Autumn in Hieron 06: A Bad Trip
Transcribed by:
Ronnie @ronithebear- 0m-9m30s
AUSTIN: You wanna do it at 13:24:20? 13:24:25, let's say?
ART: Sure.
NICK: Okay.
AUSTIN: Dre, be at time.is.
DRE: [confused] What? [more confused] What??
AUSTIN: Time out, time out. So, no one clap. No one clap. No one clap. Okay.
[multiple people clap]
AUSTIN: Hey. God damn it! [laughter] Dre, go to your internet bar…
DRE: Uh-huh.
AUSTIN: ...and go to time.is.
DRE: Oh man. [typing]
NICK: Wait, did…
AUSTIN: This is a thing we should have...
DRE: Holy shit…
NICK: My internet bar, there was one across the street but it closed a couple years ago, like you know…
AUSTIN: [sighs and laughs] I need you to go over there and clap!
[laughter]
AUSTIN: We all clap at our local internet bars! We can bring Nick's back to life. Like a spirit bomb.
[laughter]
ART: Oh, I thought you were going to say "like Tinkerbell."
[more laughter and sighing]
DRE: What are we doing at time.is?
AUSTIN: At 13:25:10 we're gonna clap.
DRE: Okay.
[pause]
[slightly in-sync clap]
ART: Oh, that was bad.
AUSTIN: Not good. That was bad.
ART: We did a bad job.
AUSTIN: Keith is gonna- is gonna kill us!
[laughter]
DRE: Ugh! Sorry, can we do another one?
AUSTIN: We can just do another one.
DRE: That was my first one!
AUSTIN: That's fine. I think we'll be fine.
NICK: Alright.
DRE: Yeah, I think we'll be fine. Keith's a wiz.
AUSTIN: And he'll hear you just now saying that you were a little early and know how to address that.
NICK: Okay.
ART: Yeah, I guess…
NICK: Also, hi Keith.
ART: Let me finish... let me type this new move…
NICK: How're you doing, Keith? I hope you're good right now.
DRE: Hey, Keith!
AUSTIN: I bet he's great. [pauses] Hey, Keith.
DRE: I wanna write a love letter to Keith.
AUSTIN: Yeah, please write a love letter to Keith.
[laughter]
AUSTIN: Everyone, let's write a love letter to Keith!
ART: Like, one of these love letters?
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ART: Or like, a real love letter?
AUSTIN: Or, well, like both! "Dear Keith, your eyes are dreamy. Roll plus Charisma to seduce me."
[laughter]
DRE: [in a dreamy voice] "Keith, you've been editing podcasts for years. [AUSTIN laughs] What is it about this project that makes you so excited?"
[scattered laughter]
DRE: "Roll plus INT [Intelligence modifier]"
[more scattered laughter]
AUSTIN: Okay.
NICK: Keith has an ongoing bonus of +10 for seducing me.
AUSTIN: That's a pretty good…
ART: That's a good, that's a…
AUSTIN and ART: [simultaneously] ...big bonus!
AUSTIN: That's an automatic Super Success!
NICK: Uh-huh!
DRE: [dramatically flirty voice] Who's that big bonus?
NICK: [laughs]
AUSTIN: [skeptical] Hmmm…
[someone laughs and then clears their throat]
AUSTIN: [amused] Alright, get those laughs. Okay.
DRE: [laughs]
[THEME SONG STARTS] [00:02:17]
AUSTIN: Hey, Internet. Welcome to Friends at the Table, an actual play podcast focused on critical worldbuilding, smart characterization, and fun interaction between good friends. We're presented by StreamFriends.tv and RunButton.net, though our RunButton.net cohort, Keith Carberry, is not here. He will be producing the episode, still, using all of his magical, mysterious, [fumbles for words a couple times] audio editing skills. My voice is all over the place! We're recording early today, so if I stumble over words, please forgive me. Uh, Keith's not here, but people who are here include... Art?
ART: Hey!
AUSTIN: Where can people find you, Art?
ART: Oh, uh, I thought we were just doing short ones! [laughs] I'm on twitter.com/ATebbel. Be sure to catch all the hot commentary I've had on the crazy events in the last couple weeks of October! Woof!
AUSTIN: It's... we're recording this in September. We're still in September.
ART: Shut... stop! No! This is- is live whenever anyone listens to it!
[laughter]
AUSTIN: [amused sigh] Also joining us is Nick!
NICK: Hello!
AUSTIN: Where are you at on the Internet? How are you doing in there?
NICK: Good! You can find me at Twitch, Twitter, and YouTube /DrEvilBones.
AUSTIN: And last but not least, but joining us for the first time, and going forward he'll be joining us... is, uh, you know... Andre3000 himself... [DRE laughs] Andrew Lee Swan!
NICK: Yaaay!
[THEME SONG FADES]
DRE: Hey everyone!
AUSTIN: Obi Swan Kenobi... you already know what it is.
DRE: [laughs] Just, that's... that's where we're stopping the nickname train?
AUSTIN: I dunno, it's up to you!
DRE: Well, then we'll keep it there.
AUSTIN: Okay.
DRE: Yeah, we'll keep it there.
AUSTIN: There's more! Y'all should be on the internet. Y'all should look!
DRE: Just, too many. Uh, you can find me on Twitter, I'm at Andrew Lee Swan.
AUSTIN: And you can find me at Austin_Walker on Twitter, and also on Ello? I haven't been using Ello, but I camped that Austin_Walker spot just in case someone else wanted to impersonate me.
AUSTIN (CONT.): So, Friends at the Table. We hit a point a couple of weeks ago while recording a game set in that tower where it was like, okay, this is too big. We have too many players as it is, in order for things like combat to move smoothly, and for it to really feel like a conversation between friends. And Andrew wanted to join us, and he'd wanted to join us from before that, but I didn't wanna just... throw a sixth player character on top of an already large party in the middle of an adventure. But, now we've split into these two smaller groups, and these groups might not be permanent. These groups might switch up a little bit going, again, not in the middle of an adventure, but during some downtime, for instance. We'll see how that shakes out.
AUSTIN (CONT.): We are playing Dungeon World, which is a game by Sage LaTorra and Adam Koebel. It is a hack of Apocalypse World by D Vincent Baker. And... when we last left off... Does anybody wanna do a super brief recap of the final events of the last episode for us?
NICK: Fantasmo got a book.
AUSTIN: Fantasmo got a book. I guess, does Dre not know that, yet?
DRE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: In fact, let's not talk about what happened. This is a good... We'll come back to that.
NICK: Oh, okay.
AUSTIN: Let's start instead... I just realized, this is what we call a "storytelling opportunity" in the business.
[laughter]
NICK: The Business.
ART: The podcasting business?
AUSTIN: Listen. We got that... Listen! Thank you to everyone who has been listening to us on iTunes, 'cause we are currently "New and Noteworthy". Uh... are we New and... we're New and Noteworthy, altogether deep in the overall podcast "New and Noteworthy" list.
ART: Yeah, we're a general deep cut.
AUSTIN: Right, but on "Games and Hobbies," we are in the top 10? Debatably the top 4, depending on how you read the "New and Noteworthy" list. [laughs] [DRE laughs] Um... and in "Other Games," under "Games and Hobbies," I think we're number one on "New and Noteworthy," so thank you…
DRE: Yeah, we were yesterday.
ART: Yeah, we’re #1 with a bullet.
AUSTIN: Please keep listening, please give us some reviews, tell your friends, et cetera. So, let's kick things off. We're starting in Velas for a brief moment. Everyone's looking at this rad map of Velas that Janine linked, or Janine made. I'll link it on the podcast page at FriendsAtTheTable.Net.
NICK: It's so rad.
AUSTIN: It's so rad!
NICK: I love it so much.
ART: I would like people to keep on the lookout for my theory that Janine is just going to end up being the ultimate bad person in this game.
[laughter]
ART: It's gonna be like "and here's a new person," and we won't even know she's on the call. She'll just be there.
[laughter]
AUSTIN: Oh, that would be great. She could use the built-in audio thing in Roll20, so she wouldn't even be on the call!
DRE: Yes!
[laughter]
AUSTIN: Yeah, it would be great! Uh, so let's start off, like I do often whenever we start a new adventure, with Love Letters. Since Nick's starts off kind of the closest to the return, go ahead and read yours.
NICK: Okay. [clears throat]
NICK (reading Love Letter): Fantasmo. The Council is pleased with your performance as Consultant in the Tower.
NICK (reading narration): They pay you an extra 25 coin. They also request the ownership of the book you retrieved, which
NICK: Oh, excuse me.
NICK: (begins reading again) Captain Calhoun reported to them upon return to Velas. You try to convince them to let you keep the book. Roll +CHA, [scattered chuckles] roll plus Charisma, sorry.
AUSTIN: No, it's CHA…
NICK: Cha cha cha. [AUSTIN snort-laughs] On a 10+, the following three are true. On a 7-9, choose one. Alright, so I'm gonna roll my Charisma. Roll my Charisma, here [pronouncing with ‘ch’ sound like CHA instead of ‘k’ sound]... What have we got…
DRE: Your Charmander.
[NICK rolls on the Roll20 app, which everyone can see.]
ART: It’s a nine.
NICK: Oh! Oh, wait…
AUSTIN: So, what are the three you can choose from?
NICK: That's not…
AUSTIN: Yeah, sadly! Sadly, not as good as you'd like.
NICK: Shoot. Uh... so the three that I could choose... [coughs] Excuse me.
AUSTIN: That's fine.
NICK (reading choices in narration): You're given time to copy down the 'Bring to Life' spell. You're allowed to keep the book as its defender. They offer to bring in a translation expert to help you learn the secrets of the book. [pauses] Um…
AUSTIN: What are you gonna do?
NICK: [sighs] I mean, if I choose to just keep the book, that means…
AUSTIN: At some future point you could definitely copy down that spell and try to figure it out, but it means that you don’t have them to go on right now.
NICK: Right.
AUSTIN: You know. And you won't be getting that help.
NICK: I mean, Fantasmo probably thinks he doesn't, I mean, like [snorts] Fantasmo doesn't need any help.
DRE: [laughs]
NICK: Like that's…
AUSTIN: That's true. That is probably in character for him.
NICK: He's a little... miffed that they would even offer that. [some chuckles] What are you, I was the highest level wizard in the university, like, what are you... c'mon.
AUSTIN: So he's gonna keep the book for himself.
NICK: I'm gonna, yeah, he's just gonna keep the book.
AUSTIN: Okay.
NICK: He's gonna study the hell out of it.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------[00:09:32]
Transcribed by: gray @waveechocave
ART: A high-level wizard is basically the same thing as a linguist, right?
AUSTIN: [laughs] Basically! It depends on the sort of magic you do, right? So next up, Hadrian. Art, go ahead and read yours.
ART: Let me just switch that tab real quick…
ART (reading Love Letter): Hadrian, for the week that follows your time in the tower, you dream of the crowned boy looking up into your eyes. His expression changes the first few times: a scowl, a smirk, a look of sadness. And then, for night after night, his eyes look past you, into the distance, into some future that only he can see. What do you do with the crown? Do you tell the—
ART: Are we pronouncing that prelate [PREE-layt]?
AUSTIN: I think it’s prelate [PREH-liht]; I like prelate [PREH-liht].
ART: Prelate [PREH-liht]?
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ART: Prelate [PREH-liht] is better.
DRE: Yeah, I think prelate [PREH-liht] is right.
AUSTIN: Yeah, and I like it. I think that’s a good way of saying, like, your supervisor. That’s what I’m pitching you here, is prelate. I meant to pitch you that off-stream, off-recording, and then forgot to.
ART: I love it.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: It’s great.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: Fantastic work.
ART (reading Love Letter again): Do you tell the prelate about these dreams?
How does he respond?
ART: Oh, so you’re making me… you’re making me… Make a choice about this character.
AUSTIN: I’m gonna toss off a little bit of this narration power to you. What do you think this guy- in a, a- yeah. Tell me- Answer the questions, I guess.
ART: Uhh… Huh. I’m gonna- there’s gonna be a little bit of thinking out loud going on here.
AUSTIN: Yeah. That’s what we do here.
ART: ‘Cause there’s two- there’s two different things I’ve thought… about the prelate. Right?
AUSTIN: Mhm.
ART: And they’re both kinda cliche. ‘Cause he can either be, y’know, a genuine dude, like, he’s a believer, he’s on my side, we’re all on the same side, we’re working to make the world a better place, or… Like, I probably have more direct manifestations of divine power than this guy.
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: And that could really piss him off.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Yeah, totally.
DRE: Like, he’s just a paper-pusher?
AUSTIN: Right- or, well-
ART: Or like, I don’t remember- I think we talked about- I don’t remember where we talked about this for a second- he probably can do some cool stuff.
AUSTIN: Right, right.
ART: But that cool stuff is not as cool as the cool stuff I can do.
AUSTIN: Right, like you can take the wounds of other people onto your body to heal them, right, like that is some Deity 101.
ART: Well that’s, like, when I don’t succeed at that roll.
AUSTIN: But still- it almost is cooler if you don’t, like-
ART: Right.
AUSTIN: It’s almost like… a more clear manifestation of your own power- that it’s yours- that, you know, that is definitely interesting. And especially if you think about the prelate in relation to, like, the other forces in the city, the other forces in the world, like, what he thinks -- how long he’s had this position. I can see that getting very complicated and interesting.
ART: Yeah, and I mean, I guess the most interesting thing is some kind of middle ground, right? Like this guy’s probably a little jealous, you know, this probably isn’t his ideal underling.
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: But, y’know, he didn’t do this- he didn’t join this for personal power. He, y’know- it’s a chafing relationship but he’s not an antagonist, right? He… I’m not his favorite dude, this isn’t his favorite condition, but we’re all… working toward the same thing here.
AUSTIN: Mhm. So… What do you do with the crown?
ART: I, I have- I think I have to give it to him.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: Because I don’t have that knowledge, right? I can’t figure it out on my own. I’m not smart enough and I think I’m pious enough that I have to surrender it to the authorities. This could be- this could be a… thing.
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: Or it could… not. But y’know, I want it to be. I want this to be an ancient relic of some kind. And I don’t think I’m naive enough to think this is the actual first crown… Because what the fuck would it be doing up there? You know, didn’t other kings wear that? I don’t know. This is history that exists, and I should know, but I don’t.
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: Uh, and I also think that those dreams sound troubling, right? Especially, like- they don’t start good either, like it starts with a scowl? [AUSTIN laughs] You know, if I think this is a manifestation of my one true god and I had a dream where he was looking at me and scowling at me, I would wake up talk to a priest.
AUSTIN: Does he- what’s the response you get when you talk to your supervisor? Who I guess is also sort of your living confessional, right?
ART: Right- I mean, I don’t know, that’s a little Catholic for me, but yeah. [laughs] I really want this religion to not end up being Catholicism, but I know that that’s a- that’s our touchstone for big organized religion, right?
AUSTIN: Yeah. Especially big organized monotheistic religion, right, which is what we’ve created here.
ART: Yeah. Uh… y’know, we give lip service to other things. You know, this is like Catholicism back when they were publishing lists of saints that included the Buddha.
AUSTIN: [laughs] Right, right, right.
ART: Uh… [pause] Well, I think the first one was stunning and I had to go say something. Like, this is dangerous stuff. And I would hope that, like, that this is- it’s a response of concern but he’s probably a little excited, right? Like this could be a sign that this golden boy, Hadrian, is headed for a fall, right?
AUSTIN: [amused snort] Right.
ART: Like what if this is- this is- you're seeing a vision of Samothes, and he's forsaken you?
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: And so he's probably super interested- even if he doesn't say that. I don't know that Hadrian's clever enough to deduce that that's his reaction. Uh, and then you know, the next day it's a smirk, and that probably isn't as cut-and-dry for this guy, right? Like, he can still probably create that narrative where this is bad for Hadrian but ‘smirk’ is- 'smirk' is weird. You know- then, a look of sadness? That’s also- that could be good or bad. Uh, and you know, I think there is a part of him that's trying to genuinely counsel me, right? Like, y'know, what does this mean? We're trying to figure it out together but I- Hadrian doesn't have this information, this guy probably doesn't have the information-
AUSTIN: [laughs] Right.
ART: To figure... to figure this out. And maybe he's- [pauses] At the end, after it kind of stabilizes, right, night after night, ‘his eyes look past you into the distance at some future that only he can see,’ like, that- that seems ominous. And once it gets threatening like that I think we decide that we're gonna send some kind of communication to- to a higher person.
AUSTIN: We have to talk about who that is in the future at some point. Also, over the next couple days, try to come up with a name for this prelate, so that we can actually write down something for the future.
ART: Sure. I mean, I'm just gonna stick with Latin things.
AUSTIN: Yup.
ART: Which is not helping us get away from Catholicism.
AUSTIN: Nope, it isn't.
[laughter]
ART: Uh, but that feels religious to me, right?
AUSTIN: Yeah, there’s no escaping it.
[beginning as crosstalk]
ART: But like, if he's a bishop, there's a cardinal, right? [unsure] Or... and, so, you know- I assume that that’s- we should talk about it. We should talk about this.
AUSTIN: We'll talk off, and I'll reincorporate it at some point. The next time we have a love letter, it'll be a place to do that.
ART: 'Cause for all I know, the next one goes right to the top. It's him and then it's, you know, king of the religion.
AUSTIN: Right. Uh... Throndir. Throndir?
DRE: Thorondir.
AUSTIN: Thorondir. [slightly different vowel sound] Thooor...ondir. 'Thaw'?
ART: [jokingly] Thrandir.
DRE: Thorondir.
[awkward laughter]
AUSTIN: You can... you can go ahead, Dre. Like- like what?
DRE: Do you want me to give background info on my character, or just go right into what we’re doing?
AUSTIN: No, no, not yet, let's save that for in-character stuff. This is gonna be a good episode for that, I think.
DRE (reading Love Letter): Thorondir, you fled these woods ages ago and swore to never come back. Not until things could change. What is it you miss most from your time living among the elves? And what is it that the council promised you to lead these men to the center of the Erasure?
DRE: Uhh... I think for Thorondir, the thing he misses the most is just, like, the ability to just feel normal, since he grew up in basically a compound of elves that was cut off from the rest of the world, like, that's the only life he's known until he left, so he never realized how different the world could be until he was just thrown right into the middle of it.
AUSTIN: Mhm.
DRE: So even though he's gotten more comfortable- and you know, he can take care of himself and he does fine- he still just feels like a person that just, like, that doesn't fit. He feels like a square peg in a round hole for most of the time that he is- for most of the time that he’s awake.
AUSTIN: And... the second part, which is-
DRE (reading Love Letter): What did the council promise you to lead these men to the center of the Erasure?
DRE: So the reason that Thorondir left his home was that, like most of the elves—and I think Nick has kind of already talked about this a little bit in a previous podcast—Since the post-post-apocalypse, elves don't live as long as they used to. And that was the same of the snow elves, where Thorondir is from.
DRE (CONT.): But something strange happened with his generation. So him and others who were born around the same time as him, where they- they age, they mature, they basically reach, I guess, elf puberty or whatever at the same rate as their, you know, as their ancestors, but they then stay younger for longer.
DRE (CONT.): And Thorondir left because he found out something was going on between his generation and the elders of the village that he just couldn't… he just couldn't equate in his brain. Like he had too much cognitive dissonance and he just- he was just overwhelmed and he bolted. So he wants to know: what is going on with him that makes him so different from the people that raised him?
AUSTIN: And the council's promised they can tell him that?
DRE: Yeah, they said they can help him figure out what's going on.
AUSTIN: Okay. Alright, so despite the fact that we're in beautiful Velas on the map screen that we're on, we are not there in reality. In reality, we have left behind the Garden, Fish, and Sun districts, we have walked out past the fields towards the Erasure. I'll pull up the big map for you guys now. [makes ka-chow! sound effect as he pulls up another map]
ART: Is Fish District really what we're calling that?
AUSTIN: Yup.
ART: Okay. I'm gonna teach these people so much about religion and about naming things...
AUSTIN: [laughs]
ART: That's my new quest. Where's my quest... thing?
AUSTIN: Are we- do you declare a new quest at this point?
ART: Uh, well, what are we doing?
AUSTIN: So the council has requested the help, again, of Fantasmo and Hadrian, and they've enlisted the aid of Thorondir- Tho-RON-dir? I'm never gonna say this right, and that's better- to head into the center of the Mark of the Erasure, which you might remember... there is a thing there, maybe, based on some events from the last game.
ART: Right, it's part of my-
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: Thorondir, I don't know that they tell you much about why, they just need someone to lead them there.
DRE: Yeah, they just need a guide.
ART: The fact that you described those things as 'plumbobs' is why I think at the end is why it's gonna turn out it was Janine.
AUSTIN: That's true. That's a good- that would be pretty good. Um... So, the- as you get closer and closer, I mean, you've walked past this area before, and I think it's probably common knowledge to know that the closer you get to the Erasure, the colder it gets. Um, you know, there are some fields in Velas, but this is a bunch of what would be great farming land that's ruined by the colder climates the closer you get to the Erasure. You also end up reaching a kind of a forested area that Thorondir's leading you through. Thorondir and his giant mastiff, named Kodiak.
DRE: Mhm. Yup.
AUSTIN: As you march through this unseasonably cold forest, 'cause you know, it's like, it's autumn now but it's starting to feel like it's deep, deep winter as you- as you step through these woods and as the snow starts to grow at your feet.
AUSTIN (CONT.): What do you- what do you look like? We haven't ever done character descriptions for anyone at this current table.
DRE: YEAH.
AUSTIN: So let's go reverse order this time, let's talk to Thorondir first. I imagine he's leading the party as the scout, as the guide.
DRE: Yeah, absolutely.
AUSTIN: So what's your... go ahead and give me your character description.
DRE: Um, is this based off of the Ranger character sheet?
AUSTIN: Yes. Start there and then go from there to also just whatever else you want to add.
DRE: Sure. Um... So, I-I see Thorondir as having kind of animal eyes, so almost kind of, like, almost like dog eyes. Like he's smart and he's skillful but he's also a little naive and a little probably overly trusting as well. Um, I imagine him having kind of wild hair, but not in, like, the cool- you know, you think of a ranger and you think of super-long, maybe even braided hair-
AUSTIN: Right.
DRE: I think of him more as, like, when a kid moves to college for the first time and decides like... I'm gonna grow a beard and I'm gonna grow my hair out because nobody can tell me different. So he's got kind of that hair, facial hair, going on-
NICK: Oh, so... me for the last, like... 8 years of my life, basically. [DRE laughs]
AUSTIN: Right. Yes.
DRE: Um... I would say he's probably wearing just traveling clothes, so stuff that will keep him warm, that is comfortable for him to move in, um- and I feel like his kind of body type, he's probably kind of got like, um, he looks strong but it's not like a bodybuilder strong. It's like the body of someone who does blue collar work, where you can tell they have strength but they're not, like, you know, poppin' out of their shirt or something like that.
AUSTIN: Right...
DRE: The one caveat that I have to that is that since moving to the city, Thorondir has become just obsessed with trying new foods, trying new drinks, so he's got a little bit of a chubby tummy.
AUSTIN: Little bit of a chubby tum?
DRE: Just because he's been eating anything and everything that he can get his hands on.
AUSTIN: Right, so yeah yeah yeah, definitely a blue collar worker feel I'm getting, because it’s like- he can work a hard day, but also, like, he can put back those chicken wings. [NICK laughs]
DRE: Yeah! Mhm. Absolutely.
ART: [sudden, loud hacking cough]
AUSTIN: Art is in the background dying currently.
DRE: [laughs loudly] Dying...
ART: Sorry...
AUSTIN: Uhhh-
ART: I think I caught Keith's cold? That doesn’t make sense.
AUSTIN: That's not possible. No.
DRE: That’s not how the internet works. You guys live on opposite coasts.
NICK: I mean- they're- viruses can be transmitted digitally. I mean, like, that's-
DRE: God damn it. [laughs]
AUSTIN: Oh boy... this is not... Nick, what's up with- how's Fantasmo look? How should we be picturing Fantasmo?
NICK: Ummm, well. The stuff on the character sheet that I have selected is, uh, ‘sharp eyes.’ So he's very, like, um- like, some would say cold, but really calculating and ever-alert is more accurate.
AUSTIN: Sure.
NICK: Um. His hair is- actually, his hair doesn't fit any of the options that were on the character sheet.
AUSTIN: Yeah! That's fair.
NICK: His hair is like a super light grey, almost white, but not quite. Um, and it's tied back in a ponytail, and he's got a pretty severe widow's peak.
AUSTIN: Okay.
NICK: [pause, thinking] And he's got, like, sort of longish, wispy eyebrows. Um... Uh, his [pause] no beard, though, at all. Like no beard or any facial hair period.
AUSTIN: Okay.
NICK: His robes look like they were probably really nice and expensive a hundred years ago.
AUSTIN: And now-
NICK: Now not so much. The colors are faded. There's a- like, hints of stains here and there. Things like spots of the robes that look like maybe there was something embroidered there at some point that has just completely come unraveled. [ART coughing in the background] And he is, um- [long pause] He has a very thin, frail body, like someone that spends more time shut up in a study reading instead of eating all of the meals that he probably should be.
AUSTIN: [laughs] That's fair. Art? If you're not dead. Are you back? Are you alright?
ART: Yeah, I- I muted my mic to cough a lot but it's all still on my Audacity, so Keith can decide whether or not he wants to keep me, dying....
AUSTIN: Yeah, it did not- it did not mute very much. Oh, you muted yourself on Skype, you're saying?
ART: Yeah, I Skype muted myself.
AUSTIN: Okay. I appreciate that.
ART: So hopefully you guys didn't hear me coughing during Nick's thing.
AUSTIN: No, we didn't during Nick's. Yeah. Uh-
ART: But it's on my file, like, the listeners could have heard me.
NICK: Yeah, I-
AUSTIN: We are giving Keith big homework.
NICK: I coughed a bunch, too, Keith, so be on the lookout for that. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Keith.
ART: Uh, yeah. I don’t know what’s happening.
AUSTIN: Welcome to Coughs at the Table. This is a podcast about coughing. I don't know how we're so popular, I don't know, I don't get it.
NICK: Man, what's your favorite coughing move, you guys?
[crosstalk]
ART: I remember-
NICK: I really like- I really like Roll Up.
ART: I like when you kinda like start it with like a little bit, like- [makes throat-clearing sound] and then you cough, 'cause I think it, like, lures your mucus into a false sense of security.
AUSTIN: Great.
NICK: I meant... Koffing, like the Pokemon.
DRE: I was under the assumption we were talking about the Pokemon Koffing-
NICK: [deep Koffing voice] Koffiiiing!
DRE: So if we could stay on track.
[long, awkward pause]
ART: No, I'm evolving into a Weezing, you guys.
AUSTIN: Oh, boy.
ART: That's happening right now.
AUSTIN: Alright, what's Hadrian look like?
ART: Alright, I think I did- I think I did these before?
AUSTIN: You might have, but let's go over them one more time just so people have an image in their head.
ART: Yeah yeah yeah, and I think I might be changing one of them, so-
AUSTIN: [amused] Okay.
ART: Everyone forget what you've heard. Uh... I think, I think I like- he has kind eyes, he has like an understanding face and he might not have like an understanding person behind that, but like, he looks like someone you could talk to. Uh, whether or not that just ends up with him like, being a dick to you is another thing, but like, he wants to care, he’s just not- it's just not there. I think he is always wearing his helmet, which is like, my hair choice.
AUSTIN: Mhm.
ART: But I want- I want to be sure to be clear that there is hair under there. The helmet's not like attached to his head.
AUSTIN: ...okay.
ART: And I think it's, it is like a short, like- crew-cut isn't right because that's not a- that’s not a thing, right?
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: But like, it is, it's short hair, it's close to the face- it's close to his head, it's not very fancy.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: It's, you know, an expression of devotion, almost.
NICK: What if he has a monk bowl cut underneath the helmet?
ART: [silence] [long pause] Well...
NICK: Nevermind. Sorry.
ART: I guess I'm pushing away from monk stuff because if Hadrian goes down, I'm coming back as a monk, and I don't wanna do all the same stuff twice. [laughter]
[crosstalk]
NICK: Oh, okay.
ART: I'm not leaving this religion. You're not taking me from it. [AUSTIN laughs] I've done too much work. You can kill him, but I'll just keep doing every religious character they've got. [laughter]
AUSTIN: Oh, boy.
ART: This is a threat, Austin.
AUSTIN: Okay, great. Good threat.
ART: His holy symbol is worn because it's probably very old, it probably dates back pre-Erasure.
AUSTIN: What's it look like?
ART: Uh, we’ve- we've talked about it a little bit. It's a ring that's in the shape of the crown.
AUSTIN: Right. Yes. We have talked about it.
ART: What just occurred to me, and I don't know how to reconcile this, is he probably wears- he probably wears gauntlets, right? He probably wears armored gloves.
AUSTIN: Yeah... Maybe- oh, maybe he's like one of those rad dudes from, um, 7th Sea? From like, the fake Germany in 7th Sea, do you remember those guys?
ART: Yeah, who have the, the big hand?
AUSTIN: They have one big gauntlet. And like, the other hand is free. But they like- they grab stuff with that gauntlet and break it. 7th Sea is real cool.
[crosstalk]
ART: 7th Sea is real cool.
AUSTIN: Maybe you have one hand- maybe one of your hands doesn't have the gauntlet on it. So that you can wear the ring and show your- maybe there's like a weird religious significance to that.
ART: Sure. Uh, other things I thought of was, there could just be one gauntlet that's missing the-
AUSTIN: The ring finger?
ART: The ring finger...
DRE: Mm. That’s cool.
ART: But that sounds dangerous.
AUSTIN: Yeah, it sounds like you’d get that finger caught between that metal, and that would be bad.
ART: Yeah. Or maybe it's that the ring is just large enough to be on the gauntlet?
AUSTIN: That's super silly. I mean, that's- it might be okay? But it's super silly.
DRE: What if it's, like, inlaid on the, uh, on the gauntlet? Like it's infused in the gauntlet?
AUSTIN: The problem with that becomes- [crosstalk with ART, indistinct] Go ahead.
ART: Uh, if he's not wearing armor.
AUSTIN: If he's not wearing armor-
[crosstalk]
ART: Which is probably a thing. I think, of those, I like maybe that, like- I don't know how that would work, but what if there's just like- what if from the... How do we count knuckles? From like the second knuckle?
AUSTIN: Uh-huuuuh?
ART: To the third knuckle... there's just no armor on his right hand.
AUSTIN: [pause] ...wait, from the second...?
ART: Alright. So the first knuckle is- okay, so end of your finger, fingernail, first knuckle-
AUSTIN: Uh-huh. So wait, you're saying that he has fingertip armor on, and then missing armor for a ring?
ART: Alright. I guess you're right, that doesn't make sense. I was thinking of, like, ways it could connect and I'm not comin' up with it.
AUSTIN: [loud laugh] Okay! As long- I mean- maybe it has a weird strap on the bottom. I don't know.
ART: No, I guess- I guess- I guess it's just there's just a finger with no armor.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: And I think his faith protects him from getting his finger torn up from the armored fingers next to it.
AUSTIN: [amused] Great. Uh, is it his ring finger that it's on? Is it his left hand or his right hand?
ART: Uh, it's his right ring finger.
AUSTIN: Okay, sounds good. Ah... alright. Let's-
ART: 'Cause he's not, like, married to his, to his god. Right. That's-
AUSTIN: Right, right.
ART: We're talking about nuns now. Which is what my third character will be, when you kill my monk.
AUSTIN: [laughs] Okay. So I'm gonna start off, you know, you've been making this trek for a little while now. We kind of ruled last week, when we were recording with Jack, Ali, and uh- Keith, that each square on this map was about a day's travel at full pace. Or actually I guess we decided that for ocean travel, not for day travel. Day travel will be slower. Uh... I think like 2- 2 days? Per block. What do you think?
ART: Per square?
AUSTIN: Per square, yeah.
ART: Uh, cutting diagonally?
AUSTIN: We were talking about cutting the diameter. Going through a thing. Which I guess diagonally would- is diagonally in a square the same as one of its sides, or is that longer? I don't remember how that works.
ART: It's longer 'cause it's the hypotenuse of the triangle.
AUSTIN: Oh, right, yeah. Yeah, okay. Um-
ART: But it's not a lot longer. Especially here.
AUSTIN: Yeah, 'cause it's a square... It's a right angle.
ART: We're saying it's one day, and that, that uh- that doesn't help...it'd be, room to-
AUSTIN: Well let's just pick... let's just pick the diameter distance of walking first. How- how many days do you think it takes to get across one of these squares? Do you think it's, like, 2 days? Do you think it's like 3 days?
ART: Well, here's the thing. This is supposed to be big, right?
AUSTIN: Yes.
ART: Then a day's too short.
AUSTIN: Yeah, I know. Let's, let’s- I think it helps us stay a little, um- it's supposed to be big but it's still supposed to be traversable. This is one of the things that we talked about a lot; I listened to that first podcast a bunch.
ART: Well, I guess, like, a person can walk about 25 miles in a day if that's what they're fuckin' doing.
AUSTIN: Right, right, that's what I'm saying. This is about just- it's all you're doing, is traveling.
ART: Okay, and this cont- from Velas to clear across the continent is 15 boxes?
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ART: 15 times 25 is... 375 miles. That's not- that’s not big enough, right?
AUSTIN: Three thou- wait, three hundred, you said?
ART: Yeah.
AUSTIN: [realizing] Yeah, that's probably not big enough. Um, let's say, then, that that's- right, so we're-
ART: 'Cause then we're looking at, like, Massachusetts.
AUSTIN: Right. You're definitely not walking a whole block in a day. I'm saying you're walking at least 2 or- 2, 3, 4 days, then? 5 days?
ART: I would say 3 to 4.
AUSTIN: What if we just say- what if we say 5 and it's a business week?
ART: [laughs] There we go, yeah, perfect.
AUSTIN: Also, it's a nice even number so we can go 5, 10, whatever.
ART: Or we can be like... it takes a week. Because you can't really walk 25 miles a day for a week. You're gonna need some time off there.
AUSTIN: Mhm. Okay.
ART: And that's a little better. Now we're getting to a real size.
AUSTIN: That sounds good to me. I really just wanted to have something in my mind for this next bit where I said: you've been traveling, then, for a certain amount of time... And that certain amount of time now is, let's say two to three days. You've cleared Velas, cleared easily, you've passed through the fields and you've entered into these woods, um, I'm calling them the Algid Pinelands, which I think is what Velas calls them, probably? I don't know what the snow elves call them, or the other inhabitants of these woods.
AUSTIN (CONT.): Let's- let’s start off by figuring out how well you're doing going into these woods. We're gonna undertake a Perilous Journey, which, when you travel through hostile territory, choose one member of the party to act as a trailblazer, one to scout ahead, and one to be quartermaster. The same character cannot have two jobs. Each character will do a job. Roll plus Wis; on a 10+, the quartermaster reduces the amount of rations required by 1. On a 10+, the trailblazer reduces the amount of time it takes to reach your destination (the GM says by how much). And on a 10+, the scout will spot any trouble quick enough to let you get the drop on it. Who's-
ART: Okay, here's the thing.
AUSTIN: Yeah?
ART: Uh, we're, we’re talking about this, right?
NICK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Yup.
ART: So there's, like, the lore thing, right? Where we would want the ranger- I'm, I'm guessing that-
DRE: Well, hold on. Here's the other thing that you should know. Since I'm an elf, my racial ability as a ranger is that whenever I undertake a Perilous Journey, whatever job I take I succeed as if I rolled a 10+, every time.
ART: That's great. Uh, so I think scouting is what we want best at, right? 'Cause that's, like-
DRE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Mhm.
ART: Rations, I don't know about y'all, but I think I'm swimming in rations right now.
DRE: I got- I got food for days.
AUSTIN: Do you? How many rations do you guys have?
DRE: I have 5.
ART: I have 6.
AUSTIN: Okay. That's not that many.
DRE: Well... okay.
AUSTIN: We should, we should- that's not that many. [DRE laughs] Do you want to have bought some more rations, now that we understand it's a week- over a week there and over a week back?
ART: Oh, yeah...
NICK: Is 1 ration 1 day of food?
AUSTIN: Yeah, you use a ration to heal up at camp, basically, or to- you need to eat- the thing is, I guess you could ration it. You know. You could eat half a ration per day.
ART: Oh, wait, we never figured out what my quest was.
AUSTIN: No, we didn't.
ART: Like we started a conversation that was going that way...
AUSTIN: And that was before we were recording, even, I think, so- Are you keeping this quest, since this is another thing Velas is sending you on?
ART: No, because my quest was to discover the truth of that tower. That quest is definitely over. Unless, unless-
AUSTIN: Okay. I thought it was broader than that; I thought it was about protecting Velas.
DRE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Um, but-
ART: No, 'protect' isn't an option.
AUSTIN: Oh, right, right, there's a very specific 'discover the truth of,' right. Um... yeah! So are you now discovering the truth of the Erasure? 'Cause that's a biggun.
ART: Well, that's- that's a big one. I'd, I’d have to pick some good shit for that.
AUSTIN: You can also have it to do with your own personal stuff, at this point. You definitely have enough story hooks going on with the dreams you've been having, your relationship with your- with your prelate, to... think of something there.
ART: Well, here's the thing. I have three choices. There's three things I can do: ‘slay blank, a great bane on the land,’ and y'know, the only person I can say that is Fantasmo, and that's not good.
AUSTIN: Jeez!
NICK: What?
ART: Like, that's not a good game.
AUSTIN: #shotsfired! Y'all are in a bad place. We should note that, Thorondir, you definitely notice that Fantasmo and Hadrian- [DRE: There’s some tension going on…] there's some tension. Maybe. You're not sure why.
ART (continuing to read from his playbook): ‘Defend blank from the iniquities that beset them.’
AUSTIN: Mhm.
ART: And I can- I guess that could be... that could be Velas, right?
AUSTIN: Yeah, but this is definitely not, like- ‘hey, go check out this thing we think is there!’ is not defending it from iniquities, right?
ART: Right... And then there's ‘discover the truth of blank.’ But if I say ‘discover the truth of the Erasure,’ that like... that's... that's some long-term shit.
AUSTIN: It is. It is. But so would, like, ‘discover the truth of Samothes,’ right?
ART: Right. So yeah, I guess that's what I should- and I mean, I just took my new power, which is while I'm on a quest I get +1d4 damage. So like, picking a long-term quest is fine with me, but like-
AUSTIN: You could also do- you could also do, if you wanted to be more, like, focused on the, um, the campaign it could be to discover the truth of that tower and other facilities like it, right. Other places like it that you are just getting- the truth of that map you found, with all of the markings, including the one that you're headed towards now.
ART: Sure. There's also the- it says that I can't abandon a quest.
AUSTIN: You could abandon a quest, but let's say that like... Samothes would notice.
ART: Yeah. Or like-
AUSTIN: The prelate would notice.
ART: Or like, I don't know what the, the, like- discover the truth- I don't know, it's all so-
AUSTIN: Yeah, I know. This is the-
ART: It's philosophical.
AUSTIN: It is. It is.
ART: Alright, I'll say I'm discovering the truth of the Er- of, how about just the Mark of the Erasure?
AUSTIN: Sure. That's better. Because then you're talking about a specific place and not the event, the Erasure, that... struck this world hundreds of years ago, yeah.
ART: Yeah. That could be until I die.
AUSTIN: Yeah, cool. Alright. And what's your two boons?
ART: Okay. Because we're talking about food, and how long it is, I can choose freedom from hunger, thirst, and sleep. I can also choose an unwavering sense of direction, and then we can just like... fuck all of this. [AUSTIN and DRE laugh] But I won't because that's not fun.
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: Aw. I sure loved having a voice that transcends language. That was fuckin' great.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ART: Uh, mark of divine authority... senses that pierce lies... invulnerability to blank...
AUSTIN: For example: edged weapons, fire, enchantment, et cetera. That's really good.
ART: Yeah. That's really good, but again, it feels like cheating.
AUSTIN: No, no-
DRE: It does get super cold in the Erasure.
AUSTIN: It does get super cold in the Erasure.
ART: Right. Um. Invulnerability to cold... I don't know. We're not freezing to death. I'm not freezing to death- that ain’t happening -
AUSTIN: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why do you think it's not happening?
ART: Because I'm... I'm a badass, I'm not freezin, that's not how badasses go down.
AUSTIN: Ohh.
DRE: Art, I would say probably before we left, one of the things that Thorondir warned you about was tales of people trying to journey into the Mark when he was a kid and the snow elves basically having to drag their near-frozen carcasses, like, out of the Erasure and back to safety. It gets friggin' cold there.
ART: Alright, I'll take freedom from hunger, thirst, and sleep, and I'll take invulnerability to cold.
AUSTIN: Okay. [DRE laughs] ‘The GM will then tell you what vow or vows are required to maintain your blessing.’ Hm. [long pause] Hmmmmm. [longer pause] [takes a deep breath]
ART: There are some good ones here, dude.
AUSTIN: Yeaaah. There are. So I have a list. There are some good ones here, especially with- with regard to… How do you know this?
[crosstalk]
ART: On just the record, my third choice would have been a mark of divine authority.
AUSTIN: Yeah, that's a good one.
AUSTIN (CONT.): How do you know what your vow is? Do you, do you- how do you know which vow to take?
ART: I think- I think it's this weird thing where it's, like, you're picking it-
AUSTIN: Right right right.
ART: But really I'm picking it. Right?
AUSTIN: Right, but you're picking it- I'm wondering how you know to pick it, as a character. How do you, how does Hadrian, when it swells up inside of him- that vow- does he feel that he has control over that vow or does it come from somewhere- past him?
ART: I think, and this is like, this is philosophical in a way that I don't know this religion would be but I think it's, like, the brush knows the way, right?
AUSTIN: Right. Right.
ART: Like, how do you know? Because that's- because that's what it was. Because that's what I said, you know, it's my... When I was doing it- when I was preparing myself for this quest, I was, I was flooded with divine inspiration and then I knew. I knew what my vow was.
AUSTIN: I'm torn between two.
ART: You could just give me both. It says 'vows.'
AUSTIN: Oh. It does. 'Hospitality'-
ART: But then you have to, like- decide how important it is, right?
AUSTIN: Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
ART: You know how big a deal hunger, thirst, sleep, and cold are gonna be.
AUSTIN: Yeah, I do. I do. I do. Uh, 'hospitality. Required: comfort to those in need, no matter who they are.'
ART: Okay.
AUSTIN: And 'valor. Suffering an evil creature to live.'
ART: Oh, you fucker, I know what you're gonna do.
AUSTIN: I don't, I don't- I don't know what I'm gonna do yet. [DRE laughs]
ART: You're not gonna make me give hospitality to an evil creature?
AUSTIN: I'm... not planning on it? Like I have, I have- you know. That's not really how I... Like, these are cool things in my toolbox now. Do you know what I mean?
ART: Yup.
AUSTIN: Uh, that's how I do.
ART: Uh-huh. 'Comfort to those in need no matter who they are.'
AUSTIN: Before we- yup.
ART: And 'forbidden suffering an evil creature to live'?
AUSTIN: Right. Yeah, sorry. Should've been more clear.
ART: Okay, but back to- back to figuring out the Perilous Journey part.
AUSTIN: [laughs] Yes, the thing that we're actually doing. Now you don't have to eat or sleep. Or drink.
ART: Right, which makes me a good- good at several things, but not a lot of things here.
DRE: Uh, well I think- I think I'll take the scout roll.
ART: I think that's a good idea.
AUSTIN: That leaves Quartermaster aaaand... da-da-da, what's the- Trailblazer. [pause] Trailblazer makes you go faster, Quartermaster lets you... eat less.
ART: It's weird if the guy who doesn't have to eat is the Quartermaster, right? Like that just feels weird.
AUSTIN: No, no, no, that affects every- oh, oh. I see what you're saying. Yes. That would- that does feel weird.
ART: I don't have to eat, but here's what you get. No, no, no, don't eat so much. Come on.
AUSTIN: [laughs] Yeah... yeah, that's fair. So, Nick, are you cool with being the Trailblazer?
NICK: Uhh, yeah. What is that? Wait.
[sound of pages flipping]
ART: Oh wait, no, I was saying being Quarterma- I was saying I think I should be Trailblazer because being Quartermaster would be freakin' weird.
AUSTIN: Oh oh oh, I thought you were saying ‘I'll be the Quartermaster even though…’ Et cetera. That's fine.
NICK: I mean, I think, like, you know- character-wise it makes way more sense for Fantasmo to be in the back counting the stock than... out there.
AUSTIN: That's fair.
ART: Yeah.
NICK: Cuttin' through the...
AUSTIN: Cutting- yeah.
DRE: Although at the same time, as the Trailblazer you could be, like, poring over maps. Although I guess that's, is that- that's not as much your thing, right?
NICK: Yeah, no, I don't-
DRE: Those aren't the kind of books that Fantasmo's interested in-
NICK: I don't care about maps.
AUSTIN: Right.
NICK: I'd rather not be going anywhere.
ART: Because I can see Hadrian in his big stupid armor. Wandering through the brush.
AUSTIN: [tired-sounding] Mhm.
DRE: [laughing] Your giant armor just banging against everything.
ART: Oh, I didn't cover that in his appearance... I think he's big. Like I think Hadrian's tall and I think he's wide.
AUSTIN: I would, uh, I'd believe that. That's a thing I would believe.
DRE: Every morning you put on your huge thing of scale armor to go tromping through the woods and Thorondir just rolls his eyes and is like, I'm just gonna- I'm just gonna go scout ahead, I'll see you all later.
AUSTIN: [laugh]
ART: No, no, no, I'm doing it. I'm walking in all this metal through the woods. Things know to get out of my way.
NICK: Yeah, it- And you're also, like-
[crosstalk]
DRE: Sure.
[crosstalk]
ART: That's what's happening.
NICK: You don't even need to cut through most of the underbrush.
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: Okay, let's-
NICK: You're just trampling it. You're a damn tank. Like, just flattening the forest as you move through it.
ART: In what order do you want us to make these rolls?
AUSTIN: Do 'em all at once. So you know Dre's is a 10, we know that Thorondir has successfully scouted...
NICK: Um. I have a, I have a, a fun suggestion, though.
DRE: Oh boy, Art.
ART: Oh, I fucked it up.
NICK: Can I, uh-
AUSTIN: Uh-huh?
NICK: Dre, don't roll yet-
AUSTIN: Dre isn't rolling at all, is the thing.
NICK: Oh. He's not?
AUSTIN: His elf move lets him just automatically get a 10.
NICK: Ohh, right, okay.
AUSTIN: At any of these. Yeah, yeah. Which is- which is super useful.
ART: Specifically with how bad I- [indistinct] with how bad I just did.
AUSTIN: Yup!
DRE: Uh, we also, we never finished talking about rations.
AUSTIN: We didn't. Um, largely-
[crosstalk]
DRE: I would say that-
AUSTIN: Yeah, go ahead.
DRE: Thorondir probably, like, when they asked him to scout out, he would say we need X amount of food to cover this journey.
AUSTIN: Right. Again, I think it's- I think, again, I'm not- ah- when you settle into camp, whenever you make camp, you consume a ration. Like that's how you do the Make Camp move.
DRE: Mhm.
AUSTIN: I feel like, yeah, you could go days without make- quote-unquote using the 'make camp' move and still sleeping and stuff, and not healing, but after a couple of days you're gonna, you're going to start, um, taking some effect to that, like you'll get the 'weak' or 'shaky' debilities. You know what I mean?
DRE: Mhm.
AUSTIN: So you might be able to spread those rations out, let's say. Like okay, you'll eat every other day. You'll eat a full meal every other day or you'll eat a half-meal every day.
NICK: Why don't we just all-
AUSTIN: Or whatever.
NICK: Why don't we just buy some more before we leave. How about we just make it simpler.
AUSTIN: You could also do that.
DRE: Well, I don't have- I don't- I don't know how much money I have, because it doesn't talk about money during the character creation.
AUSTIN: Well, if it doesn't for you, that means you don't have any. Other- other people def do.
DRE: Well- we just got a bunch of cash, though, right?
AUSTIN: You did just get a bunch of cash.
ART: Yeah.
AUSTIN: You guys did just wind up with 50 gold coin each and then, uhh, and then, ah, Fantasmo got another twenty...five? From the council. To be clear, the gold that you retrieved from the tower, the thing that makes that special isn't that it's worth more. It's that you can use it anywhere. The kind of scrip that you have from Velas, this kind of like- these little bone, like... rings, kind of like a bronze-age coinage, you can only use that in Velas and maybe Ordenna, like, places that have a working relationship with Velas. But if you wind up down in Rosemerrow they- they don't give a fuck. If you talk to the New Archives, like, they want gold.
NICK: Okay.
AUSTIN: Or, or they want their local currency, but what's good about the gold is that you can- you can use that anywhere.
NICK: Sure. So wait, so we got 50 coins...
AUSTIN: 50 gold coins.
NICK: 50 gold coins, oh, okay.
AUSTIN: Yes. Yes. Uh, and I'm confirming, Dre, you don't have any, any-
DRE: Yeah, I just double-checked.
ART: Uh, rangers have some kind of, like, survival-y move, or like, hey, you can eat, 'cause you're- you know what berries are... not... poisonous.
DRE: [laughs] Um... I don't, I don't think so? I'm looking and I don't, I don't see that. Umm...
ART: I believe Hadrian would see it as his-
DRE: That's the human, um, the human ranger skillset-
AUSTIN: Right, right-
DRE: When you make camp, you don't have to consume a ration.
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: Alright. Uh, I think Hadrian would see it as part of his, you know, responsibility to make sure-
AUSTIN: That you guys had the rations. So you're gonna buy-
ART: Well, that at least- that, that everyone who's not Fantasmo is not going to starve.
NICK: [dry laugh] Great.
AUSTIN: Geeeez.
NICK: Thanks, buddy.
ART: Well, no, it's also just like, I know Fantasmo just got paid, right?
NICK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Yeah, that's true. That's true.
ART: Like, I'm here to save lives, I'm not here to save people money.
NICK: What's, uh- alright, fair enough. Um...
AUSTIN: That's, uh, that's fair.
NICK: How much- how much are rations?
AUSTIN: Oh right, that's... that is what I was looking up just now.
NICK: Oh, okay.
AUSTIN: Um, they aaaare... 3 coins. So that's, I think that's-
ART: Per ration?
AUSTIN: Per ration, which comes with 5 uses.
DRE: Okay.
AUSTIN: So 3 coins for 5 uses. That's- that's cheap.
ART: Yeah, that's real cheap.
AUSTIN: Y'all got that. In general, I kind of feel like prices are higher in most of the world, but I think Velas is like a good baseline city for all these prices. Like, I kind of like it being the, the status quo, like, book prices.
ART: And as a fishing city they would probably have reasonably cheap rations.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ART: They probably taste terrible because they're probably, like, salt cod and shit-
AUSTIN: Yup.
ART: But y'know. We’re on the road.
DRE: Just a whole bunch of sardines. That's all we're eatin'.
AUSTIN: Uh, you could also buy a personal feast, which is 1 use for 10 gold.
NICK: Uh... how m- how heavy is that?
[long pause followed by general laughter]
AUSTIN: It's 1 weight. It's also 1 weight. It is kind of the best. It is kind of the best.
NICK: I'm gonna buy one one use of rations and one personal feast.
[crosstalk]
ART: We're just gonna have, like, a woods feast- [DRE laughs]
AUSTIN: I love it. I love it. It's one of my favorite things about this book now. Because it comes right after dungeon rations, which are 5 uses for 3 coins and also 1 weight, and this next- the personal feast is just not as good, right? On paper. And that's Dungeon World communicating to the reader, like, nonononono- like, this game is not about balance, right, like we're not here to- like, it's an ostentatious feast, but that's the important part.
NICK: Right.
AUSTIN: The thing that it is is important. We can do stuff with that.
NICK: So...
AUSTIN: When we, well, when you eat it, I'm gonna ask you what's in it. Start giving it- giving it some thought.
NICK: That actually puts me- that puts me at 1 over my load, but that just means that I'm gonna have to, like, juggle my Invisible Servant carrying my books and stuff.
AUSTIN: What do you mean...
ART: I think your Invisible Servant should absolutely carry your ostentatious feast.
NICK: Well, I mean- he'll be serving it to me. You know, when the, when the time comes, but, you know, no, he carries the books. That's his job. Yeah. That's his job.
AUSTIN: That's his job? Yeah?
NICK: He carries the books.
AUSTIN: So, in other words, is he okay, though? Right now? So is he holding- all of your-
NICK: Yeah, yeah, yeah-
AUSTIN: Are you over-
NICK: No, I'm not overencumbered.
AUSTIN: So you're not over encumbrance.
NICK: Because I gave him the books, which is 2 weight, and he can carry 3.
AUSTIN: Mhm. Awesome. Okay. So... Art's roll failed. Nick, do you wanna give me yours?
NICK: Sure. Oh wait! Oh. But also, though, I wanted to do- I wanted to do this fun thing, um, I wanted to-
AUSTIN: Oh, what's your fun thing?
NICK: I wanted to cast Telepathy and create a connection between me and Thorondir so that if he sees somebody, he can just send a message back to me right away.
AUSTIN: Good call.
DRE: Oh, nice.
NICK: And maybe we can get, like, a +1, I don't know, like, how that would manifest. We can get a jump on whoever it is easier... Like, get some extra time...
AUSTIN: That's cool. I'm into that. I'm into that.
NICK: Um...
AUSTIN: One second, I have to plug in a thing.
NICK: Okay.
AUSTIN: I'll be right back.
DRE: So what kind of, uh, what kind of brain conversations are we having between, uh, Thorondir and Fantasmo?
NICK: Um. Probably, I'm guessing, probably a lot of Thorondir asking Fantasmo a bunch of questions and Fantasmo just... yeah.
DRE: Harrumphing.
NICK: Maybe grumpily answering some of them and others just, like, you know.
NICK (as Fantasmo): I'll tell you when you're older.
NICK: Or something like that.
DRE: Yeah. Yeah, no, because, I mean, you're like, you're the first non-snow elf that like, he has gotten to spend time with.
[crosstalk]
NICK: Yeah.
DRE: So he is probably just full of questions, like, and they're probably, like, really mundane questions like- 'How old are you?'
NICK: [laughs] Yeah.
DRE: ‘Where are you from?’ Like, ‘do we write letters the same?’- like just, like really, like, stuff that to Fantasmo would just seem, like, super mundane and obvious.
[crosstalk]
NICK: Yeah-
ART: I think Fantasmo does like, the- 'oh, the reception's really bad' gimmick a lot. [DRE and NICK laugh] Like, ‘oh I can't hear you, the telepathy is breaking up!’
DRE: Goin' through a tunnel!
ART: It’s like, wait a minute...
AUSTIN: Oh. That's not how telepathy works.
NICK (as Fantasmo): There are a lot of bugs in this area of the woods! It's breaking my concentration!
DRE: But you know what? Thorondir would buy it.
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: Yup.
DRE: He would totally buy it hook, line, and sinker. Every time.
ART: None of us know how magical telepathy works!
DRE: Yeah, seriously.
ART: Oh yeah, bugs. Bugs fuck it up. Sure.
AUSTIN: Um, alright, so now-
NICK: Oh yeah, I'm gonna roll my-
AUSTIN: Fantasmo, go ahead and do your- your roll...
NICK: My Wis... 9.
DRE: Nice.
AUSTIN: That's, that's good. That means that you use the amount of rations as, as expected. So let's say 9 days, diagonally, does that seem fair? 10?
NICK: Sure.
AUSTIN: Let's say-
ART: Uhh... It would actually be, uh- ...do you... want me to do math?
AUSTIN: I don't... care. Enough.
ART: Okay.
AUSTIN: [laughs]
DRE: [louder laugh] Austin Walker GM philosophy: Iiiii don't care enough.
AUSTIN: I'm actually checking now, though, 'cause now I suddenly- I suddenly started caring. 'Cause I'm the worst.
ART: It's, it's about- it's about- it's about 10, it's just under 10.
AUSTIN: It's just under- okay, so my gut was right, I should've just gone with my gut. Uh... so, yeah, 9 to 10 days, depending on the speed of your travel and stuff, um, and the-
ART: [rolling on Roll20] But I fucked that right up.
AUSTIN: You did! Uh, and you were the Trailblazer, which means that, in fact, it's gonna take you 2 weeks now. Instead of 9 or 10 days.
ART: Woo! Uh... woof. We, we uh, we took a detour. We're probably in another box for a while.
[beginning as crosstalk]
AUSTIN: The good news is that Hadrian doesn't need to eat. Ah, and Nick succeeded at his roll, meaning, uh, or Fantasmo succeeded as a, as a Quartermaster, meaning that's still not gonna take up all of your rations. Mark down 3 uses of rations taken before we get to the next, like, before I start narrating some more, but mark down the 3 uses for now of rations.
DRE: How many, uh, how many rations did uh, Hadrian give me?
ART: Uh, 5?
DRE: Okay.
AUSTIN: Mm. 5-
ART: 5 times 5 uses...
AUSTIN: Okay, so 25. That's 5 weight, so mark that.
DRE: Oh, god, that's more than I can carry.
ART: I can carry some of it.
AUSTIN: Split those up. Make sure you're right on that before we move on, because otherwise it'll- it would, and should, come into use, right; it should come into effect if you're, like, stocking up on rations.
DRE: What if you gave me 2 rations so I had 10 extra uses.
AUSTIN: And then Hadrian carry the remaining 3?
DRE: Yeah. So then I'd be down to 12 uses.
ART: Alright, I have- I have 7 weight available.
AUSTIN: Okay, so you could just carry 'em all.
ART: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Or just split them up like... like Dre said.
ART: Yeah, sure.
NICK: Just wrote down my feast on my character sheet as Fancy Feast.
AUSTIN: [pause, then laughs] Sure. Is that what it is? That you're- a cat elf?
NICK: I mean- we both got ears.
DRE: Oh, god.
AUSTIN: Oh boy. Yeah. Yeah.
ART: Here comes the fanart!
AUSTIN: Yup, here comes that catboy Fantasmo art. Whoops, let me make that my-
AUSTIN (CONT.): Okay. So you've been, you've been walking through the woods for days now. Uh, you, as you get closer and closer it does get colder and colder. You pass by, you know, um, trees that have uh, clearly stopped growing at this point, frozen in place, though there are some pines and stuff that do well. The ones that are frozen come from a different time. Um, they're trees that seem to have been, like, flash-frozen from when this place wasn't so cold, from when it wasn't the world it is now. [pause]
AUSTIN (CONT.): Um... Dre, at some point- Thorondir, when you're scouting ahead, ah, you see across- so you're up on top of, like, a hill, and you're looking down into a valley, and you see a number of small figures chasing after some sort of big brown beast.
DRE: Oh, geez.
AUSTIN: Probably, you know, probably one of the animals that has, you know, fur thick enough to live in weather like this.
DRE: Mhm.
AUSTIN: Probably some sort of herbivore that they hope to eat. They're kind of at a far distance, but you can just make out their shape; they're thin, wiry, short, kind of leathery brownish-green skin...
DRE: Oh boy.
AUSTIN: Some of them have bows and some of them are throwing spears at this thing. There's lots of shouting. They don't- they have not seen you, to be clear.
DRE: Umm, if I wanted to, like, would that be a, a Spout Lore to see if Thorondir would, like, recognize these creatures, or would that be a Discern Realities?
AUSTIN: That would be a Spout Lore, I think, in this case, right? Discern Realities is about, is about, like, sitting down- or not sitting down but, like, carefully looking over an area. If you wanted to go down there in ten minutes and examine where they were hunting, that would be Discern Realities. But this, I think, would be a Spout Lore.
DRE: Okay. Uh, so that's- a 2d6 plus Intelligence modifier?
AUSTIN: Yup.
DRE: Okay. Uhhh, 9.
AUSTIN: On a 9, the GM will tell you something interesting. It's on you to make it useful.
DRE: Okay.
AUSTIN: Those are definitely goblins.
DRE: Aaah.
AUSTIN: Those are definitely goblins. And you've run into them here and there in your time, um, I don't know what sort of relationship you've had with them, but you've definitely grown up hearing different things about them.
AUSTIN (CONT.): You've definitely heard up- grown up, I think- mostly hearing about their savagery and about how they eschew civilization, they eschew the organized life. Um, in favor of being wild. Lots of, like- it might even be like a, a, um, not just a slur but, like, the sort of thing the snow elf parents tell the snow elf children, like, 'you're being a real goblin right now!' [DRE laughs] 'Put it back! Put it back!'
[beginning as crosstalk]
DRE: Yeah. Or they would tell you goblin stories to make sure you did your chores, right-
AUSTIN: Right, exactly. Exactly.
DRE: 'Cause goblins come and get snow elf children who don't behave.
AUSTIN: Exactly. Yeah, both. Both of those things. Yeah.
DRE: Yeah. Uh, if I wanted to know what the big furry brown creature was, would that be a second Spout Lore check?
AUSTIN: Uh, no, you just, uh- I didn't have a cool fantasy name for, like, um... like, a wildebeest. For like a snow wildebeest. But that's what it is.
ART: Snowdebeest.
AUSTIN: Ah, yup. Snowdebeest. A snowdebeest.
DRE: Snowdebeest.
AUSTIN: You probably don't have a good name for it, like, in the common tongue, so I could hear- I could definitely hear Thorondir saying 'oh that's a... that's a, oh, what would you call it- that's a snowdebeest.' Definitely.
ART: And they wouldn't know that was, like, felt like a weird reggae word, 'cause they don't have reggae.
[pause for general laughter]
AUSTIN: Yes they do.
DRE: You don't know about my snow elf culture. You don't know.
AUSTIN: Ahhh. I'm not doing a patois. Don't do a patois.
ART: [laughs] I wasn't going to!
AUSTIN: Okay, good-
ART: But I was like, yeah, you know, we're like- we're like a snow people but we also have, like, a really tropical-associated music from the real world.
AUSTIN: From the human world.
DRE: We journeyed from a far land... on a sled...
AUSTIN: Oh, boy. Oh, brother.
DRE: [still laughing] So I think, you know, in my- I use my telepathy to radio back to Fantasmo and be like,
DRE (as Thorondir): We have- there's a goblin hunting party up ahead. There's 4 of 'em, they're chasing something right now, so we can either move around them, or we can try and take them on and take their supplies. Goblins are- are hoarders, so they might have something useful if we decide we wanna try and take them on.
NICK: Umm. I share this info with Hadrian. Uhh. And then, uh-
ART (as Hadrian): Huh.
NICK: Fantasmo says- [clears throat]-
NICK (as Fantasmo): I'd rather go around them, myself.
[long pause]
ART: Yeah, that- I don't want- I don't want any un- [sighs] I don't wanna... get into trouble right now. We've been lost here for a long time. I’m so bad at this.
[general laughter]
DRE: You're just tired, you don't even wanna deal-
AUSTIN: Yeah!
DRE: You can't even deal with goblins right now.
ART: Like, I'm pretty tired for a person who magically doesn't need to sleep.
AUSTIN: [laughs] You definitely- with that decision made, you definitely end up circling back here, like, two hours later- uh, and, and Thorondir, you know this because you find that same hill and see that goblin hunting party walking back the other way through the valley with, like- carrying the felled beast on their shoulders. [pause]
AUSTIN (CONT.): Yeah, it's not going well. In general, what's the tone of this trip like for you all? I know that again, when we left the tower there was some- there was some, you know, intensity, let's say, regarding Hadrian and Fantasmo. Has that continued?
NICK: Um-
[crosstalk]
ART: It’s all been great.
NICK: As far as Fantasmo's concerned, y'know, whatever, we just need to get- like, he doesn't understand why Hadrian's so upset about it. It's a book, and I'm a wizard. I have to have the book, like what- what's the big deal?
DRE: [laughs]
AUSTIN: Do you guys-
[crosstalk]
ART: And I-
AUSTIN: Go ahead.
ART: And I think Hadrian is like, like- I'm stuck, right? Like, this is where I was told to go and Fantasmo's here. Like, what am I gonna do, like- I'm not gonna- I'm not gonna hurt him. I'm not gonna leave him. You know, it... He's here; I have to be here, this is- this is a command from my superiors, to, to investigate this. He's- he’s really smart, he knows a lot of stuff, he could help do this, but like, I sure hope the next time they order me to go somewhere, it's with other people.
NICK: And-
AUSTIN: Um-
ART: You know, no offense intended, but like-
[crosstalk]
NICK: Fantasmo doesn't care. He's not here to make friends. He's got a job to do.
[crosstalk]
ART: You know, where's that- where's that- where's that druid that hates me?
[general laughter]
ART: Or Hella! You know, like Hella... I'm friendly with that evil person. Who do I like here? [DRE laughs]
AUSTIN: I don't know! I think- I'm not- I'm honestly... more and more not very sure. Um- [long pause] Good- good question.
DRE: So are you like, are you like trying to buddy-buddy up with Thorondir 'cause it's, like, your last chance of having a friend?
ART: I think so, yeah, like that might be where I'm at now, like, please be a good person. Please? Please end up… realizing my religion is the one true faith.
DRE: [still laughing]
[beginning as crosstalk]
AUSTIN: Do you guys, like- Do you, do you talk about what happened to the- at the tower, to Thorondir at all?
ART: I think as much, like, when we're making camp and stuff?
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ART: Like, I think I'm sensitive to- to not alienating Fantasmo, right?
AUSTIN: Sure.
ART: Because again, I need him, he's important, we need to solve this- but yeah I think, I think I do want him to know, like, this is what we're doing, this is what happened...
AUSTIN: Can you do that-
[crosstalk]
ART: That guy's got an evil book-
AUSTIN: I know that Andrew's listened up to the- ...books-
DRE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Right?
DRE: But the books was the last thing I've heard.
AUSTIN: The books was the last thing. And let's say, for the sake of handwaving and time, that Thor- you've, you've kind of caught Thorondir up to that stuff. And in general that stuff is fairly uncontentious minus maybe the death of the skeleton man.
ART: [small laugh] Oh my god.
AUSTIN: But the final- that final two floors is- there's some meat there.
ART: Yeah, it's- it's-
AUSTIN: That Thorondir doesn't know yet. And neither does Dre. Is that a thing you think either of you would tell Thoron- about- tell to Thorondir?
NICK: Um.
ART: Bits and pieces, right? Like, I mean certainly the big, broad things, right? Like, oh yeah, we fought- we fought-
AUSTIN: You guys can do this if you want. Yes.
ART (as Hadrian): You know, we, we, there were some- some- very confused people in there.
DRE (as Thorondir): Con- confused how?
ART (as Hadrian): They were... they were like, mad. But like, profoundly- magically- theologically- mad.
DRE (as Thorondir): Like... angry? Or like crazy?
ART (as Hadrian): Like crazy. Y'know, they had markings and they had odd- odd relics. [pause] Really odd relics. I'm- Woof, those relics.
[beginning as crosstalk]
DRE (as Thorondir): Like what? [AUSTIN laughs] What- what kind of relics?
ART (as Hadrian): They had- there was an incident between- between Lem- you know Lem?
AUSTIN: He does not know Lem.
ART (as Hadrian): Orc? About yea high?
AUSTIN: I don't think he knows Lem.
ART (as Hadrian): Uhh, well me and another one of our companions had a- [long pause] Had a trying incident.
DRE: I imagine that like Thorondir this whole time is, like, sitting, like, wide-eyed, [ART laughs] like a kid being told a ghost story.
ART (as Hadrian): We- I- I don't know how much I can- I can talk about it, but it was- there- there were evil and confusing things in that tower.
[crosstalk]
NICK: Is this- are you doing this- is this, like, during camp? Are you doing this within earshot of Fantasmo?
AUSTIN: Yeah, I think this is a camp time... This is definitely a camp time...
[crosstalk]
NICK: Okay. Yeah.
[crosstalk]
ART: Yeah yeah yeah. Feel free to- feel free to jump in.
NICK: Um, at hearing him- at hearing Hadrian say that it was evil, Fantasmo jumps in and says,
NICK (as Fantasmo): It was neither evil nor good! It was simply a case of magical manipulation.
[long pause]
ART (as Hadrian): I- you didn't- you haven't seen what I've- what I've seen, you haven't-
NICK (as Fantasmo): [emphatically] I saw the magic!
ART (as Hadrian): You haven't had the weeks that I've had-
NICK (as Fantasmo): [confident] Magic can be explained. Everything can be explained.
ART (as Hadrian): I- I want that to be true so much. I want- I want the last few weeks of, of my life to be explainable, I- I do, but it's been very- this has been some of the most trying experiences since I've taken my vows. I can't- I can't wave it off as simply as that.
ART: And are we- are we traveling with that book?
NICK: Yeah, yeah, Fantasmo's totally got it with him. He's crackin' it open and readin' it.
[crosstalk]
ART: I can't-
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: Is it public?
[crosstalk]
NICK: During downtime stuff.
AUSTIN: Uh-huh.
ART (as Hadrian): And I- I can't believe you’re- you've brought that with you. It uns- I've been told by you and by- by my superiors that it's- it might not be- dangerous to travel with, but- but I- it's so unsettling, I can't-
NICK (as Fantasmo): I understand your concerns. The concerns of the lesser-educated. But trust me... When I say- [dismissive] There's nothing to fear from this book. Just because you personally do not know the intricacies of magical energies and arcane manipulations does not mean that it is something... evil or twisted or inherently... maleficent.
NICK: That's not a word, but whatever.
AUSTIN: Nailed it. Yeah.
ART: [laughs] That's the witch from Sleeping Beauty.
DRE: No, but- But Fantasmo delivered it like it was a word.
AUSTIN: Uh-huh.
DRE: It's a word now.
AUSTIN: A real academic, in my experience. [general laughter] Just like I do. Um- So-
[crosstalk]
DRE: Uh, I think after-
AUSTIN: Go ahead.
DRE: When Fantasmo says, like, everything can be explained, Thorondir kind of perks up and maybe after that conversation is done he uses his telepathy to be like- to reach out to Fantasmo and be like,
DRE (as Thorondir): You think everything can be explained?
NICK (as Fantasmo): Of course!
[long pause]
DRE (as Thorondir): Could you help me figure out something, then?
NICK (as Fantasmo): [put-upon grumble] Just because everything can be explained does not mean that I wish to explain it to you.
[long pause]
DRE (as Thorondir): Yeah. Uh, sorry.
ART: Aww! Aww! [pause] Is anyone getting, like, a Tails vibe from...?
AUSTIN: [laughs] [dramatically] Oh no!
DRE: Aw, man.
AUSTIN: Oh no!
ART: I don't mean it as a bad thing, people love those games!
DRE: Hey, if I get a biplane, I'm good with it. [AUSTIN laughs]
NICK: Wait, I don't- Talking about different tales, I think.
AUSTIN: No, we're talking about Tails fr-
ART: No, I was talking about Miles Prower.
NICK: Oh.
AUSTIN: Not- Tails fr- Miles ‘Tails’ Prower, yeah. That’s what-
[crosstalk]
NICK: I thought you were talking about the Tales RPG games with the little- [pause] the, uh-
AUSTIN: Oh! No, no.
NICK: What do they call those? They call 'em skits, or something? The, like, little bits of dialogue that happen when you're out and about in the world?
AUSTIN: Mmm. Oh, I didn't know they did that, that's really cool.
NICK: Yeah. They're pretty cool. Those are cool games.
AUSTIN: So that night, during the- while you're, you know, making camp and talking, you notice, as you get closer and closer, and then further because of Hadrian's, uh, leadership, and then back closer again- that the night sky is getting darker and darker to the east. And to the northwest, you can still feel the, um- you can still see the heat and warmth of Velas in the distance. Someone is going to-
[crosstalk]
ART: [laughs] We've been traveling all this time and we still haven't gotten out of the-
AUSTIN: No. Not- not yet.
ART: I'm so bad at this.
AUSTIN: Well, at this point it's because you're up on that hill, and- you know.
ART: Oh.
AUSTIN: Alright, so- so who is- who takes watch that night?
ART: Uh, I assume I've been taking all the watches 'cause I don't need to sleep.
DRE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: Yeah. That's fair. Um-
DRE: I can also take a watch shift.
AUSTIN: Let's just do one person here.
DRE: 'Kay.
AUSTIN: You can- you can use the Aid/Interfere move to help. And Art, go ahead and take a +1 on this from not needing to eat, drink, or sleep; I feel like that's a bonus, right? Like, you're not gonna get tired in the middle of this, and... you know.
ART: And wander off. What's that move?
AUSTIN: It's called Take Watch. [pause] When you're on watch and something approaches the camp, roll plus Wis-
ART: [distressed] Oh, no.
AUSTIN: On a 10+, you're able to wake the camp and prepare a response. The camp takes +1 Forward. On a 7-9, you react just too late. The camp is awake, but hasn't had time to prepare; you have weapons and armor, but little else. On a miss, whatever lurks outside the campfire's light has the drop on you.
ART: Okay, I'm gonna hit roll Wis and then we have to add 1 to it manually.
NICK: Uh, can I-
AUSTIN: Okay.
DRE: I also-
ART: Oh, and- and there's a- it's Aid, I'm being Aided?
AUSTIN: Yes. So go ahead. Who was aiding? Thorondir said they wanted to aid?
DRE: Well, I could, or also- I mean, either I could or Kodiak is trained to stand guard. So... I don't know-
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: Is someone clicking a lot? Is someone clicking a lot? [pause] Okay. Your clicking is coming through on the- is leaking, right now.
NICK: Alright. Okay. I beat that boss, I won't click anymore.
AUSTIN: It's fine. [laughs] Great. Great. [DRE laughs]
NICK: I'm paying attention! I promise!
AUSTIN: [in joking disbelief] Uh-huh. Go ahead and make your Aid/Interfere, which is, uh, you roll plus Bond, and tell me what you're doing! And how are you aiding? Like, are you just up all night with him?
DRE: Uh, Thorondir?
AUSTIN: Yeah.
DRE: Yeah, I think, um, I think like after that campfire conversation, like, Thorondir can tell Hadrian's got, like, he's carrying some stuff with him. Uh, and Thorondir's probably, you know, stayin' up to chat with him, telling him things about, like, you know, like, you can really- you can lose some of your problems in the woods. [AUSTIN and NICK laugh] When you're out here and you're away from everything. You know, in a kind of, like, that earthy, hippie way, it's like-
AUSTIN: Right.
DRE: Man, it's just you- it's just you and the earth, man. Just- just try and let it go. [AUSTIN laughs]
ART: It, like, just occurred to me that I chose to not need to sleep after having a bunch of bad dreams.
AUSTIN: Ohhhh...
ART: And that's, like, super interesting psychologically.
AUSTIN: That's super interesting. Yeah. That's really good. I like that a lot. I don't believe we didn't notice that. Uh, so yeah, go ahead and make Aid/Interfere, which is- when you help or hinder someone you have a bond with, roll plus Bond with them; on a 10+, they take +1 or -2, your choice. On a 7-9-
DRE: Uh, how do you add +1-
AUSTIN: It's- it's 1. You only have 1 Bond with Art. Er, with Hadrian. So 2d6+1. [pause as DRE rolls] Okay! So Art, you go ahead and take another 1-
DRE: Did I take any... Would I get any bonus from Kodiak helping me out standing guard since he's trained to stand guard?
AUSTIN: Hm. That's a good question.
ART: Does it... matter? Right? 'Cause we-
AUSTIN: Well, it-
ART: We did it.
AUSTIN: It increases- it's gonna help me understand what happens, though.
ART: Okay. We're at 10.
AUSTIN: You're at 10. You succeeded. Remember, that doesn't mean that something doesn't come. It means that you're prepared. It means you're all awake and prepared.
AUSTIN (CONT.): Art, Hadrian hears, um, Hadrian sees the moonlight catch the large eyes of a thing between some of the trees in the distance. And when you listen, you can hear a kind of- a, not rhythmic, but there is a timing to it where it's like, step step step, [sucks in air], and then like a jump- you can hear a thing leaving the ground, and then like, a louder landing, and then step step step, [sucks in air]. Lift, land. And it's not too long until you finally see- you've gotten everyone up at this point, everyone's ready-
ART: Yeah, I bet telepathy's a good way to wake someone up without... alerting your... your ambushers.
AUSTIN: Yes. Good call. Uh, that's definitely good. But I do wanna know if the- if the mastiff, Kodiak, helps here. 'Cause it will- it will answer whether or not Dre has exposed himself; whether or not Thorondir has exposed himself.
DRE: Mm.
AUSTIN: I'm having like a really hard time keeping my name situation working today. It's 'cause it's so early. This is so early for me.
DRE: Yeah.
ART: To be clear, it's like, 3 PM.
AUSTIN: It's so early for me to be, like, doing this. I say that, but like, last week I definitely was running a weird- I definitely forced my- my class to play that cool sci-fi game that I cooked up for them, so that they would understand the difference between technological and systemic problems. [ART laughs] I'm a big nerd. [DRE laughs] [pause] Yeah, I think it gives you- I think it gives you a bonus. You'd have to make that command, right?
DRE: Yeah. Would I add, like, its cunning? It seems- 'cause it, it gives a couple of, like, specific examples.
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: It says- It says, if somebody interferes with you, add its Instinct to their roll. In this case, let's say it adds its Instinct to your roll. So what's its Instinct?
DRE: To the Aid?
AUSTIN: Yeah.
DRE: Uh, it's 1, so I'd be at an 8. So I think I'd still be in that- exposing myself to danger.
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: Okay. You'd still be in that- you're still exposing yourself to damage, or to retribution, or whatever. Which is interesting because you're up, and everyone's up and ready and, like, scanning the woods for any danger when suddenly landing right in front of you is a beast about- How tall are you?
DRE: Uh, Thorondir?
AUSTIN: Yeah.
DRE: I'd probably say about, like, 5'10".
AUSTIN: Three- two to three times your height, let's say?
DRE: Whoa! That's large. [SOMEONE whistles, impressed]
AUSTIN: Uh, let's say two times your height. Two times your height seems right.
DRE: [still taken back] Okay!
AUSTIN: Uh, about 12, 13 feet. Uh- it is, uh- standing on- on- you kind of, like, do the classic pan up its body. Uh, its feet are kind of black furry talons, uh, and its legs have lots of meat on them and, and um, very sharp-looking brown and white feathers, uh, and as you look up its body you- you see that it's- it's really nice and bulky up in the torso and its arms are just built like Shaq's. Just like- I know your snow elves are big NBA fans. [DRE laughs] So like, they have a good Shaq reference.
DRE: Gotcha.
AUSTIN: Just like, huge width- er, not width, length. Like, really good reach on this thing. And its face is a strange... it's round with big eyes and a very, um, a- a beak that protrudes out like two fist-lengths. Two of your fist-lengths from its face. And it screeches in the night and raises its arms up to come down at you. What do you do?
DRE: Oh boy. Well I guess I would try to roll out of the way. So that would be, I guess, a Defy Danger?
AUSTIN: Yeah. So you, like, roll to the side?
DRE: Mhm.
AUSTIN: That's fair.
DRE: So let's see. If I'm rolling, that would be plus my Dex?
AUSTIN: Mhm.
DRE: Uh, 9.
AUSTIN: Okay. Um. Hmm. Let me look at your sheet-
ART: What is this thing?
DRE: I think I know what it is.
AUSTIN: You guys- you could Spout Lore on it, for sure.
DRE: Yeah, could I- could I also do a Spout Lore check?
AUSTIN: Let's- let's, yeah, let's- let me take care of this Defy Danger first, though.
DRE: Sure, sure.
AUSTIN: Uh, yeah, you can get out of the way. You can do that little dodge. But it means dropping your spear.
DRE: Okay.
AUSTIN: So like you can get away, but it would mean, like, 'oh, I have to drop this thing and roll out of the way.'
DRE: Would I still have, like, my bow and my quiver on me?
AUSTIN: Mhm! Yeah, you still have those, like, out, basically. But, like, you're- the way you're standing, like, you have them ready and like- 'ah, I can't hold onto both of these and also do a cool roll!' So go ahead.
DRE: Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, I'll drop the spear.
AUSTIN: Okay. [pause] Uh, did you also want to say what is this thing, since you got a good look up at it?
DRE: Yeah, I'll Spout Lore. [pause to roll] Oh, boy. A 6.
AUSTIN: You- [laughs] You pop up and, like, turn to yell what you think it is to- to Hadrian and Fantasmo, and its claws just rip into you. Uh, as you turn. Like, you're distracted by your thinking of what to do- er, of what it is, rather.
DRE: Woof.
AUSTIN: Pretty woof. [pause to roll] Take 6 damage.
DRE: Woof!
ART: Is there a dog?
AUSTIN: [laughs] I love this [in a very 'I do not love this' tone]. Hadrian and Fantasmo, what are you doing as Thorondir gets-
DRE (as Thorondir): It's a- [pained, drawn-out scream]
AUSTIN: Yeah. He gets- It hits you and it, like, slam- and again, it's one of these, like, you know the Avengers shot where Hulk lands and- or punches the dude and he goes flying offscreen? That's what's happening here. You get knocked offscreen into, like, a tree that, like, sways in the night sky.
[crosstalk]
DRE: Yeah. Jesus.
AUSTIN: Fantasmo-
DRE: I imagine at this point Kodiak is also barking up a storm.
AUSTIN: Yeah. Losing it.
NICK: Uh, Fantasmo is gonna cast Magic Missiles at it.
AUSTIN: [pause] Okay. Uh, go ahead and do your cool point animation.
NICK: Um. Alright.
AUSTIN: That you do. [pause] Remembering what that was. You make that roll... Just straight Int.
NICK: Rolled a 9.
AUSTIN: Uh, what's it say? What's Magic Missile say on a 9? Or is it just a-
NICK: It's...
DRE: Actually, before you do that- sorry- does armor do anything with losing- or, negating damage?
AUSTIN: Yes. It's- it takes whatever the armor value is off of the damage. Very- super simple.
DRE: Alright. So if I have 1, then I would have lost 5. Sorry.
AUSTIN: Yup! Exactly.
DRE: My bad.
NICK: That's a, um- On a 9 that's just- yeah.
AUSTIN: Oh, right. Yes yes yes. Are you- are you drawing unwelcome attention to yourself, putting yourself in a spot? Are you taking -1 ongoing to spellcasting? Or are you forgetting a spell?
[crosstalk]
NICK: Uh, I'm gonna put myself in a spot.
AUSTIN: Okay! Go ahead and make your 2d6- or, 2d4 damage. Also, what did you take- oh, no, I do remember what you took. For leveling.
NICK: Oops.
AUSTIN: Oh, [explaining Roll20 commands] it's /roll, space... 2d4.
NICK: [dejected] 4.
AUSTIN: Still learnin' the tools. Okay. Uh, what color were these lights? Were these missiles, again?
[crosstalk]
NICK: Purple.
AUSTIN: That's right. That's what I thought. That's like... was in my head, but- so these two purple blasts come out of Fantasmo's hands and slam into the- the back of this beast, which turns to face- face him, and charges forward at him.
NICK: Umm.
AUSTIN: What do you do?
NICK: I'm gonna try to cast Invisible.
AUSTIN: Okay.
NICK: 11! Yes.
ART: Ol' standby!
AUSTIN: The old standby. Okay.
NICK: Yup.
DRE: Damn. Good roll.
AUSTIN: So there's- hmm. Hmm. Okay. You- you turn invisible, uh, you do your normal thing. Hadrian and uh- [pause] Thorondir, you see Fantasmo disappear as he waves his hand past his face in a 'you-can't-see-me' motion. Uh, [laughs] all the way down his body, erasing himself from your visible plane. [ART laughs] And Fantasmo, you sidestep this beast.
NICK: Okay. Yeah.
AUSTIN: But bit by bit you see things in the distance become less and less clear.
NICK: Oh.
AUSTIN: A tree vanishes and then another. And then a star from the sky. And then a constellation. And then the moon is gone. Hadrian, what do you do?
ART: Uh, I'm gonna hack and slash. I'm gonna- I'm gonna charge this- well, I guess I'm using a halberd, which is a longer, er, ranged weapon.
AUSTIN: Yeah.
ART: So I guess I'm not charging. That gets rid of all of my advantages. But I'm [laughs] you know, I- I take a stance. I, you know, kinda like shake my sword, like, a little bit, like I'm trying to get his attention. I don't want him hitting anyone but me. And then I hit him. I, I swing at him.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: Uhh... [muttering] And I'm gonna... gonna hit the right roll thing...
AUSTIN: Good call. Do that. That seems like an important thing to do. [DRE laughs]
ART: So it's plus Strength.
AUSTIN: It is.
ART: Uh, it's a 7.
AUSTIN: You deal your damage, but you also get an attack made against you. Go ahead and-
[beginning as crosstalk]
ART: Right. So my damage is d10 plus my weapon?
AUSTIN: No. Unless the weapon says plus damage, it's just d10. Classes determine-
ART: Right, I- my weapon is, I think is +1 damage, I'm going to double check-
AUSTIN: Yeah, double check. I know, like, swords are. Uhh... yes. Halberd is +1 damage.
ART: It's +1 damage. Plus I have 1d4 because of my- because I'm on a quest.
AUSTIN: Right. Right.
ART: So here's a d10 and we're gonna- [laughs]
AUSTIN: That's 11d10. You rolled 11d10. You did not do 61 damage. [DRE laughs]
ART: That's not what that said! [pause] Alright, so that's a 1... +1 is 2... and then I have to roll a d4.
AUSTIN: Uh-huh.
NICK: Oh, man.
DRE: So you poke it.
ART: Well, my d4 could still roll well. [pause to roll] So it's 5. 5's not bad!
AUSTIN: 5's not bad. Uh… Okay.
ART: I probably could have done that in one thing, right?
AUSTIN: Yeah. I think you probably catch it in the back. Um, it's a huge- like, a burst of feathers goes up into the air, colored with this thing's black blood, as it turns around and screams at you before jumping way into the air and flapping its arms long enough to hover in the sky for just a moment.
AUSTIN (CONT.): Thorondir, what's up with you?
DRE: Uh, I'm- nockin' an arrow in my bow. I'm gonna shoot this thing out of the sky.
AUSTIN: Let's go for it. That's a Volley.
DRE: So that's a Volley, yeah.
AUSTIN: Volley says- 'cause I don't know if we've done Volley before.
DRE: We have not.
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: When you take aim and shoot at an enemy at range, roll +Dex. On a 10+, you have a clear shot. Deal your damage. On a 7-9, choose one, whichever you choose, you deal damage. You have to move to get the shot, placing you in danger of the GM's choice; you have to take what you can get, minus 1d6 damage; or, you have to take several shots, reducing your Ammo by 1.
AUSTIN (CONT.): Ammo is this cool kind of abstract resource in Dungeon World; each time someone does Volley, they're always shooting, like, a couple of shots unless they say otherwise, but that doesn't mean that their Ammo goes down. Their ammo only goes down when they roll the 7-9, or they miss and I say, like, okay, that's gonna cost you an ammo.
DRE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: So, go ahead.
DRE: Well, I rolled a 6, so I suppose I miss.
AUSTIN: Uh, you- you do. [DRE laughs] You- Kodiak's barking up at the thing and you're like, 'yeah, I hear you!' and you fire off a few shots and- and each of them misses. Um, and then the- the giant beast in the sky lands, separating you from Kodiak and lifting Kodiak up in its claws.
ART and DRE: No!
AUSTIN: What do you do? Anyone.
NICK: Uh, what's happening to- are things still disappearing for me?
AUSTIN: The fire is still there, but the bedrolls you had are slowly vanishing-
NICK: So what am I seeing instead? Just, like, a field of black?
AUSTIN: It's strange. Well, at first it's the- it’s the snow. At first, it's the remaining starlight on the snow, and then the snow folds in on itself and you see a new starfield under the current one.
NICK: Cool.
AUSTIN: Or, like, below the ground.
[crosstalk]
ART: For clarity's sake-
AUSTIN: Mhm?
ART: The rest of us don't see this, right?
AUSTIN: No. Everyone else is just in the woods.
ART: Alright. So it's not physically disappearing. [DRE laughs]
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: He's not unmaking the universe right now.
AUSTIN: Right.
NICK: Unfortunately.
ART: 'Cause that'd be something worth noting.
AUSTIN: That'd be bad.
NICK: Fantasmo'd be pretty proud about that.
AUSTIN: Uh, you still see- you do still see these people moving around in the kind of black, which is interesting. You know, like, they're- they're, even as the snow vanishes beneath their feet, the light from the campfire, um, illuminates them, and they're kind of- it's almost, you know, I think especially Thorondir, who got knocked away a bit, who's now standing just on a star field.
[crosstalk]
NICK: Okay.
AUSTIN: You know. It's a little disorienting for sure. More than a little.
[crosstalk]
NICK: Yeah, but- it's disorienting but also Fantasmo's just fascinated by it. Like he's- he's kind of at a loss what to do, but he kind of doesn't wanna do anything to end it, 'cause he just wants to witness whatever this thing is. Like, whatever's happening, he wants to study it, you know?
AUSTIN: [laughs] Mhm. [pause] Yup.
ART: Uh, okay. I'd sort of like to defend? But I'm not near anyone I can defend. Is there like a- is there an interpretation of this rule where I'm like- where it's- it's like a verbal defend? Like a-
DRE: You could defend Kodiak.
ART: Oh, I guess I don't understand where-
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: Are you looking to, like, draw attention- is that what your goal is here?
ART: Yeah. Like, I'm- it's like, I wanna- Kodiak is the one I'm- like, I am trying to, like-
ART (as Hadrian): No, don't attack him, hit me. Don't hit-
ART: And I, like- that's either defend or it's just attack, right?
AUSTIN: I think you can make that defend- you know, the way defense is written, it's supposed to be a stance that you go into ahead of time, right? Like 'I'm going to be defending Kodiak,' right?
ART: Right.
AUSTIN: But damage hasn't been done to Kodiak yet. You could still, I think, say from here forward you're going to start defending Kodiak. Um-
ART: But there's also like- is the best defense a good offense right now, right?
AUSTIN: That's up to you. That's up to you, uh, for sure.
ART: Sure.
AUSTIN: Um. I think either one of those is a perfectly valid reaction.
ART: Alright, I think I'm- I think I'm going- if- I think I'm gonna try to hit it. I think I'm gonna try to, you know- you know, try to establish myself as the biggest threat here.
AUSTIN: Mhm.
ART: You'll forgive the MMO parlance.
AUSTIN: Yes. Yes. [DRE laughs]
ART: Um, so- so yeah. I think I'm- I'm, you know, again, I'm trying to make a lot of noise. I'm trying to make big movements, you know, I'm trying to establish, you know, I don't know how primitive this thing is but I'm trying to like establish that, like, 'look, this is the thing here.'
AUSTIN: Right.
ART: 'The guy with the big sword. Not that dog. This guy.'
AUSTIN: Dre, did you get knocked off of Roll20?
DRE: Uh, no?
AUSTIN: Okay. Your thing isn't showing up for me anymore, so I wasn't sure.
DRE: Oh. That's weird.
AUSTIN: Also, Roll20 broke for me just now, so it could be on my side. I'm gonna relaunch it. Um, go ahead, keep- keep- go ahead and make your roll. I'll trust you.
NICK: It is-
ART: It's a 10!
NICK: Yeah.
AUSTIN: [doubtful] Is it?
ART: It is, I can verify.
DRE: Yeah! [NICK laughs] It totally is!
DRE (as Thorondir): [panicked] Don't hurt my dog!
AUSTIN: That's a good- that's a good roll, I see it. So go ahead and do damage.
ART: Alright. I think I'm gonna- I think I'm gonna take the +1d6, but expose myself?
AUSTIN: Okay!
ART: Because I think that fits here, too, right? Like, I'm not trying to avoid his attacks.
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: Yeah, absolutely it does! Absolutely.
ART: I want this dude.
AUSTIN: Yup. [DRE laughs]
ART: Uh, how do I- I'm just gonna-
AUSTIN: Did you do 'em as separate rolls?
ART: Yeah. There's my d10. Or... no, that isn't...
AUSTIN: I don't see it- oh, there it is.
ART: There it is!
DRE: There it is.
ART: Okay, and there's- and there's... roll 1d6... damn it. And there's-
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: That's a bad one.
ART: And there's roll 1d4. So it's 11. Oh, plus my weapon.
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: Plus 1.
ART: 12.
AUSTIN: Right. [muttering] Uhh, minus... [indistinct] Okay. You [laughs] what type of attack are you making here? Like, what’s the-
ART: Uh, I think it's like a big- big sword sweep.
AUSTIN: Okay. Or, or, halberd sweep.
ART: Halberd sweep. Right. I keep forgetting it's not a sword.
AUSTIN: Yeah, I know. It's hard.
ART: But it's a- polearms are weird, guys.
AUSTIN: Yeah, yeah.
ART: I mean that’s really not how you use a pole- so I guess it's a- I guess it's like a big stab, right? It's a big, like, upward jut.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: You know, and I'm not short of, like, daring him to charge in- like, that's what I'm daring him on the opening to attack, is like, I want him to charge back to-
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: So you're in front of it? Are you in front of it?
ART: I think I'm behind it.
AUSTIN: Okay.
ART: Because I think he turned away from me, 'cause that's where I thought Kodiak was? But I'm wrong, that's not where-
[crosstalk]
AUSTIN: That's- no, that's what I had in mind. That's why I asked, to be clear.
ART: So like, it's a big, like, hit into his back, but then like, I pull back and kind of, like, try to brace for his charge, but he's probably not... gonna charge me.
AUSTIN: You- you, uh- Throndir, from your side, what you see is the front end of a halberd burst through this thing's chest just under where it's holding, um- what's the mastiff's, I keep forgetting- oh, Kodiak. Kodiak jumps away safely and then, and then you see Hadrian go back into a ready stance before this beast falls to its knees and then collapses into the snow, its blood draining out around it.
ART: [relieved] Woof! Woof.
AUSTIN: What were you- what were you gonna say this was? Uh, Thoron- Throndir?
DRE: Uh. Is it an owlbear?
AUSTIN: It is an owlbear.
DRE: Yeah!
AUSTIN: Do you tell that to Hadrian?
DRE: Yeah.
NICK: [triumphantly] Yes. Owlbears.
ART (as Hadrian): What a... What a gross thing.
AUSTIN: You know that owlbears definitely are hunters. They definitely hunt in the night. But while you were scouting, you didn't see any, like, of the telltale signs of the owlbear hunting in this area, right, like- owlbears have their territory, and it's marked. And you would know how to see that.
DRE: Yeah.
AUSTIN: But you didn't see it anywhere. So this was a very strange attack.
NICK: Um.
AUSTIN: Fantasmo! How you doin'?
NICK: I don't know. You tell me. What's goin' on?
AUSTIN: The fire goes out.
[crosstalk]
ART: Still trippin' balls?
NICK: Do I still see the people?
AUSTIN: The fire's gone. You see areas where the starfield is blocked out by bodies, but you don't see their features anymore. They're kind of lit in what stars remain, and the stars are continuing to vanish for you, too.
[crosstalk]
NICK: What happens if I try to talk? Is there- okay. Um.
AUSTIN: You can talk.
NICK: I try- I try to talk. And I try to say, to the other two, uh,
NICK (as Fantasmo): Something very peculiar is happening to me right now.
DRE: Can we hear that?
[long pause]
AUSTIN: Yeah! Yeah. Sorry. I was stretching.
DRE: Okay.
AUSTIN: [pause] And thinking.
ART: Can we, like, echolocate-
AUSTIN: Nick, you-
ART: I think echolocate's too fancy a term.
AUSTIN: [laughs] Yeah, you know where- you can hear him, if that's what you mean. He's standing-
[crosstalk]
DRE: Well, yeah.
ART: But like he's- he's in a place-
AUSTIN: Yes. He's there.
DRE: Thorondir's never seen this before, so he's freaking out, he's like,
DRE (as Thorondir): Where- Fantasmo, where are you? Where did you go?
AUSTIN: His books are also floating nearby him, now, let's say.
[foley of waves crashing against a shore]
ART: Oh, right.
AUSTIN: It's very odd. Uh, Fantasmo. [ending song begins] You realize now, after the things have calmed down a bit, that you don't remember how you did this. And it's not exactly the same as when you normally forget a spell.
NICK: [startled] Oh.
AUSTIN: It's not... It's a little different. It's not like it's- you know, normally there's a kind of safe- you know. It's like when you- it's like when you hang your keys on, like, a hook on the wall. Right?
[crosstalk]
NICK: Right.
AUSTIN: Like, okay. I don't have them on me anymore.
NICK: Uh-huh.
AUSTIN: But they're right over there! I can go get them. This is, like, I lost my keys.
NICK: Oh. Sure. Yeah.
AUSTIN: Do you know what I mean?
NICK: Uh.
AUSTIN: It's very scary.
NICK: My keys are not where I put them anymore.
NICK (as Fantasmo): My invisibility spell is not- not where I put it.
ART (as Hadrian): Can you... Can you- I don't know the words for any of this- [DRE laughs] can you not be invisible?
NICK (as Fantasmo): I'm... I think I wanna ride this out for a while. It's very fascinating.
DRE: [laughs] You're just like-
[crosstalk]
NICK: Yeah.
ART: You're on, like, a really bad trip right now.
[ending song finishes; wave foley fades out]
AUSTIN: Hey, internet. Welcome to Friends at the Table, an actual-play podcast focused on critical worldbuilding- let me start over. Keith, cut that. I forgot that I said the name of the- I was like, oh shit, did I not say the name of the podcast? And then I did, it turns out. [ART and DRE laugh] He's not gonna cut this. I know how Keith do.