the Word

Opus Dei | Opus Hominem

Destiny designs some facts in a way that they look inevitable, although they are avoidable. It was on a pamphlet of a faceless church with words from the Gospel of Saint John where my path was predestined: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made... " Thousands of beings have been lost trying to find the Word = God that the Lord used. Nevertheless, I succeeded on it. It was both my pride and my condemnation. The Sanhedrin with their Kabbalah had calculated an infinite combination of letters looking for the Word = God that the Lord announced at the creation of the Universe. They were wrong. Why is Greek or Hebrew better than other languages? Did Moses give us the name of God: יהוה ? Or is it just a wispy shadow of their actual name, which is inaccessible to us? For three months, I have been here in this isolated observatory. Nobody is with me and nobody is around here. I will stay for three months more, finishing an astronomical investigation as complicated as it is useless. However, I am happy because the silence is a necessary canvas where thoughts can be painted.

"Philosophy is written in this grand book - I mean the Universe - which stands continually open to our gaze, but it cannot be understood unless one first learns to comprehend the language and interpret the characters in which it is written. It is written in the language of mathematics, and its characters are triangles, circles and other geometrical figures, without which it is humanly impossible to understand a single word of it; without these, one is wandering around in a dark labyrinth". I read the Assayer by Galileo in my youth. But it is now when it is illuminating my mind...Eyphka! I jumped from my seat and almost knocked over a telescope... the language of Nature is mathematics.. and if the Lord has been talking with Nature, they will use the language of the listener.

The perfect language: mathematics. It is there where I have to look for the sacred word that, as a key, will subdue Nature for me. God's power subordinated under me. Where do I have to search? Perhaps is it into Calculus, that descends into infinitesimal parts and rebuilds the forms from there? Or is it into algebra, that converts chaos into order? Or is it into geometry that shapes the nothingness? I had ravaged my soul and my body seeking in books the sacred Word that the Lord has used to talk with Nature. I had read Leibniz, Newton, Einstein... thousands of ideas flowed through my mind. Might I recognize the Word = God and more importantly could I use it? Could it be an unresolvable equation? Could it be a number written never before or a shape never before drawn? Anguish deluged my dreams. Would happen if I already found the Word = God and I lost it among infinite equations?

I barely can eat or sleep. Where is the Number, Equation or Shape that possesses the power of God? I dismissed the natural numbers such as 1 or 2, because their limited complexity can't contain all the possibilities that the Word = God required. For the same reason I dismissed the algebraic numbers and the basic shapes such as triangles and squares. Also, it can't be the circle where all the symmetries are already accomplished. It was during a night of fever when I saw a fissure in the problem. After reading Einstein and Planck, I understood that the universe is discrete. This means that creation is built of granite bricks, atoms or quanta, minimal units of energy, time and space. I imagined a house built with bricks that can be enumerated, although they are infinite. The amount of blocks that compose the universe has an underlying order. There is a first element, a second, a third... These little pieces of information are finite, ergo depicted with a finite number. Everything is just a number; Pythagoras would be proud of me. This night between euphoria and elation, I conjectured that the Number = God would be like this:

2 4 123

02 2310 9 3

3 0 0 1 9020022

9 0 1 0 2 0

010290983098019020938010109283092019012023

9 8 0 9 8 0

0 9 2 32 3212

21 1 1 1 0

1 2

3 1 3

6 0 5

The first digit must be zero, because it corresponded to the first creation: the vacuum. How is the Number = God? A transcendental number is a number that can't be obtained from any finite algebraic operation. So the Word = the Number must be transcendental; not generated by finite steps. The most notable example of this race of numbers is Π or Pi defined as the ratio between the perimeter of a circle and its diameter. A constant for any circle that it is impossible to calculate completely. A paradox that reflects the nature of the True: inaccessible to us, although reachable. "No!", I shouted. Enraged, I destroyed the telescope, the instruments, and in a fit of blindness I set fire to the observatory.

I barely remember the succession of events that followed. I was sleeping on the ground among ashes and soil. It rained a couple of times. I ate grass. Forty days passed before an epiphany guided me to the Number = God that is also an algorithm. The order that allows the rebuilding of everything from nothingness. In a piece of burnt paper I found:

            Three
                                          Two
                        one                       begets
"Tao begets one; begets; begets;      the
                            two                       myriad
                                          three
                                                      creatures..."

So, the Word = God is an order. Perhaps as a joke of the Lord, I found the one that generates the Number. The one that begets everything. I found the Number = God

However, there is a detail that I lost in my arrogance and my blindness. The number 1 has an perfect opposite that eliminates it and reduces 1 to zero. This number is the same number, but from an opposite direction: -1. The same rule exists for every number. Every number has a perfect nemesis that eliminates it. Even infinity is overcome by negative infinity; they are the same point seen from different perspectives. The Word = God that creates everything also cancels everything. Conception and destruction are ruled by the same word, but pronounced by different players; tail and head of the same coin; my creation and my destruction comes in a single world. I can't represent all of Nature, but I represented all of my nature. Just after writing the sacred number, I understood that the Word = God will erase all of my nature... As 5 is canceled by -5 and reduces to 0. I am falling into an emptiness that will erase any track of me. The love of my mother for me will disappear. My image on all the photographs will fade away. The memory of a first kiss that I shared with someone... everything will vanish...any trace of my existence. They won't acknowledge me, because they can't remember me. It was my condemnation, the Lord severely punishes those who dare to see through God's eyes. The breeze brings a piece of burnt paper "All of creation is born from substance. Substance is born of nothingness...", so I will return back to nothingness.

The patience characterizes the work of God and it will allow me just an instant before my existence disappears. How can I send a message to a universe where I am not welcome anymore? Where would I hide my words from the Lord? Perhaps a story without my name that will dwell in fantasy. Another faceless idea in a domain not regulated by God, in order to respect our free will. The Lord won't review it. An imaginary story, that doesn't belong to reality. Will I have time to write the whole sacred number...? No, the Nothingness is coming. The emptiness, like a wolf, is hunting me for prey. I saw its eyes. I feel anguish. I would prefer to die and rest... not to be is dreadful.