***PLEASE READ FIRST***
I would like to include a sensitivity warning here as learning how to identify spiritual predators can bridge into uncomfortable or triggering topics and experiences. Please proceed within your best interest. I would like to suggest reviewing these materials with a trusted friend or loved one if predatory situations may be triggering for you.
The purpose of this document is to provide a basic guideline for individuals on how to best navigate spiritual spaces and spiritual communities.
Many people who are seeking community in spiritual spaces are on a healing path and seeking guidance, education or fellowship. Provided are tools and guidelines I’ve personally used in the past when I worked one-on-one with adults with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities and helped them integrate into their preferred communities. These tools and guidelines are modified for the specificity of the spiritual and occult communities and online spaces.
Protect your peace.
***Sensitive Material Begins***
Here is a list of various resources on how to identify spiritual predators. The priority is to remain as protected as possible in this massive community.
Please remember to not only vet the spirits you communicate with, but also your friends, mentors, teachers and the practitioners who service you. I have included links to general articles for you to extend your reading beyond this document.
These links also contain information on what to do if you are a victim of sexual abuse by a spiritual predator. Though if needed, these links will help you continue to self educate. If you have been a victim of abuse, I urge you to seek necessary support for your situation. You are not alone, and you deserve to be safe.
https://cosmicupdates.com/six-ways-to-spot-a-spiritual-predator/
https://sixthsunridaz.com/protecting-yourself-against-spiritual-predators/
What is a Spiritual Predator? This is a good question because Spiritual Predators can sometimes stick out like a sore thumb or blend in with your inner circle. Spiritual Predatory is complex. Let’s break it down to the best of my ability.
A Predator is not looking for a mutual relationship. We add in the element of spirituality. Generally speaking, Spiritual Practices connect a person to their personal beliefs about their internal world and the external worlds, overall wellness and seeking meaning. A predatory person in spiritual spaces becomes a Spiritual Predator when they begin using one's spiritual beliefs, practices, ethics or instilling a hierarchy to manipulate them.
Some great examples of these tactics are further detailed in the sixthsunridaz link/article listed above such as;
Fase Intimacy, Emotional Manipulation, Vague Responses, Intolerance to Dissent, Suppressing Others Ideas, Defensiveness, Self-Righteous Projections, Lack of Mutual Respect, Seeking Your Devotion, Isolation Tactics, Excessive Interest in your Personal Life, Words and Actions Don’t Align
Here is a list of more in-depth signs that may help you identify a spiritual predator when making friends, seeking services, mentorships, guidance etc. specifically within TikTok’s spiritual communities.
- Other practitioners, including your friends — should first receive your consent before doing any spiritual readings or workings on you, your energy, home/loved ones.
- A harmful practitioner may randomly tell you how a member of your spiritual team feels about you. Spiritual Predators fear monger and manipulate by telling you a ‘divinity is mad at you’ or you HAVE to do something for a divinity or else.
- A harmful practitioner maybe aware of your boundaries and push your them, fail or refuse to abide by them in your session.
- Instilling Their Own Hierarchy: Someone who either tells you they are more special to a divinity than you or others are, or tells you that you are more important to a divinity than others are.
- They are never wrong. If the person has an aggressive reaction when you ask them for sources on information they’re giving you, this person may not be a safe mentor/guide/friend/servicing practitioner. Especially if they accuse you of “questioning” their input. You are allowed to form your own opinions or gnosis.
- If a practitioner asks you to use your energy, body, money or elements of your practice in ways you are not comfortable with. You are allowed to say no and enforce your boundaries.
- Fear mongering over educating: You are allowed to question your mentors, servicing practitioners and friends. If someone is angry you’re questioning their morals, ethics or sources, then their foundations are likely not reliable.
- Drawing information or emotions out of you by asking or bringing up triggering, inappropriate or off guard questions/topics. If you sense this happening, you are allowed to enforce your boundaries. You do not have to share just because they are asking or demanding.
- There are spiritual predators who will prey on you financially. Please make sure you know who you are sending your money to and trusting your energy with. If you feel a practitioner is asking for an obscene exponential amount of money for services this is a reflective point. Check in on prices of other service providers to get a feel for appropriate pricings. All practitioners charge somewhat differently for xyz reasons, use discernment. If one practitioner charges $1k for a service most others offer for less than $100, this can be a red flag. ESPECIALLY if you are not receiving physical material. Once again, all practitioners price differently according to their service, business, practice etc. Some price lower because they’ve been practicing for a shorter amount of time or have less experience. Some price their services higher due to having more experience or the value of their personal time.
- UPG: This stands for Unverified Personal Gnosis. UPG is a subjective personal knowing. If someone is sharing a personal gnosis, they should NOT deliver it as fact. Personal gnosis should always be identified as UPG when stated.
- NO mentor, teacher, service provider or friend will push your boundaries, ask you inappropriate questions, make you feel like you need them, lead you to be reliant on them or request explicit exchanges or content from you.
- YOU are the key, the door and the lock to accessing elements of your spiritual practice, beliefs and/or connections to divinites. No mentor, friend, or servicing practitioner should tell you otherwise.
Modified Social Tool
You can use this tool as a reference when integrating into a new community, navigating new friendships, and unsure of what interactions are and are not appropriate for specific settings or relationships. (I claim no credit or rights to the original CIRCLES curriculum or tools.)
This next tool is based off of the CIRCLES Curriculum, a series focused on teaching social boundaries, self-protection skills and acceptable behaviors of talk, trust and touch. This tool was originally designed to be used with Youths and individuals with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities (IDD) or other any behavioral/conduct disorders that may interfere with socialization.
I have modified this tool to be utilized in spiritual spaces and personal awareness and protection from Spiritual Predators. This modified tool is based on my professional use of this tool with in person IDD clients, my personal experience navigating spiritual spaces and my perspective as a Practitioner who works to provide ethical services.
You can use this tool as a reference guide when you find yourself unsure of a social interaction in a spiritual space with a guide, mentor, fellow practitioner or service practitioners. This can help aid your personal discernment.
Diving into the Circles and how to Utilize this tool
Think of each circle as your personal or energetic bubble. Your bubble can shrink and expand like a force field pending on your range of comfortability, safety, relationship and environment.
Here are some examples of what using this chart looks like;
Purple: If you are at home and taking a nap you are in the purple bubble! You’re in your own company in your own space. Comfortable and safe.
Blue: You are reading up on your spiritual texts with your brother or sister in your backyard. You are with once again generally speaking, a safe person and in a safe place. You have a strong sense of familiarity, safety and relationship with the person and the place.
Green: You are at a friend's house exchanging readings or sharing stories. Friendships are energetically mutual relationships where boundaries are acknowledged, embraced and respected. As a guest you are respectful of their house rules, their personal boundaries, and uphold your own sense of safety or boundaries. As a host you are respectful of your guests boundaries, uphold your own boundaries and create a safe environment for the visit. If either parties begin to feel uncomfortable or boundaries are crossed we can return to purple. Enforce the boundary. If you feel the need to say goodbye I encourage you to do so.
Yellow: You’re trying out a new spirituality based book club in-person, or a new patreon class/course online. Maybe you were drawn to the event by the teacher’s content you found online or a fellow practitioner friend suggested it. It’s generally safe and encouraged to share your name in these spaces to get to know one another and introduce ones self to the group. It’s appropriate to share about your similar interests. You are pretty close to the red now so be mindful that there is a need to be socially aware in this new environment with new people.
Red: If you are at home on your phone scrolling through TikTok, socially you are in red with strangers. If you’re at a pop up event in downtown and there’s spiritual venders everywhere, other fun but intoxicated attendees please be mindful you are surrounded by strangers. Yes, strong long-term friendship can come from days and events like these, but not every fun person you meet is a safe person. It can take longer than a day to truly discern if a person is safe to/for you or not. Boundaries and social awareness is essential in the red zone with strangers in unpredictable environments.
Diving deeper on The Basics of The Circles
Purple = ME: Autonomy. You have the authority on your spiritual, energetic, physical, mental and emotional boundaries with others. You have a responsibility to respect the boundaries of others as well. Purple consists of information you keep personal. This personal purple circle represents your private discretions such as, your physical body, energetic body, phone number, address, full name, place of work, explicit photos/video or other explicit content, etc. These things are kept private for safety purposes.
Blue = Family: This circle may or may not resonate for everyone based on your family situations. Generally speaking Family can be a safe space to share your personal thoughts and sometimes private information per your better judgement or knowledge. When seeking help; a sibling, parent, aunt, uncle, grandparent or godparent may be insightful to offer you the guidance you seek or direct you to the resources you need. Once again, Blue does not necessarily mean safe. You still have authority over your autonomy and can keep what you’d like private.
Green = Friend Practitioners: Connecting with fellow practitioners can be a wonderful way to learn new things and share your experiences or Gnosis. It is important to recognize that you can have these friendships without sharing anything from the purple circle that you do not want to. For instance, your friends will never ask you for explicit content or manipulate you. Manipulation may not be detected right away. Some people may want to be closer friends than you’d like, you can state your boundaries to make them aware. At any point in time you are allowed to end communication or a friendship if you no longer feel safe or interested in the friendship. Fellow friend practitioners may offer spellwork or readings, at any point you can say no. If someone has read or cast for you in the past and you no longer feel comfortable or simply do not want the spell or casting, you have authority over your energy and are allowed to say no thank you.
Yellow = Acquaintance Practitioners: These are parasocial or “I’ve seen you around” connections. People who may or may not be safe fellow practitioners. This is a comfort zone where you lightly interact. Maybe you share a few general interests in beliefs or practice. There is no need to share or ask for private information with anyone in this zone.
Orange = Community Helpers ie. Readers, Casters, Mentors: In this zone you may meet teachers, mentors, spellcasters, tarot readers, energy ready, spiritual coaches, pastors, priests, priestesses etc. In special cases these community helpers may ask for private information and for financial compensation for equally energetic services. Some examples of these special circumstances are;
~ A Tarot Reader Willy likely ask for your name, email or for your personal input during a reading. This is appropriate.
~ A Practitioner who you bought a physical item from may ask for your email address or mailing address if they have to mail you your item. This is appropriate.
~ A Spellcaster may ask for a picture. You NEVER have to send any pictures you are uncomfortable sending. You especially will never need to send explicit photos or videos.
~ A teacher or mentor may offer your spiritual exercises or tasks to practice. A teacher should never ask you for anything in return outside of financial agreements. A teacher should never ask you for pictures/videos, favors, or ask you to do anything that goes against your boundaries, core beliefs, or private information you do not need or wish to share.
While there may sometimes be short caveats to these statements, these serve as a general base. Any caveats are to be strongly considered before sending or sharing private information, content and energy.
Red = Strangers: This is the biggest circle because most people fit in this category. If you are unsure of how to navigate someone in a spiritual space, it can be best to put them in this category until otherwise determined. There is no need to talk, interact, reach out to, or reply to strangers. You are advised to never share private information, content or energy with a stranger. Strangers may not always be dangerous but it can be best to operate as if they are not ‘safe’ until you determine otherwise. It can be important to remember that a person becomes and works to be a safe person in your life.
*** IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER*** These tools and guidelines are not officialized in anyway. These guidelines and tools are modified and specified based off of other tools and guidelines out there, my experience as a practitioner and as an individual in spiritual spaces.
Green Flags in Spiritual Spaces, Mentors and Service Practitioners
We’ve talked a lot about what to look out for, what to be aware and mindful of, and looked at some tools we can utilize as we discern appropriate boundaries. Next, I would like to talk about some signs of helpful Servicing Practitioners, Advisors, Teachers, and fellow friend Practitioners.
Please keep in mind that just because a person appear safe/helpful does not mean they are. It can be hard to gauge how genuine a person truly is. It may be helpful to remember these are general green flags. These guidelines are meant to be used in collaboration with your better judgement and perhaps the insight from trusted loved ones. Someone may display green flag after green flag then five months down the line they begin pushing your boundaries and are now displaying concerning behavior or patterns. You are allowed to walk away from anyone who makes you feel unsafe or uncomfortable.
These Green Flags are based off what to look for in general counselors, healthy friendships and parasocial relationships and modified for spiritual spaces. These traits may help you determine if a person is a good practitioner friend, teacher or servicing practitioner.
~ Consults with you to set your speed. A mentor or service practitioner should have your best interest in mind. This will reflect in how they speak and respond to you. A teacher recognizes we all learn at different speeds and learn in different ways. A mentor or coach can help you build a personalized plan based off your goals, areas you need assistance in, and can offer tools or resources to help further you progress.
~ They’re open to inquiries about their services, ethics/morals, and how their service will be provided.
~ Your practitioner reminds you of your personal power and personal autonomy by asking how you feel about the information they provide or your thoughts on something said in a reading or during a service. A helpful practitioner/teacher wants to make sure their efforts are meeting you well and are actually aiding you along your path.
~ They recommend services or resources outside of their own. This shows that their interest is pointing you in the right direction not only THEIR direction. Spiritual Predators will make you feel like you have to go to them or illude that you have nowhere else to go. There is always for the most part another way, another resource, and a second opinion out there.
~ Some readings or castings may require client After-Care, or instructions on how to tend to one's energy after an emotionally heightened service. For example a healing ritual or a reading on an intense situation, etc. A servicing practitioner who offers after-care instructions aligned with your interests can be a green flag that your practitioner truly cares about the work they perform and their clients best interests.
~ Their words, actions, mission statements, and services align with the value, code of ethics, or policies they go by. A green flag service practitioner or mentor will be transparent about the services they do and do not offer, how long it will take to get to your booking, and what you can expect during your booking.
~ This practitioner speaks highly and nicely of others. You can tell a lot about a person by the way they speak about others. It is true you cannot fully judge a person based off snippets you see but this is a note worthy minor green flag. A person who is always in drama, conflict with others, speaks bad of others, or is otherwise aggressive may not be able to help you find resolution, peace, or clarity.
~ They apologize when they are wrong and take accountability for the harm they inflicted. Being wrong doesn't make a person bad, it makes them a person. We are all learning. As we learn, we are faced with opportunities to grow and sometimes taking accountability is the door of accountability we need to walk through.
~ How do others who have received services such as readings, spells or mentorship from the Servicing Practitioner feel or speak about their services? This can help you determine whether you would like to book with a certain practitioner/teacher.
~ They acknowledge boundaries to create a safe space and encourage you to feel comfortable enough to enforce your boundaries if needed. Boundary enforcement isn’t a personal attack and a helpful teacher, friend or service practitioner is aware of this and will be happy to abide by your boundaries, and will be glad you felt safe enough to do so.