[23:16] meeboguest694270: Hi, this Alisson, from Aomfroy@yahoo.com. Tell me about this person if you could so I can enter my comment.
[23:16] Muhammad: hm?
[23:16] Muhammad: oh
[23:17] Muhammad: well
[23:17] Muhammad: she's my ex
[23:17] Muhammad: what do you want to know exactly?
[23:17] Meebo Message: meeboguest694270 has left your page
[23:17] meeboguest864785: Well I need some more info on what she's like if you don't mind.
[23:18] Muhammad: she's crazy
[23:18] Muhammad: it's vague, and yet very accurate
[23:18] meeboguest864785: Well besides that what makes you think she's crazy I mean really
[23:18] Muhammad: lack of reasoning, paranoia
[23:19] meeboguest864785: It's not accurate to me. I need more details. Such as what for example?
[23:19] meeboguest864785: Maybe I'm not getting it, cause I'm only getting one side of the story. I don't know.
[23:19] Muhammad: read and listen to the blog entries. I think it makes a makes a pretty good case to justify my claims
[23:20] meeboguest864785: Why make a blog about her?
[23:20] Muhammad: the blog isn't about her.
[23:20] Muhammad: it's about the voicemails I get.
[23:20] Muhammad: I just ended the blog with the final post being about her.
[23:20] meeboguest864785: Well, I read the whole thing and it seems like it is about her mostly totally. So what is it that I'm missing here????
[23:20] Muhammad: it was about my life and my voicemails, not her.
[23:21] meeboguest864785: Okay, well why did you add her in there then?
[23:21] meeboguest864785: I mean if you think she's crazy and all.
[23:21] Muhammad: you're not missing anything. at the time I was dating her. so she was a part of my life. Just like everyone else in the blog
[23:21] Muhammad: I didn't want to censor anything, crazy or not.
[23:21] meeboguest864785: What was she paranoid about?
[23:22] meeboguest864785: besides what you have in the blog that is....
[23:22] Muhammad: she honestly believed the world was against her.
[23:22] meeboguest864785: okay can understand that not anting to censor anything.
[23:23] meeboguest864785: i meant there wanting to sensor anything, I meant to say there but misspelled that.
[23:23] meeboguest864785: really the world was against her? In what way?
[23:24] Muhammad: she believed that most of the fortunes that befell her were the results of people's calculated attempts to make her life miserable rather than approach events with logic and reason.
[23:24] Muhammad: *misfortunes
[23:25] Muhammad: and thus, the world was against her.
[23:25] meeboguest864785: Oh, okay. That make's sense. But if you could, please give me an example. I'm almost there with understanding, but need more detail. thanks!
[23:26] Muhammad: an example huh?
[23:26] Muhammad: let me think
[23:26] meeboguest864785: Did this have something to do with your relationship at the time too as well?
[23:26] meeboguest864785: sorry so many questions, but.... Thanks all the same!!
[23:27] Muhammad: no, I started the blog because I had the resources, I was bored, and I believed it could develop into something more. it had nothing to do with being in a relationship
[23:28] Muhammad: consider it this way, if she never left a voicemail, there would be no mention of her on the blog. It was always about the voicemails.
[23:28] Muhammad: anyway, as for an example.
[23:28] meeboguest864785: Okay. But what did she do that was crazy while in your relationship. I can understand that she was thinking that the world was against her to be irrational, but I want to know more of what really happened in the relationship besides what you have. that is if you don't mind?\
[23:29] meeboguest864785: Sorry I'm a very detailed person. It is one of my negative attributes.
[23:29] Muhammad: understandable. just sorry if i'm a little delayed in the responses. I'm on the phone as well
[23:29] meeboguest864785: That's cool.
[23:30] meeboguest864785: I can wait! I'm patient!
[23:30] Muhammad: so, an example... wow, it's just been a while, I'd tried not to think about her. let me think of something
[23:31] Muhammad: oh ok.
[23:31] meeboguest864785: okay. Take your time! very understandable!
[23:31] Muhammad: well, we were going to school together.
[23:31] Muhammad: not the same classes, but same school
[23:31] meeboguest864785: okay.
[23:31] meeboguest864785: okay
[23:31] Muhammad: she was having trouble a few of her classes
[23:31] meeboguest864785: okay
[23:32] Muhammad: and she honestly believed that her trouble in understand the teacher was because the teacher, nay, the school wanted to purposefully make things difficult just for her.
[23:32] meeboguest864785: having trouble in what classes?
[23:32] Muhammad: Her classmates had problems, but got them resolved over time. She chose to get upset and blame the school for her lack of understanding.
[23:32] meeboguest864785: okay that's abnormal to think that of her teachers!
[23:33] meeboguest864785: Are you currently in school right now?
[23:33] Muhammad: no, i'm out for the semester.
[23:33] meeboguest864785: I know this is off of the topic but.....
[23:33] meeboguest864785: why are you out of school?
[23:33] Muhammad: tuition issues
[23:34] meeboguest864785: well, if you get student loans, there should be no problem right?
[23:34] meeboguest864785: I know I had. Know problems here.
[23:35] meeboguest864785: I graduated without any troubles, and had to eventually pay it back, and still am, but it's still getting done.
[23:35] meeboguest864785: Do you plan on returning back to school, where you were at eventually? or another school?
[23:35] Muhammad: well, I wish it were just that easy, but since i'm just establishing my line of credit so to speak, I need to have a co-signer for private loans, and no one is willing to put themselves on the line financially for me. And I completely understand.
[23:36] meeboguest864785: I meant, sorry I'm a bit buzzed, had some to drink tonight! I meant going back to the schoool you were at?
[23:36] Muhammad: as it stands, I plan to take a class at a community college to delay the payment of federal loans until I can pay my school's tuition off. Then I'll return to my previous school.
[23:37] meeboguest864785: Why would they not put themselves on the line for you??? I mean you sound like such an intelligent person!!! They should have more faith in you than that!!!
[23:38] meeboguest864785: Well, at your previous school were you passing your classes as well?
[23:38] Muhammad: they aren't in the position financially to lend themselves to risk.
[23:38] meeboguest864785: Where do you plan on going to community college then?
[23:38] Muhammad: where I live
[23:39] meeboguest864785: What is the name of the college over there? There are a bout a billion colleges you know! and plus the fact too I'm not from around here!
[23:40] meeboguest864785: Sorry!
[23:40] Muhammad: don't take it the wrong way, but I don't want to say.
[23:41] meeboguest864785: So what was the issue? Were you not passing your classes? or was it the straight up financial issues intead?
[23:41] Muhammad: I didn't edit the voicemails properly. there are "clues" if you will, that people can use to really pinpoint my college. I decided not to edit those things out though after I realize that I left enough interest to track me. I don't think people would, i'm just not worth it.
[23:42] Muhammad: *realized
[23:42] meeboguest864785: and(sorry I'm asking so many questions!) But I think it weird in it's self that you don't want to say where you are going to college!!! It's almost as if you are hiding something!!
[23:42] meeboguest864785: Those have been my past experiences.Maybe they have come to light here at the wrong time! dunno.
[23:42] Muhammad: it was all financial issues. the classes didn't pose a challenge. with the exception of writing. but that's only because of my work methods.
[23:44] Muhammad: I am hiding something, lol. - I purposefully edited out last names and things in the voicemails the protect the identity of the people who are featured.
[23:44] Muhammad: *the = to.
[23:44] Muhammad: sorry, phone call and typing. - 2 different conversations going on.
[23:45] meeboguest864785: You seem as if you have a low self-esteem about yourself! I don't know why this is. The comment you made seems to speak for itself, (I don't think that I'm worth it.). you had said in one of your comments! have more faith in yourself! really!
[23:46] meeboguest864785: No. I meant about the college you are going. Not the blog or the voicemails.
[23:46] Muhammad: lol, it's not low self-esteem at all. I'm not worth it in the sense as in, what would someone have to gain by piecing together the clues to track me down?
[23:46] Muhammad: i'm simply not worth it because there's no gain
[23:46] meeboguest864785: Well, What are you hiding from? Its seems as if you are hiding. But from what though???
[23:47] Muhammad: yes, hiding the college i'm going to also helps to protect those people's identities.
[23:47] meeboguest864785: Worth no gain as in what?
[23:47] meeboguest864785: Sorry, but I'm a little confused here!
[23:48] Muhammad: as in, say, you were to go through all the trouble to find out what college I went to and who I was? what's the benefit for you? there isn't one. no gain. thus, i'm not worth it.
[23:48] Muhammad: and that's what I meant when I said, i'm not worth it.
[23:48] Muhammad: my self-esteem is definably average.
[23:53] Muhammad: does that make sense any?
[23:56] meeboguest864785: Yes! It most certainly does! But you never answered my questions though.
[23:57] meeboguest864785: I hope that this is not out of line!!! But, are you dating anyone after the nasty relationship??
[23:58] Muhammad: I'm talking to people I'm interested in, but not officially dating anyone, no.
[23:58] meeboguest864785: I'm previously engaged to my boyfriend. Not flurting here! But i just thought i might ask. If you don't mind?
[23:58] Muhammad: what questions didn't I answer?
[23:58] meeboguest864785: The one about the school?
[23:59] meeboguest864785: Why did you stick with the previous person for so long if you felt her to be not all there too??
[23:59] Muhammad: Oh,well, really for the safety and protection of those featured in the blog, I don't want to get any specific institute names or locations
[00:00] meeboguest864785: Okay.
[00:01] Muhammad: the person before my ex was the complicated story that I didn't manage to flesh out during the life of the blog.
[00:01] meeboguest864785: It seemed as if you two were already having problems at the time. This is why I'm asking.
[00:01] meeboguest864785: No. I'm asking about the perosn you thought was crazy.
[00:02] meeboguest864785: or you think is still crazy now.
[00:02] Muhammad: without going into detail, just suffice it to say, it wasn't my choice to end things. and the problems arose independent of me.
[00:02] Muhammad: ooh, the person that was crazy
[00:02] meeboguest864785: or the person you think is still crazy, i meant to say.
[00:02] meeboguest864785: yes. the person you think and thought was crazy.
[00:02] Muhammad: why stay with her so long if I thought she was crazy?
[00:03] meeboguest864785: yes!
[00:03] Muhammad: a few different reasons. Some were noble, and some were shallow, and some were desperate.
[00:04] meeboguest864785: There had to be something there! I know that if I thought that way about somebody, I would leave them in an instant! No questions asked!
[00:04] meeboguest864785: Desperate? How do you mean? And shallow, How do you mean? Explain! More details please!
[00:05] Muhammad: I felt almost like I was participating in some reality show. At times even I wanted to see how things were going to end. that was one reason I kept going.
[00:05] meeboguest864785: Well, okay! But why do that at someone else's expense??? Don't you think that to be a little rude?
[00:06] meeboguest864785: Why lead someone on like that???
[00:06] meeboguest864785: I would never do that!!!
[00:06] Muhammad: of course that's rude. but that wasn't my only thought. just one of many. that's why I said, some noble, some shallow, some desperate.
[00:06] Muhammad: there were a few conflicting thoughts that ultimately kept me with her for as long as I did.
[00:06] meeboguest864785: Okay. Well, discuss about the one about the noble than. Go into more detail with that.
[00:07] meeboguest864785: What were those conflicting thoughts?
[00:07] meeboguest864785: Sorry I'm digging in so deep! Tell me if I'm becoming too personal! Thans!
[00:07] Muhammad: noble/shallow/desperate were the conflicting thoughts. there are almost antonyms
[00:07] meeboguest864785: I meant thanks on the last line!
[00:08] Muhammad: *there = they
[00:08] meeboguest864785: antonyms? Why just them? can't you go into more detail? It seems maybe if you were using the perosn.
[00:08] meeboguest864785: the person i mean.
[00:09] Muhammad: anyway, the more noble thoughts were the things telling me that there's a good person buried underneath her, that I just need to get to know her better, that perhaps I need to adjust myself to become a better person for her.
[00:09] meeboguest864785: Why did you think that you needed to become a better person for her? wasn't the fact that you are and still were then who you were enough for her?
[00:10] Muhammad: I'd like to think that I'm a good person, but there's always room for improvement
[00:10] meeboguest864785: Was it maybe the fact that you stopped talking to her completely the fact that she tried to jump you, as you stated in the bog, as well?
[00:11] meeboguest864785: was that the final nail in the coffin for you there?
[00:11] Muhammad: hah, yeah
[00:11] meeboguest864785: hmm. well, that answers a lot of questions!
[00:12] meeboguest864785: If she didn't try to do that. do you think you would still have went for her?
[00:12] Muhammad: things would have ended, but I probably would have spoken to her still
[00:13] meeboguest864785: Are you a catholic, by any chance? I am a christian. But, however, i do not practice my religion toa "T".
[00:13] meeboguest864785: Why would they have eventually ended, if you thought she was such a good person under neath it all? i don't understand.
[00:14] Muhammad: I *wanted* to believe she was.
[00:14] meeboguest864785: would you have been the one to intitally call things off eventually?
[00:14] Muhammad: no, i'm not a catholic
[00:14] meeboguest864785: Still not ansering my question. Sorry again!
[00:14] Muhammad: She would have called things off. she had a temper problem.
[00:15] meeboguest864785: What religion then are you? or do you have this censored as well, and may not want to say. It's okay if not!
[00:15] Muhammad: Scientologist
[00:15] Muhammad: lol
[00:15] meeboguest864785: Okay. Dealing with someone who had a temper would be quite difficult!
[00:16] Muhammad: indeed
[00:16] meeboguest864785: Really?? Were you always this religion? or were you something else before this?
[00:17] Muhammad: i'm just kidding, although Scientology is fascinating. Let's just settle on that i'm an Atheist.
[00:18] meeboguest864785: Okay. Well, then why do you say that you are an athesitic then?
[00:18] Muhammad: the overall point i'm making is that religion is a label, nothing more.
[00:18] meeboguest864785: I'd hope scientology would not be your choice! I've heard horror stories from them!
[00:19] meeboguest864785: Okay. I'd agree with that. religion is just a religion! It's more or less comes down to what you believe!
[00:19] Muhammad: I've visited a church of scientology a few times and have a few of their recommended books.
[00:20] meeboguest864785: When did you visit the church of scientology?
[00:20] Muhammad: last summer
[00:20] Muhammad: I had an awesome blog about my experiences there and how they relate to what people have said about it.
[00:20] meeboguest864785: Yeah? so it was a total trip when you went eh?
[00:20] Muhammad: but the blog was taken down or something.
[00:21] meeboguest864785: Who took the blog down for scientology?
[00:21] Muhammad: ...maybe the church of scientology! lol
[00:22] meeboguest864785: So where do you work now? may I enquire? Since your not in school. I'm nozy!
[00:22] meeboguest864785: That's funny! the church of scientology taking you wite down! ha!
[00:23] Muhammad: i'm a programmer at a book/tape publisher
[00:23] meeboguest864785: I mean site sown! damn, i need to stop drinking!
[00:23] meeboguest864785: Oh! really?? for how long have you worked there? it sounds really interesting!
[00:24] Muhammad: it's been a while now. I was doing it before and after I went to school.
[00:24] Muhammad: and it's only interesting if you're a nerd.
[00:24] Muhammad: but I am, so it works out.
[00:25] meeboguest864785: So what's the name of this company you work at?
[00:25] meeboguest864785: I'm a manger at DELL computer company! So I've nothing to hide here!
[00:26] meeboguest864785: But, I'm currently going to school to become a computer animator at the same time. But only going part-time.
[00:27] Muhammad: ah.
[00:28] meeboguest864785: Yep. So what si the name of your company you work for? or do you not want to answer that?
[00:29] Muhammad: well, I don't want to say where.
[00:29] Muhammad: just pretend that I work at Dell too
[00:29] meeboguest864785: okay.
[00:30] meeboguest864785: So not to shift gears here, But you didn't get hurt for almost getting jumped? Or I should ask did you get jumped at all?
[00:30] meeboguest864785: okay! I can boss you around and treat you less than my favorite employees than! hows that? HA! Just kidding!
[00:32] Muhammad: no
[00:32] Muhammad: it was a hallow threat
[00:32] Muhammad: I even waited around to see if they would show
[00:32] meeboguest864785: Oh, okay.
[00:32] meeboguest864785: well than that's good!
[00:33] Muhammad: yeah
[00:33] Muhammad: but the threat which I had recorded on voicemail was enough of a criminal offense for me.
[00:33] meeboguest864785: So anyone biting the bait as far as dating for you yet? As in are they interested in you, and want to meet you, date you etc.?
[00:33] Muhammad: yeah, people are.
[00:34] meeboguest864785: Huh. Well, I could see that one most definetly!
[00:34] Muhammad: How'd you find the blog by the way?
[00:34] meeboguest864785: So what's then stopping you from going out to meet them then???\
[00:35] Muhammad: Dating someone is not a priority for me.
[00:35] meeboguest864785: Just surfing the internet and my friend told me about a series of blogs she browsed periodically. And then it just so happened that you were on the list of the bunch!
[00:36] Muhammad: oh.
[00:36] meeboguest864785: Well, it's never too soon to start dating to start over and be happy with somebody now is it?!
[00:37] Muhammad: well you can tell her that this blog is pretty must closed. I'm planning to start a new one soon with the same premise though. Just no text explanations at all though.
[00:37] meeboguest864785: I went through my series of bad relationships to come to this absolute good one in which is about to be my soul mate!
[00:38] meeboguest864785: So you are going to keep the same info on here and implement it into your new blog then, but with no explanations in them?
[00:38] meeboguest864785: as in no explanations, i mean, in the new ones?
[00:39] Muhammad: nah, it'll be a different blog all together. but I'll update this blog with a link to the new one when once it's created.
[00:39] Muhammad: and the new one will have a link back to the old one (the one you're on now)
[00:39] meeboguest864785: So if dating right now is not your priority then why are you talking to different women on line to see what they are like, if dating right now is not a part of your priority as of right now?
[00:40] Muhammad: the new one will still have a spot to chat with me though
[00:40] Muhammad: lol, who says i'm talking to them online?
[00:40] meeboguest864785: Well, I thought that's what you had said. That's why I asked.
[00:41] Muhammad: nah. I didn't say that. I'm just talking to people i'm interested in though. As a means to keep in touch.
[00:41] meeboguest864785: Weren't you maybe possibly talking to one on the phone, while chatting with me? May I ask?
[00:41] Muhammad: a friend that i'm helping write a paper.
[00:41] meeboguest864785: Oh, okay.
[00:41] meeboguest864785: What is the paper about?
[00:41] Muhammad: globalism.
[00:42] meeboguest864785: Hmm. Deep topic! What about globalism? the environment? what?
[00:43] Muhammad: using globalism as a means to solve world crisis
[00:43] meeboguest864785: Oh, okay. I can brainstorm. Um, global warming, wars, famine, and other environmental issues etc.
[00:44] Muhammad: it's ok, we've got it covered, but thankyou
[00:44] meeboguest864785: Well, I'm going to go to bed! Cause it's way past my bed time here! so hope to speak with you again on here some other time! Later!
[00:44] Muhammad: sure. well, if it says i'm online, I probably am.
[00:44] Muhammad: just msg me
[00:45] Muhammad: later.
[00:45] meeboguest864785: Thanks for the feed back again! I appreciate it! too, and I'll message you soon as I can! I'm outty!
[00:45] Muhammad: peace.
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