Homily for Memorial Mass for Joe McGowan
Given on his birthday – February, 25th, 2008
Life is so very precious… and all too often, so very short. I talked about that just two weeks ago, when I had the beautiful privilege of Baptizing our newest grandchild, Casey Elisabeth. It was just two years prior to that that I had the same privilege for her brother and sister, twins, Colin and Erin. In the two years separating those two great celebrations, we experienced the loss of three family members. In the natural order of things, we lost two of their great-grandmothers, one in her 80’s and the other over 90. The third death was that of Casey’s Uncle Denny, who died tragically in an industrial accident at age 32, in June of 2006.
Three weeks ago, I served at a memorial Mass for my mother, one of the great-grandmothers I mentioned, who died in August. After that Mass, while conversing with the young pastor of that parish, St. Charles Borromeo in Moorestown, NJ, he asked about my family. I shared with him how we lost our Colleen in January of 1997, just a month before her 26th birthday.
His reply had a strong impact on me, and it has stayed with me ever since. He said, “The sadness in burying our parents, grandparents and great-grandparents, is that we lose our past… but the greater sadness in losing our children is that we lose our future”.
Our family and yours share a kindred spirit and a common sadness. One of our children is gone from us. And yes… because of that we have lost some of our future, and many of our hopes and dreams… and that contributes greatly to the grief we share… especially today, February 25th, the shared birthday of both your Joe and our Colleen.
In our Gospel from St. John we are consoled with the beautiful Words, and evermore beautiful promises of Jesus.
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God, have faith also in me. In My Father’s House there are many dwelling places… and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again to take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be”.
We are allowed, even expected, to take Jesus at His Word in that passage. Joe has had his place prepared for him. God does not make a judgment of us based on only one part of our life. God makes judgment of us based on our entire life. Joe McGowan was a good person, a loving son, brother, uncle and a great friend… God sees the goodness and loving nature in Joe and He will reward him for it. Joe’s death broke our hearts, but we must allow ourselves to trust in God and commend Joe into His hands. We must also allow ourselves to be wrapped in the three Theological Virtues of Faith, Hope and Love.
The reality of Joe’s passing just 10 short months ago on that April day still confronts each of us here tonight in a very personal way. But we have to be aware that we are confronted with other realities, as well… those three realities I just mentioned. Faith, Hope and Love!
Our Faith must be strong… strong in our belief in a God who is all-loving and all-merciful… a God who made us and knows us intimately. It is through Faith that we experience the great promises of Jesus in our Gospel, and it is by Faith that we realize how our Faith and Hope are knitted together in Love… God’s love for Joe and for each one of us who are hurting so deeply; Our love for Joe, our love for each other, and our love of God who gave His life that we may have eternal life in the place He has prepared for us.
If you search in your hearts right now, I believe there are two things you are at least beginning to realize: first, time is a great healer. Yes, we miss Joe and we still shed our tears for him, but we know that he will always be part of lives, forever in our hearts, and in minds filled with beautiful memories.
The 2nd thing we have probably found out in these passing months is how personal the grieving process can be. Each of us feels it differently and reacts differently.
I point this out because it is important to bear with one another with love and understanding, knowing that everyone has there own personal memories of Joe, and that you will feel them in different ways and at different times.
What we are doing tonight is important. We come together in Word and Sacrament to pray for Joe and the happy repose of his soul. But don’t forget to pray for yourselves and for each other, as well. We all need prayers… God hears and answers… He will get us through everything that confronts us in life.
That’s another promise He has made to us… that He will never ask us to do anything that He hasn’t already given us the strength, the grace and the blessings to do.
Be happy and be at peace… Joe wouldn’t want it any other way.