Sub-Topic (Your specific Topic)

Slavery vs Freedom - Sample Theme

The Impact of the Dred Scott Decision - Sample Sub-topic

The Dred Scott Decision was constitutional, but immorally displayed the American government's blantant disregard for people of color.

Difficulties associated in fighting the Vietnam war

Due to the demanding conditions of Vietnam and the unfamiliar fighting style, American soldiers faced uncountable challenges in fighting the Vietnam war

Revise - You are so close, but just be more specific about the word "uncountable"

Due to the demanding conditions of Vietnam and the unfamiliar fighting style, the Vietnam war was undoubtedly the most arduous conflict American soldiers had ever faced in American history.

The United States patriotic Act was enforced after the attack of September 11th, 2001. This act gives the government the power to investigate suspected terrorists.

The United States patriotic act was made after the attack of September 11, 2001 and could be considered unapproved by Americans because it gives government power to investigate suspected terrorists.

Terrorism in the U.S

Impact of the 9/11 attacks on the U.S and striking fear into American Citizens

United States citizens were fear stricken after the 9/11 attacks due to the magnitude of impact on daily lives

Revise - I like the first part on you using "fear stricken" but the second part on "due to the magnitude of impact on daily lives..." because it's not specific enough nor controversial enough.

United States citznes were fair stricken by the horifing act of 9/11 by Al Qaeda that changed thier lives forever.

Fight against terrorism

New fighting styles and technology used against Isis

The United States use of special ops and drone attacks have benefited the United States in the war against terror.

The United States use of special ops and drone attacks have benefited the United States in the war against terror.

Transition of US soldiers

The Women's Armed Services Integration Act of 1948 was one of the most canny decisions the US congress has made in US history for women.

The Women's Armed Services Integration Act of 1948 was one of the most canny decisions the US congress has made in US history for women.

Impact on Americans lives

Due to an event that could be classified as the most life threatening event, September 11th impacted American lives tremendously

Revise - You are close, but you should not start with "due to an event" because the reader does NOT know what event you are talking about. Additionally, I love "the most life threatening event for American families" because it's debatable, but I would add in the 21st Century so the reader understands the era you are talking about.

September 11th could be considered the most life threatening event of the 21st century for American families, September 11th has impacted American families tremendously in ways that these families loved ones were lost due to this attack

Security changes after the attack

Revise - No, this is not going to be controversial and it's a hypothetical that does not display a so-what factor that your readers would want to read about. Another words, if you were a journalist writing a story, it would not matter to most Americans because it's not controversial enough.

To prevent horrible tragedies similar to 9/11, airports across America have increased security boarding processes to ensure the travelers safety.

Revise - You make it sound BLAH...kick it up a notch with an action verb and a persuasive tone.

The Mafia used Prohibition as a profitable black market, by mass producing and destrebuting the outlawed alcohol through an bootlegging.

Impact on United States Soliders

The Afghanistan and Iraqi wars struck fear into the United States citizens and left them using less recourses than normal in order to support the troops.

Revise - You cannot talk about soldier resources AND U.S. Citizens because they are two different topics. Please be more specific and focus on one aspect of these wars with more precision.

The Afghanistan war negatively affected the American soliders through catastrophoic fighting that left both the soliders and their families permanantly scarred.

Due to the disasters like 9/11, security precautions have improved drastically in the U.S. While Americans continue to live in fear

Revise - You are SO CLOSE but need to adjust a few thing. Don't use the word "like" and instead of using the word "while" replace with even though. OK?

Due to the disasters akin to the 11th of September, security precautions have improved drastically in the U.S. even though Americans continue to live in fear

ISIS threats toward U.S. (Syrian refugees, San Bernadino)

Due to the increased verbal and physical threats from ISIS, the U.S. should have increased security precautions in 2016.

Population after ww1 in America

After the Great War many Europeans went to seek more opportunities in America because Europe did not have any

Revise - This is more factual and you need to be more debatable so the reader is interested. Save the facts for the paper, and stir up the debate and controversy in the thesis statement please.

After the Great War many Europeans went to seek more opportunities in America because Europe did not have opportunities

How JFK impacted the U.S the most as a president

JFK solved many tensions and helped the U.S gain more rights to protray that JFK had mnay intentions of making the United States stronger than before

Revise - The reader has no idea what you mean by "solved many tensions" and "gain more rights" because they are NOT specific enough. I am having trouble understanding the focus of your argument as well, because is your claim about protrayal/perception of JFK or is it about he solved US problems???

JFK solved many of the U.S promblems by trying his haredst to protray that no matter what happened JFK was willing to defend his country through anything

Women gaining independence and new roles as a shift in the era from society's standards previously on women

In the 1920's, women proved to society they were capable to do anything a man could do and a shift in the era occurred

Revise - This needs to be debatable and more specific. For example, "capable of anything" is vague and does not draw interest for the reader. Secondly, "shift in the era..." needs to be more specific and precise. What kind of shift took place?

The ground breaking achievements made in the 1920 not only paved the way for a better future, but inspired women to take on new roles in society.

The Civil Rights movement was inevitable and crucial due to the severity of racism throughout America's history

Revise - You are SO CLOSE, but you need more energy, better action verbs, and give it an more bite/edge of an attitude. It's definitely debatable and controversial, I just want to see more boldness in your language/attitude.

The inequity in America's laws and society before the Civil Roghts Movement demanded modification in order for society to function.

Machinery and Equipment Developed during the World Wars

Medicine created during WWI

Due to the nature of World Wars I and II, advances in both medicine and technology were a necessity to either side winning the war, and these advancements encourage the innovations that take place in today's society.

Revise - You are SO CLOSE, but you need to adjust "had to be made..." and being repetitive on the made aspect of this. Please be more specific and bold in your debate.

The weapons developed during the two World Wars determined not only the flow of each battle, but the nature of technological innovation itself.

Pearl Harbor Attacks - Causes and Effects

Shocked from what had happened in their own territory, American attitude on the war on the homefront changed drastically after the attacks on Pearl Harbor.

Revise - You need more perspective on time and do not continue a run-on sentence. Additionally, be more specific on what had happened" and what was the American attitude? Lastly, what exactly changed on the homefront?

The attacks on Pearl Harbor was the major spark in the US use of nuclear weapons.

Effects of nuclear proliferation during the Cold War ... Helped prevent war through mutually assured destruction and helped destroy USSR economy leading to unrest and eventually the break up of Soviet Union

The Nuclear arms race helped prevent war through mutually assured destruction and helped destroy USSR economy leading to unrest and the eventual break up of the Soviet Union

Revise - Cody you are playing this way too safe. In fact, you are giving a fact, NOT a controversy or debate. You need to have a claim/argument that is edgy and bold to make the reader raise their eye browse in disbelief because the reader either agrees with your controversial statement or shakes their head in disbelief. Either way, the reader feels an emotional cord is hit because you made them feel it.

The impact of the Jim Crow laws

The Jim Crow laws was an act of ignorance and intolerance of African Americans that lead to the continuous spread of white supremacy through the young generations.

Revise - You need to change "was an act" to "were Southern laws" and the second "of" to "toward African-Americans" during what time period? Also, please be more specific on who the "young generation" represents exactly.

The Jim Crow laws were Southern laws of ignorance and intolerance toward African Americans that lead to the continuous spread of white supremacy through the young adults of the 1950s to 1963.

How American Muslims are effected by acts of terrorism

Revise - You have such a good controverisal issue here, but you need to revise a few specifics such as "the horror acts" needs to be more specific and precise as well as what "it" is after your comma.

The terrorists acts done by brutal terrorists organizations around the world in the name of Islam has greatly intimidated uninvolved innocent Muslim American lives.

Daniel Alejandro Gómez Sánchez

The transition from WWI into the 1920’s perpetuated the misfortune that U.S. citizens had during the Great War without them being aware that such tragedy had not yet abandoned the nation.

Revise - You have such a good controversy here and I have one suggestion. When you say "without them being aware that such tragegy..." replace this with disillustionment or disenfrancisement to consolidate the idea of this tragegy. (Points will be taken off for being LATE!) Mr. Parkin

The transition from WWI into the 1920’s perpetuated the misfortune that U.S. citizens had during the Great War without them being aware that their “great boom was being” was being misinterpreted in myriad ways.

Speakeasies were one of the most popular and effective ways for Americans in the 1920's to have fun and consume illegal alcohol.

Speakeasies were the most popular and effective way for young Americans living in the 1920's to socialize during prohibition.

The superiar weapons used in world war 2 especially the atomic bomb, were the most effective weaponry ever used in american history to date.

The Boston Marathon Bombimg

The Boston marathon Bombimg has influenced today's fear for terrorism in the hearts of American citizens reminding them of 9/11 and America's desire to reconcile security

the atomic bomb was most effective weapon ever used in American history.

Revise - "battle" needs to be capitalized. Also, instead of "is one of the most brutal battles..." think about "was the most brutual battle the USA has been involved in Africa in the late 20th Century. But this means you would have to compare the Battle of Bogadishu to other battles fought between America and Africa. Otherwise, you need to revise your thesis to make a strong claim about why the Battle of Mogadishu needs to be remembered by all Americans as an essential failure or pivital game-changing moment in American war tactics.

The Battle of Mogadishu took lots of strategies and thinking before the USA left the war.

Need for guns (pro 2nd amendment)

Revise - "The freedom of the USA" needs to be much more specific because freedom can mean be perceived or expressed in numerous ideas. Additionally, you thesis is too simplistic, yet it does have a debatable presence....especially the tailend with "is dependent on the 2nd Amendment." I would highly suggest you give us a revised thesis that evokes an emotion and gives the reader a hint of more specifics into the 2nd Amendment and it's relationship to freedom.

International sports

sports during the Cold War

The United States fought a competitive Cold War against the Soviet Union on the sports fields as well as on a global political scale.

The United States and the USSR would do anything to get the edge on the sports field during the Cold War

The Boston marathon Bombimg has showcased yet again why a war on terrorism will generate a continuous cycle of terrorism both in and out of the United States.