divorce. We were always happy and I want to be there for him but he ripps me apart (verbally) from dusk till dawn. He blames me for everything. I have asked him to leave the house when he gets in these rages but they aren't getting any better. He is making seriously bad choices right now and I don't know how much longer I can live like this. I am becomming sick and depressed myself.

any advice would be helpful

EFFEXOR -  Seriously Frightened

Springfield, MO

My wife of eight years has been on Effexor for about a year now. She was prescribed, for pre-menapausal symtoms, the lowest dose (37.5) then moved to 75mg. She did her own research and discovered the addictive nature and the side effects accociated with this poison. she told her Dr. she wanted off, but the Dr. insisted that this is the best, and safest treatment possible, and aggreed to move her back to the lower dose. All was fine for the next 6-8 months, but I and our friends noticed some differences in her. She occaisionally would start crying and say that she wasn't sure she still loved me. She would get irritable and uncharacteristically get extremely judgemental. You must understand, this is the most level woman I have ever known. You would never even know about her period unless she mentioned it. Nothing bothered her. Now to the present day; She now tells me that she hates me, and never loved me. She can't take any kind of a joke, which once loved exchanging barbs. If I even mention what I have learned on the net about this poison, you will go into a rage. I am now live elsewhere, but that doesn't stop me from loving her, as I do realize that THIS person is not her. In the last several months, alcohol is having a very unpleasant effect on her, as she doesn't seem to know what enough is, and goes way overboard. Jan. 5th of 08 we took a trip to the British Virgin Islands, and one night we went to a popular restaurant and bar. After a couple of drinks she was wanting to dance the night away, and I was game because she really seemed to be enjoying herself. After six hours of dirty dancing with all the men, and get this, drinking out abandoned drinks where ever she found them, we went back to our boat. She wanted to make love, and as she is a beautiful woman, I was very willing to oblige, as this has become a very rare occaision. After we returned to the states, she has decided that she does not now nor did she ever love me. When asked about the actions in the BVI she says that was just her way to hurt me, as she had no feelings at all that night. This story goes on, but I think I have made my point. ANYONE??????????

she tells me I've said and done things that hurt her deeply and she could never forgive or forget, however she can't be specific. She actually changed the locks at our home Friday, and when I asked why, she said"Idon't know, I just did". Our friends are devastated. I heard from a couple last night that told me that our marriage had inspired them to a happier marriage. Seems that they always admired our relationship, had had decided if we could be that happy, that they could put more effort into their own relationship. That's the kind of marriage we had! Then after Effexor 100 to 0 in 1 year!!!!!!!!!! I told her Dr. that I would sue her and her nurse if anything happened to my wife. I don't know what made her to decide to do this, but I do know that one statement I made may have gotten through. I told that I would not agree to, sign, or even negotiate anything pertaining to divorce until she either proved me wrong or got off of this poison. I would not allow a substance end our marriage. Anybody out there reads that, you might try it yourself.

SSRI - Seriously Frighted

Victoria, TX

My wife is the most tollerant, un assuming, trusting, truthful, humble...etc. person I have ever known. She is the exact opposite now. I want her back. She refuses to read any of the things here.


Cleveland, OH

Hi, This is my first time to read the things in this site and I am amazed. It's like there must be a "Effexor" script that spouses follow when they take this drug. Word for word my ex stated so many of the same statements after about our relationship. "I don't love you. I've never loved you. I have no feelings for you. " etc. He ended our 15 yr marriage with an affair (that he denies even with physical evidence) with a coworker. He is has no affect or empathy and continued the affair while I underwent chemo treatments. It was like something from a movie. We had a great relationship, two kids, nice home, and he never spoke of any problems until he started taking the effexor. There has got to be some link. I thought it was just depression at first, but then i noticed all the wierd personality changes and mood swings. I sent him for more therapy, but then he was only a happy man having an affair. It's odd that all of these stories have similar characteristic of needing to escape. None of these people told their spouses of any marital problems prior to having affairs. I can certainly understand people having marital issues and but why are they not honest with their spouses instead of running away and denying affairs. My ex was the absolute last person one would suspect of telling a lie and definitely of having an affair. It is certainly very validating to read so many similar stories. It is sad to have lost a loved one to this drug, but I have grieved the loss of the man that I loved and this new person is not anyone that I even enjoy spending time with. I pray for him and his fiance because it must be awful to not know who you really are. Which came first the mental illness or the drug.. the proverbial chicken or the egg? It certainly raises some interesting questions. I hope there is a mental health or pharmacutical researcher out there that explores this issue.

EFFEXOR -  Damaged Spouse

Springfield, MO

I may need to look elsewhere, but I'm running out of options here. My wife is on Effexor 37.5mg daily for menopause, and has been for nearly a year. Here's the deal! First couple of months, things were great, next couple of months she started to change (especially towards me). After about eight months she suddenly doesn't love me or care for me anymore, and we are now seperated. I have asked her many times what exactly changed her mind about our marriage. Do you know how sick I am of hearing "I don't know"? the only communication we have anymore is email or text message. She will not meet me face to face, she will not look me in the eye. She changed the locks on our house, and when asked why..."I don't know"!!!!!

I have read about the Emotional Blunting, among other side effects from this hellish drug. ANYONE OUT THERE EXPERIENCED/EXPERIENCING THIS BEHAVIOR, and if so, what am I supposed to do? I have called her Dr. and she doesn't believe this is a side effact. My wife refuses to believe that anything has changed within her. This, by the way, is a Spirit Filled Christian who wouldn't lie if her life depended on it. Now she lies constantly, and was drinking to Black Out stage. Last week she had me seved with divorce papers, and when asked why..."I don't know"!!!! She told me yesterday, as I have been extremely insistant that she get off this Satinistic medication, that she will be visiting the Dr. tomorrow. My prayers are that the Dr. can talk some sense into her. I'm hoping that my last call to her Dr. got through to her. ANY HELP IS APPRECIATED. BTW our marriage is considered "Story Book" by all our friends. In eight years we never even had a argument. Here's my personal email.


EFFEXOR -  Had enough

Rockland, Canada


29 year marriage here about to collapse.

Wife started effexor 3 yrs ago, then behavoir changed completely. Became very social and stayed out all night playing pool, drinking, and ultimately now is a cocaine addict. She is now living with a disgusting person who is a cocaine dealer (small time) and we can't take it anymore.

4 kids, house the whole nine yards. Tried to get her off the effexor but she said it gave her her life back. That's true, but its gone off completely to the other side now.

I have to call it quits now, she is locked out of the house forever. That's something she didn't want but had no choice.

Effexor was prescribed by a family doctor who probably didnt follow my wife as well as she could. The doctor did try and get my wife off it, but didn't stand up to her.

Best of luck to all of you out there.

We have to turn the page and move on.

From Had Enough (of this and the darn snow this year)....

EFFEXOR -  nightmare90

Fond Du Lac, WI

My husband did the same thing. Was the most loving, kind upstanding man. One in a million.

All of a sudden his behavior changed to the total opposite.Doesn't care about anything, or show compassion or concern. It took me years to finally realize it started since he was put on these psyche drugs. Effexor xr, colonzapam (sp?), ritalin. Ruined my life, stole my husband, my life has been a nightmare of tears and hurt.

I pray this will be made known to the public.

I hate his pill pushing Doctor. He doesn't care either. Wonder how mabny drugs he's on

ZOLOFT - cindy

Raleigh, NC

I have lived a complete nightmare with my husband being on zoloft (ssri) for yearssssssssss. He got on it 6 years ago with one break inbetween for only about 4 months where it took 2 of the months OFF for him to even act somewhat like himself again and start loving me again (he loved me again after being off for 2-3 months, he had been on them for 2 years the first time with a break for 4 months , then back on since then-3 1/2 years now. The first time was horrible with him totally apathetic, hostile, indifferent, sneaky, isolated, like a stranger (he went from 20 mgs to 150 in a few months and the higher the dose the more horrible he became!) THEN he went off and I had my somewhat normal husband back, BUt terrible side effects coming off. THEN afer the second time on (and he still is on Zoloft), he became even more indifferent, all of the above, but WORSE!!! He would say we didn't need a house (we were looking for a new home) because we did "NOT" have a family and there was not family here. He plotted out amd planned to leave me for a period of about 2 years, and started having an affair before we were divorce (just 3 weeks ago and I begged literally for him not to do this). His parents believed everything he said about this all being me, not him or his medicine. But his daddy takes the SSRIs also! And that has hurt me so much, not having the support of any of his family. They do not understand the danger of these drugs. I KNOW that my husband loves me (we had been married-would have been-16 years come Aug. this year). Even my parents are trying to say now that he probably never loved me. I have been devastated and have gone through what I feel HELL for these 6 years of him being on this deadly drug and saying he didn't care, etc.. It is totally evident that my spouse changes with the drugs, he loves me and can't live without me when NOT on them, then after only a few weeks on them, he doesn't care, and as he ups his dose from small to large, it gets sooooo bad! I have greived the lose of my loving husband. My chidren do not even remember any longer the man he WAS and only remember that he is "weird and crazy and does wrong things." I wanted them so to know the REAL man that loved them. He doesn't even love them the way he did or should, When My daughter stopped seeing him (she is 14) this year a few months ago when he blantly threw this girl in my children's faces at a restaurant where he had taken them for dinner (they were just out with him as usual since we had separated). He picked this girl up and proceeded to kiss her and hug on her calling her "sweetie." The chilren were shocked and called me up telling me of this girl.

I can relate to all of these people that have had to go through this nightmare. IS THERE SOMETHING WE CAN DO LEGALLY ABOUT THE FDA DOING THIS TO PEOPLE AND ALLOWING THESES DRUGS TO STAY ON THE MARKET EVEN THOUGH THEY KNOW THAT THEY DO THIS AND ALSO MAKE PEOPLE DO THINGS LIKE KILL PEOPLE, HURT PEOPLE AND OTHER WEIRD THINGS OUT OF CHARACTER. I have called them twice myself and told them about this. The just make their records. I have called pfizer also and they will tell you that they know that these drugs do this, BUT that they put a warning on their label, etc.. and just told me to call the FDA. PLEASE ALL OF YOU THAT SEE THIS AND THE OTHER POST, CALL THE FDA ASAP BECAUSE NOTHING WILL BE DONE IF YOU DON'T. Let me know if we can take out a class action lawsuit or anything, I want justice about what they have let happen to my life, my husband, my marriage,and most of all my children through all of this losing their daddy.

PAXIL - Angel

After 2 years I had to say good bye to my boyfriend. He went on paxil and quickly became cold. He cut down from 40mg to 20 and was a little better and seemed happy. Then he went up some days to 80mg.

It was as though a light blew out in him. He was the sweetest, most lovable passionate man I ever knew. All that went away. He lost all empathy and he became mean. He was never mean!

I am in a daze from heart ache.

He is oblivious to how he is now and there was no talking to him, there is no one home anymore. It is as though his spirit left. Blank eyes.

I can’t sleep at night, my mind is racing and heart is hurting. I have giving up on ever seeing him again. The man I knew died.

PAXIL - Jane

Rochester, NY

I found this site while searching for answers on the internet to why my life was suddenly falling apart.

My husband and I have been married 10 years (together for 15). My story is so simliar to the others posted here.

We had a good life together, three kids and I thought we were happy.

After my husband experienced a major depression two years ago, life changed dramatically. He sought counseling and was put on Paxil. Nothing has been the same since. Within a couple of months, the depression symptoms did seem to get better but he began sneaking around, drinking on a nightly basis and getting close to a coworker.

I caught him in lie and after lie and he continued to deny all of it. He admitted to the coworker eventually but to this day insists they are nothing more than friends.

He has been off and on the medication over the course of the two years. He'd take himself off when he thought he was feeling better - because he felt the drug made him want to drink. He never weaned himself off - just stopped taking it. Then as soon as he started to feel over stressed, he would go back on it. Counseling ended long ago.

Suddenly in the last 6 months - he has realized that the original trigger for the depression isn't what he thought it was. Now he is convinced that our relationship has been troubled for a very long time. He says he feels nothing when it comes to me. His personality is nothing like it was before. He has moved out and I don't know that he is coming back.

He is seeking counseling again - but I don't know if I will ever get my husband back. He believes that his depression and medication have nothing to do with any of this. It is all just a relationship that fell into a rut and we fell out of love a long time ago. If this is true, how did I not know. How did our families not see it?

I am sad, lonely, I worry about my children and the heredity of this illness. I mourn the loss of my husband to this disease and these drugs.

I want so bad to put my family back together - but I am not holding out much hope at this point.


Phoenix, AZ

I just now found this web sight, it's like I've reading my own story.

I have been married for 22 years and have two wonderful children. My wife has always had depression due to a very rough childhood. during our marriage, my wife gained over 130 pounds as a means of dealing with her issues, didn't matter I loved her all the same.

My wife had gastric bypass surgery some four years ago (the stomach pouch)and lost all the weight but was never satisfied with the way she looked. I could never tell her enough times how pretty she was, etc.

I was hospitalized for ~20 days this past December with a major abdominal injection, this put more stress on my already fragile wife.

I healed.

Once I was able to work I was gone. I'm a consultant so I travel to companies for a week at a time, never more then 8 days then I don't travel for a month or so.

My wife began taking Effexor in early March as I was healing to deal with severe depression. By April, my wife had changed dramatically. The changes included anger, severe mood swings and she was especially hard on my son. I tried to tell my wife that she had changed and that she should see her PCP about the medication, her response was "I need the meds right now, I have no family and my father is dying a pitiful death". My wife always stated that her father was the main cause of her depression for years.

While I was away, my wife erupted in a phone conversation and stated she wanted a divorce. The next day she moved all her belonging out of the house and cleaned out the bank accounts. Oh, and my wife left our kids behind too. I got home as quickly as possible but my wife was a ranging mad women, there was no way to get through to her.

My wife filed for divorce some five weeks after moving out, she has dis-owned her son and wants custody of our daughter only. FYI my son looks like her father. during this time, my wife has called to tell me that she has not loved me for the past year, and in later conversations the past ten years. It's bizarre. My kids are teenagers and know that their mom is not well, but it doesn't stop her from hurting all of us.

I look back and I can see the "melt" down coming and it all started when my wife got on

Effexor. Our divorce will be final in a month, I cannot speak to my wife because she causes me nothing but pain, my son will not speak to her either.

The effects of the personality change were swift and harsh and the damage done. The pain has been worse then anything I could have imagined, especially the emotional damage done to my son.

I will fight tooth and nail to maintain sole custody of my kids. But my wife through 22 good years of marriage away in two days time.

This drug is killing families. I acknowledge that my wife has emotional issues; but this drug made my wife into a emotionless zombie full of hate; she feels no remorse nor does she even acknowledge her actions. If you have a loved one taking this drug, I suggest you keep a very close eye on them better yet get them to a good doctor for a complete evaluation.

I'm still hurting big time over this whole episode but I will move on, I have too. When it's all said and done I hope my wife someday feels the pain she has caused us; if there is a God please let it be.

EFFEXOR -  Hurt and confused

Vance, AL

As I read the comments on this site I can't help but be thoroughly amazed. I thought I was losing my mind, but as I read all these things they sound so familiar. I am not married, but I did meet and fall in love with the woman of my dreams a little over a year ago. I have never gotten along with anyone as well as I did with her. The relationship was truly and honestly perfect. She was loving, caring and very attentive. She was unlike anyone I had ever known.

I found out that she had suffered from depression after her divorce a few years ago and had been prescibed Effexor. She had gotten off of it before I met her and hadn't taken it in over a year. She went to the doc for a checkup and he prescribed this med to her again for no reason other than she had complained of being a little tired. That's when my life and ours together slowly started to deteriorate.

She said a few months ago that she didn't want to see me anymore and gave no reason other than she felt it was the right thing to do. There is no reasoning or talking to her and she seems to be completely unaffected by the pain she is causing me. She can't see it and has said several times that she doens't fell as if anything is wrong. I've pointed her to this site and she read it and denied that she is doing any of these things.

I am deeply saddened that we can't seem to make things work, but I'm really worried more about her well being and the well being of her 3 children. I'm hurt, confused and scared for her. She is a different person than the one I knew and I really don't know what this new, cold and uncaring person is capable of. Will she ever be the same?

ZOLOFT - luluby

Medicine Hat, Canada

I am SO sorry to hear everyone's story. My "spousal equivalent", whose I've known for 17 years (lived with for 5 yrs) started zoloft at 50 mg in Oct 07 for anxiety. He thought he was dying of a mystery disease, but DR said he was perfectly healthy-- it was just an anxiety disorder. Seems good at first (and I'm a total drug proponent) he was shopping less (was a shopaholic), drinking less...was mellower. I did notice he was a bit 'cooler' but was still being nice enough. By Jan 2008, DR raised him to 100mg (as part of the normal dosage increase)and so the last 6 months have been a nightmare for me. At first i kept writing it off as 'midlife crisis'(he's 43)- but it just got worse and worse. He started drinking like a fish, partying with new friends like he was 21. He'd come home drunk at 3am several times a month and offer no apology or remorse. He got a hair transplant. Went on a drinking binge/guy trip to London, and completely disconnected from me. At best he 'tolerated' me and and at worst, treated me with disdain. We live in a beautiful house with our kitties (that he used to adore and carry around like they were his little furry kids), in a great neighborhood. We went on many trips last year - Europe, California, Mexico, UK. We have no financial troubles, and are the center of our family for bbq's, christmas, thanksgiving. He was never depressed, just anxious about his health because his dad died young, and he thought he might too. Things went from bad to worse when he casually announced that he had accepted a job in the Cayman Islands, without even consulting me first. We had always talked about moving somewhere beautiful someday and enjoying a different lifestyle for a couple of years - but not like this. So he left our home (we spent 3 yrs renovating)- our family, his own teenage son, his job, and his friends, everyone here that LOVES him (he was very popular)to live on an Island where nobody knows him or cares about him. He loved his country club membership and his old jag that he wanted to fix up this summer. He had love, money, toys and freedom. He used to be a sentimental fool, and would tear up easily. But he left everything without shedding a tear. Now on the island - he rents the back end of someone's house, drives a scooter, and hasn't looked back. I played along with his impulse, found a good job on the island - applied for a work visa...and was ready to leave everyone I love behind just to follow him. But then I got a call from him early in the morning telling me he 'loves me, but has no feelings for me'. Hmmmm, and that maybe I "shouldn't come" after all. I'm still living in our home, surrounded by his things...our things. Pictures, clothes..half started projects. The house is now up for sale. All our plans for the future vanished...I feel like he has died, but I am still waiting for him to walk through the door. But he is gone. he bought a boat there, and drinks and parties with his new buddies in their 20's. He still tells me he loves me everyday, but that he's not sure what he's doing right now. He swears there is no one else. He did this all 1 month to the day before my 40th birthday - and said it was because he didn't want to marry me like I had hoped. I had to go back to work and tell my boss and everyone I wasn't leaving after all. Family and friends were stunned - but no one more than me. I am just struggling to get through each day, and keep hoping this is all a bad dream. BTW - he has gone back down to 50mg, and is already much more expressive and loving towards me. I've urged him to see a DR there and ask for help to be weened off. It's so hard because I still love him, and want to believe we can get through this...but it may already be too late.:(

EFFEXOR - Just Wondering

Abington, PA

Shilo - I feel for you and your situation. I don't think anyone questions a decision like yours. But, I think you'll find that most of the people on this board come from a situation where their relationships were healthy and strong and Dr.s prescribed the A-Ds to deal w/some garden variety anxiety. In my own situation, there was none of what you described. My ex-wife was diagnosed w/generalized anxiety (she got panic attacks when driving) and immediately put on Effexor. W/in 3 months she was telling her friends and family she never loved me, there was no hope for our marriage and she was divorcing me. Soon thereafter she had an affair. Since this all began I have spoken to her own family and friends and cannot find one that said she ever mentioned being even remotely unhappy in our 15 years together. They were all just as shocked as I was. Not even her own mother and sister. Nothing. No complaints. No acting out or seeming sad. By all accounts (including letters she sent me and voicemails she left me about a month befor everything happened) she was completely happy and in love w/me. Soon after the A-Ds she claimed she never loved me and she wanted to be free to live HER life. She then divorced me and left, got a tattoo, started smoking (at age 36), etc. It is the almost overnight change in personality that many people see which destroys lives. My guess is that you have a support system of friends that recognize how he treated you before the effexor. In many instances (as in mine) friends and family begged her to get off the meds b/c of the changes they saw in her and b/c what she was saying made no sense, but she didn't listen and me and my children and our friends and families have suffered b/c of it.

EFFEXOR - joaniem

Richton Park, IL


I can answer some of the questions. I am Shilo's mom. Are family & friends shocked? You bet! Has her behavior changed? Definitely. Has she attempted any reconciliation? No. Has she engaged in self destructive behavior? Unfortunately, yes. Has she gone for any counseling for herself? Not lately. Has her husband? Yes. Have his negative behaviors changed? Yes. Has he been going to anger management classes to deal with his problems? Yes, and it has helped him a lot. Has she gone for marital counseling? Once, and she did most of the talking.

Did Shilo decide to leave her husband & children for 12 days to go on a 'soul searching' trip. Did she invite 3 guys she met in a bar to her hotel? Yes. She was robbed, but fortunately not raped or murdered. Was this the type of behavior she would have exhibited pre Effexor? No! Her response to the episode was that it was 'an error in judgement'. It was a total lack of judgement. Did she meet someone on her trip that she spent a total of 2 days with who's she's now 'in love' with?(an effect, not cause, in her words)Yes. Does she text this person in front of her children & husband? Yes. Has her 8 year old daughter said that mommy is now the mean one and that she & daddy have changed places? Sadly, yes.

She also claims she has felt this way for a long time, yet has said nothing about it before. She always said she & her husband were soul mates. She has concentrated solely on the negative things that have occurred and magnified them in her mind without considering any of the positives. She is seeking to put the blame for everything on her husband without going for therapy or counseling for herself or marital counseling. She is being weaned off the ADs on the advice of her physician and hopefully once the effects of the drugs are out her system, she will be able to be honest with herself. Her family & friends love her and are all concerned about her abrupt change in attitude & behavior and want her to get the professional help that is available and have expressed that to her. I should mention that as a child Shilo was sexually abused by her alcoholic father and that some of her mental issues could be a symptom of post traumatic stress. She says she has forgiven her now deceased father for what he did to her, but has she instead transferred some of that to her husband? Her older brother also committed suicide 14 years ago. Could these events have played a part on her thinking & feelings now because of the Effexor? Is she seeking to hurt so that she will no longer be the 'victim'? Professional counseling and being off the ADs would be a positive start to her healing process. She needs to take time to let her thyroid stabilize and the toxic effects of the ADs get out of her system. She claims the drugs have not changed her, but those that love her have seen the changes in her thinking and behavior and we are NOT trying to manipulate her, just trying to persuade her to get clean and get counseling before she makes any life changing decisions. She has been on a path of self destruction and is taking her children & husband along with her. She is fortunate to have someone who loves her and has tried to protect her from some of the self destructive behavior. It's up to her to get the counseling for herself. I truly hope she gets it. I'd like to get my sweet, loving, daughter back as a whole with a clear mind unaffected by drugs, alcohol, or ghosts of the past. The past is just that, it's over and can't be changed. It's what you choose to make of the present with professional help that will decide your future. Dwelling on the negative and ignoring the positive will never be beneficial to your happiness. It will destroy it and you. It's a poison in itself.

SSRI - timetraveler

Ooltewah, TN

After 26 beautiful years of marriage, 2 beautiful children, a beautiful home and 100 acres of land to enjoy, my wife is prescribed a SSRI for stress. 3 months later she files divorce and has me kicked out of my business and home. She has no emotion. No caring. No sympathy. It is as if the devil has taken her soul. I find it nearly impossible to defend myself against her in court as she has always been the very person I protected with everything I have. My children are both in their 20's and they are astounded at her change. She has caused untold grief and sorrow in both of our families. She refuses to acknowledge that she is different, She is a registered nurse and thinks she knows everything about medicine. I am at my wits end trying to deal with her. I plan to present the situation during the divorce trial. Don't know if it will matter, but if she were to testify while intoxicated on alcohol or weed or any other mind altering substance, the testimony would be disregarded. Any tips on how the court might see this situation? It is a living hell.

SSRI - nightmare

Fond Du Lac, WI

I definately have lived this nightmare for years.

I had the best husband.

His wife and family came first. My friends were jealous of the husband I had. Sensitive, loving, caring. I knew I was # 1 in his life and always could count on him in any situation.

He was put on psyche drugs for reasons I don't even remember anymore or never knew.

He hated bars and always told his friends not to go there , but home to their wives.

Well he had become the biggest offender.

Bizarre behavior. I blamed it on drinking for years. then I realized even when he wasn't drinking he was a totally different man. Could no longer talk to him. I felt worthless and unloved, uncared for.

About 3 years ago the light clicked on and I realized these drugs made his heart cold, uncaring and zombie-like.

TOTAL different character, heart and man.

I have since done much research. he denies it, and also once tried to stop , but was again talked back on them by a family practicin.

They think he needed them because of depression etc. His behavior only got bizarre after being on them.

I KNOW my husband and there were NO problems until the drugs.

He has been on and still is... Effexor, RITALIN, and clonzapam tp sleep.

Now his mind and body is so screwed up and withdrawls SO badhe will not stop them.

It has effected every area of life. My now grown children etc. My companion and friend and husband

are gone. the joys of life. years gone and wasted.

If you have not already, read and/ or get the book "Your Drug May Be Your Problem".

They create the depression not "cure" it.

God bless you and hope things are better for you.

Yes he denies it too.

hear "bullshit ", or that's not true....:(

It's AWFUL !!!!!! To say the least.

EFFEXOR -  The_Horror

Winnipeg, Canada

Oh my...It's like reading a script. My wife of 6 years started was recently prescribed Effexor. Now she is a different person and is having an affair with someone. Her family says she has changed and not her self anymore. The woman I love was always loving and considered her actions and how they effect others. Now she doesn't really care that much...more like an intellectual concern about the state of things and how they may effect her.

I love my wife. We have a child together! I want us to work through our issues together and see if we can get though our rough spots. But she does not seem to interested and gets rather upset when I try to talk about our relationship. She sneaks out at night, rationalizing a situation, which is obvious to everyone who knows her, that she is having an affair. And she doesn't care how much hurt it puts on other people because she feels she has the right to it and we should mind our own business. She has pretty much given up on us yet wants to continue to live together so we can raise our son. I tried to be mad and confront her with the affair, which she puts off as her business. She gets mad at me when I do confront her for what it really is and puts a lot of distance between us. So I try to be understanding and she is a lot more open with me, but I just can't handle the pain. The woman I love is having an affair and I know these pills are the cause of her actions. I am afraid for her and that she is making a terrible mistake. I think of our child what what kind of different life he could have if we are that immature to deal with our marital issues.

I am realizing the woman I love is not there. She is a different person and I fear for her and our son.

I am so scared right now and I don't know if I should confront her with these issues directly by stating the pills may be the cause or let her figure it out on her own. I love my family, they are the best of me and I would do anything for them.

She has only been on those things( 150m/g)for about 2.5 months. The symptom for which she was prescribed them has vanished. Now she exhibits symptoms like she as serotonin syndrome, and seems to generate activities which certainly up the serotonin levels. I am afraid for her health she says they are side effects that she has adjusted to.

I consider the serotonin syndrome effects and that her actions have all been scripted (thanks for having a forum like this, I thought I was alone and blamed myself). And now I am seriously concerned for her health and well being. I want her to be a healthy person and happy and I am so worried that if she continues the route she is on, she will loose something important that she always says she valued. I am more concerned about her well being,then our marriage right now. I don't' know if our marriage can be saved, but I am beginning to realize that a lot of people experienced similar types of feeling and I don't want her to make that mistake.

I am so scared right now and I don't know what to do, except stand by her side. Its so hard...I need some helpful advice that worked.

EFFEXOR / CYMBALTA / LEXAPRO - Wife of Effexor user

Savannah, GA

I know all to well the effects Effexor and these other depression medications have. My husband of 28 years went on Effexot five years ago for depression. When it didn't work as well, dr. prescribed Lexapro....then Cymbalta. He is now back on Effexor. His personality has changed completely. He used to be a sweet, attentive, christian husband. Now he has no emotions and he feels his actions have no consequences. He will tell you this. He is demeaning to me and everyone around him and he is paranoid!! He shows me no affection at all. He says he "loves" me but he can't feel anything for me or anyone else. I think he may have even had affairs in the beginning, but he won't admit or nor can I prove it. Lately he has been experiencing the sexual side effects as well. His job is also suffering. He has lost lots of work because of his attitude toward the people he works with. His dr. never told him of these side effects. He has been trying to get off the medicine, but is experiencing terrible withdrawl symptoms.....brain jolts, itching, anger, restlessness, insomia!!! In my opinion, this medication should be taken off the market or at least more studies done on the side effects....and drs. need to be more educated to these effects.

I don't know if our marriage will survive!!

EFFEXOR - caution

Lincoln, CA

effeor should be banned ! it has destroyed my wife . several years ago she experienced some anxiety and slight depression. the almighty doc put her on this crap and rest is history literaly! within two weeks shes started changing .she became a zomby . slow , no feeling , emotion , tears ,nothing at all . never smiles and cant take a joke period !sex life history . she doesnt know why or how she feels when asked ! gained massive weight! higher blood pressure . i can write for hours !and the almighty doctor says nothing can be done .may have to take drugs for life . here take some more pills ! nothing but BS . she is a drug addict now . i love her but she doesnt know how or what she feels for me !not to mention the kids !!!!!! its unbelievable !!!!!!!!! do you know what its like to be in love with you spouse and two weeks later for no reason at all your spouse says dont touch me , stay away . i dont feel right ! STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM EFFEXOR !!!!!! or, you will find out ! ok now good news . recently , as in 10 days ago after months of trying to convince my wife that something is wrong with her and with much denial has agreed to taper off all drugs starting with the maine one effexor ! ITS A MIRACLE .OK IT HASNT BEEN EASY . she has decreased her dosage from 300 mg to 225mg . yes had a few anxiety attacts. but she survived ! and yes yes yes . she is becoming emotional again! crying at times for no reason. but thats ok with me . havent seen a tear from her in few years . she actually wants to be held again . first in over 2 years , seriouse! ill keep you posted ! i cant say it enough, stay away from effexor. it has ruined my life and almost marriage ! i hope i can help reverse the damage and save our family .

LUVOX - Allison

Scottsdale, AZ

So glad I found this thread. I am 29 and married to this amazing man who I have been with for ten years (married three). I have been on Fluvoxamine (Luvox) and Wellbutrin on and off for 8 years. I noticed gradually over the years that I stopped feeling much of anything when I used to be a fairly high strung emotional person. I still can get anxious or obsessive occasionally, but for the most part, everything kind of rolls right off of me. I almost feel (and this sounds really strange) like I don't really care what happens to me one way or the other. About four years ago I started not really feeling anything for my partner. I was fond of him but did not feel romantically inclined towards him; something seemed wrong and I just couldn't figure out what it was. Because he was the only relationship I'd ever had, I didn't have the experience to gauge what was going on. After a few weeks, I felt mildly sad but not all that much. However, on an intellectual level, I felt like we were really right together and maybe the problem was was that after six years of being together we just weren't progressing and we needed to take the next step and get married. So we did. And I am a shitty wife. I have never cheated and do not compulsively drink or do drugs or anything like that (the manic behavior sounds specific to the Effexor) but I am completely numb towards him. Someone on here mentioned his wife using the exact same language I have: something's just "missing," something "isn't right," and no, "I don't know why." I sometimes feel like I wouldn't care if I ever saw him again even though he is probably the kindest person I've ever met, very handsome, hardworking, dedicated to me, and shares my very odd silly sense of humor. We are currently separated. I felt like I had been so indecisive for so long and kind of tormenting both of us over whether I wanted to be in the relationship it was time to be a grown up and make a decision one way or the other. Here's the thing: I barely think of him. I know he is devastated and suffering and while on an intellectual level I care, I don't feel anything about it really. I mean, at a very basic level, most people would be more upset over the loss of just a friend. It's not just him. An uncle I was very close to died and then his wife. The most overwhelming emotion I felt was guilt for not feeling more upset. My grandmother, with whom I am very close, almost died a few months ago. I cried a bit but with this weird sense of shallowness; I didn't truly feel grief. Tonight, one of my beloved dogs slipped out of his harness and ran away into a very busy street. I spent 45 minutes looking for him and yet did not feel any sense of panic or despair, despite knowing that is was a very dangerous situation. I feel a constant split between my mind and my emotions. My husband made the point that he felt like my heart wanted out, but my head knew that wasn't a good decision. It's not that my heart specifically wants out; it's that my heart feels nothing towards him except a warm familiarity and I feel like there has got to be more out there, for me and him. I feel like he deserves to be with someone who appreciates his love and I deserve to be with someone who I don't have to convince myself is a smart partner choice. The thing is, I don't want to be with anyone. Since we separated, I moved to another state where I live alone and don't see many people. I do work on my dissertation (which I am also completely apathetic about) but am kind of a loner, although I am in frequent phone contact with many people. Nothing excites me. My dad is coming to visit tomorrow and has offered to take me clothes shopping (something we used to do when I was a kid and I can't afford to do right now) and again, on an intellectual level, I think it's neat, but I feel nothing about it. And let me tell you, it's serious when I can't get excited for shopping :) I have truly sobbed twice in the last two years; I used to cry all of the time. Anyway, I've gone on too long. I just wanted to say thanks because I am going to immediately speak with my doctor and start getting off meds before I make any more decisions regarding my marriage. It may very well be that something is wrong with the relationship and its not the meds; however, I don't want to have the experience that several people on this board have had where they divorced, got off the meds, and then realized how terrible what they had done was. Other people's stories sound too similar too mine to not seriously consider this possibility. It's so nice to know that there may be a reason for the way I am rather than me just being an emotionally deficient person. I just hope that I can get some sense of emotion back before any final decisions have to be made or he leaves me.


Grantsburg, WI

I have had the SAME experiences! My ex was on Effexor....he turned into, frankly, a sociopath...no feelings, no remorse, no guilt. We divorced...a very nasty divorce. I was on Cymbalta for 6 months or so while going through the divorce that wouldn't end...I too became paranoid, very irritable...pretty much irrational to name just a few. I stopped cold turkey....I know, I know not a good thing to attempt. It took 2 weeks and 1 ½ of it where I truly thought I would die before I could even lay down flat or keep water down let alone 100% not able to work let alone walk to the mail box in front of my house. It was the most horrific experience of my life and will NEVER take another such med.

SSRI - Riptide63

Bluffton, SC

Geez...soooo many things that are similiar, in some cases exactly. We had to put our beautiful manx cat down last week and my Wife barely even said goodbye to him and then had no interest in the burial. Even a year ago she would have been in tears and heartbroken. From the posts here and talking to others I am starting to realize that this shit is truly progressive.....the "blunting effect" just seems to slowly slide downhill with a few rises here and there. SHE thinks everything in her world is perfect and that shes reached a happier place, but all the things she used to love have just evaporated. I tried so very hard to get her to listen, but in the end I've failed....I'll always be here for her though. Spread the word please, family, friends, co-workers..anyone whose contemplating this kind of drug needs to read these stories.

EFFEXOR -  ruined marriage

Jonesboro, AR

In summary, effexor has ruined our marriage and caused the following changes in my wife: she cheated with my used to be best friend, has no remorse for any wrong doings, is overly impulsive, mood swings out of this world, sleeps more and is tired always, don't care about much of anything anymore, is thinking everyone is talking about her and against her, no longer is happy about her job or new vehicles bought for her, and just nothing like the woman I once knew, loved, and married>

CELEXA/Citalopram - Russel

My wife started on Celexa around October. The dose was increased in December, and now (February) she wants a divorce. These meds need to be taken off the market. They do more harm than good, especially to relationships.

CELEXA / Citalopram - Chris

Milford, MA

I have been going through the same circumstances with my wife. She was prescribed celaxa for mild OCD and some mood swings. Worst off it was me who had her visit the Dr! When she first started taking it she was off the wall. Literally having break downs. When she inquired with the good doctor, she was told that was normal until it got in her system. After about 2 months she leveled out. But she wasn't the same at all. Long story I left our home about 2 months ago, we both agreed to live apart while we sought some help. And the relationship was still intact. And then like over night about 2 weeks ago she changed. No longer wanted to see the counsler, start using drugs on a regualr basis, start seeing another man, and is treating me awefully. We are talking about a 9 year relationship of two very close people. We were best friends, soul mates. I couldn't fathom how one day we were good, and the next she was down right mean to the man she onced loved.

Then today I was told about this forum, and maybe have some hope. Now she has agreed that something isn't right inside her. I told her to read this information over and let me make an appointment for her with a different doctor. And see if we can get her off the SSRI's. Which tomorrow I will make an appointment.

I guess my questions are:

1. How long will it take to ween her off the celexa? Basically when do I get my wife back!

2. I hear a lot of horror stories here that mostly spell out our situation to a T. But are there any success stories after one stops the SSRI's?

3. Alot of folks here say that it is difficult to find a doctor to agree with what we are all experiencing....any advice in finding one that does know what these things are doing to us?

4. Any other advice is openly welcomed.

Good luck to everyone going through this hell!

SSRI - susie

I was so horribly brokenhearted and confused until I read all these blog comments – now I feel I know exactly what was going on with my boyfriend, who has been on SSRIs for years. We met each other at a point in our lives where both of us wanted to settle down, we wanted the same things, and both of us had all the things the other was looking for, from pyhsical attraction to similar values. There were never two people more happy to find someone and ready to love as we were. It happened for me, I loved him pretty soon after we startd dating. But after a year of happy times and getting on well enough, he just says he never felt anything like love, though he cares for me deeply. It never “happened” for him.

He actually knows that SSRIs can affect how you process love chemicals, and thinks that may have been the reason he couldn’t have deep feelings for me, when he thinks everything about me was what he wanted in his life. That’s what’s so frustrating and heartbreaking to me. He threw our relationship away, even knowing this, and thinks that the next time he will feel that connection. But that’s the thing – he has not been feeling that connection for many, many years, with many other women, and now I think the SSRIs are probably the reason. It kills me that he can conceptualize that these drugs are actually holding him back from finding love, the thing he most desperately wants to find in his life, but not take steps to lessen their hold.

SSRI - Missing my Love

Maywood, IL

Where do I start? I guess I'm not looking for any answers - but I welcome any help. The love of my life and the angel of my dreams told me that she wanted a divorce. We have been married only 2 years but been together 7. Shortly after our marrige, she said she was having anxiety and prescribed with an SSRI and xanax. After the first did'nt work, she switched meds. 6 months into the new one, she, as many other people have said, she claims she doesnt love me anymore. I'm devestated, crushed, bewildered, in shock, you name it. She says she loves me, but like her sister or a good friend. I'm lost without her.

She says she needs space. I am a fireman who has a business. I am gone for 24 hrs., come home to shower and work for another 10 hours. But she needs space? She says she's not attracted to me or anyone else, she just wants to be alone. On some occasions, she tells me that it's all behind us now, or we'll be ok. Other times she says 'how long are we going to live like this?' I tell her all the time, I will wait for her and I miss her. She gets upset at that because when I tell her these things, I am 'smothering' her.

I suppose what hurts the worst is how I just long so bad for a smile from her, a loving caress, a tender kiss or simply to hear the words I Love You from her again. My heart is broke. She is my whole world. I showed her some of the posts on this site and on others, but as you guessed, she is indifferent to them. She says the same thing you've heard before, I just don't feel the same about you, there's no connection between us.

On a couple of occasions, she left and went by her mothers house with the intent to stay the night. This happens after she has had too much wine. She comes back after a 1/2 hour because her mother knows about the meds and attempts to talk to her about it. She gets frustrated with her and knows I will not say any more because she's home. Then says 'I dont know whats wrong with me'. I called her doctor on the sly and told him what she has been saying. He called her up under a ruse and told her to come in. We are going together to talk to him and tell him whats going on. She has told me she refuses to change the meds again because of the withdrawl symptoms and our life together is a sacrifice she is willing to make.(previously stating she would change 1 more time)

She says she 'wants to want to be with me' but just doesnt right now.

I miss her so very much. I have a great big hole through the middle of me without her. The pain is incredible, but, I will wait for her. There is so much more to my story but I just don't want to think about this for 10 minutes. God Bless you all, I know the hurt you all have.

CELEXA - Chris

Framingham, MA

it seems to be the nature of the beast. I'm in the same boat, with my wife. All of a sudden after 10 years a an unbelievable relationship, and after 8 months on Celexa....she doesn't know what she wants. Still loves me just needs to sort somethings out. Look as some of my previous posts and you can see what a roller coaster it has been. I with you pal! It isn't easy to deal with, but do your best.

SSRI - Owen

Newark, CA

*She's coming back*

I first posted on May 4, 2009.

After she left and moved across the country, she wouldn't even speak to me, and was totally cold.

Then, on my birthday, she emailed me.

The Zoloft was losing it's hold on her, and she was "waking up."

I convinced her to stop taking it, and all of a sudden, she remembers who I am to her.

Now she's coming back, and I'm terrified she'll have to get on another drug for her depression and fall out of love with me AGAIN.

She says she didn't mean it when she said she didn't love me, she said she wants to be with me forever, but she's said these things before.

So here I find myself, scared as hell, about to get on a plane to help her move all her stuff back here. I'm terrified of getting my heart broken again, but I love her still, despite everything she put me through. My logic is screaming "NO" but my heart says go get her.

Be careful what you wish for, but I wanted to let you all know there is hope. I had to just wait until the drugs lost their hold on her.

My family and friends are scared for me, I'm scared for me, as well as her.

I'll keep you posted.


EFFEXOR - Thrown in the towel

Clayton, NC

Well, separation and divorce papers on the horizon. I posted a while back here with my story of my wife who got on Effexor....no love, no sex, went from rarely drinking to drinking vodka straight/ then an angry drunk, before i knew she was on meds i got suspicious and put a keylogger on our home computer, found her flirting and emailing about going out for drinks with some douchebag guy. It all escalated for 2 years and she moved out in April. She is a different person, the person i miss no longer exists. She gets mad and says I'm trying to make her feel guilty if i bring up my feelings for her or our relationship. I'm done. I don't want to be involved with one of these alcoholic, pill-head zombies anymore and from what I've read, most remain that way after getting off of the drugs. Her idiot doctor put her on this shit because she was feeling a little "down". The Dr. needs a bullet. About a year ago i showed her this site and begged her to read it. She then posted about how it's not the meds but my fault. haha. Read it, her name is Haven. Started hanging out with losers she had written off years ago. Good luck with your new life of drinking yourself into oblivion at every opportunity honey.... I'm angry now and i hope one day you realize it was the meds.....and MISS THE HELL OUT OF ME! To those of you dealing with this, i tried, tried, tried, didn't want to lose my wife, cried to her on the phone, etc. it doesn't matter. Get out now, move on,it won't get better.

I will NEVER be involved with anyone who takes this shit.


Temperance, MI

I found this site by the same way many others have; searching to see if anti-depressants can cause a spouse to cheat. My husband of 36 years started taking the maximum dose for depression and anxiety due to work and within months had an affair with a female employee. He worked for this company for 33 years with no past problems. He did this knowing it was immediate termination if discovered. It was discovered 18 months before his retirement and he (and me) lost income and 10 years of pensions and health care and our home. This job was his life and for him to do this is way out of character. This happened two years ago and I have been trying to forgive. I found out yesterday that in the same time frame and running into the time we were working to fix our marriage he actually fell in love with yet another woman. This is not him. He has since stopped all medication and says he has no idea or even memories of most of that time. Even though it hurts sooooo much I do believe the drug has caused this. Other actions he did while on the drug were totally without inhibitions, again not his character.


St. John's, Canada

I'am come back kid's wife and I need to tell my story and I too will tell it in parts due to the limits. Fourteen years ago I met the man of my dreams. I had just gotten out of a very bad marriage with a man who treated me with no respect tp say the least. I had three small children and lots of worries.

This man came into my life and excepted me and my children as one, and we became a family. He was everything to me. He was not only a awesome husband, he was also a awesome father. We were married 5 yesrs later. We had a relationship that most dream of. We were totally suportive of each other and most importantly we were best friends. He was the most caring,loving,sensitive person I had ever met in my life. He treated me ass though I was a princess. I was so proud to be his wife. I loved him with every ounce of me.

Last year after finishing some extreme training he began to feel anxiety and depression. He went to his GP who without question and warning started him on effexor. Within a short time he began to feel better but in his next vist to his GP his meds were increased again even though he told him that he was feeling much better.

Within three months of starting the larger dose of effexox the life that I knew was no more. My loving,caring,kind husband had turned into a lying,inconciderate,cold person who I didn't know any longer. My heart was totally broken. I couldn't believe what was happening. How could my husband,best friend and soulmate hurt me like this with no remorse. He totally checked out on me and our family.

Things go from bad to worse. Within four months of starting effexor he starting having an affair. Three weeks into the affair I found out. I will never forget the sickening feeling as long as I live. I was totally devestated. I remember staying awake that night crying uncontrollably while he slept like a baby. My thoughts as I looked at him was,{who is this person lying next to me, I didn't know}. My husband who was so full of life was know so cold and emotionless with a empty look in his eyes. This look even began to scare me. This was killing me. How could I be afraid of my once loving husband who I adored.

In the days to follow I saw what I was looking for. I had some family photos developed and what I saw shocked me. I couldn't hardly recognize my husband. I loooked at photos before effexor and after effexor. I kid you not when I tell you his look had changed. My suspicions were right. I showed my husband the pictures and told him what i thought and thank God he was able to see what I was seeing. I told him that I felt that this was the drug this. He asked we to stay and help him. I felt I had too. I knew my loving husband was in there and I wanted him back. He began reducing the drug..

I know most would of left by now. My head was telling to go,but my heart was saying staying stay and help him because it's not his fault. Within a short time after reducing the meds I started seeing life come back in his eyes. The next thing I knew I was given the worse possible news. The girl that he was having an affair with announced she was pregant with my husbands baby. Words can never describe the heart renching hurt I felt. We wanted a child together but I had a emergency surgey weeks after we were married.

I told my husband that I could no longer do this now. I just wan't to disappear. I remember stopped at a intersection watching a transport truck

coming toward me thinking all I have to do is drive out in front of this truck and all this pain would go away. I sat there and cried uncontollably. I thought of my children and went home. I don't think I ever wanted to die I just wanted the pain to go away. My husband who was coming back to me begged me with everything he had to stay. Telling me, we could do this. This girl later terminated the pregnantcy. We are not totally sure if my husband was the father or not. I guess it doesn't matter.

We are still together and my husband is effexor free. I'am very proud of him. I know he went through alot of terible side effects coming of the drug. He than had to deal with all the hurt he caused me, and I know he still feels the hurt as I do, but everyday is better than yesterday. We have picked up the pieces of our nearly shattered marriage.

My loving, kind sensitve husband is back. I missed him so much. We will make it, I know that. I hope my story helps someone in some way. I have only scratched the surface of what I endured but that doesn't matter the result is the same.

I would love to see this poison banned. I also feel these GP's who are willing prescribing this drug without warning need to be held accountable. The GP who gave my husband the drug almost destroyed us.

I want to leave on a happy note. I hope that if anyone is in the same situation as me can find the strength to fight for the one you love. You need to remember, it's the drug, it's nothis or her fault.{It's the drug}.


Mattoon, IL

These stories are so awful to read. I just wish this drug wasn't ever even made available so none of you would have to go through these things with the people you love and care about. It's really unfortunate that the medical community still prescribes effexor even with all of these stories of how it ruins lives.

I've been trying to help my girlfriend though getting off the drug. It's been hell, and I'm starting to not know if it's the drug or just her. It's like nothing matters like it used to anymore, and I wish she was happy and actually displayed emotions like she used to. We've been dating for over a year and her coming off the drug is just sucking the life out of our relationship.

I feel bad even posting on here, because my problems are fairly minescule compared to those of you who are going through divorces and separations. But there isn't really anyone I can talk to about these issues, and whenever I get really down about them, I come on here and try to understand that others are being hurt by the drug too. Hang in there everybody, I hope things get better for all of you. You don't deserve to have to go through pain because of drug companies hunger for profits.

EFFEXOR - Pan troglodytes

Waterloo, Canada

Well my story is like a carbon copy of so many on this board. I truly feel sad for all of you going through this ordeal. This has devastated me. Here's my story. In July of this year, my wife dropped me off at work. A couple of hours later, she left me a voice mail saying she didn't want to be married to me. Her reasons were all over the map and it was all my fault. That day she got half of her stuff from the house. I returned home from work that day to find all of her belongings gone. She had gone to her parents. Over the next few days I tried to communicate with her but she was filled with anger. My wife has battled depression for 5 years. We have been togethger 10 years and married for 6. She was a wonderful woman but the drug Effexor made her emotionless. She was put on 225mg of Effexor from 150mg in early July due to crying bouts. 3 weeks later she left me. She has had no emotion whatsoever throughout the past 4 months. She believes the drug has nothing to do with her decision to leave. She blames me for all tha marital problems. We had a good marriage but we had our fights and issues but always got through them. I believe this drug changed her. 4 months later, today she sent me an unexpected email saying she regretted hurting me so much. She says she is now down to 75mg now but I don't know if I should believe her. Makes sense if she is showing emotions coming off this drug. She has started the legal process and wants a divorce. I told her I won't do any of it as it's not what I want.


Oklahoma City, OK

Well a few things happened since I shared my story. A rock road to enlightenment for sure. On important rocking for me was that this didn’t happen as fast as I had originally thought. Even though it is true that 130 hours separated the time my wife made the comment “your are the greatest man I have ever met, and the greatest husband a woman could ask for” and being involved in 1 crazy night that ended with her screaming I hate you and being carted off for domestic violence. But the talk of separation and then extreme reconciliations had been going on for 2 years. My perception of reality had been wrong. That rocked me at first. So it wasn’t the Prozac. Am I the crazy one? So I started digging through old documents and email exchanges. I found that our first fight started only months after my wife had been put on Zoloft. I had completely forgotten about the Zoloft. All the same I had forgotten about all the mentions of desiring suicide, and all the times I came home to find my wife distraught and saying,“take over the baby, I just want to shake her.” I do a lot of writing to myself as well as to her. The timeline matched up perfectly. I did much sole searching to make sure I was of clear mind.

The divorce is proceeding. My first lawyer sucked. She just wanted a paper divorce. From day 1 I said I wanted a psych eval and the divorced dismissed as her complaint was inaccurate.(“on grounds) I finally fired her, and did these things on my own for a month. I had to get a lawyer to submit things appropriately before I got good evidence thrown out. I found one of like mind that believed me and didn’t say,“why do you want to be with somebody who doesn’t want to be with you?”. It looks like I will get both eval and divorced dismissed for now. It is the court system. Anything goes.

My wife has become just weird. Many of her extreme events seems to be accompanied with alcohol consumption. Other then that she is just irrational. She acts as if she doesn’t remotely realize how devastating this divorce is to me, my daughter, and our families. She also doesn’t act like she realizes that there are ramifications equated with the divorce. She moved out and thinks that she should be able to just take stuff and I will be fine with it. She just shows no signs of rational thought. She also has lost her sense of sarcasm. I am a very sarcastic chap, and much of our humor has always been so centered. To be honest, I don’t know where she stands. I don’t know if she is still on the drug. Sometimes it feels like she is reaching out. Sometimes it seems like she is just scheming. There is just no rational explanation for some of her thoughts and actions. I am preparing for a life where me and my daughter spend a lot of time just learning from each other. I miss my wife, but these things seem out of my influence now. I am tired of the fight and feel I have done all that I can.

To riptide, I thank you for allowing me to share in your story. It gives me comfort in knowing I am not alone in this. To anybody else who would like a place to vent, pick my brain, or just share off the blog, my email is mithril03@yahoo.com. Drop a line there, and if you want I will give you my number.


Oklahoma City, OK

I have much to say. I don’t want to be a “blog hog. So I will post then wait a couple of days. I may create a blog page on my own site where I am not limited in the amount of text. I think I can help some of you, especially “uncertain”. But first I would like to address Interesting Concept.

Interesting concept,

You sound very much like my wife at this point. I am a system designer and the self proclaimed “lord of logic”. Let us apply some rational to your statement by looking at both sides.

First the criteria of that which bonds us on this web site.

-        We all had long term relationships that were happy and healthy.

-        Prior to taking the SSRI’s the relationships were monogamous and mutually respectful.

-        Most of us had relationships that were envied by all other that we knew. Receiving comments about how lucky we were to have each other.

-        The break up was a shock to even the closest friends and family members. Nobody can produce a single expression of unhappiness prior to taking the SSRI’s

-        The relationship Prior to the SSRI was void of any physical or emotional abuse. The cops had never been called to break up a fight. Nobody had even witnessed, nor had there been any major conflicts.

-        After taking SSRI’s the person became self centered and conducted themselves in ways that were out of character.

- Spending sprees, flirtiness, risky sexual behavior, extreme “chattiness” either in person or on social networking tools, irrational assertions, excessive drinking relative to what they had done previously are common traits.

- Loss of ability to “feel” guilt, sorrow, love, or sense of how their actions had consequences.

Being able to portray a person so different then the one they became would end the best actors Oscars for the ability to do it for just a few hours, let alone 5, 10, 20, 30 years. If one was in a “Jerry Springer” type relationship then, that is not common. Speaking for myself and probably everybody else here as well, everybody loved being around us.“you two are one of the few” was common. She was not only my wife, but my best friend. There were no thoughts that were off limits. Our families both weep at her decision. Anything outside of this criteria, and you are missing the point.

EFFEXOR - MissingMySoul

Hello!! I am new here in posting but have been following this thread since the end of May. I have read almost every single page on here and found this, like so many others, after my husband left all of a sudden. He left me at the end of April after being together for 9 1/2 years and married for 6. We actually celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary on April 18th and he called me on April 28th to tell me he couldn't do it anymore.

My husband has been on Effexor since late June 2012 and before that he tried 2 or 3 other anti-depressants that he started in November 2011. He was originally put on them for anxiety attacks. He would get pain in his chest and head, start shaking and get cold and get dizzy. Eventually he would pass out they would get so bad. He went off of work in September 2010 to determine how to fix it and in the process they found a hole in his heart. He had heart surgery in September 2011. During the year from being off of work and having surgery he was a bit down but nothing out of character or out of the ordinary.

When he was still getting these attacks in November after the surgery, they started him on AD's. He also took Ativan at the time and had for a year. That same month he started acting different. I noticed his anger got much worse. The way we argued changed and he got very mean and very personal and would really say things to hurt me. He also decided that he should be able to drink and stay out as late as he wanted and became concerned about what suited him and what he wanted to do. Now from Nov 2011 until January 2013 this was once a month, sometimes a couple of times a month. In between these instances he would either have good days or bad days. On his good days he treated me so nicely. Just like before. He was affectionate and we did things together and he would do things on his own to show he loved me. I think that makes a big difference, it wasn't me asking do you love me, do this for me. But for him to show up at my work to go for lunch with me, or I come home and there is a card and flowers, it was the old him doing things because he wanted to. Still things were strained and we couldn't figure out why. He didn't work much, in fact he has worked 6 months out of the past 3 years, but he was still getting a lot of heart palpitations and other things, which I now see are the side effects of the Effexor.

So from Nov 2011 to Jan 2013 we had our ups and downs and after a certain night he would apologize but it didn't stop. I also noticed if he was drunk, which I need to point out his alcohol tolerance sky rocketed, he can down 30 crown & diet in a night, if things didn't go his way he got mad. That was different for him too. He has always been more laid back, didn't stress out easily. Since Nov 2011 he got bugged by so many small things, he was concerned only about what he wanted and what worked for him when drinking and if people didn't do what he wanted he got pissed right off.

We lived in Alberta, originally from BC, and in January 2013 he went to BC to visit friends and family. I got a call from him one morning 2 nights after he arrived. He told me he had gone to the bar with two of his oldest friends and when the friends said they had to leave (at about 12:30am), because they had been together all day and had to get back to his families, that pissed him off. He felt like they were deserting him and instead of going home with them he told them he was staying. He told me he drank and bought drinks for people and did coke. He walked along the highway at 3am until he found a hotel. He called me in the morning and told me as awful as it was, the coke gave him some clarity. As he was walking he realized how selfish and awful he had become. He saw how much he had put me through and how he had become a person he did not want to be. He begged me to come to BC to be with him and that he needed me.

I agreed to come down and when I saw him I could barely look at him. Over the next few days he apologized so much and told me he was going to change and show me he could be the man I knew and that he was and that he understood now all the things he had been doing. We decided I would quit my job and we would move back to BC to have more family and friend support and he would commute for work. I set my last day as March 7th and we would move to BC on March 14th.

From the day he drank and did the coke until the day we left for BC, he did not have a drink. He did not touch alcohol and was generally in a good mood. He would come up to me and put his arms around me and tell me he would prove to me that he was changing. We got along great and he didn't have a lot of bad days. I don't know if the lack of alcohol helped that or not.

Things moved along just fine and on my last day of work he asked his boss if he could come to my section and have lunch with me. He would send me text messages about how much he loved me and how he was waiting for me when I got off of my work bus, with our dog. He would great me off of the bus and walk home with me.... these are all things he always did for me as well.

We moved down to BC and had a great time, we got to do a bunch of things we hadn't done before and were in good moods. Beginning of April he started getting more chest palpitations and they were painful. He seemed okay and nothing really came of it.

April 18th we had our anniversary. He went to the restaurant before it opened to make sure flowers and a card were waiting at the table for me. He went out and picked out a necklace for me, and when he gave it to me told me he wanted something pretty that had a bigger pendant because everything I had that was nicer was small. We had a nice evening and even for the next few days, we went to hockey games and down to the water, car shows.

He had to go back to Alberta on April 25 I believe and when he did he would text me good morning and then call me. He would text me in the middle of the day that he missed me and wished he could come down sooner. I had even given him a little mug on our anniversary that had a husband and wife on it with a little quote. He took it back to Alberta and even texted me a picture of him drinking out of it one morning.

We talked on April 26, 27, 28 in the day.... and in the middle of what was a normal conversation on the night of the 28th he told me he needed to leave. We talked for a long time on the phone. He was supposed to fly back down the next day for his normal days off with me and said he didn't think he would. I told him I was not some little girlfriend of 6 months that you dump on the phone and to get down here.

He said he would decide in the morning. He did come down and after popping 3 Ativan, told me that his feelings had changed and he doesn't feel the same. He told me he had told his sisters this (not me for some reason), but when he told them this he also said he doesn't feel any emotion anymore and doesn't feel anything for them or his parents. If I had known this it would have given me a huge red flag. They never let me know this information.

So that is how it went. He was still capable of showing emotion up to that point but on a bad day he was colder and a zombie for sure. He did have good days though and could show it. Once he decided to leave and not fight the good and bad anymore it just escalated. He left, he started doing more coke and drinking a lot. He would go out and spend $400 at the bar. Started driving drink and staying over night at a coke buddy's house. Within two weeks of leaving I noticed emails and phone calls to escorts and people on craigslist. He started getting less emotional and was drinking several nights a week. He is, obviously, off of work again and doesn't have a job to go to so would go out in the middle of the week and just meet people at the bar.


Forest Hills, NY

I am going through the exact same thing and everyday seems like an absolute nightmare/hell that I can't wake up from/escape. Fortunately, after confronting my wife (7 years) and our respective families with all of these similar stories (together with my sitting with two different medical professionals -- pscyhiatrists that confirmed that this bizarre behavior was directly caused by my wife's use of Effexor -- her abrutly attempting to terminate our marriage came a mere three weeks after being upped to 225 mg), my wife has decided to take herself off of the meds over the course of the next month -- she has already left our house, but I'm hoping that some of her feelings start to return as quickly as possible.

PAXIL - Sad and Married

Eugene, OR

My husband is a different man.

He has been off of Paxil for about 2 months and is an unemotional mess. I thought he had been taking if for about 2 years but just yesterday he told me he has been on it for over 8, we have been together for 10.

Anyways, it is looking like we may be headed for seperation/divorce, he already sent me away for 6 months.

Can we overcome Paxil withdrawls?


White Plains, NY

My wife has been tapering since December 31st -- she started taking Effexor on August 21st and had her prescription last upped to 225 mg on November 24th. She told me she had no feelings for me on December 15th and then after we battled and fought and rationalized (tried) for nearly two weeks to figure out what was going on, she has now been out of the house for the past three weeks and we now only speak sporadically. At first, even that was difficult but I have resigned myself to letting her come to me when she is ready to talk and not letting me push any issue. Me and her family drove her crazy through late December and that led her to agree to stop the drugs (and to stop drinking) on December 31st (just to spite us and show she was acting perfectly normal -- even though she walked out on our seven year marriage after we were planning for a child and a new home as late as October and just shared a wonderful Thanksgiving).

We finally had a breakthrough this past Monday night -- I had scheduled another appointment with another doctor (like the fourth one I have seen to get a sense of what is going on here)-- I had asked her over the weekend if she wanted to go with me but she said no because "nothing had changed." Anyway, she drove me to the appointment and was nasty the entire time (to the point of rage). However, when I got out of the appointment and she came to pick me up in the car (which she took from me -- hence that is why she is driving me - we have only one car) she apologized profusely for her behavior, said it was probably because she is coming off the meds and hasn't been sleeping well and is now always agitated and then she started asking a ton of questions about what this new doctor said. She finally admitted that she was "confused" and "unsure" about what has transpired, but she still was adamant that her feelings hadn't changed and she was not sure they ever would. She asked for the doctor's information and wants more opinions. I'm hoping she goes with me to the next appt next week. We have only spoken sporadically by text message since Monday night (like we're friends or something), but it's the first sign of light I have seen in weeks of this hell. Of course, I still ponder whether or not I will ever get my loving wife back and that is killing me, but I finally feel like all hope is not lost.

Also -- the tremendous push/pull between letting her slip further away versus trying to bring her back kills me more and more everyday.

For example, when she came back to the house on Monday night to pick me up for the drs appt, she came to me to hug me and I had pulled her close to her, breathed on her neck and touch her hair gently. Her knees buckled and she quivered in her arms. I backed off of her -- even if there was an opportunity, I was not going to take it -- but the feeling was there -- it's like its buried and there is a block in her head trying to fight it as hard as possible.

Now, her birthday is coming up on Feb. 4th and I feel this overriding sense of "what to do." It will still be too soon to really know what her real feelings are because she will be just ending the tapering process (her doctor put her on a one month draw down process), but I know it still takes time to see if any changes in feelings, perceptions materialize. Half of me is wondering at what point she is going to want me to make a move (if anything) to show her how much I want and love her (versus giving her the space she needs right now, which I have finally resigned myself to doing). I can imagine that someone that comes off of these meds might regain their old feelings (or at least some sense of them) but then not want to admit it or at least want their spouse to show them they want them back and make the first move. Everything is so dicey.


Temple, TX

It is difficult to watch the shell of a man who used to be my husband. He is gone. Physically and emotionally. When he visits, he seems uncomfortable in his own home with his own family. My 15 year old says it is now awkward to be around his dad. He is not the same. And I now feel awkward as well. It’s like having a stranger in my house. My 7 year old daughter is too caught up in her own pain and confusion to notice that her daddy who goes through the motions is a walking talking zombie. She does not see through her tears when he leaves that his face is blank. I hugged my daughter tonight and cried and thanked God I could feel the pain, as much as it hurt. Because when my child is heartbroken, my heart is supposed to break too. And it does. I hugged her and told her “I love you I love you I love you. I love you so much.” And I could feel the love I have for her right down to my very core bursting out of my heart. And my heart broke in more pieces, thinking how her daddy had lost that ability and may never have it again. Makes me sorry for him, and devastated for my child who has lost the deep and emotional bond they once had. Getting anyone to believe this is caused by a prescribed drug is like telling them my husband was abducted by aliens and came back a different person, which is actually what it feels like.

EFFEXOR - George

Winnipeg, Canada


I'm sorry to all those that went through all the things mentionned. I too have had a miserable experience with effexor. To make a long story short, I had a perfect girlfriend. She was the most honest, pure woman I've ever met. Once she was on effexor, everything changed. She started lying, cheating for a very long time and was so good at lying that I didn't have a clue she was cheating until 7 months after she started doing it. She started to taper off the effexor and the truth started to come out slowly. She kept telling me that she didn't know why she was doing the things she was doing and that it just felt like she didn't care about anything during that time. She also mentionned that she just wanted to do things that were bad..If she could be put in a risky and dangerous situation, she's go for it. Anyways, she has been completly off effexor for 2 years and we are now married. I feel guilty complaining since I've heard so many people say how they've lost the people they love but I can't seem to get over the fact that she cheated on me. Everything NOW is perfect and back to normal but I have a very hard time accepting that she's been with someone else. Have other people dealt with this? Am I just weak? I know I should just be grateful to be with her but it really bothers me. I have absolutly no complaints about who she is now and we get along just fine but I'm worried that she enjoyed her time with the other man and I'm constantly thinking about the other man because I want to punch his face in. He knew that we have been together for years and years and he knew that we lived together. What a dirtbag!! I just want to beat the living crap out of him but I can't because I'll lose my job if I have a criminal record. What's wrong with people in this world? First, the drug companies screw me over then there's a poor excuse of a man that takes advantage of my wife for several months knowing that she's with me...

EFFEXOR - Fingers

Ottawa, Canada

Hello everyone, really amazing to find this thread.

I've been with my gf for 9 years (we're 26). About two-three years ago, she developed incredible anxiety (I did not understand to which extent until recently -- but it was serious). A year ago she was put on Effexor 75mg. Almost immediately (about a month in), we started having significant issues with energy levels, libido, emotional distance problems. She did not want me near her, she wanted space, we would occupy different floors of the house, and when I'd try to come see her, she'd claim I was smothering her. It turned into us only seeing each other on the commute to/from work and eating dinner. When we approached the subject, it sort-of blew up into her saying "we have no intimacy in our relationship, there's something seriously wrong and it's irreperable" and me saying "admittedly there is something wrong, but its likely med-related, not us-related. I want to work this out if you do". So we tried to work it out, some things were improving, others weren't.

In November, I asked her to get off the Effexor as urgently as possible. She was procrastinating, not wanting to (understandably, since it helped her a lot), but I kept asking. She finally promised me she would, and dropped her dose down to 37.5mg two weeks ago.

Last week, I confronted her about constantly going out with male coworkers one-on-one to restaurants (these are people I've never met, and she has admitted that she finds herself attracted to them). I told her that I did not feel comfortable with this, and I had trust issues from our experience a year ago. I asked her to back off meeting guys one-on-one. It again erupted into a trust/intimacy conversation, all the cards were laid out on the table, and again the conversation turned to her saying "this isn't working, there's no intimacy between us, and I dont feel attracted to you" and me saying "we had intimacy issues before, but nothing we couldn't work out. your pills are making you emotionless, cold, and withdrawn. the pills may not be responsible for our intimacy issues, but they are 100% responsible for exacerbating a manageable problem"

I asked her if she wants to work on it, because I will only do so if she's putting 100% effort in. She said "yes I do want to work on it, I just think it's not going to go anywhere". This sort of attitude does resonate well with me, and I'm feeling that this is the end of the road. I asked her if she's willing to go to counselling, she said yes, but she's not making any forward progress herself, while I'm desperately trying to make her feel loved and appreciated.

So this is where I sit. Since last Friday's conversation, she has withdrawn COMPLETELY. She wants as much distance from me as possible, and nothing I can say or do makes it better.

We went skating, and she was having a hard time getting going, so I reached out to hold her hand. She looks at me and says "just so you know, this does not imply anything romantic". She would have NEVER said something so hurtful to me before.

I remain absolutely devoted to her, but she has convinced herself that she's been pretending to be happy the entire time, and refuses to see that Effexor has made her a complete robot. I'm wondering if I should bother fighting? She says she no longer feels attracted to me romantically, and i'm more of a "best friend".

She refuses to see that it's the meds. She believes that the meds are only helping her think clearly and rationalize what's been happening for the last few years. Certainly I don't think that's the case, but if she is so firm on believing this, then how can I expect to make her see otherwise? I can say "no it's not" all I want (because that is truly my conviction), but there's no real way for me to prove it.

I think if I show her this thread, she'll write it off as me trying to pawn our issues on the meds. We didn't have a perfect relationship, but the gravity of it seems extremely exagerrated. It was certainly something we could have fixed (and in retrospect, should have seeked counselling for earlier).


Winnipeg, Canada

Roller Coaster, I've been through what you've been through and I know it's hard. My wife is now off effexor and we actually made it work. Believe me when I tell you that your husband is not the person making these bad decisions and hurting you and your kids. He has absolutely nothing to do with it. It's just the effexor. "He" is not the person that is making the choice to keep taking the pills. He doesn't think logically because people that are on effexor only care about themselves. This is not your husband. These are people who cheat without any remorse. He doesn't care about what other people want and need. I know it sucks but you can't get mad at him (the real him) for what's going on...you know that it's not really him. My wife got off these drugs and got back with me ONLY because she wanted to. The months and months of me going through hell and begging her to stop acting like a maniac did absolutely nothing. Again, I've been were you've been and I know it takes everything out of you to see your loved one change into a heartless, emotionless person but you'll see that, once you husband gets off this poison, he'll be himself again and he'll apologize for all of this and he will feel terrible. I was like you in the way that I told myself I was done taking all the abuse and done putting up with it and that it's her loss but what kept me in the relationship (if you can even call it that during that time) is that I knew deep down that that person was not my wife. I guess I always hoped that she would snap out of it at some point. She snapped out of it as soon as she got off effexor. I've so happy now that I waited and put up with all that crap. She is her old self back and I love her more than ever. Hang in there and don't forget that that person is NOT the man you married and had children with. I had a very hard time distinguishing the two for a long time. Take care,


Dr Ann Blake Tracy

Bountiful, UT

Roy, I have been discussing this side effect of SSRIs for 20 years!! I always refer to them as the "Divorce Pills." I sent a copy of my book to Dr. Laura at the prompting of a police officer who lost an absolutely perfect marriage to Prozac in the early 90's. He told his story and we both encouraged her to begin warning about these drugs. Apparently she FINALLY has caught onto that concept as of the last few years. In the meantime thousands upon thousands of families have been dissolved with too many woman and men on these drugs getting custody of children they should not have due to their impaired condition.

Whenever I do a show or lecture on the murders and suicides, etc. caused by these drugs I try to stress that the death of so many relationships will destroy this country. We are almost there now. It is a national tragedy affecting FAR TOO MANY!!!!

Dr. Ann Blake Tracy, Executive Director,

International Coalition for Drug Awareness

www.drugawareness.org & www.ssristories.com

"Punched in the gut" Once your wife starts on antidepressants EVERYTHING that has ever gone wrong in her life is YOUR fault! Don't forget that now!:-) You will be blamed for absolutely everything.

As for the switching of meds, all it will get you is more of the same but intensified because she will be even more toxic because of both meds being in her system - they have an extremely long washout period according to research done in the VA center in Little Rock, Akansas. Most docs DO NOT know how to switch anyone from one antidepressant to another safely (they always make the change too quickly) and if she is reacting to one she will react to the other. According to the FDA ANY abrupt change in dose of an antidepressant can cause suicide, hostility or psychosis. So instead of just divorcing you she will save the time and energy by blowing you away while you sleep (like comedian Phil Hartman's wife did on Zoloft even though they had no marital problems) and then take her own life. In other words changing meds is not the answer. Withdrawing slowly is the only answer I have seen in 20 years of working with these cases.

Dr. Ann Blake Tracy, Executive Director,

International Coalition for Drug Awareness

www.drugawareness.org & www.ssristories.com


My husband was suffering from a very bad bout of depression, lasted from Nov 08 to Aug 09, third lot of antidepressants worked, cymbalta 60mgs OD. Beginning of Oct 09 told me that he was leaving….we told our son…worst thing I ever had to do in my life…did’nt knock a bat off the ex though. He still tells me that he loves me but not ”in love” with me. I dont know who this new person is. The only emotion I ever see him displaying is anger. I firmly believe that Cymbalta has cost me my marriage……..

CYMBALTA - Carlis S.

My girlfriend and I have now been together for 7 years. We met in college and have been best friends since. Everything was perfect until about a year ago when she started having panic attacks. We went to a doctor and she was put on a SSRI called cybalta that seemed to help. then suddenly after 4 months she seemed like she was miles away in her head and didn’t like to talk to me as much. i thought it was just work stress(she works for a lawyer so stressy!)and that we are getting married in spring.

she seemed restless and started hanging out with work-friends and spending less time with me. i was hurt but i wanted her to blow off steam and be happy so i didn’t say anything. big mistake. we’re now calling off the wedding because she suddenly doesn’t love me and says she cant feel her emotions now. i think she might also be seeing other people now to try to feel.

its just not like her at all! she is a totally different person and i still love her but i can’t live like this. could cybalta do this to someone after 4-5 months? I miss my girlfriend like crazy but i want to be happy too and ingoring me and her sneaking around won’t make me happy. is it a lost cause? would other SSRIS make her feel again?


Fort Collins, CO

I first came across this discussion in late 2007 when my previously loving marriage came to an abrupt end. I was very emotional through all of it so I haven't posted the story until now, as I wanted to have a clear open mind about everything. I now feel like I have a very clear mind and can honestly look back on what happened and say with absolute certainty that my marriage was completely destroyed by Cymbalta and Zoloft. If you take the time to read my story I believe that it is hard to argue against. I recognize that my marriage was not perfect before the medication was started, but I honestly believe that my marriage was better than most and that my ex-wife and I were still very much in love with each other.

I'll try to not ramble too much, but here is my basic story:

My ex-wife and I were married in 2000, and had two children over the next five years or so. After the birth of our second son my ex-wife seemed to suffer from some very mild depression and anxiety, but even in her own words it wasn't bad, she was just down a little bit, and had mild anxiety at times.

One of her friends was taking Cymbalta and loved the way that it made her feel (as a side note, that friend is now a horrible alcoholic probably largely due to the Cymbalta). Basically, my ex-wife went to her doctor and came home with Cymbalta because our neighbor liked it.

After four weeks or so of being on the low dose Cymbalta she became very non interested in me, but she was still basically the same person. After being on the Cymbalta for a month the doctor doubled her dosage and that is when the problems really started. Incidentally, I find it very odd that for most of these meds the starting dose is generally doubled if it is determined not to be enough.

Within a few weeks after going on the higher dose of Cymbalta she stopped doing everything with me, and was always at the mall with her friends or running errands of some sort.

She soon decided that she wanted to go back to work after being a stay at home mom for the last four years.

Within three months after going back to work she began coming home very late, and just was bitter towards me in every way. In many ways, I started to feel like a single parent.

Three months after starting her job she began cheating on me with a co-worker, coming home late, and really drinking at very excessive levels. She had become a completely different person in every way.

When I found out she was cheating I pleaded for her to stay so that we could work on our marriage but she insisted on moving out of the house.

The person she was having the affair with left his wife and got divorced, and my ex then dumped him (I have to say that I did enjoy that a bit).

During the one year or so separation that led to my divorce she only brought up the idea of getting back together once, over the course of about a week or so. This happened when her doctor was weaning her off of Cymbalta, and the new medication that she was switching to had not yet had time to start working. For that brief week I felt like my wife was back and that my marriage had a chance to survive all of this, but once the Zoloft had time to start working I felt her slip away again. Thankfully though, the Zoloft didn't seem to push her into a manic state as did the Cymbalta did, but she is just not herself.

To this day she is still on the Zoloft. We are divorced and do a real good job raising our kids together, I have them 50% of the time. She is no longer angry or crazy in terms of drinking and things like that, but the woman that I used to love is no longer there.

I have now moved on emotionally, and hope to find someone that I can spend the rest of my life with. I moved on not because I wanted to, but because I had to. It took a long time for me to lose the attachment that I had to my ex, and I had a very rough last couple of years. I'm at a good point now, but I am convinced that my family was destroyed by Cymbalta and Zoloft.

EFFEXOR - Amanda

Dearborn, MI

I'm so happy to have found this discussion. Just 4 days ago, my partner of almost two years (medicated on 75mg of Effexor daily) broke up with me without any warning. I had noticed he was withdrawing from me so I thought he needed some space (which we had discussed before moving in together). Giving him space only made him more distant, so upon bringing up the subject and hoping we could talk things out, he said he just fell out of love with me and couldn't deal with me anymore. Instead of talking through things like a normal couple (we had talked of engagement and he had purchased a diamond ring for me just a month prior to this event, and had scheduled a trip out of the country together just 3 weeks prior), he simply said he couldn't do it anymore and now I'm not only in the process of moving, but in the process of trying to figure out how someone can simply not love someone anymore.

His medication had caused many other major issues in our relationship (erectile dysfunction for one. We had stopped all attempt at intimacy well over a year ago, which I was willing to deal with and rarely brought it up for fear of hurting him) and if he didn't take the meds, his withdrawal symptoms were terrifying, typically including episodes of rage and physical sickness.

I always knew this drug would tear us apart. He had mentioned a while ago that he was having difficulty relating to other people and he even said he felt emotionally dead, and upon switching to Zoloft (in hopes of managing the ED), fell into a deep depression and he completely cut me out of his life, again, without warning I called him to see what time he wanted to catch a movie (we had made the plans the night before) and he broke up with me instead. A week later, he said he couldn't live without me and needed me back in his life (he had switched back to Effexor, sometimes a combination of Effexor and Zoloft, to bring his mood back up). This rollercoaster is more than I can handle, and having someone make such impulsive decisions regarding our future is devastating. Even the most dysfunctional relationships I've been in at least had more communication and effort put toward working through our problems than this one, since my partner never ever wanted to talk problems through. It was always all or nothing. Does this type of "all or nothing" behavior seem characteristic for someone on this medication?

The strangest part of this is that we were very happy together and had often spoke of getting old together, buying property together, getting married etc. Everyone who ever met us together said that we were obviously meant for each other and that no two other people were ever a more perfect fit together. That is exactly how I feel and now I'm left picking up the pieces after a second breakup, trying to figure out what happened. He seemed to be on a yearly cycle of this type of impulsive behavior, leaving my family and friends to wonder if this was a safe relationship to be in for me. We weren't married and had no children.

He said he wants to maintain a friendship, though I'm not sure if this can even work after the amount of pain this drug has caused both of us. Sometimes the things people say (especially while on Effexor) cannot be taken back. While I'm still thinking he does love me (despite the pain, I still love him very much and often wish I had the same ability to simply "turn off" love), I'm certainly not holding out hope that this type of relationship could work long-term.

Wife of Effexor User

Jesup, GA

Update: After trying in vain to get him to see someone about his depression and to get off the drugs, I found out in March that he has been having a 15 month affair with a prostitute and has fallen in love with her. He is drinking in excess, smoking, neglecting his business, says he has no feelings for me or anyone but the prostitute. He has spent $81,000.00 of our money in the past 15 months. Our 30 year marriage is over and we are in the process of getting a divorce.

SSRI - Any reason to hold on

Colorado Springs, CO

My ex and I have been through the exact same thing that so so many people are describing here. Basically, a very good marriage until strong antidepressants were introduced, and then lying, cheating, excessive drinking, falling complete out of love, and her defending the antidepressants as if they were a life long love.

We have two young children and have now been divorced for over a year, the situation was completely out of my control and nothing I could have done would have made my previously loving ex want to work on our marriage.

I know that at some point my ex will decide to go off of her antidepressants, if there is one thing that she likes it is change ...

The question I have for anyone out there that has been through a similar situation and gone off the meds is this: Is there any chance that my ex may see what really happened when she finally does go off the meds ?

We share two wonderful children and speak to each other regularly. Our marriage was very good until the drugs became a part of it.

I have moved on, but still hold a glimmer of hope as there is nothing I could possibly want more than the healing of my broken family.



Hi all..its amazing that there r so many of us suffering the consequences of medications taken by our partners....my 12 th anniversary just went by a couple of days back...i burnt a dvd with pics of my wife and me and the family thru the years...i have an extensive collection and not one pic (after or before 3 months of it being taken) could show the pain that she imagines today...she believes that our entire 15 years together have been nothing...I am indian and she is german...we live in mumbai but we made it work....we were a model couple till 3 years back when she went to a shrink coz she was feeling down...she was prescribed anti=depressants for a month and then was asked to see him again....she never went back...but continued the pills...the change in personality is crazy...she is not the same person i married...2 people shifted continental cultural differences, got married, have a child (9) and after 15 years, boom!!! she wants out...caught her chatting with some unknown guy thru farmville (she is addicted) and now they talk like a teenage dating couple...she is 46 and i am 43...thought i would have to be careful about my pre-teen sons activity on the net...i am now horrified that i have to figure out what my wife is upto...we had it great...i know it...in her chemical haze, have no idea if she can remember anything...

SSRI - lainey

Palo Alto, CA

My tragic story is just like the other hundreds shared here...so I won't bore you with the details. But it's now been 2 years that have passed since my husband 'changed'. But sadly...all anyone remembers at the end of the day (even me at times) is that your spouse stopped loving you one day - then left you. Even if your spouse (now-ex) has since come off the meds, and is unclear about why he ever left/still loves you...by then there is so much time, betrayals, heartache that has occured, that it is nearly impossible to go back and ever try to make a go of things again. Though I'm doing much better 2 years on...still one single thought about it/him can reduce me to tears in a hot second. It's something I've learned to live with, though grudingly.


Austin, TX

After 15 years of marriage my wife started taking Ultram (SSRi pain reliever) recreationally. A few months later everything fell apart. She started drinking heavily at parties and flirting excessively with other men in front of me, our friends, and our kids. Later she had an affair with two other men and kicked me and our kids out of the house and divorced me. During all of this I kept asking “what is going on!?” I don’t think I’ll ever understand what happened and how much Ultram played a role in this. The comments made here sound awfully familiar to me and my situation. It was a nightmare to go through this experience but now I’m happy to be single and free from craziness. I wouldn’t wish this to happen to anyone’s family. I hope people become more aware of the potential danger of these chemicals.

PAXIL - cat

Dallas, TX

my husband was the most amazing, stable, loyal, loving man for 15 years

then he took paxil for mild anxiety and within weeks was a raging drunk, chasing women and just generally obnixuous a*hole (i refer to this creature as his "inner frat boy")

four years later he quit the paxil cold turkey, and seems now to be so much like his old self

the longer he's "back" the more convinced i am that his actions were at the very least contributed to the meds

hangin there & good luck


SERTRALINE - Devastated Family

Roanoke, VA

My wife has been on Sertraline for about 2 years. I nidn't realize how this drug was affecting her until the dosage was raised in april to the maximum (200mg dsily). She suddenly became a totally different person with different wants and interests. She decided she no longer loved me, and "I couldn't make her love me". I am in a horrible divorce now, with 2 young girls that do not understand what happened to Mommy. She leaves every day as soon as I get home from work. She has "friends" that are guys she previously had no interest in. She even stayed the night WITH our girls at one of their homes...saying there was nothing wrong with it, and she slept with her clothes on. I am hurt beyond what I could have ever imagined, and feel totally helpless. I suggested maybe the drug was causing her to feel this way, but she defends it to no end. I am fighting for custody of the girls, as she has not shown she has much concern for those kids. She comes home at anywhere from 2-7AM, and my girls have to fend for themselves for hours while she sleeps till noon or later. She has not given them a cooked meal in 3 months...(cereal for breakfast, sandwich for lunch). I am not perfect, but do not feel I deserve this horror! It absolutely destroys me thinking of where she is, or who she is with. The girls always ask where Mommy is, and

I cannot honestly answer them. She has secret "friends" who she keeps a secret...even from our girls. I know I have the upper hand in this divorce, but the loneliness and helplessness are killing me just the same. I told her I cannot imagine life without her in it, and she doesn't seem to care. I can't believe someone hasn't realized this drug ruins many lives....other than those of us living with the effects. Someone please help us all!!!

SSRI - Jake

United States

I am amazed and, frankly, relieved to see the amount of response this issue has gotten. When my wife of 3 years started cheated and realized "she never loved me, and wouldn't even if she could choose to", she had just started anti-depression treatment. I tried to find a connection online, but couldn't find anything concrete, and by that point I had gotten too frustrated to try to fix it anyway. It's good to know a person I loved deeply didn't change personalities for no reason at all. I thought I was just trying to rationalize things by blaming the drugs.

PRISTIQ - At a loss

Los Angeles, CA

My boyfriend and I just happily celebrated our 18 month anniversary and my birthday where he showered me with gifts and a lovely personal card about us and our past "amazing" 18 mos together, we were planning for the future together, he had just put an offer down on a home after 6 mos of house-hunting together and we even had just returned from a fun vacation together. Shortly after and 2 weeks into taking Pristiq for anxiety he grew distant and just as if he woke up as another person that morning he abruptly broke up and ended our relationship with no build up, signs, or argument- just turned to me one evening and blurted that he loved me but wasn't sure if he was "in love" with me. And that was that. Closed off, ended it and to this day I still don't know who "that guy" was because he was not the man I had been dating all those 18 months before Pristiq.

SSRI - Dary

San Clemente, CA

my ex-gf/fiance has been off the medication for a month and is starting to realize it might have been medication related due to other side effects she's still experiencing. she's more open to the idea that we might be together again but she also has a lot of her old mentality and doesnt want to give me false hope because she once went through a hard break up where her boyfriend said he loved her afterwords and it made it hard for her to get over him.

I'm more optimistic now because she admits missing me and doesn't want to be the way she is now, but it's still hard and I'm just hoping things will work out later.


Edmonton, Canada

I have to say, yes I have reviewed many of the pages here and my own life circumstances are so similar that it can.t be just a theory. I was on Effexor XR for more than 7 years. In the beginning I did notice that it made me more passive. I mean I am a tradesman and have had to develope the personality that gets work crews to get jobs done. I found about 6 months after starting Effexor it got to the point where "nothing bothered me", but in reality it emotionally deadened me. I didn't give a shit if things got done or not.

About 7 months ago my wife started taking the same drug, and she to has asked for divorce. It broke my heart, we were high school sweethearts. Her behaviour changed so drastically that I didn't recognize her. She previously was the most soft hearted, compassionate person I have ever known but now it is definetly like "Dr. Jekell and Hyde".

She came out with staements like she never felt she really had my heart. Also things like I never complimented her or opened doors for her. All of which couldn't have been further from the truth. She said she couldn't wait to get out there and wanted to get away from me.

We have two girls, one in a wheelchair. The damage this drug is causing is destroying families and lives.

Please if you have been lucky enough to stumble onto this website. Take heed, get off of effexor whatever way you have to do it. We're talking about losing families, relationships, houses, cars, college funds, etc. All because of one little pill,that gets prescribed to you by someone you are supposed to be able to trust. Your family doctor, what has become of the society we live in today, when this can acyually happen?

Be aware, tell your friends about this. Effexor is causing H-A-V-O-C in people lives.

I would encourage anybody else with lost marriage stories to step up. I could use the support at this time. Peace!!


Fort Collins, CO

I hate to say this, as I have been through the same exact thing that so many people on this site have written about: Pretty good marriage -> Anti-Depressants -> lying, cheating, apathy towards family life, personality change -> Divorce

But, from my experience you might just as well be talking to a brick wall when talking to medical professionals. Unless you can find one whose life has been personally destroyed by these drugs you are likely going to be simply labeled as a controlling husband that can't accept that his wife doesn't love him any more.

I really wish that some high-profile person like Tom Cruise would do a movie (not a documentary) that goes through this whole cycle and shows all of the personal destruction that these drugs can cause. It's the only way that this is really ever going to get the attention that it needs.

Good luck with your situation. The only real advice I can offer is to try to not be emotional, just stick to the facts, and talk about how odd it is that everyone accepts the sexual side affects but is in complete denial that it goes any further than that. These same people are probably willing to acknowledge that there is a direct relationship between emotional connection and sexual desire but they are bran dead as far as the possibility that antidepressants can kill long term emotional bonds. This entire line of thinking is completely close-minded and irrational in every way.



Birmingham, UK

ts been a while since I last posted but I wanted to give you all an update on my wifes situation. I know the subject of someone slowly returning to normal is of interest to a lot of people on here.

It hasnt all been smooth sailing I can tell you that much. For about three weeks my wifes true personality came back. She was hit by "a tidal wave of guilt and regret" and wanted to try and fix our family no matter what. Then, almost like someone flicked a switch, she was back blaming me, avoiding my texts and phonecalls and we were finshed for good again.

This went on for another 2-3 weeks and then, its like someone flick the switch back again. She came back to the family home again for a weekend and the whiole time she was hugging me, crying about the mess she has made and talking about how we can fix it. About 10 days now she has been like this but I am just waiting for that switch to be flicked again... It seems that, rather than a gradual change like I was expecting, she has periods of clarity followed by periods of cold hearted evil bitch. I am expecting the periods of clarity to increase, but who knows how long it will take for her personality changes to go away.

ZOLOFT - Dazed

Demotte, IN

I've been reading these posts for several months and decided to finally write. My spouse is 3 years status post TBI. Given zoloft for laughing, crying, mood disorder. After being on it approximately 14 months, left me after 27 years of marriage. Had an affair. Stopped the meds under dr's. orders. Back home for 7 months now, with deep deep regret. Feels nothing like did while on meds. I thank GOD the meds are out of the picture now. I had no idea they could be so devastating as I take effexor and have no ill effets.

SSRI - Destroyed my marriage

Dublin, Ireland

Turned my much loved wife into an angry maniac, had an affair has been unemployed and became involved in pornographic forms obsessively.

The people who prescribe these things should be forced to take them themselves- then they probably do anyway.

Ruined my daughters childhood and my parents contact with their grandchild. She is now double her weight when married at constantly lashes out in bursts of anger and seeks confrontations with people who live around her. She was a kind natured and nice person once. Complete personality change.

Great subject and well done to whoever set this site up.

EFFEXOR - Casuality in VA

Yorktown, VA

Add me as another in the long list of devoted spouses affected by this type of drug. I've finally gotten the nerve to get on here and post since finding this site in Dec. My story is so much like many of you, it's scary. For the past 6 months, my wife has not been the same woman that I met and married 14 years ago. We've had such a wonderful life together that it's hard to believe it's over. She was my soul-mate and best friend...I love her with all my heart. Even armed with all these posts and references, she's not totally convinced (if at all) that this medication is making her act/think irrationally. She knows she's throwing it all away, but can't stop the madness. Anyway, there's not a whole lot I can add to this board that hasn't already been said over and over. What I can say is this, no matter how many people try to convince you that you're placing too much emphasis on the drug...you're not. We all have way too much in common to think that this is all a coincidence or that we might be overreacting.

I have personally made it a point to tell everyone that I meet or talk to about my (my wife's) experience with Effexor. I think that one of the best/most positive things we can all do is raise awareness. Like I said, I tell everyone...even the folks I speak to on the phone that are helping me remove my wife's name from accounts (at her request). I know it hurts to say, but we've all been affected one way or another, so lets try to spread the word and hopefully save others before they get to where we are. This is a miserable place to be, I thank each and every one of you for sharing your stories. They have helped me keep my sanity and helped keep me moving forward. I sincerely hope that me and my wife can some day get past all this and make another go at it, but if it's not meant to be it won't. I would gladly exchange emails with anyone that wants to dump on someone that knows what your going through...it helps. I also know that friends and family sometimes don't want to hear this "drug is the problem" mumbo jumbo. Just reply to this post...I get email notifications of updates and will gladly respond. Again, thanks everyone...

SSRI - beentheretoo

Colorado Springs, CO

I have been through everything that everyone here describes including the infidelity, separation, divorce,... All of which started one month after my ex went on on antidepressants. For me it's been three years since my wife of eight years at the time and the mother of my two sons left, but I couldn't agree more with your point about how most of us would do anything to have their real partner back ... My ex is now with someone else, and still medicated, but in a way it's almost as if the woman I once loved has died. There is nothing about the new her that makes me want to be with her, but I would do anything to have the woman that I once loved back. I've fought the good fight, and always treated her extremely well no matter how ugly she has been with me but at this point I just can't hold on any more so I'm going to get on with my life ...


Middletown, RI

I took Effexor many years ago and it really messed me up. I went from depressed to suicidal and a total uninhibited mess. I changed meds and now I'm doing very well.

My fiance however just started taking Effexor a few weeks ago and now says she doesn't love me and doesn't want to see me anymore. Prior to her taking Effexor we were madly in love and so excited to start our lives together. She broke up with me literally out of nowhere. This probably sounds like just a break up story to many, but it is completely out of character for her and I'm just at a loss. Even if she didn't want to be married, her actions lately are just not her.

EFFEXOR - StayStrong

Sydney, Australia

Thanks for all your posts. It does give me strength knowing that there is finally an "explanation". My wife has been on Effexor for over 2 years. Over time its as if a brick wall was being built and there was no way for me to get in. Now it is a triple layer fortress.

The last 12 months have been hell. No feelings, coldness, im naturally at fault allround for everything, suddenly the 6 year marriage has also been horrible....... just like you (Lost) described (in fact I feel you have written my story)

This evening I tried to bring up that Effexor may be a factor - Well, that didn't go down too well. In fact she said that I should have been the one on antidepressants this whole time not her. What the @%*!, She even said her doctor agreed. The fact that I have not seen her Dr as a patient and that she was prescribed the meds seems to not be relevant in her thinking. She even said she is happy taking them forever

Anyway, after all the posts i have read I have no doubt whatsoever that these horrible drugs have ruined my once beautiful marriage - it all sounds way too familiar.

We separated a week ago and just started packing up the house and separating stuff. We have 2 children (7 & 5)- and their happiness is what keeps me going.

Is there ANY way I can convince her to at least try and see if she can get off the meds. Any ideas or tips anyone can offer.

I cant just give up yet.

EFFEXOR - Losing hope

Arlington, VA

I am horrified by all these posts - this is just too familiar. Is there any hope? My husband has been on effexor for 2+ years (not seeing a psych, no CBT, gets it from urgent care) and I believe his inclination to divorce and his ambivalence to the whole situation is a result of this medication. We are in counseling, but he is very close to leaving me and our 2 small children. We have our issues as does any marriage, but nothing that would warrant splitting up. He is just so irrational, irritable, sad, blase, confused, fatigued.... IS THERE ANY HOPE?? I still think we can work.

SSRI - Getting better

Saint Louis, MO

My wife is off the drugs for more than 6 months and has her feelings back and is the woman I fell in love with. We have lots of issues to deal with (legal and other) but there is hope for recovery.

SSRI - bad drugs


My wife aged 52 has been on SSRI's for 8 months and is now behaving like a teenager. She has removed herself from our relationship and has retreated to our spare room (the kids left a couple of years ago)discovered facebook and is back in touch with her friends from years ago, is looking at wierd and wonderful domaines, has sexual fantasies (thought they were supposed to lower your libido!)and wants to travel abroad by herself.

Sh no longer wants to be married so I am just going to let her get on with it.

SSRI - utterly confused

South Ockendon, UK

I have read a lot of the posts on this site and want with all my heart to believe that my girlfriend of 18 years (We never married)is changed by the SSRI drugs she was taking. Some days I believe wholeheartedly that our breakup is because of the SSRI's but other days My head wanders through all the facts and I then wonder if she was really unhappy for the last few years and didnt know what she wanted. This is what i do know:-

1) She told me everyday how much she loved me.

2) She was extremely loving, kind and compassionate.

3) She always put me first and put hersef out for me even when I tried to discourage her.

4) She was vunerable in an endearing way

5) She had had a bad childhood that had scarred her

6) If I was in pain she always wished she could bear it for me.

7) She missed me when I was not around and could not sleep without me.

8) She sang my praises to other people.

9) She told me I was her world and she never wanted to be with our me.

10) She told me se loved spending time with me.

These are things that confuse me

1) She wants to be independant and stand on her own two feet

2) She hasn't been happy for years (she is bored)

3) she does not find me sexually attractive

4) We are just best friends that love each other

5) She doesnt want to hurt me.

6) She wants to meet new people and have new challenges in her life

7) She feels trapped

8) She says Feelings change, lots of people fall out of love, people split everyday

9) She has feelings and sexual desire for someone else

10) She is not afraid to see what a new life has to offer and it excites her.

She thinks the SSRI's have only enabled her to want these things because they have given her confidence in herself and made her not needy (of me)

She has never lived on her own and needs to find her true self and not be in a relationship.

She is so sure of these new feelings that I wonder if it is the case and I am just deluding myself because I don't want to believe she has cahnged and wont come back to me and our life.

I Do know that she is not the same person I have spent most of my life with and If I met her now I would not fall in love with her. I Do not want to be with who she is now but I would love to get back my old girlfriend,

SSRI - going mad

Derby, UK

my wife is on SSRI's has been for about a year.

suddenly she has decided she no longer loves me and wants to leave. Up until recently she has always said the one thing she knows in lif is that she loves me. Now we are only best friends, the tablets have given her confidence, enough to realise that she does no longer want to be looked after by me, she wants to stand on her own two feet and take responsibility for her own life. She no longer wants to look after anyone and wants to put her own needs first. Do what she wants to do when she wants to do it. She is no longer house proud, she likes going out and meting different people to have new conversations with (our life has become boring) we have nothing to say to each other anymore. Sh no longer feels 'in love' with me. The tablets have given her the confidence to realise that she wants changes in her life and freedom from any relationship. The tablets have given her the freedom to make these choices. She sounds completely sane in what she is saying to everyone that knows us and I sound like I am going completely mad saying @but its the tablets that have changed er personality' Who would you believe in their shoes? Even I know who I'd believe and it would not be me. I think I am goig mad. We have been together 16 years - I am devastated.

PAXIL - cat

Dallas, TX

my husband was given paxil by his GP for mild work related anxiety. what followed were the absolute worst four years of my entire life. within two months of starting the drug, my formerly reliable, faithful, wonderful husband had turned into a cold, uncaring, cheating alcoholic monster (he had NEVER hurt me before in our 17 years together)

during our break up, he had read about the possible link b/n paxil & the alcohol and decided to stop taking it. he quit CT in 09/09. approximately four months after he quit, the first signs of his old self began to re-emerge. i remember the moment so clearly - we were on the phone, and i swear tho it sounds crazy, i could "hear" the change in his voice - there was a brightness, a sort of life and vitality in his voice that had all but been lost. i get chills now remembering the moment - it was like i hadn't spoken to HIM in years! i had missed him SO much!!

his "reconstruction" has been amazing to witness. we are now about a year and a half out from the last pill, and we are at 98% healed and recovered. and like Saved, I have heaped the blame on these drugs, which has made forgiveness a piece of cake.

i wanted to share b/c i want all of you to know

- it IS these damn pills.

- try to not be hurt by the things they do - impossible i know, but please consider that your partner isn't trying to hurt you, they are just trying to survive

- if they get off the drugs, the partner you had CAN come back. and you can put your relationship back together, even better than it was before.

have faith and be strong


SSRI - perplexed

Basildon, UK

I have read many of the post here and can confirm my partner is a ssri user, I thougt I was one of the lucky ones as after she changed dramatically (about 8 months in and a very bad bout of vertigo) she agreed to stop taking them. She shows all the same symptoms you guys write about, not in love anymore, indifferent, wants a new life away from me etc.... My problem with the understanding of all this is if it is the SSRI'S (which on most days I have to think it must be because I don't recognise my partner) how come she is only horrid to me? She is lovely to everyone else, friends, family, strangers!!! She only dislikes me and is only nasty, uncaring and completely indifferent to me. How come her behaviour towards others is not the same - this is when I start to doubt! She must know how she is behaving, she must know what she is doing but does not feel guilty at all. Can anyone shed any light on this aspect of behaviourb for me???? Especially someone who has taken SSRI@S and returned to their feelings.

PS She has been off them 8 weeks now and there is no change to her behaviour. Can I still hold out hope?


LUVOX - help

Dawson, GA

My wife's doctor doubled her dosage of Luvox from 150 mg to 300 mg in January. The label states 300 mg is the max dosage and she only ways 95 lbs. She often misses a day or two of taking it and then starts back. In February my wife tells me she does not love me and she wants a divorce. We have been married 14 years and have three children. She has become so cold and distant. Could it be the Luvox ?

SSRI - rowan

Little Ferry, NJ

Does anyone have a story regarding these meds with a happy ending? My story is so similar to most of these and I have convinced my Husband to go off the meds. How long will it take to see my old Love again? All these stories are so sad and the people on the meds do not notice any change in themselves. I wonder if I have any chance of seeing the love of my life and husband of 30 years...

He says he has just fell out of love and it is not the meds but I whole heartedly believe it is. I tried reaching out to his

Doc but he just blew me off because my husband told him how great he felt...! Very angry and sad...

SSRI - Is time on our side

Ilford, UK

I have just found this site this week and want to ask - So whats next in the time stakes that we are all watching tick by ?

My husband is off the damn pills 2 months now. We are still in the I no longer love you and am not interested in being with you (much prefers strangers company in pubs to me) He is miserable, low, self pitying, bored, feels like he is ailing for something, has felt cold this last few days even though its not cold, is quite happy to go to bed and just sleep for hours, seems to be more rational about the downturn in his life but is still seeking alternatives for his new life away from me. He is still being flirty and kind to a woman he works with that has got his attention big time (he tlaks about her all the time and I can see from our phone that he calls her a lot (doesnt even think to hide the fact he contacts her so much and he is buying her gifts). He is amdamant he wants a different life for himself and anything seems better than staying with me.(6 months ago he loved me so much and we were very happy together). His other love was golf and he hardly plays anymore? I hate to see him so down and sorry for himself. He has started going to the gym again this week and I have bought him the glutamine today after reading STW post. He is having no dizzy side effects or strong withdrawls. Is it possible he will start to have feelings for me again - what can I expect to see from his moods next does it follow certain stages? Are we going in the right direction for recovery or should I stop looking for the old him? Please help.


Bloomington, IN

have something to say....I found out that a guy I work withs daughter is getting divorced..400 acres of land, a horse riding business and a miltimillion dollar company are being thrown down the drain for this divorce....found out today that the same damn doctor that prescribed my wife this crap...ex wife sorrry...prescribed the same drug to my coworkers daughter....DAMN!...how many lives has this one doctor screwed up? Also, my best friends sister just left her husband for a man from england who isn't even here legally...you guessed it...she's on zoloft......also...my friends mom is divorcing her husband of 41 years...you guessed it...celexa....good grief...is the whole world mad!


West Concord, MN

hi,i have a story just like so many of the individuals posting comments on this site. i have witnessed my wife of six years completley transform into another person over this past year. i could not figure out what was going on, all i knew is the feeling of not being cared about, or loved anymore was strongly evident. it took me months to finally put "two & two" together. i remembered she told me her doctor had put her on some anti- crabby medicine after the birth of our first child. so i found out what she was on, plus the dose amount and started my own investigative on-line research. my very first forum was my "eureka" momement. then i just kept reading the horror stories one after another, it seemed as if they were describing my life to a "T". i was floored by the similarities,almost haunting if you ask me. so i printed off about ten pages to show to my wife, she didnt seem to think they applied to her for some reason. i was beside myself, "look, here it is in black and white" i thought to myself, well after much effort i finally think she has been convinced by me and my mother to come off them. this has been months and months of trying to exploit these damn pills. her behavior is completley out of character...going out drinking, driving intoxicated, not coming home, lying, false promises...ect. un-real!!! not to mention the lack of emotion or caring towards me. any ways, i feel like starting a support group awareness program, to exploit the horrors of these evil drugs. just think of all the couples out there, that dont realize what or why their spouse or loved one has changed on these damn pills. i think commercials should be run on t.v. telling how bad theses affects can be on people, but i know that aint gonna happen. i can only hope my wife comes off these and my marriage is saved, i love her so much....i just want her back again, the woman i married.

i just wanted to add one more thing, if you have gone through this with a spouse or loved one, the only thing that keeps me going and hanging in there is the fact that i realize now, that this is not my wife.... this is like an alter-ego of my wife, its very much like dealing with any person on drugs, legal or street drugs. lying, deceit, just plain dont care who they hurt. i sure hope im right about this one...my marriage depends on it.

SSRI - confused

As is a common theme here, I too get a sense of relief reading these posts. Seems to explain the recent uncaring behavior of my now ex-wife. Same old story line. Near perfect wife and mother seemly overnight became apathetic and self-centered with a strange and destructive personality change. Having noted the possible connection to the ssni medication, now what. I pointed it out to her and got the same response as most of the others above. I was crazy. I was judging. So is there any recourse but to wait for the train wreck to unfold. She has greatly damaged the lives of everyone who ever loved her and doesn’t seem to care. Any ideas. Also has anyone tried to change the anti-depressant prescription patterns in this country. Pills handed out like candy by practitioners with little or know knowledge of depression or medication side effects.

SSRI - Wearywife

Lincoln, UK

May I first of all thank you for this forum? I am currently the wife of a man who has been acting under the influence of SSRIs for over 3 years, during which time his behaviour has been completely bewildering. It is a great comfort to me to find that at least there may be a reason for it and that there is the possibility of changing the way things are. I’d like to think things will improve, but I am not being overly optimistic and will take each day as it comes. Having read your content I’m certainly not expecting to go back to “the way we were” but just hopeful that we might get to a better place than the one we’re in just now.

Unlike the majority of cases here my husband actually made the connection with SSRI use and his personality changes himself. It was him who had the “Eureka” moment and started searching the internet for more information and found this and some other sites which he has passed on to me. On the back of the information he has gleaned from these forums he has made the decision himself to stop the drugs, and has been weaned off by his GP, who immediately agreed with him that alarm bells were ringing in the personality change / manic department. Fortunately she had already reduced him to the lowest therapeutic dose several months ago, so the process was not as protracted as some. Nevertheless he has been suffering withdrawal symptoms, but is tholing them not too badly so far.(Brain zaps, mood swings).