From Light and Pulse
I. Childhood
Before I knew you, we were baptized in the light of
fireflies, our child-selves walked fearlessly at dusk.
Light fading, I hunted fireflies with a jar smelling faintly of pickles,
and I called it fairy magic.
Before you knew me, fireflies in a jar were possibility, a lantern for
illuminating dark caves, pirate’s treasures, little boy dreams.
Skinned knees, the smell of lake water sun-drying in our hair,
we rode our bikes through familiar streets, our shouts echoed through shaded cul-de-sacs, though we never met.
Before I knew you, I watched my soul flicker, captive, and drifted
to sleep to the sound of wings fluttering against glass.
I imagine us then, in our innocence, fluttering in an orbit of moonlight and shade,
separated by time and space,
firefly-flashing souls of fearlessness.
II. Adulthood
You wooed me with light, with wavelength, with pulse.
Even today you ask me to place forefinger against your wrist
to feel your pulse against my fingertip,
like fireflies who signal their mates against jet black night.
We do not have the luxury of that soft-green glow.
You flash, semaphore, and I know to reach my hand across space to you,
to caress your temples,
to offer you fruit, spices, sustenance
to feed you with my body.
You, too, see me in all of my fire, alternately passionate
or burning myself alive.
You bring the wisdom of cool shadow, the refuge of soft light.
We will have a firefly wedding, you and I.
One where we dance in darkness and
whisper of light, of wavelength, of pulse.
First of all, your poem inspires me to get off my arrsse and get writing for my Digital Storytelling piece.
A few thoughts...
What if you left the HERE'S WHERE I'M STUCK part. Wouldn't that be funny and telling of the transition from childhood to adult, from single to married?
Actually, though, that's not practical in the normal sense of the word.
Something closer to "presentable reality" would be...
after the "little boy dreams" of childhood, how about your musings that you were not one of those possibilities in his jar...or were you? About how the light in his jar could have been you without him realizing it...something that would take the awe of childhood and put you in its place. The problem may be connecting those thoughts with the wonderful stuff you have written in the Adulthood section.
That's all for now. Think about it...you fearsome firefly, you. AK
Okay, my writely friend, I have a few more thoughts.
The descriptive images of what you added fit well. One of your gifts is finding small details and holding them up to your "big picture" idea...if I may say so (souls flickering and that certain smell of hair...as well as the whole 'feed you with my body' thing...jump out at me as being powerful and emotive).
I didn't quite get why "Fireflies" is by itself after the 3rd stanza. It really breaks the long-line length and I couldn't make it add to the flow. Maybe it's a second section between Childhood and Adulthood and needs a Roman numeral (II) (because you're both 'being' fireflies at that point for each other). I'm just asking you to think about why it's there.
And I especially like "firefly-flashing souls of fearlessness" --- you have your alliteration and it summarizes that section well.
Re: the title...just between you and me, the word "wavelength" is too technical for a poem and should be banned from all titles. Though a fluid-sounding word, it reeks of science, which is anti-poem...in my mind...though I'm exaggerating a bit, of course. So maybe Light and Pulse or Our Lights, Our Pulse... or maybe From Light and Pulse --- I like that one the best. I'd say that from light and pulse, you've built a strong relationship....what do you think?
By the way, I'm writing my piece with pencil and paper. It's about Mid Life and I'm not sure I want to share it yet. Maybe I'll find another, less public, way to get your input. AK
I like your title best!