Preaching at Grace - “Death to Life”

July 10, 2010

• We are so glad to be back here with you, it is a gift to be here
• I tell you what, we have learned so much through our last 9 months of ministry in South Africa.  Go someplace new and strange and you will learn a lot about yourself
• I never knew how much I loved predictability, control, planning in my life until I lived in South Africa
• You just saw a video of where we live, in a township called Ocean View.  Townships are the name for the poor areas where the coloured – mixed races (PC term) and blacks were moved to and where they mostly still exist.  These areas are very poor and ripe with drugs, abuse, and pain.  
• We made a choice to move into this area, even though people told us not to, that white's 'couldn't' live there, we purposefully made this place our home to live among these people and become a part of their lives.
• But as our world spun in many different directions, and as life became unpredictable and difficult living in such a hard place, I realized that I love predictability, control, and planning.  I said recently after we traveled home and had MANY problems with tickets, planes, puking babies, etc, that we would all fare so much better if Target just ruled the world.  It would be clean, neat, organized, inexpensive, predictable, and easy.  Right?
• I would have dreams about Target when in Africa.  And finally I thought, wow, how shallow am I to dream about stores?  Maybe I am, or maybe it is a longing for stability and control in a world where I find anything but.
• The world of Target is controlled, labeled, organized, predictable, and NICE.  This is the world a big part of my heart longs to be in.
• Life is full of choices, and we made a choice that even though our hearts rejoice in Target and sweet tea, we wanted to choose something we felt called to.
• These choices have changed our life drastically and because of them we have found ourselves in some difficult and dangerous situations.
• Take for example, our decision to purchase one car and one scooter for our transportation needs in South Africa.
• We made it a logical choice, as it is quick to get around on a scooter, good gas mileage, and cheap to buy compared to a car.  What an easy and logical decision! Except that a scooter is DANGEROUS.
• I mean you are moving through traffic and ALL AROUND YOU is air and ground and possible crash-ness.  But it was our choice and we were excited about it.
• Casey rode the scooter first and was immediately cautious about me learning, knowing that it was difficult and dangerous.  We had lessons together, and he was anxious throughout it but I was loving it.
• Man, the wind in my hair, the danger of being on the open road on my steed, wearing my cool helmet.  It was so awesome and I honestly felt like I was created to ride a scooter.  God CREATED my wild heart, and it could only be tamed and satisfied on a scooter.  Yeah....
• So finally lessons are done, and one day I need to go to Living Hope (AIDS non-profit) I volunteer for) for a mtg.  I ask Casey to take the scooter, and he reluctantly obliges.  Be safe, blah blah blah he says.  At this point he is being so overprotective, and I am an ADULT and can ride a scooter for God's sake.  So I say something smart like 'okay DAD.'  And roll my eyes as I get on this glorious piece of machinery.
• Now one reason (of MANY) that he was concerned was because I had broken the throttle a bit on the scooter the day before in a parking lot, as I crashed it into a wall trying to start it.  MINOR mistake, but I am ready.
• So I head off.  Beautiful blue day.  Wind in my hair.  Adventure in my heart. Immediately I know – I was made for this.  I am at home.  I am awesome.  It's only a few minutes down the road to Living Hope, and so seeing it ahead I begin to slow down to make turn.  It's morning so there are some cars, but I don't feel TOO rushed or anything and go to slowly make the right turn into Living Hope.
• We are on OTHER side of road, so right turn is across traffic, but all of a sudden because of my broken throttle, I find I can't slow down to turn, I am going too fast and I can't stop it.  So as I am going too fast in my turn, everything SLOWS DOWN dramatically as the horrific events unfold.
• I turn too fast onto gravel and the bike just skids out from under me, sideways onto the pavement and down I go to the ground with my legs, arms, and even helmeted head hitting the ground.
• SLOW MOTION fall (like the movies) and down I go.  BAM.
• Real time, and I am on the ground, immediately in pain, dazed and confused.  I look around.  Across the street are like 20 black people walking to and from the near-by township Masiphumalele.  They are just staring at me.  Not laughing, not helping, just looking.  A friend, the security guard, Harrison, comes running to me and helps me up.  I am stunned.  I am hurt.  I am humiliated.
• Minutes later my friends who are support group leaders from Ocean View pull up for a meeting.  “Wow Sarah, a scooter, how cool!” they say.  Umm, I actually just crashed and am hurt.  AHHH!!  They cry and break out in prayer, now bringing my tears, I know I am hurt, I am fragile.
• Casey finally arrives, and like a child going to her father, I just cry, “I am so sorry!”  He is gracious and cares for me.  But wow.  
• My life of chosen adventure being cool and dangerous proves to be painful, humiliating, and brings me to my knees.
• This is life
• No matter the choices you make in life, no matter how hard you try to 'Target-ize' your life, this life is not ours.  Ultimately we will be brought to our knees, we will be humbled, it will all seem out of control.  We live a life of riddles and of paradox, but it is not for nothing.  It is for everything, and God is ALWAYS in control of our worlds, we just have to surrender and trust him
• We are gong to look at a passage in 2 Corinthians that is very near to my heart after our experiences on the mission field, and I think it is an outline for how we must view our lives of unpredictability and humility.
• 2 Corinthians 4, starting in verse 7.  This is Paul speaking to the church at Corinth.  His second letter, as they are really beginning to experience the Christian life, the life of hardships and ups and downs, the life completely out of their control.  The life that is God's.

2 Corinthians 4

 7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

• Okay, what is Paul saying to us here?
• Paul is speaking to the church in Corinth, a group of people who have accepted their roles and place as Christians, but now are confused with the life they see before them.  It's a life that isn't always nice or easy, a life of pain and suffering.  And they are asking why
• Paul is telling them that as we accept this purpose, we often find hardships, and he goes on to say that these hardships are SO HARD, that it will feel like death or bring us to the brink of death itself as we face the realities of life.
• This is Paul speaking an anointed word, one that we don't often believe.  We think God only wants happy for us, but he wants GOOD for us, and sometimes that comes through pain and death.

• We are perishing, we are being crushed, we are facing difficulty, but it's THROUGH these earthly experiences that we see Jesus alive within us.  When nothing else is alive, Jesus can then show HE is alive and real in the sacrifice of our lives.
• This is the realizations of man and life.  If our lives were only full of treasures and privileges, that it would actually be to our downfall.  We might then be moved to pride.
• We are involved in human situations in which we have no control.  We are subject to the chances of human life.  We live in mortal bodies with the weaknesses and pains.
• Our souls are a precious treasure, and God is alive in us, which is the greatest treasure we could ever know
• But that treasure is contained in an earthly vessel, and the vessel is weak and worthless
• We learn that the real characteristic of man is not his power but his weakness.
• Life is surrounded by pain even though Christ has surrounded us with His glory, and this is so we will remember that glory is God's and our utter dependance must be upon our God.
• 1. We are hard pressed at every point, but not hemmed in.  There are many pressures on us, but we are never in so tight of a corner that there is no way out.  Even if it seems like we have been pressed in, we can always trust that in the Christian life there is some sort of spaciousness and we are never confined.   Even if our bodies are in a narrow circumstance, our Spirit can always find a spaciousness.  He is always there, always comforting us, always giving us some rest.
• 2. We are persecuted by men but never abandoned by God.  Many of the saints have found that during their hardest times on the earth that they find their sweetest times with God.  Joan of Arc said when she was abandoned by all friends, “It is better to be alone with God.  His friendship will not fail me, nor His counsel, nor His love.  In His strength, I will dare and dare and dare until I die.”  
• 3. We are at our wit's end but never at our hope's end.  Even when we don't know what on earth can be done, we can always have hope that something can be done.  We will always, at some point, arrive at our destination.  Granny Jacoba always say, “we must believe where we cannot yet see.”  
• 4. We are knocked down but not knocked out.  It's not that a Christian will never fall, but we can be sure that every time we fall we will rise again.  We may be beaten but we are never defeated.  

• This scripture has come alive to us as a family in a whole new way through our experiences.  Living a life on the mission field is not always the cool adventure it sounds it will be.  It is hard, strips your pride, brings you to your knees, shows you how weak and prideful and selfish you really are.
• But even through the hardships, God has really done a lot in our ministries.  Ubuntu is growing, thriving and communities are so excited.  A women's ministry has formed and women are opening up to others and God about abuse and pain to receive healing. Beautiful things are happening as God's kingdom is being advanced in Ocean View.
• And then came May 17th.
• Having support group meeting and Ubuntu community festival meeting, many people around, house buzzing.  Making tea for ladies with Danielle, many cups of boiling water just poured, as we were moving them, turned our backs for a second and Kieren grabbed a cup, pouring boiling hot water on her face, neck, and chest.
• Immediately our lives change forever.
• Burns on 22% of her body.  Women tear off her clothes, dunk her in cold water and tell us to rush to the hospital.  It wasn't until we were in car, and Kieren was shrieking and inconsolable that I realized her great pain.  People who have worked in a hospital will say being in a burn ward is the most difficult because of the intensity of the pain.  You have thousands of nerve endings, and they are all burned at once with a skin burn. The pain is excruciating, and it is a critical accident because of infection and inflammation.
• We rush her to hospital near, a state hospital, not nice, but the closest and we need immediate care.  They rush her in, start her on burn treatments to cool down skin.  She is screaming in so much pain.
• Then once she is covered they begin to start to take her heartbeat with monitor, but her little body is slowly going into shock.  They check heart rate and oxygen levels and you really need and have 100% when you are healthy.  She is quieting and when they get a reading the levels are in the 60's.
• The nurse's eyes widen big as she calls the doctors to rush in.  Kieren is going into shock, about to fall asleep, and they shake her to get oxygen to run through her body.
• Because the burn is on the neck, she is having inflammation on her breathing cords and that is critical and dangerous.
• She is eventually stabilized, but we need to be moved to Red Cross burn ward in an ambulance with life-saving capabilities because of her critical state.  We go to next hospital, she is checked, in pain, and made stable again.  In the early hours of the morning, we are admitted into our room in the red cross burn ward.
• We are surrounded by machines, tubes, medicines, our baby is totally bandaged up, eyes swollen shut, in excruciating pain.  All around us is burns, deformities, and pain.
• I came to the end of myself.  Kieren in critical condition, nothing I can do.  Even the doctors have to do what they can, but her body just has to heal day by day.
• Only God can move.  It wasn't until later that I even wondered why God would allow something so horrific to a perfect baby girl?  That is a question, but one who many saints have asked and never received an answer for.  We can only turn to faith and trust, knowing that God allows pain for His kingdom to be known.
• All we had was God.  And we knew right away that it was an attack from the enemy. The kingdom was on the move in Ocean View, God was being glorified, people were breaking off their chains and coming alive.  So God allowed the devil to attack us, so we would give up.  He almost took what was most precious to us.  We sat around that first day reflecting, seeing clearly the spiritual battle and choices.  But we knew our choice without a doubt.  No matter what the hardship or pain, God is greater and He is worthy of all our praise.  Even if he would take away the greatest gift we have been given in the world, Kieren, we will still praise and serve and worship Him because He is life and we are mortal.
• So we moved on moment by moment, many times like dead people barely surviving, but allowing God to be the light and life within us.
• And there were moments where I told God, I can't do this.  It's all just too much.  And in those moments of complete breakdown, suddenly the tide would shift and the air would change.  We would have a visit or, Kieren would settle, God would bring a word, or a song, to comfort us.  He NEVER left us alone, He was there every moment.
• In an act that seems cruel and is horrifying, we experienced the intimate love of our God in a way we have never known.  I have never been more loved by God than in those moments of darkness and heartbreak.
• We had an incredible community around us that literally helped us to eat and sleep and survive that first week.  We went home and Ocean View surrounded us to help us all heal and move forward day by day.  And all of you, even though so far away in distance, seemed to close in your love and comfort.  
• We were comforted, renewed, given just the strength we needed for every situation. Kieren healed more and more day by day.  Prayers were answered, no skin grafts, no major trauma.
• Kieren was emotionally very scarred and timid, and we began to pray for her joy to be restored, and it has been.  It will be. It IS DONE in Jesus.  We believed it even when we couldn't see it, and it eventually came to be.

• This is life.  Your life may be full of pain, divorce, estrangement, depression, physical pain, illness, or maybe you just can't really hear the voice of God in the sadness and destruction you see in the world around you.
• What causes you to lose heart and to come to a place where you feel struck down, persecuted, to feel like death is waiting just around the corner.

• Do you just wonder WHY?  Why does God do this?  
• Why does God allow us to be given over to death?  It's simple, but one of the most profound truths of our lives.  So that Jesus' life can be revealed in our mortal bodies
• When we look at our Christian life, we see our infirmity intermingled with God's glory, and we live a life of paradoxes.  We live a life of riddle and unpredictability but it is not for nothing.  No it is for everything.  It is in the controlled hands of our God and it is for His glory.
• Our life is not clean and neat and predictable but it is a riddle, filled with question and sometimes confusion, so that it only makes sense in God

• Paul was well aware that if a man or woman would share life with Christ then we must be ready to die with Christ
• Paul knew and accepted the inexorable law of the Christian life – 'No Cross, No Crown.'
• In everything he did, he had the memory of Jesus Christ and he knew he had the power that raised Christ from the dead.  Even if death took him from his troubles, he knew that he still had the power of God which raised Christ from the dead.  He relied on the power that was sufficient for life and greater than death.
• We must have our eyes fixed, not on the things that are seen, but on the things that are unseen.  The unseen things of this kingdom will last forever.
• We have a treasure within us, and that is the life and love of Jesus Christ, but it is being housed in a jar of clay that is fragile and frail.  But it's not an accident, it's on purpose so God will get all the glory.

• What are the paradoxes in your life?  Where are the difficult hardships where you feel you might be destroyed.  
• Maybe you don't see the riddles yet.  Maybe your life is Target-ized.  Neat, predictable, and happy.  That is fine, but know that if you REALLY want to see the Kingdom move in your life, you have to surrender to the paradoxes and the riddles of this life.  They will come and they have more purpose and power than you could ever create.
• Look closely in these places because it is THERE you will see the life and glory of Jesus Christ.
• In our death, He is made ALIVE and there is nothing greater.