Amherst Comedy Publications Data
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TitleStartDescriptionWeb PageMediaMedia CaptionMedia CreditTagsPlaceLocationSourceSource URL
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To the Freshmen Class of 1848-91/1/1848Bad advice for an incoming class of gullible freshmenStudent LifeFreshmen Quad42.3709104, -72.5170028The College Cucumber
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Thoughts on Poetry1/1/1848A mock literary analysis of children's poem "On a frog, sat a log" in academic voice, AcademiaJohnson Chapel42.37091, -72.51811The College Cucumber
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Scene In a Senior's Dormitory1/1/1848Fake news report of a conversation between two bedbugs lamenting the loss of their host, a graduating seniorStudent LifeSouth Building42.37055130963413, -72.51811668276787 The College Cucumber
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Martin: 'Time to Consider' Renewing Campus Assault-Weapons Ban
1/14/2013"In the wake of December’s mass-shooting at Newtown, Connecticut’s Sandy Hook Elementary School, Amherst College President Carolyn “Biddy” Martin said Friday that it is “time to consider” a renewal of the college’s lapsed prohibition on assault weapons and incendiary devices."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/01/14/martin-time-to-consider-renewing-campus-assault-weapons-ban/PoliticsPresident's House42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Martin: 'Time to Consider' Renewing Campus Assault-Weapons Ban
1/14/2013"In the wake of December’s mass-shooting at Newtown, Connecticut’s Sandy Hook Elementary School, Amherst College President Carolyn “Biddy” Martin said Friday that it is “time to consider” a renewal of the college’s lapsed prohibition on assault weapons and incendiary devices."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/01/14/martin-time-to-consider-renewing-campus-assault-weapons-ban/AdministrationSandy Hook Elementary School41.3467642, -73.23112309999999The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Motherfucker,' Shouts Every Student Heading to Mail Room1/20/2013" Oh, fuck this shit,' said every Amherst College student returning from winter vacation and attempting to access the college post office Sunday, upon discovering that the room housing all of their mail had been rendered wholly inaccessible for several days."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/01/20/motherfucker-shouts-every-returning-student-heading-to-mail-room/Student LifeKeefe Campus Center42.3714248, -72.51479089999998 The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Projection: Barack Obama Re-Elected1/21/2013"The Amherst Muck-Rake projects that Barack Obama has won re-election as president of the United States, defeating former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney to retain his office for four more years."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/01/21/projection-barack-obama-re-elected/PoliticsKeefe Campus Center42.3714248, -72.51479089999998 The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Sarat Overseeing $1.7M Office Renovation1/24/2013"Amherst College professor Austin Sarat announced the completion of the second stage of his $1.7 million office renovation Wednesday, lauding the progress of his effort to develop a complex sufficient for his intellectual and directorial endeavors within and around the Clark House political science building."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/01/24/sarat-overseeing-1-7m-office-renovation/AdministrationSarat's office42.373539, -72.515496The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Hampshire Sociology Course Explores Social Dynamis of Hampshire Socilogy Course1/25/2013News in Photoshttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/01/25/hampshire-sociology-course-explores-social-dynamics-of-hampshire-sociology-course/Student LifeHampshire College42.3255509, -72.5323578The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Daring Attempt at Burger Logistics Proves Too Much for Valentine Management1/25/2013News in Photoshttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/01/25/daring-attempt-at-burger-logistics-proves-too-much-for-valentine-management/Student LifeValentine Dining Hall42.37289948650441, -72.51615062355995The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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The Amherst Muck-Rake's Top 10 Albums of The Year1/25/2015"1. 1989, Taylor Swift. Guilty pleasure alert! It doesn’t remotely compare in musical depth to Uncle Dan’s Here I Am, which artfully combines a Kerouac-like individualism in his progressions with soul-searching lyrics. But… how can you not start singing along whenever “Style” comes on??"https://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/01/25/the-amherst-muck-rakes-top-10-albums-of-the-year/Student LifeWyomissing, Pennsylvania40.329537,-75.9652117The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Chapman Students Found to Be Holding Outrageous Orgies and Nobody Cares1/27/2013News in Photoshttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/01/27/chapman-house-students-found-to-be-holding-outrageous-orgies-and-nobody-cares/Student LifeChapman House42.36872185055487, -72.52044886350632The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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New Snowman Guidelines To Fight Racial Misrepresentation1/27/2015"In the wake of winter storm Juno, the Amherst Grounds Department has announced a new policy concerning the construction of all snowmen on campus."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/01/27/new-snowman-construction-guidelines-fight-racial-misrepresentation/AdministrationFreshmen Quad42.3709104, -72.5170028The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Lord Jeff Email Inspires Eight-Volume Epic: Infinite Jeff1/27/2016"Following the success of Tuesday’s four page statement on former mascot Jeffrey Amherst, Cullen Murphy ’87 has announced his plans for his new novel, Infinite Jeff. The Board of Trustees Chair will chronicle the role of higher education within all of human, primate and unicelluar history, as well as create a comprehensive list of all nouns and whether they are named after Lord Jeffrey Amherst."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2016/01/27/lord-jeff-email-inspires-eight-volume-epic-infinite-jeff/AdministrationFrost Library42.3718229, -72.5169593The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Lord Jeff Email Inspires Eight-Volume Epic: Infinite Jeff1/27/2016"Following the success of Tuesday’s four page statement on former mascot Jeffrey Amherst, Cullen Murphy ’87 has announced his plans for his new novel, Infinite Jeff. The Board of Trustees Chair will chronicle the role of higher education within all of human, primate and unicelluar history, as well as create a comprehensive list of all nouns and whether they are named after Lord Jeffrey Amherst."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2016/01/27/lord-jeff-email-inspires-eight-volume-epic-infinite-jeff/Pop CultureFrost Library42.3718229, -72.5169593The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Preciously Naive Freshmen Taking Course at Smith to Meet Girls1/28/2013News in Photoshttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/01/28/preciously-naive-freshmen-taking-course-at-smith-to-meet-girls-2/Student LifeSmith42.31809570000001, -72.6372341The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Valgate: Biddy Staffer Fired Over Serving Line closings1/29/2014"In the wake of the expanding scandal now known as “Valgate,” President Martin has defended her decision to fire staffer James “Jim” Larimore over his alleged involvement in a deliberate effort to create a traffic bottleneck in Val earlier today by closing all lines except the Lighter Side serving station."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/01/29/valgate-biddy-staffer-fired-over-serving-line-closings/AdministrationPresident's House42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Professor Can't Believe Students Are Writing This Shit Down1/29/2015"During the halfway point of his ninety minute lecture Joseph Rieke watched his students scribble in their notebooks while in complete and utter disbelief that they continued to write this shit down."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/01/29/professor-cant-believe-students-are-writing-this-shit-down/AcademiaPruyne Lecture Hall42.37216129999999, -72.51507090000001The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Reviews Are In: Amherst Campus Combines Beauty, Practicality, and Comfort"1/30/2013News in Photoshttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/01/30/reviews-are-in-amherst-campus-combines-beauty-practicality-and-comfort-2/Student LifeWebster Circle42.37236407024862, -72.51696199178696The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Meet Your Branches1/31/2016"Amherst has recently been abuzz with talk and questions about the college’s exciting new branch system. A careful listener on campus may overhear questions such as “Will the branch system really be the cure to the social divisions facing our student body? ” or “Will I be able to find a branch that fits my values? or “A branch? Like on a tree? What the fuck are you talking about?”"https://amherstmuckrake.com/2016/01/31/meet-your-branches/Student LifeMerrill Science Center42.369937796735194, -72.51522123813629The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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The College Orchestra1/4/1852Harsh critique of the Amherst College OrchestraStudent LifeArms Music Center42.37282834900603, -72.51761712133884The Scorpion
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Of Onzaba and Zimbolo, on the Plurality of origin of the human species1/4/1852Letters of correspondence between two Africans, racially charged.Student LifeThe Congo-0.228021, 15.82765900000004The Scorpion
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Portrait of President Marx Unveiled10/11/2013News in Photoshttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/10/11/portrait-of-president-marx-unveiled/AdministrationPresident's House42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Investment Club Reincorporates to Cayman Islands10/11/2014Amherst College’s investment club recently announced that it had completed the steps necessary to undergo a corporate inversion, reincorporating itself offshore to the Cayman Islands. Primary operations of the club will remain in the United States."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/10/11/investment-club-reincorporates-to-cayman-islands/Pop CultureCayman Islands19.5417212,-80.5667132The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Muck-Rake Investigates: Val Soap Dispenser: Fact, or Fiction?10/13/2015"With flu season around the corner, The Muck-Rake felt obligated to analyze Amherst’s outbreak prevention policies. Considering the coup currently dominating the Health Center, it seems that the first line of defense is now the lone soap dispenser located by the tray drop-off in Val."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/10/13/muck-rake-investigates-val-soap-dispenser-fact-or-fiction/Student LifeValentine Dining Hall42.37289948650441, -72.51615062355995The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Campus Rejoices at Freshman Senator's Prolific First Two Weeks10/16/2014"Richard Maroney ’18 has a cold."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/10/16/campus-rejoices-at-freshman-senators-prolific-first-two-weeks/Student LifeMerill Science Center42.369937796735194, -72.51522123813629 Science The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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[Opinion] This Fall Festival, Do Not Forget: One Day We Too, Shall Fall10/17/2015"The annual Fall Festival is here, and with it, cider doughnuts, hay rides, and reminders of the fleeting nature of our existence."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/10/17/opinion-this-fall-festival-do-not-forget-one-day-we-too-shall-fall/Student LifeVal Quad42.372268162443596, -72.5156718492508The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Fall Festival Cancelled Due to Winter10/18/2015“You couldn’t just let me have one more day, could you?!”, an infuriated Biddy Martin shouted from the frozen Valentine Quad. At press time, the sky had yet to respond.https://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/10/18/fall-festival-cancelled-due-to-winter/AdministrationPresident's Office42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Fall Festival Cancelled Due to Winter10/18/2015
“You couldn’t just let me have one more day, could you?!”, an infuriated Biddy Martin shouted from the frozen Valentine Quad. At press time, the sky had yet to respond.https://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/10/18/fall-festival-cancelled-due-to-winter/AdministrationVal Quad42.372268162443596, -72.5156718492508The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Socials Begin Final Walk of Shame10/19/2013"Early this morning, social dormitories Coolidge, Crossett, Pond, and Stone began a hasty exit after a prolonged awkward silence with the Administration. Although last night was “fun,” reported Biddy Martin, supine and smoking a cigarette, her former hook-ups have allegedly reached “the end of their useful lives.”"https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/10/19/socials-begin-final-walk-of-shame/Student LifeSocials42.3709104, -72.5170028The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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President Martin Cements Legacy With Third Consecutive Fall Festival10/19/2014"Biddy Martin successfully established herself among the pantheon of Amherst presidents past today, with her third consecutive fall festival. As the “defining issue” of Martin’s presidency, the three festivals represent more fall festivals than any previous Amherst president successfully threw, combined."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/10/19/president-martin-cements-legacy-with-third-consecutive-fall-festival/AdministrationPresident's House42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Hamsters Running Amherst's Network Reportedly Tire10/20/2013"Deep in the recesses of Converse Hall lies the epicenter of Amherst’s communication network: where 17 purebred hamsters power all Internet activity by rapidly running on a wheel."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/10/20/hamsters-running-amhersts-network-reportedly-tire/AdministrationConverse42.37318522492935, -72.52088338136673The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Sanderson to be New Micro Machine Man10/2002Psychology Professor agrees to become the spokesperson for Micro Machine due to speed of voice.Pop CultureHasbro42.0439631, -72.5210887The Amherst Hamster
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African American Graduation Rate Inflated by campus Pranksters Wearing Blackface10/2002AcademiaMemorial Hill42.36981770926942, -72.51694053411484The Amherst Hamster
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Student Stumbles Crossing Memorial Hill, "Beltway Sniper" Suspected10/2002Student blames a sniper for his inability to clime memorial hillStudent LifeMemorial Hill Pathway42.36981770926942, -72.51694053411484 PathwayThe Amherst Hamster
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Recent Graduate Escapes from Milliken with Life, Few Shreds of Dignity10/2002Lucky survivor of demolished dorm.Student LifeMilliken Dorm42.37090364081752, -72.51358777284622The Amherst Hamster
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Amherst Couple Legitimized Relationship by Dating in Northampton10/2002Northampton, the "Land of Legitimization"Student LifeNorthampton52.2385239,-0.902493The Amherst Hamster
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Amherst Officials Conduct Ritual Hiding of Minority Students in Preparation for Parents Weekend10/2002Minority Students "Alive and Well in Temporary Holding Cells"AdministrationOffice of Admissions42.369417, -72.518748The Amherst Hamster
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Campus Officials No Longer Accepting Resumes from Middle-Ages White Male Presidential Candidates10/2002"Let's be honest here. We've had our share of successful white males at the top of the Amherst ladder"AcademiaPresident's house42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Hamster
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Gerety Bans Fraternizing on Amherst Campus10/2002Another in a line of ineffective last-minute lawmaking.AdministrationPresident's House42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Hamster
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Campus Officials No Longer Accepting Resumes from Middle-Ages White Male Presidential Candidates10/2002"Let's be honest here. We've had our share of successful white males at the top of the Amherst ladder"AdministrationPresident's house42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Hamster
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Gerety Bans Fraternizing on Amherst Campus10/2002Another in a line of ineffective last-minute lawmaking.Student LifePresident's House42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Hamster
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Time Portal to 80s Discovered in Basement of Psi U10/2002Frat student's heroin use helps him shift into other dimensionPop CulturePsi U basement42.37090364081752, -72.51358777284622The Amherst Hamster
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Time Portal to 80s Discovered in Basement of Psi U10/2002Frat student's heroin use helps him shift into other dimensionPop CulturePsi U basement42.37090364081752, -72.51358777284622The Amherst Hamster
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Amherst Christians to Dress Up as Devils, Jews in Halloween Celebrations10/2002Amherst Christian Fellowship decides "If you can't beat 'em, join em"Student LifeReligious center42.37109328061162, -72.52097055315971The Amherst Hamster
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Amherst College Poster Boy Calls it Quits10/2002Sarat says "No mas" to GeretyAdministrationSarat's Office42.373539, -72.515496The Amherst Hamster
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Classroom Discussion Dominator Exposed as Windows 98 Cyborg Clone10/2002"Michael 2.0 Fooled Students and Faculty for 4 Semesters"AcademiaSeelye Mudd42.36973051693152, -72.516248524189The Amherst Hamster
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Classroom Discussion Dominator Exposed as Windows 98 Cyborg Clone10/2002"Michael 2.0 Fooled Students and Faculty for 4 Semesters"Pop CultureSeelye Mudd42.36973051693152, -72.516248524189The Amherst Hamster
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How I learned to Be Sexist at Smith College10/2002Letter to the EditorPoliticsSmith College42.31809570000001, -72.6372341The Amherst Hamster
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How I learned to Be Sexist at Smith College10/2002Letter to the EditorPoliticsSmith College42.31809570000001, -72.6372341The Amherst Hamster
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TD Eats Self10/2002A "Classic case of self-consumption"Student LifeTD House42.37090364081752, -72.51358777284622The Amherst Hamster
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Black Student Union Petitions Valentine Dining Hall to Reintroduce "All-White" Napkins10/2002"Cites Lack of Rallying Points for Black CommunityStudent LifeValentine Dining Hall42.37289948650441, -72.51615062355995The Amherst Hamster
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Conditioning Coach Sean Pringle to Lead "Military Exercises in Middle East"Amherst College coach to help teach trench warfare to soldiers.10/2002AdministrationWestpoint41.3914827, -73.9559721The Amherst Hamster
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Conditioning Coach Sean Pringle to Lead "Military Exercises in Middle East"10/2002Amherst College coach to help teach trench warfare to soldiers.AdministrationWestpoint41.3914827, -73.9559721The Amherst Hamster
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Hussein, Bush to Duel for World Supremacy10/2002White House agrees to duel in order to even odds between warring nationsPoliticsWhite House38.8976763, -77.03652979999998The Amherst Hamster
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CNN Officially Declares That American Lives 14 Times More Valuable Than Third-World Lives10/2002Economic Argument Shows That Third World Lives Exactly Equal to McDonald's Large FriesPop Culture-1.940278, 29.873887999999965The Amherst Hamster
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CNN Officially Declares That American Lives 14 Times More Valuable Than Third-World Lives10/2002Economic Argument Shows That Third World Lives Exactly Equal to McDonald's Large FriesPop Culture-1.940278, 29.873887999999965The Amherst Hamster
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Mold and Cockroaches Join Class of 200710/2003New species accepted for diversity initiatives.AdministrationAdmissions Office42.369417, -72.518748The Amherst Hamster
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Democrat Has Idea!10/2003Democrat has original thought, is promptly swept off floor by Republicans.PoliticsHouse of Congress38.8899389, -77.0090505The Amherst Hamster
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President Bush Caught Playing With Himself10/2003George Bush caught playing with a miniature Bush action figure.PoliticsOval office38.8976763, -77.03652979999998The Amherst Hamster
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Government Unveils WOrlds Largest Mechanical Pencil10/2003Announcement of a government pencil, actually a missle.PoliticsPentagon-77.0090505, -77.05375229999999The Amherst Hamster
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Big Black Cock Turns Out To Be Little White Lie
10/2003Student refuses to perpetuate stereotypesStudent LifeSocials42.3709104, -72.5170028The Amherst Hamster
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Stock Market Up By .00000003410/2003Stock Market begins to recover.PoliticsStock Market40.7068661, -74.01131889999999The Amherst Hamster
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Administration Announces New Terror Alert Level10/2003"Patriot Red" debuts in time for Oscars, Fashion Designers EcstaticPoliticsWhite House38.8976763, -77.03652979999998The Amherst Hamster
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Hampshire Adds Pictorial Evaluations10/21/2013Long famed for their unique educational philosophy, the faculty of Hampshire College have decided to add pictorial evaluations of student’s performance in courses, to go along with the already-used narrative evaluations.https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/10/21/hampshire-adds-pictorial-evaluations/AcademiaHampshire College42.3255509, -72.5323578The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Exasperated Biddy Martin Offers Blanket Apology10/22/2013"Following yet another controversy during her time as President of Amherst College, Caroline “Biddy” Martin offered her apologies fo nearly everything."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/10/22/exasperated-biddy-martin-offers-blanket-apology/AdministrationPresident's House42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Take It From an 18th Century British Military Officer: There's Nothing Offensive About Amherst College's Mascot10/22/2014"An opinion by Sir James Murray, a British commander during the French and Indian War and the first civil governor of the Province of Quebec."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/10/22/take-it-from-an-18th-century-british-military-officer-theres-nothing-offensive-about-amherst-colleges-mascot/AdministrationAmherst, MA42.3803676,-72.523143The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Biddy Martin Offers Blankey Apology10/23/2013"“Even this school’s mascot is a massive fuck-up,” wrote Martin. “‘To the Frenchman and the Indians he didn’t do a thing?’ Christ… give me a fucking break.”"https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/10/23/biddy-martin-offers-blanket-apology/AdministrationPresident's House42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Girlfriend's Period Enters Fourth Straight Week, Reports Freshman10/23/2014“Pretty sure that look of repulsion she gives me every time I touch her is just a result of that PMS-ing thing” explained Jason Trager ’18.https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/10/23/girlfriends-period-enters-fourth-straight-week-reports-freshman/Student LifeFreshmen Quad42.3709104, -72.5170028The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Office of Communications Intern in #LivingHell10/24/2014"Please help me. The hashtags…I can’t #stop. No. #NotAgain. #PleaseNoMore #NOOOOOOOO"https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/10/24/office-of-communications-intern-in-livinghell/AdministrationCommunications Building42.374504122834026, -72.52030938863754The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Student Smiles Nervously as Alum Recounts How Much Poon He Got at Smith10/24/2015"“Back in my day, the traffic on Friday night would be backed up all the way to the bridge, if you know what I mean,” said Ed Walsh ’56.

Cristina Dominguez ’16 does not in fact know what he means, but assumes it is something pretty heinous."
https://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/10/24/student-smiles-nevously-as-alum-recounts-how-much-poon-he-got-at-smith/Student LifeSmith College42.31809570000001, -72.6372341The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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ResLife: New West African Theme House "NOT A Quarantine"10/26/2014"Representatives today responded to backlash coming in the wake of the recent creation of a West African Theme House, to take up the entirety of Seligman Dormitory."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/10/26/reslife-new-west-african-theme-house-not-a-quarantine/PoliticsSeligman Dormitory42.37233690000001, -72.52300989999998The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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College Disbands Amherst Student10/28/2012Martin: 'It did not offer the compassion we need"https://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/10/28/college-disbands-amherst-student/AdministrationKeefe Campus Center42.3714248, -72.51479089999998 The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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SAAC to Host SAAC TAP10/28/2013Event in Stone 304 Touted as First Amherst Party "By Athlets, For Athletes"https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/10/28/saac-to-host-saac-tap/Student LifeStone42.37076294636534, -72.51309961080551The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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College Charters Amherst Muck-Rake10/29/2012As a replacement for the closed Student creates the Muck-Rake.https://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/10/29/college-charters-amherst-muckrake/AdministrationCOnverse42.37318522492935, -72.52088338136673The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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FreshmanPolitics Expert: Next Week 'Will be Crucial' to Election10/30/2012Freshmen student claims he fully understands political landscape.https://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/10/30/freshman-Politics-expert-next-three-weeks-will-be-crucial-to-election/PoliticsCharles Pratt42.37017777301432, -72.51613721251488The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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FreshmanPolitics Expert: Next Week 'Will be Crucial' to Election10/30/2012Freshmen student claims he fully understands political landscape.https://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/10/30/freshman-Politics-expert-next-three-weeks-will-be-crucial-to-election/PoliticsCharles Pratt42.37017777301432, -72.51613721251488The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Five Years Later: remembering the Val Grilled Chicken Tragedy10/30/2014"Today marks the fifth anniversary of the now infamous “Valentine Grilled Chicken Experiment.” The seemingly innocuous experiment, conducted by Amherst psychology major Wayne Meyers ’09, involved studying the effects on diners when grilled chicken was made unavailable."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/10/30/five-years-later-remembering-the-val-grilled-chicken-tragedy-2/Student LifeValentine42.37289948650441, -72.51615062355995The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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"Bloody Charri" Terrorizes Student Body10/31/2013"As she was being transported to the psych ward of Cooley-Dickinson Hospital following what ACEMS described as a “severe mental breakdown”, Stephanie Thompson ’17 was reported to have said, “I shouldn’t have said her name three times while looking in the mirror. I should have believed them.”"https://amherstmuckrake.com/2013/10/31/bloody-charri-terrorizes-student-body/AdministrationSouth42.37055130963413, -72.51811668276787The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Dining Services Adds Exciting New Options: Bacon Avocado Sandwiches, Poison10/6/2014"In it’s efforts to increase student satisfaction with Valentine, Dining Services has announced two new options that will be available this week: the acclaimed bacon avocado sandwich, and cyanide, the poison most able to snuff out a human life."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/10/06/dining-services-adds-exciting-new-options-bacon-avocado-sandwiches-poison/AdministrationKeefe Campus Center42.3714248, -72.51479089999998 The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Point/Counterpoint: Grab-n-Go's Bacon Avocado Sandiches10/6/2014"Point: Bacon Avocado Makes Life Worth Livinghttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/10/06/pointcounterpoint-grab-n-gos-bacon-avocado-sandwiches/AdministrationKeefe Campus Center42.3714248, -72.51479089999998 The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Frost Adds Books Visibl Only to the Pure of Heart10/7/2014"Students with pure, untainted hearts were ecstatic today when Frost Library unveiled its new collection of books that can only be seen through eyes unburdened by visions of sins long past."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/10/07/frost-adds-books-visible-only-to-the-pure-of-heart/AdministrationFrost42.3718229, -72.5169593The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Frost Post-Modernist Art Exhibit Leaves Patrons Confused11/1/2012News in Photoshttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/11/01/frost-post-modernist-art-exhibit-leaves-patrons-confused/Student LifeFrost42.3718229, -72.5169593The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Theater Students Discover Little-Performed Shakespeare Play That Way for a Reason11/1/2014“Listen, I wrote Cymbeline for drug money while I was strung out on coke in the 90s. That shit is NOT supposed to still be on stage. What about my hits? People love my good stuff. Even the early stuff was better. Titus Andronicus? I fucking loved that gory shit. Cymbeline is romcom, Jennifer Aniston crap I put together for a paycheck. Next question,” explained noted playwright William Shakespeare.https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/11/01/theater-students-discover-little-performed-shakespeare-play-that-way-for-a-reason/Pop CultureGlobe Theater51.508076, -0.09719399999994494The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Football Team Thrilled To Qualify For Massachusetts High School Playoff11/10/2014"Following a resounding 17-9 win against archrival Williams, the Amherst men’s football team solidified a spot in the 2014 MIAA Division 1 Football Playoff, where they will face the top high school programs in the state."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2014/11/10/football-team-thrilled-to-qualify-for-massachusetts-high-school-playoff/Student LifeField42.36945328382451, -72.52362070990785The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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On the Grounds: Amherst Coffee11/11/2012Spoof on New Yorker piece relating to college coffee shops.https://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/11/11/on-the-grounds-amherst-coffee/Pop CultureAmherst Coffee42.3756637, -72.52050680000002The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Suzanne Coffey Apoligizes for Sending Blackout Email11/12/2015News in photoshttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/11/13/suzanne-coffey-apologizes-for-sending-blackout-email-2/AdministrationConverse42.37318522492935, -72.52088338136673The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Live Blog: BLACKOUT Frost Sit-in11/12/2015Timeline of Frost Sit-Inhttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/11/12/live-blog-blackout-frost-sit-in/Student LifeFrost42.3718229, -72.5169593The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Frost Cafe's Sales Skyrocket11/12/2015“I don’t know what it was, but business was just great today!” said barista Tony Esposito. “Funny enough, people were only ordering one thing: coffee with no cream or sugar.”https://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/11/12/frost-cafes-sales-skyrocket/Student LifeFrost42.3718229, -72.5169593The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Biddy Martin and Suzanne Coffey Turn Simultaneous Keys to Access Stockpile of Apology E-Mails11/12/2015News in photoshttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/11/12/biddy-martin-and-suzanne-coffey-turn-simultaneous-keys-to-access-stockpile-of-apology-e-mails/AdministrationPresident's House42.371975682621645, -72.52019673585892The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Live Blog Day 2: Amherst Uprising11/13/2015Timeline of Frost Sit-In, Day 2https://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/11/13/live-blog-day-2-amherst-uprising/Student LifeFrost42.3718229, -72.5169593The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Hampshire Misses Re-Registration for Five College Consortium11/14/2012Hampshire College unable to register due to druge usehttps://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/11/14/hampshire-misses-re-registration-for-five-college-consortium-2/Student LifeHampshire College42.3255509, -72.5323578The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Hundreds of Fingers Broken, Palms Bruised after Snapping Epidemic Strikes Robert Frost Library11/14/2015"Positive energy turned deadly on Friday as hundreds of Amherst students and faculty members were rushed to Pioneer Valley’s hospitals and clinics to undergo treatment for a wave of excessive snapping that struck the Robert Frost Library."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2015/11/14/hundreds-of-fingers-broken-palms-bruised-after-snapping-epidemic-strikes-robert-frost-library/Student LifeFrost42.3718229, -72.5169593The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Mondaine Summer Programs11/15/1994Satirical advertisement for low income job internships with outrageous feesStudent LifeCCE42.3714248, -72.51479089999998 Citizen Poke
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FreshmanPolitics Expert: Last Tuesday 'Not a Good Night' for the GOP11/15/2012FreshmanPolitics expert Ryan Lehrman ’16 concluded that Election Night was “not a good night” for the Republican Party, treating his classmates to his informed perspective on the night’s events following the concession speech of Gov. Mitt Romney.https://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/11/15/freshman-Politics-expert-last-tuesday-not-a-good-night-for-the-gop/Student LifeCharles Pratt42.37017777301432, -72.51613721251488The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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FreshmanPolitics Expert: Last Tuesday 'Not a Good Night' for the GOP11/15/2012FreshmanPolitics expert Ryan Lehrman ’16 concluded that Election Night was “not a good night” for the Republican Party, treating his classmates to his informed perspective on the night’s events following the concession speech of Gov. Mitt Romney.https://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/11/15/freshman-Politics-expert-last-tuesday-not-a-good-night-for-the-gop/Student LifeCharles Pratt42.37017777301432, -72.51613721251488The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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Nation's Brightest Young Minds Battling Over Crossett Toilet Stall11/15/2012"Future Premier Intellectual Elite About to Boot All Over Sink if You Don’t
Fucking Open the Door"
https://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/11/15/nations-brightest-young-minds-battling-over-crossett-toilet-stall/Student LifeCrossett42.37140835485579, -72.5133316218853The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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AC After Dark T-Ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game11/15/2012"The t-ball stand purchased by Hannah Fatemi for Thursday’s AC After Dark “O’Connor Commons World Series” event secured its legacy as pitcher of the first perfect game in After Dark league history. "https://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/11/15/ac-after-dark-t-ball-stand-pitches-perfect-game/Student LifeKeefe Campus Center42.3714248, -72.51479089999998 The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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LimeRed Teahouse Now Accepting Non-Korean Customers11/15/2012"In a press release issued Tuesday night, LimeRed Teahouse announced it will no longer require passport or residency-card verification to enter the local establishment."https://amherstmuckrake.com/2012/11/15/limered-teahouse-now-accepting-non-korean-customers/Student LifeLimeRed Teahouse42.3759459, -72.51875189999998The Amherst Muck-Rake (revival)
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