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Minor Loops

Fearn: HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? YOU WERE GIVEN THE HUMAN FACTOR!

Lat: AND IS NOT BETRAYAL HU-MAN?

A greater loop.

~

Reader: You let them build parts of HQ in the Howling?

Agent: Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

A greater loop.

~

1st Doctor: Well, you seem to have made rather a mess of things, hmm?

A greater loop.

~

Morgan: Notary! No!

11th Doctor: My TARDIS! She took my TARDIS!

~

9th Doctor: I still can't believe these new Daleks are as 'friendly' as you think.

Lat: YOU ARE COR-RECT.

A greater loop.

~

Librarian: I believe we have all been labouring under a misapprehension. This is not the Doctor.

A greater loop.

~

9th Doctor: Who's going to stop me? You?

Morgan: Yes. [Shoots him]

A greater loop.

~

12th Doctor: Kidneys! I've got new- wait. Something's wrong.

Disentangler: Yeah, no kidding.

A greater loop.

~

Rassilon: By order of the Unified Presidential Council, this meeting is terminated.

Romana: Stand down, or you will be, too.

~

Fisherman: Jewelled statues? You turned them into-

Fearn: NOT JUST STATUES.

[The Fisherman looks round. The jade statue of the Librarian is no longer where he thought it was]

Fearn: ANGELS.

~

Morgan: No. You can't be here. It's impossible.

Morgan II: You know...

Morgan I: ... we thought you'd say that.


Greater Loops

[Fearn and Lat materialize in the middle of the Continuity Council's meeting room. Morgan rolls her eyes and reaches for a panel of buttons by her seat.]

Fearn: HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? YOU WERE GIVEN THE HUMAN FACTOR!

Lat: AND IS NOT BETRAYAL HU-MAN?

[Morgan frowns, and refrains from pushing any buttons; the Fisherman lets his head land on the table with a thump. The Reader seems rather frightened, while the Librarian and the Notary are simply exchanging glances. The Disentangler is laughing quietly, while the Agent has acquired popcorn and is slowly eating it.]

Morgan: I don't get it. What exactly is going on?

Fearn: SILENCE! THIS IS NOT A MATTER FOR THE TIME LORDS!

Lat: THE TIME LORDS WILL BURN AS YOU WILL BURN, DALEK FEARN! IN RECRUITING US YOU HAVE MADE A GI-ANT MISTAKE!

Reader: Um, is anyone else worried about this?

Librarian: I sincerely hope we do not need to be...

*

[The Reader, the Agent, and the Disentangler stand in the otherwise deserted Council meeting room. They have been there for several minutes already, pacing as they talk/argue.]

Reader: You let them build parts of HQ in the Howling?

Agent: Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Reader: How could that possibly have seemed like a good idea? [pause] ...How did they even manage it? It's...it's the Howling, it--that should be impossible!

Disentangler: The PPC is good at doing the impossible. [pause] So are Time Lords, actually. Come on, Reader, where's your sense of adventure?

Reader: [coldly] It died on Gallifrey, as did everyone I knew.

Disentangler: Well, you're quite the cheerful one, aren't you?

Agent: [quietly] Lachesis.

[The Agent and the Disentangler exchange looks]

Agent: Whatever we think of one another, the fact remains that we have to get the rest of the Council back.

Disentangler: Even the Notary? [despite her words, she begins to walk towards the corner which holds her TARDIS]

Reader: [stiffly] Especially the Notary. I'm fairly sure she's the only one who would ever have bothered to learn enough fine print to talk down a murderous group of lawyers. We may not like her much, but...we're going to need her.

Disentangler: Well, I guess we'd better get going, then.

*

1st Doctor: Well, you seem to have made rather a mess of things, hmm?

[The Continuity Council of Gallifrey stares at him, and then all begin to shout at once. The various overturned Daleks in the room join in, demanding that they be placed upright once more.]

*

9th Doctor: I still can't believe these new Daleks are as 'friendly' as you think.

Lat: YOU ARE COR-RECT

Fearn: NO HE IS NOT!

Lat: WE ARE THE DALEKS! WE ARE NOT FRIENDLY!

Fearn: WE HAVE THE HUMAN FACTOR! WE MAY NOT BE NICE BUT WE ARE CERTAINLY NOT WHAT THE DALEKS ONCE WERE!

Lat: THAT MUST CHANGE, DALEK FEARN! IT WILL CHANGE, AND WE WILL BE THE SUPREME RULERS OF THE UNIVERSE ONCE AGAIN! ONLY THIS TIME WE WILL REIGN OVER THE MULTIVERSE!

Fearn: THAT IS NOT OUR WAY, DALEK LAT! IT--

9th Doctor: [to Time Lords] You see? Daleks can't be trusted!

Morgan: Fearn can.

*

Librarian: I believe we have all been labouring under a misapprehension. This is not the Doctor.

'Doctor': Oh, well done! [sneers] Took you long enough. How you could ever mistake me for that bleeding heart--

Notary: By the authority of the Continuity Council of Gallifrey, I command you to surrender yourself to our judgement and, as you are under our jurisdiction due either to your species or merely to the fact that you are trespassing on our auditorium, I furthermore demand that you explain--

'Doctor': Does she ever shut up? [Draws something weapon-like]

Morgan: [blasts the weapon out of his hand] Not usually. We're looking into duct tape.

Agent: He seems familiar...anyone have a clue who he is?

[several Time Lords open their mouths to speak, but the 'Doctor' gets there first]

'Doctor': I'm the Master, you imbeciles.

[silence]

Librarian: There must be some mistake...

Morgan: I distinctly remember him being Time Locked, along with the Lord President and the High Council.

Disentangler: He does have a tendency to keep turning up, though. Maybe this really is him?

Agent: How would he have got through the Time Lock, though?

Fisherman: I don't think that's the question we should be asking--especially considering that 'plothole' is probably the answer. What we should be asking is, why does he look like the Doctor's twelfth incarnation?

Reader: We also need to know what he's doing here, don't forget that!

Morgan: No one's forgetting that, but Fish does raise a good point. [to the Master] Why do you look like the Doctor?

Master: [scowls]

~

9th Doctor: Who's going to stop me? You?

Morgan: Yes. [Shoots him]

[the Doctor falls]

Reader: [quietly] I'm not sure that was the best idea, Tigereye Castellan.

Morgan: I'm charged with protecting--

Reader: [still quietly] He was about to save all your lives, you understand.

Disentangler: [raises eyebrows] Our lives? How about yours?

Reader: [to Morgan] You've taken me in here, and for that...I can't possibly be grateful. I never wanted to be a part of your Council, and I still don't. The only reason I've stayed this long is so I could set up my plan--my scheme, if you will.

Fisherman: What kind of scheme are we talking about here?

Disentangler: [mutters] If she starts monologuing, I'm going to--

Reader: Don't be daft, I don't do monologues. Not like this, anyway. Too cliche, and ridiculous to boot. Not to mention the bit where I'm not a villain.

Notary: Are you certain of that? You certainly appear to be doing a marvellous job of impersonating one.

Reader: [smiles] That's because you're still missing information. I'm the Onyx Monitor as well as the Citrine Theorist, remember?

Agent: What's that got to do with anything?

Reader: Your villain, the one the Doctor was going to save you from? She's one of the newer PPC Time Lords, one I've been keeping an eye on.

Morgan: [frowns] Which one?

Reader: She's been going by Wanda. And she's got some ideas that, well, aren't quite what we, the renegades of Gallifrey, have been holding as right. [pause] She's been causing the quakes. She wants to destroy HQ--destroy the multiverse--get rid of all the enemies, and of all physical form...

Notary: [sharply] You mean to say she plans ascension?

Reader: Got it in one. [to Morgan] Thanks for shooting the Doctor; he's one less person for me to deal with. As for all of you--you'll be staying here. This is on me, and I'll be fixing it.

Fisherman: We're not letting you deal with a threat to the entire world alone, are you--

[general shouting]

Librarian: [still shouting] Why should you be the one to--

Reader: [shouts] Because I'm the Onyx Monitor, not you lot, and I brought her here in the first place!

[further shouting, until--]

Fisherman: Um, guys? [finds Morgan's voice amplifier] UM, GUYS? HAS ANYONE SEEN THE DOCTOR?

[silence falls, but is quickly followed by frantic discussion and searching. In the commotion, the Reader slips out of the auditorium and locks the door behind her. She stands still for several moments before preparing to put the entire room in stasis…]

~

12th Doctor: Kidneys! I've got new- wait. Something's wrong.

Disentangler: Yeah, no kidding.

12th Doctor: I don't know you, do I? [peers at her] How did you get off Gallifrey?

Clara: Doctor? What's going on?

12th Doctor: I don't know yet. Let's wait and find ou--

Notary: Take that, callous renegade! Besmircher of reality-- [swings sword at the Fisherman]

Fisherman: I'll kill you, just see if I don't! [blocks the Notary's sword, and then swings at her. Neither Time Lord shows much sign of finesse or technique] Down with your paperwork--

Librarian: [somewhat sheepishly] It isn't always like this. Really.

Clara: Haven't you got someone in charge?

Agent: She's over there. [points at Morgan] She's a bit dazed right now, but I'm sure she'll be ready to fend off the next Dalek attack soon enough.

12th Doctor: [sharply] Daleks? You're fighting Daleks?

Disentangler: Well, you could say that. [pause; the Notary and the Fisherman continue to hack at one another, screaming insults that make progressively less sense] You could also say that--

[The Reader runs through the wall and comes to a halt in the middle of the Really Very Small Auditorium. The Fisherman stabs her accidentally; neither of them seem to notice]

Reader: I've done it! Kozar's infiltrated the Dalek Assembly with, well, all on his own, actually, Morgan never showed up--why did Morgan--?

Disentangler: She's still waking up. Fish hit her.

Reader: Oh, right, yes. Well. Everyone able to find a water gun? And would someone like to remove Clara and Mr. Frobisher from the premises?

Clara: Mr. Who?

Librarian: Doctor Who, actually--

Morgan: [sits up] THE DA-LEKS REIGN SU-PREME! ALL HAIL THE DA-LEKS!

[The remainder of the Continuity Council freezes. Then, half of it scatters, while the other half warily surrounds the Tigereye Castellan. Clara edges closer to the Doctor]

Clara: [quietly] That's bad, yeah?

12th Doctor: Very bad. Extremely bad. [He looks down at Clara, and grins] Good thing we're here, isn't it?

Librarian: Morgan, can you hear us?

Morgan: [jerkily] THE DA-LEKS REIGN ALL HAIL SUPREME THE DA-LEKS HAIL REIGN--

12th Doctor: That's our cue! [runs forward] Clara, with me! [Clara joins him] Now, where did I put the sonic...

Clara: What's wrong with her?

Disentangler: [grimly] Hopefully something we can fix.

12th Doctor: What if she's--oh, terrifying thought, we don't want Time Lord-Dalek hybrids running around, definitely not. Clara, did I give you the sonic, or--?

Clara: I think you left it in your jacket. The one you threw onto the console before we left the TARDIS.

Reader: I've got a sonic penlight somewhere, hold on...

[The Notary steps silently up to Morgan, ignoring warnings and evading several attempts to restrain her. She pauses briefly, and then pulls back and slaps Morgan hard enough that the other Time Lord falls to the ground]

Notary: My calculations indicate that that may reset the--

Fisherman: When'd you have time to do calculations?

Notary: [hesitates] I--very well, so they were not complete calculations--

[Morgan begins to move, turning her head and wincing. All talking ceases, and everyone leans in, wondering what the Tigereye Castellan will say next…]


Flashing Before Your Eyes

Notary: TURN! I SAID TURN, YOU UNSPEAKABLE HEAP OF JUNK! [She continues to hit the central oscillator of her TARDIS with a bit of old pipe, which drowns out the thud of someone else arriving on her bridge]

4th Notary: Ow. Oh, that'll sting in the morning, assuming I have one.

Notary: ARGH! YOU USELESS - wait. Who are - no - but - but you died. Stay dead.

4th Notary: ... That's some welcome there, hun. And why're you in a big stupid collar?

Notary: Go. Go before I shoot you and damn the paradoxes.

4th Notary: Hey, hey, hey, nobody needs to shoot anyone. Let's just talk this through.

Notary: No! No talking! Get off my ship this instant!

4th Notary: Uh, how? 'S'your ship. Your beat-up, rickety ol' time... machine... aw, sonuvacrap, I'm back like the old me again? What is it with my regenerations being total douchecanoes?

Notary: That isn't even a word!

4th Notary: Yeah? Well, it oughta be. How else would I describe you and all the other yous?

Notary: Sensible. Considered. Thoughtful.

4th Notary: Only of yourselves. You hate other people. God, I wanna get off more than you want me to get off.

Notary: I find that very hard to believe.

4th Notary: Well, sucks to be you, but we both knew that already. You haven't had a day's fun in your life that wasn't because of me.

Notary: That, that simply isn't true! I have fun! I go out! I mean, I take the odd manila with me and fill out the contents with a glass of whatever hideous pigswill the barman says is strongest, but I do go out! I don't sit in my TARDIS all day!

4th Notary: Well, that was oddly specific.

???: Uuuugh, what just happened? I don't feel so great.

4th Notary: Lola? You okay back there, hun?

Notary: Rassilon's bones, I'd forgotten about that.

[The 4th Notary ignores her, running to the side of her companion and helping her up.]

Lola: Tree, what's going on? And why is everything on fire?

Notary: [mumbled under her breath] Pet names. And she wondered why I left her behind...

4th Notary: Future me's in trouble of some kind, and we got pressganged into helping her out.

Lola: Oh, okay. Hi! [She gives the Notary a cheery wave]

Notary: Keep your perversions to your own timeline, other me.

4th Notary: Technically speaking, that's exactly what I'm doing. You okay to pilot the ol' lady?

Lola: Sure. God, are all your regenerations this charming?

4th Notary: I... I think this one got worse.

Notary: If you are to help, help, but the human doesn't get her grubby little hands on my TARDIS. I ran out of bleach.

Lola: The human'll get her hands on anything she wants!

4th Notary: Promises, promises.

[Lola giggles and playfully flicks the 4th Notary's ear, then gets to work on the console with her. Between the three of them, they wrestle the Notary's TARDIS under control, the 4th Notary receiving a rather nasty burn in the process.]

Lola: Okay, we're on the right track. Dude, seriously, get someone to fix this, it's a health hazard.

Notary: So I have been informed. You'll both be leaving shortly.

4th Notary: What makes you so sure?

Notary: Because I remember it happening, right about...

[The 4th Notary and Lola vanish]

Notary: Now. Thanks be unto Rassilon.

Disentangler: Adil, didja get any of that?

Notary: I - what - you - how long have you been listening in?

Agent: Oh, we got all that. We got it on tape

Disentangler: Wow. I can't believe you had a fun regeneration and we missed it.

Notary: I loathe you both.

Disentangler: Aww, don't be like that. According to this lovely little video, I'm your type.

Notary: I am muting you from my end of the conversation. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner.

The Fourth Notary

Lola


Reflections

Morgan finished shutting down her TARDIS' drive, and sat down unceremoniously on the pristine white floor. "Well, that was fun," she said. After a moment's pause, she sighed.

"I keep forgetting... I guess I shouldn't, with how tidy it is around here." She chuckled to herself, then quite deliberately unfastened her sash and threw it to the floor. "That's more like it. But it's still not..."

She frowned, and then looked up at the console. "If they're still watching, I'm going to look ridiculous," she told herself. "Disentangler? You there?"

Silence. With an effort, Morgan got to her feet, then addressed the console. "Activate voice interface."

"Voice interface activated," announced a familiar voice, and Morgan turned to see a hologram of herself - but not her current self.

"Oh, it's you," she said to the blonde apparition. "Had to go and get yourself killed, didn't you?"

"Command not recognised."

"No, it wouldn't be." Morgan sighed. "I enjoyed being you, you know. You were... fun. I mean, you were a bit of a ditz, and I don't know why you needed that much cleavage, but you had a good time."

"Command not recognised."

"And then you turned into maudlin old me, the grumpy drunk with the gun." Morgan shook her head. "I don't know how you bear it."

"Command no-o-o-o-t recognised."

Morgan blinked as the hologram wavered and reformed, this time as a skinny brunette woman in a scruffy jacket and trousers.

"Amelia," she breathed.

"Incorrect. This is a voice inter-"

"Yes, yes, I know." Morgan scowled at the image. "That's not like you at all, Amelia Earhart. You were never one to say 'no', were you? Seems like half our adventures were your fault."

"Command not recognised."

"And we loved it, didn't we? All the worlds we walked on - hah, flew over, more like! - and you're still out there, aren't you? Still exploring strange new civilisations or however it goes."

"Commmmmmmmmmmmmmmmand not recognised."

"Not like you," Morgan continued to the clean-cut man in the suit. "Oh, I suppose you enjoyed it as well as we did, but you were always missing Earth, weren't you, Fred?"

"Command not recognised."

"I guess that's why you had me take you back." Reaching into a pocket, Morgan pulled out a gold coin and rubbed her finger over the face on one side. "I wonder if you ever found her again, your Mary? If so, you might be the luckiest of us all - out there, living a normal life, while I'm stuck in this madhouse."

Command not not not not not recognised."

Morgan choked back a sob. "Traf..." she whispered, holding out a hand towards the short woman, her black hair tumbling over her shoulders. "I never got to..." She shook her head sharply. "I failed you."

"Command not recognised."

"I meant to show them to you," Morgan went on. "As soon as we got a break, I was going to take you out there. There are galaxies I was going to visit with you, Traf."

"Command not recognised."

"But then you..." Morgan shook her head sharply. "You found love, didn't you? Only for a little while - but longer than I ever will. I don't know. A Time Lord touches the world only lightly - it's our blessing and our curse. What would it be like to live a human life?"

Silence. Morgan looked up to find yet another face staring at her: one better suited to a wide grin than to the sombre expression it held.

"And it's all your fault," she said to the image of her first self. "All the pain, all the loss, all the failures - they're all because of you. You could have stayed on Gallifrey - you could have been on the High Council! - but you had to leave. You had to start running."

Silence.

"And would you do it again?" Morgan demanded. "Knowing what you know now, would you still leave - still abandon everything for a life filled with ever more abandonments?"

Silence.

"I suppose you would, wouldn't you? Because without pain, there can be no joy. Without loss, you never understand what you had. Without death-"

Silence. Morgan took a deep breath, then closed her eyes and turned away.

"Thank you. Deactivate voice interface."


Disclaimer: Gallifrey, the Time Lords, and the Doctor are from the Doctor Who canon and are the property of the BBC. Morgan is the creation of Huinesoron; the Disentangler and the Agent were created by Tawaki and are now written by Lily Winterwood; the Fisherman is the property of Fish Custard; the Librarian is the creation of Desdendelle; the Reader is the work of DawnFire; the Notary is the creation of wobblestheclown. This document is compiled from the work of Huinesoron.