Bart Hulsman

Geeking Out About... Twilight Contest Grand Prize Winner:

Bart Hulsman

1. What was the inspiration behind the Twilight series of novels?

A kick to the writer's head probably. That or sheer boredom out of not being able to do anything fun as a Mormon, you know, like having sex and alcohol.

2. Each “vampire” in Edward Cullen’s family has a special power. Name at least three.

The ability to act as a chandelier once sunlight hits them.

The ability to induce mass hysteria in (pre) teenage girls

The ability to annoy the rest of the world

The ability to make even a book/movie about vampires! and werewolves! as boring as "my first story"

3. What are the things about Bella Swan’s personality which make many people claim she’s a Mary Sue?

The list would be far, far, far shorter if I could list all the things that make her *not* like a Mary Sue

4. How many guys at Bella’s new high school asked her to the dance, and in what order did they do it?

That depends, do we count obviously gay fairy vampires as ''guys" or not?

5. The treaty between Jacob Black’s tribe and the Cullens can be breached in at least two ways. Name one.

All things can be breached with a battering ram. And some explosives. If those fail, a 'yo momma' insult does wonders to start a war.

6. What was James’ plan to lure Bella away from her protectors?

Hang something shiny in a tree, she'd think it was Edward and she'd blindly walk into any trap he laid out. One can say many thinks about Bella but "She's intelligent and has common sense" isn't one of them.

7. For how long does Bella mope during New Moon, and how does this passage of time get portrayed in the novel?

If the film follows the novel at that point the correct answer is "a fucking long time" and it is portrayed like in any other book: with loads of text on loads of pages saying stuff like "twas winter" or "months later"

8. What is Jacob’s secret, and how does it get revealed?

He, unlike all the other guys in the book, is straight and it is revealed when they find him having sex with a girl. Pre-marital sex even

9. Bella performs “thrill-seeking” acts in to try and become closer to Edward Cullen. Name at least one.

She went to a Harry Potter gathering yelling "Twilight is, like, so much better than, like Harry Potter"

10. Of all the lines from the novel to include in Twilight the movie, which is the one that fans have actually tattooed on their bodies and why? (Extra points if you send pictures; there may be multiple correct answers, but we’re thinking of one in particular.).

Yeah, there is no way I am even going to contemplate any of the possibilities... I'd like to keep my sanity intact.