The Hartford Bucket List

Illustrations by Peter Morlock

Hartford and Hartford-area residents often seem defensive about the pleasures offered by the city. A Hartford public relations campaign from some years back begged, "Come to Hartford, I swear it's fun," as though the listener would be right to be skeptical of such a claim. On his Web site ctmuseumquest.com, Steve Wood says he aims to "destroy the myth that there's nothing to do around here." Is the myth so strong and pervasive that it doesn't just need to be dispelled, it needs to be destroyed? We don't think so.

To counter that mindset, here's a list of 33 things to do in the Hartford area before you die. Hopefully, with all these attractions listed below, residents of the region will realize that the doubts about the city's attractions are unfounded. There's plenty to do in and near the city. We can claim that proudly, without qualifications. Whether you're family minded or boozily decadent, a sports fan or a bookworm, Hartford has a bucket for you.

The list that follows is far from exhaustive — let us know what we missed.

If you live in or around Hartford, you know that Cinestudio at Trinity College is the premier destination for film-lovers in the area. Originally a school lecture hall, the space was converted in a glorious '30s-style movie palace, complete with a balcony, in 1970. The fare varies from independent and foreign films to second-run major studio pictures. But no matter what's on the screen, show up early to secure the back row center seats, and prepare to be hypnotized by the curtains. For more information, visit cinestudio.org.

Hartford Bike Tour
In the 1890s, Hartford was the bicycle capital of America, thanks to Albert Augustus Pope and his self-named manufacturing company. Pope, an avid cyclist, controlled key patents on bicycles, and got a percentage of each bicycle made in America. A good way to celebrate the city's former dominance of the two-wheel world is to take the Hartford Bike Tour along with hundreds of other bike (and Hartford) enthusiasts. For more information, visit hartfordbiketour.org.

This is the big marquee name in Hartford cultural activities, and the reasons are obvious. Mark Twain is rightfully one of the best-known figures in American letters, and the house is like Hartford's opulent history captured in amber. Toward the beginning of the tour, most guides will announce they will refer to Mr. Twain by his penless name, Samuel Clemens. It's fun to pretend you never heard that, and at the end of the tour (when you see the billiards room/office), try saying, "This Clemens guy has some nice stuff," and ask what it was like when Mark Twain owned the house. Too much fun! For more information, visit marktwainhouse.org.

Hartford Marathon
Is there a better way to see the city than seeing it dripping with sweat and aching in every part of your body? We think not. According to the marathon's Web site, the new course of the race introduced in 2007 "showcases the revitalized riverfront and neighborhoods of Hartford." In other words, every October the race offers great views and sites along with punishing physical demands. For more information, visit hartfordmarathon.com/marathonnew.htm.

Food Trucks in Bushnell Park
It may seem disconcerting to order food worthy of a sit-down restaurant somewhere that has no restaurant in sight, but take a deep breath and improvise. Worried about no tables? Try a park bench, or better yet a patch of grass. Missing a snooty maître d'? Be extra snide yourself. The park setting and the views of downtown are great, and, despite having four-wheeled kitchens, the chefs are great.

A Dong Market, in West Hartford, is the place to go for anyone who enjoys an impressive stock of Asian food and other products (we can't recommend the Japanese candies highly enough). But, perhaps just as important as its food, is its value as the go-to place for juvenile puns. Located at 160 Shield St., West Hartford, 953-8903.

Creative Cocktail
There are a lot of good reasons to go to go to Real Art Ways (the movies, the art). Plus, a couple bad ones (just kidding, RAW staff). But perhaps the best reason to go is Creative Cocktail, the arts-iest, farts-iest party in town. It's really an X-Files-worthy mystery why everybody seems smarter and sexier surrounded by art and awash in beer and wine. No, wait. Actually it isn't. For more information: realartways.org.

You remember the Salvador Dali print you had in your dorm room? You wouldn't have enjoyed that artfully tripped-out delight if not for the Wadsworth Atheneum. Legendary Wadsworth director Chick Austin was instrumental in introducing surrealist art, as well as the works of Pablo Picasso, to the states by holding the first retrospective for both in the '30s. The museum remains a world-class art institution, with a collection that includes masterpieces from the museum's storied past. For more information, visit wadsworthatheneum.org.

The Remains of the Virgin Mary Shrine
From its 1999 immaculate conception until the day after Easter of this year, the Virgin Mary Shrine in Colt Park attracted scores of religious visitors. Built after Hartford resident Juan Ramon Gordils said a vision of Mary guided him to the spot, the shrine became increasingly ornate and impressive as visitors added to the structure until it burnt down earlier this year. A statue and a modest structure remain today, perhaps waiting for the devoted to create another fire hazard.

Drag Revues
A weird collision between fake and real happens in the best drag performances. You have men pretending to be women pretending to sing, which always proves frivolous and fun. Hartford's Chez Est and the Polo Club both offer drag revues. Check their Web sites for the schedules: chezest.com and hartfordpoloclub.com.

UConn Basketball
When you're on the outside looking in — like, say, if you're downtown for a drink with a friend and get clogged in foot-traffic by dozens of suburbanites in face paint — UConn basketball can be a drag. But once you're inside the XL Center, it's a whole different animal. It's almost impossible to avoid getting swept up in the excitement of a Huskies game. For more information, visit uconnhuskies.com.

Eat a Scotts' Jamaican Beef Patty

Before It's Cooled Down Properly
For 20 years, the North End's Scotts' Jamaican Bakery has presented its patrons with a tasty dilemma: Their beef patties are so delicious it's almost otherworldly; however, they are also so hot when first served (the meat packed within the flaky-yet-pliant crust supernovas easy), that they can trash your mouth if you're not patient. It's a unique area conundrum. For more information, visit scottsjamaicanbakery.com.

Enjoy a Budget-Friendly Romantic
Getaway to a Berlin Turnpike Motel
Sometimes you've got to get out of the city with your romantic partner of choice (and as long as he or she is of legal age, breathing, human and consenting we're not going to judge). Why not do it on the cheap and with the chintz on a budget-friendly romantic getaway to a Berlin Turnpike motel? There are countless ones to choose from, with some offering exotic enticements like in-room hot tubs, theme rooms and hourly rates.

Be Amazed/Driven Batty by the
Trinity College Chapel Bells
If Disneyworld's Epcot Center had a "College Land," odds are it would look exactly like Trinity College. And, with the reconstruction work on the campus's long walk finished this year, it's more bucolic than ever. The academic splendor is punctuated by the hourly chimes of the chapel's carillon bells. In the summertime, the college hosts a summer series of concerts, including a carillon performance.

The Caffeine Trifecta
Hit your three favorite coffee joints — for us it's Jojo's on Pratt Street, La Paloma on Capitol Avenue and Tisane on Farmington Avenue — and get a large coffee from each one. Despite how it's near insanity-inducing levels of caffeine, drink all three of them in a single jittery day.

Rajun Cajun Lunch Buffet
When you move to Hartford, someone will tell you about the Rajun Cajun within the first five minutes of unpacking. And for good reason. Not only is it a gathering place of the Hartford area's movers and shakers, it offers delicious and authentic soul and Cajun foods. During the lunch buffet, you can sample a lot of them — including the beloved mac-and-cheese. rajuncajunct.com.

Visit Katharine Hepburn's Grave
If there's a patron saint of Yankee blue-bloodedness, it's Katharine Hepburn. Born in Hartford, Hepburn was voted the greatest female star in the history of cinema by the American Film Institute in 1999 for her work in films ranging from Bringing up Baby to The African Queen. Fitting Hepburn's non-flashy image, her final resting place is hidden away and marked only by a simple stone adorned with her name. But even if you don't find her grave, the Cedar Hill Cemetery is worth a stroll. cedarhillcemetery.org.

Ascend Travelers Tower
Built in 1919, the downtown Hartford building was once the tallest structure in New England, at 34 stories and 527 feet high. While it's no longer the tallest, it remains a landmark, accessible both to visitors interested in climbing to its top to enjoy the sweeping vistas of the city, but also for some fine feathered friends. While they didn't appear this year, the tower has been a nesting site for peregrine falcons, an endangered bird species. But even in the absence of the falcons, just enjoying the sites and possible vertigo make it a must-see. For more information visit hartford.omaxfield.com/travelers.html.

Holiday Light Fantasia
Walking a fine line between tacky and trippy, family friendly and gonzo bonkers, the Holiday Light Fantasia is a wintertime mainstay for the city. Bring the kids, or just some stoner friends, to Goodwin Park in Hartford's South End where brightly lit displays stand from November to January. The displays, including the snowflake archway and the entrance to toyland are somehow psychedelic and childlike at the same time. holidaylightfantasia.com.

Ride the Star Shuttle
The free bus that travels through downtown has saved hundreds of drunks from brisk, sobering walks and/or potentially disastrous drives. Along the way, it's served a legitimate purpose for the community — shuttling conventioneers and local captains of industry to and fro to keep the machine of capitalism well-fueled.

Waterfront Festivals
Events and bodies of water are like chocolate and peanut butter: They go great together. There's a sweeping variety of events that occur throughout the year, ranging from Scottish Pipes in the Valley to the Taste of the Caribbean.

Farmers' Markets
Whether you like fresh produce, delicious baked goods or flat-out good vibes, Hartford's farmers' markets have what you want. It's no secret that locally produced food tastes better, and everything laid out in these markets originates within the Hartford area. For more information, visit hartfordfarmersmarket.org, hartfordfood.org/programs/ne_market.html, westend.org/farmersmarket/, or, for a complete list of Connecticut's farmers' markets, visit ct.gov/doag/cwp/view.asp?a=3260&q=398996.

Heckle Whoever's
Playing the Wolf Pack
The Wolf Pack play about 40 games a year against minor league hockey teams you've never heard of. But you want to know something? Those other guys suck. They're from other cities and have bad sportsmanship and inadequate hockey-playing abilities and may or may not be ugly or products of questionable parentage. And they should hear your opinion on that. Otherwise, how will they know? For more information, visit hartfordwolfpack.com.

Create Your Own Downtown Bar Crawl
This is how to become a legend in a few easy steps: Start recording your craziest booze-soaked shenanigans, wittiest moments and most memorable encounters in Hartford's downtown bars. (By "record," we mean "write down" or "remember" — you don't necessarily have to videotape anything.) Assemble your notes. Then, guide a tour through downtown watering holes, pointing out places where you or your friends got it going on like Genghis Khan.

Watch the New Year's Eve
Fireworks from Bushnell Park
New Year's Eve fireworks rarely disappoint, and Hartford's display is no exception. When the sky flowers burst over Bushnell Park, there's fire in the night and excitement in the air. You can see them from many points in the city, but when you get closer, it only gets more intense. Friends who have watched it from the park itself report that not only does everything look brighter and bigger, but, as an added bonus, when you're there you feel the ash rain down on your face.

Get Down with Cricket
The perception that cricket obsession is limited to Brits is a myth. Not only is the elegant sport popular among East and West Indians and others, its current runs strong in Hartford. Not only are there eight active clubs that play throughout the spring and fall, but Hartford is also home to the Cricket Hall of Fame, a museum on Main Street. Paddle-holding, whites-wearing players are a common sight along the Connecticut River, and taking in a match makes for a lovely afternoon. For more information, visit crickethalloffame.org.

Downtown Plays
The Hartford Stage, the Bushnell and Theaterworks have escalated their theatrical engagements, featuring a meaty variety of downtown plays. The Bushnell recently put on the ultimate musical for people who hate musicals, Spamalot. The Hartford Stage's presentation of Shakespeare's A Midsummer's Night Dream is an across-the-board hit. Theaterworks' current No Child ... is as compelling as it is politically hard-hitting. So why are you at home eating Cheetos and watching reruns of The Office? For more information, visit bushnell.org, theaterworkshartford.org and hartfordstage.org.

Jazz in Bushnell Park
Some people hate jazz. That's fine; it's not for everybody. But even if jazz doesn't ring your bell, an evening among friends and wine in Bushnell Park probably does. If you don't like the music, then it's a purely social experience in a park with some agreeable background music. If you do like the music, great — it's that much more fun. The Bushnell offers several jazz programs, with the Hartford Jazz Society's Monday Night Jazz series and the Greater Hartford Festival of Jazz. For more information, visit hartfordjazzsociety.com and hartfordjazz.com.

Polish National Home
The subterranean Polish restaurant is an Advocate staff favorite. Tucked away behind Hartford's busy downtown, the Home looks from the outside like an obscure legislative headquarters. Its interior is far more charming and intense, sort of like a VFW hall with Central European grace notes. We can't tell you that much about the menu, because we rarely diverge from our standard orders of either the kielbasa or the Polish plate. They're both so good, we've never seen the point of ordering anything else.

If you want to set us straight on this list, question our taste and good sense,
or offer a list of your own, post away. We love it.