I Couldn't Believe It

Scene 1. Geoff’s bedroom. Late one night.

[Geoff and Kyra are sitting on his bed]

[Kyra gets up]

Kyra: Geoff, I can’t do this.

Geoff: What can’t you do, baby girl?

Kyra: I can’t be with you.

Geoff: Why?

Kyra: Because my heart still belongs to another man.

[Kyra exits]

Geoff: I can’t believe it. Can’t she realize how much Spike doesn’t love her?

Scene 2. Kyra’s bedroom.

[Kyra is sleeping]

[Phone rings]

Kyra: Hello?

Geoff: Hi, Kyra. How are you?

Kyra: Geoff?

Geoff: Yeah, it’s me, Geoff. How are you doing?

Kyra: I’m fine, Geoff, but I thought that I told you not to call me anymore. I told you that I can’t be with you. Don’t you get that?

Geoff: I do get that. That’s why I called?

Kyra: What do you mean?

Geoff: I mean that you should meet me outside right now. Don’t forget to put on a jacket. It’s kind of cold outside. I don’t want you to get cold.

Kyra: Okay. I’ll be out there in a few minutes.

Scene 3. Outside of Kyra’s house

[Geoff is leaning on his Toyota]

[Gave her a hug]

Geoff: Are you ready to go?

Kyra: I think I am. What is this about?

Geoff: You’ll find out, don’t worry.

[Opened the passenger car door, went around and got in on driver side] [Car starts]

Geoff: Who does your heart belong to, girl?

Kyra: It belongs to Spike. Who else?

Geoff: Spike you say? Okay. Have you done it with him?

Kyra: Done what?

Geoff: You know.

Kyra: No, I don’t. Done what?

Geoff: Done that.

Kyra: Oh! That! No, of course not. He said he wasn’t ready, so I agreed to let our relationship go slowly. I mean, he barely want to make out with me.

Geoff: Do you know if he’s a virgin?

Kyra: No, but I’m pretty sure he is.

Geoff: Do you want to stick to that answer.

Kyra: Yes, of course. Why?

Geoff: No reason. So, how long have you been together?

Kyra: We’ve been together for about, um, 6 months. Why?

Geoff: Because I want to show you something.

[They drive off.]

Kyra: Where are we going?

Geoff: We’re going to Spike’s house. Did he invite you over tonight?

Kyra: No, because he said he had something else planned.

Geoff: Okay. I’ll show you what “something else planned” is.

Scene 4. Spike’s house.

[Still in car]

Kyra: Are we gonna knock?

Geoff: Yeah, but please let me do it. Just stay behind me, okay?

Kyra: Okay. I’ll do that for you. But what are you gonna prove to me?

Geoff: I’ll prove to you where Spike’s heart really lies.

Kyra: It lies with me. Where else would it lie?

Geoff: Has he ever said that he loves you?

Kyra: Yes, of course he has. All the time. What is this about.

Geoff: You’ll see. Now, does he ever look in you eyes when he says it?

Kyra: Sometimes, why? What’s going on?

Geoff: You’ll see. I’ll show you why right now.

[They get out of car and walk up to the door.][He knocks on the door.]

[Footsteps are heard in the background.][Spike opens the door.]

Spike: {from inside} I’m coming! Hold your horses!

[opens door]

Spike: {with a hick accent} What do you want? {looks around} Oh, hi, Geoff. Would you like to come in?

Geoff: Yes, please. Can you please put some clothes on in front of your girlfriend?

Spike: My girlfriend?

Kyra: {jumps out from behind Geoff} Yeah, me!

Spike: Oh, hi, Kyra. I didn’t see you there. Please come in. I’ll go put some clothes on real quick. I’ll be right back.

Kyra: Whatever. Take your time.

[They walk into the house.]

Nicki: {from offstage} Spike dear, who’s out there?

[Nicki walks onstage, wearing Spike’s shirt]

Nicki: Hi, Kyra, Geoff. How are you doing?

Kyra: I’m doing just fine, bitch. Thanks for sleeping with my boyfriend.

Nicki: I swear. It’s, um, not what you think it is.

Kyra: Sure. I’ll believe that when that jackass marches up to me and asks me to marry him. If it’s not what it looks like, then you must be in the wrong house and the wrong shirt.

Nicki: Okay, I admit it. I did sleep with Spike. But it was just tonight. I swear.

Kyra: Just tonight?

Nicki: Yeah. It was just tonight.

Kyra: Is that what you would have said every other time that he said he had plans?

Nicki: Yeah, it would have been.

Kyra: So, now you aren’t just a back-stabbing best friend slash bitch. You’re now lying back-stabbing best friend slash bitch.

Nicki: Something like that.

Kyra: Well, I want you to meet someone that is very special to me.

Nicki: Who?

Kyra: Mrs. Hand. {Kyra slaps Nicki} That’s for being everything BUT my best friend. Goodbye, Spike. Goodbye, Nicki, I hope you both burn in Hell. Oh, wait. I forgot. You’re both an insult to HELL!!! {grabbed Geoff} Come on, Geoff, let’s get out of here. I don’t like cheating boyfriends or back-stabbing best friends.

[They walked outside, he opened the car door for her, she got in, he closed the door.]

Kyra: {crying} How could he do that to me? I’ve been a good girl. I never cheated on him. I wasn’t too clingy. I wasn’t too distant. I was just right. He never complained about me. He always called to tell me why he would or wouldn’t call. I HATE HIM!!!

[He puts her arm around her and brings her closer.]

Geoff: Girl, look at me. Now do you know what I mean by his heart not lying with you? It lies with no one but himself. I think that you have finally realized that he is nothing but a selfish jerk. He care about no one but himself. I mean, he didn’t even try to stop you from going; didn’t even try to explain what has happened tonight. Now please, girl, will you come with me tonight?

Kyra: Where are we going?

Geoff: I’m going to show the night of your life.

[They drive off.]

[Curtain closes.]