Hello my friend. Good to hear from you.
You say "the block seems to be not being aware of the awareness".
Can awareness be aware of itself, or only of it's content? Is awareness deniable? If you say "I am not aware of awareness" - doesn't awareness have to be there to know that statement?
So you are never NOT aware of awareness. The world is an appearance IN awareness. Is this not the case already?
So awareness is really a pure subjectivity - the root subject to any object which may arise and pass. This subjectivity doesn't appear as
another object - you cannot describe the attributes of awareness because all attributes appear IN awareness. Awareness is the basis or
ground of all things appearance.
So that subjectivity objectifies everything but it's own presence, and that presence is evident, obvious. It's just overlooked or ignored in
preference for the objective content of awareness.
Stay with what you are absolutely certain of - you ARE. You exist. That is already undeniable. That requires no beliefs or assumptions.
You know you exist prior to any concept.
And that certainty of existence is SO CERTAIN because of what? Because of the immediacy and presence of awareness, of subjectivity.
You have been the subject to a lifetime of experiences, of objects.
And the body-mind is another object.
That certainty of existence is the same thing as the obviousness of this subjectivity. Only we call that "I".
"I" IS awareness or Consciousness. And the world, body, mind, and belief in "Joe" as a separate "person" arise in Consciousness, just
like the dream. In the dream, Consciousness is still but a world arises along with that "joe" character, who thinks, has desires and
fears, and the belief mechanism or identification is also present - the "dream joe" takes this appearance to be what he is.
In Consciousness, the world, body and mind appears. That's the dream. And that is no different than the so-called "waking state". There is
a world, a body, a mind, and a "joe" character.
But it is Consciousness who is the dreamer. It is Consciousness which is the "I" or pure subjectivity. And in this subjectivity, all
appearances have always come and gone. And they have never, for one moment, affected the Consciousness in which they appear.
They are in fact MADE OF Consciousness. Just like the reflection is MADE OF mirror.
love to you
randall