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Biblical Femininity
Titus 2

INTRODUCTION:

There is something you may or may not know about Zach: though you would never know it by looking at him, he is quite the artistic type! Since childhood he has had an interest in all kinds of art whether it be painting or writing songs, playing instruments, things like that. As for my growing up years, I was the youngest of 3 girls, so I quickly became the boy my Dad never had :). I played basketball, softball, volleyball, ran track...that did not leave much time for the arts! So when we got married, those differences starting showing themselves in the way we were used to things looking and being around our house. You've heard the saying "opposites attract"--well, unfortunately, sometimes "opposites attack"!! :) We definitely had some adjusting to do.

 

Over the years, he has really helped stretch my thinking, and has also come to realize that there are some things that I just do not now nor ever will, understand.  Something happened just a few weeks ago that made this very clear... I had just gotten back from the store when I was ushered to the front door with eyes closed, to give my HONEST FIRST IMPRESSION of the oil painting Zach had just finished--still wet, hanging on the wall. Ok, I open my eyes, and I see, in the middle of a dark room with cherry furniture, a burgundy rug, pictures of generals on the wall...a large half pink/half orange painting with arrows pointing up in the middle. (I  found out later that it was an abstract mountain scene with the sunset shining on it).

 

Needless to say, I was surprised, and did NOT have the reaction he was hoping for! I think he was expecting a big WOW! A hug and kiss of pride and joy, some sign of wonder and awe...what he got was, "hmmm, that's neat, but the colors don't go in here".

 

Well, I learned a valuable lesson about my husband and artists in general that night...when they create something, for them it is more than just an object. They put part of themselves into their work. 

WHEN YOU CRITICIZE THE ART,
YOU ARE CRITICIZING THE ARTIST.

 

WHEN YOU REINVENT THE CREATION,

YOU INSULT ITS CREATOR.

 

 

We know that God is the Ultimate Creator. He is the only one who is truly above criticism, yet since the very beginning, God has been criticized! And by His own creation, at that!

 

 

Now, some 8,000 years later, we are STILL TEMPTED TO CRITICIZE GOD, REDEFINE THE ART, and ULTIMATELY TO CHALLENGE THE CREATOR. 

 

CULTURE – Our culture doesn’t make it any easier -

 

 

What we are going to do tonight is look at a Scripture passage that is a great snapshot of Biblical Femininity--not an exhaustive list, not inclusive of every woman in every possible season of life, but a general snapshot of femininity, of God's intention of what women are to look like as they live on earth.    

 

ILLUSTRATION: TOP OF THE BOX    You know when you decide to put a huge puzzle together, let's say 1000 pieces, and you dump all the pieces out...what is the first thing we do? Right, turn all the pieces over. Then what do we do? Find the corners and the edge pieces, right? Then when we have the easiest part done, we begin putting those hundreds of pieces into groups according to their colors or patterns, right? Well, we might do all right for a while, but eventually, we get stuck and the best thing we can do is pick up the top of the box and compare our work with the end result.

 
That is my prayer tonight--that we will all take a good look at the top of the box, the Word of God, and see how it compares with the way we are currently doing life. I pray that His words will jump off the page and into your daily life. Now, since each of us are individual works of art, the way we live out God's Word will not look just the same. But wouldn't it be amazing if the ladies of Capshaw Baptist Church could say that the way we are each doing womanhood is pleasing to the One who made us women?
 
 

Let's get started...

CONTEXT:  The book of Titus was written by Paul to his "son in the faith", Titus, to encourage him and help him establish some new churches. Paul had moved on, but had heard that those churches on the island of Crete needed some leadership and instruction. After telling Titus to appoint pastors to every local church, he addresses the various demographics of people in these churches. 

 

Paul begins with older men, mostly giving them instruction on their attitudes and the way they dealt with God's Word. They are to be the spiritual leaders by example of their families and their churches. He also instructs younger men, that they be known for good works, that they know what they believe and teach the Bible clearly, that they speak purely. And between these instructions to men, Paul addresses women.

 

TEXT: 

Titus 2 Verses 3 through 5 says:

 3Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, (A)not malicious gossips nor (B)enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,  4so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,  5to be sensible, pure, (C)workers at home, kind, being (D)subject to their own husbands, (E)so that the word of God will not be dishonored.

 

These are the pieces of the puzzle we are supposed to put together. Now some of these virtues he mentions, you probably already have well on their way to being put together, so to speak. Then there are others that we just really want to overlook, or leave out of the process. But we all know how frustrated we are when we complete a puzzle except for 1 missing piece! It just doesn't look right! Or imagine if your baby has been eating the pieces and you realize a whole section is missing! God, our Artist, has a purpose for each Word He has included in this list, so we are going to look at each one and just get a glimpse at the top of the box. 

 

 The first thing Paul mentions is that the women of God are to be…

1. Reverent in their behavior

 

  • Paul begins by instructing the Cretian women to be reverent in their behavior--probably because they were not currently known for that! Back in Chapter 1, one of their own people described Cretans as "always liars, evil beasts, lazy gluttons". So to go from that sort of past reputation to reverent in behavior was pretty radical!

 

Reverent is a word that comes from the Greek word "hiero-prepe", which means "priestlike", holy.
 

EXAMPLE: ANNA - The biblical figure Anna exemplifies reverence so well. She had been a widow for years, and at the age of 84, she was still at the temple "serving night and day with fastings and prayers". She lived so faithfully that the Holy Spirit enabled her to recognize Jesus as an infant when He was brought into the temple! The Bible says "she came up and began giving thanks to God, and continued to speak of Him to all those who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem". She boldly testified of the Messiah once she saw Him!

 

ILLUSTRATION: Barbara Montgomery – It is never weird to mention Jesus.

 

Jonathan Edwards once said of his wife," as she walked through her day it would appear that at any moment she might walk right into the Holy of holies."  Reverence personified.

 

After being instructed to be priestlike in our behavior, godly women are told not to be devil-like! 

 

2. Not a malicious gossip. 

See, the Bible says women are not to be malicious gossips, which is the translation of the word "diabolos, which means, "slanderer, or false accuser" and

  • This is used 34 times in the New Testament as a title of Satan, whom Jesus describes as the "father of lies"! 

 

Remember that "reverent" means "priestlike"? God wants us to be priestlike, not devil-like!

 

  • John MacArthur says about godly older women, "They refuse to listen to, much less propagate, slanderous or demeaning words about others. Just as men are more inclined to abuse others physically, women are more inclined to abuse others verbally, which can be even more destructive."  
     

The next thing Paul warns women against is that they

3. Not enslaved to much wine.

The word "douloo" means literally to be enslaved, "to be held and controlled against one's will,". 

 

In their day, wine was pretty much all they had to work with to become drunk. But today, women by the droves are becoming addicted to prescription drugs. And the main point Paul is making is that some women were not sober--they were allowing something in their bodies that clouded their judgment.

  

Obviously, if our lives are consumed with alcohol or any other addictive substance, we are in bondage to that substance and not free to serve God or others.  Please, get help to stop, not only for yourself and your family, but for the sake of the gospel! You are dishonoring the gospel of Jesus by being enslaved to that stuff. 

 

4. Teaching what is good

Isn't it neat that godly women are not just defined by what they don't do, but what they are actively engaged in!

 

Teaching what is good refers to "instruction in that which is noble, excellent, and lofty." Here, it includes teaching what is holy and godly.

 

  • Who are women to teach?
    • We know from other Scripture that women are not to teach or have authortiy over men in the church, but here women are clearly called to teach what is good.
    • We are to teach younger women, and our own and other children, that which is holy and godly!
       
      • John MacArthur says about older women, "they do have the God-given responsibility to formally and informally teach children, especially their own, and younger women in the church. When godly Christian women do not infuse the younger generation with the things of God, the church comes to dire straits."
         

ILLUSTRATION: In his book "Ten Secrets for a Successful Family", Adrian Rogers points out that in our country, it is and has been for a while, easier to get a marriage license than a driver's license! He says, "Think about it. All you have to do to get married is put your money down, apply for a license, pass a blood test, wait a few days, then have someone say a few words over you and pronounce you married. But when our young people go to get a driver's license, they get a thick manual they have to study and pass a test on. Most of them go through a driver's education course that involves hours of classroom study and more hours in a car observing other student drivers and driving themselves under the watchful eye of an instructor. Then they have to pass a driving test with an officer in the car. In other words, to get a driver's license young people have to know something. Imagine what would happen to today's marriages if engaged couples were given the "manual" on marriage, God's Word, when they applied for their license and then had to spend hours with "instructors", an older married couple who could help them get started right."

   

5. Love Their Husband –

 

Love - The love with which we are called to love our husbands here is from the word "philandros" which surprised me--a special word meaning "fond of man, i.e. affectionate as a wife. Taken from the root word "phileo" which means "brotherly love". 

 

This is a different love than "agape", the kind of love with which God loves us, a self-sacrificing love. See, God knows the general weakness of every person, and women tend to be stronger in a self-sacrificial love for their families than this other kind of love.

 

Author Douglas Wilson explains it like this: "Women are fully capable of loving a man and sacrificing for him, while believing the entire time that he is a true and unvarnished jerk. Women are good at this kind of love."
 

6. Love Their Children

John MacArthur says "Young mothers are to love their children in every way--practical, physical, social, moral, and spiritual--with a love that has no conditions and no limits."

 

Quality vrs. Quantity - This is obviously a love that takes time and action. People ask, which kind of time do children need, quality or quantity?

 

In his book "Point Man", author Steve Farrar explains that sure, quality time is 10 xs better, but it takes QUANTITY to get the QUALITY, because you can't plan quality time.
 

7. Sensible/Self-Controlled

 

Author Carolyn Mahaney says, "Self-control is what we need in order to say no to sinful desires, what we need to follow through on godly desires. Self-control will enable us to meet those goals, decline that chocolate cake, and resist the temptation to lash out at our child.

 

The closer our walk with God, the more evident the fruit of the Holy Spirit will be in us, part of which is self-control. See, it is different than self-sufficiency, because it takes the Holy Spirit's power in us to have self-control!

  

8. Pure

 

Women are to be morally pure, and especially in the marriage relationship, sexually pure and faithful to her own husband. You may think, "Well sure I'm pure--I'm not committing adultery."  But are you really?

Proverbs 4:23 says "Above all else, guard your heart, for out of it springs the issues of life".

 

Did you know it is a wife's responsibility to guard her heart against flirting, affectionate feelings toward other men, lustful thoughts about men other than their husband? This seems to be such a man's problem, but the truth is, no man committed adultery by himself! And even if they don't go that far, many Christian women dangerously open doors that don't lead to excited loving intimacy with their husbands, but instead resentment, discontentment, and temptation. I am referring to things like romance novels that can become as addictive as pornography, movies and TV shows that encourage married women to forsake their husbands, friendships with women who encourage using intimacy as a bargaining tool rather than a gift you happily and willingly give, and want yourself.

 

Ladies, the only legitimate source of romance in your life is your husband. Period. There is no room for romantic feelings toward anyone else in your life, real or imaginary. You may say, "But I don't have a husband." Then romance is not in the picture for you right now. Focus your energy elsewhere.

This is not easy to talk about, but ladies, we were created to walk in purity.

 

9. Workers at Home

 

This phrase tells us what to do, and where to do it! Our priority of work and passion is to be home!

 

From  the Proverbs 31 woman, we learn that God's ideal woman is busy about serving her home! She works hard to provide food and clothing for her family and household. *Let's memorize that part ladies--proof that it is biblical to SHOP! :). She "works with her hands in delight". She enjoys her work!

 

Notice that she also sells garments that she has made, buys and sells land and runs a vineyard while she "looks well to the ways of her household". In varying degrees at different stages in our lives, God may open doors for work outside the home. In her book "Beautiful in God's Eyes", Elizabeth George explains how many times "something personal" turns into "something professional". For the Proverbs woman, her experience and skill at sewing turned into a profit-making business of selling and trading clothing.  

 

For the younger women in Crete, we know that it was a temptation to neglect their work and responsibilities at home. I do not know what they were tempted to replace this work with--maybe constant ministry to others to the neglect of their own homes and families, maybe laziness and gossip, maybe pouring too much time and attention into profitable ventures outside their home, but either way, Paul reminds them to remember that their heart and most important work priority is home-- and we must always consider how the commitments we make for work or service outside the home will effect the quality of our work and care of family inside the home. So how do we know what is right for us? Pray and ask God, and ask our husbands! Every individual family must make these decisions, the Bible doesn't get too specific so neither will I.

 

  

10. Kind

 

 Women are to be kind. Noah Webster's 1828 Dictionary defines kindness as "that temper or disposition which delights in contributing to the happiness of others, which is exercised cheerfully in gratifying their wishes, supplying their wants or alleviating their distresses.
 

    We should desire to bring happiness into the lives of our husband, children, and others, and do them good. Among these other attributes, we should be known for our kindness. The Proverbs 31 woman had the law of kindness on her tongue. Now, where this gets challenging is when we get started being a keeper of our home while our husbands and children are there needing our attention and care. Sure, we can be busy, and sure, we can be kind. But to be busy AND kind, at the same time? That takes grace!!

 

11. Subject to own Husbands

 

    Let me start by reminding us that a wife's submission to her own husband was ordained by God. It is not a RESULT of the fall into sin! It in itself is not our curse, though both a wife's ability to submit and a husband's ability to lead well were corrupted by the fall. Wifely submission is not a conspiracy by men, it is not in the Bible because Peter and Paul were chauvinists!

    So what is the point of putting family units in an order of authority? Why did God set things up this way? Ephesians 5:22-23 gives us some great insight into the main reason why:  "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything." See, our submission to our husband teaches our children, the lost world, even the angels, how the church is to willing subject itself to the authority of Jesus Christ, our Head!

And don't think for a minute that our husbands get off any easier! This passage goes on to show how husbands are to be a picture of Christ in their sacrificial love, care, and protection of their wives, each loving his wife as HIMSELF. And in doing so, he teaches his children, the lost world, and even the angels how Christ laid down His life out of His love for His church.

 

See, marriage is NOT primarily for our own fulfillment! The glory of God is our primary purpose for obeying God's Word in our marriage!

 

Imagine, for a moment, what our children, the lost world, and the angels must think when they see us behaving just the opposite of what God says in our role as wife? What a confusing and disillusioning picture we are painting when we go against God's Word!

 

Some of you are undoubtedly thinking, "But wait a minute. You don't know MY husband.  If you knew MY circumstance, you would see that clearly God was not talking about my me when he told wives to be subject to their husbands!" 

 

Let's remember 2 things:

  • God's Word overrides our circumstances
  • Our submission has a POWERFUL affect on our husbands! I Peter 3:1, Peter tells wives, "be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, s they observe your chaste and respectful behavior."
  • Carolyn Mahaney points out that if a submissive wife's actions are powerful enough to lead an unbelieving husband to faith in Christ, than a submissive spirit definitely has power to change a believing husband's heart! So if your husband is a believer, but does not lead your family spiritually, or is walking in sinful behavior, or whatever the case may be, do not allow his actions to keep you from  trusting God enough to obey Him by still following your husband. Even if he doesn't communicate well, you have lived with him long enough to know how to live peacefully with him, many of his preferences for you. If no other direction is there, live in such a way with him that will make for a peaceful and kind home, and watch to see how God changes his heart over time. And work on keeping your heart tender toward him and not becoming bitter. Now, I am NOT saying submit to your husband if he asks you to sin, in those cases you have a higher authority, but in everything else, work to follow his leadership.

 

MOTIVATION/CLOSING

The final phrase in verse 5 says "That the word of God may not be dishonored."  

Finally, ladies, let's remember that our motivation for obeying God's Word in the area of our womanhood is NOT first for our own sake, or even our husband's or children's sakes, but for the sake of the Gospel! Our lives can adorn the Gospel, the good news that Jesus Christ is real, He's alive, He paid the price to set everyone free from sin who would trust in Him!

  

These are the commonalities God wants His daughters to have to shine forth the gospel of Jesus in our lives. In every one of us, there is a nagging temptation for art to reprimand the Artist. It is only by the power of Jesus Christ in our lives that we can walk in victory and joy as daughters of God!

 

Can everyone please bow your head. How about you? Maybe you have heard the Word of God tonight and think, "This is where I am headed. No, I haven't arrived, but God is working in me and changing me into the image of His Son in these areas." Or maybe tonight, there in your seat, you just need to create your own altar and talk to your Creator. Admit to Him the ways you have not been obeying Him, and repent and begin to follow Him in obedience in those areas tonight. Or there may be some of you
 
  • "I've been living life like I had no box to look at, I've just poured out all the pieces of my life's puzzle and have been trying to put it together the best I can, even though I have no idea what I'm going for.  I do not have a relationship with Jesus!
  • If so, let me invite you to turn to Him tonight, away from your sin, and trust Him as your Lord and Savior.

 

If you are ready to do that tonight, Pray this with me, and mean it with all of your heart: 

 

"Lord Jesus, I know that I am a sinner. I believe that You died to pay for my sins, that You were buried and rose from the grave on the third day. Please come into my life and be my Lord and Savior. I choose You, Lord Jesus. I choose to follow and obey You. In Your Name, Amen.

 

If any of you prayed that prayer with me tonight, please talk to the hostess at your table, or a friend that you came with, or myself before the night is over! We would LOVE to hear how God has worked and help you learn more about Him!