Tuesday
5:15 wake up to Danny crying. Pick him up, coo a little bit about how big he is now that he is a whole year old, let him fake-nurse until he falls back asleep
5:50 return to my own bedroom to find that 2 year old Raphael has commandeered my half of the bed and is snoring — actually snoring — in my spot. Shove him over a bit and fall back asleep while clinging to the edge of the mattress.
8:15 wake up in a sudden panic. How could I sleep this late??? Run downstairs to find that Dan has already left for work and lament the fact that I am a bad and neglectful wife. Most kids are up and playing downstairs, and Daniel is still sleeping.
8:30 make beds, get dressed in bathroom, then tidy up sink and shower before starting a load of laundry
8:45 dress little kids (Daniel is up now), set up child who needs “nebulizing” with his nebulizer, and begin to get breakfast. This involves making coffee and then pouring cereal and milk into bowls and toasting and buttering bagels until people stop eating them. It also involves explaining a dozen different times that we are out of juice and I will get some later but for now it’s milk or water and you are not going to die.
9:05 remind all kids who need reminding to get dressed and brush teeth. Everyone helps clear and wipe down the table.
9:15 move laundry from washer to dryer and start another load. Start school work. Set up little kids with crayons and coloring books, close the bathroom door, block the stairway and the entrance to the “under construction” mudroom so that Daniel can’t find too much trouble, and then have older kids get out their books. Kateri and Eamon do literature work, vocabulary, science reading, Greek mythology, and handwriting copywork. Ambrose and Juliette do math practice sheets, handwriting copywork, and reading aloud. Stephen does handwriting and two phonics and math workbook pages. I sit and listen to read-alouds, help when asked, and prevent the smallest children from killing themselves or each other.
10:25 pick up Daniel and nurse him. Smooth his baby hair and think how quiet the morning seems.
10:26 suddenly realize that today is Daniel’s one-year check up appointment. At 11:00 am. And the pediatrician’s office is 25 minutes away. And if I don’t make it to this one it will be impossible to re-schedule any time before January.
10:27 panic.
10:30 shout for little kids to get their shoes on, wipe banana from the baby’s face, and tell Kateri she will be in charge of two middle siblings while I am gone. Move next load of laundry to the dryer, put in a third, and instruct older girl to “keep it all moving.” Dial Dan’s work number and while searching madly through the closet for my left sneaker, tell him that for the next 90 minutes I will have my cell phone on but that he will be the on-call parent because he will be closer.
10:35 give up on the sneaker, put on nearest pair of shoes I can find both of (which happen to be high heeled loafers) buckle the baby, and bring him, the next three littlest kids, and Eamon along for the ride.
10:45 as I drive to the appointment, I try not to obsess about the fact that I am wearing white socks with black shoes and focus instead on the fact that I am actually wearing earrings — yes, earrings. Bask for just a moment in my own savvy style.
11:05 arrive at appointment a little late but they take me. Instruct everyone not to play with waiting room toys, and then leave Eamon with smaller kids while I take Daniel into exam room where I find out 1. He is healthy. 2. He is small. 3. He doesn’t like shots. 4. I totally love this ARNP who has four kids of her own and talks to me like I might actually know something about raising my own kids.
11:45 drive home, stopping at a gas station along the way to pick up juice and 4 cinnamon rolls for the gang in the van who believe they have earned some kind of reward for doing me the favor of coming along.
12:00 arrive home to 2 kids who say they tried to call me to tell on the third kid but my phone was out of range. Ask if they tried calling their father. Um, no way.
12:10 move another load of laundry into the dryer and then it’s lunchtime. Kids clear books from table and I reheat leftover pizza and cut it for some kids while older girl makes macaroni and cheese for others.
12:30 drink Diet Coke, read and answer emails while kids clean up lunch mess and take out reading books. Older kids who read aloud to smaller ones earn extra computer time. Works beautifully. My older sister is a genius.
1:15 Grandpa stops by with birthday presents for Daniel (and all the other kids). Have a mini-Christmas of games, puzzles, books, and toys.
2:00 Nurse Daniel to sleep and put him in his bed. Fold 3 loads of laundry while Stephen sits next to me with a book and “sounding out” practice. Some kids use computer and others are still reading.
2:20 Dan arrives home for a work break, gives out math assignments to a couple of slackers, and takes some kids out on errands while I put away 3 loads of laundry, clear off kitchen counters, put a giant batch of cream cheese brownies in the oven, make a taco plan for dinner, and then let some kids watch a DVD while I do some Faith & Family stuff. And then type a ridiculous post about my day so far.
3:25 Daniel wakes up and DVD is over. I encourage small kids to play Chutes and Ladders while I finish up work on computer.
3:55 Dan arrives home with kids (that he fed at McDonalds!) before he returns to work. We make plans for an at-home “watch a movie and no working date” as he heads out the door.
4:30 sweep random floors, pick up random toys, make random
phone calls, including health insurance people. I won't go into detail here, but you can rest assured that I am right and they are wrong. I make sense, and they don't. But they win. Because they make the rules.
5:15 make taco dinner while some kids use computer and other kids play/fight about Chutes and Ladders and other kids tell me how not-hungry they are because they just went to McDonalds
6:10 Dan is home and family has dinner. McDonalds kids don’t get brownies because they aren’t able to eat their dinners.
7:00 give out chores which include: clearing/wiping down table, loading dishwasher, sweeping stairs, sweeping living room and dining room, cleaning up bedrooms, and watching the baby.
7:20 nebulize the “nebulizable” child again while others put
on pajamas. No baths. It’s been raining all day and no one needs one. Catch the
1 year old and the 2 year old for pajama-ing and then let them run free while I lie on the living room
couch next to Dan sharing smart, sarcastic, un-publishable thoughts about my
day and the world around us. ESPN is on but I am pretty sure Dan is listening
to me. Yes, I am that interesting.
7:40 everyone brushes teeth. I force Gabrielle to retrieve
her toothbrush from the dishwasher (you remember that we sanitize toothbrushes,
right?) and bring it to me for help with brushing even though she says she
brushed her teeth perfectly on her own. Reflect briefly on what a fantastically attentive
mother this makes me. Make a mental note to include this flattering detail in my daily
log (to make up for the forgetting-the-appointment thing).
8:15 everyone says nighttime prayers together.
8:30 all kids go to bed. Older ones are allowed reading time in their beds
9:00 pick up random things throughout the house, finish tidying kitchen, and then sit in living room with Dan to watch a movie. I will not share the title because some readers might interpret that as a recommendation and though I laughed till I cried, I would never recommend this movie to anyone I didn’t know.
10:45 take a shower
11:10 Daniel is crying when I get out of shower. Fetch him
and nurse him while I read and answer email.
11:15 hear talking in upstairs bedroom. Head up to boys' room to discover Eamon reading The Great Brain aloud to his wide-awake younger brother who begs me not to make him stop and go to sleep. I make him stop and go to sleep.
11:20 read news online. Read through and print agenda for tomorrow morning's Faith & Family meeting.
12:10 start the dishwasher and then Dan and I go to bed.
There now. Was that all you hoped it would be?