12-Step Codependency Worksheet

Step	Symptoms & Behaviors	Examples	Additional Notes
1	Denial	Avoid or rationalize harmful behavior in the relationship.
2	Low self-esteem	Seeking approval and validation from others. Feeling inadequate
3	People-pleasing	Putting away your own needs to please others. Difficulty saying "no."
4	Poor boundaries	Difficulty in setting boundaries, and feeling responsible for others' feelings and problems.
5	Control issues	Trying to control or manipulate others' behavior. Feeling anxious when things are out of your control.
6	Caretaking	Taking care of others to the detriment of your well-being.
7	Obsession	Obsessing over the thoughts, feelings, and actions of others.
8	Dependency	Your sense of worth or identity is relying on others
9	Avoidance	Difficulty in processing conflict or difficult emotions by focusing on others.
10	Enabling	Supporting unhealthy behavior in others.
11	Guilt	Feeling guilty for asserting your own needs or setting boundaries.
12	Lack of trust	Difficulty in trusting yourself and others. Fear of being alone or abandoned.

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Please note: There may be a more up-to-date and editable version of this worksheet available here, which may be more suitable to present to clients if you are a therapist or to use in a classroom as a teacher or guidance counselor.

References

Whitfield C. Co-dependence healing the human condition: The new paradigm for helping professionals and people in recovery. Simon and Schuster; 2010.
Beattie M. The new codependency: help and guidance for today's generation. Simon and Schuster; 2008 Dec 30.