Brighton For Beginners
(North Laine edition)Intro
Welcome to your new 'hood. You may be alarmed, confused, bewildered or possibly just stoned but fear not, the good folk at chillicheese are here to help you adjust to your new environment. Depending on where you've just come from, Brighton will seem unimaginably big and dazzlingly bright, or tiny, quiet and dull. Whichever, you're probably not seeing the whole picture yet. Take a step back and remember to look up once on a while, although obviously not at the same time or you'll fall over and get picked up by 'Smelly' or 'Smokey Dave'. The outstanding factor of Brighton life isn't any of the obvious things you've already heard about. It's nothing to do with gay pride, fish and chips, seagulls, or dirty weekends. The guiding principle is anonymity. That's why all those gay seagulls come here to eat chips at the weekend. Seriously though, whatever you do, however you dress, whatever colour you hair or how many intimate piercings you expose there will always be someone just a little more outrageous around than you so in the end nobody's looking, they've seen it all before. This is good news for shy celebs seeking refuge from the spotlight and bad news for ego maniacs who want everyone to point at them and say "isn't that Chris Eubank". Once you've got over the novelty of being able to walk around in your pants and bunny slippers without getting arrested, you're probably going to need some basic provisions so... Eating
Brighton residents and visitors all like to eat well. There's a transient population including a whole load of students who can't cook. So, why is it so difficult to find high quality, reasonably priced food in this town ? I don't know, but I do know where to avoid and where to head for. Proper restaurants are already covered by the ressy pages, but you can't eat out in fine dining style every night can you ? No you can't. Which leaves takeaways, sandwich shops and grocery outlets as your main source of sustenance. Takeaways is easy. There's loads but only three good ones. Spice Nutriment up by the Station (777746) covers your curry needs (trust me, I know it looks awful but it really is the best). Brighton Wok (270490) is by far the best Chinese, especially for chilli loving vegetarians - try the Sechwan Bean Curd and the vegetarian dumplings. Pizzas are all pretty much the same as anywhere else but Famous Moes (676867) is just about in the lead. For more exotic deliveries, Yo sushi can be persuaded to deliver apparently but that's about as cool as it gets.Breakfast in Brighton is another minefield and really a website of its own - the soon to be launched brightonreviewofbreakfasts. Let's just say Bill's is best, Nia on Trafalgar St is not bad and Inside Out on Gloucester Rd is pretty decent. As for the rest, you'll have to discover for yourself, that's part of the fun, but they're all in division 2.
The best lunchables are probably in the North Laine. Go down the hill under the tunnel from the station and on your left you've got the Real Patisserie and Toast, both do what they do very well indeed. If you want to sit down then Wagamama will of course ply you with noodle or try Red Veg on Gardner St if you like vege burgers, a lot.
Grocers are represented by the usual gang but you'll be aiming for Waitrose at the far end of Western Rd. This is pretty much where Brighton runs out and becomes the other place so the John Lewis Partnership have carefully sighted there store where it can be reached by both camps (pun intended). Before you go in though, check out Taj opposite. This has grown through three evolutions into the Asian megashopolis it is today and is the best place for spices, exotic veg, oils, sauces, breads, dips, crackers and dried food stuffs. How they've crammed so much into the space I'll never know, it's like a tardis in there. Closer to home for North Lainers is YumYum on Sydney St. Chinese supermarket downstairs, noodle bar upstairs doing just what Wagamama does but for a lot longer. This is where you buy a new wok, some dried noodles and some wonton cases (should you suddenly require some). There's also okinami for Japanese requisites and you can order online from them too. Oh, one more essential item I nearly forgot. M&S food at the station is open really late and sells bread, crisps, and booze (and chocolate). If that's shut you can always go to B2 over the road, they're open 24 hours.
Drinking
Certainly no shortage of boozers in Brighton which actually causes a problem of its own. Namely 'where shall we go for a drink'. Almost every pub in the area has had the clear-window and scrubbed-wood-floor job done which is not necessarily a bad thing as there used to be some right stinkers. I'm not going to go into detail so I'll be brief and say ..
The Good
Sussex Yeoman, Guildford Rd
3 JBs, North Rd
Caxton, North Gardens
Eddy, Upper Gloucester Rd
The Bad
Great Eastern, Trafalgar St.
Hare and Hounds, Preston Circus
Prince Albert, Trafalgar St.
Good Companions, Dyke Rd
The Ugly
The George, Trafalgar St.
The Office, Sydney St
HaHa, Pavilion Buildings
The whole of West St.
Shopping
There's all the usual suspects along Western Rd, North St and the dreaded Churchill Square but if you want to get funky then Kensington Gardens, Gardner St and Bond St will keep you busy for a while. It might be worth noting though that North Laine traders do not get out of bed early so no point even trying before 10:30. While weaving through the throng in Kensington Gardens, check out Snoopers Paradise for a laugh and if it's a Saturday, go one street further up the hill to the market on Upper Gardner St which is sometimes interesting but get there early to see the good stuff. Whatever you do, don't bother with the Marina. Whatever anyone tells you about the place, the only thing you have to remember is to avoid it. Really, it's bloody awful, completely soulless and totally pointless. Still curious? Well don't say I didn't warn you. Hove has shops too now apparently so you could go there too, but remember to take your passport so you can get back in once you've purchased your spam fritters, and horse brasses. I suppose I should mention the Lanes. Start off in the middle at Brighton Square and have a wander around. It's mostly not that useful but you get to feel like a proper local once you've got the layout in your head and can duck and dive around the lost tourists. Escape the rat runs and head for the Hop Poles in Middle St if you're in need of refreshment after all that. Nightlife
Clubs, pubs and comedy are in plentiful supply. The Seafront is now full of disco divas, Audio and Concorde stretch the action further east. It's just a case of picking the right night for you. The big names always draw a good crowd though. Don't miss out on the Komedia in Gardner St though, standard stand-up is generally high quality and the monthly Treason Show is well worth a try.
Outdoors
Being hemmed in by the Sea and the South Downs makes outdoor, healthy pursuits a bit tricky but not impossible. The parks are small but secluded, Queens Park and St Anne's Well Gardens are the best two. The Cycle path along the seafront runs interrupted from Saltdean to Shoreham (and then on past Worthing eventually) but is a dangerous sport in its own right. If you want to go walking out of town then you really need to use transport of some kind first. During the summer months, the 77 bus goes to Devil's Dyke which has stunning views and is probably the nearest point of the South Downs Way. Don't go in the pub though, it's truly terrible, stick to the ice cream van instead. An alternative is the 5B bus to Patcham and cross the A27 on foot and walk up to the Chattri, an Indian war memorial in the middle of nowhere. You'll need a good map to find this though.
If you're feeling a little more adventurous, then get the 22 to Woodingdean and cut up and off the falmer road where you can join the drovers trail that goes all the way to Lewes. It's not as far as you'd think and the whole walk takes about 90 minutes.
An easier afternoon out is by train to Falmer and across Stanmer Park to Stanmer village. Not incredibly exciting but worth exploring.
Other Areas
There are actually other part of Brighton where people live apart from the North Laine. No, really, there are. Centrally speaking, Hannover is probably the most dominant. Affectionately known as Museli Mountain due to the concentration of m/c mothers, this triangle of ex-rail workers housing between Elm Grove, Southover St and Queens Park Rd can't be ignored. There's a lot of pubs, some of them quite visitable, a lot of houses and shed loads of cars and children. You have to have 1.5 cars per housemate if you live there. There is practically nothing else, one shop and a couple of dodgy chippys and that's yer lot.
Kemptown from St James St and eastward into the village is sometimes treated as if it's painted pink. It isn't really but it's become more sought after area in the last few years. Not sure why but go for a wander and see what you think. There's a couple of almost OK restaurants and a few bars to check out but it's mainly dominated by Amex and the Hospital which are by far the biggest employers in the town.
Going the other way and up from the station there's West Hill which has its charms and this includes Seven Dials which can be a bit of a treat. There's a couple of good restaurants, the incredibly useful Tinkers hardware store and a handful of delis, offys and a few other shops you didn't know you needed.
Travel
City Cabs (205205) is ideal for us NLCA members and their automated service is very good once you've used them a few times. As they're just round the corner on Queens Rd, they turn up incredibly quickly so get your coat on as soon as you put the phone down.Buses are expensive and slow but sometimes the best way to get around if you're going a reasonable distance (like Hove town hall to the hospital, although why you'd be doing that I don't know) The 7 goes right across town east-west. They all go past Churchill Sq, and they're all full of horrid teenagers doing big brother impressions.
For a small town, Brighton has a lot of stations. There's 4 if you include Hove and loads if you go further west. The main one is pretty obvious but London Rd is handy of you want to go to the Open House Pub and Preston Park is good, er if you want to go to Preston Park. All trains go to London of course but you can also head to Lewes, Eastbourne, Ashford (for the french connection), Basingstoke, Reading or Cardiff. The one most people forget is London Bridge. It's pretty much just as easy to get to as Victoria, there's direct trains all the time and if you need to be in the City then it's the obvious choice.
The one mode of transport forbidden to you is the car. Where are you going to put it ? Unless you're one of the handful of residents lucky enough to have your own off-street parking. Traffic wardens are mercenary and target driven. They will slap a ticket on anyone anytime anywhere. Private clampers are even worse.
If you have a bike, lock it, if you don't you won't have one for long.
Services
Brighton Council website is surprisingly useful, well, mainly for finding out which day your bins might get emptied, but there's probably lots of useful info on there about swimming pools and planning applications etc. if you like that sort of thing. There's not much in the way of sports and leisure provision, Prince Regent pool, King Alfred Centre, a few tennis courts in the parks, I think that's about it. If you find some more, let me know. The other main providers of information are the local papers. There's more than you might imagine at first. The Evening Argus is the obvious one and probably the best for jobs (Thursday) although there really aren't that many to go round (jobs that is, there's loads of copies of the Argus). The free alternative it the Leader (which is rubbish) and of course the North Laine Runner which is, er, local. The secret one is the Friday Ad which is essential for buying and selling miscellaneous items.