Jack: Thanks, Janine. Welcome to Live at the Table, an actual play podcasts about smart characterization, critical world-building, and a fun interaction between good friends, live to your eyes and ears on twitch.TV, and also wherever you're listening to this. We are returning to continue our LP of Jason Morningstar's Fiasco, I think Bully Pulpit's Fiasco, where we are returning to the world of zoo development within Bluff City. Uh, I am joined by Janine Hawkins.

Janine: Hi, I'm Janine. I'm at @bleatingheart on Twitter. I did a big rant today about AI NPC stuff, and it's not even my first rant on the subject. [chuckles] Uh, if I you wanna hear some thoughts, you can go read that. I'm mad.

Jack: Uh, I am also joined by Keith J. Carberry.

Keith: Uh, hi. My name is Keith J. Carberry. You can find me on Twitter and Cohost at @keithjcarberry, and you can find the Let's Plays that I do at YouTube.com/RunButton. We just uploaded a video of Kylie playing the beginning parts of Tears of the Kingdom. That was a really fun and funny episode.

Janine: Mmm.

Keith: You should watch that.

Jack: And, Ali Acampora.

Ali: Uh, hi. My name is Alicia Acampora. Uh, you can find any of the music featured on the show at —

Jack: Wait, no, wait.

Ali: Notquitereal.bandcamp.com [laughs]. I don't compose it. But, instead of reading my tweets —

Keith: I composed it.

Ali: Just, just like, start watching wrestle and Succession and forming your own opinions about them.

Keith: Oh, come on, Ali.

Ali: [giggles] That's the way to get into my headspace. It's not Twitter anymore.

Jack: Uh, you can find me on Cohost at —

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: JDQ. I, I need to finish Succession. I've seen only the premier of Season — the final season. At which point assholes on the internet spoiled two the show's big opening moves this season, and it really left a sour taste in my mouth. And I know I'll have a good time when I get to it, and I get to watch the show work through those ideas, but I wish I had encountered them, uh, live.

Keith: Yeah, I'm lucky not to care, but no show has been spoiled for me with the speed that Succession does every week. I see what happens on Succession every week on Twitter. Like, the hour after it happens.

Ali: It got weird this year.

Jack: It did get weird this year.

Ali: It's a Wild West of opinions.

Recap [03:00]

Jack: Uh, yeah. Sweet god. Uh, we are returning, as I said, to our, our game of Zoo 2, Bluff City Zoo 2. It's a sequel, and in, uh, I think, uh, uh, a good move by us, being clever, uh, this is also a sequel Zoo. Uh, it follows the story of—

Ali: [chuckling]

Jack: [laughing] Some returning characters and some new characters who have been tasked with producing the second in a massive ongoing zoo expansion that Bluff City is kind of working on, and is developing.

Keith: It's a multiverse of zoos.

Jack: Uh, it is sort of a multiverse of zoos. All of your favorite zoo characters are here, just blundering hopelessly into each other. [chuckling]

Keith: Animals who were never meant to meet.

Jack: Yep.

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: Uh, animals who were never meant to meet, did meet. Uh, does anybody want to give kind of a recap of where we left off? And then I think we should introduce our characters, and — well, actually, let's start by introducing our characters so that you have some context in the recap, rather than it being a bunch of people you don't know, and then we further talk about them. Uh, do you want to start, Ali?

Ali: Uh, sure. I'm playing a character named Darren Cruiser. In our previous Bluff City Zoo, uh, Darren was kind of a go-getter, uh, frat boy vibes. Uh, [chuckles] you know, uh, uh, ambitious zookeeper who, who lost all of his access to the zoos through bad times. Uh, had to... leave that life for a while, chase some other careers, but is now, you know, finally back to his true passion of maintaining animals and, uh, —

Keith: Back home at the zoo.

Ali: Customer service, yeah, you know. Uh, I would say that Darren — okay. What's happening with Darren right now is, he primarily, above everything else, cares for the animals.

Keith: Ooh, high road.

Ali: Underneath that — [laughing]

Keith: [cracking up]

Ali: [wheezes]

Jack: Oh, he's got like a hierarchy of needs.

Ali: Uh, second priority is that he is, he has been attempting to try to skate the line between maintaining his relationships, his new relationship with, uh, Dudley Brick House, and his former rekindling relationship with Daximillion Shepherd, former coworker, and former BFF.

Keith: Current F, at least.

Ali: So he's — current F, for sure current F. But, you know, there's, there, there was, there was a period there were they were not —

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: In each other's lives, and we're seeing them be in each other's lives again, and I, I, I would, it's been mixed so far.

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: We've sort of got a, a —

Keith: Partially because you're lying to me —

Jack: A love triangle.

Keith: And helping your [chuckling] other friend.

Ali: I'm not — when did I lie?

Keith: No? [chuckling]

Jack: Uh, it's a... it's a triangle of bros. It's a classic triangle of bros.

Ali: It's a triangle of bros.

Keith: Yeah, it's a triangle of bros.

Ali: I have a milk bro and I have a, a zoo bro, and my, my milk bro came to the zoo, and it's all mixed-up.

Keith: [chuckling]

Jack: Got real hard.

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: Uh, Janine?

Janine: Uh, yeah I'm playing a precocious teen, I guess? Devin Zeller, who is the daughter of a management-type person who works at Zoo 2, uh, and who often is just kind of left to her own devices is to fuck around at the zoo. Uh, she has [laughs] acquired, I think, the last surviving chinchilla.

Keith: [chuckles] Not in the world.

Janine: No, no, just at the zoo.

Jack: [laughs]

Keith: Just at the zoo.

Janine: Who she has named Popcorner. Uh, she's kind of just trying to, like, live her life, uh, and, uh, would very much like to drink beer and play fortnight with her friends. Uh, and to that end, offered to provide, uh, Dudley with a forged note from her grandpa, who was allegedly a little bit clairvoyant, to try and help him get his job back, uh, in exchange for beer. And Dudley's counteroffer was 20,000 dollars, and Devin that was okay. [chuckles] And got right to work doing that forgery. Uh, so I think her, her, her motivation right now is largely [chuckling] I'm going to get paid, woo, I'm going to get paid.

Jack: I'm going to get paid — when I was a kid, I thought, and still think, in some circumstances, that 13 dollars was an inconceivable amount of money.

Ali: [chortles]

Janine: [chuckles]

Jack: You know? This is —

Janine: I once asked my parents — my parents once bought a lottery ticket, and the lottery was for like... some millions of dollars, like 5 million dollars, because it was like the 90s. And I asked them with deep earnesty, if they won the lottery, they would give me 100 dollars.

Ali: Aw.

Janine: And they were like, “... yeah.”

Jack: Fucking hope so.

Ali: [snorts] [laughs]

Jack: We, we see written out in the world, occasionally, the dread consequence of giving a, what, 14-year-old, 25,000 dollars? It never really turns out great. Uh, but it is exciting. Uh, Keith, who are you playing?

Keith: Uh, I am playing, uh, Dax, uh, Leopard. Uh, Dax Leopard is, you know, very much, uh, of a feather with Darren Cruiser. Sort of, part, uh, you know, uh, hustle and, uh, you know, grind culture, and part sort of Zen surfer, who gets really bad, pretty — a fairly bad outcome in the last Bluff, and sort of has been, uh, working his way back into the good graces of the zoo. Uh, is sort of, kind of obviously beleaguered by, uh, the shift from large animal zookeeper to small animal zookeeper. [chuckles] Uh, and is trying to make the best of a bad situation when Dudley starts feeding all of his animals to the lizards, and then fires Dudley, and then gets fired for the same thing that he fired Dudley for, which was the animals going missing.

Jack: Yeah. Uh, I am playing Dudley Brick House, who is the, the third bro in your triangle of bros. I am a reptile house manager, uh, who is, uh, uh, the way you described Dax as like a cross between a grind, a grindset person and a surfer guy, I think that Dudley Brick House is like a cross between a grindcore person and, like a — [chuckles] a grindcore — yeah, grindset person —

Keith: [chuckles]

Jack: And like a, like a, like a Gnostic? [chuckles] He believes that, uh, that the snakes can really learn the empathy of being small creatures if they eat —

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: Uh, [chuckling] small animals who have like, lived a good life. And so, as such, he fed all of Dax's, well, most of Dax's chinchillas to — I know you said the lizards, but it seems to be just to one snake, at the moment, called Ralph.

Keith: [laughing] okay.

Jack: Uh, I have —

Janine: I have a question.

Jack: Yeah.

Janine: Would he feed a person to Ralph?

Jack: That is a great question, and I —

Janine: [chuckling] Is it one that the he's never had to confront in his life yet?

Jack: This is, I think, a question he has not had to confront, and I think that this is firmly a, “Play to find out what happens,” [unintelligible]

Keith: Can I ask you a second, follow up question?

Jack: I think — yes.

Keith: Just to contrast that?

Jack: [chuckling] Yes.

Keith: Would he buy alcohol for a minor?

Jack: Absolute not. Uh, I think something that I find —

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: Find really funny [laughing] about Dudley is that he has like a completely bizarre series of moral lines that he will and won't cross, that frankly are opaque to me, the person piloting him around. Uh, he is recent good friends with Darren Cruiser, and has roped Darren, uh, in a sort of awful scheme that I will talk about in just a second.

Keith: Did we say what they bonded over? Or did we just allude to it.

Jack: Oh, they, uh, this is probably worth saying. They, [laughing] they won a sideshow competition on the beach, uh, in exactly the same manner, that enabled them to win a lifetime supply of milk. And as such, Dudley and Darren are like, like, uh, uh, joined, uh, they fell in love through circumstance, right?

Ali: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

Jack: Of like, we are the milk bros. We are very similar. They had to climb a ladder —

Keith: Right, this is a great prize for them.

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: [laughing]

Keith: They were like, immediate — they liked this prize.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Jack: Yes. They had to climb a ladder, and they did it in exactly the same time. Uh, like, down to the millisecond, and they were like bros. Every week they go and pick up their supply of milk [chuckles] and have a photo taken, that gets put in the newspaper. Uh, —

Keith: Twitter?

Jack: This is part of the conditions of — hm?

Keith: Does it get put on Twitter?

Jack: I don't know if Twitter exists in Bluff City, that's a good question. It probably does.

Keith: Is there any social media?

Jack: I wouldn't know. There's definitely a Slack, but I don't think Slack is social media.

Janine: There is social media. There has to be, because of a thing that I posted in, sorry, that Devin's mom posted in #animal-drama.

Jack: Oh, yes, [laughing] I can see, I can see that there is some social media.

Keith: Oh.

Janine: [chuckling] We can confirm there is social media.

Keith: Uh, oh, I actually think there was social media in the last one, too. Because we used it to hype up the lions. Oh, by the way, what is the URL of the slack?

Ali: Oh, I'll post it in our...

Keith: Okay, yeah, because I'm on the page where it's like, sign in, and I tried to sign in, and it was like, you have to type in the name of the —

Jack: But before we begin, I'm going to do a real quick recap, as we go.

Uh, Darren, Dax, and Dudley work as animal handlers in Bluff City Zoo 2, a zoo created to follow up Bluff City 1, but with a focus on animal interactions, and like, like educational animal shows. Uh, uh, Dax, uh, gifts one of the chinchillas to Devin, a young teenager whose mother works for the zoo, and spends a lot of time kind of hanging around there, and then discovers that the rest of his chinchillas have been fed by Dudley to a snake. Uh, he gets angry about this and fires Dudley. Uh, Dudley, in revenge, and in an attempt to try and get back into the zoo's good graces, steals and incredibly valuable fish worth 120,000 dollars, planning to, uh, uh, act as the hero and recover the fish and give it back to the zoo, you know, thereby earning his job, you know, earning, earning his job back.

He ropes Darren into this plan, who, like you said, Ali, seems primarily to be like, “Can I care about the fish, as my number one goal?” Meanwhile, Devin approaches Dudley and offers, uh, to fabricate a letter from DE Hitchcock the fourth, the, sort of the old, uh, uh, owner of the zoo, claiming to be seeing in the future, and seeing that Dudley might be, uh, worth hiring back to get the zoo back on track Devin demands a crate of beer for this, and Dudley, refusing to buy alcohol for a minor, instead offers her 100, uh, offers her 20,000 dollars, switching his plan to sell the fish, keep the money, pay Devin for the forged letter, and get his job back that way. Meanwhile, sinister Bluff City councilman Ort, uh, uh, summons Dax to his office and fires him, uh, for, as Keith said, exactly the same reason that Dax fired Dudley. Is there anything, has that hit the major beats? Oh, I think it's also worth saying that Dax has a scheme, has a, has a plan in the works, uh, whereby he will, correct me if I'm wrong here, Keith, build large lenses, and install them —

Ali: [chuckling]

Jack: In front of the small mammals.

Keith: Yeah, the world's biggest little animal zoo —

Jack: Small animal show, yes.

Keith: Small animal zoo, yeah.

Jack: Uh, at the same time, Darren and Dudley have been contacted by a shady, uh, potential buyer for the, uh, fish. Uh, but... uh, the, the, the buyer really wants access to the fish's bank account, uh, to sort of siphon the money out of that. Uh, but Darren and Dudley are sort of still trying to figure out how to play that angle. Is there anything else here?

Keith: Uh, the, uh, uh, the... the, what is the middle thing called, where we pulled the —

Jack: Oh, the tilt.

Keith: The tilt, yes.

Jack: Uh, so, midway through a game of Fiasco, uh, we roll on something called a tilt table, and it introduces two new elements to kind of shift the story as we move into the second of two acts. Uh, and the things that we rolled on the tilt were a showdown, relating to guilt, uh, and also an innocent neighbor, uh, both of which are sort of going to get entangled in the story as we go. And then I think that that might be it.

Keith: All right. Are we good to go? Hey, how do we decide who goes first after the tilt? Is it the same order?

Jack: I think we're moving in the same order, yeah.

Keith: I think it was Ali, and then clockwise?

Jack: Yeah, it was Ali, then Devin, then Dax, then Dudley, right?

Janine: That feels, that feels true.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: Okay, sure.

Jack: Yeah, because Ali started with the excellent bird show.

Keith: Right. [chuckles] Right.

Ali: Oh, sure. Sure sure sure sure. And did we, have we... decided on the tilt? Have we spoken about what that is, or... I don't know if I just blanked out, or if we want to talk about that here before moving into the next —

Keith: Ah, sorry, talk about what before we move into the next thing?

Ali: The tilt.

Keith: The tilt. Oh, okay. Uh...

Jack: I have a pitch for it, but I know that other people also have pitches for, for how these tilt elements could get sort of rendered out.

Keith: Yeah. I, I — Jack, I liked your idea, and I think that if it comes up, uh, then like, if there's an opportunity that feels right, I think that you should do that.

Jack: Okay. That sounds, that sounds good. Uh, should we talk real briefly about how Fiasco works in play? Or should we just jump right into it?

Ali: Uh, yeah. I just, uh, I... not that we have to, like, say, “Here's what these things are.” But to just like, before we start into these scenes — we've typically done it of like... we see a person walking into a room or whatever, like, sort of like a mini, between sections.

Keith: Oh, is that true?

Ali: Thing. I feel like, I feel like I remember that from previous sessions, but maybe I'm —

Keith: I don't mind doing that.

Ali: [sighs] Uh...

Keith: We can come up with them now, and then implement them, and then start the turns.

Jack: Yeah.

Act 2 Begins [20:10]

Keith: And in that case, then I think that we probably, unless — I'll tell you my idea, and it was more — it was a lot less formed, Jack, than yours, which was —

Jack: Okay.

Keith: That the, uh, quote/unquote lions from the last season, uh, have been living in the woods since I — among other animals — have been living in the woods since I set them all free, and I've been zookeeping them, and —

Jack: [laughing]

Keith: Uh... I, I was hoping that I could use this to parlay, you know, getting my job back [chuckling] basically.

Jack: Oh my god. I mean, that is great. I mean, do we want, like, an interim scene of, uh, uh, uh, Dax letting Darren in on this, or...? [chuckles]

Keith: Uh, yeah, we could have both of these things be neighbors. Or, what is the other one? Showdown and —

Jack: Uh, a showdown because of guilt.

Keith: Guilty? With guilt, yeah.

Jack: Yeah.

Ali: Oh...

Keith: I don't know if that's a showdown, though. I thought maybe, hey, we could kill two birds with one stone.

Ali: Yeah...

Keith: Well, kill two birds with two stones, but we already have the two stones. Uh... yeah, I don't know. What do we, what do we think? I'm, I'm, I'm totally fine with either of these things, you know. I was like, it was very sort of in the moment that I had the idea for, uh, Dax's secret [laughing] zoo that then could get brought back into zoo proper.

Ali: [laughs] Uh, yeah. I, uh…

Jack: All right. Okay. Let's say this. Uh... I'm trying to figure out the, the, the, the... yeah, all right. I think I can, I think I can do a, a staging of a potential neighbor, uh, as, as an interim scene, and then we can jump in with Darren, and kind of, and kind of play it there.

Keith: Okay.

Jack: Uh, which is that, uh, Darren, how do you get to work in the morning?

Ali: I drive... a car.

Keith: Great, what kind of car?

Ali: And... [laughing] you know, there are so many types of cars in the world. With me —

Keith: I have a car for you if you, if you don't have one.

Ali: Sure. I was thinking —

Keith: I just know Darren, and I know what kind of car Darren would drive.

Ali: Okay, please. Please, please, please please please.

Jack: This is bro love.

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: Knowing your bro's car.

Ali: Assign me a persona.

Keith: It is an old Dodge Neon.

Jack: Gotta look this up.

Ali: An old Dodge... Dodge Neon. Oh, sure. Yeah. Okay.

Jack: Yes, this is [chuckling] — I could see this being a very Darren Cruiser car.

Ali: Right. It's, it's not as pathetic as station wagon vibe.

Keith: Right, it's like, it's like a little — it's not very expensive, it is a little sporty, it also kind of is everywhere, or is used to be, you know, 20 years ago.

Janine: Yeah, I'd forgotten about these.

Ali: Right. It's like sort of the type of car where it would be really cool if you got one when it was your first car.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: But when you're still using it in your 30s, it's like, “Oh, it's my old... it's the ol' Neon.

Jack: [chuckling]

Keith: [chuckling]

Ali: Uh, this is perfect.

Jack: Yeah, so you are —

Ali: I think it's powder blue.

Keith: [whispering] Wow.

Jack: Oh my god, beautiful.

Janine: Ooh.

Ali: [wheezes]

Jack: You are stopped at a stoplight, and out of the window, you see a woman on a stepladder, taking down, uh, a banner, like a banner on a, on a lamppost, advertising Zoo 2. She is, she is, she is rolling this banner up and taking it down. And you can see that she has, you know, already done her work on the, uh, on the lamppost behind, these things that used to have a Zoo 2 banner on, are gone. And at the next stoplight, someone crosses the road in front of you, holding, like two men, across the road, holding a large banner between — like a large billboard between them. And the billboard says, “Zoo 3: Zoo of the Night.”

Keith: [chuckles]

Jack: “Opening Imminently.” And then there's a picture of a moon coming out from behind some clouds.

Keith: I can't even remember who came up with Zoo of the Night, but it is so funny to me.

Ali: [giggling]

Jack: Uh, and as you drive, as you drive to the zoo, you notice that there are fewer and fewer Zoo 2 posters and billboards, and more and more Zoo 3: Zoo of the Night posters and billboards, uh, starting to make their appearance around Bluff City.

Scene 1 [25:30]

Ali: This is tough, this is tough stuff. Okay, well... I, uh, I — [giggling]

Jack: So you get to choose — oh, sorry, go on.

Ali: So it's a — no, no, no you go on.

Jack: You get to choose, as before, whether you are going to be framing a scene, in which case —

Ali: Uh-huh.

Jack: We decide how it ends. Or, whether or not you would like to decide how the scene ends, and we get to choose how to frame it for you. The noticeable difference between now and the second act is, in the first act, when we got dice, we passed them to somebody else at the end of our turn. In act 2, we keep the dice that we either assign ourselves or are assigned.

Ali: Okay.

Keith: Always keep the die.

Jack: Yes.

Keith: Great.

Ali: Right right right.

Keith: Okay. But I —

Ali: Yeah, I —

Keith: I have a small interjection. I couldn't remember this in the moment, so I asked the chat, someone remembered for me. It was, “The Biggest Little Animal Exhibit in the World,” is the name of the —

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: [chuckling]

Ali: [snorts]

Jack: [laughing] The biggest little animal exhibit.

Keith: [laughs]

Jack: Great.

Keith: Ugh... thank you.

Ali: Uh, yeah. The, I, I'm stumbling over this a little bit, because I remember ending the last session with Darren sort of making a hard turn against Dudley, and I think vowing to like, steal the fish back to protect the fish?

Jack: Ha!

Keith: Oh, is that true? I don't remember that.

Ali: There was like a vague threat, right?

Keith: Okay.

Ali: And [giggling] feeling the, like, the, the time between our sessions, and like, you know, really being honest to Darren Cruiser in, you know, in later years of life than we saw him last, I think like, sleeping on it, he's more dejected about the situation than he is, uh, —

Jack: Vengeful?

Ali: Passionate, vengeful, yes, yeah. And I think that, you know, the, the, I'm going to frame a scene, and y'all can choose the outcome. But I think that, you know, the camera following him, going to work, is a good one. And I think that, you know, there's just the sadness of him sort of clocking in, and he's putting on his little zoo windbreaker, and he's adjusting his, uh, zoo pass on his neck. His, like, security badge or whatever.

Jack: He's currently the highest ranked and only animal…

Ali: [laughing] Right. And, you know, it's before the zoo opens, and all of the lights turn on, uh... and it's him sort of, you know, quietly greeting animals as he walks by them [laughing]. And giving them, you know, there's other employees, obviously, so he's maybe saying, like, “Hey, what's up,” to like the seal feeders or whatever, and he's like, organizing —

Keith: And also the seals.

Ali: And the seals. [laughing]

Keith: Hey, what's up.

Ali: He's like, filling up like bowls of like lion — you don't feed lion food like you do dog food, I said lion for some reason. Sorry.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: It's just chunks of steak in a big dish, instead of kibble.

Janine: I hate hauling these lion kibble bags around, they're so heavy.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: [laughing] And that's why they're —

Janine: There's a picture of a meerkat on the front, and I'm like, “Is it meerkat kibble, is it made of meerkats, or is that just like, is that just like a funny joke?”

Keith: I'll tell you this: it's specially formulated.

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: Mmm. Mmm.

Janine: Ah, mmm.

Ali: Actually, Janine, do you want to be in the scene, saying that in character, as I am scooping out [laughing] this nondescript meat into bowls?

Janine: So I was going to, I was absolutely going to say that I think it makes a lot of sense for, considering that like, two people have been fired, that maybe Devin's mom was like, “Hey, sweetie, uh, you know, you're on spring break right now, or whatever, uh, you have, you have a couple of days off. Can you, can you just help out, can you just help me feed the lions and whatever, feed the animals?” And Devin's like, “Sure,” because she's like, going to be stuck there anyway, kind of thing. Uh, so I think she absolutely would be helping out. Uh, so, you're — hang on, so you're scooping lion kibble?

Ali: Uh-huh. I'm filling the bowls for —

Janine: Okay.

Ali: For, for people to come bring them into the, uh...

Janine: Yeah, I think, uh... is Devin, Devin's maybe holding the bowls while you dump the... kibble?

Ali: [laughing]

Janine: And says like —

Janine (as Devin): Why is there a meerkat on the bag?

Ali (as Darren): Oh, I... I think that might be the flavoring?

Devin: What's meerkat flavor? How is that distinct? Do lions even eat meerkats in the wild? I don't think they do.

Darren: Well, you know... they might. They live together, don't they? In the wilds?

Devin: Yeah, it's like, do wolves eat rats?

Darren: If, if they, if they gotta.

Devin: [chuckling] I guess. Do you think a rat and a meerkat have a distinct flavor? Do you think they're just giving us rat kibble? Where did we get this?

Darren: They're —

Devin: Should they even be eating — this seems... I gotta talk to mom about this, this doesn't seem right.

Darren: Well, you want, you want something exciting and palatable for the lions, you know? And I, you know, maybe a meerkat is like a, like a, like a, like a... ice cream cone. And a, a zebra is like, uh, uh, you know, beans and rice.

Keith: [laughing]

Devin: Okay.

Keith: Is this convincing?

Ali: [laughing]

Devin: I mean, I guess, I guess... I guess you, I — sure, I don't know. You work here. I just —

Darren: Well, yeah, and I, I — the lions seem to like it. And I, I think I have a good sense of lions, you know. Uh... I used to, I, I used to...

Janine: Oh...

Ali: [laughs]

Devin: Do you have a fursona or something?

Jack: It's like a gray day in Bluff City...

Ali: [wheezes]

Keith: [laughs]

Devin: It's okay if it's a fursona, you can tell me. I'm cool. Like I... I don't have one, but I have friends who have them.

Darren: No, no, no, no. My fursona is obviously a gecko. I, I had a job with lions.

Devin: I, I think that's called a scalie.

Keith: [chuckling]

Darren: I don't follow the... the forums. I just had some guy airbrush some stuff for me once.

Devin: Okay. Cool.

Ali: [cackling]

Keith: [chuckling]

Ali: I'm trying to be a depressed person, but I need to acknowledge what I just said out loud.

Janine: [laughing] You're stuck with it. You're stuck... you're stuck with this weird teen who has a, who has a —

Ali: [cracking up]

Janine: Chinchilla hanging out in her backpack. Her backpack is full of dust, and occasionally it like, ruffles around a little bit and a little puff of dust comes out.

Darren: What do you, what do you... what are you doing here, anyway?

Devin: Uh, my mom wanted me to help out, because we're a little short-staffed.

Darren: Yeah, the staff. Oh, the staff. We're going to be all right, Devin.

Devin: You okay?

Darren: No, right? We're going to be all right.

Devin: You're sounding a little poetic, it's making me nervous.

Darren: You know, you can't, you can't deny a zoo, you know? So we're going to pull through this. A zoo is a life form. A zoo is a living body. [laughing] and I — [Ali cracking up]

Devin: Word?

Darren: And I think we're going to be okay.

Keith: [laughing continuously]

Devin: Do you want some time off? I can like, maybe talk to my mom, okay?

Darren: No, no I have to be here. I have to be here. What, what's your passion? What do you come in to your job every morning for? This isn't even your job.

Devin: No. It's my mom's job. [Janine laughing] I'm not really passionate about my mom's — I mean, I like animals fine, but like...

Darren: Well, if you could have any job in the zoo...

Devin: Uh-oh. [laughing] I thought you were going to say job in the world world. Any job in the zoo? Uh...

Keith: [laughing]

Devin: Hm...

Ali: [snorts]

Devin: Uh... I read in, in the history books that there used to be these like, little girls in Canada, there's like 5 of them, they were like quintuplets or whatever, and people would just like pay to look at them, and if there was a job at the zoo like that, where I could just do whatever and people pay to look at me, that might work.

Keith: It's, “Animal.” Sorry, just passing by, I'm just a guy.

Devin: Okay.

Keith: You're describing an animal.

Ali: [laughing]

Janine: [laughing]

Devin: I mean, it's like a fucked-up thing to do to kids, or —

Keith: We don't let humans be —

Devin: Like, if you hired someone who was into it, it'd probably be fine.

Keith: Uh, yeah, that's what we thought when we tried that like 7 years ago, but we got in a ton of trouble for the human exhibit.

Devin: Hm.

Keith: Anyway, bye.

Devin: Uh, I guess person who collects the peacock feathers to sell at the gift shop, then?

Keith: I glare at you as I pick up a peacock feather off the ground, because I think you're being sarcastic, and I walk away.

Ali: [chuckling]

Jack: [laughs]

Keith: [cracking up]

Devin: I don't know if I like this new Maark guy, he's a little...

Darren: Yeah.

Devin: Maark with two As, I don't get it.

Keith: I grow on ya!

Devin: We'll see.

Darren: I don't know. I, I don't, I — I can't imagine being in it for the money?

Devin: Who's in it for the money?

Darren: That's all you just talked about?

Devin: What?

Darren: You!

Devin: No.

Darren: Oh, I want people — I don't want to do anything, and I just want to get paid for it. Oh, I want to collect these feathers and sell them in the gift shop.

Devin: Well, you're the one who asked me what job I would want here. [laughing] I'm volunteering. You're projecting, man.

Darren: I just... I want to be surrounded by passion.

Ali: [wheezes laughing]

Devin: You sure you're okay?

Jack: Oh my god. This is a fucking...

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: This is, the, the whistling rush of ennui, uh, sweeping in to fill the bro vacuum.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: No one's felt like this since the 1850s.

Jack: He lost two of his — yeah! He lost two of his bros. And the dark pain of existence came fucking sweeping in.

Ali: [snorts]

Jack: Jesus.

Janine: Zookeeping in the Time of Cholera, is what we're at.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: [chuckling]

Jack: [chuckles] Uh... ugh.

Keith: Is that the scene?

Jack: No, because we need a —

Ali: It might be, but we need a, we need an outro...

Jack: I think, I think at this point, Darren, you notice, uh, a woman sitting at the table of the, like, like, oh god, it's an outdoor area that was called [emphatically] Eat With Birds. And it was a cafeteria, it was originally, and is now very short-staffed and it's not really working — oh, go —

Keith: Jack, I'm sorry to interrupt you, but we all have our dice, still. Should these dice be in the middle again.

Jack: No, we are — the dice that are in the middle are the dice for act 2. Those 8 dice are act 2 dice.

Keith: Oh, right. We do half and half, I gotcha.

Jack: Yes.

Keith: Okay. So, and this was a, uh, this is a scene that, that Ali proposed. So we are going to give her a die.

Jack: We are going to give her a die.

Ali: Yeah, I framed the scene of, of Darren, realizing the depth of the situation he's in.

Jack: The depth. [chuckles]

Keith: And Jack, you, you just gave a die?

Jack: No, I have not given a die.

Keith: Okay.

Jack: I, I, I have an idea that will push us towards an outcome.

Keith: Okay. All right. I'm going to give a die.

Jack: Oh, do you want to do that now?

Ali: That's not mine...

Keith: Oh, right.

Jack: Or do you want to wait until we...

Keith: I can wait, I can wait.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Uh... yeah. You see a woman sitting in an area called Eat With the Birds, which was originally intended to be one of these kind of enrichment activities, where they sell the humans sandwiches, and they also sell them, like, a little tiny packet of birdseed, so that you can sit at the picnic tables and eat your sandwich, and feed the birds birdseed. What this meant in practice is that the birds eat the sandwich and the birdseed.

Keith: [chuckling]

Ali: [chuckles]

Keith: And sort of berate slash attack the people.

Jack: The people. Uh, but there are no birds there, you know, it's very early in the morning, in fact it's almost before the zoo is, it's before the zoo is opening. And there is a woman sitting at, uh, this, with her head in her hands. Uh, she is wearing a zoo uniform that has a large number 3 on the back. Uh, is not our zoo uniform. But it's looking a little shinier and looking a little fancier, and this woman is just sitting at the Eat With Birds thing looking absolutely fucking dejected.

Darren: Hey. Hey Devin.

Devin: Yeah?

Darren: Your mom ever mention, uh, a Zoo 3?

Devin: I mean, she — yeah. Like, a lot of them. But... I think she's up to like Zoo 9? I don't know, I don't think that one's going to happen.

Darren: Nine zoos?

Devin: Yeah, Zoo 9, the pitch is like, is like... under the sea? But like, she wants to have it, like, above ground, so you can like walk, and it's like, not even the sea? We got an ocean. So she wants to like, ship in stuff from seas. I don't think it's a good idea.

Darren: We're not even done with this zoo. We, we still —

Devin: I, I know. Listen. I know. They just love numbers, investors love numbers. They love it when the numbers go up, you know? That's what she says.

Darren: Do you know who that lady is?

Devin: Uh...

Ali: And he's doing like a really awkward, tilt his head [laughing] to the side, that's like very exaggerated, toward the stressed woman.

Devin: I mean, I don't know her face, but...

Jack: Uh, she looks up, and she looks at you looking at her, and just sort of like, waves weakly, and then double-takes, and says,

Jack (as Stressed Woman): Oh, uh, are you Miss Zeller?

Devin: Uh, yeah.

Jack: Uh, she has mistaken you for your mum.

Ali: [whispering] Yes.

Janine: Oh. Oh, no.

Ali: Yes. [laughing]

Stressed Woman: Oh god. Thank god, I've been looking for you. And you must be, uh, you're Darren Cruiser, right?

Darren: Mm-hm.

Jack: Uh, the woman has big bags under her eyes. She has not, she has not been sleeping. And she kind of like, nods her head and says —

Stressed Woman: Hi, uh, I'm Sam. Sam Sandwich. I'm in charge of operations at Zoo 3. Uh...

Devin: Your name's Sam Sandwich?

Sam: Yeah, what — it's Samantha Sandwich.

Devin: Okay.

Sam: Did you not get my emails?

Devin: Uh... no. Where did you send them?

Sam: Zeller@zoo2.com.

Devin: … no.

Sam: Can I take a minute of both of your time, actually? I, I got some, some — some kind of news that I want to talk through with you... something of a proposal.

Darren: Sure.

Sam: I don't know how to give it to you straight... uh, Zoo 2 is done. They're, uh, they're moving on to Zoo 3. Uh, they don't see you as profitable or as successful. I don't know what, but all we got told is that, you know, Zoo 3 is where it's at. Zoo of the Night.

Darren: They can't get rid of Zoo 2.

Sam: Well, a zoo is like a body, that's what I said. You can't get rid of a zoo. Like, spiritually. But they seem like they're going to try to get rid of a zoo sort of practically. I think that they're just cutting you guys loose.

Darren: You're going to have all these people going to Zoo 3 asking, “Where's Zoo 2?”

Sam: Yeah, and frankly, I don't want any people to come to Zoo 3. I, I, I used to work —

Darren: Well, hold up —

Sam: As head of sales, and they want me to open a Zoo of the Night. And I can't, I don't think I can —

Devin: How are you even going to — kids can't do field trips at night.

Sam: Why are you asking — I don't want to figure any of this stuff out. This is why I'm speaking to you today. Darren?

Darren: Yes.

Sam: Were you going to say something? I'm sorry, I haven't been sleeping.

Darren: Well I just, I just, I just think you make a, you make a, you make it the night. And you see the animals... at night life. And you have a club. And you...

Sam: A club?

Devin: Don't help. Don't help!

Sam: No, don't —

Devin: What are you doing?

Sam: I... look.

Devin: This is... mmm.

Sam: I heard from the councilman that you've got a week, maybe two, two bring those crowds in and show that you're really capable of what Zoo 2 was set out to, to do. And I want that so badly for you, because right now they're making us stay up at night to prep for what it's, what animals experience in the nighttime.

And that's all very well. They say that when we launch we'll be able to sleep during the day, but there's all this planning to do during the day. So really, what that means is that I just don't get to sleep. And this is all I can see for my life, for the next 10 years is running this stupid nighttime zoo. So, forgive me — I would love it if you would get your ass in gear, and give these people something, anything, that will mean that you guys get to stay open, and I don't have to go to work at night. Please.

Keith: Dice given.

Darren: You don't want a night zoo?

Ali: Yeah. [laughing] Dice switched.

Keith: Uh, no, I was messing around with multiple dice, just for, uh, just twitching around on the screen. That was a mistake.

Janine: Oh, [chuckling] but you're building tension.

Ali: I saw a black die hit my...

Keith: No, that's true. I was just fiddling with it like a —

Ali: Apron. Okay.

Keith: Like a fidget toy. But it's just the actual game.

Ali: Okay. [laughing] [snorts] Okay.

Sam: I just... I, I don't know. You have these great, all these little, these little weird fucking animals, and it would be great if we could maybe really maximize those, really bring them to a large-scale audience. I don't know if you've got anything to do there. Maybe if you could bring this fish exhibit back to life, I don't know. I, I'm on my knees here. Don't make me run a night zoo.

Devin: You could help. Why don't, why don't — you're just showing up here and asking people to do better? What — [scoffs]

Sam: I'm, I'm, I'm begging you to do better. I — I have, I haven't been able to spend time with my kids in three weeks. I got 46 minutes of sleep last night. I don't know how I can help you.

Devin: Oh, look at you, you like spending time with your children. Congrats. I'm sure they love that.

Sam: What? I don't know what you're saying.

Keith: [laughing] [cracking up] Why did my boss say that to me?

Sam: Can you do it? Please, god, can you do it? Please, god. Do anything you have to.

Devin: Anything?

Sam: Anything. I need this zoo to be the best zoo in... like, I need this... I need this. I need this to work.

Janine: The gears are turning in Devin's head [chuckling] but I'm not sure where Darren's at.

Sam: Promise me. Please, promise me. A week from now, crowds filling the zoo. Please, god, don't make me run a night zoo.

Darren: I'm... I'm, I'm, I'm — I'm disgusted. I, I can't believe somebody could be handed a night zoo... and think like this. [chuckles]

Sam: What?

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: She starts crying.

Keith: [cracking up]

Ali: [cackling]

Jack: The, the whiplash, the [chuckles] emotional whiplash.

Sam: What are you talking about? What? I was in sales. I don't know animals for shit!

Ali: [chuckling]

Sam: Last night I dreamt that I was stuck in animals —

Devin: Oh my god. I'm going to get some kleenex.

Darren: I'm... you know what? This zoo is going to turn around. And it's going to be the best day zoo, and it's going to be the best night zoo, and the next zoo that they make is going to be Zoo 2: 2. Okay?

Keith: [laughing]

Devin: That's the one where the animals do ballet, right?

Everyone: [cracking up]

Devin: Like, Fantasia-style?

Janine: Sorry, I had to say that. [laughing]

Ali: [snorts]

Janine: I was compelled.

Darren: Uh...

Jack: Yeah. I think, yeah, we just — you know, the sound cuts out, and the camera pulls away —

Ali: [cackling]

Jack: As like, uh, Sandwich just like, clasps your hands and like, nods gratefully.

Janine: [laughs] Damn. Motivation. Inspiration.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Janine: What more could you ask for?

Ali: Positive result?

Jack: Positive result.

Ali: Passion, passion rekindled. Goals on — realigned.

Jack: It's really like a, sort of like, I feel like they put Sam — Sam Sandwich is playing a separate game where she's been put in the zoo equivalent of like a saw trap. Not only does she have to invent a new zoo with no zoo experience, she's also not allowed to sleep while she does it.

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: Ugh.

Scene 2 [50:24]

Janine: Uh...

Jack: Okay, I think you're up, Janine.

Janine: Okay, yeah. Uh... I think I want to... resolve a scene?

Keith: Mmm.

Janine: Which means I need to be given some sort of scene.

Ali: Mmm... well, what are the plates spinning in Devin's head right now?

Janine: Devin is waiting for 20,000 dollars. [laughs]

Ali: [chuckling]

Jack: [chuckles]

Janine: Devin has an —

Ali: Me and you both, Devin.

Janine: Illicit chinchilla.

Ali: [snorts]

Janine: [chuckles]

Jack: Devin has just submitted a forged document —

Janine: Yes.

Jack: To be discovered in her mum's office.

Janine: Yes.

Keith: Uh —

Jack: Oh, Devin just lied to the Zoo 3 woman about being her own mother.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Janine: Without really being aware of it.

Keith: Uh, Devin and Dax have the shared need to get respect from DE Hitchcock IV, even though he's dead.

Ali: Yeah, uh...

Janine: DE Hitchcock IV, of course, being Devin's dead grandfather? Or great-grandfather? I forget which.

Jack: Something like that, right?

Janine: Yeah.

Ali: Who, she's saying was a psychic, and in his past —

Janine: Yes.

Ali: Wanted Dudley —

Janine: I can, I should, I should revisit the letter here. Uh...

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: Great letter.

Janine: Let's see.

Jack: The real Dim Liturgy prediction of the letter.

Janine: Here... let it be known that I, DE Hitchcock IV, have had a dream it that I believe to be of great import. In this dream, I stood alone in a field. A clear sky became a dark sky, menacing and bearing heavy roiling clouds — oh, Zoo of the Night — thunder deafened me. Lightning blinded me. Yet, when my sight recovered, I saw safe harbor before me. A brick house, its door open, an inviting birth to harbor those otherwise at the mercy of merciless torrents. A brick house. June 31, 1994.

Jack: Eerily prescient of Zoo of the Night, honestly.

Janine: [chuckling] Truly. That's why they, that's why he's got that reputation. Uh, at this point, I think, I don't remember if we said the letter had been left, or... I think, I think that makes the most sense, is like, that letter has been left on her mom's desk, or, or wherever. Uh... so that's like, in motion?

Jack: Yeah.

Keith: Uh, sorry, Jack, can you repeat what you had said?

Jack: Oh, I just said yeah.

Keith: Uh, no, but, before.

Ali: [chuckling]

Janine: [laughs]

Keith: Maybe I'm imagining that you had said something before Janine talked about the letter on the desk.

Jack: Uh, uh, we had talked about how she sort of unwittingly lied to Sandwich about her being her mother, uh, and then I talked about how, uh, she had that forged letter. And that's how we got into the...

Keith: Uh, maybe a scene about why you want, at this point — oh, no, I guess you don't want 20,000 dollars worth of alcohol. That 20,000 dollars was totally invented by Dudley. You presumably just wanted a normal amount of alcohol.

Janine: Oh my god, no! [laughing] She wanted, she wanted a like, like a big case of beer.

Keith: Right.

Janine: [laughing] She did not want 20,000 dollars worth of alcohol. Holy shit.

Keith: [laughs]

Jack: [chuckling]

Keith: Right, I just forgot that the weird one there was Dudley, not Devin. Uh, you've got this chinchilla, let's see.

Ali: It does feel like the followthrough here might be the outside world starting to react to that letter. And I don't know if that's like, a scene with Devin and her mom, or a scene...

Janine: Oh my god, it might be a scene with Devin and her mom.

Ali: [laughing]

Janine: We haven't done that, and it might be funny.

Jack: God, who wants to play Devin's mum. What's her mum's first name?

Janine: Oh, I forget. I had, I had a first name for her. I wonder if I put it in Slack? Let me double-check. Profile... no, I don't think I did. Uh... [drink tab opens]... Georgia.

Jack: Georgia Zeller?

Janine: Yeah.

Jack: Georgia Zeller is a good name.

Keith: Mmm.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: And we feel like, uh, Georgia Zeller's kind of a workaholic, a little bit distant, maybe —

Janine: Well, we've — we thankfully had a lot of exposure to Georgia Zeller [chuckling] via the Slack.

Keith: Mm-hm.

Janine: Uh, I've even added some new material in there. Uh...

Jack: [laughs] Excellent.

Janine: She's very, I think, like, workaholic momcore, is I guess how you would [chuckles]

Keith: Yeah, yeah.

Janine: Maybe frame it?

Jack: Anybody got a, a, a Georgia Zeller?

Keith: Uh... I don't know. I don't... I don't think I've played a lot of moms. I have a mom.

Ali: [giggling] Sure.

Jack: I could do a, I could do a Georgia, if, if unless, Ali, you had a, you had a real, you had a Georgia Zeller burning a hole in your pocket.

Ali: Not especially.

Keith: Yeah, Jack, I think it's you.

Janine: I feel like she's in your milieu a bit.

Jack (as Georgia): Devin, Devin! Yes, Devin. Come sit down. Come and sit down. Just, uh...

Devin: Yeah, okay. Everything okay? You don't normally talk to me until it's time to drive home.

Georgia: [sputters] Well, I don't think that's true. We talk all the time.

Devin: Sure... [chuckles]

Georgia: We talk all the time.

Devin: Sure.

Georgia: Uh, how are all your little friends?

Devin: Good. Uh...

Georgia: Good.

Devin: Miranda just got her second tattoo.

Georgia: G — uh, well. I'm sure that's very nice. I'm sure that's very nice. Uh... yes. And, uh, how's your day been?

Devin: Uh, fine, I've been helping out, like you asked. I helped Darren feel... feel? Feed the lions the kibble. Hey, what's that — is that stuff made out of meerkats, or is it meerkat-flavored? We couldn't figure it out.

Georgia: Hm? What?

Jack: Uh, she was typing on her computer.

Janine: [laughs]

Devin: Yeah, never mind, it's not important.

Georgia: You fed the meerkats?

Devin: No, the lions.

Georgia: Mmm. Mmm.

Devin: We fed the meerkats to the lions.

Georgia: Mmm. Mm-hm. Mm-hm. Darling, uh, I, I have something that I wanted to show you. It's about your grandfather, your great grandfather.

Devin: Mm-hm. What about him?

Georgia: Yes, yes.

Devin: Still dead, right?

Georgia: Ah? Oh, yes, yes. Uh, yes. Yes. Uh... uh, well —

Jack: And takes out, opens a drawer in her desk, and the only thing in the drawer is the letter. Uh, and takes it out and puts it on the table, and smooths it out.

Georgia: I happened to find this, in my files, uh, uh, this morning.

Devin: Mm-hm. I mean, there's lots of stuff in there, right?

Georgia: Well, all sorts of stuff in there. But, but, but, I know that you and your grandfather — well, your great-grandfather were — was he your grandfather or was he your great-grandfather?

Devin: Uh...

Georgia: It doesn't matter. Uh, I know that you and he were close, and I wondered if you might be able to just do a little bit of, uh, interpretation for me.

Devin: Sure. Like the handwriting's messy, or...

Georgia: Uh, uh... uh, yeah, maybe.

Jack: And she hands you a letter written in, uh, uh, his handwriting, and, what does Devin do when, uh, she realizes that this is a [chuckling] different letter than the one that she hid?

Janine: [laughing]

Jack: This letter was written by DE Hitchcock IV.

Janine: Mmm.

Jack: And, uh, in very messy handwriting, it says, uh, uh, much the same as the letter that you forged. This is a dark time, I see a dark time for the, for zoo, except it ends in, uh, basically a, a bleak and pitiful destruction of the zoo. Uh, uh, and the creation of its successor.

Janine: Ah, fuck.

Devin: Uh, I don't know. This could be about any zoo.

Georgia: Uh, it could be.

Jack: Uh, your mother can't read it. [wheezes]

Janine: Really? Not at all?

Jack: Uh, well, she, she is not able to, uh, she — the handwriting is messy, and, uh, she can't draw out the metaphor. The subtlety is, is lost on her.

Keith: [laughs]

Devin: Hm. Well, I mean, what do you think it means, mom?

Georgia: Well, it's talking about some sort of a storm, isn't it?

Devin: Yeah.

Georgia: Uh, and it's talking about how, well, obviously things are hard after we, after we lost Dax, and that fish.

Devin: Mm-hm.

Georgia: Uh... well, I know that your grandfather would often say things that would get borne out, and, uh, you know, I suppose I'm, I'm wondering whether there's anything that, that we should be, that we should be doing here.

Devin: You know, uh, I think maybe... maybe there is. You know? I, it's, it's been tough. Like, you had to ask me to like, pick up extra tasks around the zoo, and like, I don't — you're not paying me. Other than my allowance, I guess you do pay me that, but, you know, I... maybe there are some things that we should be doing, maybe that's what it means. Maybe it means that like, you know, uh... a thing that, that... that grandpa always said about storms was that, uh, was that you gotta go inside when it starts raining, you know? You gotta go into the place that you share with your family, and everyone's gotta get in there.

Georgia: Mmm. Mmm.

Devin: Uh, and everyone's gotta, gotta do their best to throw a really big party. Uh, during the storm. Uh... to get, make sure that all the family is back [chuckling] back inside together. Uh... so maybe this means that, like, we need to, we need to, to get everyone back, and do some kind of big thing. Uh, because that's what you do in a storm.

Georgia: So you're saying that we should, we should plan some sort of an event.

Devin: Yes. Oh, it could be, it could be storm-themed. Maybe that's what he meant. Maybe it's like, it's like a, like a Noah's Ark thing, you know? People love that.

Georgia: So the, the — is there an actual storm coming?

Devin: I mean... uh, I don't watch the news.

Jack: Uh, do we have a dice here?

Janine: Uh, right. I have to resolve, so I have to pick. Uh, I guess I'm picking whether or not she buys it.

Keith: That's the beauty of, uh, —

Jack: And you're choosing for yourself here, which is — [chuckles] yeah.

Keith: Yeah, the beauty of resolving.

Janine: Yeah...

Keith: I'll tell you what I would pick, if I were you.

Jack: [chuckles]

Janine: I mean, I know what I want to pick. [laughing] I feel selfish doing it, but...

Keith: Yeah.

Janine: Actually, mmm...

Keith: I like it.

Janine: Yeah, I guess the numbers are close enough. I was wondering if like, if I pick the 3, because when you have to weigh the dice out, would it be better for everyone? It doesn't matter, though, it's a 2 versus a 3. I think she buys it, just because, I think... Georgia Zeller is, is a very inattentive person. Not exactly gullible, but I think it's just like, she just wants stuff to keep moving.

Jack: Well, right now, she's handling the sale of like, an ostrich, uh, —

Janine: Yeah.

Jack: On her second monitor.

Keith: And is finding stewards for the next 7 zoos.

Jack: [chuckles] Right. I don't know how, I don't know how, Janine, how high-ranking she is in the like, large-scale zoo project. Does she know about the other zoos? Or rather, is she involved in the planning for the other zoos?

Janine: I think, I think that's what I said at the time, but I imagine it's a thing of just like, there's a, there's a meeting, and a bunch of people are at the meetings, and some people are just sitting there, but other people are the ones who are like, at the whiteboard being like —

Keith: She's just one of the cooks.

Janine: “Right, right, Zoo 8, that's uh, that's the Zoo of Tomorrow.”

Keith: Zoo 8, Open Late. Ah, that's too close to Zoo of the Night!

Jack: [chuckles]

Janine: [chuckles]

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: Uh, yeah, okay. I think she buys it. Uh, uh, but I think that what she says, as a sort of, as the sting in the tail, is —

Georgia: What does it say about me?

Devin: Oh, uh... Uh... it says that... uh...

Jack: You have an opportunity here, to shape your relationship with your mother.

Janine: Yeah, yeah. Uh... that's the thing, right? Uh...

Keith: Something people rarely get opportunities to do.

Jack: And in a sense, this is, this is part of the the white die, as well. You have a potential moment of authorship here, in terms of your —

Janine: Yeah. Uh... I think [laughs] I think Devin like, gestures to part of, near the sort of bottom of the letter, uh, —

Devin: Well, there's this part here, right, that kind of... it's a little bit ambiguous, because it could kind of refer to either one of us. Uh... but, it, it sort of talks about, uh, it sort of talks about, like, being really reliable, and trustworthy, and like, uh, responsible. But it could, you know, because... you know. It could kind of go either way. It didn't use anyone's name. I think that's probably true, he probably thought of you like that, right?

Georgia: Hm. Yes. Yes. Yes. Uh...

Devin: Can I have a higher allowance? Because like, I'm helping out at the zoo and stuff?

Georgia: You know what? Uh...

Jack: I think she reaches into her desk drawer and pulls out a, a zoo badge with a Sharpie on slot, and she writes “Devin” in a careful hand, on the badge, in a Sharpie, and hands it to you, and says —

Georgia: You're part of the zoo now, Devin. Get it done.

Devin: Oh. I'm getting paid? Or am I still not getting paid?

Georgia: Well, I'm going to have to talk to payroll, but, but, but —

Devin: Okay.

Georgia: Trustworthy. Capable.

Devin: Like mother, like daughter...

Georgia: Like mother, like daughter.

Jack: Already looking at her [laughs] her phone.

Janine: Ostrich auction website. [chuckles]

Jack: [chuckles] Yeah. Uh, but yeah. I think you have, you have functionally been deputized.

Janine: Hell yeah. We're going to get this zoo on track. [chuckles] The Zeller way.

Keith: Can you, in turn, deputize the chinchilla? Do you have the power to deputize?

Jack: [chuckles]

Janine: Oh, yeah.

Keith: A little badge. Little hat.

Jack: This is the inverse — the story rhymes, this is the inverse of the firings. Uh, Devin gets, uh, quote/unquote “hired,” and immediately hires the chinchilla.

Keith: [laughing]

Janine: [chuckles]

Keith: And in one of them, there's fewer animals, especially chinchillas, and in this one, there's more animals, especially chinchillas.

Jack: Yeah. It's like poetry.

Keith: Yeah.

Scene 3 [1:08:42]

Jack: Uh... okay. Keith.

Keith: Uh, yeah.

Jack: I think it's you.

Keith: Okay. Uh, I'm going to frame a scene.

Jack: Okay.

Keith: Uh, you may have noticed, in the little chat thing —

Ali: [chuckling]

Keith: That's up, the text messages between Dax and Darren. But I'm inviting Darren to the woods.

Jack: [chuckling]

Janine: Oh my god.

Ali: Yeah, okay. All right.

Janine: So many murder cases start like this.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: [giggles]

Keith: Well, this is a spot, this is the spot. We both know about the spot. We used to hang out in the spot. Everyone who's got a best friend knows about the spot in the woods where you go to hang out with your friend in the woods.

Jack: Mmm.

Keith: Classic best friend...

Ali: Yeah.

Janine: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

Keith: Thing.

Ali: They go out there with, uh... like a sword, and hit trees, probably.

Jack: [laughs]

Ali: They throw a ball around.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: They probably drink out there.

Keith: Break branches in half by jumping on 'em.

Ali: Oh, obviously. Yeah, duh.

Keith: Yeah. Uh... occasionally, break rocks in half to see if there's like a geode inside.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: I have... [chuckles] I have a curtain. A big, like a velvet, like a theater curtain. And, uh, it's suspended between two trees. There is a pulley system, it works. Uh... there's —

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: Sign, there's a wooden, it is like, uh, the Platonic ideal of like a wooden sign, that is like, in the ground, and carved into it, uh, it says, “Zoo Free.” And then, down at the — in the small text, it says, “Zoo by Dax.”

Keith (as Dax): Uh, I'm doing it.

Darren: Wait... wait, wait, wait. Zoo by Dax?

Dax: I — I got a zoo. I have a zoo.

Darren: This is a zoo?

Dax: This is m- a zoo.

Darren: What — what exhibits do you have, man? Where's the animals, bro?

Dax: Okay.

Keith: I gesture to the curtain. I want to step back —

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: This is what I'm, this is what I'm envisioning. Does anyone remember the early episode of the original Pokemon series, where that guy runs his own gym? It is an unofficial Pokemon gym, where he's got the sandshrew, and he's got his own line of pet food? A bunch of people know exactly what I'm talking about, so it's fine if you don't.

Ali: [laughing] I unfortunately do not.

Keith: Uh, [laughs] but I, I have got, uh... I have got a sort of backwoods gym — not gym, zoo, it's not a gym. We're not fighting animals, uh, but I am training animals, uh... I pull the curtain, and there's a handful of exhibits. It's mainly a couple stages of large mammals, including the leopards from season one. They're no longer —

Ali: These are... here?

Keith: What's that?

Ali: Or this is like a model.

Keith: No, they're they're.

Ali: [giggling] Okay. Okay. Okay, okay. There's leopards in the middle of this...

Keith: Yes.

Ali: Okay. Okay.

Keith: There's... uh, some other, you know, animals. And then there's a proof of concept, uh, shrews and moles in small enclosures, with sort of, you know, lenses, smaller, small lenses, over the cages, sort of blowing it up so that you can, you can get like a bigger, clearer picture of what's going on inside the cage, because they, they've got the lenses over them. It's Zoo Free.

Darren: A free zoo.

Dax: A free zoo.

Darren: You know, it's nice out here, man. You've got the air, you've got the trees. This is where animals deserve to be.

Dax: This is where animals deserve to be. You know, take 'em out of the cages. Let 'em walk around.

Darren: Let 'em walk around, I've been thinking this.

Dax: They don't — they're cooped up. We're — this is why, you know, you go to the zoo, and you're like, “They should be eating gazelle.” And it's like, “No, we've got to feed them the lean, uh, meerkat kibble, because they don't get enough exercise, so they have, they can't eat the nicer, fattier kibbles.”

Darren: Woah... see, this is why we need you at the zoo, man. Nobody there knows anything about food.

Dax: Oh, yeah? Were you talking about the meerkat kibble today? [chuckles]

Darren: Yeah. I, I thought, I thought the lions were, were eating it because it was like a different flavor.

Dax: No, it's because — well, it is a different flavor. But it's like, it's like, uh, it's like, lean, it's like lean meat. Because they just sit there, all sad.

Darren: Can I tell you something, man?

Dax: Yeah.

Darren: They're about to shut that place down.

Dax: What? Zoo 1?

Darren: They're making a — they're making a Zoo 3, and they're —

Dax: They're making a Zoo 3?

Darren: And they're not even, it's not a continuation of — it's not the next chapter of Zoo 2.

Dax: Oh, they're shutting down Zoo 2?!

Darren: They're shutting down Zoo 2.

Dax: Zoo 2's brand-new!

Darren: It isn't even a zoo yet. It, it hasn't matured.

Dax: No. A zoo is like a body.

Darren: They're abandoning it.

Ali: [giggles]

Darren: I — oh, bro...

Dax: This is a baby of a zoo. This is a living baby. So it's going to go, Zoo 1, Zoo 3: Zoo of the Night?

Darren: Zoo of the Night. Zoo 3: Zoo of the Night. They're not even giving, they won't even give Zoo 2 the chance to shine in the day and the night.

Dax: It makes me sick.

Darren: And what are people going to do? They're going to go, they're going to go to Zoo 3 and they're going to be saying, “Where's Zoo 2? And there's not going to be a Zoo 2.”

Dax: How are you going to have a Zoo 1 and a Zoo 3: Zoo of the Night, and not have a Zoo 2?

Darren: This is what I'm saying, man, they don't know zoos.

Dax: They don't know zoos.

Darren: They don't care about zoos.

Dax: They just care about numbers.

Darren: They just care about money.

Dax: And number of zoos.

Darren: Sure. Well, money's a number.

Dax: Yeah, money's a — is a, a very important number. Speaking of money... gotta get a little, gotta get a little cash, gotta get a little cash flow injection.

Darren: Oh, you need some investments? You got, you already got all the trees.

Dax: Zoo — I mean, Zoo Free... [scoffs] Zoo Free ain't free.

Ali: [cackling]

Dax: Zoo Free... but it ain't free. To, to make, to build it. I, it's gotta be, it's gotta be big. It's gotta be so big, people will say, “Why would we go to Zoo 3... we could go to Zoo Free.” And then we got 'em. [pause] You know your friend Dudley?

Darren: Yeah. Yeah, yeah — what about, what about —

Dax: There something going on there?

Darren: With Dudley?

Dax: Yeah, with Dudley.

Darren: Oh, Dudley... Dudley... Dudley's in the past, man.

Dax: Dudley's in the past.

Darren: He's breaking codes...

Dax: What?

Darren: He's breaking codes, he's —

Dax: Breaking codes, what code?

Ali: [wheezes]

Darren: Species code, man.

Dax: Species code...

Darren: He's endangering that fish.

Dax: He's endangering that fish?

Darren: Yeah.

Dax: Well... why don't you say that you and me —

Keith: I take out something from my pocket —

Dax: [with altered high voice] Get that — oh, no! [deep voice] Get that fish back. Fuck that was going to be so cool! Fuck! Fuck! God — [normal voice] Damn it, I thought that was going to be so cool.

Darren: Wait, you're the guy?

Dax: But we should get that fish back.

Darren: You're the phone guy?

Dax: Yeah. I knew right away he took the fish! He smeared butter all over it. All over the enclosure, there was butter everywhere. Of course I knew right away it was, it was Dudley!

Darren: Oh... what are you going to do with the fish? The fish can't be out here in the middle of the woods?

Dax: Reward money! Reward money. We could get, you know, give the fish back. Let it sit in its tank where it's supposed to be. Get some reward money, build up Zoo Free. Get some bigger lenses.

Darren: Uh...

Ali: [laughs] Yeah? [snorts]

Jack: I was about to say, “I text you.” And then I realized that I can text you.

Keith and Ali: [laughing]

Ali: Uh-huh? Oh my god. [snorts] Oh my god. [wheezes] Oh my god.

Keith: [cracking up]

Darren: Oh, bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. He's texting me right now, man. He's texting me right now, man.

Dax: What? What? What?

Darren: Oh, he's going to give the fish back.

Dax: What?! God, that — but that's the right thing to do! But I wanted to steal the fish and do the right thing and get the reward money!

Darren: Well, what do I say? What do I say? I, I — how, how are you today? That's not texting. People don't text that. You've got to help me out here, man.

Dax: But — I — but what about the guy, what about [deep voice] what about this guy?

Ali: [snorts]

Dax: [deep voice] I've got, I had it all set up! Ah, [normal voice] Fuck!

Ali: [snorts]

Darren: Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. We gotta — I gotta think on the third level here.

Dax: Okay.

Darren: I gotta, I gotta see this like a bird. Okay, hold on.

Dax: What's the first level? Wait, what is the first level?

Darren: The first level is... wait, we got... mmm. We gotta take the money from the zoo, from, from, from the big banks and the... and the, the, the animal unallianced. And we gotta, we gotta, we —

Ali: [snorts]

Dax: I hate this. I hate —

Darren: He's texting me, man.

Dax: You're floundering. You're floundering.

Ali: [snorts]

Darren: We gotta take the money and put it into Zoo Free, and [sputters] abandon — I can't abandon the zoo, man, I don't know [crying sounds] I don't know what to do.

Dax: Okay.

Ali: [snorts]

Dax: It's fine. It's okay. I want, I — I thought that... the universe was giving me this money.

Darren: It's coming from the zoo.

Dax: No, but I — I don't know that the universe isn't giving — it was going to come from the zoo the whole time, I knew that. But I mean like, the opportunity was being given to me...

Darren: Like you earned it, man, because you saw it.

Dax: Like I earned, I earned it.

Darren: You saw it like a bird, from level 3.

Dax: Right. I am, I'm standing in the stream of life, and I snatched this fish. But... I can't stop someone from doing the right thing for themselves. I won't do that.

Ali: [sputters]

Dax: Even if that guy's a piece of shit, by the way.

Ali: [snorts] [rattling]

Darren: He's a — he's — he's literally having a change of heart.

Ali: And I point to my phone.

Dax: He's a wildcard! What is he saying?

Darren: [sighs] He's saying, the fish needs to be in there. I'm not good, bro. Back in the tank. I will get my own punishment in the court of god, bro. Where are you, bro? I need to apologize to Dax. It's weighing on my heart, bro. This is, this is the, this is the soul of a man who, who, who can be, who can be brought back.

Dax: This is the wish-washy nature of a small mammal feeding, fish stealing, uh, uh, — this guy's not cool, man!

Darren: He's going to amend his deeds, man.

Dax: I will not stop him from amending his deeds.

Ali: [laughing]

Dax: Zoo Free was a, was a... is. An amazing dream. But if a dream it must remain, then so be it.

Darren: There's too many zoos. No, there's — there's gotta be infinite zoos. What am I saying?

Dax: Did you — wait, did you just say, “There's got to be infinite zoos?”

Jack: Is this an existential belief that Darren has?

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: [chuckling]

Jack: I have to know how you got to, “There's, there should be infinite zoos.”

Ali: Well, because he was about to say, “There's too many zoos,” and then realized that that was a betrayal of his heart.

Jack: [chuckles]

Janine: Every body is a zoo.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: I will not rest until [laughing] every body is a zoo.

Ali: But I get, okay — so, to, to move through the panic here.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: Darren was initially like, “We should get the, the 20,000 dollars to take it away from —“

Keith: Yeah. This is in character, but you're talking in the third person? This is a new thing that you're doing?

Ali: No. [laughing] I'm talking out of character.

Keith: Darren was originally like...

Ali: [snorts]

Jack: Yeah, we've figured out a way to break Friends at the Table.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: [laughing] Darren turns into stan — like a tunnel project weirdo, and then a different voice comes out of him, explaining his narration —

Jack: [laughs]

Ali: Because he's too overwhelmed to... to exist as a person in this moment. Uh...

Jack: No, I think you're right.

Ali: But he was like, he was like, “Let's take the money from the zoo, the zoo's being abandoned anyway, we'll take it from the greedy zoo overlords. We'll invest it into Free Zoo, hands are tied.” Dudley suddenly wants to do the right thing, and passion of the soul is more important than investments for Darren, [laughing] and... and, he can't abandon the zoo. He can't.

Keith: Zoo 2.

Ali: Right.

Jack: So what, what has happened is like...

Ali: [snorts]

Jack: There's a version of this where... god. There's a version of this where if Dax and Darren convinced Dudley to actually go ahead and sell the fish, unknowingly to them, they could use that money to like, save the zoo, right? They could bring Zoo Free into the Zoo 2 fold?

Keith: Right.

Jack: But it sounds like Darren is — sorry, it sounds like [chuckles] Dax is actually like, “Look, it's important for him to come good.”

Keith: Yes.

Jack: And I don't want to touch that money.

Keith: Right.

Jack: He's a good man, bro. Dax.

Ali: [chuckling]

Keith: Dax is just a guy in the woods with a leopard and a shrew, trying to do his best. A bear. [pause] Uh...

Jack: We have to give Keith a dice.

Keith: Darren, in the chat, or in the text thread, is saying to Dudley, “I'm sorry — sorry, I'm with penguins.” Dudley says, “Tell the penguins hi,” cat face crying, Darren says, “They said what's up, they're blessing your spirit, man.” [laughs]

Ali: [wheezes]

Janine: [laughing]

Keith: Uh, so, so, to, to get back into it, to, you know, set us up back in a conversation to see what the die is, uh, uh... where did we leave off, so that we can jump in, and...

Ali: Uh... [laughing]

Keith: God.

Ali: I'm getting texts [laughing]

Keith: This is so fucked up. I was set, I was setting myself up for that black die, but...

Ali: I feel like this, this — and not to metagame too much, but I feel like this could be a black die in terms of like, Dax giving up Free Zoo, and like losing this fish plan.

Keith: Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

Ali: And then, does it become like, a, a re-, uh, —

Keith: Yeah, I think you're right, because I, I, I think it was really sad to watch Dax be kind of dejected, going through the, the... daily zoo business, trying to get a scam going, but nothing's happening, and then having to fire, uh, uh, Dudley, and we just like, “Ugh, I don't feel like myself,” and then the Free Zoo thing, I did feel like myself, and then I was like, “No, I can't, I can't be myself with Free Zoo if that means stealing a fish to return for the reward money that was going to get returned anyway.” And then, so I've got, I can't, I've got to put, Dax has got to put himself on hold again.

Ali: Right. It's like a reinvestment into the failing Zoo 2, which is...

Keith: Right.

Ali: Uh...

Keith: Corporate zoo.

Ali: Corporate zoo. It's, it's, it's, it's, uh, —

Keith: It's not Zoo Free, it's not The Zoo of the World.

Ali: It's not The Zoo of the World, you know, it's not the zoo of his heart. Uh, it is a downgrade, to recommit to —

Keith: Heart of the World...

Ali: To somebody else's zoo.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: Uh, so, I'm, I'm going to give you this black die. And I don't know [chuckling] if we want to acknowledge it in the scene, or change it [laughing] because —

Keith: I'll, I'll — here's what I'll do, I will go over to the leopards, who I'm acknowledging as leopards, no longer making them pretend to be lions.

Jack: That's character growth.

Keith: It is. I mean, think about it. I was putting, Dax Leopard was putting a mask, on a leopard.

Jack: Wow.

Keith: What the fuck.

Jack: That's fucked up, man.

Keith: And I grab, I grab the leopard by, uh, his broad cheeks...

Jack: [chuckling]

Keith: And I stare into his eyes, and I say, “I'm sorry, leopard.” And I give him a marshmallow. And then he thinks I'm giving him a treat for doing a trick, so he does a trick.

Jack: Uh, what trick does he do?

Keith: Uh, he stands on his hind legs and hops in a circle, like a Jack Russell terrier might. But [chuckles] he's a big leopard. He's 800 pounds.

Jack: Oh-ho-ho. [laughing]

Keith: [laughs]

Jack: Bless us all.

Darren: Man... how, however this ends up... I'm just glad we're following the species code.

Dax: Gotta follow the species code.

Darren: We gotta do right by our fellow man, bro. Even when our man betrays us.

Dax: God. The species code includes man.

Keith: I say that to myself.

Darren: It's easy to forget, bro.

Dax: It's easy to forget.

Darren: We'll have a Free Zoo.

Keith: I pull the theater curtains closed, and [chuckling] walk out of the woods.

Ali: [chuckling]

Jack: Okay. Okay.

Keith: Oh, wait, I take out a sign that I already had, and hang it over the wooden sign, that says, “Theoretical.” I already had it.

Jack: [laughs] Just ready. Just in case.

Keith: [laughs]

Scene 4 [1:31:45]

Jack: Uh... yeah. God. I'm going to frame a scene. Dax, there's a knock on your door, in the evening.

Keith: Okay.

Jack: And when you open it, Dudley is standing there, and he's holding a bottle of Gold Top Milk.

Keith: I stare at the milk —

Jack (as Dudley): Hi.

Keith: For like, 4 full seconds, before looking up at Dudley. [chuckles]

Dudley: Hey, Dax.

Dax: Dudley.

Dudley: I, uh, can I come in?

Dax: Yeah.

Dudley: I brought you this. It's, uh, it's the best milk. And I know milk.

Dax: That's awesome, thank you.

Keith: I take it, and I open my fridge, and I put it next to an identical milk that has, uh, DC initials on it.

Jack: [chuckles]

Dudley: Bro, I... I'm really in it, man. I'm really... and I wanted to come and talk to you.

Dax: Yeah?

Dudley: About my soul.

Dax: … okay.

Dudley: Yeah. Remember that day...

Jack: It was like a week ago, but, but, uh, Dudley is speaking as though it was, you know.

Keith: Yeah. It was maybe less than a week.

Dudley: Remember that day when... when I told you about what I'd been doing to your chinchillas?

Dax: I do remember.

Dudley: Yeah, I don't think that was mega-cool of me.

Dax: Uh, no, man, it was a little bit fucked-up.

Dudley: I don't think it's, uh, good, spiritually, for the chinchillas.

Dax: No, you didn't follow the species code.

Dudley: The what?

Dax: The species code!

Dudley: I don't know what, what is the species code?

Dax: I thought you were friends with Darren, man!

Dudley: I don't know, we don't really hang out like that.

Dax: Oh.

Dudley: We're more like milk bros.

Dax: [sighs] Species code is... you've gotta do, you've gotta do what's right for animals. And it has to work out for everyone.

Dudley: That's kind of hard, man. That kind of puts me in like, a —

Dax: You can't do what's — you can do what's right for a snake by feeding a chinchilla to a snake, but that's not right for the chinchilla. Because the snake has its own food to eat.

Dudley: How does, how do you like, solve conflict in the species code, man?

Dax: It's a painful process.

Dudley: I'm sorry, man. I, I — if I had this apparatus of, you know, thinking about the world, maybe I wouldn't have fed all those chinchillas to Ralph.

Dax: You need an apparatus to get through life.

Dudley: Yeah, a lot of mine is like, milk-focused, bro, but —

Dax: That's whack, bro.

Dudley: I don't know, and then there's all that shit with the fish. I mean, I don't know. Can I trust you, bro?

Dax: Yeah.

Dudley: It's about the species code, you're not going to like it.

Dax: I know. But, I've gotta... I've gotta follow species code.

Dudley: In like a moment of heightened existential pain, I stole the, the fish, bro. He's in my house.

Dax: I know.

Dudley: You know?

Dax: Yeah. You left an extremely large amount of evidence at the scene.

Dudley: Fuck, bro.

Dax: Yeah.

Dudley: Fuck. Ugh! And now I don't know what to do about it, right? Because, because this fish isn't happy, the species code... it needs to be back in its home, right?

Dax: Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

Dudley: But also, this fish is worth like a load, like an absolutely fucking load of money, man.

Dax: Yeah. That fish is worth an absolutely fucking load of money.

Dudley: And like, that money could be turned to good things. Like, something good could come out of this bad time. Like, my misdeeds could be brightened in the eyes of god, man.

Dax: I don't know what that means — I don't know why you think that. Wait, by taking the fish your misdeeds —

Dudley: No, bro. Like, that money could be turned to something good, man.

Dax: Like what? Like butter? Nice butter?

Dudley: Like fixing the fucking pickle. No, like fixing the fucking pickle in the zoo, bro. How everybody in the zoo is sad, and they're closing us down —

Dax: [sighs]

Dudley: For some fucking reason.

Dax: There's a pickle stuck in the zoo, now?

Dudley: No, it's a, it's a metaphor, bro.

Dax: Oh, okay.

Dudley: Look, I'm, I'm, I'm struggling, man. I'm struggling to tell you. Look, look, look.

Dax: Ugh.

Dudley: Here's my question, bro.

Dax: Yeah.

Dudley: And I'm asking you this honestly with my heart.

Dax: Yeah.

Dudley: Is that money better served doing something else than giving the fish back?

Dax: It doesn't matter, man. You've gotta give the fish back.

Dudley: But then who, then the zoo gets the money. Like, the corporate overdogs get the money, man.

Dax: We've gotta get that money in a way that follows species code.

Dudley: Mmm. Mmm.

Jack: Big swig of milk.

Ali: [chuckles]

Dudley: What do you mean, bro? Because like, right now I think I've figured out how to get into that fish's bank account.

Dax: … okay.

Dudley: So if there's some way I can make this right, financially...

Dax: You want to return the fish, take the money, save the zoo.

Dudley: When you put it like that, bro, is there any other way to do it?

Dax: I'm just one man.

Dudley: You're not just one man. You're Dax Leopard, man. You're named after an animal.

Dax: That's singular. Only one Dax, only one Leopard. I'm saying I don't have the answers. I can just do what feels right.

Jack: I need a dice.

Ali: Yeah, I would... oh, that's not to me, okay. [laughing] I saw when Dax was like, please god. [laughing] Uh...

Jack: [chuckles]

Ali: I was... we only have one white die left.

Keith: We sure do.

Ali: So... we have to be careful with the way that we play it. Uh... so —

Jack: Well, I've just received a text. I think, this, we can, we can use this to color our decision. Uh, I think Dudley just goes —

Dudley: Yes. Yes! Get it! Yes! Yes. Ugh.

Dax: Why are, why are you elevated right now, bro?

Dudley: I got my job back!

Dax: What?!

Dudley: My — I got my job back, bro!

Dax: What do you mean you got your job back?

Dudley: I'm fucking employed at the zoo, bro!

Dax: Why... why did you get your job back?

Dudley: I'm... I, I'm employed at the zoo in a fucking... like... job capacity.

Ali: Bloop bloop!... goes Dax's cell phone. [wheezes]

Dudley: What?

Dax: [reading] Come back to the zoo. What? Why?

Ali: [wheezes]

Dax: [texting] Why did you give Dud his job back? He killed like... 200 animals.

Dudley: Can you type this instead of using the voice notation? It's freaking me out, bro.

Dax: Sorry. The milk bottle was sticky when you handed it to me, so, I didn't want to touch my phone screen.

Dudley: Yeah, it's — it's hard. If, if our, if our, if my job is back... okay. No, I can't, the species code. I have to give the fish back. But if my job is safe... ah. Uh, uh...

Dax: I think I got... I got... yeah. I got my job back too.

Dudley: Okay. Okay.

Dax: Okay.

Dudley: We got our jobs back.

Dax: Does this change anything?

Dudley: Yeah. I owe 25,000 dollars to Devin Zeller.

Dax: Oh, that's bad.

Dudley: Yeah, yeah. I know. I was celebrating, I was elevated, and now I am, I have, I am, because — okay. Cards on the table, bro. I sell the fish, 20,000 dollars of that goes to Devin Zeller in order to get my job back. But the fish goes back home. No, the fish goes back home, bro! The fish goes back home, bro.

Dax: Uh... okay. I do have bad news.

Dudley: No, no, no. I'm making good on the species code.

Dax: I have bad news. You don't have a buyer for the fish.

Dudley: No, I spoke to the man. He's, he's very sinister and he will buy the fish.

Dax: [deep voice] Uh, that was me. Sorry.

Ali: [laughing]

Dax: [normal voice] Sorry, bro.

Ali: [cackling]

Dax: I was, had to give the fish back, so I was going to trick you.

Dudley: How is this the species code, bro?

Dax: [deep voice] Uh, you violated species code, and I was trying to put things back in alignment.

Ali: [snorts]

Dudley: No!

Dax: [normal voice] And I was going to use the reward money for returning the fish to fund a free, a Zoo Free in the woods. [deep voice] Sorry.

Dudley: This sucks, bro. Okay. We can figure this out.

Dax: Hey, but that means that you're not on the hook to a scary guy, right?

Dudley: No, but it means I'm on the hook to fucking Devin Zeller, bro!

Dax: [sucks teeth] Yeah, but I don't... care about that.

Dudley: I do, man! It's the species code, man! I've been empowered by virtue!

Dax: I don't think you have a good understanding of the species code yet. This is not a fully-formed apparatus. I'm just saying you can't —

Jack: Did this dice change from white to black?

Dax: Just say species code —

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: Say again?

Jack: Did this dice change from white to black?

Ali: [wheezes] It did.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: I was like, I was like, it's, it's a white die because they have their jobs back.

Keith: Right.

Ali: But then the abandonment of the fish plan, and the fact that the closer the characters get to a zoo that is going to be shut down is actually a tragedy that you don't want to have happen, you don't want to think that it's good that they're getting their job back, when the story is actually saying that it's a bad thing.

Jack: Oh, I think you're absolutely right.

Ali: So you're getting a black [laughing] die.

Keith: That does still fit with me getting the black on the last one.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Dudley: We got — I'm asking you, I'm asking you, bro to bro. We gotta smooth this out, man.

Dax: I mean, what is she going to do, fire you?

Dudley: I will not renege on my word to a child, bro.

Ali: [giggling]

Dudley: Bro, I need 25,000 dollars and I need to save the zoo.

Dax: That's... that's, I think you're a little short on the money.

Dudley: We gotta save the zoo, bro.

Jack: And he just gets up and leaves.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: I can't tell. Is he going to give the fish back?

Jack: I think his plan... [sputters] if he can give the fish back and keep the money, good. He is now in the hole to —

Keith: Oh, right, because he's saying that he can take the money, and, uh, Dax is fine with that, basically. Money is not part of the species code.

Jack: Right. [pause] Oh, okay. Uh...

Keith: I mean, I don't have to, I don't care about who, who that, you know — that's just like in a bank account, that's not, that's not someone's money.

Ali: Animals don't trust paper, man.

Keith: Animals don't trust paper at all.

Janine: Those wasps that make paper nests probably do, but that's it.

Ali: I meant to say chase paper, but, yeah, I guess it's the same thing.

Janine: [chuckles] Lots of animals will chase paper.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: [giggling] They're not chasing the bread, they're not chasing the dollar bill.

Janine: [laughs] They'll do that too! It's called ducks.

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: All right, you're up, Ali.

Break [1:46:45]

Ali: I actually was going to ask, because we've done a full round. Could we take like a 5 minute break?

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: That's a great idea.

Keith: That's fine with me.

Janine: Yeah.

Ali: Okay.

Keith: All right.

Jack: All right. Bye!

Ali: BRB.

Janine: Bye...

Keith: [making TV transition noises with tongue] We're back!

Ali: We're back!

Jack: We're back!

Ali: Thank you to Wayne's World magic, we've returned to the podcast we were doing, and we're about to start our final round of Fiasco.

Keith: Ever.

Ali: It is my turn... ever. We're never playing Fiasco again.

Keith: Aw, that would break my heart.

Jack: Not true!

Janine: Woah.

Ali: [laughing] Aw.

Keith: That would be so sad if that were true.

Jack: Immediate, immediate rejection of this idea from everybody.

Ali: [giggles] Uh...

Keith: I think that I would play Fiasco... every other month, and be happy.

Ali: Okay. Yeah.

Keith: That's my, that's probably my limit on Fiasco.

Ali: Every other month, okay, yeah.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: You would get burnt-out, every month.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: Every week is unheard of.

Keith: Absolutely unheard of.

Ali: Every other month... every other month, why not?

Keith: Why not.

Scene 5 [1:48:00]

Ali: Call me up. Uh, okay. So... [giggling] we have, last round, shake-ups, people have their jobs back, where we need to revitalize Zoo 2, to prevent Zoo 3, uh, and I think the, I feel like —

Keith: Or allow Zoo 3, but as a, to co-exist with Zoo 2. Is another possibility.

Ali: Right, sure. Right. Well that, that's —

Jack: Thereby giving this woman the worst job of her entire life.

Ali: [chuckles]

Keith: Well, it would take a lot of pressure off, I think.

Jack: Oh, that's true, I suppose.

Ali: Oh, because she, she wouldn't be the only zoo in town.

Keith: Right.

Ali: The only sequel zoo in town.

Keith: Right. [chuckles] Yes.

Ali: Uh... I feel like the natural progression here is... Darren, doing some of the party planning that was [laughing] just requested of him, from the Darren/Devin private texting. Uh... in case people were reading the screen, or if they're just listening to this, uh, Darren received a text that said, “Hey, I borrowed my mom's Blackberry, and I need you to help me plan the biggest zoo party that's ever happened. I think I can get a corporate card for all the expenses... or not, if I know mom's PIN.” And then Darren said, “A zoo party?” “Yeah, we need some hats for the primates, though.” , “Wait, are people coming, or is it just the animals?” “We need an all-expenses paid vibe shift.” [laughing] Devin responds, “It's for everybody, we're going to get the whole city out. There's a fake badge.” Darren responds, “We're going to Zoo today.” With a meme of two cats doing the handshaking emoji that says, “My man,” and it's obviously a screencap from Instagram. Because I screencapped it from my own Instagram.

Jack: [chuckles]

Ali: Uh... Devin responds — [laughing]

Janine: Love the attention to detail.

Ali: [laughing] Devin responds with a Fortnite dancing GIF of a wolf lady with pink sleeves, and then Darren says, “Can I invite Dax?” Devin says, “Obviously.”

Keith: Speaking of Dax, uh, Devin, there is a small text —

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: From me.

Ali: [laughing] [snorts]

Janine: [chuckles] Hm.

Ali: [still laughing] Uh... but yeah, who wants to, who wants to go out buying party supplies with me? I'm fine with this being like a montage, I'm fine with this being like a big scene, uh, I feel like I'm framing it just because I feel like I know where that's going to go, and I feel like based on the die that we have — somebody mentioned in the chat, which I think is true, the last die is a wildcard so it's not like —

Janine: Yes.

Jack: It is, yes.

Keith: Oh...

Janine: Yeah.

Ali: But I, I didn't want to, I didn't want to give Jack the final white die, and then also have Jack be the only person, potentially, to get the second white die, too? As much as I love Dudley. Whatever outcome.

Jack: No, fair enough, absolutely.

Ali: Uh... it felt, it felt, uh, right for the scene, and also diplomatic in that way.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ali: But, Darren is all-in on this party, and you know who knows how to throw a party? Is Darren.

Jack: Oh, excellent.

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: Great, best man for the job.

Ali: Uh... so, we, like I said, can montage this.

Janine: Can we have a meeting?

Ali: Huh?

Janine: Should we have like a party-planning meeting or something?

Ali: Oh, sure. Yeah, if we want to get all of the characters in a scene together. Uh...

Janine: We did just kind of like, call everyone back, right? So...

Ali: Right. Yeah.

Janine: Maybe something like...

Ali: I wasn't sure if we wanted to like... do the improv thing or just talk about it. But I think like, having one scene with every character might be fun. Just because we —

Janine: We could also do that on, on my turn, depending on what you have planned.

Ali: Uh... no. I feel like, I feel like I'm, I'm just following the fiction here in that Darren is really gung ho on this party thing, and wants to buy...

Keith: Excited to have people back, excited to have a party.

Ali: Excited to have people back, excited to have a party, feels, feels... like he's the man for the job for this, feels a sense of community —

Jack: His zoo passion.

Ali: Yeah. Yeah.

Keith: Trying to be surrounded by passion.

Ali: Trying to be surrounded by passion. I think he's starting to feel it again.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: Uh... uh...

Jack: Even in the midst of crisis, love can bloom on the battlefield.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: Wow, that's — did you just come up with that?

Jack: … yeah. Absolutely.

Keith: Wow. That's amazing. Is

Ali: [snorts].

Jack: It's my own. Uh...

Darren: All right, Dax. You — did you count the primates? Because we gotta get the hats, and then we gotta get 5 extra hats.

Dax: Primates count themselves.

Darren: We gotta know how many hats to, to buy, man?

Dax: No, I mean, they counted themselves, and then I — you know, I double-checked. They did it themselves.

Darren: What'd they say, bro?

Dax: They said 44.

Darren: 40 — 49 hats, for contingencies.

Dax: What, 5 extra?

Darren: Yeah.

Dax: Okay, that's fine.

Darren: Uh, okay.

Dax: Can I say that I know that you're right, and if would just eat at me if I didn't say... contingency isn't very party.

Darren: [mumbling] We're bringing the whole city here, man.

Dax: Yeah. No, you're right, and I think that it's good... I think that it speaks to a strong character to be able to do something that's not party, in order to party.

Ali: [snorts]

Dax: But I just, I just had to say it.

Darren: Wait, the, the, the — you gotta, you gotta plan to party, man.

Dax: You gotta plan to party.

Darren: You know?

Dax: You're right. I know that you're right.

Darren: We're pre-gaming the party.

Dax: Yeah. I know that you're right.

Darren: [sighs]

Dax: I'm sorry if I got in your head.

Ali: [wheezes]

Dax: I think we should get, I genuinely think that we should get 49 hats.

Darren: We gotta think through costumes, man. What other, should we buy some bows? Who's going to wear some bows?

Dax: Where...

Janine: Wait, are we, hang on. Are we all here? Who's here at this?

Ali: Yeah. Every — anybody who wants to be here should be here.

Janine: I think Devin shows up late —

Ali: [snorts]

Janine: And she's carrying a huge binder, and Popcorner is on her shoulder.

Dax: Uh, Devin, do you know where we can get bow and arrows?

Devin: Absolutely not.

Darren: Bow and arrows?

Dax: Yeah, you just said we need bows.

Darren: No, like, like, like, like neck bows, man, like —

Dax: Oh.

Darren: Like, like, outfits, like, costumes, like —

Dax: You didn't mean like, archery contest?

Darren: Oh... no, man, the, the — you can't trust these people, man. The animals will get hurt.

Devin: I know what costumes we need.

Darren: Well, we need 49 hats.

Devin: I know —

Dudley: We need — sorry, no, go on, Devin. Devin — uh...

Jack: Dudley is, uh, very nervous around Devin, for some reason, today.

Ali: [snorts]

Janine: Devin also is like, Devin is wearing her badge. Devin is dressed more nicely than she usually is when she comes to spend the day at the zoo, getting handed off, uh, from her, you know, from actual care.

Keith: Taking it serious.

Janine: Uh, she's, in, in that she's like, wearing a [shacket]. And like, and like —

Jack: [chuckles]

Janine: You know, black pants. Like [chuckles] not quite slacks, but like, black pants. Uh... slams the binder down on the table, cracks it open. There is a big computer print-out of like, of like a PowerPoint kind of thing, and it says, “A Zoo is a Body,” in like big text.

Keith: Uh, Dax starts clapping.

Janine: She print the page — [laughs] She turns the page, and it's a bunch of just like, it's a, kind of like a moodboard, but of anatomy books, like children's anatomy books, not like super gross. And then it's a bunch of like, printoffs of like, you know how you can get those like, full-body leotard suits, but they have like muscles and stuff printed on them?

Jack: Yes.

Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Janine: [laughing] So there's a, there's a bunch of those.

Keith: A Mr. Goodbody.

Janine: Uh... yes. There's a bunch of, it's a bunch of stuff like that. It's a bunch of anatomy-themed — and then also some Halloween stuff, right? Like skeletons, bones.

Jack: [chuckles]

Janine: Stuff like that. Uh... and then she turns the page again, and she sort of divided up the animals in the zoo into like, parts of the body.

Jack: [laughs]

Janine: And it's not fully done, I'm going to need some help here, but like, you know, the smart animals are in the brain category, they're in the head category. And then there's like, monkeys in the hands category. Uh, and it's stuff like that. Uh... that's, that's her approach.

Jack: Wow.

Janine: And her, so, her, she has approached this a bit like a prom.

Keith: [laughing]

Janine: But has themed it, so there's like a, there's like a — here's where the snack, here's where the candy bar is, or whatever.

Keith: And it is the classic prom theme, “Zoo is a Body.”

Jack: [chuckles]

Keith: [laughing]

Janine: Yeah. Yeah. Prom is a body. It's, it, we, we all, we've all been to a prom that's, “Prom is the body.”

Keith: Mm-hm.

Jack: Prom is the body.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Jack: Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Dudley: Uh, it, it looks great.

Keith: Dax is impressed.

Dudley: How are we, uh, how are we paying for all of this?

Janine: Uh, she whips out a credit card. [laughs]

Dudley: Oh, oh... okay.

Dax: Is that the zoo credit card?

Devin: I mean, what are you, the cops? It's a credit card, who cares?

Dudley: Whose credit — nope, don't worry. I'm not. It's fine.

Dax: Yeah —

Darren: Yeah, who needs money?

Devin: Do you want this party, or do you not want this party?

Darren: I want this party.

Dax: I want the party.

Dudley: Does the party — okay.

Darren: Party's a body, man.

Dax: Party's a body.

Dudley: We're going to need an extra hat.

Dax: 50 hats.

Dudley: You know, you know why.

Darren: 50 hats...

Dax: Extra hat... is it —

Dudley: Yeah, yeah bro. You know why we need one extra hat, bro?

Dax: Because you're bringing a, a primate guest?

Dudley: No. Uh, maybe there's going to be a little fellow returning to the zoo. If you know what I mean.

Dax: [whispering] The hats, the hats aren't for the fish.

Jack: [chuckles]

Dudley: Fine, they're just — fine, I was just trying to get into the spirit of it, bro.

Dax: No, sorry, I get it. No, I get it. Yeah, I get it.

Dudley: I'm really fucking in it, bro. Actually, can I —

Ali: [snorts]

Dudley: Can I talk to you for a second quickly?

Dax: [whispering] Quiet, bro.

Dudley: I don't want to —

Darren: Is this about party business, bro?

Dudley: [normal volume] Devin... Devin.

Devin: Mm-hm?

Dudley: Can I just have a moment to talk, zookeepers only? It's about zookeeper business.

Devin: Uh, yeah, sure.

Janine: Devin's like on her, on the Blackberry. She's doing the thing her mom does now.

Jack: [chuckling] Oh my god.

Keith: [laughing]

Janine: She just kind of like, drifts off to one side, and she's like, you know, Blackberrying.

Dax: [whispering] What?

Dudley: The fish needs to come back, because of how, because of, like, virtues, right?

Dax: Right.

Dudley: Because of like —

Dax: Because of... heart.

Darren: Mm-hm.

Dudley: Yeah. But Devin... I need to pay Devin 20,000 dollars.

Darren: That's a lot of money, man.

Dax: [whispering] I'm... I'm uninvolved in this.

Dudley: I — I'm asking you, okay — what about if I put it this way? If you help me... mmm. Because if I can get the fish's bank account, and drain the fish's bank account...

Darren: Okay.

Dax: Yeah. I don't know if —

Dudley: Then I can essentially rob the fish.

Dax: Yeah. I don't know what the problem is. The, it's tattooed, the bank info's tattooed.

Dudley: I think that was something that, that Darren made up to — when we thought that you were the evil guy, to try and forestall you. I can't find a tattoo on that little fucker —

Darren: Yeah...

Dudley: I've been looking real hard.

Dax: Darren, that was you that said that. I heard... I heard you say it. That was a lie?

Darren: I was, I was trying to, to, to... stop an evildoer, man.

Dax: What are you talking about?

Dudley: We were trying to make it good.

Dax: Dudley was the evildoer.

Darren: It was a monster — well, there was a monster on the phone.

Dudley: Don't call me an evildoer, man!

Dax: You were in that moment the evildoer, bro! [pause] Surely with hindsight we can admit this.

Ali: [snorts] Sure...

Dudley: Look... Dax. Help me get that money out of the fish, and I'll make you a promise. I will return the fish to the zoo, at the party. I will admit my wrongdoing. I will pay Devin Zeller. And the rest of the money, I will put towards getting you chinchillas back, or whatever you want. 100,000 dollars. It's yours. You just gotta help me extract that money from the fish, bro.

Dax: [sighs] [pause] I feel... morally adrift.

Dudley: Yeah! It's not nice, is it?

Dax: No.

Darren: Where's your heart, man?

Dax: I don't know. The, the... the nature of this eludes me.

Darren: The nature of what, man?

Dax: I get 100,000 dollars from Dudley? That doesn't... I don't know. I can't put my finger on it, but it feels... cosmically sour.

Darren: Yeah...

Dudley: Think about it, man. We don't have long. I gotta get square with this teen.

Dax: No... gotta get square with the teen. [sighs] Because... you will not deceive a child.

Dudley: Of course not, bro.

Dax: Right. Can you admit... a fault to a child?

Darren: What about a child — boss, bro. She's our boss, bro.

Dudley: I can't do it. I can't do it, man.

Ali: [snorts]

Dudley: She's all busted-up about her mom, I think.

Darren: Yeah.

Dax: I've been pulled every which way by the tide of your actions, this week.

Dudley: I'm trying to come right, bro! Sorry, sorry Devin. We need to — we gotta get this party back on track.

Darren: It's about the party, man.

Dudley: It's about the party, but, but — I'm in 25,000 dollars in the hole to the party planner, and maybe what this zoo needs is a bit of the old Dax Leopard magic, that 100,000 dollars would really help you do, man!

Dax: [sighs]

Keith: I look at Darren. And I say, “Zoo Free?”

Ali: Uh...

Darren: I... man...

Keith: I think Dax is lost. And genuinely could go either way. And, will do essentially whatever Darren says is the right thing to do.

Ali: [laughing] Sure. Uh... [giggling] [snorts] okay.

Jack: We need to give you a dice, right, Ali?

Ali: Yeah. Uh, and I feel like, yeah, this is, I feel like maybe this is... I guess —

Keith: I'm going to, I'm going to do — I lost my page, because I had to open Firefox, because Twitch broke on Chrome. Ah, here we go.

Ali: Wow, I'm getting the white die.

Keith: The white die.

Ali: Oh, what does this mean... what does that mean for Darren... can — [sighs]

Keith: You — I think I — I think I know what it has to mean.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: Because, which is funny, because fictionally, I said that Dax has to do whatever Darren says, or Dax will do, because he's lost.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: But mechanically, in a way, I've actually chosen for you to choose for me.

Ali: [cackling] That's games, man.

Keith: That's games.

Ali: That's mechanics, bro.

Keith: Of course, you're free to disagree with how I'm reading this, but I will tell you if you want me to tell you.

Ali: Sure. Please.

Keith: Okay.

Ali: I'm curious.

Keith: You gave me a black die for prioritizing Zoo 2 over Zoo Free.

Ali: Uh-huh.

Keith: You gave Jack a black die for essentially doing the same thing, and I gave you the white die, which means, to acknowledge that the, the, the numbered zoo future is grim, and saving it is not the path.

Ali: Mm-hm. I... agree with that, on a functional and a, like, mechanical level.

Keith: Okay.

Ali: But, having said that...

Keith: Okay.

Ali: I... [laughing] I feel, as a storyteller, some friction in terms of like, we just went the last hour and a half or whatever, of like, getting the characters back onto the, the track, so to speak, of Zoo 2, that like, I don't want to —

Keith: [whispering] Synthesis.

Ali: [giggling] I don't want to like, fray the edges of like, uh, intention there, right? Because if Darren turns around and is like, “Oh, no, let's go back to Zoo Free,” then like, where does the —

Keith: But what if Zoo Free...

Ali: [giggling]

Keith: Is... what if all of these bodies become just one body?

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: Or what if the actual way to save Zoo 2 is via Zoo Free?

Ali: Sure.

Jack: I think this is part of, this is part of what Dudley's offering the money for on some level, right?

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: Is that like, what we could do to save this Zoo is bring in a bit of that Dax magic.

Keith: And —

Jack: Dudley, of course, doesn't know anything about what Zoo Free is. Hasn't seen any of it.

Keith: I, I will say that the, that I did originally conceive of Zoo Free as a rhyme with Zoo 3 to sort of replace it.

Ali: [laughing] Sure.

Keith: That was, so that is sort of the angle I was doing —

Ali: Right.

Keith: At the very beginning of introducing Zoo Free —

Ali: Uh-huh.

Keith: Is instead of Zoo 1, Zoo 2, Zoo 3: Zoo of the Night, it's Zoo 1, Zoo 2, Zoo Free: Zoo of the World.

Ali: Right. And this is sort of the showdown of like, you know, which zoo will be standing.

Keith: [gasps] It's a showdown.

Ali: It's a showdown. Yeah, my, my only hesitation there was like, you know, twisting the motivation once again —

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: Where does like, the, where does the story engine take us, if we're like, immediately curving it again. Uh, and I, you know, we can go anywhere. That's the point of the game. Uh...

Keith: Well, and that is the beauty of Zoo Free. Zoo Free also can go anywhere.

Ali: [snorts] [laughing]

Jack: Like, for example, the BMX course directly opposite Zoo 2. [chuckling]

Ali: [laughs] Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Janine: You mean FreeMX.

Jack: Right.

Ali: So I think, so like in, in terms of that, and in terms of receiving a white die, and in terms of... seeing the character in a moment of triumph, and feeling like the scene ending positively... I think that as Dax stares expectantly at Darren, unsure of his intentions, unsure of his path, Darren looks him in the eyes and says —

Darren: You gotta live with passion, man.

Dax: Yeah. [pause]

Darren: You gotta tell, you gotta — your heart, your heart is you, man. What's in your heart?

Dax: I'm in my heart.

Darren: If that's you —

Ali: [chuckles]

Dax: My heart is me.

Darren: Exactly, bro.

Dax: I'm in my heart.

Darren: And you gotta follow it. You gotta follow what's in there. That's you.

Dax: To follow my heart is [dropping to a whisper] to follow myself.

Darren: [whispering] Yeah, man. You gotta trust Dax right now.

Dax: [whispering] Zoo Free.

Darren: And Dudley, you gotta follow your ideals too, man. All we have is dreams.

Dax: [normal voice] Thanks, bro.

Dudley: Thanks, bro.

Ali: [wheezes]

Dax: You just aligned my whole shit, bro.

Ali: [cackling]

Darren: I'm telling you man, we need a, we need a, we need an all-expenses-paid vibe shift. And the vibe is critical, man. And we're going to shift it, with that American Express. You feel me?

Dax: I feel you.

Darren: Okay.

Dudley: Yeah.

Darren: Zookeep —

Dax: Now, how do we get the 120,000 dollars from the fish?

Jack: [wheezes]

Darren: Oh, man.

Jack: [laughs] Scene! I think.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: [cracks up] I had a horrible flash, uh, to the movie Zoolander, where they're trying to figure out how to get the files off of a computer, but none of them know how a computer works. And it's —

Ali: Uh-huh.

Keith: And at some point Owen Wilson stares at the computer and just whispers, “The files are in the computer. It's so simple.”

Ali: [giggles]

Jack: [chuckles]

Keith: And he breaks the computer, and of course there's... no files in there.

Ali: [wheezes]

Keith: I hope that we do not [chuckling] break open this fish, that we cannot do that. But that's what I was thinking of.

Jack: No...

Keith: And also, Dax and Darren are —

Jack: No.

Ali: Oh!

Keith: Extremely Zoolander.

Darren: C'mon, bro.

Keith: And Dudley, too. Dudley's also Zoolander, kind of.

Darren: I got it, bro. We gotta... we gotta play Jack Black.

Ali: [cracking up]

Keith: [yelling] We gotta get Jack Black!!!

Jack: [laughs]

Ali: [wheezes]

Janine: We gotta get Jack Black and then trick him.

Darren: We, we gotta challenge the fish to a game, man. We gotta gamble our life.

Dax: It's all coming down to a game of Jack Black.

Darren: And the —

Ali: [cracking up]

Keith: [laughing]

Darren: That's not the name of the game, right? Did I fuck that up?

Dax: I don't know, I've never played.

Ali: [cackling]

Jack: Are you maybe thinking of blackjack, Ali?

Ali: [wheezes] [cracking up] I am thinking of blackjack. I'm thinking of of blackjack. I am, I am thinking of that.

Darren: We gotta, we gotta gamble the fish for... and put it all in. And then, this, this town runs on casinos, man. We tell them we bit the —

Ali: [wheezes]

Darren: Fish... at a game of poker, man. They gotta give us the money. We're going to have the chips.

Dudley: No, bro. I mean, I think you've, you've got a great idea, bro. May I offer a slight, a slight alteration to the plan? I think that the fish already has his money, in, like, the casino bank. We just have to show up with the fish and ask for a withdrawal, on his behalf, bro.

Darren: On the fish's behalf... we're the fish's keepers, man. Zookeeper's meeting.

Dudley: Zookeeper's meeting, bro!

Dax: Zookeeper's meeting. Operation: Fish 'n Chips.

Darren: Yo, Devin.

Jack: [chuckling]

Darren: Yo, yo, yo, Devin.

Devin: What's up? I'm just putting an order in for marshmallows that are shaped like vertebra.

Darren: Great, loving that. Yo, did your mom have, like a... like —

Ali: [laughing]

Darren: A certificate of authenticity for the missing fish, perhaps? Maybe like a, a...

Devin: I don't think you can certify the authenticity of a living thing. I don't, I don't think that's how it works. It's insured. I could probably give you the insurance policy.

Darren: What about the stuff they got for cars, when the cop pulls you over and asks you for proof that you own the car? Do we got proof that we own that fish?

Jack: Complete, absolute uninterest in the insurance policy.

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: From Darren.

Ali: [cackling]

Janine: [laughs]

Devin: It's on loan. I, like it's not really ours, you know? I think it's like, I think it's like, on loan from its own estate, sort of like a weird loophole. So like, maybe the fish has a, has like one of those boxes at the bank? Or the post office? I don't know where they go.

Dax: Security deposit box?

Devin: Yeah, it's probably got one of those, that has that stuff in it.

Darren: Deposit box... yo, you got your mom's phone, right?

Devin: I hesitate to call it a phone, but yeah.

Darren: Can you... can you text the casino, and say the fish needs —

Ali: What... who else can make a withdrawal? [wheezes]

Jack: [laughs]

Darren: Can you, can you, can you text the casino, bro? And say that the fish needs to make a withdrawal?

Keith: Who are you asking to do this?

Ali: Devin.

Keith: Oh, okay.

Ali: And then we'll, we go —

Jack: In a moment of —

Ali: And we pick up the money. With the fish.

Devin: Can you text casinos? I think you need like a, you have to call them, and then like —

Darren: Come on... just find the paper and make it work. Paper work.

Dax: Is that why they call it that?

Ali: [wheezes]

Jack: Moment of, moment of high tension for Darren —

Ali: [cackling]

Devin: Listen, like, do you, do you like know someone with a voice changer or something? Because that might work, but I don't know that texting —

Dax: [deep voice] Ah, yes, I think they do.

Ali: [wheezing and cracking up]

Scene 6 [2:17:20]

Jack: Wait, no, wait. Hold on. Hang on. Hold up. Are we moving into the next scene here, which —

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: And I don't want to speak for you, Janine, could be Devin with a voice changer trying to call the casino.

Janine: Oh, I — hang on, hang on. I have to get my...

Ali: [snorts] [laughing]

Janine: Oh, shit.

Jack: Oh, no, no, no. I don't want to, I don't want to roll this in if you had another — [chuckles] I just want to make sure that we're not —

Ali: [laughing]

Janine: No I, [chuckles] I do, I just have to get my voice changer software up.

Ali: [laughs]

Janine: I didn't have it ready to go.

Jack: Oh god. Okay, so that —

Keith: How often do you have someone with a soundboard who plots in the soundboard into the fiction of the...

Ali: Mm-hm. No one's, no one's, no one's on our level.

Keith: No one's on our level?

Jack: Uh, also, but I think that, a, a white die heralding, perhaps the arrival of a classic Friends at the Table two-step plan, two-step of three-step plan.

Ali: [laughing] Uh...

Keith: I also love the, the total, Jack, you already mentioned this, the total sidestep of the insurance policy.

Jack: The, the sensible way to do this, scam.

Keith: [laughs]

Jack: Would be —

Keith: To do some sort of very normal insurance fraud.

Janine: It would.

Jack: Also, I think it's extremely Dax, Devin, and Dudley, to be like, “The reason we all need to collaborate on this as bros is that we're three zookeepers, and they'll believe three zookeepers more than one.” [laughing]

Keith: Right.

Ali: Well, no, well, I think — he was making it like, “We're the fish's keepers, we're the zookeepers.”

Jack: Oh, right, right, right, right, right. I see.

Ali: Right.

Jack: Okay. God. Oh, fuck me —

Janine: I forgot my voice mod password. I have to log in weirdly.

Jack: Wait a second.

Ali: [giggling]

Jack: Hey, has anybody seen the colors of dice remaining to us?

Keith: Yes.

Janine: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Janine: Mm-hm.

Ali: Mm-hm. One of those could be a white die.

Keith: True, yes.

Jack: Yeah, but only the last one.

Keith: The last scene —

Ali: [chuckling]

Janine: Well, that should be the party, though, right? So then everything else [chuckling] doesn't matter.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: True.

Jack: Yeah, you let us know when you're ready, Janine.

Janine: All right. Here we go, here we go. Yeah. Uh, I'm also going to have to find... oh, okay. Speaker, uh... okay. I'm going to, I have to...

Keith: God. We were so generous- we were way to generous with the white die in Act 1.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Jack: [chuckles] Uh-huh.

Janine: Okay. Uh, man, I have to like — which is the — there's just one here that's like a lady. Let me, let me try that really quick.

Ali: [chuckling]

Janine: Hang on, I'll switch my audio input in Discord so y'all can, can hear.

Ali: Live at the Table.

Janine: Live at the Table! [voice altered] It's Live at the Table.

Ali: Oh... that's just slower.

Janine: [voice altered] I didn't change it yet. Or did I?

Keith: Yeah, you did. You definitely did.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: [laughing]

Janine: [other altered voice] It's... Amazon fire dragon, which was —

Ali: Hello?

Janine: [other altered voice] Hello?

Keith: Hi!

Janine: [altered voice] I — I need to monitor this, I don't know what this sounds like.

Dax: Wow, Devin, this sounds really believable.

Devin: [altered voice] It's not.

Ali: [cackling]

Devin: [altered] Oh, boy, it's really not.

Dax: This is why I used the other settings mostly.

Jack: Uh, stream can't hear, that's on purpose, I think, right now.

Janine: [altered voice] I, I fixed it, a bit. Uh...

Ali: [laughing]

Janine: [altered voice] Palace. Phallus. Mmm... these aren't that good. A cartoon woman.

Keith: [cracking up]

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: The chat is also hearing both your regular voice, and your modulated voice —

Janine: [very high voice] Oh, no!

Jack: No...

Ali: [laughing]

Janine: [high voice] Turn that one off, no one likes that one.

Ali: [snorts] What the fuck are we doing? [laughing] [coughing and wheezing]

Janine: [altered voice] [unintelligible] sorceress. Okay, well. Now... bear with me. If I turn dungeon and dragons down... maybe like this? No, it's still… vaguely...

Ali: Oh, this is getting better.

Keith: To me, it sounds like two women who are cursed to speak at the same time.

Ali: Yeah. It's giving a little bit of that.

Janine: [doubled voice] Mm-hm. Yeah. There is that. [laughs]

Keith: Uh, there is a worst-case scenario, where I can make a note, and edit just a voice changer over what you say, in post.

Ali: [laughing]

Janine: [new altered voice] No, I — I've got it. I've got it. B? Persona B? Persona C. Persona C...

Keith: Okay.

Ali: Okay.

Janine: Persona, persona D.

Ali: Persona D? Oooh...

Keith: I think C sounds best.

Janine: Okay.

Ali: I mean, yeah.

Janine: I’m gonna just fix stuff, so it's not [unintelligible]

Keith: You just sound like you have strep throat, but mostly it's fine.

Janine: That sounds true, right?

Ali: Well, there's also like... there's like a delay in the generation sometimes. You do sound like a, like a cell phone, like a lady who's on my phone to tell me about —

Janine: Uh-huh?

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: Homeowner's insurance. Or that you really want to buy some of my —

Janine: [laughs] Uh... okay. [normal voice] All right. So it's off? It's normal now, right? It's normal talking?

Ali: [laughing] Yeah, yes —

Keith: It's normal now, yeah, this is normal.

Janine: [altered voice] And then voice on. [normal voice] Okay. All right.

Ali: [laughing] Uh-huh.

Keith: Yeah.

Janine: [normal voice] This is why I set it up in advance before those King of the Castle streams. [chuckling]

Ali: Okay. Uh... it sounds like a text-to-speech thing.

Janine: Uh... it kind of is.

Ali: [giggling]

Janine: Okay, so [laughing] What are we doing?

Keith: Oh, yeah, that's a good point. I don't know.

Janine: I think I was going to call the bank, or the casino, to say, to pretend to be my mom?

Ali: Uh-huh.

Janine: And then...

Ali: Say that we, that we need to make a —

Janine: Yeah.

Jack: Three zookeepers are coming. [chuckles]

Ali: Right. We're making a withdrawal for the fish.

Keith: Uh, I have a quick question —

Janine: Mm-hm.

Keith: Because we did, this did move very fast. Uh, this is the first that Devin is hearing about the fish, right? Devin and not know about the stolen fish, doesn't know about the plan to take the money, just thinks that —

Janine: … yeah, I —

Ali: Knows that the — knows that the fish was stolen, because that was like, news.

Janine: Yeah.

Keith: Right. And knows that Dudley offered 20,000 dollars, mysteriously...

Janine: Yeah.

Keith: Or spontaneously, anyway.

Janine: Yeah.

Jack: Oh, this is the point, though, Keith, right?

Janine: Yeah, so I need to, I do need to react to that part of it. I, I am, I wanted to preprepare, because I [chuckling] know that this has to happen. Uh...

Ali: [chuckling]

Janine: But I do need to react to that part, you're right.

Jack: Yeah. Okay.

Ali: We were sort of flowing between scenes though, here. Do you want to react to that as the end of my scene, and then either frame or, whatever the other word is, for your next scene? I guess we've sort of... well, it depends on what you, what you would want to do either way.

Janine: I mean, we know how it's going to go either way, so it kind of doesn't matter.

Ali: Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Keith: Yeah.

Janine: Uh... so, what was the last thing that was asked of Devin? Her mother's phone...

Jack: Uh, you need to, let the fish make a withdrawal. Didn't Ali have that great line about how — call the casino and —

Janine: Yes.

Jack: [chuckling] Ask for the fish to make a withdrawal.

Ali: Uh-huh.

Keith: Do fishes sometimes make withdrawals when the zoo isn't doing well, and then the fish has to get moved from the rich fish —

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: [laughing] To the poor fish? [cracking up]

Jack: [laughing]

Keith: [still cracking up]

Jack: [laughing] It just becomes a regular fish at that point.

Ali: You know what? I think that there's paperwork between the zoo and the fish, that... you know, it's money on loan. They pay the fish back.

Keith: [laughing] Okay. Okay, they pay the fish back.

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: And fish don't ask for high interest rates, so it's a pretty decent loan.

Ali: [laughing] Right.

Jack: Well, I mean, I —

Ali: The casino might, but —

Jack: Yeah, I want to highlight here that like, this is very much in the realms of like, the fish don't give a — fish, fish don't need to have money, and don't know that they have money.

Ali: Uh-huh.

Jack: This is absolutely Bluff City humans, you know, either laundering money or moving money around —

Keith: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack: Or being weird with money, ultimately.

Janine: Yeah.

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: Uh... even though it is currently being stored in like... fish.

Keith: I will say —

Janine: Yeah.

Keith: That, this plan, now, the way that we have formulated it, where we are, are in a sense, taking — we are pretending to be the zoo taking out a 120,000 dollar loan from the fish, this does introduce, which didn't exist before, that we are actually stealing this money from the zoo, that we are, in a sense, claiming to try to save.

Ali: Sure.

Janine: Sure, but we're putting it towards saving the zoo.

Jack: We're stealing from... the fish.

Ali: Right.

Keith: Right.

Jack: Yeah. It's for a good cause.

Ali: And to your —

Janine: The fish is also... it's not, like, the zoo's fish, exactly.

Keith: Right.

Janine: There's some loopholes.

Ali: And to your point, some of the, some of the white die that I got last time was the characters not prioritizing Zoo 2 anymore.

Keith: Right, true. True, true, true.

Ali: So I feel like this follows the, uh, the universe's, uh...

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: Uh, you know, system as we've set it up.

Janine: Okay. So we've, so... Devin was asked to, to use her mom's phone to text the casino about the fish withdrawing, and she responded that that didn't [chuckling] — she got hung up on the idea of, you don't text the casino, you would call and need a voice changer, and then a voice changer was produced. I think maybe, that is the point at which Devin says —

Devin: What do you mean, the fish's money?

Dax: Rich fish.

Darren: Rich fish.

Devin: The fish that got stolen?

Dudley: Of — [pause]

Keith: I just stare.

Ali: [laughs] We both stare... at Dudley. [snorts] We are not men of subtlety.

Dudley: Bros... okay, Devin. I stole the fish. To try and get my job – Devin, I'm going to walk you through it.

Devin: You were going to pay me with fish money?

Dudley: No, I wasn't going to pay you with fish money, Devin. I am going to pay you with fish money.

Devin: Oh, okay.

Dudley: This is all about making good to my debts.

Dax: Your dads?

Dudley: My debts.

Dax: Oh, your debts.

Dudley: I'm already made good to my dads, they're very proud of me.

Dax: Good, I guess.

Devin: Bragger.

Dudley: I stole the fish. And my plan had been to sell the fish, right?

Devin: How would that get you your job back?

Dudley: Okay, my — okay, no, no, no, no-no. My plans are getting twisted. My plan had been to sort of ransom the fish.

Dax: Can I help you?

Devin: Yeah...

Dudley: But, it was made — [pause] yeah?

Darren: Hm?

Dax: Can I help you?

Dudley: Uh, yeah. Devin... yeah. Yeah.

Dax: Uh, so, first of all, I should say, Dax, myself — I am Dax.

Jack: [chuckling]

Dax: Dax had nothing to do with this. Darren barely had anything to do with this. Dudley's original plan was to steal the fish, and then find it for the reward of, “I found this lost fish, can I have my job back?” That plan was quickly abandoned —

Jack: Nodding.

Dax: When you offered the job back, in exchange for 20,000 dollars. The plan stopped being about returning the fish —

Dudley: Right, right, right.

Dax: And started being about selling the fish for 120,000 dollars.

Dudley: Which you came through on, Devin, and I'm so grateful. I'm eternally grateful for that, and I want to make good. And the way that I make good is that we... extract the money from this fish, and then we put the fish back in the aquarium.

Devin: Okay.

Darren: We're flawless, man.

Dax: You don't mind?

Devin: Uh, I mean, can we use that money for the party, though?

Dudley: Well... hm. I did already promise 100, I already promised some of that money to Dax. And I think Dax is going to use it for the party.

Dax: How expensive... is this party going to be?

Devin: I don't know, it depends, like —

Dax: Because I was going to use it for my free, my Zoo Free.

Devin: Why do you need money for a free zoo?

Dudley: What's your Zoo Free?

Dax: Zoo Free.

Darren: Zoo Free's not free.

Dax: It's a zoo that is free.

Dudley: But it costs some money?

Dax: It costs money to make it.

Darren: Yeah, you need — we need some investments, man.

Dax: Right.

Devin: That sounds like an unsustainable business model.

Dax: Well the — it's —

Dudley: Why...

Darren: Well, it's right.

Dax: All my favorite musicians give their music away for free on Bandcamp, and I think that I can do the same thing with a zoo that exists, sort of ephemerally, in nature.

Devin: You know like, none of the animals at the zoos are like, native to this area, right? That's —

Dax: Yeah.

Devin: Like, a lot of them are probably going to freeze to death and stuff?

Darren: No...

Dax: I have thought of this.

Devin: Uh-huh.

Dax: And I have solutions.

Devin: Are they free?

Dax: No, they cost like 100,000 dollars, partially. That's the point.

Devin: I just feel like you're going to have one year of a zoo, and then another year of like a... real bad situation.

Dax: I would never let an animal die on my watch.

Devin: It sounds like...

Dax: It goes against the species code.

Darren: Mmm.

Jack: Dudley looks down at his feet. [chuckles]

Dax: Uh... anyway, the zoo will be, you know... self-sustaining, economically. But it needs money to get off the ground.

Devin: How?

Dax: Donations... and merch. And pay what you want. Like Bandcamp.

Devin: That doesn't sound like free.

Darren: Like, like PBS, man.

Dax: No, the — it's free, the spirit of it is free. [pause] And again, you can come in and pay nothing, if you wanted. It's pay what you want. Haven't you ever been to a museum?

Devin: Yeah, they're expensive.

Dax: Well, some of them are expensive.

Devin: It's like 45 bucks to get into the museum of whatever-the-hell. We go there every year for school, and it's boring as hell.

Dax: My favorite museums are free, with a suggested donation.

Devin: Those, like, old house museums, when they got the old house, and you just walk in and look at the old house?

Dax: Well, it's full of artwork!

Devin: Uh-huh.

Dax: You know? Don't sneer at —

Devin: Sounds boring.

Dax: Isabelle Stewart Gardner. [pause]

Darren: Are you going to help us, or not?

Devin: I want, I want to have this party. My priority is having this party. If I can call and be like, “Hey, give us this money for this fish...” Well, I — why, why would I — [chuckles]

Dax: We can do the party, just — you know. You're already getting 20,000 dollars. Just I, I just need to pay for the free zoo.

Devin: Yeah...

Darren: It's the fish who's giving you the 20,000 dollars, because Dudley isn't really good for it, you know?

Devin: Yeah, that's true...

Dudley: Hey!

Darren: You're not good things for things, bro. Besides milk. And ladders.

Devin: I mean... so... okay.

Ali: [snorts]

Devin: What if... Zoo Free... was a satellite of Zoo 2?

Dax: But it's still —

Devin: What if... it's still... uh, what?

Dax: Does it still have its identity?

Devin: Sure. I mean, it's like a, it's a free zoo, right?

Dax: Okay.

Devin: And people come to the free zoo, and maybe the free zoo is like, in that sort of wooded lot, just beside. And then, like, people go like, “Oh, I really like those animals, what if we go see the other animals?”

Dax: Mmm.

Darren: Mmm.

Devin: So what if we had the party at both sites? And it's like a, you, you start at one, and then you go to the other one? Like, like a zoo crawl?

Darren: A grand opening. For... Zoo Free.

Devin: Mm-hm!

Dax: Grand opening for Zoo Free: Zoo Crawl.

Darren: A zoo crawl, bro.

Dax: Hey, she said zoo crawl. Just credit where it's due.

Devin: Yeah, yeah. You know, zoos are bodies, and bodies have two hands, and two feet, two ears, two nostrils, uh, you got two kidneys, two lungs, uh...

Dax: And... they're free.

Devin: Yep.

Darren: You gotta pay for the shots, man.

Devin: Unless you gotta get new ones, but like, you know.

Dax: Get a new body?

Devin: Like a new kidney.

Dax: Oh, okay.

Darren: I'm in.

Devin: All right. Gimme your phone, or — I guess I have the phone.

Janine: Gimme my phone — [laughing]

Devin: Gimme my mom's phone.

Darren: Sorry, I was seeing what her rank was on Puzzle Plaza.

Dax: What rank?

Darren: 42, man.

Dax: That sounds... good?

Darren: Yeah, man.

Dax: Wow.

Darren: She's a pro.

Devin: She just spends a lot of money on it, she's not that good.

Darren: Oh...

Dax: You can pay to — solve puzzles? It feels like it's, it's against the spirit of a puzzle.

Darren: Money'll kill you, man.

Dax: That's why we need to take that 120,000 dollars away from that fish.

Devin: It's the puzzle code.

Ali: [snorts]

Devin: [altered voice] All right, let's do this thing.

Dax: Woah! Who are you, totally new lady?

Ali: [laughs]

Devin: [computer chip voice] I'm my mom. [breaking up]

Dax: I think you're running low on batteries on that thing. I mean, I'm running low on batteries on that thing.

Devin: [chip voice] It's fine. But it does have a start-up noise, sorry chat [breaking up]

Janine: [heavy distortion] I forgot this was [unintelligible] because I'm using [unintelligible] audio, and it doesn't filter that stuff out, unfortunately, like it does when I'm using the Discord one. Okay. Devin pulls up the thing, here, pulls up the phone. Let's go. Calling the casino. Who's playing the casino?

Keith: I'll play the casino.

Ali: Ring ring ring, ring ring ring.

Keith (as Casino): Uh... yeah?

Devin: Hello, this is… Georgia Zeller?

Casino: Uh, sorry, what's that?

Devin: This is Georgia Zeller.

Casino: Georgia Zeller, okay, gotcha.

Devin: From the Bluff City Zoo —

Casino: Okay, okay.

Devin: Department, Management Team.

Casino: Park Management, okay.

Devin: We have an account.

Casino: Yeah.

Devin: Or one of our, one of our… occupants has an account. Uh...

Casino: Excuse me?

Devin: With you, and we would like to withdraw the money.

Casino: One of your occupants has an account, excuse me?

Devin: Yes, the fish.

Casino: The fish?

Devin: It is a fish occupant.

Casino: Hey, Dan! Dan, come here. Dan, okay — say again?

Jack (as Dan): What, what — what is it?

Casino: Listen to this. Say again?

Devin: [voice distorting] My name is Georgia Zeller —

Casino: Georgia Zeller, okay.

Devin: I'm with the Bluff City Zoo.

Casino: With the Bluff City Zoo.

Ali: [chuckling]

Keith: [laughing]

Devin: One of our occupants is a fish.

Casino: [laughing] Okay, and?

Dan: [laughing]

Ali: [snorts]

Dan: Hey, Tia, Tia. Come here! Tia, look at this!

Devin: He has an account with you —

Keith: [laughing]

Casino: [laughing] Okay, the fish has an account. Okay, wait, sorry. Tia, Tia, Tia, Tia, Tia.

Devin: Uh-huh...

Dan: You're not going to — okay, okay.

Devin: It's the rich fish.

Casino: The rich fish...

Dan: It's the rich fish! We know about the —

Casino: [laughing] It's the rich fish!

Devin: Who won at blackjack.

Ali (as Tia): This isn't a joke, guys! This is —

Casino: [laughing] What are you talking about, it's not a joke?

Ali: [laughing]

Dan: This fish wins at blackjack —

Tia: No, the fish is loaded!

Dan: How'd the fish win at blackjack?

Tia: I don't know, it —

Devin: [unintelligible]

Casino: Did cats?

Devin: You didn’t watch that — you work in casinos and you didn't watch that match? That's embarrassing for you.

Casino: I'm new.

Dan: Whoa.

Tia: Be professional. That fish is a big client.

Devin: New in town?

Casino: They told me —

Tia: The Zoo people are in here once a year for —

Dan: Well, you fucking do it, Tia!

Casino: When I got hired, they told me, be fun on the phones. They said, don't worry about being professional. They said be fun, be fun. Be funny.

Dan: Yeah. Uh-huh. And he hired me.

Tia: The — the fish doesn't like jokes. You got —

Casino: The fish doesn't...

Tia: Every year, when the town is the redoing the budget, those fish people come through, and they get outta here with bags —

Dan: This fish has a person attached to it?

Casino: Bags of money?

Tia: Bags of money. Bags of money.

Casino: I don't even have one bag.

Ali: [wheezes]

Devin: Bags of money.

Dan: Shit.

Tia: That fish is a big client. We're not —

Casino: Okay. So tell me, uh, —

Dan: Yeah, tell me about who, uh... yeah.

Casino: Yeah, just tell us something.

Dan: What, what he was going to say. Yeah, tell us.

Casino: Just tell us something.

Ali: [snorts]

Casino: We're loose today. Let us loose, more like. You know?

Ali: [cackling]

Dan: You, uh, you gonna, uh, well — well, we can't, we can't give the money to you down the phone, can we?

Casino: No.

Devin: No, I would like to send some of my finest zookeepers to collect the money.

Casino: Fine how?

Devin: What?

Casino: Fine, how?

Devin: Are you asking if they're hot?

Casino: …Yeah, yeah. I'm asking if they're hot.

Ali: [laughing]

Devin: I don't know, they're like, kind of older than me, so I don't really think about it like that.

Casino: Okay. I like the uniforms.

Dan: Uh... no, that won't work, sorry. No, that won't work, that won't work. We, that won't work, I'm afraid, sorry. We, uh, we have a, uh, [sputters] you're going to need to bring the fish, too.

Devin: Fine.

Casino: Yeah, it's finger-printed. Finger... finned.

Dan: Is it?

Casino: No, I'm just —

Keith: I turn to you and I laugh.

Devin: Do you mean fin-printed?

Casino: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know all about it now. I was joking before, when I said I didn't know about it. Uh... you gotta bring the fish in [laughs] you gotta fingerprint it... fisherprint it.

Dan: And there's a deposit. We'll need to take, uh, or rather, there's a transaction fee.

Devin: What kind of, what kind of banking aspect in the casino is this, to pay and transaction fee to get your own money out? When you're a fish?

Dan: Well of course it's a transaction. There's a transaction, this is a, this is the fucking real world, Georgia.

Darren: Dan, you got a big-time, you got a big-time... it's big-time time.

Keith: Sorry, are you — break, break for a second. Is this Tia telling us —

Ali: No, I'm Darren, this is Darren.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: This is Darren talking to Devin saying, these people think you're weak.

Casino: This is the best, uh, fucking casino in Bluff City. You're going to just say, “Oh, I'm going to send zookeepers to get the fish? Get out of here.”

Dan: That transaction fee? —

Devin: Now listen to me, you little rat-faced asshole.

Casino: Oh-ho-ho!

Ali: [cackling]

Dan: Fucking hell!

Casino: Oh, she's got a mouth.

Devin: You are nothing and no one without clients like this fish. You are less than a fish. You are a little —

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: [laughing]

Devin: Speck of gutter [unintelligible] in the universe without a fish. You are going to give my zookeepers the fish's money —

Keith: [laughing]

Devin: Or I am going to ruin your life.

Casino: Jeez, lady, anybody ever tell you you're not very nice?

Devin: Yes.

Tia: Are you still talking to that fish lady? Give them the damn —

Dan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tia: Do you know how big that fish client is?

Dan: You — okay, well fine. You, you give it a go then, Tia.

Casino: Okay, yeah, yeah. This is Tia, sorry.

Dan: This is Tia.

Casino: This is Tia, we're giving you Tia.

Dan: Tia will handle this from now on.

Casino: Bye.

Devin: Tia... are you going to give us our fucking fish money?

Tia: Woah, woah woah woah, woah woah, Miss, Miss Gazelle. Uh...

Devin: It's Mrs. Zeller.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: [laughing]

Tia: I'm, I'm sorry, I knew you worked at the zoo…

Devin: How dare you?

Keith: [cracking up]

Tia: It's just, that's my favorite zoo animal, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know, we, we, you know, we, we, we, the casino, we... have had a relationship with you for a long time. Uh... just come through. We'll have the, we'll have the money set aside for you.

Dan: The... Tia, the transaction fee.

Tia: How many, how much do you need?

Devin: Uh, we need 120,000. Dollars.

Tia: Uh...

Ali: Bloop bloop bloop. Bloop bloop bloop. Typing on a keyboard noises, I'm not using my own keyboard for some reason.

Keith: The fish accounts all have ocean sounds.

Devin: What — your keyboard makes those noises?

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: [laughing]

Tia: Yeah, this is a fun casino, ma'am. Can I get the last 4 digits of your account, the fish's account?

Devin: [whispering] Uh, do we have the fish's…

Dudley: [whispering] What's she saying? Devin?

Jack: No, we, we super do not.

Ali: [laughing]

Devin: [normal voice] I need the last 4 digits of the fish's account number.

Dudley: We can't, it's — which...

Devin: [altered voice] How dare you —

Darren: Yo. Yo, yo, yo. Say, say, say, say... say... 0420.

Devin: 0420.

Tia: …All right. It looks like the fish has... however many dollars we said that the fish had at the start of this game.

Jack: 120,000.

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: Everything. We're emptying the account.

Janine: So wait, I have a, I have a pitch.

Ali: [laughing] Okay.

Janine: Because this scene has to be a fail...

Ali: Okay.

Janine: I think the fish only has 30K in there.

Ali: [gasps]

Jack: Oh my god, it's been... woah.

Janine: They didn't pay it back last time. They're still on the payment plan, they haven't —

Jack: Woah.

Tia: Uh... Mrs. Zeller. Mrs., Mrs. Fish Zeller. Uh...

Devin: I'm not a fish. I'm not married to the fish.

Keith: [laughing]

Devin: Why would you say that? I just take care of it. It lives with me.

Keith: [cracking up]

Devin: And not like common law, it's just, it's like a tenant.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: [snorts]

Tia: I, I, — [sputters] you're representing the fish in these matters, and I want to inform you that there might be a discrepancy in your accounting. But, our files are showing that you have, uh, [coughs] 29 thousand, 872 dollars, and, uh, 37 cents, and on the, the, the 15th of the month, this Saturday, we are going to be charging you, uh, another, uh, processing withholding fee of, uh, 24.95. But you're going to get your card in the mail for 2 free drinks and a, uh, free ticket —

Jack: [laughs]

Tia: To, uh, one of our fabulous entertainment shows, uh, where, uh, it's the Season of the Violin here at Big Wig Casino.

Keith: Uh, this only sounds like Tia's delivering this for the first time ever because —

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: Uh, Dan, and, and Frank are holding up signs of different questions to ask about the fish, and she's trying not to pay attention to that, but it's extremely distracting.

Ali: [laughing] Also, I'm trying to be delicate with this situation, because when you have a customer, and you say, “Hey, I think your information is wrong,” you have to treat them like a child. And be like, “I'm not saying that you're a liar. I'm just saying that the information that I have is different.”

Devin: Well, that's — fine. I will send my representatives and they'll sort it out. Okay?

Tia: Uh, wonderful. Yes, your, your, your 29 thousand, uh, 874 dollars and 29 cents will be waiting for you, ma'am. Though, if you do withdraw all of your money, we cannot process our processing fee. You're going to be missing the violin soiree. So...

Janine: Devin has hung up.

Ali: [laughing]

Janine: [chuckling] I'm not going to that soiree either way. She's like 14. 15? I forget what I said. In that neighborhood.

Ali: Big Wig Casino. We'll hold your money for you. But...

Jack: [laughs] But?

Keith: It's just a dot dot dot, in the fine print.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: It leaves them... really, really, uh, uh, it gives them a lot of leeway, legally.

Ali: Security and a show, at Big Wig Casino.

Jack: It's violins this time around.

Janine: Security and a show? [chuckling]

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: Yeah, we'll, we'll — your money's safe with us.

Janine: Oh my god.

Ali: And for a low payment of 29.95 a month for our banking fees... You get a —

Keith: And, by the way, the employees that were being so funny and hilarious — You may think, Big Wig, that's a very important casino. No, this is just a casino where they wear big, funny wigs, and everybody's goofing around.

Ali: Mm-hm. Uh, yes, yes, yes. [laughing] Yep. Don't be professional on the phone. We are a Big Wig Casino.

Janine: So Devin, Devin hung up the phone, turns to everyone, and says —

Devin: So, good news and bad news.

Dax: Great, that's half good.

Darren: Mm-hm.

Devin: Uh-huh! So, the good news is, they, if you go and take the fish, they will give you some money. [chuckles]

Dudley: Ah. Ah.

Devin: The bad news is, it's like, uh, like an eighth, I think, of what you thought? Or something. I don't know math that great, I, it's, I kind of skipped that class a lot. Uh, what's 120...

Dudley: Oh.

Devin: They're going to give you 30K. Or like, slightly less even than that. It's not even an eighth, really, is it?

Dax: That's much less.

Janine: Like a fourth? Wait, it's more —

Keith: I think it's, I think you were basically right with an eight. With an eighth.

Janine: I don't think so, wait...

Keith: Oh, it's a fourth.

Janine: No, it's a fourth. It's a fourth. Yeah, yeah, because it's like 12 and 3. I, I, for some reason was thinking 16 in my head. [chuckles] Or, not 16, 24.

Devin: It, look, it doesn't, it doesn't... it doesn't matter. The point is... some, some money. But, that's something, right? We can...

Darren: That's party money.

Dudley: Yeah.

Dax: We can throw a party. We can —

Dudley: Yeah.

Devin: Yeah.

Dax: And then... you and I could split the rest.

Devin: Okay, let's do it.

Dudley: I'm sorry, I can't — I'm sorry you couldn't offer you 100,000, Dax. But, you suppose on the other side of it, it does mean that the crime I did was smaller.

Dax: Hm.

Darren: You betrayed the fish, man.

Dudley: Where did I — how did I betray the fish? I'm trying to make everything right.

Dax: You stole the fish and tried to sell it for money.

Dudley: Oh, stealing it, right, yes. That was a betrayal of the fish. Right, yeah.

Dax: Yes. Yeah.

Dudley: But I am trying to make it right, now.

Devin: It's not like you didn't promise to ever steal the fish.

Darren: Fish's —

Dax: I think that when you get hired as a zookeeper, that's an implicit promise to not steal any zoo animals.

Devin: Oh, yeah? Is that true, Mister Free Zoo? Mister just has some animals free for a free zoo?

Dax: Hey! I... got fired for that, for a long time. I paid the consequences.

Darren: Hm.

Dudley: Huh. Well.

Dax: And I was following the species code.

Jack: Uh, uh, [chuckling] Dudley looks over to Devin and says —

Dudley: It's very complicated.

Darren: He got his punishment in the court of god, bro —

Devin: Yeah, I don't —

Ali: Sorry, I was [snorts]

Jack: [laughs]

Ali: [laughing] I was sending you a text to see what Jack said before, to interject on this conversation.

Jack: [chuckling]

Devin: Uh, I don't know what that means, uh...

Darren: It means it's square. And that jaguar... he did right by it.

Devin: Okay, I —... okay. Y'all need to go to the bank. I mean the casino... bank. The bank casino? Whatever the fuck, I don't...

Ali: [laughing] Oh, boy.

Jack: Well... okay. So that's a black die for Janine.

Janine: Mm-hm.

Jack: And now it's, uh, it's Dax, I think.

Scene 7 [2:53:45]

Keith: Uh, yeah. You know, I, I think that, uh, we could hand-wave the casino stuff. I don't think we should, but I'm just, I'm just... letting that out there, as on option.

Ali: Ah, because we do only have two scenes left, so we have to think a little —

Keith: Right. One of these scenes, I — because it feels to me like, casino seen, that would be great, we have two scenes left. One of those feels like... you know, dealing with the, uh, showdown, with zoos, and one of those feels like the party, but those could be one scene, and we have space for the casino. So I guess it's, how do people feel?

Jack: Right. It would be one scene that would have the same outcome, both those things would have the same outcome. Which might be fine.

Ali: Right.

Jack: But, yes, if we combine the showdown and the party into one scene, they will, they will probably both be successes, which is, which is, you know, fine. Uh...

Ali: I, I... not that the casino wouldn't be a really fun scene, but I think that we just spent a lot of time there.

Jack: Yeah. Spiritually.

Ali: And I — yeah. And I feel like, I feel satisfied with what we've seen of Big Wig Casino. Uh...

Jack: Yeah, two idiots on the phone, and one person desperately trying to hold their shop together.

Ali: [chuckling] And, you know, we could keep doing that all night. But like, uh, we've settled the result of that scene already, right? Like, they're going to be given the money? Uh... because like, we wouldn't do that scene, have that scene fail, have them not get the money, I guess still do the party? Question mark? I guess I'm, I'm metagaming like way too much now in a way that I should not...

Janine: No, but that's a good, that's a good point, is that like, we've already gotten a fail for their, they've agreed to give them the money, but it's a smaller amount of money. If there's then a fail for like, they go to get the money and they're told they don't get the money, that's [chuckling]

Jack: I mean, they could lose the fish. The fish could escape on the way back.

Ali: [laughing]

Janine: Yeah... but how do we resolve that promptly?

Ali: Yeah.

Jack: That's true. I mean, I will say that I would just like one montage shot of Darren and Dax and Dudley in the back of like a cab, holding a fish bowl, or like holding an ice cream, uh, tub, with this fish in —

Ali: [chuckling]

Jack: On the way to the casino. And then a shot of them coming back, except, it's exactly the same, except they've got a big silver briefcase full of money.

Janine: [chuckles]

Jack: Uh, but I think that's all we need from the casino. The question is, you know, what, what is this Keith scene.

Ali: Yeah. And as Keith is the maestro here, if you were more interested in a casino result rather than like a party result or a showdown result. But I think... the, the dice, the game is the dice economy.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: So we should be thinking about what we want, our outcomes —

Keith: Yeah, we — yeah. So, I think that that's... the two questions, I think that all the reasons why not to do a casino scene were all the reasons I was thinking of. I think that I basically agree. Uh... which is, you know, is sort of an unfortunate thing of the scene economy.

Ali: The way Bluff City works, we, we may see [laughing] Big Wig Casino again in the future, so...

Keith: Yeah. Uh... so, there's the, like, narrative of, like, what we want to see happen first. Does the showdown happen, and the party is the result of the outcome of the showdown? Or does the party happen, and the showdown is the result of the outcome of the party? And that's like the really consideration. And I guess I —

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: Like, I don't know exactly which one of those I think is better? Uh... in my head, the party's like about to happen. And then the showdown is the real, you know, climax. But...

Jack: But this next scene is going to be a failure.

Keith: Yes. Do we want the showdown to be a failure? Or do we want the showdown to be a success? Or —

Ali: Hm...

Keith: Oh, I guess, sorry, in my head I'm thinking, Jack is going to pick a success at the end. But that's also not necessarily true.

Ali: Right, yeah.

Janine: True, yeah.

Jack: But I probably will, because —

Keith: Okay.

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: I don't know, we'll see.

Ali: We'll see where our hearts are, are following us.

Jack: I mean, I might want to frame the scene, and then you will get to decide whether it's a success or failure. That rule doesn't change.

Ali: Yeah. Uh-huh.

Janine: Hm...

Keith: Right, right. Right. Uh... I... [laughing] I, I want a failure [laughing] of a party. That's what I want.

Ali: [chuckling] Okay.

Keith: I want a failure of a party. I don't know what that means.

Jack: Okay. Okay.

Ali: The magic of storytelling.

Jack: The car pulls up outside as you're waiting outside on a little break. And the, the tall, thin bald-headed figure of councilman Ort gets out of the car. And he sees you, and he says —

Jack (as Ort): A-ha, ha... you managed to get your, your job back, did you, Mister Leopard?

Dax: Uh... it was really a matter of the people at the zoo wanting me back.

Ort: Oh... well, I'm glad to hear that, I'm glad to hear that, and I'm glad to see that the party is, uh... well, could you, uh, give me a little tour around what you've got planned tonight?

Dax: Uh, of course. We've got monkeys wearing hats, there's 44.

Ort: [fake laughs] Ah, ha-ha. Oh... how droll.

Dax: Uh, they love the hats. This is actually their favorite activity. So, uh, it's more about what the animals want. Uh... then we have, uh, set up here, uh, the, uh, hummingbird feeders, set up in various shapes. And we have LEDs on the humming birds. They fly around, and it's sort of a little light show, that the hummingbirds put on, you know?

Ort: [half-heartedly] Beautiful. Delightful. Yes.

Dax: Uh... we have, uh, uh, suction bow and arrow, contest, archery contest.

Ort: Oh, oh. And this is animal-themed how?

Dax: Because the... African mega-fauna love to watch archery.

Ort: Do they?

Dax: Yes.

Ort: [chuckling] Fascinating. Fascinating.

Dax: Giraffes and rhinoceroses, you know, you can see their prime audience for... and, you know, this is what we try to do here at Zoo 2. This is sort of, the humans are having a party, but the, the animals appreciate what they're seeing as much as the humans. There's the sort of interplay that we're looking to foster, uh, here in this body.

Ort: In the what?

Dax: In the body. The zoo is a body. And —

Ort: What? The zoo is what?

Dax: Just to have a healthy — well, think of the, you know, the, uh, interaction between the lungs and the blood. Uh... where, uh, the... oxygen is permeating through to your, uh, blood vessels, so that oxygen is carried all throughout the body, and that is the sort of interaction we want to see between, uh, zoo animals and zoo audiences.

Ort: No, no, you're wrong.

Dax: Uh... I'm not wrong.

Ort: Uh, a zoo is... is not a, a body. A city is a body. A zoo is a small, uh, organ. Not, not necessary, but valuable.

Dax: Worlds within worlds.

Ort: What?

Dax: Have you seen Men in Black?

Ort: What?

Dax: Have you seen Men in Black? Worlds within worlds.

Ali: [snorts]

Ort: No, I'm not familiar with Men in... Men in Black.

Dax: Oh my god. You've got to see Men in Black. Well, at the end... well, it's worlds within worlds.

Ort: And the reptiles... you have a reptile exhibit?

Dax: Uh, yeah. Here they are. They've got, this is a, uh... uh... sort of gourmet station for the reptiles. They're playing food critic, and the guests can line up, uh, four foods in a row, and a reptile comes up, chooses which of the four foods, and then it's sort of like a little contest, so we can kind out what foods the reptiles most prefer to eat. They eat a lot of fruit and vegetable. Uh, and then a little bit of meat, some of them. Uh, and, uh, yeah, just a sort of little gourmet game.

Ort: Let's give it a go, shall we?

Dax: Yeah, sure.

Ali: [laughs]

Dax: So you've got your crane here. It's sort of like a claw game at an arcade. We fixed it up to actually claw every time. Uh, and, uh, apple, tomato, kiwi fruit, and, uh, chicken liver. And you can set those there. And, uh, then I'll press the button and open it for a river iguana.

Ort: River iguanas... little, little... a little dull. You got anything, uh, anything bigger?

Dax: Yes. I will say that the iguana is over 8 feet long, if you include the tail. It's plenty big. Maybe you're thinking of a sort of pet store iguana, but the iguana is a very big animal.

Ort: Any, uh, snakes?

Dax: Oh, yeah. Got a big snake, Ralph. Big boy. Ralph the big boy.

Jack: [chuckling] Ort licks his lips.

Ort: I think that's a good idea, yeah.

Dax: All right. Uh...

Keith: I motion for them to switch Ralph in, and Ralph is enormous. [chuckling] Ralph is so big, bigger than, not just bigger than average for... Jack, what species is Ralph? Did we see?

Jack: Uh, a big fucking snake. I, I — when I picture, when I picture Ralph, uh, uh, it's, uh, god... is it the first level of Hitman 2, Janine, where there's some sort of weird pet in the house that's never talked about or addressed?

Janine: I don't... think so?

Keith: Is it, is it over those like, yellow pythons? A Burmese python?

Jack: There's a woman who's like, she has like a dog or something, but it's like, implied that it's not a dog.

Janine: Oh, yeah — uh, that is a thing. I don't think it's in the house.

Jack: Uh, I think the thing that I'm going for with Ralph is that it's like, this is an animal who is, who is sinister and unknowable, uh, on [chuckling] some level.

Keith: Okay.

Jack: Uh, so I think that this is a snake that, that has, uh, uh, slow-blinking, evil eyes. I think that Ralph has a, has a strange pattern of emeralds and diamonds down his back.

Keith: Mm-hm.

Jack: This is very much Ralph if, uh, — Ralph — very much Rupert, if Rupert was a, was a snake.

Keith: Okay. So, this is a, this is a snake, I would love, I mean, I'm, I don't want to show you pictures of snakes, Jack. Uh, uh, but, there is, uh, a kind of snake that is a very popular pet snake, that is a, uh, Burmese python. They're often, I think it's called, I think they're leucistic. And so they're the color, the exact color and pattern of a buttered-popcorn Jelly Belly. But this can be whatever —

Jack: Wow.

Keith: This can be whatever color you want. It's not really about the color. But, just so that people know what I'm thinking of. These things are, uh, the circumference of — more than the circumference of like, a human thigh, or, you know, maybe, I would say probably like, maybe 50 percent bigger than a human thigh, around. And, you know... 20 feet long, something like that. Uh, they're huge, uh, when they're fully grown.

Jack: Incredible.

Keith: And I would say that this is a record-breakingly large, sort of abnormally large, one of those.

Jack: Brilliant.

Janine: You gave me a horrifying idea, which is that, because — part of the Zoo is a Body theme, I wonder if, like, animals where you could make a comparison, like — oh, it looks like a hand — or whatever. Or for a snake, where it's like — oh, it's about the circumference of a thigh. Did they thread the snake through a pair of shorts? Like, loose, so it's not uncomfortable, but like —

Keith: [cracking up]

Janine: But like, it's in, like...

Keith: Yes, this —

Janine: Like the legs of, of some like, knee-length jorts or something? [laughs] Just a thought.

Keith: Okay, it's —

Janine: I was pitching.

Keith: Uh...

Ali: Knee-length jorts?

Keith: Skirt? Wearing a skirt?

Janine: Yeah, but then I guess it's just —

Jack: Wearing a skirt? [chuckling]

Janine: A snake in a skirt, and it's not about how the snake is like, the width of legs.

Keith: Right. Well, this snake, I think, could be maybe the width of... a human person wearing a skirt.

Janine: [chuckling] Okay.

Ort: So, how do I, uh, uh... offer it...

Janine: Or they could put a sock on it. Anyway. [chuckles]

Keith: Oh, a little sock on the tail.

Ali: Oh, like a stocking, yeah.

Janine: Yeah, a thigh-high knit sock.

Keith: I, I quickly teach Ort?

Jack: Ort. Ort.

Keith: I quickly teach Ort how to use a joystick.

Ort: Oh, ah... fun.

Ali: [laughing]

Janine: [chuckling] Oh my god.

Ali: The way I always feel when I interact with a joystick.

Jack: Uh-huh.

Keith: This, this, this guy is, I think, literally a vampire.

Ali: Oh, probably.

Jack: [chuckles] His, his — his full name is, uh, Ail Esale Ort. Ort is his surname. [chuckles] Uh, which, it was the name I was going to use in Partizan for a character, but it turns out that I, I had to cut it because of Agon Ortlights, who's another great Ort.

Ali: Mmm.

Jack: Uh, and when I looked it up, uh, Austin got the name Agon Ortlights from, uh, seeing Newport Lights cut in half, like the, the cigarettes.

Janine: Oh...

Ali: Oh, wow.

Keith: Right.

Jack: Uh, and I got the name Ail Esale Ort from seeing a door that was like, mail resale port, or like mail something port. Uh, but the door was like half-open, so it just said Ail Esale Ort down one side.

Janine: I thought you were going to say that you got it from listening to an evil song backwards.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: [laughs]

Keith: That's very funny that you both got it from seeing something halfway.

Jack: I know, it was great. Well, and, uh, I, I felt really vindicated, because I was really sad that I had to cut Ort's, cut Ort as a character name because of Agon Ortlights, and then when I realized what, how, Agon Ortlights came about, I was like, “Ah, they are brothers.”

Keith: [laughs]

Jack: But they're not. Uh, uh, uh, Ail Esale Ort is, is evil. Uh, yeah.

Ort: So, uh, uh, uh, what can I, uh, feed, feed... feed him?

Dax: Uh, whichever, uh, you know, whichever meal you want to present, and then the, then the... Ralph gets to choose, uh, which one, uh, is tastiest. They've got a great sense of smell, and they, they'll decide pretty quickly which of these meals is right for them.

Ort: I think it would be very funny if we gave the snake something that, uh, was like a fruit or a vegetable, [chuckling] something that a snake wouldn't usually eat.

Dax: Yeah, yeah, go. Give it a, give it a shot. Some tomato on there.

Ort: I'll give — I'll give the snake a piece of tasty apple. This balcony feels a little loose.

Ali: [snorts]

Jack: Uh, then I think we're probably good, right?

Keith: [laughing] Uh, yeah, I think we're good. That's a black die.

Jack: [chuckling] And as we learn from the texts, in case you're following along, message, uh, uh, 6 minutes ago from Darren, “Has anyone checked on Ralph, by the way? I heard me didn't get his massage. This snake is going to be carrying a lot of anxiety in his length, man. Did we do a sound buff this morning?” At Dudley, “Did you do the sound buff?” Dudley, “The what? For — no, I did not.”

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: [cackling]

Jack: Darren, “See Ralph's sound buff. He can't go to a party preoccupied, man. He's a very anxious snake.”

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: Dudley, 4 minutes ago, “He'll be chill if he doesn't eat any fruit, don't let him eat fruit.” Darren, “He's too self-conscious in crowds.”

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: Dudley, “I know, bro, I love that little guy. He tries, but sometimes he get overwhelms — overwhelmed.” Uh...

Ali: [chuckling]

Janine: Ugh...

Keith: Ugh...

Janine: A mogwai situation now.

Keith: Does this thing eat Ort?

Jack: Yeah, the snake fully eats Ort.

Keith: Okay.

Jack: Ort tumbles from the loose balcony into the —

Ali: Woah...

Janine: Ah, okay. I was wondering if that's where we were going, and then you just stopped [chuckling] and I was like, “Wait a second.”

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: Stopped to read the texts.

Ali: [laughing] Well, no, because it was like.

Janine: Yes, I —

Ali: This balcony is very unstable. Okay, end scene! [laughing]

Janine: I wasn't sure if you were like, baiting Keith into murdering Ort.

Jack: [laughing] Into killing Ort. I thought about that early, but I know that, uh, that Darren is too, uh, sorry, I know that Dax is too good-hearted.

Janine: Mmm, mm-hm.

Keith: Mmm.

Jack: Uh, but yes, uh, somewhere in the reptile zone, uh, the, uh, giant snake Ralph has just eaten the councilman.

Keith: Now that's a party! [mouth-sputters a melody jokingly]

Jack: Uh, lentilswede in the chat says [chuckling], “I read it as a cutaway before extreme violence.” Yes. [chuckles]

Janine: [chuckles]

Jack: That's what I was going for, was the, uh...

Ali: [chuckling]

Jack: Well, nothing bad can go... [wheezes] go, can happen here.

Keith: Well, we did very something, something very interesting instead, which is you think that it's going to cut away, right before extreme violence, and then, after a minute, it cuts back to show you the extreme violence —

Jack: [chuckling] To see Ort getting —

Keith: That you thought that it was sparing you, but it didn't.

Janine: The camera was panning away directly towards a mirror.

Jack: Yes. [laughs]

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: Oh, that's a really good move, god.

Ali: [laughs]

Keith: A massive snake with its full —

Jack: That's really funny.

Keith: Jaw around the shoulders of a human. Which, a large enough Burmese —

Janine: But also threaded through a pair of shorts or a skirt [chuckling] we haven't decided.

Keith: Yeah. Uh... [pause] A Burmese python, I think, you know at a extreme large end, might be just big enough to get around the shoulders of a human.

Jack: Eugh...

Keith: But wouldn't, because they're very gentle creatures.

Jack: Yeah — oh, yeah, absolutely. But they know evil.

Keith: Right.

Jack: When they see it.

Keith: They know evil when they see it.

Jack: I saw some talk in the chat, “Is that bad for Dax? Is the evil councilman getting eaten bad for Dax?” I think what is bad for Dax is that the councilman in charge of zoos just got eaten —

Keith: At a zoo.

Jack: At the, at the party.

Janine: It's —

Keith: I'm, let me ask you this.

Ali: Yeah...

Janine: It's kind of a bad vibe for a party, [chuckling] when someone gets eaten.

Ali: Yeah...

Keith: Yeah. Well, let me ask you this, how much have you heard about Segways recently?

Jack: Oh!

Janine: Yeah...

Ali: Huh?

Keith: Uh, the Segway guy that died on a Segway? [snorts]

Janine: Yeah...

Ali: [gasps] Oh...

Jack: Huh.

Janine: But also, the Zoo is a Body now is, “The Zoo has a Body.” Like the body, there's a body in the zoo.

Ali: Right, yeah.

Keith: That is poetic in a sense.

Janine: That is in a snake. [laughing] I guess.

Ali: Consequences are going to stream down low from. Down... down... low. [laughing]

Keith: [laughs]

Janine: [laughing]

Jack: You got there, Ali, it's fine.

Janine: Consequences will be streamingly downloaded via Spotify to all of those participating —

Ali: [cackling]

Keith: [cracking up]

Janine: In the zoo party.

Scene 8 [3:14:23]

Jack: Uh, what I would like to do is get some images of elsewhere in the party. Uh, while I like the idea of, uh, snake carnage happening over at the reptile zone, but I also don't want to, uh, I don't want to move past the party planning elsewhere.

Ali: I, you know, I think I've made Darren's position at this party clear, where he is micromanaging. He is on the zoo radio, in touch with all of the different teams. He's letting people know —

Jack: Oh, I thought you meant on the zoo radio, like a school radio.

Ali: [snorts] [laughs] No... no, I think he's just, he's just checking in with all the teams, seeing if there's any issues and making them, uh, you know... the, the — putting them on the #animal-drama in the Slack, so it can get taken care of. Other such issues mentioned as, uh, the monkeys are trading hats, which isn't an issue yet, but cannot vibe aesthetically, and then, birds got into the punch bowls, because we put Kool-Aid in the birdbaths.

Keith: [laughing] Uh...

Ali: So...

Jack: Uh...

Keith: Hey, I'll say, a guy already died. So some of the other party stuff can go well.

Ali: Mm-hm! [laughing] Well, you know —

Jack: Yeah, that's true.

Ali: There's a lot to keep track of. But, you know, we can, we can zoom in some, uh, moments of joy, for sure.

Jack: Yeah.

Janine: I think Devin has like, one of those, like a plastic anatomy, like, like if — an anatomy model that would be like, full of lungs and whatever, but it's just like the plastic shell shaped like a person.

And she's kind of like, Habitrail-ed it for Popcorner to like, scurry around, like, as kind of a display because they don't have any other chinchillas, so it's kind of just like a chinchilla scurrying around in this plastic body, and there's like a dust thing around the feet, and then maybe a little hammock around the like, shoulder area. Uh, some like [chuckling] uh, some wooden sticks that are stuck in there to like, chew on and jump on. [laughs]

Jack: Beautiful! God. Little guy's having a great time.

Janine: Yeah.

Keith: Dust bath.

Jack: Dudley —

Janine: Yeah, dust — dustin’ the feet.

Keith: Oh, dustin’ the feet, yeah.

Janine: At the bottom, yeah, yeah.

Jack: Uh, Dudley is, uh... in the rich fish exhibit, uh, uh, looking with pride at the fish that has come back, or rather, that has reappeared in the, in the, in the rich fish zone. And is sort of saying, you know, like, things to the effect of, “You and me, buddy, we got through it, we do great, everything's turned out fine.” [chuckles]

Keith: Fish is back?

Jack: Yeah, returned for the party.

Keith: Wow. Just in time, little buddy.

Jack: Exactly. That's the kind of thing I'm saying, just in time, uh, uh, there's a big poster that says, “An Aquarium is a Body.”

Keith: [chuckles]

Jack: Brackets, “A swimming body.” Uh... and, uh, yeah. People are enjoying, people are enjoying cocktails. There's a bit of a draw, not enough of a draw that makes it, uh, uh, an immediate instant concern when the councilman gets eaten by a snake. But people there, they're enjoying the cocktail. Like it's a well-planned party.

Ali: Oh, there should be like a little VIP area where you can, uh...

Keith: [gasps] Very important pigs, and the peccaries are there!

Ali: [gasps] And the peccaries are there, yeah. I'm thinking a little bit of like how...

Keith: Sorry for hijacking that.

Ali: No, no, no it's fine. [giggles] The way that like, Epcot will, will like, sell passes to certain spots of their, like, weird spiral, so you can like, stand in a better area to like, look at the fireworks? Uh... and, like, a zoo doing that to like, show off different vantage points of the, uh...

Jack: Oh, yeah.

Ali: [laughs] The, the enclosures or whatever, or like, “Oh, here we like set up some tables and chairs on like an overpass or whatever,” and have like an exclusive bar station there, and it's like, “Oh, you can see both zoos. It's two zoos. It's two 2 zoos, you know?” [chuckles] [snorts] Like a little —

Jack: Oh, you can see Zoo Free and Zoo — [chuckles] Yeah, absolutely, it's great.

Keith: Uh... oh, we have one —

Janine: You have to pay extra to see Zoo Free [laughing]

Jack: [laughs]

Ali: Well, you have to have gotten, like a sticker or —

Janine: Uh-huh.

Ali: A pass that, you know, an upgraded ticket to get you into the spots.

Keith: Uh, we've got, we have one co-, uh, exhibit between the two. So you can see it from both sides. And... it's bobbing for apples, but it's the giraffes that are bobbing for apples, and they're sticking their necks out of Zoo 2 pen, and dunking their heads into a big tin full of apples in Zoo Free.

Jack: Perfect.

Keith: I like the image of a giraffe trying to get its head down to the ground [laughing] to get an apple.

Jack: To —

Keith: What a fucking idiot! [laughs]

Jack: Oh god. Okay, I think this is, uh, this is a failure. Uh...

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: Uh, I think this is a failure, because I think that, that the, that the tide turns quickly.

Keith: Well you have... 90 minutes of a fairly successful event, and then the sort of thing happens that people run screaming from.

Jack: Yes, yes.

Ali: [chuckling]

Jack: And I don't think we need to go into detail with the running and screaming, but the party has a — there is a moment at which the party turns, and it's about 20 minutes after the councilman was eaten. Uh...

Keith: Oh, not... not the, the actual minute?

Ali: [pause] Snakes take a while.

Jack: I don't know if people noticed. I don't know if there were people in the reptile zone.

Keith: Well, I was there, and you said — you did say the [chuckling] balcony collapses, which is a sort of attention-attractor.

Jack: [laughs]

Ali: [snorts]

Jack: You know, Keith? That's a good point.

Ali: [cackling]

Jack: I hear the argument you're making.

Janine: He's fucking got you there.

Keith: [laughs]

Jack: I think he did get me there. I don't think I could, [laughing] I don't think I can rationalize my way out of this one. I think it might have kicked off as soon as he got [chuckling] eaten by the snake.

Keith: Yeah. This is where I'm picturing the running and screaming.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Jack: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100 percent.

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: Uh...

Keith: Sorry for not letting you have a slow dread spread over the party.

Jack: No, no, no, that's okay. I, I feel the slow dread of snake regularly.

Ali: But it's like a — like — uh... imagine if you, like... if you're in an amusement park that's one thing if people scream, but if you were in a space like a mall or something, and you hear... screaming on the other side of it.

Janine: Never mind a —

Ali: That is like, news that has to filter out. That is like, a scary thing to have happened.

Keith: Yeah, that's true.

Jack: Yeah, truly. I guess the —

Janine: But if you're at a zoo and you hear a scream? [pause] How fast can you respond?

Jack: Uh...

Ali: Maybe there's like a, “Ah, that's a hippo!” And then there's, “Ah, a murder happened.” But like — [laughs]

Keith: And kids scream, kids at zoos, I can kind of —

Ali: [chuckling] There's violence.

Keith: See. And then Zoo Free's like technically —

Janine: Yeah, okay.

Keith: Like, in a separate little area. So I, you know.

Janine: Right.

Keith: I can still see it either way.

Jack: [Rebloak] in the chat says, “This feels like the sort of situation Detective English French would have to deal with.” Uh, explicitly no, unless this is happening on New Year's Eve —

Ali: [cackling]

Jack: Otherwise he is not working. [chuckles]

Ali: Oh, English French.

Jack: Oh, what a guy. Yeah, we did the time warp again. Sadly, it's not New Year's, so English French [laughing] is not on contract.

Ali: [laughs]

Jack: Uh... but I do —

Ali: But don't forget that name.

Jack: Yeah, don't forget that name.

Ali: [snorts]

Jack: Don't forget that name. New Year's happens every year. Uh...

Keith: Oh my god, I never thought about it like that, but it does.

Jack: Yeah, you get one New Year's every year. Uh, and depending on when you're counting, it can be on any day. But most people agree that it is on one of two. Uh... should we do a showdown?

Keith: Yeah, let's do a showdown.

Ali: I’d like to see a showdown, yeah.

Jack: [laughs]

Ali: [snorts]

Jack: Janine... Janine. Is, is, is —

Janine: Uh-huh?

Jack: Georgia Zeller at this party?

Janine: Uh, I don't think she knew this was happening [chuckles].

Ali: Oh, did we give, we, we gave Keith the — no, because we should only have one die left, right? So Keith needs his —

Keith: I need my black die, please.

Ali: Okay, okay. I was just making sure.

Janine: Mm-hm.

Jack: Yeah.

Keith: I am not allowed to touch it. It's against the law. It has to be given to me.

Ali: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Keith: The only law I respect —

Jack: Okay...

Keith: The law of the table.

Ali: Mmm.

Janine: How come... Jack has 4 die and Ali has 3, but it's Jack's turn?

Ali: I don't know. I started with less, I think in the, the autonomy of the die passing —

Jack: First round?

Ali: It wasn't even out.

Janine: Oh, sure, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, sorry, yeah.

Keith: Wait...

Jack: I had exactly the same panic earlier.

Keith: What, what is it that —

Janine: Yeah.

Keith: Oh, right, because of the first round, someone can give you —

Janine: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Keith: Your — a die, and you end up with uneven amounts, right.

Janine: Yeah. Okay. So... where are we at?

Keith: It is Jack's turn, and they... I guess, technically, are, have yet to reveal if they are, uh, framing a scene, or if we are framing their scene.

Janine: Yeah. [pause] Yeah.

Jack: Which is more fun?

Keith: Uh... [sighs] I...

Jack: Is it more interesting if I decide? Or is it more interesting if you decide?

Keith: I can say that, that... I would not like to decide. [chuckles] I don't know if that makes it the right decision. But I don't... uh, the, the, uh, the, the way to wrap — the scene to wrap this up is not leaping off the page to me.

Jack: I have one, but it's not Dudley-related. And this is a Dudley — it's Devin-related, but this is a Dudley scene.

Keith: Well you can just, you can — you can frame it in a way that puts you there.

Janine: Does... Devin's mom also not know that she hired [laughs] Dudley back?

Jack: Well the thing I was thinking is that with Ort gone, there is a, uh, very sudden power vacuum.

Janine: Mmm.

Jack: Uh, and we know that Devin wants to get respect from DE Hitchcock the IV, even though he's dead. Uh, and, you know, there — there is a way that we play this scene out with, with Devin kind of assuming the, uh, assuming some level of control over Bluff City zoos. Uh... but I don't know if that is the play. I, uh, the showdown —

Keith: Uh, there's — what we could do is, do a small leap forward. And have the like, final Zoo 2 walkthrough, like, from someone on the council, who is like, “What is going on here, someone died.” How is Zoo 3: Zoo of the Night shaping up? What has Zoo 2 been doing? Uh, Sam Sandwich, wanted us to... make Zoo 2 good enough that they can't close it. Do we do that? Have we done that?

Jack: Right.

Keith: Someone, someone can show up that has to decide if we did that.

Jack: Right. Is there a way we abstract this where we do the like, end of Until Dawn style — and I know this is pre-montage, because we, we don't know how these characters are going to end up, necessarily, but for our final, for our final scene that can get a dice attached, do we do the sort of Until Dawn style ending talking heads, of the characters making the case individually to the, to the people? Is that a fun way to do it?

Keith: Oh, like a, like documentary shot of like —

Jack: [chuckling] Yeah.

Keith: Yeah, okay.

Jack: Uh, or do we want... let's...

Keith: I don't, I think that's kind of funny, having a — I think it's, it is a, uh, it's a shame to not have an interact-y scene, but it is also funny to end it with no one interacting.

Jack: [chuckles] Or do we —

Keith: [laughing] Especially because no one really interacted in the last scene, either.

Jack: Well, someone interacted with a snake.

Keith: [laughing] Right, interacted right through it.

Jack: This is an argument for [laughing] having, for having an interaction. Oh, uh...

Keith: No, I thought you were saying not to have an interaction.

Jack: No, but, but, but — but, we didn't have an interaction in the last one, might be an argument for having an interaction in —

Keith: Oh, sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Uh...

Jack: Yeah, I think I, I think I have a place to begin.

Keith: Okay.

Jack: Which is...

Keith: And are you... are you framing this, or is this...

Jack: I will, I will frame the —

Keith: Okay.

Jack: I will frame this. Uh... rubbing my, I'm rubbing my eyes. I know it's late, and I know it's late, especially, for you. Uh... [pause] Devin. I think Dudley meets you in the, uh, “Eat with Birds” area. The zoo is closed today, because of the, uh, the, the problem. Uh... and, uh, Dudley, uh, opens up a little folded piece of paper, and it's a check for, uh, well, how much do we get? We got 30,000. It's a check for 20,000 dollars. Uh... uh, and says —

Dudley: Okay, here you go. I said I'd make good. Things got kind of busy yesterday. I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want to sort of — make it all good with paying of the day, but this is for getting me my job back. This is fish money. I wanted to thank you for what you did.

Devin: … I can't believe that guy got eaten by a snake.

Dudley: Yeah, I, I... I don't know anything about that.

Keith: [laughs]

Dudley: Ralph's not supposed to act like that, and, and, and I've been trying to smooth it over with him. But, as far as I can see, it was just like a, like a, “We hold no liability,” type situation. I think it's all going to get smoothed over.

Devin: Did you know he could eat people?

Dudley: Additionally — [pause] uh... well I know he had —

Devin: Has he eaten people before?

Dudley: No, no-no. I knew he had a rambunctious spirit.

Keith: [laughing]

Dudley: Uh, maybe it was something about all those chinchillas. Maybe he got a taste for chinchillas and then he didn't get any, because after I got fired I wasn't able to feed him any chinchillas. I don't, I don't know. It was, it was like a bad look. But I'm really hoping that it'll, it'll all kind of get smoothed out.

Jack: Gently pushes the check across the table, a little closer towards you.

Janine: She takes the check, but she is like, clearly still... hung up on, on... a guy got eaten by a snake at a party she threw.

Dudley: It's... it's zoos, Devin, you know? A zoo is a body, and sometimes a body has teeth.

Devin: Well, sometimes a body eats itself, I've heard that. I've heard that sometimes you can have conditions where your body eats itself.

Dudley: Right. That's maybe one way of thinking about it, yeah. But look, if — we wouldn't be in this business, if we... if this kind of thing got us down, bro! So I think that we can just all... this can all... I think, people can put good words in other people's ears, right?

Janine: Sorry, [laughing] Annie is crying so loudly outside the door —

Ali: Aw!

Janine: And I think Discord is hiding it, but chat can definitely hear it. [laughs]

Keith: [laughing]

Janine: Uh, they think it's Virginia, unfortunately, which is... not. [laughing] I don't think Virginia has lungs like that.

Jack: It's — oh, Virginia is definitely not allowed in here right now, because I've had the door closed.

Janine: Yeah, that's also the problem that Annie is having.

Jack: Ah.

Ali: [giggling]

Janine: [chuckles] Uh, she's just that loud. Uh...

Keith: Some cats cannot suffer a closed door.

Janine: No, they cannot. They cannot. Uh...

Devin: So, you want me to put in a good word? Or like, what are you asking?

Dudley: I'm... I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just going to try to speak from my heart, okay? And put it out there. [pause] Your mom is now the highest-ranking member of the Bluff City Zoo scheme.

Devin: I don't think they like it if you call it a scheme.

Dudley: I, I'm speaking from the heart, bro!

Devin: I know that's what it says, but... I — [laughing] okay.

Dudley: I — you know, when I speak from the heart it's a little tricky, sometimes, to find the words. I'm just saying that maybe if you were to... maybe, and you've been taking on a lot of the responsibilities of your mom.

Devin: Yeah, my grades are terrible right now.

Dudley: Okay. I hear what you're saying. But maybe I'll even... I can't believe I'm saying this. Maybe I'll throw in a case of beer.

Devin: Are you good at like, chemistry or something?

Dudley: I manage reptiles.

Devin: So like biology, like the biology degree?

Dudley: Uh... no. Uh... I was, I — well, I specialized in art history, but then — it's a long story.

Devin: Okay. Do you know someone who like, knows a science?

Dudley: Well, I know all sorts of, I know all sorts of people. What, what, what do you, what are you getting at?

Devin: Okay — listen. I want you to find someone to do my, my chemistry homework for me.

Dudley: Oh.

Jack: [chuckles]

Dudley: I can do that, probably fine.

Devin: It's, it's just dragging my average down so hard. Can you?

Dudley: Just, probably, right? It's just chemistry homework, right?

Keith: [chuckles]

Dudley: I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not 14.

Keith: [cracking up]

Dudley: Anyway, can you please smooth over the zoo crisis caused by my snake eating your boss's boss? [Jack laughing]

Devin: If you can tell me what an electron is. [Janine laughing]

Dudley: It's the little thing that goes in the thing, bro. I'll be fine.

Janine: [laughing]

Devin: I'll see what I can do.

Jack: Uh, uh... and then, is there anything else I want to... hit? I mean, you guys need to decide the die, is the other thing. Oh...

Keith: Uh, I mean, that sounded white to me. That sounded like a white die to me.

Ali: Mmm.

Jack: Do we want, do we want something with the bros? Or is this something that we can get in, in outro montage?

Ali: Uh... I don't feel like anything's, like, pressing. It feels like we had a lot of schemes happening at once, but like, all of them are insignificant after a... death.

Keith: Well, the fate of Zoo 3 is of interest to me.

Ali: Right.

Keith: Every, most of the other schemes seemed like they're solved. I presumably got a check for 10,000 dollars.

Jack: Yeah, you did. From me.

Keith: Yeah, uh... and, uh, but that is something that technically, we could do in a monologue, or in the outro.

Ali: Yeah.

Keith: Because I haven't, uh, like the outro can decide how that went. Because at this point, you know... like, I'll, I'll, I'll say at least, if this outcome is good, then it seems like we're not losing Zoo 2. But that says nothing about our personal fates.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Jack: Which is always incredible in Fiasco.

Keith: Right.

Jack: Uh... [chuckles] you can, you can attempt to read how the dice are going to, but, but...

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: Ish.

Keith: I'll say, it's looking great for Ali.

Ali: [laughing] Yeah.

Jack: It is looking great for Ali.

Ali: We'll see what those numbers say.

The Aftermath [3:37:40]

Jack: Uh, okay. Should we move on to the aftermath?

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: Sure.

Jack: Uh, okay. So I am going to take this die, and I'm going to put it over here, communicate that it is a white die.

Keith: Gotcha.

Ali: Can we change the color through roll20?

Jack: I don't know how. I right-clicked it... choose side...

Keith: Yeah, I gave it the name, “White,” but that's all I could do.

Janine: Just put a, put a, like, scribble on it. Just [laughing] scribble over it, white or something.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: Oh, wait, put it back —

Ali: Hold on, we know.

Keith: In the middle.

Jack: Nope. Fuck. [laughing]

Janine: [chuckling]

Jack: [laughs] No, fuck. Oh, nice, Keith.

Keith: Boom. [laughs]

Jack: And I'll put this in here, because I will need to roll it. Look at that, look at that white die.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: Beautiful.

Jack: Okay, I'm —

Keith: Don't mind me, just a normal white die here.

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: [chuckles] I am going to open up the Fiasco rulebook, so that I can read about the aftermath. Because what we're doing is fairly simple, but I think it would be good to have it, uh, introduced.

Ali: Yeah, there's a lot of... rules here. And there's a little bit of math.

Janine: Mm-hm.

Ali: So we're going to need some charts.

Jack: [reading] The Aftermath is usually the games denouement. It's likely that the action has peaked, and that's totally okay. By this point, we can probably see each character's general trajectory, but there's still time for tragic and unwholesome surprises. The aftermath should be told in montage, and it should be fast. How it works: roll all the dice in front of your character. Total them by color, as in the tilt. So let's start by rolling all the die, and then I will explain what I mean by, total them all by color.

Keith: Uh, sorry, we're rolling all of our dies now?

Ali: Mm-hm.

Jack: Yeah, in front, in front of you.

Janine: Am I not in the right layer?

Jack: Uh...

Janine: Why can't I do it?

Keith: Ooh, this is looking good for me.

Jack: So what you want to do is add the values of all the whites together, and then add the values of all the blacks together. Then, subtract the smallest result from the largest by associating this value with the color that was the greatest result. Does that make sense? I can walk through an example.

Janine: Hang on a second, no I haven't figured out, [chuckles] I haven't — I forget how to roll.

Jack: Uh, select them all and —

Keith: Uh...

Janine: Oh, multi-sided, random-side. Okay.

Keith: I'm slightly worried that one of my die doesn't roll.

Janine: Uh-oh. [laughing] This went bad.

Ali: I have a —

Keith: I'm going to, I'm going to try again and see if it changes. Okay, it did change. So this is actually... a 1. I realized, up here it says, rolling 1, rolling 1. That was me rolling and not realizing, I was rolling it again, and it still didn't change. I was like, oh, is this not rolling? But it is rolling. I just got 1, three times in a row.

Jack: [chuckles] So, by way of example, I have a white 6, that's a white 6 and a white 2, together makes, uh, white 8. Uh, and then I have a black 5, and two black 2s, making black 9. I subtract the, uh, the smaller from the larger to make a total of 1. And this is a black 1, uh, because, uh, the originally higher amount was the black die. Does that make sense?

Keith: Yeah. [pause] So I'm a 9.

Jack: Uh, a 9 what?

Keith: A black 9.

Ali: I'm a white 9.

Janine: [laughing] I'm 0.

Ali: [gasps]

Janine: Which is, which is the worst thing in the universe.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: [gasps]

Keith: Oh, no!

Janine: Uh-huh!

Keith: Oh, no! Poor Devin.

Ali: Oh, no...

Janine: I, I thankfully have a good idea of what to do with this. [chuckling]

Jack: Oh, this is incredible.

Ali: Woah...

Jack: God, this truly is fiasco. Okay. Next —

Keith: The character — one of the characters that's felt the safest, really.

Janine: Yeah. You know, the roll, it's the roll.

Jack: Oh, interesting.

Ali: This is Fiasco.

Janine: The roll will, the roll will get you.

Jack: Uh, interestingly, uh, it says, for me, “Note that if you ended up with the game's final die, and it was decided that it was the opposite color, you can ignore that now.”

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: Other than choosing the outcome for the final scene, this choice has no effect. You don't have to remember that a white die is actually black. So my total is — oh, fuck, I just closed roll20. Shit, I meant to click [laughs] over to the tab. My total is actually, oh, man... I had white 2... black 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Black 9 minus white 2 is black 7, right? Yes.

Keith: Wait, are people —

Jack: Oh, chat is saying it's black —

Keith: Miscounting yours, Jack, because they're forgetting that one of them is white?

Jack: Why is that 13, chat?

Keith: Yeah, they're, I think they're just miscounting, because they forgot that the 6 is actually white.

Jack: I'm not counting the 6 tall.

Keith: Oh, you're not?

Ali: Oh.

Keith: Oh, did I misunderstand?

Ali: I thought that it said you could disregard the color if you wanted to.

Jack: No, he said, “If you ended up with the game's final die, and it was decided that it was the opposite color, you can ignore that now. Other than choosing the outcome for the final scene...”

Keith: Oh...

Jack: Oh, I'm, I'm so curious.

Ali: Oh.

Jack: Is he saying the dice counts? Or is he saying its color? I, I'm, the bit I'm interested in is, you can ignore that now, other than the outcome —

Keith: You can choose the — oh.

Jack: For the final scene.

Keith: So you get to, even though we used it as a white die, you can still count it as a black die. Oh, that makes me so sad.

Ali: But it's — you can. Not like, you should, you do.

Keith: Right, no, you should, you can.

Ali: What's the second sentence?

Jack: Uh, other than choosing the outcome for the final scene, this choice has no effect. You don't have to remember that a white die is actually black when rolling the aftermath.

Ali: That's so weird. That's worded so weirdly.

Keith: Ah... that's so sad. It makes me so sad that Dudley got the best outcome anyone's ever seen in Fiasco. Sorry, Jack.

Jack: No, it doesn't seem, it doesn't seem right. [pause] If you ended up with the game's final die, and it was decided that it was the opposite color, you can ignore that now. Other than choosing the outcome for the final scene, this choice — not this dice.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Jack: This choice has no effect. You don't have to remember that a white die is actually black.

Ali: So it is a black die.

Keith: Right. So I think it said, you have a 6 plus 5, plus 2, plus 2, minus 2.

Ali: Yeah. [pause]

Jack: Okay. I mean, I don't want to just fudge this. I mean, if that's what the rules say.

Ali: That feels like what the rules say.

Keith: That feels like what the rules say.

Ali: Because it's not like, you can ignore this, you can, you can choose which one you want. It says, “This — that choice does not affect your outcome.” Sort of.

Jack: So I have a black, so I have a black 13.

Ali: [laughing] You know, play the game, baby. Not here to have fun. This is survival rules.

Jack: This is — [sputters] Okay. 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 —

Ali: Your final scene was like, “Hey, can I have my job, please?”

Jack: [chuckling]

Ali: You're out there for yourself.

Jack: Uh... okay. God, Devin.

Ali: I know. [laughing]

Keith: I know.

Janine: Uh-huh...

Keith: Janine.

Janine: This is, this is, what this is, is, this is karma for, for Tauny Buck who, in a game where everyone got —

Ali: Oh, that's true.

Janine: Absolutely fucked over, got a gym and a career, and like a bunch of celebrate apprentices.

Ali: [cackling]

Keith: [laughing]

Janine: And everyone else is like floating, out to sea.

Ali: [snorts]

Janine: And she's like, “I'm rich and popular, and...”

Jack: Oh, that was so funny.

Ali: This is Fiasco.

Jack: Yeah, someone getting killed on the beach, someone else in a submarine —

Keith: God, the text for it is so rough, too. It's bizarre. It's so bad.

Jack: All right. Uh, okay. Yikes. Consult the aftermath table on page 58. Uh...

Keith: God, I was so close.

Jack: The Aftermath chart will give you your marching orders for the game's finale. Black results are generally physical, and white results are generally social, mental, or emotional. You really, really don't want those dice to cancel each other out. The further from 0 your final result, the happier the ending. At this point, the game ends as the final phase: the Aftermath. Okay. Do we want to look at, the table, uh, and, and describe what we've got.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: Yeah, sure. Do we want to go in order from highest to lowest?

Ali: We can go in turn order, and then we can just go me, Janine, you, and then —

Keith: We could go in turn order. I, I, I — turn order to me will feel like a lopsided, uh... but, that's also fun. I think it does, you know, end with the highest, which is fine.

Ali: Oh, sure. Uh, yeah. Let me just go. Uh, I got a white 9. Uh, which is, “Nothing to crow about. Not better, but not way worse either. Maybe the car is wrecked or your wife is leaving you, or there's a court date. But compared to sometime to other people you know,” dot dot dot.

Janine: Uh... I got... [laughs] 0. The worst thing in the universe. This probably doesn't include death, since death would be way better than whatever this is. Be creative, and don't settle for the first worst thing that comes to mind. There's something darker, more awful, more wretched in there somewhere.

Ali: I think, of — in each of the Fiasco games that we've played, someone has gotten that result.

Keith: Yeah.

Janine: We — yeah.

Ali: First it was Jack, then it was me, and now it's Janine.

Keith: Wow.

Jack: It's the toll the game takes, to play it.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: I mean, the, the odds are really high, right? That you roll dice to cancel each other out, that you end up with a mix of dice, right? Like it's like —

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: Almost as, it's, it's really, it's designed to give you a low score. Uh, 2, I actually think this is my biggest gripe with Fiasco, is that we tend to not go that dark. And then the endings are like, so dark. [chuckles]

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: Uh, and it's so easy to get like —

Janine: No, don't worry with it. I got it.

Keith: Okay.

Janine: I got it figured out.

Ali: Yeah. Yeah, we figured it out, and we will figure out tonight.

Janine: It's not worth stressing about right now. [chuckles] I'm pretty happy with what I have in mind.

Keith: Okay, great.

Ali: [giggling]

Keith: Uh, all right. Uh... sorry, Janine, did you actually read yours?

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: Okay.

Janine: I read the thing, I didn't do a move. I thought —

Keith: Right right right.

Janine: We were going around and just reading the thing, right?

Keith: Uh, I got —

Ali: Mmm.

Keith: A black 9. Uh, so, twins once again. Uh, black 9 said, uh, “Nothing to write home about. Back to where you started. Maybe sore and broke. Just like yesterday and tomorrow. You probably learned something, though, like how to do it right next time. Next time.”

Jack: Uh, black 13 plus. Awesome. Insanely great.

Ali: [snorts]

Janine: [laughs]

Jack: You will emerge not only unscathed, but if there's a girl involved, she's dropping her drawers.

Ali: Mmm.

Jack: You might even get rich off this caper, who knows. Time for a new ride.

Keith: Oh, that makes me so mad. [laughing] I, I don't think I've ever been as disappointed in a positive outcome for [laughing] one of my friends' characters.

Ali: Wow.

Keith: Ugh.

Jack: Oh my god.

Janine: All right, let's get moving and we can [laughs] get to these scenes, huh?

Ali: Yeah.

Jack: Okay, let me describe, uh... I'm going to read from the book here.

Janine: Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.

Jack: Play the aftermath as a montage, with one “This is” statement per die associated with your character. Here's the format. You take one of the dice that ended up in front of you and say, “This is my character doing something.” It should be active, and it should be about your guy, not somebody else. Then, everyone else takes a die and does the same thing. You're describing the outcome of the game — maybe tightly-focused, maybe meandering across many years. Your group will find its own preferred way of handling the montage. Keep it brisk, broad, colorful, and poignant. When you are out of dice, your story is over. When the dice are gone, the game is over. If you end the game with few dice — it can happen — not only will your poor guy have a horrible outcome, but you've got precious little say in the matter. Maybe you just disappear. That said, chances are, some characters' aftermaths will be more complicated than others, and tossing a die to a friend so they can have a satisfying ending isn't a crime. Similarly, if you have more dice than story, that's cool too.

Round 1 [3:51:30]

Ali: Uh, I guess we'll continue with turn order here. Uh... this is... Darren, a week after the, uh, Zoo 2 party. Uh, he's sitting in a conference room, uh, at the... Bluff City County Police Department, with, uh, Detective [laughing] a detective in the homicide department, I guess. A detective in the zoology department, I guess.

Jack: [laughing] Zoo crimes!

Ali: Uh, and a representative —

Keith: All, all those zoos — they've opened up a zoology cop department.

Ali: [cackling] And, uh, like a, uh,... a, like, Bluff City Zoo Incorporators like retainer, lawyer or whatever. And he's being questioned about his involvement with the party. He's been questioned about if he was ever responsible for, uh, Ralph's, uh, well-being. He's being questioned about his opinion and interactions with Dudley, et cetera, et cetera. And that's my scene.

Janine: Okay. Uh... this is... Devin, uh, at like, 7:30 in the morning. Uh, when she should normally be getting ready for school. Uh, but she isn't packing her backpack. She's, you know, getting dressed, but like, keeping the pajama pants on, and heading down to the kitchen table. Uh, where her mom, who is like, just about ready to set out for the day of work, has set up like a bunch of books for her. Uh, she has pulled Devin out of school, and is homeschooling her.

Ali: [whispering] Oh god.

Janine: Because she wants Devin to basically apprentice with her. But because of that, she has days where she gets to come into the zoo, and days where she has to stay at home and do textbook work. Uh, and sometimes her mom will work remotely and be there and like monitor her, and sometimes she's just gone, uh, and unfortunately, unlike Devin's teachers, will not accept a forged note [chuckles] if she fucks off to do other stuff.

Keith: Uh, this is... uh, Dax. Uh, at Zoo 2. Uh, he has, uh, actually gotten a promotion at work, uh, but is not excited about it. It didn't come with a pay raise. Uh, uh, I just have slightly more responsibility, mostly, uh, like... bureaucratic responsibility, less to do with the animals. But, I can see Zoo Free from my little office closet that I've got. It does have a window, and it faces the old, uh, the, the sort of bit of the parking lot that bridges, uh, the zoo to the BMX [chuckles] park, where we have the ad hoc Zoo Free. Still operating.

Jack: This is Dudley at the Big Wigs Casino, winning a large sum of money for a Burmese python named Ralph. At the Big Wigs Casino, Tia, Mark, and the other guy all think he is the bee's knees.

Frank: Snake money!

Dan: Snake money! Woo! Snake money!

Tia: What's up, snake money?

Dan: Snake money!

Jack: And Dudley's like —

Dudley: I'm snake money, bro. I make money for the snake.

Keith: [laughing]

Dudley: You hear the snake ate a man? Ha, I'm only kidding. Well, let's play blackjack.

Jack: All right.

Round 2 [3:56:40]

Ali: Uh, this is, uh, Darren going into work for the day. We see him driving his, uh, powder-blue coupe into a parking lot that is, uh, familiar but not recognizable. He walks into a locker room that is familiar, but not recognizable. He... puts on a little vest, and a pair of sunglasses, and his little employee badge that we've seen, and he, uh, leaves the employee area to go into a [laughing] uh... like, a, uh, like a lizard area in a zoo, that is familiar but not recognizable. And he, uh, says good morning to everybody. He gives them their food. He gets a, uh, a signal on the radio that's like, “Opening up, opening time!” And he turns off the lights, and he [laughing] he unflicks one switch, the lights turn off. He flicks another switch, a, uh, bunch of blacklights and a disco ball illuminate, and he is running the nightclub in Zoo 3.

Jack: Oh, ho-ho. Does he mind being up late?

Janine: No one's going to stay there.

Ali: Huh?

Jack: He mind being up late?

Ali: Oh, no, this is the morning. You gotta make the night in the day.

Jack: Oh, yeah —

Janine: It's fake night.

Ali: Yeah.

Jack: Oh my god.

Ali: He loves it — you know what? He, he had a lot of good ideas for them.

Keith: The night is a day.

Ali: Yeah. He had a, you know, a little promotion situation.

Janine: Uh... this is Devin, uh, in her senior year of high school. Uh, she's still being homeschooled, but her mother has graciously connected her with one of those like, homeschooling social groups, uh, because she's basically lost most of her friends.

Jack: Oh.

Janine: Uh, she has some that she hangs out with, like, online, but it's kind of just like, you know, you fall off. It's... it's friendships of convenience, difficult to maintain. So she's in sort of these social groups with the other homeschooled kids, who she just like, absolutely hates. Most of them are like, just kind of weird, uh, to her. They feel, like, it's like a lot of the, the, uh, people who, who are homeschooled because their parents believe certain things about certain things, and it's just a whole thing that Devin does not click with. Uh, and yet, there she is, going to the homeschool prom —

Jack: Ugh.

Janine: And standing in the corner, kind of refusing to interact with anybody. The theme of the homeschool prom is, uh... “classical Greece.” And Socratic dialogue.

Jack: Eugh.

Keith: [laughing]

Jack: I love Socratic dialogue.

Keith: I love my classic-Greece themed prom.

Janine: [laughs]

Jack: [laughs]

Keith: Uh... this is Dax, uh, sick of, you know, his extremely strong feelings on how to properly care for animals, uh, not being allowed to afford the nice, uh, food that, uh, he wants, not being able to plan the activities that he wants. Uh, you know, he wants the, the... he wants to foster an environment where the animals are interacting with people in the same way that the people are interacting with animals. Uh, or in similar ways, uh, and Zoo 2 is, uh, just a zoo, and a kind of boring one. But, after his day working at Zoo 2, gets to go out to Zoo Free, and it's a small zoo, it hasn't had the ability to expand in the way that he wanted. It hasn't devoured, you know, the enthusiasm of the crowds to become this big new thing.

But it does have the nice food, that, that he gets to pick out. And he does have, uh, if there's, there's a slightly expanded, uh, Biggest Little Animal Exhibit in the World. And it is the biggest little animal exhibit in the world, in a very narrow sense. It's not impressive. He really wanted something impressive, and it's not that impressive. It is nice, and it is really fun to have this, like, big lens that shows you the world from the size of a mouse, or whatever. Uh, but, it's still, it says, there's a sign that says, “Absolute proof of concept.”

Jack: [laughs]

Keith: And people like it, but, uh, you know, he doesn't have 50,000 dollars to buy, you know, a massive lens, just doesn't have the money. Uh, so it's small, but it is his.

Jack: During an interview in a late-night talk show, following, uh, his several casino wins for a snake, uh, Dudley is — Dudley, brackets, Snake Money, close brackets, Brick House, is interviewed, and describes the concept of the Zoo as a Body, uh, neglecting to mention any attribution for it. Several, uh, uh, uh, high-brow Bluff City papers take this up as a really interesting, rallying cry, and use it as a really interesting way to talk about zoos and animals in and around Bluff City.

Keith: You motherfucker.

Jack: This makes Dudley very happy.

Keith: You motherfucker. Jack!

Ali: [laughs]

Keith: I was going to have —

Jack: [laughs]

Keith: My next turn —

Ali: [gasps]

Keith: I was going to write an unsuccessful ebook —

Jack: Oh, no!

Keith: About Zoo is a Body!

Ali: Oh, no...

Jack: Oh, no, Keith, I can take that back.

Keith: No, no, no. No, no, no.

Jack: We can change that if you —

Keith: Dudley deserves it. I mean, the dice say Dudley deserves it.

Janine: I mean, couldn't he still do it?

Ali: Yeah.

Janine: Couldn't Dax still do it and be like, “It was my thing,” and put the book out, and everyone's just like, “You copied Dudley.” [chuckles]

Keith: Tell — write a tell-all.

Ali: Keith, I, I was going to evoke Dax and Zoo Free in my final die.

Keith: Oh, please do.

Ali: If you, if you don't mind that. Okay.

Keith: No, no, no. I was going to evoke Darren in my final die, so…

Round 3 [4:04:40]

Ali: Okay, perfect. This is beautiful. This is, I've — bros. I trust you ardently, bro. Uh... [laughs] I... we see Darren. Uh, it is another day at Zoo 3. Some time has passed. The, the camera shows that by the changing of the seasons. It's, it's raining when he, he moves through the parking lot, instead of it being sunny, or something. He, uh, is... finishing up his shift. He's walking through different, uh, he's walking like, towards the, the employee lounge. Uh, and he sees, uh, like a younger employee, two younger employees laughing with each other, and one of them, like, slams closed cage. Because he's like joshing around and not paying attention, and it starts the animals inside, which are like, these three little, like, uh, oh my god, what are those sugar gliders? You guys know what sugar gliders are?

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Keith: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack: They're lovely.

Janine: Yeah.

Ali: They're like little, uh, little rodents. They're adorable. Uh, and, uh... [laughing] they have big eyes and they're really cute. [laughing] Sorry, I just googled a picture. Uh, and, uh, he... kind of stops and he waits, and he waits for the, uh, the other employees to move on. Uh, and then he, uh, uh, moves towards the cage. And he, like, picks it up, as if testing the weight, uh, that he realizes that he could put it up pretty easily. And he... we see them walking into the employee's lounge. We see him walking out into the parking lot with the cage in his hand. We see him driving from Zoo 3 to... Zoo — Zoo 3-2: Zoo Free. The continuing Zoo 3. Uh, he parks his car at the Zoo Free parking lot. He pulls out, uh, the sugar gliders, and a, uh, like a folding chair, like a folding beach chair, and he [laughing] walks into Zoo Free with both of these items. He greats his friend, Daximillion. He sets down the cage, and, uh, releases the sugar gliders, who scamper around and play in the dirt a little bit, and then he sits down in his beach chair and grabs a bottle of beer from a cooler that I assume Dax would set up for after-hours...

Keith: Yep.

Ali: Zoo hanging.

Keith: Pull up the lens.

Ali: [chuckling]

Darren: Pull up a lens, bro.

Dax: It's time to get small.

Darren: What's going on, bro?

Jack: [chuckling]

Dax: Gotta be small. Gotta be small with these little guys.

Darren: I'm, I'm stealing mistreated animals from the worst zoo for you, so you can treat them well in your free zoo.

Dax: They already love it.

Darren: Yeah. That's the species code, man.

Dax: Species code.

Keith: Clink.

Ali: Clink.

Keith: And then after saying clink, we both actually...

Ali: [giggling]

Keith: [laughing]

Janine: Uh... this is Devin, uh, packing a suitcase. Uh... she, uh, is, she, you know, a lot of her, her, her friends from the homeschool social group are going off to college. Uh, she is going out of town for an internship at another zoo. Uh... she is not going to college. She is, it is, it is a program that she has been signed up for, and she's... she's packing a suitcase, and getting on a bus.

Keith: [sighs] Uh... sorry, is this, do I — I still have two more, right? I didn't forget to move one over? This is my third scene?

Ali: Yeah, I had one less than everybody else.

Janine: Yeah.

Keith: Okay, okay. Uh... I... this, this is Dax. Uh, writing a... tell-all book about the experiences with the Bluff Zoos. By the time I'm writing this, there's like 14 Zoos. Uh, and... it never — it's, by the way, Zoo 14: This One's on the Moon. And — oh, did we already do moon? Fuck!

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: Did we already do a moon one?

Jack: I don't think we did.

Keith: Okay.

Janine: No, we didn't.

Ali: I don't think we did.

Janine: You're, you're good —

Keith: Zoo 14: This One's on the Moon.

Ali: We just did Zoo Night, which is moon-based, but...

Keith: Right.

Janine: It's, it's fine. You got a moon zoo. Go for it. [chuckles]

Keith: Okay. Uh...

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: It doesn't mean anything. It's not important, except for that I thought it was funny. And, I'm writing about the, the history of the zoos. I think this is going to be a big hit. I go in-depth on all of the interpersonal stuff. I talk about letting animals out. I talk about getting my job back. I talk about the, uh, fish plan. Uh... and, I... I write it with the end, where Dudley Brick House is dead. Because I swear to god, I thought that he died. [chuckles] I swear to god, and I just didn't — I never saw him anywhere else. I never heard about the popularity of the Zoo is a — the Zoo is a Body. Uh, I've never heard anybody else say that but me. I write it in the book as, you know, saying that it's mine and Darren's. And, you know, it ends with like, “Yeah, and Dudley dies.” [chuckles] That sucks. And this book, you know, nothing really — doesn't get a publisher, I self-publish it and sell it online, and, uh... you know, I don't know who reads it, but it's not an important book in the world.

Jack: Dudley is lying in a, uh, uh, lounge chair, beside a pool. Inside the pool is a large, happy crocodile. Dudley is smoking a cigar and watching the crocodile. He is reading a paperback book. He has not had to think about animals for work, for longer than he can count. [pause]

Round 4 [4:12:40]

Ali: I'm out.

Janine: Uh... this is Devin. At about... maybe age 28. Uh... she has a much more severe haircut than before. She dresses very, uh, business casual. But like, dressy business casual. Uh... she's walking into a meeting room. Uh, and the meeting room has like a, has like a fun zebra stripe motif. Uh, and the door to the room, like the identifier for what meeting room it is, is called like, “The Savannah Room,” or whatever. She sets up a presentation, and people filter in. And, everyone, as they sit down [chuckling] she starts the presentation, and says —

Devin: Zoo 8: the Zoo of the Future. This zoo, we believe, is a phenomenal opportunity to imagine a different kind of zoo. A zoo that we can look forward to. We have many different scientific techniques, where we are looking into advanced breeding methods, and unique habitats, and animals that can learn to operate simple machinery. Uh, we believe that Zoo 8 will be the most popular zoo yet.

Jack: Well, it's, it's lovely to develop, uh, uh, equitable treatment of animals, and... [chuckles] Uh, non-destructive habits in the future of zoos. [pause]

Keith: Uh, this is Dax, just having a normal day. Nothing interesting happens. Uh... you know, go to work, get out maybe a bit early. Uh... and, head into the woods with Darren. We are going to catch, uh, an actual skunk, for —

Jack: [laughing]

Keith: Zoo Free. Uh...

Ali: [chuckling]

Jack: [laughs]

Keith: They want, specifically, a wild skunk. Because a descented skunk, uh, is against animal code, species code —

Jack: [chuckling] Animal code.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: It's against species code, to, uh, you know, a skunk's natural self. Stinks. And so, Zoo Free should have a skunk that stinks.

Janine: You should also get one of those raccoons that are afraid of water, that'll, that'll really perk things up.

Keith: Ooh, that's fun.

Jack: What?

Janine: [chuckling] I'm describing a raccoon with rabies.

Jack: Oh, sure, okay, I see.

Keith: Oh — [laughing]

Jack: Right. Uh... okay.

Ali: [yawns]

Jack: On his 63rd birthday... the Zoo Society of Bluff City gifts Dudley Brick House a rainbow, a rare rainbow beta fish, as a reward for his years of hard work and service to the Bluff City Zoo Community. All misdeeds involving the previous rainbow beta have been smoothed over. And this gift of a rainbow beta fish cements his reputation as one of Bluff City Zoo's greats. On his 84th birthday — sorry. Dudley Brick House's 84th birthday is on a Friday, which means that, waiting for him at the Lucky Clover Milk plant, is a free week's worth of milk, as it has been every week of his life since his mid-20s. Uh, when he arrives, he finds that the milk on offer this week is a beautiful blend, uh, from, uh, Irish cows. Uh, and, over his long life of milk enjoyment, it has been the kind that he recognizes as his very favorite.

Keith: Strongest bones in the business.

Jack: [laughing] Fastest ladder-climbing in the biz.

Keith: [laughs]

Jack: Uh, and I think we're all out of dice.

Keith: Yeah, that's it.

Jack: I think this is the Fiasco, Fiasco-ed.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Janine: Mm-hm.

Jack: Uh...

Keith: Don't homeschool your kids.

Janine: I mean, there are circumstances where it's okay, but — you have to look at it, you have to do it responsibly. It's a, it's — it's a job. Teaching is a job.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: I've heard, I've heard that it's a fate worse than death.

Jack: [laughs]

Janine: Well, I think in Devin's case, getting homeschooled by the mom who misspelled her name on the zoo badge...

Keith: [laughs] Yeah, I agree.

Janine: [chuckling] Is probably…

Closing [4:19:05]

Jack: God. Ugh. So sad. Uh, all right. Well, we have been Friends at the Table. You've been listening to Bully Pulpit's Fiasco, a game we love so much.

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: Uh, this has been a blast. It has been so much fun to go back to Fiasco Zoos. Is there anything that we want to talk about before we leave?

Keith: Uh, yeah. We should... all of us all, go check out friendsatthetable.cash. Look at that! See anything interesting on there?

Jack: Wait, let me see. Surely...

Janine: I'll go right now! Friendsatthetable.cash, you say?

Keith: Yeah, sounds like a fun website to visit, and to notice something on.

Jack: Friendsatthetable.cash.

Ali: Yeah.

Jack: Holy lord. Naruto's on this page!

Keith: [laughing] Yep! We replaced our Patreon with a picture of Naruto.

Ali: Wow...

Jack: Oh my god. So we have, we have, we have hit 30,000 dollars a month on the Friends at the Table Patreon, which you can access at friendsatthetable.cash.

Keith: Which, eagle-eared listeners will know was the, uh, threshold for the Hunter x Hunter show. Uh, obviously, you know, it basically just happened, was it yesterday, or the day before yesterday? Uh, so we're still working things out. But, you know, stay tuned for hearing more about the Hunter x Hunter show soon, basically.

Jack: I, I... I'm going to start watching it at some point.

Keith: Yeah. Yeah.

Jack: I'm, it — it is transforming in my brain from an, “I'm going to watch Hunter x Hunter someday,” to —

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: “Shit, I actually need to start watching Hunter x Hunter.”

Keith: Yeah. And it's good. I just actually, I have been rewatching it, uh, because, uh, Isaac had never seen it. We started rewatching it like a year and a half ago, and then took a long break, and had recently started back up again. Oh my god, I hit one of the best episodes of television that there is.

Ali: [laughs]

Keith: I just love it.

Ali: [giggling]

Keith: Oh my god. Uh...

Jack: I'm so excited. And, I — you know, we are all so grateful for folks' support and generosity. Making Friends at the Table is something we all love to do, and it is also something that is... tricky, sometimes. Uh... [laughing] we, we have computers that need repairing. We have mics that need sorting.

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: Uh, and it is your support —

Keith: We have a, a new show that needs editing. [laughs]

Jack: Yeah. [chuckles]

Ali: Mm-hm.

Janine: Mm-hm.

Jack: It is your support that enables us in, in, in ways big and small, to make the show in, in the way that we're able to. So, we are so grateful that we have, that we have gotten to this point.

Keith: Uh...

Jack: But now I think we're all going to go to sleep!

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: Uh, I'm going to be up for a few hours, but yeah, basically.

Ali: [giggling]

Janine: Yeah, same.

Jack: I'm going to play Tears of the Kingdom.

Keith: I'm also going to play Tears of the Kingdom.

Jack: Uh, well, we're going to go play Tears of the Kingdom now —

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: Uh, and Ali might go to sleep. [chuckles] Uh...

Ali: I just might.

Jack: Yeah. Uh...

Keith: That's your prerogative.

Jack: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Keith: That was great, I love Fiasco.

Ali: Well...

Keith: Thank you all for watching.

Jack: I love Fiasco.

Ali: Yeah.

Janine: Yeah.

Ali: Thanks, thanks for watching, thanks for, uh, contributing to the National Network of Abortion Funds for us to be able to do that.

Jack: Yeah.

Ali: Shoutouts, always, to NNAF, who probably still has some needs.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: [chuckling]

Jack: I, yeah, I, I would imagine.

Janine: Maybe.

Keith: I'm racking my brain to think of if they solved the abortion crisis.

Jack: Uh...

Janine: [sucks teeth]

Ali: Oy...

Keith: That — it's a no, big no on that one.

Ali: Uh...

Jack: Large no on that one.

Ali: Last time I heard.

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: But we will see you soon. With more Friends at the Table.

Ali: We will indeed. Uh, I guess other news —

Janine: Woah.

Ali: There's going to be — what, sorry.

Keith: Oh, you're elevated.

Janine: You said it so fast, it just like, scared me. [laughs]

Ali: Oh, sorry.

Keith: [laughs]

Jack: Put your foot on the pedal.

Ali: [giggles] Just while we're all hanging out, we're saying goodbye, we're talking about friendsatthetable.cash... for one dollar, on fried —

Jack: One human dollar.

Ali: There's going to be a new episode —

Janine: One dollar?

Keith: A single D.

Ali: Of the clapcast, just one dollar.

Janine: One dollar.

Ali: You're going to hear, uh, 20 to 25 minutes of goofs, of gags —

Keith: Good clapcast recently?

Ali: Of outtakes — uh, we have had some great — I think the last clapcast recently we did, we walked around...

Jack: Oh, that was great.

Ali: Coney Island, on...

Janine: Right...

Ali: [unintelligible] On Google Maps for no reason. Just because I was like, “Hey, I went to the DMV today,” and then we just, we spent 40 minutes doing that instead of, uh, making Friends at the Table, which is one of the difficulties of making Friends at the Table. But, if you [laughs] give us a dollar over on Patreon.com —

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: You can, you can hear, uh, us do that, and enjoy it.

Keith: Here's the truth about clapcasts.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: Every time that we're scheduled to record something, we spend the first 5 to 30 minutes talking about nonsense.

Janine: Mm-hm.

Keith: And every time, some responsible person says, “Hey, we should really record the thing because it's going to take 4 hours, and we should start so that we finish before 11.”

Ali: Uh-huh.

Keith: And every time, I'm like, “But I wanna keep talking about this for 15 more minutes.”

Janine: [chuckles]

Ali: Yeah.

Keith: Not out loud, I just do that in my head, and in my heart.

Ali: Right.

Jack: Yeah, and we've been banned from saying, “This is clapcast material,” I think wisely.

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: Which means that we're all in a sort of like, Beetlejuice type situation —

Janine: Yeah, you don't want to jinx it.

Jack: Where we don't want to say the name of why we're talking.

Ali: I just, I just don't want there to be an episode of the clapcast where we all say clapcast like 5 times.

Jack: No, because it, it makes so much sense.

Janine: Yeah, that's very...

Ali: Yeah, yeah.

Keith: I don't know, I don't know that —

Jack: In every clip. [chuckles]

Keith: I don't know that I've, I've heard about this band, but I also don't think that I...

Jack: [laughs]

Keith: Said clapcast that much. Maybe I'm wrong, and I'm not —

Ali: Okay.

Keith: And I'm not knowing myself here.

Ali: You can — I — yeah.

Keith: Is it true? Ali would know. Ali, do I say this is clapcast material a lot?

Janine: It's just one of those things where it's —

Ali: No.

Keith: No?

Janine: It's just one of those things where it's like, the funnier you try to be, the less funny you will be.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Jack: That's the rules.

Keith: Yeah.

Janine: You need, it just needs, you just gotta relax, you just gotta have fun with your friends and let it happen.

Keith: Oh, oh, yeah. I forget that the clapcasts exist.

Ali: [giggling]

Jack: I love listening to the clapcasts.

Ali: You just love to chat with us, and —

Jack: [laughs]

Keith: I just love to chat. I mean, I do —

Ali: And debate us on —

Keith: Love to chat with you all. But in general... I just love to chat.

Ali: Yeah.

Keith: I just won't shut up. I could talk for hours.

Ali: [laughing]

Keith: Just hours and hours and hours.

Jack: The good news is that, you're good at it and your career... this is your job.

Keith: It is, you know?

Janine: Mm-hm.

Ali: Mm-hm.

Keith: Uh... I, I just can't stop talking, so why should I?

Jack: [laughing]

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: It's true. But yeah, first Friday of every month.

Jack: Well...

Keith: Ugh.

Ali: Thank god it's first Friday.

Jack: Fish fry-day.

Ali: No, that's a different —

Janine: For fry...

Ali: That's a different podcast.

Keith: Oh, I could go for some fish. I actually still need to get my pizza from the Plate Up stream [laughing] where I'm — I've been grading pizza for 4 days here.

Janine: Oh, yeah —

Ali: [giggling]

Janine: I got pizza and it was so good.

Jack: I got pizza and it was so good.

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: I got pizza and it was so good.

Ali: [laughing]

Jack: Ali, did you witness that happen? We played a game where we were making pizza with some degree of granularity for like an hour, and we all became increasingly pizza-pilled.

Ali: Sure. I believe that.

Jack: Uh, to the point —

Keith: Yeah, Jack and Janine canceled dinner plans —

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: To get pizza instead.

Janine: Oh, my — the stream cut off? I don't know if I reconnected.

Ali: Oh, no...

Keith: That's okay. I've got this recorded still.

Jack: [laughs]

Keith: I've, I've, I've got this in.

Janine: It's very funny.

Keith: Yeah.

Ali: [giggling]

Jack: Oh, we just said goodbye. By, by default.

Keith: [laughing]

Ali: Bye!

Janine: I had switched to the see you next time.

Keith: Yeah.

Janine: And it —

Ali: [giggling]

Janine: I didn't do that on purpose, though.

Keith: People are not hearing this — they're like stuck in an ad, so they're just like, “What's good?” [laughing] Well...

Janine: All right, we should, we should go.

Keith: Yeah. Yeah.

Janine: For real.

Keith: Yeah.

Jack: Bye-bye, goodnight, everybody.

Ali: Bye!

Keith: Goodbye.

Jack: Bye.

Janine: Bye!

Keith: Goodbye, sorry for the fake-out.

Ali: [giggling]

Janine: I'm not, it was funny.

Keith: Okay.

Ali: [snorts]

Keith: You're welcome for the fake-out.